#but HEY i've come up with a kinda canon explanation for it so hey that uhh. that makes it better right???

[gothgoblinbabe]

Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You

(chapter 1/2)

(Logan Howlett x fem reader)

A/N: Yeah, the brain rot has reached a maximum and I've completely disregarded the consequences of a digital footprint! there's a couple descriptions of style of clothing/jewelry but you can imagine that as you please, also absolutely based off of "Babe Im Gonna Leave You" by Led Zeppelin bc idk somewhere in my delusions I think Logans a Zeppelin kinda guy and its what I've been listening to. For the sake of the plot, stick with me, you've got an imaginary ex bf and his random name I picked is gonna be Danny and he suuuucks real hard okay? okay and I need you to pretend dear lovely reader that you like led zeppelin if you don't 💔[holding your face ever so gently and smooching ur forehead] and I've seen only xmen origins, x-men, X2, and Deadpool x wolverine so pls pls forgive me if some stuff doesn't canonically fit. This is kind of cringe but I wrote too much of it to get rid of it just bare with me I beg of u and it was so long I had to split it into two parts

Summary: Meeting the infamous Wolverine got you roped into a liiiitle more than what you bargained for

Warnings: swearing, you have telekinesis and telepathy (cause that's cool, c'mon), mild angst, suggestive stuff kinda, mentions of cheating (Logan does not cheat on u I pinkie promise), Logan calls you kid but you're not actually a child lol, you're a good bit younger than him but also so is anyone else who isn't borderline immortal

Word Count: 4K

Pt 2!

[credit for text post dividers here and here]

There had been muttering here and there between the students at the academy that Wolverine was coming back after a few years on his own, confirmed when Marie recognized the motorcycle now parked in the driveway of the mansion.

"Logan!"

He was immediately wrapped into a hug by Marie at the door, dropping his bags to the floor.

"Hey, kid, miss me?"

"Maybe," she smiled sweetly, tucking the white strands of hair behind her ears.

"Long time no see, huh?" Ororo's voice interrupted from behind her, earning a hug from Logan.

"Any one else around?" he questioned, hoisting his bag up over his shoulder again.

"Scott and Jean are around here somewhere, Charles as well. Oh, and there's a couple new faces you haven't met," she responded, smiling at the way Marie's eyes lit up at the chance to mention what she had been meaning to tell Logan.

Marie gasped and said your name, grabbing Logan's arm in excitement, "you have got to meet her. She joined us a couple of months ago, I think you'll really like her. She's kind of been like...our you, when you've been gone."

He quirked an eyebrow at that, looking between the both of them for an explanation as to what that was supposed to mean.

"You'll see," Ororo chuckled lightly, "oh, you will see."

"She's here now, I think, you should go introduce yourself to her!"

Logan had swiftly caught onto Marie's adorable attempt to play cupid and gave her a nod, "maybe when I settle in, okay, kid?"

She nodded in agreement and both her and Ororo watched him walk off further down the corridor.

"How do you think it will go when they meet?" the later of the two asked earnestly once he was out of sight.

"Well," Marie paused for a moment, thinking, "they'll be inseparable or absolutely hate each other."

Ororo nodded in agreement almost immediately, holding in a small laugh.

Much later in the evening, Logan had been beckoned into the study along with Ororo, Marie, Bobby, you, Jean and Scott by Charles.

He had been the last to enter, eyes immediately settling on your unfamiliar frame stood next to Marie with your back against the wall. You had plenty of rings adorning your fingers and necklaces dangling in front of your chest in the same kind of fashion he'd seen in those magazines with the Harley biker girls. You looked a little like one of them too, in well fitting jeans adorned with a belt, a band shirt and some chunky boots, except you were very much real and not on glossy paper.

"Oh! Logan!" Marie exclaimed upon noticing his arrival, beckoning him over with her hand. That turned your attention to him and he felt like the wind may have been knocked out of him when your eyes met his. You were far prettier than any of the girls he'd seen in any magazine.

"This is her," Marie whispered to Logan when he approached and nudged his arm, referring to when she had told him about you earlier.

"This is Logan," Marie said to you, gesturing towards him and leaning a little closer to you to whisper something he wouldn't catch, "and he's single, by the way."

A grin was plastered on her face when she pulled away and you rolled your eyes, "Marie - "

"I know, I know, too soon, but I just thought that was very good information for you to know," she raised her hands and stepped away a little, still intent on watching how the two of you interact for the first time.

Logan extended a hand for you to shake and you did the same. Your hands were small in his and your skin soft to the touch. It was almost hard for him to drop your grip when he did, nervous that he'd hold it even a second too long.

Nervous. Women had rarely ever made him nervous in the hundred - something years he'd been alive, and yet he could feel his heart pounding in his ears when you ran your hands through your hair to push it out of your face.

"Nice to meet you," he finally spoke, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

This may have been a good opportunity to try out your powers a little, concentrate hard enough on the handsome stranger's face to know what exactly was playing out behind his staring gaze, but you resisted the urge to do what you considered a tad bit violating.

"Same here," you responded at last, averting your gaze for just a moment to avoid inadvertently doing exactly what you had just decided you wouldn't.

Marie and Ororo had studied the small interaction between the two of you - of course - waiting for something more to happen, only to be disappointed when the both of you nodded courtly and turned away from each other.

"Well, that's not good. He'd be on her like a dog already - " Ororo started under her breath.

"No, no, I just think..." Marie interrupted, narrowing her eyes between the two of you, "I think they just need to get to know each other."

"Honey..."

"I'm telling you, I just feel like they'd be good together, they just need a chance to get to know each other!"

"Do you really think she's ready to get with another guy?" Ororo nodded her head in your direction, lowering her voice, "after all that stuff Danny pulled?"

Marie grimaced at the mention of one of the professors names, shaking her head in mild disgust, "have you seen him lately? always coming up to her in the halls and stuff, it's sad - for him, I mean."

Before either of them could further debate the topic, Charles gained everyone's attention to discuss a series of tasks he'd assigned to you all. As he spoke, you only tuned in once you heard your name.

"You are the one I'd like to send out to complete that with Daniel."

"Could, uh, can I do it with someone else? or have him do it alone, or something?"

Logan caught the confused look Jean shot your way, tilting her head before she spoke, "You don't want to go with Danny? What happened, I thought the two of you -"

You cut her off with a sharp shake of your head, scowling, "uh-uh. Hell no. He...uh, I'll tell you about it later."

You had realized the sudden vulnerability you'd found yourself experiencing in a room full of eyes on you and cleared your throat, attempting to change the subject.

"I can hang back and keep an eye on the kids, I don't mind."

"They do love you," Ororo chimed in, "and we need someone to stay back to watch them anyway."

"They only like her so much because she allows them to break the rules," Scott remarked, earning a nudge in the arm from Jean.

You sighed, rolling your eyes, "Scott, the thing with the kids in your room was one time and it was an accident - "

"Was it? Because one of them wrote 'asshole' on my bathroom mirror with sharpie."

"They're kids, they do that kind of stuff!"

"was that really one of the kids?"

You tucked your lower lip under your teeth in an attempt to smother a laugh. Logan almost immediately did the same when you darted your eyes around the room in a guilty attempt to avoid eye contact.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me - " Scott started but Charles interrupted, holding up a hand.

"Alright, the both of you - enough. You," he continued, gesturing towards you, "may stay back with the children. Please do not allow them into anyone's personal quarters and I would advise you to hide the permanent markers for the time being, away from the children and perhaps yourself."

You nodded and hung your head low to hide the reappearing smile across your face. Logan stared inadvertently from then on, watching you twist your rings around your fingers and focusing on you intently when you spoke every now and then. When you were all dismissed by Charles and filed out of the room, you and Marie walked ahead of most of the group, almost out of ear shot.

Logan heard Jean's hushed voice behind him as she leaned into Scott, "so...what do you think happened? With Danny?"

"Who the hell is this Danny guy?" he finally asked, turning over his shoulder to interrogate the two of them.

"Well," Jean whispered your name, looking ahead to be sure you hadn't caught their conversation, "it's her boyfriend. Or was, I guess. They had a thing for awhile but they stopped hanging around each other all the sudden and she can't even stand to hear his name - she hasn't told me what it's about yet."

Logan simply hummed in acknowledgment, turning back ahead and finding his gaze caught on the sway of your hips as you walked.

"Oh no," he heard Ororo huff beside him, almost immediately following her gaze to see a guy he didn't recognize slip behind you and put an arm around your waist. Too far out of ear shot to hear the context, he watched you squirm out of the young mans grip and shake your head as you kept walking.

"Is it bad I want to get closer to hear what they're saying?" Ororo muttered, looking to the other three in her proximity.

"It's not our business," Jean reminded her.

"So, that's him?" Logan asked, gesturing to the guy still on your heels like a puppy.

"uh - huh," Ororo answered, frowning as she watched Danny make another pathetic attempt to put his arm around you.

When the two of you stopped at the far end of the hall and you told Marie it was okay to leave you, Logan, Ororo, Scott and Jean all turned the corner to the closest hallway.

"Oh, I know It's bad but I have got to know what lame excuse he's got this time," Ororo shook her head, stopping just around the corner to eavesdrop.

"Ororo - " Jean sighed, placing a gentle hand on her friend's arm, "come on."

"They're in the hallway! it's not like I'm standing outside a door," she reasoned, hushing them after so that the only voices hard were yours and Danny's.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm sorry - "

"Danny, many times do I have to tell you I don't care? Why won't you just leave me be?"

You sounded exasperated, your voice slightly muffled when you rubbed your face with your hands.

"What do you think he did?" Scott chimed in in a hushed town, now fully invested in the dialogue.

Logan was still stood there, though he wasn't too sure why. He could have and should have kept walking - let the three of them do their weird detective work - but instead found himself leaned against the wall with the rest of them.

"I love you, you know that, sweetheart, I - "

"ugh, don't call me that. You gross me the hell out, you know that?"

Both Jean and Ororo made almost the same shocked expression.

"oh, it has to be bad," Jean hissed, frowning at the venom in your tone.

"Tell me you're not still in love with me, you know you can't, we - " Danny's voice began again and yours cut him short with a sense of finality in your tone.

"Danny. I stopped being in love with you the day I walked in on you fucking another other girl."

Jean's hands flew to her mouth to muffle a shocked gasp. Scott stood with his arms crossed, his face in a grimace.

"ooh, that is bad," Ororo whispered just as a door slammed.

Logan furrowed his eyebrows, following everyone else as they continued their path down the hall again. This Danny kid had to be a real idiot.

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Weeks had passed and you shared small talk with Logan every now and then, sometimes making snarky comments here and there - though more often than not together and at Scott's expense. Funnily enough, the ability to piss Scott off so much made Logan like you even more. Maybe Marie was right, you kind of are like him.

You walked alongside him down the corridor one afternoon, intending to fulfill Ororo's request for the both of you to check in on some of the newer students.

"So, do you always do your hair like that?" you raised your eyebrows up at him, eyeing the peaks in his hair.

"Yeah. What, you don't like it?" He grinned, expecting you to make some smart remark about it.

"No, not that," you giggled, "it's like lil' cat ears, it's cute."

He looked down at you quizzically, stopping in his tracks.

"cat ears?"

"mm-hm. You're like a big kitty."

You bit down another giggle, reaching up boldly to touch his hair.

He gently swatted your hand away, still with a small grin on his face.

"Don't call me that."

"Big kitty?"

"Yes."

"Okay, kitty meow - meow."

He narrowed his eyes as you turned to continue walking in an attempt to hide the huge smile plastered on your cheeks that threatened to transform into a rather loud laugh.

"Uh-huh, whatever. You better not let anyone else hear you call me that," he huffed as he caught up to you rather easily.

As you were about to make another retort, your smile dropped at the sight of a familiar and unfriendly face that had come from around a corner.

"Christ," you squeezed your eyes shut in frustration, rubbing your forehead at the sight of your ex-boyfriend.

"Hey," Logan leaned down a little, nudging you gently, "I'm here, you're good. You're fine, don't worry about him. It's just us, alright? Walk past him like you don't even see him."

Though he'd be embarrassed to admit and absolutely deny it if anyone asked, he'd unfortunately (for himself) harbored a crush on you that only took a couple weeks to develop. He hadn't even really gotten the chance to know you yet, though that was precisely why he was glad about moments like these. He wanted to, even if he felt like a school kid with a playground crush.

You had simply nodded at his words, allowing him to place a gentle hand on your upper back to guide you down the hall with him. Even through the layer of a jacket and t-shirt, you could feel the warmth of his hand on you.

Logan remembered that moment in the hall on the first day you'd met, but never pestered you for details about what the hell went on before he got back. He figured when and if you wanted to tell him, that was up to you.

Keeping your eyes straight ahead, it took what felt like years to pass your ex-boyfriend. When you finally did, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, until his voice stopped you in your tracks.

"That's my shirt."

You whipped your head around, feeling Logan slip his arm a little further around you as a protective reflex.

"What?" you furrowed your eyebrows, looking down at your attire. The shirt, a tad oversized and well worn, was so familiar that you had completely forgotten it once did belong to him.

"I want it back," he spoke again, crossing his arms.

"Do you really want it back?"

You were beyond fed up with his pestering at this point, already having decided what may make the message clear.

"Yes."

"Okay. Fine."

You pulled away from Logan and slipped off your jacket, turning around to hand it to him. He gave you a confused look, hesitantly taking it out of your hands. In a matter of seconds, you turned back around and tugged the t-shirt up and over your head, tossing it directly at Danny's chest. You turned back and took your jacket from Logan's hands, zipping it far enough to cover your bra. In the few seconds you had stood facing him, he had done his best to keep his eyes away from your body and failed miserably, looking up after to see the asshole a few feet away already glaring at him.

"What, you're just gonna walk around like that? And what are you doing hanging out with him anyway, don't you know he - "

You groaned at the sound of Danny's voice again, gently tugging Logan by the hand in the opposite direction as you began to walk away, "yap, yap, yap - just shut the fuck up."

Logan couldn't help the smirk plastered across his face as you continued to walk, finally turning a corner. Before you could apologize to him for having to awkwardly stand witness to that, Scott's voice echoed from the stairway above you.

"Hey, Charles is looking for you two. He says he has something he needs you to take care of, he didn't say what."

"Thanks for the specifics, Scott," you replied sarcastically, "but we're supposed to check on - "

"I know," he interrupted, "I got Marie and Bobby to cover you. You're welcome, by the way."

You rolled your eyes and looked back to Logan, dreading what exactly it was Charles wanted from you.

That landed you where you were the next morning, heaving your bags into the back of Logan's truck.

"If we have to take the truck like two states over, can I at least drive?"

The plane being needed for another assignment that Jean, Scott and Ororo were assigned left the two of you with Logan's truck. You'd been asked to retrieve a rare mechanical piece needed for the construction of some new device; you'd only been half-listening when Charles started to explain the details, lost in thought after he'd mentioned it would require the two of you to sleep out overnight.

Man, that had made your chest feel tight. It had been almost physically painful trying to swallow down every tell that you really liked him for the past few weeks and now you had no choice than to be each others only company for nearly 2 days.

"Yeah, in your dreams, kid," Logan scoffed playfully and brought you back to reality, dangling the keys in his hand.

You narrowed your eyes at the keyring he began to spin around his finger. In a split second, the jangle of the metal could be heard as you snatched them from his hand with only a focused thought.

You caught them in your raised palm and tilted your head, a terribly smug smile across your cheeks.

"Looks like my dreams came true, huh?" you teased, walking past a still mildly distraught Logan to get into the drivers side.

"If you dent it, I'll kill ya," he warned as he finally slid into the passenger seat, watching your every move as you started the engine and carefully reversed out of the garage.

"Uh-huh, sure," you retorted sarcastically, "I'm terrified of the kitty claws."

"What did I say about calling me that?"

"Calling you what?" you feigned ignorance, fumbling with the knob on the stereo to change the station as your eyes stayed glued to the road.

"And don't mess with everything, kid, you'll end up breaking something. She's on old girl, you gotta - "

"Dude," you interrupted, simultaneously cranking down your window and fishing a pair of sunglasses out of his center console, "I know how to drive, chill out."

"Dude," he mocked, "this truck is probably almost as old as you, you gotta be careful."

You rolled your eyes under the shades of the worn aviators you had slipped onto your nose, simply nodding and continuing to flip through stations.

"Pick one and stick with it, will you?"

"Ooh, is someone mad I got the keys?"

Before he could say something in response, you gasped at sound of the song playing on the station you had just switched to, twisting the knob almost as far as it could go.

Logan recognized the familiar thump of "babe I'm gonna leave you" by Led Zeppelin, furrowing his eyebrows when you began to nod your head and sing along.

"You like Led Zeppelin?" he nearly had to shout over the music, leaning in to you a little further.

"Yeah," you responded, reaching over to turn the music down just enough for you to hear each other and glancing at him momentarily, "How come you're looking at me like that?"

He unfurrowed his eyebrows and shrugged, keeping his gaze on the road ahead as he spoke, " just never pegged you for a Zeppelin kind of girl, I guess."

"No? What's that supposed to mean?"

You were smiling again and it was excruciatingly difficult for him not to stare when you looked so good in the spot he usually sat with his old sunglasses on.

"Didn't think you had good taste in music."

That made you giggle and you shook your head, turning the stereo back up to a booming volume.

He watched you tap your fingers on the steering wheel to the drums as you continued to drive, occasionally moving to push your windswept hair out of your face. The morning sun shining through your open window highlighted your features perfectly and Logan sighed without a thought, unheard over the music. Jesus, he had it bad.

You could feel his stare in your peripheral vision every time he looked to you and it felt far warmer than the sun beating down on you from the opposite direction. You truly rarely ever used your developing skill of telepathy, feeling it was only justified when absolutely necessary to obtain information, but his burning gaze nearly had you veering off the road at times and his prior answer to the question of why he was looking at you that way wasn't too convincing.

With a deep breath, already wondering if it was a mistake, you kept your eyes focused to the road but gradually concentrated on the man beside you. Sometimes people's thoughts would appear as inner dialogue, other times as imagined scenarios, daydreams or visuals. You were confused, then, when you only saw an image of yourself as you were now. If you concentrated too hard, your own thoughts would transfer to Logan's mind and it would be humiliatingly obvious that you had been poking around in his consciousness and so you tried to clear your mind and try again, assuming your own mind was too preoccupied with yourself to concentrate properly.

Still, you could only see the image of yourself driving from the perspective of the passengers seat, one hand on the wheel and the other in your hair as you propped your elbow on the door. This time, though, you could hear the accompanying echo of Logan's voice over the hum of the music you had tuned out.

Is her hair always like that? I like it that way. Pretty.

You swallowed hard, fidgeting with the hair that was between your fingers. It's a compliment - innocent enough, and undeniably kind of sweet. You felt guilty then for probing his thoughts and nearly shook yourself out of it, only to realize the image in Logan's mind was no longer of just your profile. He was thinking about your legs, thighs squished against the seat of the truck.

Fuck

You nearly choked on your own saliva, clearing your throat at the echo of his voice again and immediately withdrawing yourself from his mind.

"You okay?" Logan spoke aloud, putting a gentle hand on your upper arm.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," you lied, trying with every fiber of your being to just keep all focus on the road. You knew you shouldn't have done that. It was just a thought, though, nothing said aloud to change anything between the two of you, and so you pretended the best you could that you hadn't heard or seen a thing.

About eight hours, a handful of dad rock albums and a stop to switch seats later, you finally pulled into the parking lot of the nearest motel you had found didn't have a highlighted "no vacancy" sign.

"If there's fucking bed bugs in here, I will never let you hear the end of it," you warned from the passenger seat.

"I think you'd talk my ear off till the day I die anyway," he scoffed, shifting the truck into park and pulling the keys from the ignition.

"You won't die for another hundred-something years."

"Exactly my point, honey."

You rolled your eyes and slipped out of the truck as he did, pretending the nickname hadn't made your face burn. You both grabbed your belongings and once inside you looked around the small lobby as Logan checked you in, impressed with how surprisingly clean the place seemed to be.

"Hey, is that okay?"

Logan's voice took your attention from the painting on the wall you'd been inspecting and you raised your eyebrows.

"Huh?

"Uh, there's a room left but it's only got one bed."

Your face dropped and you looked between him and the poor kid behind the counter who already looked nervous as all hell.

"You're kidding."

"We can keep driving, but we've already been on the road all day and I don't think there's another place around here for a good few miles."

He was much more calm than you expected him to be and you exhaled, thinking of the literal pain in the ass caused by sitting in the car for so many hours.

"Ugh, fine."

A/N: I had to split this in two because it was so long but If anyone likes this at all I will post da other part cause I like spewing my brain rot on the internet <3

[marclef]

oh my gosh what a little cutie!!!! with those eyes she looks like a critter outta don't starve or something!! but aaaaahhhhh thank you!!!

A gift for @marclef

I wanted to do something with my posca pens and I think it came out great

Plus I think eyhm is adorable little cat with an odd name

[moonschocolate]

Headcanons about my current hyperfixation: THEOO!!☆

I keep stalking the 'theodore nott headcanons' tag so I might as well write my own headcanons about him

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

this man has social anxiety. prove me wrong.

when he was younger he found comfort in reading fiction books, like pjo

he 100% had an obsession with greek mythology, or mythology in general, and it's still kinda there but not like before

then growing up he got into classics

like one day he was like 'what if I read a Dostoevskij book' and that's where it all started

he prefers reading this kind of books because they teach you more

tallest boy you've ever seen, somewhat taller (only by few centimeteres) than Fred and George

he plays the cello, like kind of, he knows how to play a piece only studying it, i believe this man was never able to play a piece at first sight

surprisingly (to him) he really has a lot of things in common with Luna, when he found out he wanted to spend more time with her

he's really silent, but GOD does he ever stop thinking?? his head is loud af

enjoys being with his friends, they're used to him not shouting in their ears (unlike some other boy *cough cough* Mattheo *cough cough ... cough*)and he enjoys their company and they do too

not the type of boy to run to Spotify or whatever music app whenever he can, but he enjoys some kind of music (mostly smooth piano jazz, dramatic classical music since it's my fav, and he thinks TV girl, Lamp, Ichiko Aoba are cool)

never replies quickly, he's always late replying cuz thinks being on his phone is a complete waste of time, but it's not like he's NEVER on it

chill with Halloween but feral over Christmas (does not show it)

legos. I've said all.

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS MAN DOESNT HAVE HIS ROOM FULL OF STAR WARS SETS

despite enjoying english and all that kind of subjects, he is feral, and when I say feral I mean feral over maths. He loves learing new concepts because then it all makes sense and it's just so cool (explained from a person who is also feral over maths, pls tell me you get what i mean)

hyperfixations? oh so many

again, greek mythology

you could tell this man "Hey do you know about the myth of Apolloand Daphne" his eyes would light up and he would tell you the myth, his opinion, and related myths ("there's also this other myht with Apollo where he-")

A S T R O L O G Y

still greek mythology related but

he could stay hours talking about constellations

"hey do you know the myth behind the gemini constellation? No? Can I tell you about it?! Okay so-"

paper stars.

if there's a paper stripe around he'd grab it and make a paper star out of it

looks like the typa guy who'd take a lot of pictures with a canon/sony camera

when he feels anxious he'd do this thing where (get ready for the worst explanation ever) he'd put one of his nails of the right hand in between the skin and the nail of his thumb on his left hand and make the nail go left and right, still in between the skin and the nail (I ALWAYS DO THAT I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE I TRIED TO BE AS SPECIFIC AS I COULD)

He tried to go to a party since Blaise, Draco, Enzo, Theo, Pansy (basically everyone you get it)... begged him to come along

we could sum up his experience in one word

NIGHTMARE

The music was too loud, the people were to close to him, everyone was shouting, there were alcohol and drugs (he still wonders how they got literal drugs into the castle), everyone tried to dance with him and talk to him, that time he got overwhelmed tried to leave, but they were all like 'heyyyy nooo dont leaveeeee stay hereeeeee' but his friends understood it wasn't for him and Blaise went with him to his dorm, waited until he felt better then went back to the party

has never been to a party since then

smart af

like he easily surpasses draco and mione

also theo and mione are really close friends, one time they found eachother in the library reading the same book and chatting they found out they have several things in common

has a collection of stylographs, that stays in his library neatly ordinated

best sense of style (he obv got it from Blaise but he made it better)

he loves movies, he's watched movies like Dead Poets Society, Dorian Gray, but also movies about historical facts like The Darkest Hour, The King's Speech, Hidden Figures, The Pianist (I'm a sucker for this kind of movies honestly)

!! HE HAS DIMPLES !!

He loves professor Lupin, he thinks of him as Keating is dps

secretly listens to Micheal Bublè in Christmas, he loves his Christmas songs

he only buys old books, never new ones, he thinks that already used books, from decades ago, he thinks they hold stories, and it's even better when the books have annotations, maybe he'll erase them, but it's good to hear other's opinions

has a lot of vynils

used to study for his dad, now this became a habit, that's why he's the best in class

his relationship with his mom is not strong, MORE

When his mom died he was 5 so he didn't understand

when he finally knew the truth he cried for weeks, then he would occasionally go out to look at the stars, which he always admired with his mom, and cried thinking about her, thinking that she was watching him from up there

when he was like 10 he didn't cry no more, only if he ever opened up

he shared anything with her

he NEVER let ANYONE call him Teddy, he always though that is what his mom called him, and he didn't want other people to 'interfere' with that, he feels like it's their thing

despises horror movies. gets scared to death watching them, and doesnt find the lore interesting

never walks around with only socks on, has the fear of walking on water accidentally and getting his feet wet and the feeling disgustes him

also, has the whole collection of pjo books (every book. from percy jackson and the olympians to the chalice of the gods)

loves cats so much, he has two cats, but he wishes he had more

he has male brown cat named Monet and a grey cat with some beige spots and green eyes (it's mt bsf's cat, I love her - the cat - and I thought she could be a honourable mention) named Vivienne

defo has an obsession with sharks, but is even more obsessed with jellyfish, he knows a lot of scientific names for their species, for exmample Phylloriza Punctata, or Chrisaora Quinquecirrha, or Aurelia Aurelita, he's obsessed

Fav subject isn't potions, it's astronomy instead

since i live for loser!Theo, im in love with the idea of him stuttering in front of a guy/girl he finds cute or attractive, blushing and being awkward

my man absolutely doesn't know how to talk, he speaks too fast, and when ppl tell him to slow down, then he thinks he's talking too slow

if anyone fatshames any of his friends, or is racist/homophobic towards them, or just insults them, he will try to avoid throwing punches, but lets say he'll exchange a word or two with that person

if he's itchy, he scratches so hard there could be blood (a bit exaggerated but you get it)

could've been a Ravenclaw, but if he did his father would be really mad at him, so he's happy he isn't

another headcanon that I kindly stole rn from @heirofs1ytherin is that he's into poetry. LIKE 100% ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ You probably got that I love him HES MY BABY

[cowgurrrl]

Ok I have fluff angst idea…Charlie is pregnant and freaking out about telling Joel because she is kinda young. And Joel is mad, scared, excited , crying and also grandpa Joel?!

Hello why did this make me tear up

April, Come She Will

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: it’s canon to me that reader and Joel live to be 100 and nothing bad ever happens to them ever again

Summary: The next generation of Millers find their way [3.6k]

Warnings: teen pregnancy (what’s new for this series lmao), arguing, language, call backs

Charlie's been acting weird for the past few weeks. She's been coming in and out of the house at strange times, not showing up for patrol, and giving you vague answers about where she's been. She's nineteen now, so she doesn't necessarily need you and Joel breathing down her neck all the time, but you still like to know where your kid is. She tells you she's been with Ellie or her boyfriend, Eric, which is fine. You like Eric. You just wish she would spend a little more time at home. 

Charlie and Eric met on patrol. No matter how much you tried to dissuade her from joining the patrol team, she wouldn't listen. She had watched you guys go out and defend Jackson as she grew up and even talked to Ellie about her adventures outside the walls. She knew how to ride a horse, and Joel taught her how to handle a gun. The intention was never to "train" her for patrol but to be prepared in a worst-case situation where she needed to protect herself but the second she was old enough, she signed up. She got paired with Eric, a sweet boy her age she went to school with, for her first patrol, and that was it. They've been together ever since. 

Joel was hesitant when they started dating, but you reminded him she was an adult and could make her own decisions. Eric was somehow more hesitant when Charlie invited him over for a family dinner. Eric grew up hearing stories about your family, and his dad occasionally worked patrol with Joel, but knowing him by proxy is much different than sitting across from him at the dinner table. Joel promised to be on his best behavior, but poor Eric was terrified any time Joel asked him a question. Since then, they've gotten a little closer, but they are by no means buddies. You're a little nicer.

All this runs through your head when Eric trails behind Charlie into the house. It's a Saturday, and you and Joel are off patrol, sitting next to each other on the couch. You were supposed to go see Ellie and Dina, but they rescheduled for next weekend without much explanation as to why. JJ might've gotten in trouble. At seventeen, he has more of Ellie's wild personality than anything else. It's a little fun to watch her try to handle a younger version of herself. 

"Hey, can we talk?" Charlie asks, a slight tremble in her voice. You look up from your book, and Joel leans forward to drop his wood carving knife on the coffee table. She and Eric sit across from you, her leg bouncing anxiously when she does, and you glance between them. You're a little confused as to why Eric has to be here for this, but she's clinging to his hand so hard you almost worry she's gonna break it. Worry claws at the back of your throat, but you swallow it down. Whatever it is, you can handle it.

"Sure, bug," you say. "What's up?" 

"Um, so there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I wanted to get some things squared away before I did because I didn't want you guys to freak out or anything. I understand this is a really big deal, but it's under control, and we have a plan." She explains rapidly, and Joel chuckles as he removes his glasses to rub at his eye.

"You ain't pregnant, are you?" He asks, and Charlie is silent. That's when you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Your mouth goes dry, and you sit up, staring at her like you're waiting for her to say she's joking. "Charlotte," Joel says, his tone even and scarily calm. "You're not. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she says, tears shining in her eyes. "But we… we have a plan. We're gonna get set up in a house, and Ellie's gonna lend us some of JJ's old things, and we're gonna pick up some more shifts before the baby comes. It's all gonna be okay."

You can't help but feel like you set her up for failure, not only with your own teen pregnancy but with your inability to keep her safe. In the old days, you might've been able to put her on birth control or give her condoms when she started dating, but those things aren't on the top of the list for what little FEDRA manufacturing is left. The best "safe sex" talk you could have with her is letting her know her options if she did get pregnant or sick. You hated it, but there wasn't much else you could do. And now look where you are. 

"Mom, can you please say something?" Charlie begs as Eric rubs her back. You thought you'd be prepared for something like this with your and Joel's (and Ellie's) family life starting earlier than most. Instead, you find yourself, possibly for the first time ever, sympathizing with your mother. You pull yourself together enough to open your mouth. 

"You wanna have this baby?" You ask, and she nods. 

"We already decided. We're not gonna get married or anything yet, but yeah, we want this baby," she says. Eric doesn't say anything. You figure that's probably smart. It's only a matter of time before Joel freaks the fuck out about the fact that he got your baby girl pregnant. "That's why I went to Ellie's the other day. I was talking to her, Aunt Dina, and Uncle Jesse about when they had Jay." She says. You try not to be offended that she told Ellie before she told you. You told lots of people before you told your mom you were pregnant. Still, you thought you and Charlie were closer than you and your mom were. 

You look at Joel, the same panic and anger taking over his features, and take a deep breath. He grinds his teeth as he thinks, and you have to stop yourself from scolding him. When you look back at Charlie, her face is splotchy, and her brown eyes sparkle in the mid-afternoon light. She looks so grown up but so little at the same time. Your eyes slide from hers to Eric's wide ones.

"I'm assuming you know the stories about Jane and her dad?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am." He croaks, and you nod.

"And I'm assuming you know how Joel and I got to Jackson in the first place?" 

"Mom," Charlie starts, but you catch Joel shaking his head at her in your peripheral vision. Eric swallows thickly and nods.

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Good," you say. "If I ever hear anything about you not being there for Charlie or that baby, or if you even think about leaving them, I'll fucking kill you." You haven't had to speak this way in years, and it, obviously, rattles both Charlie and Eric. Good. You hope it does rattle him. 

"Mom!" Charlie scolds, looking to Joel for help, but it's clear that he has your back with this one. You'll be damned if she ends up a single parent like you two were. She scoffs and stands, pulling Eric up with her. "You don't have to listen to this, Eric."

"Yes, he does." You say.

"Baby, what did you think we were gonna say?" Joel asks. 

"That you'd support my decision or, at least, find a way to!" 

"Of course, we support you. I just..." Joel trails off. "I just don't think you know what this means. How much this is gonna change your life. And I know you love each other, but havin' a baby ain't an easy thing."

"That's why we're doing it together," she says, her eyes moving from Joel's to yours. "That's why it's fucking crazy to talk to him like that. And unfair. You didn't act this way when Ellie had JJ." 

"That's because we didn't need to have this same talk with them. Jesse and Dina had already decided to co-parent Jay. There was no way Dina was gonna be a single mom," you say. "But there were three of them, and it was still hard. You were just a baby when he was born, so you don't remember, but it was a lot."

"So, you don't think I can be a mom?" She asks, and you stand with your hands up in defeat.

"I didn't say that. I just want you to be prepared. I remember what it was like, and I-"

"Just because you were miserable when you had Jane doesn't mean everyone is." It's mean and calculated and hits you right where it hurts. It doesn't matter if it's the hormones or not. The sting of her words renders you silent. 

"Don't you speak to your mother that way!" Joel yells. He never yells anymore, especially at Charlie. The scary boom in his voice fills the room, but you catch the glint of tears in his eyes as his breathing stutters. "This ain't just playin' house, Charlie. So, if your mama is a little worried, she's allowed to be. Shit, we're all allowed to lose our fuckin' minds for a minute, but that isn't an excuse to talk bout your family like that." He says, and she taps her shoe on the ground twice, a nervous tick she picked up from Joel.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't just sit here and listen to you threaten Eric like that," she says. You nod but don't apologize. You can't find anything to say. Charlie stares at you like she's waiting for you to lash out or yell at her, but you can't. She wipes a stray tear away furiously and turns away. "I need some air," she mumbles, dragging Eric out of the house before you can even protest. The door slams behind her, and the floorboards she took her first steps on shake with the force. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls you into him. He murmurs soft assurances into your hair, his voice cracking and tears spilling from his eyes as he does, and all you can do is let him hold you. 

What the fuck else are you supposed to do?

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of the bathroom door in the hall slamming open. You and Joel jolt upright in bed at the sudden sound (old habits die hard, right?), and you sigh as you rub your eyes. You check the alarm clock next to your bed for the time and see it's close to three. The dark mountain town is still asleep outside your window, and you grab a soft flannel from the floor to pull over your shoulders. 

You don't remember falling asleep. You were up, waiting for Charlie to come home so you could talk further, but when the front door opened and closed, and she basically sprinted to her room, you couldn't find the energy for another fight. But when you laid down, you couldn't sleep either, your conversation from earlier playing on a loop in your mind. You and Joel just sat there in silence, staring up at the ceiling until your eyelids got too heavy, and you fell into a dreamless sleep. You couldn't have been asleep for over an hour or two when the bathroom door swung open. Joel looks at you, confused when you stand.

"What are you doin'?" He asks, and you wave him off.

"I know why she's up. Just go back to bed." You say without much explanation before padding down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Your footsteps are loud enough on the tile for her to hear you, so she doesn't flinch when you suddenly pull her hair away from her face and hold it out of the way. She glances at you and softens a little before retching into the toilet again. She does that for another minute or two before her stomach is finally empty, and you can safely let go of her hair. She sighs and leans against the wall as you flush the toilet and hand her a towel. You settle across from her, your back pressed against the sink, and rub her leg as she wipes her face. 

"Thanks," she mumbles as she tips her head back against the wall. She looks tired and weak. All you want to do is scoop her up in your arms like she's three years old again. "I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry. That's my genetics. I was super sick with you and Jane." Her name rolls off your tongue so fast you almost forget the last time it was invoked. The air stiffens between you, and she shifts uncomfortably. 

"How long were you sick for?" She asks softly. You sigh as you track your memory back and try to remember the exact details.  

"About six months," you admit, and she groans. You laugh a little at her reaction, but only because you know how frustrating it is. If you could take it from her, you would. When you settle, she stares at you guiltily and starts picking at the nail bed around her thumb like she can't stand the silence. "Where did you guys go?" you ask to put her out of her misery.

"I just… needed to get out of the house. We walked around town for a while before going to his parent's house," she says. "They still don't know. We wanted to tell y'all first." You nod, unable to give words to your gratitude just yet, and she swallows thickly.  

"You could've stayed," you whisper. "I wanted you to stay."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. For everything." She looks like she could start crying again, so you take a deep breath, scoot over to her, wrap her in your arms, and kiss her temple. You feel her relax into you, and a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"You know your dad and I worry about you. It's not about you not being capable or not smart enough because you are plenty capable and smart. But we also know that it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are. There's nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, and that's not me trying to scare you. It's just how it is." You explain, and she nods into your neck. 

"That's what Ellie said, too." She says. 

"Smart kid." 

"I feel like I fucked up," she pivots dramatically, but you hold on tightly and wait for her to continue. I'm right here with you, baby girl, you think. "I want to be happy because Eric seems happy, and you're supposed to be happy when you find out you're pregnant, but I'm so fucking scared." She sounds like she's on the brink of tears again, and you shush her. She sighs heavily and wipes at her face as she leans back enough to see you. "Were you scared when you found out you were pregnant?"

"Both times, I was fucking terrified. With you, it came later, though. Even though your dad and I talked about having another kid and how amazing you'd end up being, I remember going into labor and shaking cause of how scared I was." You say, and she nods. 

"How did you... know you were supposed to be a mom? She asks. It's a loaded question. How does anyone ever know they're "supposed" to be a parent? You certainly didn't think you were meant for anything that important at sixteen, but you do remember why you made the decision you did. 

"I, um…" you trail off, laughing. "I started having these dreams after I found out I was pregnant."

"Dreams?" 

"It was pretty much the same thing over and over again for a few months. I would be going through my regular routine, but this… baby was following me around. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but I knew it was my baby. And it came with me to school, the grocery store, work, everything, and as time passed in my dream, the bigger the baby got. They'd get more personality or start laughing, or their eyes would change colors, and I'd be so in love with them," You know you sound crazy, but that's because it was crazy. "The first few times, I woke up crying because the baby from my dreams wasn't there. I thought there was nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not having my kid there," you say. The weight of your words catches up with you, and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying. "And I was right." You shake your head and take a deep breath, hyper-aware of her eyes on you.

"I had the same dreams when I got pregnant with you, except they were a little different. In all of them, you were always with Ellie and Dad— every single time. I thought you were gonna grow up and not like me as much or whatever other reason my hormones gave me for the change, but, towards the end, you started showing up alone. You were just this little light. I can't describe it exactly, but everything I did in the dream was a little more magical because you were there. Things were shiny or glittery, and you would just giggle and giggle and giggle," you say, smiling at the memory. You grab her hand and squeeze hard, looking directly into her eyes and fighting more tears. "You turned my world technicolor even before you were born, and I knew I would always do everything I could to protect you. That's why I was so hard on Eric. I know he's a good kid and nothing like Jane's dad was, but I don't want you to end up like me, kid." Charlie squeezes your hand, somehow harder than you squeeze her, and a familiar crease appears between her eyebrows.

"Mommy, if I'm half the woman you are, I'd be so fucking happy. Are you kidding me?" She says. 

"Charlotte-" 

"I'm serious," she cuts you off, Joel's commanding yet gentle tone seeping into her voice. "Mom, you made my lunch until I was in high school, and even when I asked you to stop, you still had one ready to go just in case I needed it. You used to take JJ and me to the park so Ellie and Aunt Dina could get some sleep, even though everyone knew that meant you didn't get any. You convinced Dad to talk to Eric because you knew I loved him and wanted him to like him..." She slows down a little bit, scanning your face before she continues. "You kept a kid alive during the Outbreak despite everything. You still buy her flowers on her birthday. You tell me about her. You let me know her," you take a shaky breath, and you can't stop the tears anymore. "You're a good mom, and I'm so lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for what I said and for getting pregnant and-" 

This time, you stop her by hugging her tight and letting yourself cry. She gets emotional, too, and a very unlucky Joel finds the two of you crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Like everything, he takes it in stride and joins you two on the floor until the sun breaches over the mountains and a new day shines down. 

It's hard to say things got easier after that day. Eric's parents didn't react very positively at first, and it took them most of her pregnancy to come around. Charlie goes through weeks of sickness and bed rest. They argue a lot about the future and what it should look like, but they get there in the end. The next year, the house is filled with a familiar chatter and chaos. Charlie and Eric's twins (which explains why she felt so bad), Elliot "Ellie" Beth, and April Theresa Miller-Donovan, squeal as Joel takes turns dancing with them in the living room.

Elliot is, obviously, named in honor of your Ellie, but she bears Sarah's middle name. April threw you for a loop. The twins were born in snowy January, confusing you as to why they would name her that and not January, but Charlie smiled as she handed April to you. "Jane's birthday is April 7th. I didn't want to steal your name, but I remember you taking me to the meadow to pick flowers for her. April 7th was always my favorite day." She explained, making you choke up. When she told you April's middle name, you and Joel completely lost it. Theresa, for your Tess, the woman who believed so much in Ellie, she forced you to believe in her, too. The woman who saved your life in more ways than one. The woman who would've absolutely adored Charlie if she ever met her. 

You love being grandparents again— admittedly, a little older than you were the first time around. Joel teaches the girls Spanish words and lets them pull on his beard. You make extra food so your baby has something to eat after the long days and nights of keeping them alive, and you play silly games with them. They don't look like you or Joel or even Charlie or Eric. They look like their own little people. People who will never know the loss, destruction, and nights spent staring hopelessly at walls you went through. People who will grow up safe and loved and cared for. People who carry names they won't be able to put a face to. 

That's okay. They don't need to know about the people you were before you were their grandparents, and maybe it's time for you to try to let that time go. Maybe, in your and Joel's old age, with the deep wrinkles and graying hair, you can just be. Maybe you can just dance in the living room and make warm blankets and fall asleep holding hands. Maybe everything does turn out okay.

[lorirwritesfanfic]

Break - Part I

Book: The Royal Romance Pairing: Liam Rys x MC (Jade) Rating: M Word count: 2124 Reading time: ~8min Summary: After dinner in Fydelia, Liam sent a message to Jade asking her to meet him so he explain why he didn't stood up for her and chose Madeleine to be fiancee. But neither of them were ready to face the outcome of their conversation. Based on the prompt: @kingliamappreciationweek day 4: Relationships

Author's note:

Jade Bourbon is a creation of this author. The other characters belong to Pixelberry Studios;

This year's KLAW brought me back to the days I wrote incessantly about Liam, so I decided to revisit some old fics and revamp them. This piece was originally part of Coming Back With a Bang, but because I've been frustrated with book two scene in the balcony with Liam since 2018 and my attempt to write a fix-it fic then lacked emotion, I'm rewriting it and hoping this time I can do justice to Jade and show how she felt;

There may be some lines from canon in here. I just don't know which ones 😅

Thanks to @lizzybeth1986 and @sazanes for hosting KLAW again. I don't know if a rewritten fic will be accepted, but regardless it is or not, thank you for once again inspiring me with prompts to write Liam.

While Maxwell waited outside the ladies room, Jade looked at herself in the mirror and heaved a sigh. She was a mess. Sure, she could fix her makeup and go back out there. But what for? Watching Madeleine snaking her hands over him? For more people to tell her how she became a pariah  in the kingdom and should just leave? What was the point of all this anyway?

Turning on the sink, she washed her hands and placed them on the back of her neck to freshen up. She was still resolute not to give up. But for the night, she had enough.

As she walked out of the ladies room, Maxwell stood up from the settee with his usual encouraging smile. 

"You seem better."

"Thanks..." She simpered. "Can I go back to my room now? We congratulated the happy couple, toasted, dined on their honor and blah blah blah..." Jade gesticulated as she twisted her lips in annoyance.

"Sure. I think the staff already has it cleaned. I'm kinda beat too."

"Let's go then."

Lacing arms with her friend, Jade and Maxwell walked towards the grand staircase.

"Wait, we don't have to go back and say goodnight to them, do we?" Jade made a face.

"Nah... It's okay. It's been a long day for all of us."

"Tell me about it..."

A soft knock on the door echoed in the room, waking Jade up. She had no idea how much time had passed or who could be knocking on her door right now. 

After getting out of bed and taking a quick look in the mirror, she reached for a robe and answered the door.

"Hey you!” Her eyes soften at the sight of Maxwell. “What’s with the flowers?”

“Special delivery!” Maxwell beamed as he walked in carrying a huge red roses arrangement. “Housekeeping sent over a new centerpiece for your end table.” 

"Now?"

"The staff apologized for sending it so late, but they thought it'd be nice for you to wake up and see the flowers."

"Aw, it really is nice..." She smiled, burying her nose on the centerpiece to smell the roses when she noticed a small envelope wrapped around one of the stems.

Opening the envelope, she picked up the note inside and her eyes rose in surprise.

“Oh, that’s Liam’s handwriting," Maxwell prompted.

"I wouldn't blame you if you're furious with me, but please meet me so I can at least explain. I'll be on the balcony outside my room in twenty minutes." - L.

As if pulled by a magnet, Jade walked outside to search for Liam's balcony.

Maxwell picked the note from the floor, read it while following Jade outside. "You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

"I shouldn't..." Jade bit down her lip as her eyes began to water.

“Hey..." Maxwell approached her, placing his hand on her arm. "I cannot imagine how much it stung to see him with Madeleine. But Liam wouldn't send you this if he didn't think he owed you an explanation."

"Should I go?"

"You're my friend, but I'm also his friend and I kinda want to say 'hell yeah! Go get your man!'" Maxwell enthused, making her giggle, but immediately his features grew a bit serious. "I'm rooting for you two, but if you say it's too much for you right now, I'll get it."

Jade chewed on a nail.

“Whatever you decide, I'll support you. Don't forget to get some rest, okay?”

"Thanks, Max."

"Have a goodnight, Little Blossom." Maxwell said as he left the balcony and then left her room.

Alone once again, Jade mulled over Liam's note and remembered their encounter earlier. The way he gazed at her, complimenting her, kissing her hand as gentle and passionate as ever, his eyes searching for hers throughout the dinner... 

Jade walked back into the room and searched for the nicest yet comfortable clothes she had in the closet. She needed to be ready to climb his balcony if necessary, but still look her best in case they end things. Maybe he did have an explanation. She just hoped it'd be a good one.

As soon as Jade stepped into the garden, her eyes darted to Liam's balcony. As one of his fingers idly ran on the rim of a nearly empty wine glass, Liam sat by himself, lost in thought. Ignoring her racing heart and dry mouth, she walked towards the pillar under his balcony and hoped she could not only climb it, but manage to tell him everything that was choked inside her.

“Jade!” Liam murmured in surprise as he rushed to help her get into his balcony.

Her feet barely had touched the ground when Liam swept her into his arms. His nose buried on her hair, tears fell down her cheeks as the inebriating scent of his cologne overtook her. It was so hard not to lose herself in his embrace. If there was any place she yearned to be again, it was certainly within his arms.

Yet, flashes of coronation night and the dinner earlier came to her, reminding her of her current situation. Reality always seemed to hit her as hard as a slap on the face.

After wiping her tears discreetly, Jade pulled away from his eyes and said, “You're engaged."

Liam swallowed hard and nodded.

"We need to talk."

“Yes, of course. It’s just…" Liam took a step closer, gazing into her eyes. "Damn, Lady Jade, how I’ve missed you.”

Jade averted her gaze for a moment to gather strength and say what she had to tell him. “Aren’t you going to ask me if it’s true?”

“No. I don’t need to ask to know it was a set up.”

“You knew?” 

Her eyebrows rose as she tried to process what he said. 

"You knew?!" As she repeated, a wave of anger took over her. “Then why? Why did you let me go?" Her eyes glisten with tears again. "Why didn't you try to reach out to me? Why did I have to hide like a criminal if you knew I was the victim? Why did you have to choose… her?” Her lips quivered, her emotions taking the best of her as she cried again. 

"Oh, Jade..." Liam whispered, pulling her back into his arms. "If only you knew how much I wanted to tell you that I believe you, that I always knew you'd never spoken more than a few words to Tariq because you were simply polite to him... But I couldn't."

Her hands balled into fists as she tried to push him away, yet Liam didn't let go. She continued, hitting his chest harder as hot tears streamed down her face. 

And in spite of it all, Liam didn't pull away nor tried to defend himself. He simply continued to hold her as tight as he could. When she finally hugged him back, Liam kissed her forehead in adoration. He waited for as long as it took her for her to calm down then led her to the settee so they could talk.

"Why did you say you couldn't?"

"Though I knew it was set up because Drake told me about the broken lock on your door, I had no proof. No one knows where Tariq is, who could've told him to go to your room. Someone had gone to great lengths to frame you." A muscle in his jaw twitches. "If I chose you that night or tried to remain in touch with you or the Beaumonts, I might have put you in greater danger."

"Oh?"

"I haven't told you about my mother."

"You mentioned she died when you were young."

"The details of passing weren't disclosed to the press, but she was poisoned."

Jade's mouth fell open.

"We still don't know who caused my mother's death. And if that person is still out there, walking freely into the country estate that was built to be secure..." He shook his head. "I can't think about the possibility of losing you, Jade."

Jade chewed on a lip, not knowing what to say.

"I'll regret what I did at the Coronation for the rest of my life because it hurt you and I'm sorry that it happened as it did. But in that moment, the only thing that I could think of to keep you safe was to make whoever is behind this believe that they won. But I am so, so sorry... This must have been miserable for you."

Liam reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"You could've called..." Jade murmured.

"I had to make it seem like I had no more ties with you. But I knew you were safe at Ramsford. Bertrand kept you distracted with etiquette, ballroom dancing and Cordonian history lessons."

Her eyes widened. "How do you know that?"

"Bertrand and I talked briefly through a secure line. I told him to cut you slack so you could have time to go jogging. I heard you were playing the piano sometimes..."

"He did keep you up to speed," she concluded, still annoyed.

"In case you were wondering, we only had short calls. If I had talked to you, I wouldn't be satisfied with a one minute call every now and then."

"Me neither..." Jade sighed. "Okay... I guess it makes sense. But I still have one question. Why her?"

"Madeleine is different from the other suitors. We never really got along, she doesn't care about that I feel nothing for her. I couldn't ask any of the other ladies to go through an arrangement like this. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone else's feelings."

"But you don't care about Madeleine?"

"You've had time to talk to her."

"Unfortunately... Is she awful with you too?"

"To put it mildly..." Liam made a face.

"I thought she was mean to us girls because we were competition."

"Perhaps it was, but in my opinion, that's Madeleine being herself."

"This arrangement you have with her…" Jade pressed her lips together, struggling to think about what she was going to ask. "Does it make me your mistress?”

“Hardly. You’re the woman I love. The only one.” Liam locked his fingers through hers. “I know this is not what any of us hoped for, but all I could think about at that moment was finding a way to keep you in my life.”

“Liam, I—" She shook her head. “This is a lot.” 

“I know. But my hope is that it's all temporary. Just until we find whoever schemed against you. After all of this, if you still have me, our love won't have to be a secret.”

“But what if we can't find who did this?"

"I'll still be all yours even if I have to marry Madeleine. But if you don't want it, I..." He trailed off, then took a deep breath. "I won't stand on your way."

As tears welled up on her eyes once again, Liam went down one knee and cupped her cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb. “Stay."

"Liam..."

"I'm talking about tonight. Stay here. I need to see with my own eyes that you’ll be safe.” 

Jade sobbed. This was too much. Becoming his mistress was a hard limit for her. Yet, how could she leave him if every part of being came alive under his gaze? Unable to find words to express what she felt, she just sat there and sobbed while Liam took a plce by her side again, pulling her close in his arms.

It was still dark when Jade woke up. Around her waist, one of Liam’s arms pressed her back against his chest. On the sleeve of his shirt, makeup stains. Signs of how much all of this has been tough on them.

She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of his aftershave lingering on the pillow, the warmth of his arm and chest protecting her. She knew deep inside he would do anything to shield her from insults, dirty looks and any threats. But it still was a lot for both of them.

“Liam,” she whispered, rubbing his hand.

He frowned a little before opening his eyes.

“Hey...” she turned to face him and gave him a weak smile.

Hey,” he said, stifling a yawn. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. I just have to go back to my room now.”

“Of course. Let me talk to the guards outside first.” 

He then got out of the bed, ran a hand in an attempt to fix his tousled hair and opened the door. A couple of minutes later, he returned.

“You can take the hallway. None of the guards will ask questions. As far as they're concerned, you were never here,” he said, placing his hands inside his pockets.

“Thank you.” 

Jade sat up, put her flats back on her feet and headed to the door.

“Jay...” he called, taking one of her hands before she reached the doorknob. “What about us? Will we be okay?”

“I hope so... But I need time to think. It’s a lot to process.”

Liam nodded, looking down at her hand as  his thumb stroked her mother’s ring on her finger.

“Hey," she uttered, cupping his cheek gently. "We're not over. I just..."

"I know."

Before they could think about it, her arms wrapped his neck as his hands clenched on the back of her sweater. Would things change between them if they stayed away from each other? Would life give them another chance? They didn't know. But as far as anyone else knew, there was no way back for them.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 27 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Istg my dumbass keeps forgetting when Thursdays are until @notachamealeon reminds me that a tmagp ep dropped

Sam is being bitchy akhskajd literally is this bc he's still feeling good about himself after him and Celia had GASP heterosexual intercourse???

Poor Gwen having to pick up the slack she really is trying her best I love my girl.

"I've got a SPECIAL list for her" hey Gwen that's kind of fucking gay of you-

OH ITS GRANDPA LOOK AT THAT GRANDPA IS BACK

...why is there no explanation? Like why is there nothing about what this is related to, like a prelude or introduction? Augustus just...started talking??

"Than to light within them that muses' fire of inspiration" it might just be a metaphor but whenever the older cases related to the institute or the experiment bring up fire, I become a bit wary

Okay so the institute in the universe seems to be founded for the sake these alchemic experiments as opposed to Jonah Magnus creating it to serve The Eye in TMAverse

Just for anyone that wants to know, Chartism was a working-class movement for political reform in the UK during the 1830s to 1850s. That's what the second journal entry is referencing

Okay the single coachman reminds of one of Jonah Magnus's livers in his regency era harem who got fucked over by a Lukas, I think it was something about the coachman entirely turning his head 180 degrees to face backwards the entire drive or something.

Oh okay so coachman is part of the coach. Lovely.

Okay so we're focusing on the growler? And I think it's because the coachman and the coach attachment is probably due to alchemy of some sort?

Oh great. The cab ate the man. Wonderful.

BOYLE???? AS IN ROBERT BOYLE???? Wait no can't be him he died in the 1600s I remember that from AP Chemistry

Oh my god he convinced his own colleague to go into the growler dude this is giving Jonah Magnus it REALLY is

WAIT. SHUT THE FUCK UP. "operated by me status as founder" SHUT THE FUCK UP I JUST SAID ITS GIVING JONAH MAGNUS

APOLLO REALLY FUCKING HOT ME WITH THE GIFT OF PROPHECY WHAT THE FUCK

Alice my wife hating prime ministers is just So Real also with how viciously she hates the prime minister I would have thought my girl was Desi too since I hate India's prime mini-

I'm gonna shut up

TRANS CONFIRMATION I MEAN WE KNEW BUT YESSSS ALICE CANONICALLY TRANS

Dyhard is SO endgame LOOK AT THEM

"Magnus guy" SHUT THE FUCK UP NO WAY OH my GOD

What is happening. Someone please come pick me up I'm scared why are we talking about sex

Oh Sam. I think it's kind of obvious that Celia does find this like a casual relationship. Kind of like "well if it goes well, it goes well. If not, whatever" He's definitely taking it more seriously than her.

I do also think she's kinda lying when she says Jack's her only first priority bc it's very clear the Magnus stuff is very much a priority too

HILLTOP CENTRE???? RIGHT THATS WHERE THE OUTREACH CENTRE WAS

And also oh god Alice being here is gonna make things awkward isn't it.

MORE MAGNUSSING

Celia is really trying to find the Archivist that she knows but I don't think she's going to get that, not in this universe at least.

Alice joining the scooby doo gang! All we need is Gwen and we got the full team!

Edit: HOW DID I MISS THAT TREVOR FUCKING HERBERT IS THE PRIME MINISTER OH MY GOD

[rhytmrocket]

hey all! so that post about po ship names got more support than expected, and i see at least two people would like to know the names i've come up with. so, here are some of my better works!

note that i don't ship really any of these that much, mainly cuz the only ship ive definitively decided so far that yes this is my yaoi is kaijoe, and also because a portion of these are crack-ish ships that i haven't seen anyone ship like at all (although i haven't checked out po ao3 yet so some of these might actually exist and i just have a blind spot). so if that fact degrades the quality of the names for you, sorry i guess

bulldozer, for bull/sandman. coming from bull, and to "doze" is to fall asleep, and also bulldozer is a word. kinda surprised i haven't seen this ship around, to me it feels like at least someone would ship it.

chocolate milk, for bull/doc. chocolate for doc, and bulls are male cows and female cows produce milk. this is a ship i'm pretty sure exists, but i haven't seen a name for it yet, so maybe this is already an accepted ship name for it like with the glass cannon situation. who knows

bullrush, for bull/hondo. it's a pretty obvious name, but it sounds really good so it's staying here.

redbull, for sodabull. redbull is a carbonated energy drink, which is basically soda. also bull in the name. i know this is one of the bigger ships in the tumblr po fandom, and i cannot believe no one calls it this. i can't have been the first person to come up with this! but everyone calls the ship sodabull so i just gotta live with it but now i'm breaking my silence!! sodabull should be called redbull. i mean maybe not in tags cuz that could get it mixed up with the energy drink but like you know!

popstar, for soda/macho. pop from soda pop(inski), and star because macho is a hollywood star. i feel the exact way about this one as i do with redbull-- it's a good fucking name but i haven't seen any macho/soda shippers use it and it drives me nuts

russian roulette, for soda/aran. soda's russian, and aran has a theme of luck, thus roulette. i haven't seen this ship much recently but scrolling back a while on the soda tag shows that this ship has existed. and i have not seen it be called russian roulette. what is it with soda ships and not reaching their name potential?

piña colada, for hippo/soda. piña colada is an often-alcoholic drink (soda has references to alcohol, and also his name used to be vodka) with pineapple in it (hippo has a lot of connexions to pineapples). ok, this ship i have not seen anyone ship (yet). this name i really just randomly came up with, but i like it and i think it fits and sounds good

dragon dance, for dragon/heike. this is mainly a reference to the move from pokémon of the same name. i am just about certain this ship exists, but i just! haven't! seen it yet!

pizzapie, for pizza/clown. pizzas are sometimes referred to as pies, or pizza-pies, and clowns are known for throwing pastry pies as physical comedy. ok guys hear me out! uh! uh. ok i got nothing, this ship just entered my mind one night and hasn't left since, like a prophet recieving a vision from a god except the god is dionysus wasted off his ass.

spaghetti and meatballs, for pizza/ref mario. i have no explanation for this one. i am so sorry. idk why so many pizza pasta ships come into my mind, that fucker has 0 canon personality

pineapple-shaped disco ball, for disco/hippo. i think the name's pretty obvious. i uh once heard the word cluster "pineapple-shaped disco ball" and immediately thought "lmao that sounds like a ship name for disco kid and king hippo" and promptly put it on my note of ship name ideas. i really like it for them because it's verbose and clunky, it sounds like something their collective braincell and a half would come up with.

oh and! if a name i have here already exists, please do tell! especially if it's redbull or popstar, those two drive me mad. clown.

[jojo-schmo]

what are your personal favorite headcanons for meta knight?

Boy, oh BOY am I glad you asked!! You have unleashed me!!

First of all, I am very much Team White-Eyed Meta!!! (And his pretty pink cheeks!!!!!) -slams my drawing from last year on the table as exhibit A-

I respect everyone on Team Yellow-Eyed Meta since that's what is technically canon. But I just think drawing white eyes is so fun and pretty to look at... My first Kirby game was Squeak Squad and I was so mesmerized by his pretty white eyes when they were revealed for that split second! I'd replay that boss fight a bunch as a kid just to see them.

So yeah, I have the power to be in denial about a few facts for my own amusement and that's one of them. Draw and consume the content that makes you happiest, friends!! :P

About his backstory and origins, I don't have any solid headcanons of my own since I really like seeing other people's takes on it! Being Dark Matter-born, made by Nightmare, blending anime and game lore together, etc. There's so much I enjoy! His mysterious past can be frustratingly open-ended but at least it's given a lot of people the opportunity to be super creative!

I do like to think he gets more enjoyment out of a good, honest battle than he likes to let on. I mean, it's what he's best at! He fights for fun! An entire arena was built for him in Waddle Dee Town!

...So speaking of fighting, I've been doing some thinking about his powers... Like a lot of thinking. This is what I really wanna talk about!!

He's got some good old-fashioned, hard-earned skill with a sword. Probably from years of training. But his more powerful attacks use a lot of wind and electricity. That's why I think Meta Knight has the power of Storms.

Some examples of his use of wind:

One of his signature moves is Mach Tornado, after all!

Now, the bat effect to his spin in RtDL Deluxe kinda puzzles me. It just looks cooler I guess. This is a dude who put his face on his airship so why not have tiny bat particles come from your signature moves? Could just be a natural evolution of his power growing stronger, teehee.

Anyway, here are some examples of his use of electricity: (This man has a LOT of electric effects in his attacks!)

So much electricity!! Zappo! Bzzzzt!

And as a bonus, when Meta unsheathes Galaxia in the anime it materializes from lightning. THAT IS DOPE AS HELL. I don't personally subscribe to much of the anime lore, but I eat this detail UP.

Next, I used to think Meta had telekinesis because of Star Allies. All that purple aura when he lifts the rocks seems like solid evidence.

But then he does the same move in Forgotten Land and he's actually lifting the rocks with wind!! And a lot of it!! So his mastery of wind is significant to me! Probably helps him fly better too! I think his use of wind could certainly give his opponents the impression that he has telekinesis and psych them out a bit!

Finally, I used to think his duplication move was because of the Jamba Heart in Star Allies but I realized he does this in the Kirby Mass Attack mini game (whose canonicity is probably up for debate, but hey.) I'm willing to hear someone else out for an explanation because I'm stumped! Lol :P

....So yeah!! TLDR I think he is a swordsman with the power of Storms!

I'm interested to see other people's takes on him, this is just what I've made up for myself, haha! Either way, I love Meta Knight and he is super cool!! Thanks for reading!!

[aluria-sevhex]

I CAN KILL SIFFRIN. WITH ANAPHYLAXIS. but... will have i have to do the second floor again...

Notes time~!

-please the child say it's yummy

-:D Mira can unfreeze people

-gonna stop for the night

-my break lasted all of yesterday but now i'm back baybeeeeeeee

-i still love the title screen music

-are the enemy names in French?

-yeah i think they are

-eh i feel like dying

-hm looping forwards costs memories... another incentive to fight! yippee i actually like fighting in this game

-i get the kid's drawing every loop :]

-asked Isa about "the hand thing"

-hmmmm methinks there may be... ☆gay☆ :3c

-:0 mysterious 4th hand shape?

-PHONE HAND

-time to loop forward. plantain peel time

-i feel so bad for the frozen people...

-i got a pair of garden scissors! <insert joke about how i've said that Siffrin reminds me of Basil here>

-aw... Mira's anecdotes about the frozen people...

-lol Mira's dying plant

-ooo the Head Housemaiden's office

-love how Vaugarde isn't a monarchy but they call the King that because it's the title he chose and calling him something else would be rude. Vaugarde unsurprisingly supports trans rights

-FUMKIGN ROCK

-FUCK. THE KEY IS IN THE OFFICE.

-oh nice a helpful icon to indicate you've fucked up

-i feel like Loop has some sort of weird thing for Sif...

-exploring elsewhere on the floor

-oh hey a classroom

-how many classes have you taken, Mira? >:)

-ONE HUNDRED FIFTY??? GIRL. DAMN.

-"Someone wrote on the board "Don't stay with your mistakes! Don't be afraid to start over!" You nod! What a true little fact!"

...cheeky

-"no eating snacks" live Bonnie reaction: chomp

-why yes i am writing commentary on a bunch of little bits of narration, it's my notes and i get to make the rules

-bonding earrings? hmmmmmmmm

-oh cool Vaugardians tend to give people multiple names

-fuck yeah trans rights

-oh? Odile has another name?

-Isa doesn't want to tell his because "if i do change again, i want it to be a surprise" again? 👀

-:O THE STYLISH LADY'S NOTEBOOK

-fuck. another weird Sadness

-aight looping time

-my favorite part of the game was when Siffrin said "it's looping time" and looped all over the place

-Mira and Isa: getting hopeful and romantic about how this couple's reunion might go.

Bonnie and Odile:

-hmmmm why u wanna know what a bonding earring is, Sif?

-:0 library? LIBRARY

-"people don't REALLY kiss in plays, do they?" Bonnie. actors do a lot of things.

-your honor they're friends

-the fuck happened to the island. does this have something to do with Loop and/or the King

-how fitting that a game centered on time shenanigans puts so much emphasis on change

-BONNIE CANONICALLY NARUTO RUNS???

-ah yes the Opposite Sides of the Age Spectrum Alliance vs. the Beauty Alliance

-bruh. i picked the wrong way

-"grape juice for adults"

-bonding earrings explanation!

-"I wanna know what happens when prople love each other very much, no one's ever told me!" XD oh, Bonnie

-"And if the bonding is between three or more people, you'd make as many earrings as there are people!" VAUGARDE SAYS POLYAMORY IS COOL

-kinda cool that they basically do wedding earrings instead of rings

-"Not my kind of thing" eh fair

-Isa, Mira, and Bonnie are now overthinking the normal earrings because Siffrin pointed it out

-Mira doesn't seem to want to get bonded... hmmmm... 🟩⬜️⬛️?

-:0 Mira has beef with the trap room guy? >:O he stole her shit!

-that was a tricky boss

-hehe Isa is hungry

-ISA WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT... fair actually. what WOULD they do with any bodies?

-WAIT. THE PINEAPPLE THING IS COMING UP. I CAN DIE OF ANAPHYLAXIS?

[just-a-carrot]

Hey, Carrot!!

Just wanted to confirm you that your self-indulgent does, in fact, also mean "us-indulgent" 🤣🤣

I've just played the game and I loved it🤩🤩

I was kind of mad when I saw that I could only choose the options with the hand so many times before the bar depleted and lost the chance of getting the true ending. (I wanted to "make a jest" so bad every time it appeared 🤣🤣)

I adore the menu screen once you get THE ending, it's just so sweet I will stare at it forever🤧🤧

Btw, the whole game reminded me a lot of that one piece of art from some time ago and I can't help but wonder: did this piece sparkle the idea of the game (like, the conversation that they could have given their roles, which would eventually become the game)?

Or maybe it's simply that they both happen in the same place and are inspired by dd2(?🤣🤣

(Also, I know almost nothing about dd2, what does it mean when his hand started glowing?)

WAH

i'm really happy you enjoyed it... 💕 thank you for playing! lkdjflaksdf i'm sorry about forcing you to choose other options 🤣 there are a couple different ways you can reach the end. i think you only need to save up will for like... maybe 2(?) choices. and there are a few possible choices where not choosing the hand option will still let you proceed

the rest of this got kinda rambly also with vid/images so i've put it behind a cut (what's wrong with me)

LOL i wouldn't say this game was directly inspired by that specific art piece, moreso that that place in the game is just really inspiring to me because it's so beautiful, so it fills me with all sorts of soft feels (and ideas) and also just gives me a sense of calm. it's also why i have so many shots of it in the music video LKDJFALSKD i think i've spent literal hours there i have so much footage there of just clips like this:

so it was more just me wanting to do something soft and sweet so my mind immediately went back to this place

re: the glowing palm scar LKDJFALKSDFA THAT'S...

ok so. mmm. the scar itself in-game is essentially a symbol of his connection to the arisen (iggy). it glows every time he gets summoned from a rift stone and is reunited with iggy... i think it might possibly glow at other (canon) times though it's hard to tell because until recently genzou's outfit always had gloves and/or he's often holding a weapon in his right hand (so i can't tell for instance if it glows when he's revived...)

on the left is the best shot i've gotten of it when not glowing. on the right is the only good shot i can get of it glowing because for this cutscene the game removes his glove lol... now that i have him in the new outfit with half his hand showing though i'd like to see if i can get a good shot of him being resummoned to see if i can see the glow. i need to try pausing and zooming in because i only have this faraway shot:

however for him to be resummoned it means he needs to die and that hurts my heart (and makes his affection go down LKDJFLADS) so i don't like doing it (but i would do it for science...)

ANYWAY. there isn't any actual explanation or lore given for it in-game besides being shown it and knowing that all pawns have this scar and it's their symbol. but ofc like so many things about this game, my head ran away with me and started coming up with many of my own head canons about the scar. mostly that i have decided it reacts to like... their connection in general. strong emotional responses between them (like when they kiss... ldkfajsldkfa). a literal symbol of genzou's internal psyche in relation to iggy and it'll flare up sometimes as a strong reaction to something about iggy, etc. i like to think that genzou gets embarrassed by it because it'll flare up if he's feeling particularly strongly LOL

i-it's just very precious to me... i think it's very sweet and cute and i love it very much...💦

I'M SORRY FOR RAMBLING I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM AND THESE SILLY HEAD CANONS LKDJFALSKDF

[coldcanadianwinters]

Bad Dog Bites and Original Bad Dog Bites!

oooooo baby okay okay SO STRAP IN FOR A LONG EXPLANATION HAHA I'll put it under a read-more bc I KINDA WENT BUCKWILD WITH THIS EXPLANATION I'M SORRY JUBES

:') I'M JUST EXCITED

To preface, I actually lied when I replied to your post first - in fact SIX of those fics are crossovers between the two Personas that I've played (4 and 5) lmfao and that includes both versions of BDB :)

Originally, the fic was supposed to take place immediately after Royal, and Akechi's alive and contacted by Sae bc my theory is that it was her officers that was escorting him back to somewhere when you catch a glimpse of him at the very end of the game through the train window. The idea was that, now that she's transitioning to being a defense lawyer, Sae's noticing a lot more of an uptick in corruption through the government, and especially noticing shit to do with the shadow world, whether that be Metaverse or otherwise. So she's bringing in the guy who's in hiding and who she can like use some leverage over (seeing as the Phantom Thieves are supposed to be disbanded now and they're going their separate ways so she can't just employ them for this) and who also has Persona powers, and ask him to help her deal with this. But she also knows that the shadow world is dangerous to deal with on its own... and I know that the government has records of Naoto having Persona powers (thank you beginning of P4 Arena lmfao - I haven't finished watching the playthrough that I found of that one tho bc I realised that P4A has so many spoilers for P3 and I don't want that yet soooo I'll just have to wait until after I play P3 to finish that vid haha), so to help him, she calls in the first Detective Prince.

The goofs and gaffs were gonna come from the fact that, if they met in canon (PQ2 doesn't count in this situation bc I haven't played it yet LMAO), they would immediately hate each other hsgfh and then they'd slowly grow to trust each other in combat, even if they do absolutely hate each other, and it would come to a head when they get surrounded, probably in the TV World bc they're gonna be bouncing back and forth between each other's worlds (and the P3 shadow world - Tartarus? - but I first gotta play that game first *squeezes my hands into fists* so) and are forced to perform a Showtime where, since both of them and their Personas can learn Megidolaon, they basically do this little theatrical show of 'hey I can do things better than you watch!' and then annihilate the surroundings and the shadows by using that move at once together. And then after that they would have to deal with the fact that hey, the other one actually is willing to work with me and keep the both of us from getting killed... huh....

I thought it was a cool idea, though like the majority of the plot is wholly obscured to me bc I didn't really have an end goal besides making Akechi eventually go back to Leblanc and see the P5 protag again, though maybe it could be something similar to P5 where they take down a major political figure? or like the lead scientist trying to use the shadows for their own evil will or something, and I also didn't have most of the middle stuff ready, just like key scenes that I'd dreamt up and stuff haha

But then the second version, which is the one just titled Bad Dog Bites now, has some different stuff going on - this time, it's 4 years after the end of P5, so Akechi's been in hiding for a while after having survived back then, and he's probably doing something but he's really secretive and on the dl about it. He doesn't want to be found by the authorities so he changes address and phone number constantly, I've written him relatively ooc rn but I'm working on fixing that lmfao, he's got some shit to deal with and he definitely doesn't want to be found by the former Phantom Thieves.

The idea is the fic opens up in Akechi's current apartment, and he's doing something at his desk that the audience isn't allowed to fully know about yet, when someone knocks on his door. He's obviously suspicious, and when he goes to peek through his peep hole and then after crack the door with the chain in, Naoto is there, and when he lets the original DP in, they explain to him (after some like banter, immediate hate bc they would hate each other hghs, and some coaxing of information) that they've been hired to help hunt him down (and though they don't say by who, Naoto was def hired by the P5 protag, but like 3-ish years ago, so instead of telling him that, Naoto tells him they were hired recently by Sae, bc that'll also technically be true).

Actually, I might add in, too, that the TV World fog was seeping into Akechi's apartment and that helped Naoto hunt him down? I think that could be interesting... and Akechi doesn't notice bc it's been a slow build, but something across Japan has been causing the walls of the TV World to thin (and maybe also the Metaverse and Tartarus bounds) and let them seep into the real world, which of course is a problem. This'll tie well into my plan for this fic too - the pair of Detective Princes get contracted to dive into the various shadow worlds at random by government agents so that scientists can test the reactions of Shadows and stuff, etc etc basically they gotta play along until they can target the head of this evil government snake organization and take it down together swiftly and effectively, giving info back to Sae for safekeeping and occasionally bumping into other major characters from the games. And at the end, they find where all three of these shadow worlds are converged and have to fight the big bad boss down there to separate Tartarus, the TV World, and the Metaverse again and also separate all three from the real world once more.

There'll be changing perspectives between Akechi's pov and Naoto's pov, changing probably either chapter to chapter or every other chapter, depending on the vibes haha, and in the end, when they do take down the big bad (both of the shadow worlds and the head organizer of this whole thing who's trying to control the shadow worlds), or maybe after, then Akechi is forced to realise that hey actually living in isolation like he had been sucks shit and makes plans to meet up with the p5 protag. Maybe he even does meet up with him, at the end of the fic, I haven't decided yet haha

I'll still be keeping the Showtime idea that I had bc ngl that scene drove a lot of my want to write this fic in the first place, though I still gotta finagle a way of making it written out as cool as it was in my head without being either over- or under-explained and flashy, idk haha, but beyond that and Naoto and Akechi forced to work together their plots were gonna be actually really different. Plus, I figured I could maybe do more with their characters, because for Akechi it's 4 years later so he's like 20-21, but for Naoto, it's been a Hot Minute since they've had to go about doing shadow world stuff I think (though maybe I'm wrong and they've been doing shadow world stuff this whole time! idk), so they're now 24-25 and Working Through It haha

Anyways! That's the whole idea 🫠 I know this was a really long reply but I just,,, I've been thinking about this fic a whole bunch haha

There's still some things I gotta tweak out still, and I gotta actually write the damned thing too, but! There ya go haha

[cagedchoices]

RELATIONSHIP META - CALEB & UWADE

In canon, Caleb first met Uwade while he was recovering in the hospital following surgery for a near-fatal gunshot wound to his abdomen. I've estimated the time he spent comatose to be about 5 weeks max, but it's possible it was a bit less than that. In a memory Caleb has during Fidelity, we learn that Uwade was the first person who saw him after he woke up and she checked over his vital signs. She began to flirt with him and from there they eventually fell in love.

Given what context we have, I headcanon that Uwade got pregnant before they were married and then Caleb married her once they found out they were expecting. It's the most logical explanation I can see for why their last conversation together happened the way it did.

We don't know anything about Caleb's father so I kinda just assume he was never in the picture and that it's a source of insecurity for Caleb because there's always going to be a what-if question that can't be answered; What if he's just like that? As well as he gets another dose of that same insecurity because his mom was mentally ill and abandoned and forgot about him, and there's the fear of what if he winds up doing the same thing to Frankie?

UWADE: So you're leaving. CALEB: Only for a little while. UWADE: You promised you'd be a father. CALEB: I am one... Everything I do is for you...and for Frankie. UWADE: You're gonna get yourself killed. CALEB: Hey, I will come back to you. I promise.

There also seemed like there was a touch of maybe-jealousy from Uwade toward Maeve, just in the way that Uwade was watching her from the bedroom window while Maeve was loading her SUV and getting ready to leave. She already knew that Caleb would jump at the chance to team up with Maeve again and go fight.

Uwade doesn't understand Caleb's trauma struggles. Her approach to helping him manage his PTSD is basically just to tell him move on and stop worrying, and that's the most un-constructive advice you could ever give to a trauma survivor. She treats it like he doesn't have anything to be depressed or anxious about solely because he has a family, a house and a job and it should be enough. She also calls him paranoid, and acts like he is consciously choosing to stay traumatized.

In the past, Caleb was often told he needed to move on without ever actually being given the tools or the freedom to actually learn how to move on and genuinely heal, because by design he wasn't supposed to. He was in a therapy program that insisted the goal was getting him to move on, but they never actually did anything other than tell him "you gotta move on."

Caleb's instinctive response to that is to sort of shut down and refuse to talk about it any further. There's no point. No one really understands except for others who have seen war up close and personal. And that was the purpose in isolating him further and further until the system predicted there would come a point where that feeling of hopelessness would reach its absolute limit and he would take his own life because of it.

When Caleb first leaves, Uwade definitely seems to feel resentful toward him specifically, such as when she found Frankie using the radio to try and make contact with him.

UWADE: Frankie, what are you doing out here? I told you we need to go back and pack. FRANKIE: I'm trying to reach Dad. UWADE: Come on, let's go inside. FRANKIE: No. I'm staying. UWADE: Carver, do you mind helping me bring some of this stuff back inside?

She didn't really acknowledge Frankie's explanation or her feelings of concern, she just went to picking stuff up, starting with Frankie's teddy bear. Later on, Frankie's sitting out on the patio and sulking, and Uwade again kind of ignores her concerns.

FRANKIE: I don't wanna go with him. I want daddy. UWADE: I know, but your father can't be here right now. So he sent Carver to help. FRANKIE: He got Bear-Bear dirty. UWADE: Fine. If you won't pack your things, then I will.

After Frankie discovers that the real Carver has been murdered and replaced by a host copy and alerts her mom with proof, this attitude changes drastically, and Uwade steps up for Caleb in a huge way.

She becomes the leader of the resistance and makes it her mission to free as many outliers as she can from Hale's world before they're hunted and killed.

UWADE: You were so brave today. You reminded me of your father. He really would've been proud. FRANKIE: It's almost time. UWADE: Go. Tell him I love him.

She doesn't ignore or invalidate Frankie's feelings this time, she tells her that she is so much like her father and that Caleb would've been so proud of her if he was around. She lets Frankie try to establish radio communications with him, even though I think she figures he had to have been killed to be kept away from them for so long.

For Caleb, when Frankie tells him what happened to Uwade, it's a harsh blow for his cognition and it threatens to destabilize him even faster than he's already breaking down. His hands are shaking so badly he's having trouble threading a needle.

FRANKIE: You can ask, you know. CALEB: Ask about what? FRANKIE. Mom... Cancer. Wouldn't have mattered even if you had made it back. She hung in there for as long as she could... She had a mission. Everyone that wasn't infected, or who woke up and got out, owes that to mom. She carried your torch. CALEB: Your mother was...extraordinary. FRANKIE: So were you.

But then he's able to center himself using the love he has for his family. Uwade may be long gone physically, but her memory lives on through his own recollection and more importantly, through Frankie.

[thechaosmuses]

Hey everyone.. I really have no idea where to start this and considering I'm babysitting my friends two kids atm it might be a little scattered but I need to get this off my chest while it's on my mind cause otherwise I'll forget.

I wanna start off by saying that I am really, really sorry for just disappearing on you guys for over a month. That was 100% not my intention but life just kept knocking me on my ass. I've had some health stuff, physical and mental, going on as well as just personal life stuff. With all of that I just haven't been in the headspace to roleplay and I didn't want to come on here and give you guys a half-assed version of myself and my muses. And I'm finally starting to get muse back thanks to my darlin' in the Discord server.

Secondly, I am gonna be busier than I was before I left as I'm not only babysitting my 9-year-old sister when my parents need but also my best friend's kids a few times a week since she was having issues with her old babysitter. I'll let you guys know in advance what my weekly schedule is gonna look like so you'll know when I'll have time to be on.

Thirdly, I am gonna go ahead and just delete everything in my ask box and drafts and start fresh because I feel like that's the easiest way to go about this but if there's any specific thread or plot you'd like to continue please let me know and I'd be happy to pick it back up or restart it. Also if you don't wish to rp with me at all anymore that's completely understandable. If you do though I promise I will be better at answering things and all that.

Fourthly, I have some more muses I'll be adding later once I'm home, mostly OC's but there's some canon as well. Also you may have noticed the theme change, it's kinda an Anti-Valentine's day thing and I'm just gonna keep most of my Google Docs things the old colors since they take a while to change and this theme probably won't be around for long after V-Day-

And lastly, I just wanna apolgize again for disappearing with basically no explanation. I really had no intention of doing that but as the days went on I just started getting bad anxiety about coming back and was worried y'all would be upset with me, which I'm sure some of you might be or are but I promise things are gonna be different this time. And if for some reason I need a break or whatnot I will be sure to let you guys know.

I think that's all I wanted to say, I've got about an hour and a half or so left of babysitting and then once I get home and unwind and eat I'll be ready to dive back on here. I hope everyone is having a great day/night and I promise I'll see you all soon 🖤

[devitalization]

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ ꒰ original character.txt now available ꒱

that said, i would like to introduce my gamedec to you guys! details are still work-in-progress and subject to change, but it is the character i did a video playthrough with, so what is canon within the series (via that playthrough; i did change the name for my youtube, though) is canon to it...

and yes, my gamedec uses it/its pronouns.

featured above are its official appearance (what i would consider its net avatar), and its alternate appearance (what i would consider its real world appearance)

this is lutz rosenhain. it is a former doctor who comes from low city. however, circumstances with its work and interpersonal life have led lutz to pursue more lucrative work behind the scenes. this is how it became a gamedec. a more expanded summary is as follows:

꒰ lutz was born in low city, the slums. cramped housing, inadequate resources, synthetic light, etc etc. it was a street doctor for the longest time, working in the low city clinics and rendering what aid was possible in these environments. lutz had to "get with the times", and began to indulge in hacking/tech stuff on the side. integrated some into the medical aspect of things, then ultimately went freelance when the clinic it worked at shut down due to funding and resource issues. it saved up enough to move to the mid city, where it became a game dec and kinda got a start-up going there. ꒱

now living higher up in the polis, lutz is still very much an outsider. its eccentric sense of style and reserved personality make it an intriguing individual. talkative, but not cordial. formal, to a "surprising" degree. lutz much prefers speaking in professional circles than those that are more interpersonal and intimate, and as such keeps everyone at an arm's distance. more commentary from when i was explaining its character to a friend:

꒰ the cases in the actual game are like… the breakthroughs. lutz has done some prior, but the first case with mr. haggis and his son are like, the cases that break the glass ceiling.

then the plot just kinda goes from there. lutz helps mr. haggis' son, then helping solve the whole thing with the nanette foundation and the orphan kids, then poor ken dying and the hon clan… and the can of worms that all opens. ꒱

some miscellaneous facts include:

during the investigation, whilst at twisted and perverted (t&p), lutz allowed umbra to engage in some… kinky interrogation. it was very much into the knifeplay and codeplay, and as such would have likely been a recurring visitor to the game world before the investigation.

and more in-depth plot points / explanations are below the "read more", as it contains spoilers for the game.

this summary was taken from discord messages between me and another, so bear with any spelling issues:

꒰ these breakthrough cases just fuckin,, get so dark

the first one is bad enough, with this billionaire's son (who, like his father, has a nice problem of molesting staffers) getting lost in a game world dedicated to bdsm and other taboo interests, stuck in a loop of his own creation (fucking and eviscerating a hooker) by a mysterious third party entity.

and then the second case is like "oh, this won't be so bad. it's a cute farming game". wrong! the in-game sheriff is an older teenager who "liberated" a bunch of fellow orphans from the nanette foundation (a place to give houseless children resources and education through tech) to practically drug them, enslave them, and grind this game so they could turn real world profit by selling off accounts.

then ken is like "hey, chief, i've got my own thing going on, can you help me?" and you agree. and then you end up going to the meeting spot the next day only to find ken dead from an apparent suicide, which turns out to be a murder.

then! then! as you're investigating into it, not only do you almost die by getting jumped and shot, but you have to negotiate a hostage situation as one of ken's old allies short circuits people's game chairs and fries them alive.

and then!!! as you think "okay, what the fuck", you end up going into the hon clan's base of operations (the people who effectively had ken killed), infiltrate their ranks, and get sucked into this empty voice of a simulation that, surprise! turns out to be the bridge between reality and virtualium. there is no "real world", and you meet a previous iteration of yourself: 314.

because there have been 2 resets since the actual investigation into all this began. 314 started it, risked going through the new cycle, and fragmented himself into the code of dozens of people hoping someone would pick up his trail. it apparently happened, because you have 315 (who holds no significance, really) then you. you are 316.

and you can either ally with him (to tear it all down and try to fix things), ally with jester (a representative of an admin collective working for the corporation upholding this simulation), or work in your own self interest.

and it's cool because it is so reminiscent of the relationship v and johnny (note: cyberpunk 2077) have. 314 will, if you protest enough, take control of your body and force you to an objective. he will chime in and express his upset. he will offer solutions. and you can do your best to shut him up or hear him out.

so you may be thinking "oh? so is 314 just you?"

yes and no, because while you are a result of his line of resets, you lived vastly different lives. 314 is torkil! and given its background and personality do draw inspiration from the earlier iteration (314; or torkil aymore), it and 314 are alike. however, the two definitely have their differences and often bump heads while trying to navigate the case at their feet.

ultimately, though, lutz does accept the offer 314 provides and decides to do what is best for the others who find themselves stuck in this sick game. ꒱

[tartrazeen]

So! The magic. :3

I had an interesting think about this, and it covered a few steps at once.

First, I started imagining one of the 'earlier' episodes where the others find out Angus is a changeling at all (and I remembered how to spell 'changeling' 🥲). It was super angsty and turned into one of those "Angus and Rohan endlessly trying to sacrifice themselves for each other" fests. Dramatic and spectacular, really enjoyed it and I'll explain later, but ultimately not what I wanted to go for. It got 'too serious.' And with everything else I've written, me saying, "It's too serious" should sound like the ominous teaser I meant it as.

Next, I came up with a much less angsty version. I started thinking, "Hey, if everything's going immediately to hell, shouldn't there be - like... help from everyone?" Because in the first version, I was picturing even Cathbad being on the 'wrong' side. That seemed out-of-character, because surely for Rohan's sake, Cathbad would've been faster at intervening. Then I thought that was out-of-character too, because even with the mildly antagonistic relationship Cathbad and Angus sometimes have, Cathbad does care about him and has known him for years. So for Angus' sake, Cathbad should've intervened sooner. Then I took it to its logical conclusion and went, "Oh right, Cathbad has visions lmao, he could've had some way to predict this shit before any of it hit the fan." Duh-doy. Sorry, Cathbad. Anyway, that one's closer to the 'official' headcanon-canon I'm going with.

I had a third thought about the others coming across a completely separate changeling (before they found out about Angus) who'd been caught by the family she was trying to sneak into. I liked it, and it formed a wonderful parallel with how Angus and Rohan would stay friends post-reveal - and on the angsty side, a demonstration of how the general public reacts to changelings: drown them in a well.

That, plus the second scenario, morphed into my fourth idea about the magic a changeling would have in this setting. I did some basic googling about changelings, because I didn't want to butcher this, but the way I'm steering it is going to be the meat of this post. I'll talk about the first three ideas in the next one. :)

The magic comes down to two core facts: one from the show, and one from my headcanon. :3

In the show, like I've said before, Angus doesn't do much magic. Not no magic, 'cause that's what glued me onto this idea. But he's not going around summoning monsters or flying or casting fireballs. In other ideas where I give Angus magic, I either make the impact so small that it's easily explained as something that's been happening and folks simply haven't noticed, or so BIG that there's a reason he can't/won't use it. So being a changeling was frustrating 'cause it's right in the middle of those two points.

And a third point: I want Angus to have magic of his own, because the easy answer to explain why we haven't see it - one that some versions of changelings go with - is once they fully establish themselves as a human, their magic evaporates. Which is lame as hell. So I'm not doing that. And the part of the folklore I'm cherrypicking (sorry 😔) to bolster that is how sometimes the changelings will swap back.

Humans are told to care for their changeling child and treat it well, because whatever's done to it will be done to their real child in the fairy realm. But sometimes it also gets the fairies to think, "Oh yay! You did a good job making that fairy grow up okay! We kinda thought it was a goner rofl. We'll be taking it back now plz uwu" or "Wow, it's been a great time being raised by this family. But I've had my fill or I'd just like to be a fairy again, so byeeeee here's your original kid back byeeeee."

I'm tackling it here as a mix of reduced magic and changeling culture that I'm inventing in the show. As always (not that anyone would be), please don't take this as an accurate explanation of what changelings do. Go read up about them! :)

What I mean by reduced magic ties into how the fairies we get in this show tie their power to their size. We only see it once, but it gets a whole episode: The King of Temra, where Mider becomes big. (Also I saw someone spell Mider with an 'e,' not an 'a,' so just until I look into that, I'm gonna use an 'e' for a bit.) Mider's the only fairy who gets to that size while staying magical. Aideen deliberately trades her magic away as payment, becoming human and de-powered, and Fin Varra gives his to Conchobar when they rule each other's kingdoms for a day. But the immediate understanding in Mider's case is, "Holy shit! He's big! And his powers directly scaled up with that!"

To sorta marry that to the version of changelings who lose their magic entirely, I'm gonna flip it around: as changelings get bigger, it takes more magic to do the same amount shapeshifting, so their powers scale down in size.

In my mind with the first post, these changelings looked like feral children with sharp teeth (I'll get back to that), claws, and pointy ears. They act like feral children too. I guess I'm picturing Spider from Avatar 2: Electric Bluegaloo, who was the white human kid running around with white-person-dreadlocks? That. Changelings seem to be anywhere from five to maybe eight years old, and they don't usually get bigger than being waist-high compared to an average human adult.

Shapeshifting for them is different from the elves and pixies we see, too. Those guys can change into objects (like rocks) or animals (like mice). The changelings only shift into other humanoids. They don't need to change their whole body if they only want to alter a limb or two, but when a changeling is big, that's a lot more of a body or a limb to manipulate. It isn't impossible, but it's like running down the block to go to a store versus a half-marathon. I don't think they're stuck with only duplicating things their own size, though. There are a few rare stories of changelings taking the places of adults, so let's call it a "I'm not as young as I used to be" situation.

For their culture, I like the idea that changelings are wild with shapeshifting. It's fun for them to move things around or scramble someone's face up as a prank, like kids who were playing with mud. But when a changeling is dedicated to taking the place of a human, they suddenly get meticulous about their appearance. They can't go with any look. It has to be the right look. They're suddenly sculptors working with clay that's meant to harden into a statue - which makes them a laughing stock to the others for taking it so seriously, since they can reshape that clay, but they're being pretentious about nobody else touching their mastercraft Play-Doh. But it makes sense to the changeling that'll be swapping. When they make their trade, it's a patient acceptance that this is their form forever. They'll age and evolve like a human does, but they won't be smashing things up on a whim just to have to sculpt it back to what they made the first time. They're 'growing up,' thank you very much.

So that should make it 'normal' for Angus to never openly use his magic. For one thing, he can't casually shapeshift into somebody else. It's a lot of work, and not like a flipping a switch. He has to physically craft his face and form into a different person, and then mould it back to how he normally looks when he's done. The magical nature of it means the part that is like flipping a switch is when he 'unlocks his edit mode.' That has to be a conscious choice or he'd have a different face after every fight. And as long as he's seen the person he's going to copy, he can always turns his face into that, so no worries about 'losing' his normal one. But again, being bigger means working with a larger canvas, and the details are so much more visible, and the 'clay' needs to be softened up every time 'cause it was purposely left out to be air-dried...

And then culturally, he - just... doesn't want to. He's looks good, and he's supposed to dump that to look like something else? He picked this face, he mastered it, how would you like to get plastic surgery every time someone said, "Wear a disguise" on a whim?

Another level to that cultural part is how the face he picked is the face of the human kid he stole to swap places with. Before he swapped, he needed to perfect every detail he could, or else he wouldn't blend in with his new family. So as a shape-artist, it's outright shameful to still look like a changeling. It's more reason why the ones who aren't swapping go out of their way to ridicule the swappers - especially the ones who return: "I thought you were too good to be a changeling. Not good enough to pass as a human though, huh? 😏"

This is why failures like Angus don't return if they can't trick their family. It's mortifying to have so thoroughly rejected the very nature of what a changeling is, but to meekly return and admit to the others that you couldn't? And the very few who tried probably set the standard for how openly they got picked apart. That would've led to everyone who swapped staying away forever, even if they failed, so then it would seem like no one ever failed anymore, 'cause no one ever returned to say so. Now when it happens, that changeling has to admit they were wrong and be the first to admit it in probably hundreds of years? Never.

So they don't come back.

And as they live out the rest of their life, they don't ever, ever do anything that looks like they aren't human. Maybe they weren't a perfect copy, but they'll still pass as a human to strangers. It's the only hope they have left to cling to.

This all leads into my second core fact - the one that's from my headcanon. And it's important, 'cause it shapes how the other Mystic Knights find out and how much magic Angus might start to use in front of them.

And that fact is...

... Rohan knows.

'Knows'.

Air quotes included.

The headcanon across all my takes on Angus having magic is that Rohan's always - at the very least - suspected as much. Specifically, he's hoped it's true. He doesn't ever bring it up or ask, 'cause how ridiculous would "Are you a fairy?" sound, but - like...

... idk he thinks it'd be pretty cool...

and rohan's always liked fairies so...

But since he can't ask, and since (if he was right - not that he was) Angus obviously had a reason for hiding it from him, Rohan's simply been making mental notes for his fan theory about his friend.

He's grown up passing it off as a silly kid thing. Obviously Angus isn't a fairy, and Rohan's taking that daydream to his grave. He does think it's funny how much lines up to have given a kid that misunderstanding, but again, only a kid would think that. Not a man. Which Rohan is. He's very manly. Cathbad said so.

Like (after googling it), there's the fact that Angus is always after food. Growing up, starving together, Angus did work hard to keep them fed. I have a story about how far it went without Rohan even realizing, but within what he does remember, he'd often have to fight Angus over the last scraps they had. Angus would try to give it to Rohan, Rohan would want to split it, Angus would say there wasn't enough to split, Rohan would say that Angus should have it then, and Angus would try to trick or force Rohan into just eating the damn food. It was desperate, but kind. And it mattered so much more when he knows how often Angus would talk about their next meal. And it was normal, because they were starving. Angus didn't have to be a fairy for that.

... But to imagine Angus was a fairy? Secretly, it made the sacrifice even more amazing. If Rohan ever had to tell the truth, then yes, there'd been a few times he refused to eat because he didn't want a fairy to starve. He didn't think he'd be cursed for it, but it didn't seem right. He wasn't going to say that though, since it's embarrassing he let himself be so convinced.

Then there's how Angus has always liked gold and jewels and such. Of course he did! They were poor. They needed that gold to get food and everything else, so obviously Angus would obsess over it. And... sure, gold was a pretty colour. Rohan wasn't so attached to the look that he'd snap his head around after catching a glimpse of it, or mourn for a day or two because he 'missed' the gems he'd... 'found,' and traded for bread. So Angus didn't need to be a fairy for that either.

... But being a fairy would make the obsession inescapable. Angus did dumb things all the time, and some of that was from trying to risk himself to get extra gold they didn't strictly need, but that Angus didn't want to leave behind. Rohan wouldn't go so far as saying that being a fairy would make it all better, as if he hadn't been terrified when Angus got hauled away or beaten when he got caught. But it made the quirk feel more... endearing, he supposed. Troublesome, but out of an innocent love for it, not a malicious greed. Those led to the same destination, but Rohan liked the fairy's journey more.

And then there was Rohan himself. He never like to question why Angus liked him; in the end, Rohan was grateful no matter what the reason was. But they would have their fights the same as any friends, and Angus would sometimes leave. Rohan would just have to sit and hope it wasn't forever. Over winter, with Rohan in the castle and Angus somewhere else, he'd also have to hope that when spring came, Angus hadn't forgotten him. There, Rohan's fantastical belief worked against him. Fairies moved on a lot, didn't they? And they took any insult as a grievous offence? Whenever those moments happened, Rohan would be left in a wake of terror that he'd finally gone too far, and Angus was never coming back.

He did. Sooner or later, Angus always returned, and would have practically forgotten there'd been a fight. And he always showed up in the spring, bored and hungry and ready for Rohan to be a fix for both. None of it relied on being a fairy. Humans got offended too, and Kells had hard winters. Rohan wouldn't have blamed him for leaving.

... But it was how Angus would come back. That he would. Over and over. Without any reason for it outside of a shrug and a lazy, "Why wouldn't I?"

Fine. They'd been friends for long enough. Why wouldn't he?

But it glossed over how they'd made it that far to start with.

When they met, Rohan was unconscious and pinned under a tree in a forest. It wasn't normal for boys to be running through those woods alone. Rohan... well, he wasn't the most 'normal' of boys anyway. It wasn't too odd that it happened to him.

But why was Angus there?

Surely a hunter or some sort of adult should've been the one to find him. Someone with a purpose for passing through. But it was Angus, who had no reason to be wandering a forest at all.

Rohan had an answer. The official explanation was that Angus had been running away. It made sense.

But it was so convenient, wasn't it?

Then for Angus to have noticed Rohan under the leaves that the storm had blown around...

Normally anything that meant walking more would put Angus right off of it. But just this once, he'd gone out of his way to see what was in the leaves? What had even caught his attention? Rohan had been motionless on the ground, and he'd been six. Angus once handwaved it as luck, before joking that Rohan's hair looked a little bit like gold. And that was enough for human eyes to spot him in there? His hair?

He didn't have much reason to argue it. But on the other hand, gold-coloured hair seemed like exactly the thing that would draw a fairy over.

But then - after all of this - to choose to keep Rohan around? There'd been dozens of times where Rohan asked what Angus liked about him, and Angus would say that Rohan was always up to something fun. But in the dirt, in the forest, unconscious and under a tree - was that fun enough to explain why Angus let Rohan join him? Was it such an interesting set of circumstances that Angus had to take care of them both, purely to see what Rohan would do next if he managed to live for that long?

They all had reasonable, non-magical explanations. As Rohan got older, Angus' answers never changed. On their own, they didn't seem suspicious. Maybe Angus could wonder the same about him: why would Rohan be in a forest alone if he wasn't a fairy himself?

But.

Taken together.

Angus liked gold and jewels.

Angus adored food.

Angus would always sing to himself - and to Rohan, when Rohan was sick.

Angus was always playing tricks. Angus would sneak into places he shouldn't. Angus would charm everyone for favours. Angus could never resist a joke. Angus was endlessly, endlessly drawn to magic.

It didn't 'prove' anything. And Rohan was - definitively - too old to think it would. Some people simply acted a bit more like fairies than others. None of it's impossible for humans.

The feeling in Rohan about this certainly tamped down when they entered Tir Na Nog. Here they were, among the Little People, and none of them were claiming Angus as their own. It was at the bottom of his revelations from that day, but it was there. If Rohan wanted proof, he had it: Angus had to be human. Of course.

It wouldn't change their friendship, and Rohan would have never fooled himself so badly to feel disappointed. If anything, he could double down on his gratitude for Angus being the only human in the world to understand him. That made it more impressive, didn't it? No fairy magic. No fairy rules. No fairy debt or reward. Just two friends who met in the strangest of places, then stuck together through everything the world threw their way.

Perhaps, for fun, he remembers his childish theory now and then. Angus might do something or laugh in a certain way, and Rohan understands why the thought had once consumed him. Angus always has had a way of filling others with life, and how else could Rohan explain it? Knowing real and honest fairies made it even plainer to see that if Angus had been one of them, he would've still stood out. Everyone in Tir Na Nog loved food and gold and dancing, but that didn't make them like Angus.

In the end, Rohan's proud to say it doesn't matter.

But he doesn't see the harm in listening to Angus hum while they make dinner, and still pretending it's a spell to make the water boil faster.

Or when he ropes Angus into gathering herbs with him for Cathbad, pretending the trick he played to bring Angus along - one that made Angus grin but swear to get Rohan back for it - was a perfectly normal way to invite a fairy out for chores.

Or when the hazelnuts are ready and he gives Angus a bowl, pretending it was only fairy teeth that could crack the shells by biting them.

(That last one had its own story. Angus asked him once why Rohan didn't use his teeth. He didn't want to say he'd tried and hurt himself, so Rohan mumbled something about doing it like they did at the castle. Angus laughed and called him fancy. But he stopped biting them open, too. Rohan always felt bad about that, though he wasn't sure he knew why. He even asked Angus why he stopped. Angus said he didn't remember biting them open in the first place, and the embarassment of Rohan not guessing they'd probably all been partially cracked already was a healthy reminder for why Rohan would never dare to ask, "Are you a fairy?" He couldn't handle the blaze of common sense it would set off.)

:3

>:3

So.

For the changelings, I want them to have claws because I think it helps them look more unique. The Tir Na Nog fairies and elves don't really have them. Mider does, and he's supposed to be evil, and I like the claws as that same visual shortcut to saying someone isn't inherently friendly (at a minimum, the changelings' idea of friendliness is like Tir Na Nog's idea of beauty. Poor Deirdre). It also seems like it'd be practical for them as feral hellions climbing everywhere, and even for their face-sculpting and shapeshifting. Like chisels, maybe.

Their ears, I think should be pointy 'cause all the fae in this show have it like that. It's literally only humans who have round ones. So it's for the sake of tradition, I guess.

I don't really wanna do anything to their eyes. It seems like overkill, and maybe a little try-hard.

:3

The teeth.

The teeth are their signature.

I'm probably patting myself on my back too hard about how 'subtle' I was, since it wasn't subtle at all (😔). That's partly because it's the one I elaborated on and partly because have you ever tried to bite a fuckin' hazelnut

I hope it came through, but what that little aside was supposed to be about was what do you mean Angus can bite open a hazelnut

Like with his teeth?

A hazelnut?

(and I was gonna go, ":3c tee-hee" but this post isn't done yet so if you wanna go back and see if you can figure out what happened in that, this would be the time. Spoilers in 3, 2, 1)

I want these teeth:

Not cute little fangs. I want teeth where if you put your finger in there, it's gonna come off like you stuck it in a bear trap.

I want zero chance of saying, "Wow, that human has oddly sharp canines!"

I want 100%, "What the fuck is that"

You see a little kid in a forest and you miss the claws and the ears? You aren't missing these teeth.

Now lemme ask: how closely are you looking at the back molars in your friends' mouths?

You can see the nice, flat, square teeth at the front when they talk, right? Super noticeable!

You'll see the ones on either side of the canines when you're smiling at each other.

But even if you see their back teeth when their mouths are open, are you specifically seeing square molars, or are you just registering that there are teeth and then not being weird about it past that?

Because my thinking is changelings, in the midst of copying their target, don't quite realize they need to change all their teeth. They only see the ones in the front. The successful swappers will either do their homework once they've lured the kid closer to take a look, or get away with it until they realize their mistake and make an adjustment before their family notices.

Angus is not a successful changeling, remember?

And I apologize for my ignorance, but I'm not sure "crackin' hazelnuts with besties" is a regular past-time for people. Which means two things:

Angus didn't know humans can't chew through hazelnut shells like carrots. Maybe he knew they couldn't use their dumb front teeth, but he assumed everybody had the same back molars as changelings.

Rohan didn't know humans can't chew through hazelnut shells like carrots. This poor kid just thought he had dumb, weak teeth, but didn't want to admit it to the obvious human in front of him who wasn't struggling at all.

Once that point was made, Angus uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stopped using his teeth for that. I'm pretty sure he fixed his teeth right after, and I'm sure he was pissed at having these basic-ass baby chompers, but he fixed them and then denied ever doing what he was CLEARLY doing, and Rohan finished the job by rationalizing it in his head as, "Oh, those hazelnuts must have been pre-cracked." 'Cause "sure, let's go with that! :D"

I love it. Here's Rohan systematically going through all the circumstantial evidence for why Angus might've been a fairy - based mostly on vibes - and throwing away the one objective piece he ever got.

The last thing I'll say about these changelings' magic is what specific gifts they have. It's - as I said - lame as hell for Angus not to have his own magic, but he's not going to suddenly start face-swapping or being an ultra master of disguise. I don't want to lose his personality by being too powerful.

But if he can't shapeshift, what other stuff can changelings do? I looked around - the list is short. Claws and teeth? That's fairly common among fae creatures. And I already took Angus' claws away from him, because we see him in the episode with the dragon egg: he uses a knife to cut through the grass and dig a hole. Same thing when he's captured in the wish episode: he uses a sharp rock to cut himself loose. He's not a biter either, so I've also taken away his teeth. It's why I put in the part about having a cultural reason to not use those: he doesn't want to look like a changeling. And he's never been in a position without a tool to replace his claws, because he's resourceful enough to gather those tools or he's somewhere that claws wouldn't even make a difference (like when Maeve captures him in the early episodes). It all works.

Tracking? Pickpocketing? Lockpicking? He can do those things on his own.

So...?

:/

Look - this was the other reason I wasn't on board when Schimmelspore first said Angus could be a changeling. My imagination doesn't have a ton of practise with shapeshifting, and that's on me. My bad. Listening and learning.

So since I've decided to be weirdly specific about what he won't do, I have to come up with what he will do... eventually. I don't think he'd start to do it overnight, but maybe, if the others prove they're okay with him being a changeling (and they have DECADES of internalized convictions to overcome in that regard), he might do something in an emergency situation that doesn't leave him feeling too non-human for long. And with enough positive reinforcement, he might start doing it more often (setting up for an episode where he's doing it so much that it finally makes him panic and freak out).

Here's my idea: magical muscle memory.

(i know but give me a minute)

Angus isn't going to change his whole body. But in the episode where Mider got big, Cathbad threw a powder at Angus right after to see if he was human. To me, idk, that seems like quite a specific powder to have on hand. How often are non-humans appearing as humans that Cathbad has it in a bowl right beside him?

What makes better sense is that it's a powder to break an enchantment or an illusion. It's not testing if something's human, but if it's presenting itself as what it really is. This might be the same stuff he sprinkled on the fairy-dog in the episode where Fin Varra went missing, and maybe even on Deirdre to reverse the petrification (which didn't work, because she had been genuinely turned to stone).

So Angus passes the test, because he doesn't have an illusion up; this is what he is. It's the difference between wearing stilts to be tall versus growing until you're actually tall, and then having a powder thrown on you called "Delete Stilts": one of those scenarios is not going to produce results, even if you used magic to make both of them happen. It might even be why no other fairy clocks him as fae. For all intents and purposes, he's a human. But he could change back to not being one if he wanted to.

The general limitation of shapeshifters is that they can't copy someone they haven't seen. It's not a universal rule, but it's good one to keep them from being overpowered. Taking that, and the bit where I said changelings can change parts of their body, let's imagine a scenario to see how the muscle memory plays out:

Angus breaks into Cathbad's chamber. He knows what Cathbad's like, and he's trying to find a particular powder to abscond with. He doesn't shapeshift into Cathbad, but he is able to change enough inside of himself to copy Cathbad's general instincts. Ten he thinks to himself, "If I were Cathbad, where would I turn in this room to put a powder that makes you brave?" And when he lets his new muscle memory turn him around, he's facing a specific cabinet full of powders. Good enough for him! He goes over and finishes searching it himself, and sure enough, that's where the powder was (or at least where it would've been if Cathbad hadn't purposely filled it with a note to taunt him for needing it 🙃 if he wanted that, angus could've just gone back to the other changelings).

See? Magical muscle memory: phase 1. And it's the sort of magical effect that a show in the 90s could film by having the actor go, "🤔 okay i'm thinkiiiing... i'm using my power but you just can't see it... okay here's the answer 🙂 i'm facing the direction or walking towards the thing hidden in this room."

And because it's only for people Angus has actually met before, he can't use it in every single scenario. If we bump it up to only people he's studied, you get to use it in all the recurring villains' lairs (and poor Cathbad's room) but never on their first appearance. Probably not if they've hidden their identity, either. It's mostly for hijinks, and it's likely the only magic Angus has been using.

Magical Muscle Memory Phase 2 gets into those sweet, sweet 90s special effects. This is the stuff the others would have to gently build him up to. There'd need to be so much trust involved, because - again - he's not even using his claws when he's by himself. He wouldn't do this in front of other people if it wasn't desperately needed, and he'd go down with the ship if he didn't think he could trust those people anyway.

Here, he actually changes his hands into someone else's hands. Or arms - whatever, he wears long sleeves most of the time. But by doing that, it's not a 'vibe' anymore. It's the actual muscle memory of that person.

How does it help?

Oh I dunno, maybe you want to recreate a potion somebody once made, or find the exact bottle on the shelf that has the antidote.

Maybe you need to unlock something with a combination rather than a key. Maybe your best friend's an idiot who keeps accepting random duels, and there's no better practice than sparring someone who can use a sword exactly like their opponent can (but not any weapon their opponent hasn't used in front of them yet, so you better hope the duel is with a sword 👀).

Maybe you need to forge a king's royal handwriting :3

I'd like to think these are applications that Angus has never tried, or straight-up forgot were possibilities because it's been so long - or because he so completely cut himself off from his powers to commit himself to his human appearance. Either way, it'd let the others come up with ideas for Angus, and that in and of itself might show enough support for who he is to convince him to try it.

And how would a show from the 90s film this? :D

By getting the other character's actor to wear the sleeves and then only focusing on their hands. Or getting the other character's actor to just put their arm beside him, so Angus' torso still looks like him, but the arm and hand is the other person's. Or superimposing the other actor's arm onto Vincent Walsh's arm - depends on the budget! Go crazy! But it'll be the adorable, slightly hokey effect we all love from the shows in that era.

Magical Muscle Memory Phase 3 would be actual shapeshifting. He's not doing that.

But Angus and Rohan are gonna have a long conversation about where he stands on gills 🤔

Ooh, I'm havin' a thought.

Back to Fae!Angus, right?

Schimmelspore said something like this ages ago, that Angus as a fae could've been a changeling. Now at the time, I was thinking, "I'm not sure how that would work, especially when Rohan seems to be the better fit for it" - y'know, because Rohan has a brother (who could've been the changeling) with actual demon blood.

But like

I'm thinking now

Maybe I was being too simple about it. Or overcomplicating it or something. 🤔

Because now it seems totally obvious: Angus as the changeling that took the place of whatever human child it was.

I guess it's because I've been rereading all these threads? And one core piece of my headcanon I've always kept is how Angus first encounters Rohan by finding the kid knocked out in the middle of a forest. I don't know why it's such a vivid image in my mind - Angus hovering over Rohan as Rohan wakes up, being the first thing he sees as the world comes back into focus - but it is. The part that must've been throwing me off is how they would get there.

Rohan doesn't mention where he was before they met, which stands out, because he talks about never knowing his real family all the time. But again, I'm overthinking it: wherever he was, he wasn't with his 'real' family. And because he's obviously willing to settle down after Cathbad gives him a bed, wherever he'd been before must've been shitty enough that Rohan needed to get away from them.

So, Occam's Razor of clichés: probably a horrible orphanage. Assuming orphanages existed back then - it could've been a shitty farm that took kids in as free labour, and had the older kids raising the younger ones as future free labour. That gives me a reason for why anyone would be taking care of a baby, why Rohan knew it wasn't his real home, and why he eventually left: it sucked.

It doesn't explain that "You were stolen from me" line from Maeve very well, though. The reason I thought the changeling idea applied to him better was the 'bad deal' angle I could work in with that: Maeve traded Rohan for a monster she could use for a weapon, thought she'd been tricked into only getting a half-demon, and couldn't get a refund. 'Stolen.' Or just outright targeted by changelings and stolen that way, but 'stolen' in that sense implies a sort of "You took my baby :(" grief. Maeve isn't grieving Rohan. It's more "Hey, you ripped me off >:( I overpaid" energy.

But I'll figure out what that means later. 🤔 Whatever kind of deal Maeve made must've ended with Rohan getting taken away and dumped somewhere loveless (for him to want to leave) but loving enough for him to be fed and cared for as a useless baby. Exploitative child labour farm works for that.

The other option is, "A very nice family took me in but they all died :(" or "They were nice but I felt my destiny calling me." I could see the show picking one of those (because why would it pick Child Labour Farm), but they sound like cop-outs. Why wouldn't Rohan ever mention that family, then? To me, he doesn't bring up where he used to live either because he doesn't remember (which is what my old Fae!Angus idea was going for), or he hates them and doesn't think they're worth talking about (Child Labour Farm).

Anyway, it's important for me to sort that out in my head 'cause it clears the way to talk about Angus. Why was Rohan in the forest that day? Deliberately leaving or escaping where he was.

So why was Angus there?

I've talked about how Angus never mentions wanting to know who his family is, and how I take it as proof that he already knows. As in, Angus isn't an orphan. He's a runaway. I'm picturing a similar kind of thing as what I just described for Rohan, except this was Angus' actual family: awful, shitty, abusive, so eventually, he left. And as he wanders around, he finds Rohan.

Putting a Fae lens on it it still ends up working. Maybe even a little better? Maybe it's more grimly ironic? Because Angus doesn't mention wanting to know his family, but Rohan does, and Angus never seems bothered by that. He doesn't call it wishful thinking or a waste of thinking. Like, I'd imagine someone who ran from an abusive home saying, "Be careful what you wish for, Rohan. You might find your family and hate them. Trust me, it happens." But the closest he gets is getting mad at Rohan for placing Lugad, his blood half-brother, above the family he's been raised by. Like he's saying - well, he does say it: "You'd trust that monster out there more than the family that raised you?" It's focused on behaviour. If Lugad had been super chill from the beginning, Angus probably wouldn't've been so hostile about it.

I'm getting ahead of myself lmao

Back it up: what am I picturing here?

Fae!Angus. The fairy version, before he goes into the human world. I dunno how old he is, but from what I read in other books, he's still gonna be able to think like a child even if he's lived for longer than that. Sort of a Peter Pan situation, where he and the others never grow up.

He sees others doing their swaps. He sees the human kids come in and eventually become fairies as well when the magic passes into them: they're eating the food, they're in the realm, it all completes the transformation.

Eventually, he gets curious and goes to see what humans are like, and he finds a family he slowly gets attached to from afar. They seem nice. And nice in a way where he's beginning to understand why other fairies were making their own trades; he wants to be a part of this.

The longer he spends among his kind - loud, tricky, squabbling, childish imps - the more he wants to move on to that soft, warm home and be loved. He mulls it over for what could be ages, but eventually decides to do it.

Angus makes the trade.

It's easy. The human kid doesn't take much to lure away, and he's helped capture enough kids as part of other fairies' lures that he knows how excited everyone is to join and help. In the meantime, Angus uses his magic to become that human's perfect twin.

Except...

Well, it's still Angus. The job gets done but there are a few details missing. Maybe Angus (being so pretty in the show 👀💖) thought he'd be - like, a better-looking version of the kid as an upgrade for his new parents. Or maybe he just missed making a change or two because he didn't think it would matter. Either way, there's something ever, ever so slightly 'off.'

The family can tell. They're stupid humans, so it isn't right away. But they notice something's strange and make little comments to each other about it. Angus can hear and realizes he's gotta fix those mistakes: ears, nose, eyebrows, whatever they're guessing might be 'it,' he adjusts during the night.

But he's still 'off.'

The family starts getting tense. Then angry. First at each other, for being so lost in crazed paranoia. Then at him, for having something wrong with him. Then at each other again, for suggesting they do something about it. No matter what he changes now, he can't kill their suspicion. What he has killed is any hope of the home he made this trade for.

... So he leaves.

Just like that.

I mean, Rohan says it too: "When there's trouble, Angus is gone." Why wouldn't it already be a habit? There's trouble at this home, so he leaves it.

And maybe he's wandering back to his own kind again, or maybe he's wandering aimlessly. That second one would be interesting, as if he's not allowed to go back after he makes the trade. Like it's sink or swim out there, and even if the family you joined tries to kill you, it's no reason to go back to the other fairies. They don't live as a 'family' that way. There's no unconditional love or acceptance, which was what drew Angus into this swap in the first place.

But while he's on the move, he cuts through a forest and gets distracted from his thoughts (and rage and grief and embarrassment)... by some ginger kid knocked on his ass in the middle of this place. He goes to check it out, hovering over that kid's head, which is when Rohan starts to open his eyes.

What I like is how it fits in with the show, recontextualizing some of it. When Rohan says in the wish episode that he'd use it to know who his family is, Angus gives a wistful, uncommitted sound. Then he says it'd be a good wish, which Rohan seems to appreciate. But unlike with Ivar and Deirdre, Angus doesn't try to pivot it back to what he wants to wish for instead (gold). We know he can't relate to Ivar and Deirdre's things at all. But he can relate to Rohan's wish. He knows what sort of fantasy Rohan is picturing, because it's the same one Angus traded his life among the fae for. And deep down, part of him would still like to have that. But he's sticking with the wish for gold, because he's had his chance at that fantasy. He screwed it up. Getting it again would only be a second chance to ruin it.

Gold can't hurt him. He can't disappoint gold.

Then when it comes to Lugad, with Rohan putting so much emphasis on them being brothers - Angus can get that too. Brothers! Amazing! But the way his 'brother' is treating him, trying to kill him, Rohan shouldn't want that. He should walk away, like Angus did. And the fact that Rohan isn't walking off is driving Angus a little crazy.

When Rohan finally admits to the others that they're his family, that's when Angus gives a muted reaction. You'd think he'd be celebrating Rohan seeing the light, but no. It makes me wonder if he thinks Rohan is settling. Not that it isn't nice that Rohan agreed to it at last, but that it's kind of sad they all have to pretend this is "as good" as having a true, blood-related (by magic or otherwise) family to call his own. Angus will play into it, obviously. That's what friends do. But deep down, they all know this isn't... 'real,' right?

Maybe that's the fae in him talking.

But maybe it's the same fae that's never called Rohan anything other than his best friend. 'Almost brothers' isn't brothers, and one thing Angus might've always liked about Rohan is that they both understood this. So maybe it's sad seeing Rohan seek refuge in the delusion. But it's all Rohan has now, right? He tried to make the swap, and his family tried to kill him. Angus won't abandon the guy, but it's such a farce to call this a replacement - even though Angus tried calling them a family first, back when he was yelling at Rohan for not wanting to fight Lugad - that he's going to prove how not-a-real-family they are and ask Deirdre for a widdle kiss uwu

He can't help himself. Angus knows it's not the same thing. He's okay with tricking others, especially if it helps bring Rohan some tiny comfort, but he can't trick himself here.

It's not the same.

I'd want to follow this into an arc where Angus has to eventually go back to his people. The 'failure' - or worse, the adult, because Angus actually grew up - returning to seek help with some part of Rohan's quest or Fin Varra's riddle. Maybe for help against Nemaine. Something. And they laugh hysterically at him for screwing up his swap, but laugh even harder when they learn how far he's willing to go to help his human friends.

And they say it like the word is soaked in poison. Friends. Angus gave up everything he had to get a family, and all he has is friends?

Friends are conditional.

Friends are fickle.

Friends aren't bound to you.

Friends are a bad trade.

Angus is forced to listen to their evil, little chattering and suck it up. He can't really argue - not just because he needs their help for whatever, but because he's gotta admit they're totally right. And that embarrassment of failing so miserably with the family he tried to join comes back, eating at his mind, and ohhhhhh the other fae can feel it radiating off of him, even though he tries to hide it. So he doesn't defend himself against what they're saying. And yet what takes it from bad to worse is if he brought the others along (I'm thinking at least Deirdre here because she loves jumping in with a spirited defence of what's right) and they pipe up about the power of friendship and what close friends they've been.

The other fae, all grimy and child-sized, HOWL with laughter at this. It gets to a point where it starts to hurt (not Angus, who's only quiet because he's fuming), until they stop and switch to ask how good of friends they are when they didn't even know Angus was fae.

The others don't have an answer. I figure Rohan would, but either he's not here with them now or he seems to know to hold his tongue. One look at Angus and the storm in his eyes would be the sharpest clue there is to give it away.

I imagine Angus interrupting to 'humour' the other fairies. He's using his 'on' voice - the one where he's making a big performance of it, and the fairies are eating up what he's saying: friends are just friends, they all know that, but let's move this along and get to the help Angus came here for. The fairies might hem and haw but at least they decide to give the Mystic Knights a clue, which is more than what they had before. Angus takes it and leaves, and the others follow after him (Deirdre, assumedly, annoyed that it's letting those awful, pint-sized gremlins 'win'). I even imagine her complaining how mean it was to have Angus forced to pretend he agreed.

... Angus doesn't challenge her. He doesn't confirm what she's saying either, though. And Rohan would probably be the only one who can notice.

A real twenty-two minute episode would be too short for everything I'm seeing. We'd need a couple where he's revealed as a fae and the others adjust to it. A few where they see if he has any magic left to help in quests (eh, I'll come back to this). But then, finally, one where they go back to the other changelings, now that they've been building it up for a while. Angus' reluctance to go back would be the focus, and it'd explain why he's so quick to want to leave, too. Leaving forever isn't because the other fae won't accept him back. It's not like, "We'll kill you if we ever see you here." But it is like, "We will never let you forget this for as long as you live." And fairies? They live for a fucking long time.

So Angus finally getting hit with that insulting barrage - the most excruciating thing he's experienced, even if he's being stonily silent about it now - brings on an entirely new dynamic among the others. That word felt soaked in poison because it was poison. Angus is suddenly pulling back, more aloof and cavalier with them. Getting him to be a part of the team is now a 'favour,' and it's like he's more and more annoyed by how many of these 'favours' he's handing out. Eventually, with the others trying to corner him and find out what's wrong, guessing and suspecting and whispering about the something that it might be, he snaps. The words sound mild, maybe, but they show how hollow Angus feels after having had this rot away in his mind.

"I get it," he says, while being smothered by these people who don't have a reason to be this close and in his face all the time. "We're friends. But we're only friends. I don't need to do everything you ask just because of it. It's friendship, not a contract. It's not as if we're married."

This is sort of what I'm saving Rohan for. Because I think this is where he gives his wistful, uncommitted sound. This is what he went through when he was trying to accept the others as 'good enough,' because forcing himself to give up his dream of a perfect, blood-related family wasn't easy. It's what he himself wanted his whole life. And Angus gave up his life among the fairies to get it, and he failed. Trying to be satisfied with friends, in the way Rohan knows Angus is imagining?

It's another bit of a recontextualization of the wish episode again: Rohan was the one to sit the others down and talk about the value of friendship. He understands what it's like getting so caught up in a dream that you lose sight of what's in front of you. But he's not the same as Angus, who made excuses and said Rohan needed time alone when the 'Maeve is my mother' secret came out. Instead, Rohan'll tell the others to be gentle, and to be patient, but to keep their hand of friendship outstretched.

The changelings had all chittered that friends were fickle and conditional, right? That was what Angus had to be thinking, Rohan will explain. Now, more than ever, they have to prove they're not going to leave him - or let Angus leave first in some twisted point about being abandoned. He's a flight risk, remember? They know what he's like.

This is the plot that an episode could follow. The one before it could be the set-up to go and see the other fairies, which lets this one follow Angus reuniting with them, hearing what they say, falling back into those conscious beliefs, and withdrawing in an angry, confused, and humiliated panic. It's to get the other Mystic Knights slowly luring him back to them, refusing to give up, and believing in him enough (thanks to Rohan) to finally drop the "What's wrong what's wrong what's wrong something's wrong something's wrong with you what's wrong" interrogation. They force themselves to let the tension fizzle away. Angus tests it, suspects it, but they either don't react or they tell him to cut it out because he's treating them poorly. It's almost like... kinda psychological warfare, in a way? Where they're purposely refusing to engage and making him confront the fact that he keeps expecting the worst from them.

This would be playing out as they follow the clue they were given. Maybe it was a fetch quest, because I want the episode to end with Angus coming back to other fae. The clue could've been to a McGuffin, and only with that McGuffin will the changelings give the Mystic Knights what they were here for. It's far off - really far off - to let it take a few nights around a campfire. That's perfect for Angus to storm off when he's hit his limit. He can go get firewood or something, returning the first few times to hear them talking about him. Then Rohan does his intervention. Then the talking stops. Or at least it moves to regular chitchat of close friends making the most of a miserable fetch quest together.

The audience would know about Angus luring the human kid he swapped with out into a forest. That's because I want Angus to be in a forest when he finally has his epiphany.

The human kid? The one who's now transformed? That kid follows after Angus purely to ask him questions.

It's awkward, obviously, for Angus to come face-to-face with... well, essentially his own face. Just child-sized. And the original. It's a little off from his own still, but the human-fairy skips right by all that.

"What's it like being an adult?"

"How did his human life turn out?"

"He lives near a castle now?"

"He's a magical knight?"

"What are the fairies in Tir Na Nog like?"

"What does he do all day?"

And Angus, maybe a little surprised and speechless, stammers through a couple of answers before he launches into the great adventures that he's had. The human-fairy's captivated - it all sounds fun! Angus doesn't realize for a moment but... yeah. He agrees. It's been fun. And he means that as the fae do: his kind absolutely worship having fun. They barely stopped screeching and playing long enough to send the Mystic Knights out here - in fact, they didn't stop playing. The only break they took from tumbling around was to laugh hysterically at Angus' failure, which was fun for them in another way. So for him to say it's been fun, and to mean it...?

He's surprised by how happy it makes him.

It feels nostalgic.

But - look, he's not going to be face-to-face with the face he stole and not ask questions of his own. Angus wants to know if the human-fairy's angry at being kidnapped.

The human-fairy - who can't be more than six, which lines up with how young I imagine Rohan was when Angus found him (adding a bit more nostalgia to that too) - shrugs and says he isn't sure. Being with the fae is a lot of fun, and it's been so long since he's seen his family that he doesn't quite remember them. He doesn't feel compelled to find them, though, and that's because it's almost like he never left.

And Angus stops the boy to ask what that means. 'Never left'?

The boy says even though he can't picture his family's faces, he remembers how it felt to be with them. And as the only other person who's lived in the same families as Angus, he can say pretty confidently that the fae make him feel the same.

They're not the same. The fae are loud and sharp and exciting. His family felt... softer. Cozy. Peaceful. But he feels the same about them. They're both home to him. He used to only have one home, but then he became a fairy and now he has another.

So... the boy doesn't want to go back?

The human-fairy shrugs again. Maybe one day. When he's ready to settle down and be a boring oaf of an adult. "But you don't sound boring," the boy says, through a sharp, shark-like set of changeling teeth. "Maybe I'll go and be a magical knight too."

"I think there's only six," Angus says.

"There will be," the boy answers.

Their teeth are sharp. On many levels, that vicious little grin is pointed.

... Nostalgic. The spark of this threat - the game in it - breathes life back into a part of him that Angus thought had died. Grinning back in a way that would've been just as sharp if he had those teeth, he tells the boy, "Try it. Fair's fair."

"Don't make it easy," the boy says.

On that faintly deliriously hum of fun, the boy takes his leave. The challenge was made, the game's been set, and maybe someday Angus will have a changeling trying to swap back.

... Not into a family, though, as they usually would.

The epiphany comes. Gentle and soft and cozy.

It would be into a family, Angus understands. That's what the others are to him.

They're not the same as the fae, but he knows what that human-fairy meant by it: they feel like home. The people he'd tried to swap into never did. Understandable. He can admit that now. But the way the others have taken him in, and how they haven't changed even knowing what he is...

They're fun.

He might be practically human now, but it's still the most important thing to him. Fun can mean loving and loyal and - unbelievably - even quiet. But it's all fun, isn't it? To him anyway.

The other fae would howl again if they heard that. But deep down inside of him...

... He's okay with it.

He cares. He still cares. But he doesn't feel the anger and grief at the thought of them laughing at his failure anymore. When he thinks about it, yes, he botched the swap he was trying to make. But he didn't botch the swap that he got.

It's interesting.

Being consumed by such a calm realization...

He doesn't even jump when he hears the leaves crunching behind him. Somehow it makes perfect sense for Rohan to arrive, and to find each other in another forest.

Rohan asks him if he's ready to leave, putting a hand on Angus' shoulder. It isn't a tug. It's just an offer to join them at the campfire.

And it's night.

Angus lured that human kid into the forest at night back then.

The flicker that thought stirred awake fizzled out before he even named its emotion.

It'd been daylight when he and Rohan first met. But when Rohan woke up, Angus didn't need to lure him into going anywhere. Rohan was already leaving his own home, so the two leaving the forest together made sense. In fact, Rohan practically followed Angus out on his own. For no reason.

Just for fun.

And that thought, almost overwhelming him, was friendship. Angus couldn't speak around it, but it must've been clear on his face, because the hand on his shoulder gave a short squeeze. Time to go home, he figured. Back out together again.

He'll be quiet at the campfire, but it's restful now. He'll see the not-so-secret looks to Rohan, asking if something's wrong. And he'll feel Rohan's even-less-subtle, relentlessly confident answer:

No.

Because Angus is fine.

Going back to the changelings after their stupid game of fetch has a different sense of frustration now. It's more like annoyance at having to have walked so far and jump through their hoops, all to predictably lose for their enjoyment.

Angus knows what he's heading into. He's known from the start that it was all a silly waste of time meant to 'shock' them with that reveal. But whatever help they were after was locked behind this stupid charade, so he was sucking it up and playing his part, hating that he had to play pretend.

But he didn't hate himself for going back.

It suddenly felt like running into his old pickpocket friends. They were fun, sure, and familiar, but the kind he'd moved on from by now. Outgrown.

So he still wanted to get this over with.

Improvements were improvements though, and Deirdre's complaints from behind him as he lead others through winding the passages - which still felt so burned into his very being, not even needing memory to navigate - was something he appreciated. He wasn't looking forward to this. They were going to be mean. They always were. That's what made them, them. He used to join in, too.

And of course the conversation went exactly as he thought it would.

... Right up to the split second before he handed the McGuffin over.

That deep, long-forgotten, nearly buried fairy blood suddenly hummed in his veins with glee.

It was the same hum as the other changelings were making: anticipation and delight over what was supposed to happen. And he stopped, because he knew exactly what to do.

"Ivar," he said, abruptly handing the McGuffin over. "You're polite. You should give the speech."

Ivar, obviously, wasn't expecting there to be a speech, but trusted Angus to know his own people. And Angus knew Ivar.

He knew all of them.

With how long Ivar took to get through a formality, Angus had plenty of time to feel both of his families in one place. And he could feel Rohan staring, proud of Angus but a little smug about being right. That was perfect too, though. Smug was icing on the cake for this.

Ivar gave his speech. Lovely. And he bowed. Lovelier. And the prince gave the McGuffin to whoever seemed to be in charge for the hour.

That kid, in the same fluid motion it used to pick the McGuffin up, fuckin' threw that shit at a wall and made it shatter into forty pieces.

Then they all cheered.

Angus had to admit the look of horror on the others' faces - even wiping that smug part off of Rohan's - was phenomenal. He couldn't outright laugh (technically this was a joke on him too, since he'd had to get the McGuffin), but he earned getting to smile wide enough for the family resemblance to come shining through. Hundreds of tiny, shark-sharp chattering teeth were flashing through this cave - and so were Angus' 💖

"You said we needed that," he hears Deirdre shrieking in outrage over the sound. "We came to you for help-"

It's a special, extra thrill for Angus - and Angus only - to watch the princess get to work. The fear she put in the changelings? Equally as phenomenal. And in the horrified silence at the end of her outraged tirade, and at their shocked, shark-toothed mouths hanging open and beady eyes going wide, Angus felt it sink in.

And he howled in laughter.

Which was great, 'cause even though the changelings didn't seem to get the joke (too sophisticated for them, he supposed), knowing there was a joke at all - because Angus would know; he was one of them - broke the tension again. The fairies finished up their prank, handed them the real help, and Angus waved goodbye before leading the others outside. Deirdre didn't need his help this time, since she practically seethed her own way out through the rock. That was fine, 'cause the changelings didn't even notice he'd said goodbye. They were already back to scratching and biting and laughing.

Hilarious. All of them. And fun.

"I can't believe you used to be one of those," Deirdre spits when they're back in the open air.

"He's still one of them," Ivar says, defending Angus' honour.

"Well..." Angus thinks about that. "I am and I'm not." That used to be his home, after all. He used to be just like they were. The difference was simple but undeniable. So he shrugs. "I grew up."

Cue Deirdre ranting about how she wished they would all grow up. Those mini-monsters wasted days of their royal lives just to smash that trinket right when they had it? It was disrespectful - did they even know who she was?

They did. That's why it was funny.

Rohan's been at his side. Not asking, but close enough that he might as well have asked.

Is Angus all right?

Angus doesn't the answer the not-question.

He only suggests, "Back home, then?"

Rohan understands.

It figures. Who'd know Angus better than his best friend?

(it takes less than an hour for angus to whine about how far everything always is)

[rabbiteclair]

Hello again, I'm going insane over Keine x Mokou (the care and tenderness in Keine wanting to keep her from any harm despite the whole immortality!!), and wanted to hear your thoughts on the pairing in general, and also on what Keine's abilities to "eat history" and "know history" entail. Assuming the wiki isn't making stuff up. The former has at least an example in how she hid the village (also I'm dying over the idea of her using it to eat up Mokou's nightmares), but the latter is... really vague.

this is one of the like three pairings I've been thinking about writing a lot over the past few weeks, so you're on a roll

It's pretty high up on my personal rankings, although one I haven't written a lot since I tend to interpret it as a pretty comfy, established, stable kinda relationship. Doesn't lend itself to being the center of a big story as easily as some others. I've thought that it could be interesting to explore how they met in the first place, but the one time I tried, it somehow ended up turning into the scene in Eyes in the Dark with Mokou butchering a rabbit. (Originally Keine was the one standing there going 'so anyway, I was wondering if--oh. Oh ew.')

I think that one thing that tends to hurt the pairing when it comes to fanworks is how little we've gotten of Keine, and how much of her canon stuff is just kinda 'get this: she's a teacher, and she does history.' (And then she isn't even The History Person, that's Akyuu's gig.) Her PMiSS and BAiJR articles were both like that. Apart from that, she had a couple of brief appearances in Bougetsushou, and that's about it. Glancing over her wiki page, unless you count an ad in AFiEU, I think her last appearance that wasn't a non-speaking cameo was... early 2008, in Inaba of the Moon. So hey, pretty soon we'll be at fifteen years since Keine did anything.

I can still remember FS starting and me being like 'oh boy, a human village-centric series, finally Keine and Akyuu will get a chance to shine.' sigh. I was half-right.

(On the upside for Keine: I feel like Plain Asia has a ridiculous amount of really good arranges.)

Which kinda naturally leads to the question of her powers, I guess.

TouhouWiki's explanation seems fairly accurate to me, although it wouldn't hurt to get into the definition of 'history' here a bit more. Her PMiSS article is still a bit uncertain, but it seems like it's referring to history in the sense of a social phenomenon. Which is to say, she can't just remove something from the past, but she can alter, create, or erase people's conceptions about it, and probably tweak how it fits into the larger narrative of Gensokyo.

Which, I think, leads to two real interpretations:

She's affecting people's knowledge and stuff, and only in the sense of the broad, public narrative. So while she could erase the village's history in IN, that just meant that everyone outside still knew there was a village, but they were left just kinda meandering around going 'damn, there was a village somewhere around here, wasn't there?'

Her powers are more focused on people's perceptions, so she can do things like erase the village's history, thus just rendering it outright invisible to most people, because they're perceiving things as if there never was a village in the first place.

Her dialogue in IN really sounds like #2 is true... but then what the hell does it mean for her to need to catch up on recording history every full moon? Nobody needs to do bookkeeping on reality so that... the way that things look lines up with what happened. That's just like... that's how causality works. (At least, hopefully. I think this is what OWoD Mage was about.) And that doesn't really make me think 'history.' It's just illusion powers with a fancier explanation. So I tend to lean toward #1.

That interpretation still has lots of room for debate and stuff, but as usual that's part of the fun.