#but Emely is actually the one trying to consider what that cost would be

[thewalkingplumbob]

Previously / Legacy Tag

Transcript below:

Reila: So I talked to Brielle today when I took Luca to the library.

Emely: And? Did she have some good news?

Reila, small sigh: Yes and no. She said there are a lot of loopholes in Newcrest adoption laws.

*distracted*

Emely: Oh yeah? What kind of noodles?

Reila. louder: Loopholes, not noodles. Babe are you even listening?

Emely: You have my full attention. Tell me about these loopholes. What does Brielle think?

Reila: She thinks Kiara has a good chance at getting visitation rights. But I told her no way.

Emely, soft: Would that be such a bad thing?

Reila, surprised: W-what?! You think we should let her see Luca? I thought we were on the same page about this?

Emely: Do I want her to be any part of his life? No. But she's his biological mom. The more I try to think logically, the more letting her have visitation makes sense.

*falling asleep*

Reila: Wow. Okay. So I guess I'm the irrational one now?

Emely, mumbling: You're not irrational...

[halfnekoslair]

My dolls)

Photo by ig @gray_valet

Hi guys) The package with the previous mouse group order arrived in the US. The rest does not depend on me. So I'm making a post to show everything I can offer. Shipping from Russia is quite expensive, starts from about 70 USD for EMS, which I usually use. So it makes more sense for foreigners if someone organizes a group order to share the shipping cost. This has already been done twice. And I believe there is a discord group about this. But I will give you approximate numbers: This is about 70 USD for up to 1 kilogram 90 USD for up to 2 kilograms and about 105 USD for up to 3 kilograms.

This post is going to be huge so I'll put the prices on top:

15cm mouse. 73 usd for standard colour. +7 usd for extra colour.

25cm turtle. 230 usd.

28 cm 1/6 boy doll. 110 usd for Eirwyn 120 for character heads cause of their hair/ear parts.

MSD Eirwyn. 180 usd.

Speaking of group orders I would prefer not to go above 1000 USD in one box because I don't trust US Customs one bit. And if something bad is destined to happen - I would prefer it not to be a terribly large amount of money.

I can change the prices over time. I most likely will. I'm just groping for a while. The difference in price is more due to the amount of manual work I have to put into the doll than to the size. Turtles are far and away the most complex. And human dolls are less time-consuming. If I make a few and feel that it is more difficult or easier than I thought - I will change the prices. As you can see, so far I have only sold mice.

So what do I offer?

I'm obviously offering mice.

This is around life size mouse doll. Almost 15 cm standing tall and including ears.

I use ABS-like photopolymer resin for these dolls. Because it is easier to work with and looks more polyurethane-like. Mice have a lot of small delicate parts that would be harder to make look good with a harder resin. So it's a tradeoff. I prefer aesthetics over durability. I am not saying that ABS-like resin is too brittle. Many people use this type of resin for dolls. Especially small ones. I am just explaining why I use different types of resin for different dolls. I might consider printing a mouse with the tough resin I use for my larger dolls but that would cost more because it would take more time to post-process.

The colors "from the can" are gray and white. I can also print beige and chocolate at any time. Because these are the most basic colors and I can cut the leftovers. (Beige and chocolate may differ slightly from time to time because I due them myself. White and gray are constant.)

I can mix any color (green, purple). But there must be 2 or more mice of this color in the order. Otherwise it will be counted as an extra color because I will have a lot of leftovers that I will not be able to use.

There is also an option to add pink paws or tail or both. If the doll has 2 colors in it, it is counted as an extra color.

2. Turtles.

Photo by ig @gray_valet

Yes, I finally decided to try and start selling them.

They are 1/6 size. About 25 cm. A little shorter than Barbie. But wide and heavy.

There are 4 sculpts. Each of which has an individual head and some differences in the body.

Officially I name the sculpts by numbers, not by character names. but I think the characters are pretty obvious.

So #1 (Leo)) He's my princess >W< Lol. Sorry. This sculpt is quite beefy. But has the most delicate face and front shell of them all for my taste.

№2 (Raph)

This one the widest and most monstrous of them all. He was actually designed to be a little shorter than the first one, but he refused and ended up the same height.

№3 (Don) He is a little taller and thinner than the others. I tried to make him more human in proportions and face.

№4 (Mike) He's the baby of the group. I still wonder if I made him too small. But I like him as is.

Each of them has 3 faces on magnets. Neutral, angry and happy.

For turtle dolls I use a tough resin. Because they are actually big, even though they are short. And they have quite a strong elastic tension. It's a little less pretty than the ABS-like. But it's really tough. I have a video of me throwing it on the pavement.

Turtles have 3 colors. For the skin, plastron and shell. You can send me a picture and I will try to dye the resin as close as I can.

I will add 2 pairs of the chosen color eyes and 1 pair of white to the doll.

I can also print basic katanas and sais in a size suitable for the doll. In a random color.

3. 1/6 youth doll.

This body is about 28cm and is sculpted to represent a teenage boy in a Barbie-proportioned world.

This can go with my original Eirwin head and resin hair

Or an anime head with a hairstyle representing a character from the Genshin Impact game.

(Keep in mind that 1/6 of the sculpts has sculpted eyelashes) At the moment I have

Tighnari with magnetic ears (It's my friend's doll)))

and Cyno

Lol I even made his hair articulated.

I also tried to put a Barbie head on this body and it wasn't terrible)

I print these dolls with tough resin as well. Even though they are small they aren't very detailed so it's just nice to have a little more durability.

I can try to dye the color you want. But I can't promise 100% accuracy because one is the pictures on the screen and the other is the resin and pigments. And also I do not recommend dark skin colors. because this resin is very thick and it can reject the pigment while printing. With dark colors it can lead to a slight difference of the color between parts in one doll.

And last but not least...

4. MSD Eirwyn.

The MSD version of this sculpt has some differences from the 1/6 version. It has a wider neck, smaller eyes, and no sculpted eyelashes.

Eirvin is 45cm tall and is adjusted to fit into my company MSD doll group. (Photos with Dollzone and Resinsoul)

10mm eyes, 55mm feet. The only non-standard part of him is his butt. It's quite wide for a MSD) But I like the silhouette.

I print my dolls with full infill so it weighs the same as the cast doll.

Obviously I'm printing such a big doll with tough resin. And with such a size of parts I'm mostly calm for this doll. My cat has already given it a couple of test falls from the table.

For color - I also do not recommend dark here. For large parts and almost 10 hours of printing it can give a big difference in color.

I don't mind answering questions and taking additional photos if needed.

Congratulations) You survived my longest post.

[ramshackledtrickster]

What if Altair and Ezio time travelled to just after the events of AC3 and landed In the homestead?

Also, thoughts on what each assassin would be like as a babysitter?

I’ll try to combine the two prompts!

Ratonhnhaké:ton would be a bit surprised at first bc hey these are the guys he learned about while Achilles was teaching him about the history of the brotherhood. Then, he gets them acclimated and situated so they don’t have to sleep in the stables or anything, and when that’s sorted out he encourages them to help around the homestead since they’re part of that community and family now for the time being + Connor places emphasis on communal work and everyone helping each other.

Ezio isn’t as stoked about it at first but he actually quite likes helping with agriculture and farm work I think (especially considering after Revelations he’d rather retire and tend to a vineyard than do assassin stuff again.

Altaïr is not the most sociable so he’s a little cagey around the new characters, but I think he’d admire the way Ratonhnhaké:ton runs the homestead as both a functional community built on mutually aiding one another as well as doubling as a secure hideout for the assassins that would be hard to locate and infiltrate. Altaïr has had his own history with reforming the Masyaf brotherhood to emphasize freedom of choice and love for one another to build a healthier community, so he’d be proud of Ratonhnhaké:ton.

Also, one of these tasks in the homestead for sure involve babysitting/looking after Hunter or any other youngling on the homestead. I feel like the Homestead would have a “It takes a village to raise the next generation” type attitude (majorly encouraged by Ratonhnhaké:ton and influenced by his own upbringing) where everyone would look after each other’s kids and help the parents in raising em.

Ezio would be really good with kids I think, so looking after Hunter wouldn’t be an issue— growing up he’s had to look after both Claudia and Petruccio, and I feel he prides himself on that as being a good big brother, so he’d know the signs and basics of babysitting and he takes his responsibility very seriously. He’d also probably get on the other assassin’s asses on certain particulars like how to specifically hold a baby or what foods to use. He’s been around this bend the most out of the three, after all. That overconfidence can cost him though since every baby is different but he’s a bit too proud to admit that what Petruccio liked as baby food wouldn’t fly with another youngling.

Ratonhnhaké:ton is good with kids too, but he’s a little more cautious and wary and can come off as overprotective (baby proofing every square inch of wherever they’re at, worrying over every little sign, etc). He calms down though and becomes more comfortable with the rhythm of it, but generally he takes this job very seriously as well, especially since the parents trust him so much, and keeping that trust is incredibly important. He’d also be up for playing some games here or there playing with the kiddo, and humming/softly singing some lullabies he can recall in kanien’keha. Mothers trust him the most with their kids and that’s a big responsibility to shoulder, and he doesn’t want to let anyone down.

Altaïr is the one that probably feels the most awkward around kids and small babies, especially because he has to reprogram and unlearn from a lifetime of viewing himself as only useful as an assassin and a killer. Handling something so small and delicate seems so more daunting than tracking and killing a templar. So honestly, Altaïr would probably go stiff just. Holding the baby and hoping it stays asleep. Like a feinting goat with its legs locked. He knows the basics of babysitting and caring for a baby but he still feels cagey about it— to make up for it though, I feel like Altaïr would do a lot of research and reading on babies, their development, and how to best take care of them (or if he can’t find good books he’d go around and ask and make his own notes corroborated from what he has learned). He wants to do the best he can in the end, and it’d be really cute if one day Connor or Ezio (or both) accidentally walk in on Altaïr playing peekaboo or making silly noises to make the baby laugh because that’d honestly be the first time they’ve seen him so relaxed and more comfortable.

[ladydisharmony]

Another snippet from my bod re-imagine. chapter one will be finished SOON. This snippet is actually planned to be part of chapter 3 but I am excited to share it. this will be the final snippet until the chapter this snippet is from is published, at the very least.

What could he do to prove he was serious in his want to co-exist with pony-kind? He was only half serious. He wanted to see what he could get away with while in their good graces-as good as their graces for him could be. He just needed to show them he was as willing as his words were. He thought for a moment. How do two kingdoms show their alliance to each other? he supposed trade could work, but there was nothing they could give him that he couldn’t give himself. It would be a little uneven in who is benefitting from the barter, though he supposed he could consider it-oh.

“How about a marriage of alliance?”

It was very old fashioned, especially in Equestrian terms, but it may be the key he needs to achieve his toleration among the land. He observed the group of wide eyes and waited a few beats. Their shock was certainly worth the question, and he could only assume they were waiting for him to tease them for thinking he was serious. He only stared back.

Twilight looked to her friends on either side of her, trying to find the words to respond. She cleared her throat in the uncomfortable silence. “W-well, I suppose you being married to one of our own would show great trust. But that would be just as great a cost for us. How could we be sure you won’t subject-”

“Oh please, sparkle, I’m a sadist in the most humorous sense. I only get my kicks out of torturing others when they deserve it. if the rest of my words mean nothing to you I promise I’d only ever subject my spouse to a small dose of psychological torture, you have my word on that.” He wanted to say that he probably wouldn’t pay them any mind at all, but that didn’t sound like he was making an effort. he continued, “There is a lot of misunderstanding between your subjects and I, a lot of…tension.” It was his turn to clear his throat. “It’s tiring, even for me. One can only take so much of the same conflict. You know me, I love all different kinds! I know you’d be surprised to hear, but being incased in stone leads to a lot of thinking; that incident last year was just me getting my jitters out. I was so wound up in there it was only a matter of time before I exploded,” at his words he burst, pieces of himself scattering across the ballroom floor, before he reconstructed himself. “I’ve taken the time to collect myself and I’m ready to begin a new chapter with pony-kind. Besides, I’ve always seen myself as the anti-hero. Why not help you all out to spite my own enemies?”

“There it is,” Rainbow Dash called out.

“I’ll have you know that there really are no hard feelings on my end. Not towards the six of you, anyways. If you think I dislike you, you haven’t seen what I’ve done to those I despise. It’s nobody you’ve gone head to head with yet, anyways. Wouldn’t it be better to have me in your corner if something like that were to arise?”

There was silence, and Twilight couldn’t decide if he was helping or hurting his case. He didn’t not have a point. It would be very helpful to have an alliance with him, regardless of his reasoning. But a marriage? The only ‘subject’ in his kingdom is him. would it be right to ask the citizens of Equestria if anyone would like to marry the hopefully ex-terrorist as a form of allyship? The idea alone was completely insane.

“If ya hate em’ so much, why are they still around to pounce on us, whoever it is yer talkin’ about.” Applejack spoke up with a good question. Discord gave a Discord answer.

“It’s more fun this way.”

It was silent again. It seemed nobody knew what to say. How could they? This wasn’t exactly what anyone was expecting with Discord showing up after so long, unannounced. How annoyingly unpredictable of him; How extraordinarily in character.

[shrimplymoray]

I've been waiting for this for 10.. no 10,000 years... Can you please write something related to Auditor x Reader (AAHW soldier or engineer or other combat unit) everything is at your discretion ;)

AUDI LOVERS!!! UNITEEEE!!! I literally love all characters (minus church and Jorge) but audi is neglected in my little crow brain, so it will be my pleasure to write for em! *As a little note, there is a lot of different HCs about what pronouns to use for Auditor. I will use They/them as a base, unless requested differently, as i think this is easy enough to resort to and write with, but if you prefer me to change, feel free to send another ask and i will do!

The Auditor X AAHW!Reader - Favoritism

An agency meant to restore the balance of Nevada. A place to serve a greater purpose, may that cost your life or not. A place where you are meant to be equal and throw down the one that started all that hs been going on in this hell of a place... and yet equal is the least you are. Was it fate? A Curse? or perhaps a blessing... Who knows it, by now. What started as a simple job of guarding the agency where the big boss themself, The Auditor, works, soon turned into more... They don't even hide it. It is not as if this is some form of illegal stuff, maybe professional malpractice, but not illegal. If anything, they have pride in showing you off as an example to other Soldats of your league. "So many attacks to the AAHW... So many facilities UTTERLY destroyed due to so many of your incompetences... If it weren't for one of your companions, i bet not even this facility would be running as well as it is, now would it?" Comments about the favoritism towards you, comments that usually would destroy one, but somehow, you are always safe. As usual, you were specifically called to The Auditor's office under the discussion of security check ups. "Boss, I'm here." "Very well, come near." Others would be dying in fear, but somehow, the least thing you feel in this office is fear, as you approach your boss. "Dear soldat, one that works so much for such a great cause... It is not easy to pass through what you do, are you aware?" Their voice held a reverberation, as their hand caressed your armored face. "Yes, I do am..." "You are free to say as you wish in this office, you know? no need to keep the professional formalities." That comment made you let out the breath you were holding. "Dear, you do realize that, uhm..." You tried wording it nicely but failed to think of an actual nice way to say what you wanted "Others are noticing the favoritism?" "And?" Their eyes seemed to narrow, almost trying to read your mind with them. "And what if this ends up badly? like... if the other soldats are aware, wouldn't this make me a target for the enemy? Hank?" "You are assuming he would even reach here, and that i wouldn't be able to make sure he suffers a thousand deaths before touching on you? How sweet, makes me want to take a bite out of you, really." Although their tone didn't pass the same sentiment their words did, you did trust your boss- no, your lover- enough to know that those are meant truthfully. With a sigh, you reiterate what you have to say almost daily: "Just try toning it a little bit down, maybe?" And as usual, they replied: "I will consider your request thoroughly, dear."

PLEASE AUDI DESERVES SO MUCH MORE LOVE, I ADORE THEM SO MUCH DGASHGDSHAGDJGDSJA Hope you enjoy this!!

[sweet-thangman]

hey pretty boy too proud to say hi now that you’re whoring around with the prince?

you never respond to my hi’s. not politely at least…

doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy ignoring them. 

oh my apologies then… good evening jason…

…

as expected. goodnight, my good knight…

okay, okay, hello? shouldn’t you be helping clean up the ball?

shouldn’t YOU be helping clean up the ball? it’s YOUR engagement.

i’m on watch here? every night?

you know… your view of the hallway is completely obstructed by that column.

the only thing i’d have to miss behind that would have to be even smaller than you. 

i’m not THAT small. 

oh yeah? come get it…

HEY GIVE THAT BACK!!!  I DONT HAVE TIME FOR… DEMEANING CHILDISH GAMES! 

i suppose where you’re standing is… acceptable… i just was trying to be helpful.

hmph. word at the ball was that you left to chase the prince… i didn’t think he was your type. 

he’s actually an ex-ex prince…

wish he was the ex-ex-ex prince.

THAT’S TREASONNNN!

like the king hasn’t had the exact same thought… what’re you doing around his harem? i thought you at least cared about doing your job in addition to everyone else’s. 

people can have a sense of duty without sacrificing ALL semblance of fun. 

drinking until you pass out and sleeping in a strangers bed doesn’t seem like fun to me. 

and what would you consider fun? having the same dreary job for 8 years in a row?

9 years actually.

9 years. positively thrilling if you ask me… y’know, if you wanted to join, you could just ask.

i have a fiancée!— also, i don’t want to!!

mhm.

Good day sir here are the knights letters what do i look like an errand boy deliver them yourself fine just thought youd want to deliver them to your friends guess ill just have to go over there and tell them what a wonderful friend you are to me fine give em here oh my engagement present how is it oh um its really good actually thank you the guy who writes them is great at what he does i already have birds of the southern isles and finches around the world but i've never had an illustrated one before though mustve cost a fortune oh it was nothing im so happy youre enjoying it might be the best engagement present ive gotten the king got me a sword with his coat of arms on the pommel which is nice but its also what he got me for my graduation and im not really sure what to do with two swords wow im honored if we ever visit the provinces i can show you all the birds in real life im never gonna visit the northern provinces im needed here well i grew up in the north as a kid my memories not the sharpesg in the world but i could try and describe what they were like youre from the north i never wouldve guessed you seem like you sprang right into being a fully formed courtier well thank you i moved here when i was 7 so i had time to learn the ropes and lose my accent how about you oh uh well i was born in a nearby town i think or the king thinks im an orphan but ite completely fine i have a better life here than i could ever dream of with the king taking care of me and a job i love a job im good at so not as interesting as you thats way more interesting im glad you found a home here yeah are you in love with maya did she put you up to this she said we'd talk about this later no i swear im sorry if its a touchy subject no its fine i of course im in love with maya we're engaged id be the biggest fool in the world if i wasnt in love with her right i wouldnt know dont you fool around with a lot of guys i thought youd have figured out love by now thats nowher enear love sometimes if i want something from someone and they want a little intimacy in return well why would i turn thay down you shouldnt i mean you cant its not a currency you can exchange why not im cute even worse you have to use it responsibilty how do you know they dont think its love i dont wanna contaminate your big knightly brain

Sorry i did that all from memory i think a lot of that is wrong anyways JASONLOUIS IM CRYING GG O,,,,,...MMLL

[emetkoto]

did your resident haurchefant simp find a way to bring him back or

It's more liiiiiiike preventing it from ever happening in the first place :) but it's so fun it's like a choose your own adventure good end based on the answer to the question "do you think a timeloop manifested by the power of love and grief at the loss of a loved one in order to save them is cringe"

If YES:

Then good news that is NOT what happened. He simply tackled her out of the way instead of standing directly in front of it, thus saving them both! And all it cost was a bit of a gnarly hip scar from still being grazed bc gotta keep that "oh god hes bleeding is this gonna be ok if that had hit anything vital it wouldve been over oh my god" angst. This is their canon as of rn unless you DON'T think the concept listed above is cringe in which case continue onto the 'no' section

If YES (Alternative):

Then GREAT news that is STILL not what happened. He dies same as always and Eme goes about her story of grief and love unfulfilled and trying to move on while meanwhile he is unable to pass on. Doubts about how ok he was with how he died and seeing just HOW hard it affected her have left his soul unable to disperse and rejoin the cycle of rebirth so he just kinda. Lingers in the aetherial sea. His doubts and regrets and grief over the life they could've had together piling on and starting to corrupt him like the enemies in the altaiascope as the years go on until EW when Eme's presence as she goes through the dungeon to meet Hydealyn snaps him out of it. He thinks she's surely moved on by now so he doesn't go to her or make himself known but to his surprise she calls on his memory for strength and seems saddened by it which just kinda makes it worse really. God he wants to go back to her he wants nothing more in this world than another chance and his prayers reach Hydealyn who can't ever just be normal and upfront and tell Eme he's here and offer to bring him back or whatever. She's gotta sneak it into the magick she adds to the Azem crystal for her.....so in UT when she summons everyone back instead of feeling the magick fade she senses that there's one more thing it wants her to do. One more wish it can grant her :) grant BOTH of them :) this one is fun but it is just an AU it's not what I ended up actually going with. It's like the emetkoto alternate good end with the same idea of him deciding to come back in UT instead of living through the dying gasp so K'oto still has to suffer for a while

If NO:

He still stands in front of it like a dumbass bc he's so caught between his love and his faith and Ishgardian social norms and customs he can't IMAGINE doing the smart thing and just tackling her. He's never touched her once up until now he has in fact avoided it, they aren't promised to one another yet that's rude and improper and she would never speak to him again surely (rational thoughts) so he plays knight and it goes about the same way it always does.....the first and only and last time he ever touches her is when she holds his hand but hes cold and numb in the limbs from bleeding out and can barely feel it at all and its the same story with the first and only and last time she kisses him all he can feel is nothing and all he can taste is his own blood......

And Eme, a still somewhat new Astrologian grasping her new space and time magicks, loses. her. shit. The despair of your first love dying in your arms after you only just got to tell him you loved him/found out the feelings were mutual bc you were both so down on yourselves you couldnt consider yourselves as equals to the other manifesting as god awful miserable dynamis vibes combined with unstable time magicks and the equally miserable aether of a nearby dragon's eye that just happens to be in possession of one of your buddies = timeloop a la DSR Ultimate

Except uh. His end was a bit more gruesome and traumatic than Emet-Selch's was. So unlike K'oto, Eme did NOT see this for what it was (an opportunity to fix things and change the outcome) and instead saw it as a curse, her own personal hell where she's forced to watch him die again and again completely oblivious to the fact she's the one who made it happen and her despair is kinda not helping guide the situation to a better place. How could she know that was like 9 years before anyone even know dynamis existed tbf

But anyway yeah girlie is falling hard into her misery and unable to make meaningful change as a result, meanwhile he is content with dying this way.....right? At least that's what he told himself the first time...and the second time. And so on and so forth until little by little the doubt he felt about that grew and grew and eventually one loop he went "No. No I'm NOT fine with this actually. I don't want to die FOR her I want to live WITH her" and that desire was strong enough to break through the spell just a little so he could keep his memories between loops since up until then he hadn't and thus the timeloop manifested by Eme to save HIS life became a quest for him to save HER from her despair before it kinda uhhh consumes them both

Fate isn't so easily denied tho especially when the power that's basically a manifestation of emotions is kinda guiding you towards it bc the person unknowingly wielding it is so sure nothing can change it's subtly manipulating events BUT he pushes on and doesn't lose hope and forces his way through it, through to her, and is eventually able to do what he needs to do and fuckin tackles her when there's a lapse in the mysterious forces clouding his judgement and leading him to his death :) love and joy wins and idk maybe his desire to spare her the pain of this ordeal is strong enough to wipe her memories of it up until the good ending like emetkotoverses time loop idk

It's all very cringe and self indulgent but they handed me that fucking time loop with the dragon themed clock motif in DSR and it just kinda did things to my brain. This is in fact kinda their canon story now. And by kinda I mean it is unless you think this is cringe as fuck in which case it's just the first 'yes' option in this post where it all Just Works Out the first time

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

What are some of your hcs?

Hooooooo, boy I've been waiting for this one! I have too many to count, so here's some. I present to you:

Peter Parker x Felicia Hardy Couple Headcanons

Peter and Felicia may not look it, but they’re the perfect ‘opposites attract’ couple.

Peter is the most frugal, sensible person on Earth. He still wears t-shirts he brought in high school and considers Chinese Food a guilty splurge. And somehow he managed to bag a girlfriend with literally the most expensive taste ever.

Felicia wears only brand name. Her favorite handbag costs more than his rent. Half the time she looks at him and is like 

Originally posted by blondebrainpower

It isn’t until he starts dating her that Peter learns to relax and treat himself more. Felicia has to literally force him to take time off and pamper himself and take care of himself. Felicia Hardy is the self-care queen.

If Peter won’t treat himself, Felicia will do it for him, goddammit. (Even if that means stealing something and treating him to it.)

But on the flip side, being with Peter teaches her that not everything has to be glitz and glamour to be great. She starts enjoying eating in more than going out restaurants, if it means that Pete is cooking. She admires how resourceful he can be. 

And she also pays his rent on occasion. He gets flustered every time.

Talking about opposites attract - Peter is a night owl. You’d think the girl with the cat name would be the nocturnal one, but no. He just has so much shit to do. It’s really not odd for Peter to be hitting the mattress just as the sun is coming up. Felicia however, early-fucking-bird. Like it’s borderline ridiculous.

She’s a ‘2-hour workout to start the day’ kinda girl. The kind that makes a smoothie bowl and listens to Meg Thee Stallion at 7 am to ‘get in the zone’. Her alarm goes off at like 4:30 and she’s just up and at ‘em. She bullet-journals, she meal-preps. Peter envies how much Felicia has her shit together, but he has no idea how she does it - considering he’s the superhuman one.

Talking about being superhuman - Peter does doesn’t realize how good he has it until he starts dating her. Felicia is human. She doesn’t have super strength. Which means she actually has to work-out. Everyday. Intensely. It makes Peter realize how much he takes for granted. Sure, he has his Spidey-sense. But she’s all technique, and work, and gold medals.

Watching Felicia do her daily gymnastics, weight-lifting, MMA training, it just blows him away.

Felicia loves using him as a sparring partner. Peter’s humor makes him super-encouraging. He’s the best trainer ever. Peter doesn’t actually need the work-out, but he still comes along often. They’re the couple at the gym that are just super in-sync. It's like a daily mini-date for them.

After they’ve been dating awhile Peter has to move in to Felicia’s place, because Felicia’s enormous closet wouldn’t have fit in Peter’s small-ass studio.

It takes Felicia 3 weeks to get in the habit of calling him ‘Peter’ and not Spider. She still does it on occasion. She’s purposely call him Spider if she’s trying to seduce him, or worried about him.

Their apartment is just…chaotic. It’s not messy, but it’s chaotic. Peter’s science work, cork boards of superhero detailing, Felicia’s art and canvases - she was a art major after all. Between her closet, his tech, their superhero gear, and Felicia’s art, the Hardy-Parker apartment always has something odd going on.

Holy shit, do these two get competitive. Especially when it comes to gifts. They constantly try to one up each other with gifts. They take holidays like Valentines Day and Christmas very serious. Birthdays are even worse. Even Date nights too.

They're always trying to surprise the other and put a smile on the other's face, and considering they've both done the 'secret double life thing' they're really good at hiding presents from each other. Surprises and little gifts are their thing. Even if Peter can't afford it, he still tries to find cheap but sentimental gifts for her, and their date ideas are wild. (Indoor skydiving, anyone?)

Peter is Felicia’s biggest muse. I HC that Felicia is a Fine Arts major, with a knack for art forgery. They have multiple paintings of Peter in the style of famous artists like Picasso and Van Gogh.

Felicia has multiple cats, whom tolerate Peter to varying degrees.

Prior to their engagement, Peter saves up to buy Felicia a promise ring. She wears it constantly. 

Prior to moving in together, Felicia ‘ironically’ collected Spider-man merch. Peter thinks this is funny, and he’s kind of gotten into it too. In an ‘ironic’ way of course. They have matching Spidey pajamas.

At one point in time during college, Felicia was apart of the Spider-man Fan Club. She says it helped her learn his fighting strategies prior to meeting him. She doesn’t tell Peter this information, and when he finds out she nearly dies from embarrassment.

Whenever Peter’s not looking, Felicia will put on his mask because she thinks it’s funny.

Felicia took a fashion course in college. She designed her own costume and does all the repairs on Peter's suit. She usually has to make him a new one every 6-12 months.

Felicia and Peter have a routine of watching the Daily Bugle every night and making fun of J.Jonah from their couch. Sometimes they’ll boo him or throw popcorn at the screen.

J.Jonah hates The Black Cat more than he hates The Spider-Man. Unlike Peter though, she loves the attention. Black Cat openly has beef with J.Jonah and will instigate the man on-sight. Peter really tries to dissuade her from doing this. She keeps doing it anyway.

Their relationship gives off ‘Excuse me? He asked for no pickles.’

And since this is long Imma just leave it there. But thanks for asking this! It was so fun to write out and I'll probably make another of these because I just have so many.

kk bye y'all! :)

[sburbian-sage]

Ah shit man if you needed food all you had to do was say, kinda shit texture but i made a fuckton of freeze dried foods and vacuum sealed them and they should be heading your way and arriving around the same time you get this message

(one of my coplayers was a farmer and entered with a whole ass farm, livestock and all) so theres gonna be some powdered eggs, freeze-dried beef and chicken, powdered potatoes and i think i managed to get some freeze-dried tomato powder as well, as well as some powdered milk, and also some canned corn

Honestly there were very few actual aspect abilities used to send you the box of candy which was a kind of test

Sent em over with a jury rigged telepad thing that i rigged up with a lot of bullshit, a bit of denizen magic, and also the mini-paradox skaia off the kings staff that i stole, using your posts as a kind of beacon with my space aspect (witch of space baby)

Tried making a cool infini-tele-staff thing but my alchimeter exploded and killed me so thats probably not gonna work

Honestly ive been just dicking about since I'm pretty sure this is a doomed timeline cause all my coplayers true deathed a while back

As far as I'm aware my denizen says I'm supposed to use this thing to send back some stuff but never bothered to tell me what i was supposed to send and then went and died so who knows

... Man, I feel bad now.

I didn't actually receive any of the candy the other guy sent. In fact, I didn't actually know until just right now that there was an authentic attempt to send me anything. I read "*uses my space powers to teleport a box of candy onto your ship thing in front of you*" as being in the same genre of post as "sends u internet hugs", AKA a nice message that doesn't actually come with any real hugs. I pretended I received the candy so I could play along and make a joke about thinking it was a Saccharine Doppleganger scare. I briefly considered saying "you teleported it outside of the ship and it has tentacles now", but I thought 1) that was too cynical 2) I could segue the joke I did end up using into a fun Knowledge Tidbit. But the consequences of this joke is that two people just teleported two care packages into who-knows-where and I just made everyone in this situation look like an asshole, especially myself.

I'd also advise against any attempts to do this in the future. I'm in the Furthest Ring, which is essentially a non-Space (and I don't think Time works correctly either) the deepest reaches of which do not "exist" in any particular Session. Space abilities can't directly access it (the best they can do is fling stuff in there, as in you're literally throwing them), and technology like Sendificators and Appearifiers can't really have their coordinates set out here, partially because I think they're bound to the universe they exist in and partially because I don't think euclidean space is really "a thing" out here so the numbers wouldn't even work. The fact that the Ring Servers can exist out here and provide a pan-Session online network is nothing short of miraculous, and it's mostly because their existences have been bargained for with the Others (so it's actually demonic power if anything, heh). To put it another way, if you could teleport something from your Session to my position in the Furthest Ring, you could do the opposite, and if you could do the opposite, I would not be here.

Either way, I don't mind that the packages didn't arrive and you shouldn't either. I have a stockpile of "real food" that isn't just staple crops, the Cookalizer does a good job of making them taste like something, and I do have a Alimentator, but I try not to use it too much because that stuff isn't free-use and I can't exactly gather any Grist or resources out here, same reason why I've mostly been saving my Alchemiter for air filters and other low-cost "maintenance" needs. I will survive. You should focus more on your own survival, particularly the "I might be in a Doomed Timeline and if I'm not then I'm the last survivor" and "my Denizen empowered one of my items and asked me to do something important with it" parts.

Also, congrats on the farm. I'm pretty sure those farm animals are Doomed because they're homeworld-originated non-player entities, so enjoy them while you can (as in "they're probably going to get wiped out with a meteor or something dumb and contrived). If you really want to help people with your food, I'd get into Alimentator hacking. Basically you can upload the food you make as a digital .ali file that other people can download and use a jailbroken Alimentator to turn it into actual food. It's really sick, but I know how to do that about as well as I know how to actually cook (and I'm not really in a position to begin learning considering the scarcity of resources). Luckily the Alimentator/Sburban Cooking community might be as big if not bigger than the Gamebreaking community, so there's a lot of resources out there that will help you get started. If you do end up getting into it (and not dying because of your current predicament), once I land in an actual Session I'll be searching through your .ali file upload for my first meal.

[blade-that-was-broken]

The thing that gets me in the movies is “what is the reason why JD kept the stupid funderdrawers that Clay didn’t even want” i know it’s like a gag but treating it seriously is funny and I can think of only two potential reasons why he both made Clay wear them and also kept them afterwards.

the first one is that they were like a brand name thing advertised to kids that 8 year old Clay saw when shopping and he begged JD to buy for him and John was like “I’m not buying a 3 pack that costs $60 no way” and Clay begged and JD told him he’d buy them but they had to last for at least like 3 years at that price. And 1 month later Clay was sick of them and JD was like “tough shit bro” cause he was also an immature preteen at that age. He found them when he went back to the tree and kept them because they had belong to Clay and reminded him of how stupid that whole thing was. despite the fact that they were a biohazard and he eventually ended up putting them in a display when he got an intervention from his friends for his hoarding problem and had to organize all his memorabilia in a way that didn’t result in giant piles on the floor.

The other option is that the company that sold em was one of the brozone sponsors and somehow wearing em was part of Clays contract as a celebrity. And that Clay had like a million pairs of them one of which ended up in JDs stuff when he went back to the tree and grabbed a bunch of stuff and he was missing his brothers who he thought were all dead and he couldn’t bear to throw them out because they belonged to his dead brother despite the fact that they were a biohazard and he eventually ended up putting them in a display when he got an intervention from his friends for his hoarding problem and had to organize all his memorabilia in a way that didn’t result in giant piles on the floor.

Anyway this is thinking way to deeply on a movie gag that is admittedly a semi important plot point in the film but I think it’s interesting to consider that JD probably had a hoarding problem of some kind because he had literally all the childhood stuff from grandmas pod with him in Rhonda. It’s definitely one thing to take important memories but JD clearly took almost everything and still had it by the start of the third movie at least 20 years later, Poppy did not notice any indication in that pod that 5 childhoods went through there which is why she didn’t suspect that branch was part of brozone or that he had siblings. 5 boys living in a small house together is not a easy thing to hide evidence of… like John must have took literally everything in the pod that belonged to one of his brothers or contained some sort of reference to his little brothers his parents or himself with him he only didn’t take his grandmas macrame with him cause that was like one of the only personal items in the pod besides the one Brozone record of the failed performance that John presumably didn’t want to take.

Ngl I could totally see the first one happening. I actually have four younger siblings and I’ve seen this wayyyyy too many times. Granted, my parents had a better grasp on the term no though lol But I imagine it's different for parentified siblings - especially really young teen siblings

As for the concept of JD having a hoarding problem I actually have a really hard time seeing that. Dude has been perpetually camping and hiking for 20 years. And sure, Rhonda is big and stuff but I honestly can’t see him having that type of problem with what he does.

I think he took everything he possibly could because he thought they were dead. We know at VERY LEAST he thought Branch was dead. My guess is since he didn’t know everyone else left the tree, he probably thought they were dead too.

That kind of devastation and grief - especially for someone like JD who really loves his brothers - I can’t even imagine. I would probably try to take everything I could that was theirs too. It probably wasn’t a methodical thing either, like him going through stuff to see what he wanted to take. It was probably more like just grabbing anything he could.

[jarateblog]

My Rambly Complaints on Orbital's Optical Delusion

Not that anybody who reads this is really going to care, but felt like getting my thoughts put out somewhere, since I don't really have a spot on my website to put this stuff currently (and I'm still trying to stay off Twitter for the most part and its word cap would only get in the way anyways)

I've been a massive fan of Orbital's for a couple years now, and would call Snivilisation one of my favorite albums that hits me on multiple emotional levels when sitting down to listen to it in its entirety. In Sides, The Middle of Nowhere, the Brown Album, and The Altogether are more of some of what I would consider masterpieces from them, although none of their albums are bad in my opinion. This album, however, is probably the one I've been the most frustrated with due to a variety of reasons.

The lead up to this album was an absolute shitshow, to start, because the brothers clearly weren't in contact with their social media manager enough (or their social media manager was just super incompetent at their job), self-leaking songs before their official announcements, and just announcing the album about 3 months before its release. Each version of the album available is different too, the digital and vinyl releases being the most basic, while there are 3, count 'em, 3, different versions of CDs you can get: one basic, one with a separate bonus CD, and one with included bonus tracks (all three are completely different and barely vary in price). This isn't to mention how NONE of these were explained until about ONE WEEK before the album's release, fucking up many peoples' pre-order plans (and prevented me from even pre-ordering the album in the first place as a result, especially as a US citizen who gets fucked with ~20 pound shipping costs). There was a super expensive (and limited) blu-ray edition that is the only "complete" package, with all bonus tracks (minus one), with surround mixes as a bonus, but, obviously, not everybody has the money (or set up) to settle for that package. Then, there was the whole stupid N(o) F(ucking) T(hanks) shit they pulled about a week before its release too, a clear last minute ploy to squeeze a couple extra bucks out of some idiots who believe in that shit.

Funny, then, for how obviously political/environmental this album is that they wanted to sell it through such incomprehensible means. I know that sometimes labels can get in the way of music releases, but the absurdity of all this cannot be just the result of some publisher's stupidity. So, I feel everybody, especially including the band, needs to take blame for this shit. This is stuff that is actually getting in the way for normal people to just listen to music, and I wouldn't be surprised if this album ends up under-performing as a result.

About the actual quality of the album, that's very subjective, and it shouldn't surprise anybody that I am pretty sour and my opinions are biased, even if I went in with as much of an open mind as I could. There are good tracks here, but most feel extremely under-developed for Orbital's standards (and learning that none of the tracks were actually worked in collaboration between the brothers strengthens this belief).

The always common political messages for Orbital albums here are also extremely on the nose, making it annoying when I have to read every other comment on posts regarding the album complaining from dense right-wing dickheads about how they want all their music to be 'non-political.' I obviously wholly support Orbital in continuing to push their messages, but the way they do it here is far from subtle or tongue in cheek (like in almost any of their previous albums). If I'm leaning on the same side of the political spectrum that they seem to be on, and I am finding their messages to be forced or cringey, then I think there is something wrong with the presentation of the message.

Notably, the album's themes revolving around the pandemic are almost 3 years behind the time it would have made the most impact. The pandemic still affects us today, yes, but they relay their message as if the damn thing just started a month ago. It would be more impactful and relevant if the focus was more on the people who still refuse to believe the virus exists, and how that affects the rest of us, but the messages don't go any further than "the virus sucks," or "the government doesn't care about us."

I find the only standout song on here to be "Are You Alive?," which is still a bit weak in the lyrical department, and feels like it has nothing to add for the last 4 minutes when the vocals get done in the first 3. The radio edit of it was horribly done though (although radio edits never do justice to Orbital's songs), cutting off the end of the track ungracefully and shortening the space between the main lyrics before there is time to let the music speak. It's unfortunate, because this song had potential to be one of their best in their whole catalogue.

I only recently got to listen to some of the bonus tracks (because somebody had to sneakily upload them on to Youtube), and it's a damn shame they weren't included on the main album (which is already under an hour in length, so come the fuck on with that). They are perhaps some of the best developed tracks out of this release, and it's completely insane that nobody told whoever was in charge to just put them all in the one package (hell, it would even further justify the album being a 2xLP, since the fact its only 51 minutes is just a waste of vinyl plastic at this point).

I'm just extremely frustrated with this release. While Monsters Exist in 2018 was one of my least favorite albums of theirs up until this point, I could still listen to it in basically any way I wanted to without issue, and it gave me plenty of time to develop my thoughts on what is still a great album of theirs. This album, on the other hand, actively prevents me from experiencing some of its best material, and the main experience does not hold much to me on its own. This is the first time I can say that I dislike an Orbital album, and it pains me to say it, after holding all 30 years of their output beforehand in high regard. I can't help but feel like this was made to just put some extra cash in their pockets, since Paul Hartnoll's solo work probably isn't making him that much money and who knows what the hell Phil does outside of the band.

[kakujis]

i've finished the demo! do you think the last scene will change depending on origins? there is a possibility like alchemist would be more link to leander. it's advertised as a dark gothic romance novel for mature audiences but i think since the game is nowhere near finish, they cannot put an age rating on it yet.

oh, i didn't realised you could add additional items to your tier, i'm new to kickstarter so i have no idea lol. that's good but i've heard the cost of the shipping is pretty expensive too.

ais might be the true route for the game like with other otome games, you have to play the characters in certain order to reach the final/canon ending/route.

there are character sheets??? i feel like mhin is a character that grow on you and leander is the ideal one to start with and vere, you either love or hate him.

really? i thought ais intro was intense esp with that soundtrack! his music theme is the most memorable one. if there are changes, hopefully they will just add more piercings to sen or something like that considering she already have a nose ring.

elyon (?), i felt like he was deliberately designed like that because of his mysterious brief profile information like trying to find the one thing that money can't buy.

what do you think the potential new stretch goals could be? i think we are at the last one. i hope they add more physical merc for the basic tiers then because a lot of fans had chosen them.

omg maybe! i know each origin comes with its own special trait of some sort!! i wanna play sum more when i get home later this week!!! wbu?? r u gonna play thru again using a diff origin? alsooo my fren actually did play thru as alchemist and the dialogue for kuras in particular are diff!! not sure about leander but i thought about that too!!

also yesyes!!! on the touchstarved blog theres chara sheets for all of em! it tells u what they like + dislike alongside their fatal flaw! leanders is cut out im pretty sure soo im sooo curious abt hims. :3 also omg real! mhin is soooososososo pretty eee n i do enjoy their personality buuut, leander is def ideal eep!! vere is super cute to me, but i feel like id stutter to talk to him irl and then perish cus i give in too easily LMAOOO

also yes!! i agree w sen!! give her more piercings shes so damn hot im passing OUT!!! also also, i think leander n vere’s intros kinda swooped me away…. like i literally was dming my friend like: PLs i hope its not vere next ill pass out AND DIE… and then he showed up n i died. poof. GONE. (；ω；)

okok so the whole ais thing w me was like, hmmm. ur hot yes and ur music slaps but that was about it for me! i agree it was really intense! IM NOT EVEN SURE WHY i just felt like. nuffin towards him when i played it LOL. but the scene where he almost borderline kills tht one dude was so hot fusjdjjdjdjkaka. i have a whole lil drabble rn about ais and said alleyway…. im … hes…. hes so. (>_<)… on the floor SOBBING!!! if he is the true route i wont b mad!!! like they do put him in the middle of all the promo art sooo… i could see leander being a true route also. hes soo sweet. i wanna *** him.

yea yea i also agree abt elyon! he’s super handsome tho i bet his route will be great! i wonder what his personality will be like doe… like condescending? rude? patronizing?? hmm hmm. ohh also b4 i forget! yesyes u can change ur tier n do add-ons on the page! it’ll say edit tier or somthin like that! i think shipping will probs b 15 but i am a fool w a lil bit of extra monies. ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

personally i gots nooo clue for stretch goals but im the same thinking as u!! im praying for more physical merch. I WAN AN AIS DAKIMURA PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS telepathically trying 2 connect w the devs rn… HEAR MY PLEAS!!!

[synthcryptid]

one of our biggest pet peeves with modding communities is "texture enhancement" projects that're literally just the game's vanilla textures but ai-upscaled. and we hate that these projects end up getting more praise than other asset improvement projects despite being way less work to pump out

for a lot of older games, textures looking blurry is usually due to way more than just texture size alone! rather, it's usually due to a combination of performance concessions (older hardware usually necessitated having as few textures present as possible, which often results in UV maps becoming horrendously overcrowded, among other implications), genuine mistakes (it's pretty common to see textures with a lot of unused space, even with crowded UVs!), and a lack of modern knowledge (because let's face it, the further back the year, the more likely it is that a game's art team didn't really know what they were doing from a tech standpoint)

for asset improvement projects from folks who know what they're doing, it's entirely possible to get higher-quality results out of a game whilst using the same amount of memory and vram, and without impacting performance on modern hardware (or in some cases, genuinely improving performance), just by simply working smarter with a given game's engine than the original devs did! even moreso when considering modern hardware is often far better optimized for operations that older hardware struggled with (polygon rendering in particular stands out as being hilariously cheap nowadays, to the point where extra polys can lead to better performance, such as by trimming transparency overdraw, or by avoiding transparent textures entirely)

but a lot of ai-upscaled "texture enhancement" projects don't recognize any of this at all. they usually just upscale every single texture (even ones that really don't need upscaling, like normal maps), usually to an unreasonable degree (it's quite common to see even the smallest objects end up with 4k textures in these projects), which in turn results in a lot of wasted vram and hard drive space (texture size has an exponential cost!). some of these projects would probably benefit heavily from even the simplest of UV map adjustments (again, unused UV space is quite common!), but whenever these projects try modifying meshes, usually the only change is subdividing 'em to an absurd degree and calling it a day.

"enhancement" projects that use ai-upscaling in lieu of actual art and tech skill don't deserve anywhere near the level of praise they get

[kariachi]

Kelpie Thoughts for my AUs

Out-of-Town Kelpies: more commonly hunt for their food, prefer sapients if they can get ‘em since they’re their natural prey but are perfectly willing to take large livestock or wildlife if push comes to shove, will come into town and purchase meat (for a faerie’s idea of purchasing) if necessary, generally when the hunting is shit or the water’s frozen over

In-Town Kelpies: mostly purchase their food (for a faerie’s idea of purchasing), will turn to hunting if they get hungry enough, are more likely to eat a person when hunting than rural kelpies just because that’s what’s there

All Kelpies: don’t generally travel far from their chunk of running water once they’ve claimed one, are magically drawn to water- while they don’t need access to it they get very uncomfortable and antsy after too long out of it, never hunt far from a body of water and never without a straight shot to it, do always pay for food they buy but how varies (sometimes you get cash, sometimes you get cattails, sometimes you get gold, sometimes you get blessed, it all depends on the individual and circumstance and such) as well as whether their payment covers the worth of the item, in-town kelpies are more likely to cover costs that out-of-town kelpies but out-of-town kelpies tend to overpay by far more

There are laws in place to standardize what’s considered murder from a kelpie, given they’re literally the natural predator of three of Earth’s native sapients and also possibly closely related to Greater Dragons though scientists are still working on that shit (taur, naga, kelpies, all species scientists are going ‘just how close to the dragons are you, on an evolutionary scale?’). It’s generally accepted that for a hunt to not constitute murder the kelpie must 1) actually eat the fucker, if you don’t eat them and it wasn’t self defense it’s murder, 2) not have prior association with the individual, because at that point the benefit of the doubt gets shaky, 3) avoid targeting impaired individuals, no grabbing the drunk guy just in case somebody else is trying to use a bitch to commit murder, and 4) drown the individual in the kelpie’s river/stream/creek or in an artificial body of water on property owned and posted as such by said kelpie. Makes hunting more of a bitch, but since most kelpie either live alone out in the wilderness or are hitting the butcher instead it’s not really much of an issue.

“But Achi, why-” People realized that the totally-not-fae predators would start laying nasty curses if you just tried to arrest any old fucker who ate somebody for murder, but if you got some more-or-less fair rules down they’d roll with it and generally accept punishments.

Kelpies grant a damn fine blessing, but also a mean-ass curse when they want to. The big stuff isn’t normally worth putting in the magic, but minor powers have risen and fallen in the shadow of a kelpie.

Waterside safety is a much bigger discussion and often includes “do not approach/keep a respectful distance from strangers around running water”.

From most to least common, Earth native sapients in the standard centaur au- Humans - Taur - Kumari - Kelpies - Naga/Greater Dragons (population of the latter unknown) - Lemurians

[notthatitmatters9897]

I don’t really know what to say to you. No matter what I say or don’t say it’s an attack anyways so I guess there’s nothing to lose by speaking my mind. I doubt you’ll ever read it anyways.

You told me I don’t get to ‘swoop in & act like I suddenly care about you’ tonight. As if us being at odds was ever my choice. You’ve lost so many people closest to you and you can never put your finger on the ‘why’. Well, I can tell you why. You have been angry since you were a little boy. And you never healed; granted you never actually tried to. So you’re still the angry little boy, you haven’t changed at all. You’re still mad at dad for loving our step mom & wanting her to be his beneficiary, you’re still angry at our mom for not being supportive enough of you, you’re angry at me because you can’t face the shame of how you’ve tried to hurt me and deface my reputation to friends & family. You are just angry, you cling to it, it’s part of your personality now. The martyrdom I can only imagine. The constant black sheep behavior, reminding everyone around you that they need to tip toe around you in order to have a space in your life, and heaven forbid they ever called you out- because then they would have to deal with your wrath. “Drink my piss” you told me tonight. Because I was worried about you. Because I confided in our parents about it. Angry, angry little boy. Your hatred taints you, your hatred has pushed the people who love you the most away.

You tell everyone how alone you feel, you drink, you do coke, you rely on your therapist to tell you that what you’re doing is ok. But when someone has a complaint or a concern, you lash out with such malicious undertones that it genuinely scares me to think of how you will one day boil over and hurt someone/something else. But none of that matters, because I won’t speak another word about you to anyone. It’s not worth the price I’ve paid to care about you. You are an incredibly expensive person to care about. You are a black hole, nothing I have ever invested in you has ever been returned to me. I have swallowed so much pride to make our family feel comfortable- you included- when it was never my job to. You’re so focused on how others perceive you when you have zero control over it, yet you make such a mess of your reputation despite it all. You are reckless and you don’t value the ones who care for you. Yet you wonder why you don’t have friends anymore. It kinda makes me laugh actually when I think about how you have dedicated so much hatred toward me, how I’m one of the least deserving of it, considering I haven’t done anything to genuinely harm you or your job. That was you who did unto me. But who’s counting? (You are)

Our parents will always protect you no matter the cost. So you can have em. Enjoy.

I don’t really want to be apart of this family anymore anyways. Every single one of yall is toxic anyway. Alec is the only one who I trust & care about anymore. The generations of dismissal and avoidance ends with me. You can carry on your path knowing good & well it will all catch up to you anyways. I don’t need to tell you that. You’ve been running from your own karma for years. And despite life already kicking your ass left and right you continue to ignore the lesson.

All is well, though. You want to know why? Because I’m surrounded by people who give a fuck about me, and instead of making myself the victim and the martyr I just accept things that come to me as they are. I don’t ask ‘why me’ or try to control or threaten those who don’t perceive me the way I want them to. I have friends, I have a job that cares about me, I have a community that has allowed a million connections for me to access if I ever needed. I have never worried anyone about my actions. I have never drank so heavily & drove my car to get a DUI (that was you) the only friends I have lost have been at MY discernment, none of my friends have given up on me due to my selfishness & lack of self awareness (that was you) I didn’t try to get my brother fired at the job HE got for me (oh yeah, that was you!)

You called me a whore in front of my boyfriend, our aunt & uncle, brother, and your roommate for sleeping with 1 other coworker before I started dating Matt. Yet you’ve slept with multiple coworkers now! One that’s too young to even get a drink with you! You’re doing drugs that you used to mock others about it! You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met!

You are so incredibly lucky to have a family that gives a shit about you & your alarming behavior despite how awful you’ve treated some of us- yet you punish us when we try to tell you we care, maliciously, and borderline violently. no one is perfect when they react out of fear. We may not being showing you the way you want us to; but it’s all coming from a place of love, you’re just ungrateful as fuck about it. You are the only person I’ve ever met who has intimidated everyone who cares about you into tip toeing around your fragile feelings. So easily angered and your anger is so misdirected. We all know it has nothing to truly do with me, or your ex girlfriends, or your parents, or the friends who’ve died, or your job, or your school. It has 100% everything to do with how much you hate yourself. It’s plain as day to everyone except for you.

& then you wonder why no one wants to tolerate your bullshit anymore. You are exhausting to care for. It’s like you’re screaming for help through your actions and then you bring out your claws & fangs the second someone expresses to you their concerns. Like a cornered animal, really. It all just feels so….. Neanderthal. lol you are so insecure about your own feelings that you beg for attention yet despise those who give it to you. We used to be so close. It’s really nothing but a tremendous shame. But you’re never going to look inward. You’ve turned your trauma into something uglier than it already was. You are the accumulation of your own undiscovered anger and hatred. You ooze it. Your vibration is so unpleasant to so many.

There will be a day that you see things from my perspective (hopefully) by then. I’ll be long gone, living a life that I created for myself out of the amount of love & forgiveness I have devoted to my own life. You will be exactly where i left you, exactly where you’ve been for years. Just an angry, hateful, little boy. Get well soon, bro.

[incaensio]

Katniss: [Coin] Thank you for your bravery in taking part in the mission to District Twelve. Few know devastation as intensely than those impacted by the bombings within that District. So I wanted to check in. How are you after witnessing the true aftermath?

they've lain off of her, these past days. katniss is under no impression this will be permanent, or even long lasting — she expects the tattoo in her arm to tell her a slot for the command room or propo filming, but it doesn't. there's almost a respectfulness to it she hadn't expected, to allow her some minimal mourning for cinna, but katniss is too cynical to entirely believe that; it's more likely she is so pumped up with sedatives they don't think she will do any good in front of the camera, or that she will attack someone, or just scream, the way she had done while they stood, helpless, watching her stylist and dearest friend getting shot live for all of panem to see. she sees it all the time, worsening her nightmares, in which executions are its constant scenarios now, only switching out the victim: cinna, annie, cecelia, amara, even thea and, of course, peeta. she's seen him dying so many times, in so many cruel ways, cried so often whenever she wakes up, she surely must have dried herself by now.

it's that happy thought that makes her willing not to skip on the meeting when its timestamp finally appears on her arm; she's surprised that this one is a quiet one, the room barely vacant if only for the usual guards, boggs, and the president. frankly, she'd rather have the opposite. that way, she could at least pretend not to be the center of attention — and, at times, it's actually true; there's only so much the face of the rebellion can do, and they certainly doesn't think talking and planning is one of those things — but that's robbed of her. coin's voice is uncharacteristically saccharine, but katniss' expression remains impassible, tension still in her spine, wariness trying to remain strong even under the diminishing sedation. she's been around another president with sweet words, and she's sworn not to make that mistake twice. don't trust them, katniss. she doesn't.

that's not to say her words doesn't spark with the truth — katniss had tried to stand strong, spending hours going around the town, then the seam, then the woods, walking, talking, sharing, even singing, but that strength feels all gone now. she can still smell twelve, feel the way it felt under her heel, taste the bile that rose up her throat. she tightens her jaw. "not great." ever eloquent, she thinks. maybe she should work harder, considering she has been told several times that the cost to fly her to other districts is enormous, but it's not like they're doing this for free or for the goodness of their heart. surely some of what they've filmed must have aired, even before cinna's death — they're always quick with those things, in here (she'd complain if she wasn't glad that the fastest they did this, maybe the least all of this would drag out).

"twelve's not what ailin' me, though." she looks down from the wig to the woman's eyes for the first time since she's entered the room. "how much longer you're goin' to wait to get 'em out, ma'am?" the reference is as pointed as her words. "are you waitin' for another execution?"