#but EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS ?? ON SALE ???? HELLO ????

[disengaged]

just bought an alexander mcqueen skirt for $50 at a fundraiser clothing sale & looked it up when i got home, this shit was on sale for $800 on a reseller website???

[avian-writes]

"Used Tombstone for Sale. One Only."

Putting classified ads in the newspaper was both easier and more difficult than I expected. Easy to walk into the office, fill out the paper given to me, and hand over the appropriate amount of money. Difficult to ignore the looks the clerk woman gave me as I hobbled in on my own and at what I requested.

But I suppose they had a rule against asking too many questions, lest they insult the people who essentially pay their wages. So she took my ad request and money and told me it’d run for the following week. Hopefully one week was all I’d need. Short as the ad was, it took what coins I had left.

Outside the bystander office, my pink and white bike was thankfully still where I left it tied with frayed rope to a lamp post. One of the training wheels was stuck on a crack in the curb and I struggled to yank it loose.

The sun was still rising as I peddled and peddled down Main St, taking the long way to avoid Mulkey Road. It’d already been 5 weeks since, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go anywhere near the road sign, much less take a stroll down. Even if it added 10 extra minutes to my pumping legs commute.

The back road past Main St was still in a somber mood. Doors stay closed and windows locked. Gates were chained and flower boxes sat empty to collect rainwater. Not a hint or hue of color to be seen as I biked past the houses. Somehow even the painted wood dulled in the time passed.

My silent home sat near the end of the road. The smallest, but with the most land. Enough for my father’s workshop in clear view of the neighborhood. A workshop that was bigger than the actual house: a simple one bedroom home with a small kitchen and living room combo. My father always insisted the bedroom belonged to me, even if I usually ended up sleeping on the pull out couch with him.

A pull out couch that was still out and messed up. I hadn’t found any reason to make it up or put it away. And despite the fact that all I’d done that morning was go downtown, I was exhausted. The residual heat inside was already dwindling, chill rubbing into my bones.

Creaky springs from years too long of a life under faded cushions. Wrapping myself up in the red knit blanket, scratching at my chipped blue nail polish, and shutting my eyes.

It was a few days before I got a bite. A few days of nothing but sleeping and heating up cans of soup on the stove, not going anywhere else except shuffling back and forth between the couch and kitchen. A trail of scattered dust wove from the couch cushions to the front of the stove.

Somehow the phone hadn’t been cut off yet, and the loud ring jostled me from a nightmare of red stained concrete. “Hello?”

“I’m calling about the ad in the paper? For the- the t-tombstone?”

I bolted up, getting tangled in my blankets in the process. “Yes! Yes. That’s me. I mean- you’re interested?”

“I am. How- how much is the asking price?”

“Oh, um.” Damn it. I hadn’t even thought about that. No amount of money would keep me in the house indefinitely, and I had just enough food left until the end of the month when the late payments would finally collapse on me. “Eight hundred?”

“E-even though it’s used?”

“Well, it is a very nice tombstone. Black granite and doves engraved in the corners. No chips, scratches, or anything like that.” I took very good care of it.

The buyer was a young person, which I was grateful for. Young burying the old was the best way to go and I don’t think I could’ve choked down taking eight hundred dollars from some poor parent or grandparent who lost their child. No matter how much I needed it.

Around 30 years old and shaking feverishly as soon as she stepped out of the car. The buyer drove an old red Camaro with a dented bumper and one missing rearview mirror. A long riding trailer was hooked to its hitch.

Average height with plain clothes. Long blonde hair pulled into a twisted braid that I thankfully saw through the living room window. I briefly braided my own crinkling hair and stared at myself in the mirror.

It would do well enough.

The buyer saw the tombstone waiting in the front yard and stumbled on the walkway. I sucked in a breath and waited, but she quickly collected herself. I had given simple but important instructions that I watched her follow from the safety of my home.

The money was placed in an envelope that she took from a crossbody bag and dropped delicately on the front stoop. The tombstone was already on a pad of felt that she took hold of and easily dragged it across the unruly grass and onto the trailer.

She was sweating by the time it was safely on, but I could see hints of muscle working away under her shirt sleeves. She latched up the small gate on the back of the trailer, hopped in the car, and with one last fleeting glance at my home, sped away with the tombstone.

I waited until she was just down the road before exiting. My bike was ready, the rusty wire basket’s contents hidden under a dish towel. The chain squealed when I initially pushed it out of the grass and onto the road, but once I got it turning it cracked enough to not fall apart.

The funeral parlor, the only one within 50 miles, wasn’t too far into town. Thanks to the minimal speed limits, I was able to catch up to the buyer fairly quickly. Even with my ankle getting knocked by the revolving petal every other wheel spin, the tombstone on the trailer slowed down her Camaro enough.

The buyer stopped outside the funeral parlor and walked inside. I waited across the road, hidden by large, ornamental bushes. I watched as the undertaker and his assistant came out with the buyer withering away behind them. The assistant took the buyer’s car and the undertaker and buyer got into the waiting hearse around the side.

They all left in a shortened processional and I dutifully joined. I peddled and peddled, my knees growing weary the farther the hearse went. Canned beans and salsa on stale bread was proving to be a poor diet to do so much exercise on. I had been too cowardly to confront the buyer in person and ask the location of the funeral and this was my punishment.

Finally, a reprieve. The hearse turned off the main road onto a gravel path leading towards. It slowed to a crawl, the tires crunching over the small rocks as it headed through a large iron gate.

I hopped off my bike, my bones cracking from the soreness built up, but kept pushing on after it with my bike in tow. It was a cemetery, not a graveyard thankfully, dug into the side of a hill downspout from the forest surrounding town. The gravel path curved down and to the left to the bottom of the hill where a small group of people had already gathered.

The hearse stopped and so did I. Hidden in the shadows of the forest, I watched the buyer get out of the car and solemnly walk to the group of mourners who accepted her with open, teary arms. They climbed the hill to a marked plot while the undertaker began to extract the casket from the hearse.

The mourners were a small handful of people. A few women had hand fans that cracked as they were thrust open. A man in a bowler hat stood over the casket with a reserved face, save the clear discontent upon seeing the tombstone.

Only the buyer showed any real emotion. Remorse for the small affair. Sorrow for her loss. Gratitude for the warm bodies, however reclused they were, surrounding her. Somber for the distasteful weather the funeral had to be held in. Disdain at the mismatched tombstone to the body that now was being nudged into the soil.

I listened to the typical words: short prayers and generic stories, some that weren’t even true but who was going to fact check? Compliments and farewell wishes. Nothing bad was said. Nothing a true testament to his true character, whatever it was. No one ever spoke ill about the dead until the grave was out of sight and alcohol was in their system.

No flowers were thrown on the casket before it was covered up. No further tears were shed. All attendants shuffled away and down the hill, thankfully not in my direction. Back towards the gate.

The undertaker and his assistant shook the buyer’s hand before taking the hearse away. She turned her head to the sky, staring into the bleak overcast. It was almost melancholy, the picturesque scene before me on the hill.

The buyer carefully stepped down the hill, the freshly cut grass still attacking her legs.

I took her place

I could see it. The tombstone was at the head of the freshly filled grave. Beautiful flowers already adorned the soil and I knelt to brush some aside to read the inscription.

Edward Dalca

Beloved father

I thought about what the undertaker had told the buyer. It would be a few days before he could change the words. It was eerie and a bit haunting to think that the people who had just grieved a complete stranger had done so to my father’s name.

I took my little trowel from my bike’s basket and started to dig. 

Somewhere nearby, I could hear a scream that was cut off by a gasp for breath. I guess the buyer either hadn’t gotten far or was coming back to say another goodbye farewell see you later.

Hurried footsteps behind me, sharp nails digging into my shoulders and she yanked back. Screaming in my face, obscenities that would make the paperboy blush. None of which I think I heard. I was too focused on the grave behind her.

He’d been buried shallow, the buyer’s great uncle. That and with even my sad excuse for a shovel, I had gotten to the body before the buyer found me.

I leapt forward and shoved her; she was too busy yelling at the corpse to notice my sudden movement.

My trowel cut into everything. Dirt, rocks, bones, flesh. Mixing fresh and old blood into the deathly soil, fertilizing it like a macabre gardening project. On the edge of the cemetery while the screams of the buyer were quickly snuffed out by chokes and desperate pleas for relief.

My necklace came free during all this. My name, Nyssa Dalca, was spelled out in shiny white beads amongst polished smooth stones. Granite and limestone. The same many of the tombstones surrounding us were made from.

Finally, the sounds died down and the buyer stayed put in the shallow grave. I wiped off my trowel against the exposed casket and the buyer’s shirt and swept the upheaved dirt on top. Patting down the grave flat like burying a box containing your first deceased childhood pet. That, as a child you don’t realize, doesn’t like its claws being painted blue.

Standing up, I pulled my blonde hair into a twisted braid; picking up a stick from the forest floor to stab right through the unfamiliar strands, keeping it in place. I was still a bit hungry from my meager breakfast, and according to the undertaker’s assistant, there was a dinner being held at the diner nearby.

Selling my father’s tombstone hurt initially, but his journal and final letter to me was clear it needed to be done. I write this, my first account, to compare to his. He made a living for a good 76 years and, in his letter, assured me I could do the same.

Leaving me so young wasn’t part of the plan, and I have no idea what I’m going to do next, but at least with these muscles I can get started in his workshop. Another tombstone will need to be made.

[aacd2020]

公开公示犯罪证据:We citizens and companies: Report to the Government of Canada :(Public disclosure of criminal evidence)

Dear Government of Canada, Department of Justice, Department of Security, Department of Taxation: Leader: Your Excellency: Hello!

To Canada, public disclosure, real terrorist robbery.(debt evidence + trial evidence + judgment evidence), I am (taxpayer + citizen + company). Request disclosure to Canada (government + judicial department). Disclosure :(Evidence of tax evasion and robbery)

According to the law (Income Tax Law + Constitution + Citizenship Law + Human Rights Law + Property Law + Company Law + Banking Law + Police Law + Criminal Law + Evidence Law)

1. Public disclosure of evidence: court security. Representative: National Parliament,(making laws + falsifying evidence + falsifying verdicts + committing terrorist robberies)

Enacted: "Tax Evasion Law" : One dollar "Auction Land Robbery Law" (Court Order enforcement law) greater than (Constitution + Company Law + Criminal Law)

2. Public disclosure of evidence: Housing and Land Property Office: Crimes committed on behalf of the state:

As a property custodian, save and manage hundreds of billions of dollars.(private + company property). This is a bank vault, what law is the custodian based on? B: What regulations? There is no owner. Sign and agree. Transfer for sale? National custodian, can not violate the state (Constitution + property law + criminal law) This is a terrorist robbery crime, is it the state and the law, deliberately set (loophole + trap + black market trading channel) custodian can. Black-box operation. Trading profits? Company 250 acres of land, worth 500 million Canadian dollars, custodian: "bold", in the property rights do not know, dare to quietly change the owner of the property, the amount is huge, the nature of theft, serious bad, this is: "big, big" : shocked the world "terrorist robbery,

Is this the creation of a Canadian judicial miracle? Is this a false state of law? Is this a terror state?

3, evidence public disclosure: Canadian Mounted Police headquarters :(false filing: falsified case evidence. No violation of the law. Investigation report), investigate the responsibility for the violation

4. Public disclosure of evidence: tax evasion of 250 million Canadian dollars, evidence of illegal transactions: land robbery. No cost, judicial cooperation, legal evasion of income tax? Is it a lawful act of the state? National tax law :(above all + greater than all) No one can violate the national tax law

Criminal organized crime: Several crimes combined punishment, huge amount, criminal robbery, upgraded to: terror "robbery crime:

5, public disclosure of evidence: legal robbery of company land :(debt evidence + trial evidence + judgment evidence) must be publicly publicized, can not be forged

6. Public disclosure of evidence: HSBC Bank, there are eight crimes of terrorist robbery, in violation of (Constitution + criminal law + property law + banking law + Human Rights law + Citizenship law) to determine property rights. Is private property: the use of police armed forces, robbed 20 million Canadian dollars Castle hotel private property, drove the owner of the family of four people to flee to Canada,(1. Crime of prohibiting the owner from selling the house +2. Crime of falsifying evidence of dangerous house +3. Deceiving the court: eviction. Seizure. Sale +4. Eviction of homeowner +5. Deception of community to segregate children +6. Defrauding police. Robbing a private person of substantial property +7. Trespassing on a private property. Changing locks. Theft from a private person. Antique collectibles, larceny +8. Trespassing. Trespassing, $38 million in damages to the Castle Hotel) We have evidence on the public record

7. The State of Canada: Has a duty to protect private and corporate property:

As a taxpayer, you must protect the Canadian tax code, the Constitution, protect the dignity of the law, protect the image of the country and protect national security

North American Chinese Mutual Cooperative + Yang Xuanwen

The 2024-3-15

我们公民和公司:向加拿大政府请示汇报:(公开公示犯罪证据)

最尊敬的加拿大政府,司法部,安全部,税务部:领导:阁下:您好！

向加拿大,公开公示,真实的恐怖抢劫.(债务证据+审判证据+判决证据),

我是(纳税人+公民+公司).向加拿大(政府+司法部门)要求公开.公示:(偷漏税抢劫证据)

依据法律(所得税法+宪法+公民法+人权法+物权法+公司法+银行法+警察法+刑法+证据法)

1,证据公开公示:法院保安.代表:国家议会,(制定法律+伪造证据+伪造判决+实施恐怖抢劫)

制定:”偷漏税法律”:一元钱”拍卖抢劫土地法”(法院命令执行法)大于(宪法+公司法+刑法)

2,证据公开公示:房屋土地产权局:代表国家违法犯罪:

作为财产���管员,保存管理数千亿.(私人+公司财产).这是银行金库, ,保管员依据什么法律?什么规定？没有产权人.签字同意.转移过户出售? 国家保管员,不能违反国家(宪法+物权法+刑法)这是恐怖抢劫犯罪,难道是国家和法律,故意设置(漏洞+陷阱+黑市交易通道)保管员可以.暗箱操作.交易分利?公司250英亩土地,价值5亿加元,保管员:”胆大包天”,在产权人不知情,竟敢悄悄,更改产权人,金额巨大,偷盗性质,严重恶劣,这是:”天大,地大”的:震惊世界”恐怖抢劫,

这是创造加拿大司法奇迹? 这是虚假法治国家?这是恐怖国家?

3,证据公开公示:加拿大骑警总部:(虚假立案:伪造案件证据.没有违法.调查报告),追究违法责任

4,证据公开公示: 偷漏2.5亿加元税,违法交易证据:抢劫土地.没有成本,司法合作分利,合法躲避所得税?属于国家合法行为?国家税法:(高于一切+大于一切)任何人,不能违反国家税法

犯罪组织犯罪: 数罪并罚,金额巨大,刑事抢劫,升级为:恐怖”抢劫犯罪:

5,证据公开公示: 合法抢劫公司土地:(债务证据+审判证据+判决证据)必须公开公示,不能伪造

6,证据公开公示:汇丰银行,有八条恐怖抢劫罪,违反(宪法+刑法+物权法+银行法+人权法+公民法)确定产权.是私人财产:动用警察武装力量,抢劫2000万加元城堡宾馆私人财产,驱赶房主全家人四人逃亡离开加拿大,(1.禁止房主卖房罪+2.伪造危险房证据罪+3.欺骗法院:驱逐.扣押.出售罪+4.驱逐房主出境罪+5.欺骗社区隔离儿童罪+6.欺骗警察.抢劫私人巨额财产罪+7.非法入侵私人房屋.偷换门锁.偷盗私人.古董收藏品,盗窃罪+8.非法侵犯.强占,城堡宾馆损失3800万加元费)我们有证据公开公示

7,加拿大国家:有责任保护私人及公司财产安全:作为纳税人,必须保护加拿大税法,宪法,保护法律尊严,保护国家形象和国家安全

北美中国互助合作社+杨宣文,2024-3-15

[steele-soulmate]

Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 557, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink, soft smut, grinding, assault, fingering, hand jobs, blow jobs, 69, P in V sex, blood, noncon rape, violence, death, vandalism, graffiti, attempted kidnapping, break-ins, wild animal attacks, terrorist attack (sabotage) consensual impregnation, bareback, impregnation kink, creampies, terrorist attacks (shootings) hit and run pedestrian accident, precipitous labor, neonatal death, abandoned baby

WORDS: 1153

“Hello, may I please get two one hundred dollar gift cards?” I asked the man behind the counters, accepting my purchase and handing over my credit card. “Okay, you each have a limit of a hundred dollars each. Understand?”

“Loud and clear, mommy!” Elizabeth chirped happily, dragging Katie off with her to go look at fabrics.

Just then, Tim Gunn himself walked in, leading a group of sixteen people close behind him with four cameramen flanking the group.

“OHMIGAWD, MARY CLAIRE RATAJCZYK!” freaked out a man sporting a bright green mohawk.

“Hihi there!” I greeted the group with a chuckle. “The girls are somewhere looking for fabric for Halloween costumes!”

“Ah fun!” Tim smiled before turning to give the usual budget and time limit.

“And your time starts… NOW!” Everyone scampered off, leaving Tim to come up to me for a quick chit chat.

“Hello there, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” he said to me, accepting my hand for a warm shake.“Oh, same here!” I returned the greeting, turning as Katie appeared up at the top of the stairs that led up to the top floor. “Yes, mo stór?”

“Lizz Lizz and I need help cutting a bolt of fabric,” she announced, leading both Tim Gunn and I over to where three Project Runway participants were helping Elizabeth, two flattening the fabric out and the one carefully measuring two and a half yards for Elizabeth to cut.

“Thank you!” Elizabeth chirped happily, finishing her task before neatly folding up the fabric and setting it into her bag. “Okay- Katie! We have fabric for Baby Tommy’s Snow White and little girl’s Ariel- next, is your Raya, my Rapunzel, Aria’s Anna and Evie’s Elsa!”

“Oh, the twins got back to you?” I asked as the next went to look between a creamy white and a dark parchment colored fabric next for Katie’s Halloween costume.

“Elizabeth was just telling us about making clothes for all the wee ones!” said a man with a thick burly Scottish burr. “They sound so sweet!”

“They are, they really are!” I smiled happily. “My husband is the last person who you would honestly expect to be a father- he’s six feet eight inches of muscles and fangs, but you really shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover!”

“He’s the bestest daddy in the whole wide world!” Katie declared as she decided on the cheaper of the two fabrics, struggling to reach the bolt. A woman passing by with armfuls of fabric noted and set her shopping basket down off to the side to help the Asian American girl, patting her head affectionately before going off on her way.

“He is, he really is!” Elizabeth added in, finding a soft and warm brown wool that was 85% off from twenty dollars a yard. “Seventeen dollars a yard? Does that sound right?”

“That does sound right!” said a young woman dressed in all black with an outrageously pierced left ear, who was passing by with a bolt of black velvet. “Wow, you can math!”

“I can’t math at all!” Katie frowned as she packed the new fabric into her basket. “I have dyscalculia.”

“Ah, that would make things a heapsful more difficult!” a man in a pink dress said, comparing two different shades of orange.

“You have no idea!” she grumbled.

“Yeah, well, that’s why you have me for your sister!” Elizabeth piped in just then, finding a beautiful ice blue satin over in the SALE area for 65% percent off at ten dollars a yard. “Oh, this will work perfectly for Evie!”

“I can embroider snowflakes onto the fabric!” Katie offered happily.

“Do you use an embroidery machine or do you do it all by hand?” asked a man with dark black skin and a heavy accent.

Katie happily showed off her skirt, which had the Chinese words for fun, love, believe and other such words embroidered in gold. This had all the participants of the latest season of Project Runway clustered tightly around her, oohing and aweing over her careful work.

“I work on my embroidery at school when I finish my work early,” she explained, smiling as a Chinese girl was admiring her hard work. “My teachers are very understanding that I have a ton of nervous energy.”“Piàoliang de zuòpǐn,” she hummed softly.

“Xièxiè,” Katie said, sending the two women into a furry of Chinese words.

“You’ve raised them both to be lovely young ladies!” someone else told me.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit!” I laughed. “My husband and the family nanny both also have done an exceptional job at raising the kids!”

Tim Gun soon enough called the end of time for everyone, sending everyone over to the cash registers, Elizabeth and Katie capping the group at the ends.

“Okay Katie, your basket should come up at around eighty six dollars, and my basket is around ninety one dollars,” Elizabeth told her sister as the two girls went up to check out next.

“Your total is $106.57,” the cashier told the both of them.

“Here, I have two dollars lefts over on my card!” the man in the pink dress said, handing the cashier his gift card.

“I have fifty nine cents on mine!” the Chinese girl piped in.

“I have a dollar nineteen cents!”

“I have three dollars forty seven cents!”

“I have ninety eight cents!”

I could only chuckle as the contestants of Project Runway offered the girls their balance on their cards, ending with an exchange of hugs.

Mo stór, my dear, Irish Gaelic

Piàoliang de zuòpǐn, beautiful work, Chinese

Xièxiè, thank you, Chinese

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@ch3rry-c01a

[lanaisnotwool]

407 Dollar Cost Averaging Is a Lie

http://moneyripples.com/2020/07/13/407-dollar-cost-averaging-is-a-lie/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/06/10/407--dollar-cost-averaging-is-a-lie

Shoot me an email  at:

Chris@MoneyRipples.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Hey guys! Welcome you out for a wonderful show. A show that's for you and about you. Those of you that work so hard for your money and you're ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! You want that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not a bazillion years from now, but right now. So you can have that life that you love because you work because you want to. Not because you have to. Be with those you love. Doing whatever the heck you want. But see guys, you want more than just your own comfort convenience, because as Ripplers you want to create a ripple effect in the lives of others, because as you prosper, you can help others do the same. You can show up stronger, more confident and relaxed. And you have the resources and the means to bless more lives.

And guys, that's what I'm here to do. And guys, it's not just about showing you how to make more money, right? That giving you money does not solve your problems, but showing you how to prosper, how to understand those principles of prosperity. That is a ripple effect I'm trying to create for you guys. And I appreciate you guys being a part of this movement, creating a ripple effect in your lives, which allows me to create a ripple effect through you too. And we just keep making this world a better place.

Here is a reminder. Check out our website, MoneyRipples.com. There's blogs on there. It's got videos and we've got even, you know, our Beyond Rice & Beans e-book. You can download for free. So check that out.

So today guys, I want to just express some gratitude and teach a very important concept with everything going on. One, I appreciate those of you have been reaching out to me. Especially because just almost every time you guys reach out, it's someone I can actually help. And this is exactly why I kind of came out of retirement again. Right? This is why I never fully retire because you guys give me meaning you guys give me this ability to keep doing more. And yeah, I love doing the infinite banking stuff with you guys too. Like that's amazing. And I love that I can bring something unique and powerful there that even other infinite makers aren't doing. But on top of that, when I get some of you guys that say, Hey, I think we're a perfect fit for you right now to help take our money or do something with the assets we have and make something of it to create passive income. And man, like you guys have been reaching out almost every time.

It's like, yeah, I can serve you and make a massive impact in your life. And it's awesome! So I appreciate you guys that have been reaching out. As a reminder, if you think you're in that position where you say, Hey, I've got at least a hundred thousand sitting around, or maybe I got a ton of equity in this house. Or maybe if you got a lot of depts. And you say, I've got some resource here, but I'm not sure how to make this all work. Shoot me an email. Chris@MoneyRipples.com and let's check it out. See if there's something you can do in your situation.

But today I want to get into Concept of Dollar Cost Averaging, right? And this is going to be heralded as, dollar crisis energy is going to be already been heralded as the hero for investing, right? I heard this months ago and I've even brought it up again in another podcast episode that we did. About, you know, how a dollar cost averaging is a lie. And I want to go into that and even just emphasize it a little bit deeper because the whole concept in cost dollar cost averaging is, they try to play off the whole buy low sell high. Which by the way, that is a true principle. Like you do want to buy low, sell high, or I shouldn't even say that's true principle. That's more of a strategy than a principle. But overall it does work, right? You do want to buy something at low. And of course you're going to sell it, sell it at a higher price. Right? But here's the thing is that when they tell them a dollar cost, averaging, they say, Hey, the market is going down by more.

Here's the flaw. When the market's going up, what are they telling you? Buy more. Now this is never, Hey, you know what, right now the market's going up. Don't buy anything. Right? That's the fundamental problem is that this is a sales tactic. This sales tactic has been used for you to basically get into the largest Ponzi scheme in the world, which is also known as the stock market. Right? And why do I say it's a Ponzi scheme? Because people say, well, come on there's assets. First off, you really don't have any assets. Yeah. You have shares of a company that already went public. That already made their money off of selling it off. Right? They keep their own shares that just right off of your off, you know, basically they, they they can increase in value too, based on investors and what they're doing.

But essentially you're kind of making more money because more people throwing money into it. Which is also a Ponzi scheme does. People throw money in, right? And you basically get paid from investors money. That's one of the common traits of a Ponzi scheme is that you're not making money because the assets paying you, you're making money because people are throwing money into it. Guess why the stocks go up? Not necessarily because the company's anymore valuable. Because people are throwing money in. Right? Another problem is that, you know, do you really have an asset? The truth is no. I mean, even though you might say, Hey, I got this piece of paper. It says, I have something. You really don't have squat. How you really aren't a very, you're not as significant shareholder in the first place. You think you're a little bit of, money's going to make a difference in that company?

Not at all. You're just gambling with money. You are purely a gambler when you have your money in the stock market. And so I know that's the common thing. And I know it's a sacred cow for a lot of people, but the truth is the stock market is not the place to be. And dollar cost averaging is actually the very concept to also prove that. Hey, here's, let me show you now, those either watching this video, you'll want to watch this right? If you get concepts, you know, you can create images in your mind, this will work. But I have this sheet and I showed this before. In another video. This sheet is the sheet I showed to my clients back in my traditional financial advisor days. Now this was a very useful sheet, especially in Y2K, which is when I came in, right?

Because the market was tanking. Especially 2002. That was the year I came in and that was the biggest losing market. And so we would show people, listen, when the market's going down, you want to buy more. You don't want to stop buying and jump out of the stocks. You want to buy more of this. And so I show this example. So this one, the first there's three different graphs. The first one shows you putting in $200 a month. This shows you just what kind of demographic I was dealing with. Back in those days, you're just throwing in $200 a month and their stock price started at $10, right? Or the mutual fund price start at $10 a share. So at $10 a share, you bought 20 shares because 200 divided by 10 20 shares, right? The goal of this concept is to try and buy as many shares as possible.

And then the, hopefully the price goes up right? Now, the next month you buy it at $12 a share, basically over the course of six months, he goes from 10 to $20. You bought $2 increments per share along the way. In the end, so it's $200 a month. It went from 10 to 12 to 14, to 16, to 18 to 20. Over the six months you bought 85 shares. Now 85 times $20 a share because it jumped, it doubled in price in six months puts you at 1700 bucks. Now here's the concept that I show people and say, look, now if the market was at $10 a share, but then it dropped to $8 the next month, and you're still putting in 200 bucks a month. Then down to five. Then it's set at five for another month. Then went back up to eight. And they only went back up to 10, only broke even.

Now, after doing all of that, you ended up buying 170 shares. You bought double the amount of shares of the one that was going up in price. Why? Because you bought it at a discount, right? Here's the thing. If the value was 1700 bucks, same exact value as the one that doubled in price. So even though the price stayed the same overall, you still made as much money as if it had doubled. Right? In an upward trending market. The last one, the last one of course is the most impressive one I'd show people. And this was a huge seller during Y2K. The last one shows that it started at $10 a share, right? You bought $200 a month or $200 a month. You put $200 to $10 share you buy 20 shares. The next month went down to eight. So now you're buying about 24 shares or 25 shares.

Then it went down to $5. You're like, whew, I just bought now 40 shares. And then it went down to $1 for two months in a row. So basically went down 90%. So you're buying a $1 a share. That means you buy 200 shares in one month, 200 shares again the next month. And then it only recovered up to $4, which means you still bought 50 shares. So in total now instead of 85 or 170 shares, you bought 535 shares. Now time's up by four bucks. You have 2,140, which is over 400 bucks more than the other two examples. And again, like, it's easier to see this on the video. If you're visual, the point is you bought at a discount, right? That's the thing. Here's the problem. Here is the big problem. Because again, if you're going to teach a concept, make sure it works.

Make sure that you're going to actually question what you're teaching here. Because what happens to stock market overall? Which of these three graphs is the stock market over time? Generally speaking right now, it goes up and down all over the place. Generally speaking, the market goes up over time. This is like graph number one. Sure. Doubles in price. But the truth is over time, you're really just buying on an up market. Meaning it gets more and more expensive all the time. You are not buying low. You just keep buying higher and higher. So your money actually buys less and less over time. In the other example. Yeah, sure. It goes down and comes up. Now this might look like the last four months, right? If you go from February to now, June, now these four months, it's done almost exactly this. Like the markets now come back up to where it wasn't about late February as of right now.

Right? So people are getting really excited. They said, see, Chris dollar cost averaging works. I was able to buy it when it got down cheap. When it went down like 30%, you know, when the market went down 30, almost 35%, the low, right. So I bought on sale. So look what happened. It would have been just like the market went up, but no, I've actually bought some for cheap. That's true. But here's the thing, guys. The more likely scenario at least you're looking in the next few years is actually looking closer to graph number three, when the market keeps going down. Sure. Short term, we see this little bounce going up, but guys, just the other day they announced. They announced that the, that we're in a recession. Like it's official. We are in a recession. Why did the market go right back up to where it was?

Doesn't that seem fishy to you? Why is it that, you know, we've had massive unemployment, right? We have, so think of February. February, we just heard about corona virus being out there. Like it was starting to show up a little bit in New York state. But for the most part, it was, there was a Chinese, remember people were calling it the Chinese virus, right? And then people were saying, that's rude! You shouldn't call it Chinese. Like it's not a Chinese virus. Okay. Whatever! It was a virus that we heard, first heard about starting in China. Right? So in February, just four months ago, this was hardly even a topic. It was, it was just like news of something out there. The market was about where it is now. It was even a little bit higher than it is now barely higher. Right? But now we're in a place where there's massive unemployment. People aren't quite going back to work.

Like we had hoped. Now people are starting to go back to work, but there's a lot of people not. Or worse yet. What they didn't put an emphasis on reporting is that, wages didn't go up over the last year. Wages actually went down 0.1%. So even though people haven't been hired back, they're not getting hired back, making more money. And over time you need that to happen. Or we're in big trouble because if wages go down, that's a big issue. So if we're not seeing wages go up and in fact, even they start to go down, sure. You might have a job. If you're not making enough to make ends meet, you start cutting back everything. And that affects all the other companies too. And they all make less money as well. Again, whatever stops money from exchanging is what's happening. Now, the government's trying to artificially boost it up by throwing money at you and at companies and everything else, keep people afloat. Which, cool!

I see that short term making a difference. You know that they're trying to just like a plane that's crashing. They're trying to slow the crash down by saying, Hey, let's put a little parachute on this thing as it's coming to the ground, you know, maybe it won't crash as hard. But it doesn't stop the fact that, for the most part, these are still monies that have to be paid back that are going to cut into future profits. So all this is happening. We're actually in an official recession, but still the market's bounced right back up. This should be concerning to you. Now this could be an opportunity because this could be saying, Hey, at least I made some of these losses back. If you have money in the market, right? At least you could say there's a silver lining. But I can tell you this, is that it makes zero sense for the market to stay up or even go a lot higher than where it is now.

Now some people will say, if Trump gets reelected, maybe it will. But again, we don't know. We don't know what's going to happen. We don't know. At what point will investors say, cool. We just made a bunch of money by, they actually did do this very thing, right? They did this dollar cost averaging, but in a different way. They looked at it from a very short term perspective, getting out short term. Do you think that there are people out there both in, you know, successful investors, right? And that, and now when I talk about investors, there are people that actually buy into companies that are real investors. If you're just gambling in the markets, you're not really investor, you're just gambler, but there are very experienced gamblers out there. I know because I, I taught people to gamble in the markets. I actually taught people how to trade stocks and options at one point for several years.

Here's the thing is that I would be also be telling people like if, if profits coming back up watching for any sign to sell out right away to take out profits. Like if you're doing a swing trade, you know, when you talk about swing trading, short term, hold on to a stock framework from a few days. And they worked for two weeks, right? Not much more than a few months. You're gonna start taking your money out and cashing it out now. And then waiting for things to shift and figure out where the trend is actually going in the market. There's a lot of uncertainty going on. You don't want to be trading on news and things like that. And a lot of news is affecting what's going on in the markets. So guys, there's a lot of reason to sell out of the market right now.

In fact, everything that's talking about buying, it seems a little bit, doesn't it seem a little bit fake to you? Doesn't it seem like it goes against, our actual common sense? And yes, there'll be people out there say Chris, but here's the thing. People are turning off emotion. What they foresee in the future. They see us making this V-shape recovery. They see this and that. Sure they do. But guess what? Even the feds don't even have that optimistic of a view. Maybe, the news and the hype they're trying to use is a great way to make some profits and then take their profits and run while you're left holding the bag. As you watch your money, disappear into oblivion. Do you think that's possible? Here's the real point. Either way, you have no clue what's going on. You are just gambling with your money.

When you keep it in the market, you might try to hold on to it. But here's human nature. Human nature says even when the market is going down, just like you probably did a few months ago and the markets are going down on March. Did you bail out? A good chunk of you? Some of you did. I know cause I talked to some of you, but a good chunk of you, didn't, some of you guys wrote it. You wrote it down 35%. I'm thinking, well, it's got to pop back up. Cause that was ridiculous. Yeah, you're right. That dropped way too fast. Right? It's an unlikely for something to drop that fast and not pop back up a little bit. They even call it a dead cat bounce. You know when there's no reason, it's just because it falls too fast. Just like if it goes up too fast, it has to pop back down.

There has to be balance. Same thing you probably held on to that whole wild ride. Didn't you? If you did, you're going to do it again. I guarantee it. You're going to end up saying, well, it might come back up again. You never know, like, Ooh, that came down pretty fast, but you know, it might come back up. And that's what every person has said in every recession. They said it in Y2K and they watched their retirement money disappear. And then they had to wait for their money to come back. And then when it came back. Almost came back. Then we hit the next recession, the great recession. Right? When they're like, okay, my money's almost there. Oh, I got hit again. And it wasn't till about 2015, 2016 that you finally said great. The money I had in 2000, if you didn't contribute anything to it, right?

You just let it ride. Finally. By about 2016, you said, I got my money back. That's like over 15 years guys, that you're waiting for your money to come back. That is ridiculous. Okay. Now again, I'm not saying you'd go and sell off everything. Again, I'm not going to give you those kinds of recommendations on the air or even off the air necessarily. I just want you to be fully aware of what human nature does, which is human nature does not want to sell when things go down. Human nature wants to hold on and hope that money comes back. Cause they'll, cause you'll always say the lie. You'll still lie to yourself saying, well, I don't lose money until I sell. That's true. And yet that's the very deception that keeps people losing money. Secondly, you think you're buying cheap when you buy it when it goes down. The truth is you don't. Because the best thing you could have done in this example here, right?

Is not keep buying when it goes down. If you actually knew it was, you knew what you're doing in the market, you would wait until it hit $1 a share, Hey, maybe it was even $3 a share. Let's just use that example. Let's just say that you save it for money for three, four months, right? That $200 month, you did not put in the market. But then you said I have 800 bucks now over four months, I'm going to buy a $1 a share. That's the a hundred shares. Even if you didn't do anything else and you just did that. And then maybe you bought the next month. He was like, woo. All right. It's awesome. So you bought no 200 shares. Now you're at a thousand. And then you pocket it 200 bucks. You just left it there. He said, Oh, it's coming back up.

Maybe I'll buy. But maybe I won't. Well, let's just say you did buy. Let's just say you did $4. You bought 50 more shares. That's 1,050 shares. Times four bucks. You're now at $4,200. More than double the little bounce. If you just followed it. Or get really just yeah. More than. Yup! Double. Double of what you would have done. If you just kept buying all the way down. Guys, buy low, sell high. That means you don't buy when it's tanking. You wait until after it's tanked. And everybody says the market's bad. That's when maybe if you're looking to buy in the market, that could be the time. Understand that opportunity happens. When usually people say don't buy this. This is a bad idea. That's usually the best time to buy. When everybody's saying, Hey, stay in the market. It's the best time to be in it.

That's usually the time not to be in it. You know, now there's, there's definitely voices saying, Hey, we don't know what's going on. Here's why the market's going up. Because again, they already factored in everything that's going on right now. They expected this. That's the point guys based on expectations. That means whenever there's weird, crazy news that comes out. There's no, almost no time to react. That's when they're going to buy or sell. So if there's news, that's unexpected, right? Then people buy in the market goes up. When there's news, unexpected, that's bad. Like not just good news, unexpected, but bad news unexpected. Then it goes down. We don't know what the heck is going to happen. This is the thing you are gambling. You have no clue. This is why every financial advisor, and I was taught to say this as a traditional financial advisor was, do you not buy anything?

Right? Like don't, don't try to time the market don't do any of that stuff. Just keep putting money in the market. Blindly. Just keep doing it on a regular basis. Cause you don't have the time, the training or the temperament to understand it. So just keep pulling the money in trust us as advisors, trust us that we'll guide you along the way. Guys. This is how you lose money. This is why middle America is still broke. If you want to be like everybody else and say, man, I haven't really made as much as I had thought I would in the market. And you probably have already been saying this for years. You want to keep doing that? What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Guys. I hope you understand that dollar cost averaging. Hell has a half-truth and those are the biggest lies.

The truth is buy low, sell high. The lie is that you should be buying all the time. And remember the market goes up over time anyways. Why would we keep buying what's more expensive? Why don't we want to wait? So like you're deep into a recession before you buy anything? Save up your money, then buy. If you're going to do that philosophy. If you're to trust actually what advisors have been saying. Buy at the bottom. Or buy near the bottom, when everybody's been selling out like crazy. Then maybe, and that's usually takes by the way, at least a year or two before it hits bottom. That's usually the case. It's usually takes at least a few years for you hit bottom. Just like I said, a few months ago, don't think we've hit bottom. Don't think that little dip of 35% was bottom. That was just a test.

The test is, did you win or fail? Did you hang on rationalizing? If you did and you failed. You failed the test cause you will do it again. It will be more costly the second time around. So guys, I hope this is enlightening for you. I hope this opens your eyes and gets you that at least ponder and think about what you're actually doing because there are many, many better ways to be able to create money and create better passive income than just gambling and something that really no one knows what's going to happen. No one knows how it's going to happen. What it's going to look like a wind is going to be. If we had a crystal ball, Awesome! But guess what guys, this is not back to the future. You do not have morning Mcflys, a little book that he bought in the future to be able to gamble and make money. You didn't have that guys. You have day to day. Are you going to gamble your wealth even to the point of possibly losing it all? Or are you going to actually go for something that's certain that's been proven for years and years? That is my challenge to you guys. Again, if you have questions, shoot me an email, Chris@MoneyRipples.com. I hope we make it a wonderful and prosperous week. And we'll see you later.

[sophiepowers]

since @petrlosingwendy is mad about me talking about jordan here’s my anger in an essay under the cut

All right, Petunia. Wish me luck out there. You will die on August 7th, 2037. That’s pretty good. All right. Hello. Hello, Chicago. Nice to see you again. Thank you. That was very nice. Thank you. Look, now, you’re a wonderful crowd, but I need you to keep your energy up the entire show, okay? Because… No, no, no. Thank you. Some crowds… some crowds, they have big energy in the beginning and then they run out of places to go. So… I don’t judge those crowds, by the way, okay? We’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of room. We’ve all made a “Happy Birthday” sign… Wait. You get that poster board up, and you’re like, “I don’t need to trace it. I know how big letters should be. To begin with, a big-ass ‘H’. Followed by a big-ass ‘A’ and… Oh, no! Oh, God! Okay, all right. Real skinny ‘P’ with a high hump, and then we’ll put the second ‘P’ below the hump of that first ‘P’, sort of like a motorcycle sidecar situation. And now I have no room for the ‘Y’, so I’ll do a kind of curled-up noodle ‘Y’. Block letters and cursive look good together.” And then you go to write “Birthday” and you totally forget the lesson you just learned with “Happy.” You’re like, “Yeah, but the past is the past. Big-ass ‘B’. Surely more letters will fit in the same space.”You’re very friendly here in Chicago. I mean, we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly. No, really. And I don’t like confrontation, ’cause I’ve never been in a fight before. Though, maybe you could tell that from the first moment I walked out on stage. I don’t give off that vibe. Some people give off a vibe of… Right away, they’re like, “Do not fuck with me.” My vibe is more like, “Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.” When I walk, for real, my feet go out like this. I’m so open and vulnerable. I look like a doll that you point out molestation on. “Show us on this white comedian where the man touched you.”It’s been a while since I’ve been home to Chicago. I got married since then. Thank you. I married my wife. I love saying “my wife.” It sounds so adult. “That’s my wife.” It’s great, you sound like a person. I said it even before we were married. We were just dating, and we were once getting on an airplane, and Anna’s ticket didn’t say anything and my ticket said “priority access.” It doesn’t matter why. But we were getting on and I said, “Uh, can my wife board with me?” And they were like, “Yes, of course. Right this way.” And I was like, “Oh, that is so much better than all those times I was like, ‘Can my girlfriend come?'” And, yeah, I shouldn’t have said it that way, but still. “My wife” just has some kick-ass to it, you know? “Get away from my wife! No one talk to my wife!” Marriage is gonna be very magical. “I didn’t kill my wife!” That’s like, “Ooh, who’s that fella? I bet he did kill his wife.” Being married is so nice. I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself. That’s not really a joke, that’s just a little sweet thing I like to say. ‘Cause I’d been in relationships where I got cheated on, like, long ones. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a long relationship where you got cheated on, but it changes your whole worldview. ‘Cause when I was a kid, I used to watch America’s Most Wanted. You know how kids do. And I would always think to myself, “How could another person kill someone? How could a human being kill another human being?” And then I got cheated on, and I was like, “Oh, okay.” “I’m not gonna do it, but I totally get it.” And I don’t mean in that way of, like, “No one else can have you.” I don’t care about that. It’s just creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly. They have a lot of information. Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. I can’t have them roaming around.I talked to a lot of people before I got engaged, you know. And I heard this expression about whether or not you should get married. This is an old expression. People say this. They say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” You ever heard that before? It’s a bananas insulting expression… to an entire gender. But also, it makes no sense. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” You’re not allowed to milk a cow that you don’t own. That’s not even a situation. Was that a problem at one point? Like, in the dairy community? Was that happening a hundred years ago in some village? Some Dutch prick was sneaking in at night being like, “Ah-ha-ha, I take your milk.” And the farmer was like, “Well, then, this is your cow now.” And he was like, “No, no proof of purchase.” And he ran off into the night. That sounded Dutch, right? You know what that… you know what that expression means? It means, “Why would you marry a woman if she’s already having sex with you?” Which has nothing to do with what relationships are even like anymore. Now, it’s like, “Why buy the cow?” Uh, maybe because, every day, the cow asks you when you’re gonna buy it. And… … you live in a really small apartment with the cow, so you can’t avoid that question at all. And also, the cow is way better at arguing than you are. And the cow grew up in a family that knows how to argue. “Why buy the cow?” Uh, maybe because every time another cow gets bought, you have to go to the sale and you have to sit next to your cow at the sale, and your cow looks over at you the entire time like… And does not enjoy the sale at all… even though she’s the one that wanted to go to the sale. And she’s especially mad because that farmer and cow met, like, eight months after you guys met. “Why buy the cow?” Well, let’s be real here. You’re very lucky to have the cow that you do have. “Roping in cows and getting milk out of them was never anything you were known for, John.” By the most liberal of estimates, there have been about eight cows total, several unmilked, and… a lot of people think that you like bulls, and if you just bought… They assume it. When you search your name, the third thing to come up is like, “John Mulaney bull?” And if you just bought the cow, nobody would say that anymore. They’ll still say it. ‘Cause there are those guys who, they buy a cow, and then on the side, total matador, but… But, for real, Chicago, why buy the cow? Let’s be real. Why buy the cow? Because you love her. You really do. And, yeah, yeah… Sure, she’s a bossy little Jew, but… … she takes care of you. And you don’t wanna be some old man stumbling around, like, “Hey, you seen any loose milk?”My wife is Jewish. She’s a New York Jew. I did it! Now, I was raised Catholic. I don’t know if you can tell that from the everything about me. My wife is Jewish, I grew up Catholic, so we got married by a friend. Being married by a friend is a beautiful ceremony that alienates both families’ religions, while confusing the elderly people at the wedding. “What’s the name of the bishop?” “That’s actually stand-up comedian Dan Levy. He was the host of MTV’s Your Face or Mine?” I saw a lot of Catholic weddings, though, because I was an altar boy… And a hush falls over the room. Isn’t it weird how that became a scandalous thing? That was just some boring shit I had to do on weekends. But now, it’s like saying, “I was a French maid for a period of time. I was treated well in my day. I worked for a variety of sirs.” No, being an altar boy was just a boring gig, you know? You’d serve Mass and then you’d serve weddings sometimes. My brother was once an altar boy at a wedding, and he was standing there with another altar boy in this big, packed church in Chicago where we grew up. And the bride was coming down the aisle, and the organ was playing, and all the pews were filled, and the bride got all the way to the altar, and the groom lifted the veil off of the bride, and right at that moment the other altar boy said, “Aw, she’s ugly.” And then they looked, and they were right next to the video camera. And I know that’s awful, but wouldn’t you give a million dollars to see that wedding video? It was the best moment of this stupid woman’s life, and she’s walking down the aisle, and the organ’s like… And she gets all the way to the altar to her betrothed, and he unveils her to the world and to the eyes of God. And right at that second, for no reason at all, some Cheeto-fingered, rat-mustached, 13-year-old prick decides to go, “Aw, she’s ugly!” Hopefully the videographer knew some sound editing so he could fix it to be like, “Aw, she’s beautiful. She’s enchanting.”I grew up Catholic. I don’t go to church anymore. But I went on Christmas Eve with my parents, ’cause you know how you lie to your parents. So… we go into the church and I was like, “I got this under control.” And then I got schooled because they introduced a bunch of new shit. No, I was going through Mass and I was batting, like, .400. And then in the middle of Mass, the priest said, “Peace be with you.” And everyone said, “And with your spirit.” And I was the one pre-Y2K asshole going, “And also with you. What? Huh? What? Huh? What? When? When?” For those of you that aren’t Catholic, I don’t mean to exclude you, even though we love to exclude you, but… There’s a part in church where the priest says, “Peace be with you.” And for many, many years, we all said… – “And also with you.” – Very good. But they changed it to “And with your spirit.” Because that’s what needed revamping in the Catholic Church. That was the squeaky wheel that needed the grease. In Rome, they were like, “Let’s see. What problems can we solve? Problem one. No.” I’m actually glad they changed that, though. I never liked “And also with you.” I always found that clunky. “And also with you.” That’s not how you talk. – “Have a nice day.” – “And also you having one.” It’s just a little bit wrong, isn’t it? It’s just a little off. Like, when someone’s like, “How are you?” And you’re like, “Nothing much.” And it sort of makes sense. Never begin a sentence with “And also.” You just immediately sound caught off-guard. It sounds like if at the first church ever, like, they weren’t expecting it. Like, the priest was like, “Hey, this is the first time we’ve ever had church. I just wanna say, ‘Peace be with you.'” And they were like… “What? Oh. Uh, yeah. And also you should have some.” “Hey, that’s good. Let’s keep that for 2,000 years. And then change it to trick John.”My wife and I don’t have any children, we have a dog. We have a little puppy named Petunia. She’s a tiny little French bulldog puppy. I like having a puppy that’s a bulldog, ’cause it’s like having a baby that is also a grandma. Her body is young, her face is as old as time. She definitely saw the Nazis march into Paris. She always gives me this look of like, “Oh, the things I have seen, you cocksucker. You have no idea. The Gestapo threw my printing press into a river. But, go, tell your fucking jokes. Bring me my dish.” She said that. Petunia… Petunia is my best friend in the world. I give her a million kisses a day. She does not like me, and barks at me and bites me all day long. We had to get a dog trainer into the apartment because Petunia is a bad dog. We tell her that every day. We go, “Hey, you’re bad at being a dog.” So, the trainer came into the apartment. Sorry, didn’t even walk into the apartment, walked into the threshold and went, “Oh, okay.” Like she was an exorcist or something. She said, “I see what the problem is.” She said, “Petunia has become the alpha of the house.” And then she pointed at me, she said, “You are no longer the alpha of the house.” And in the back of my head, I was like, “I was never the alpha of the house.” I turned to my wife, I was like, “Let’s pretend. It’ll be fun. Yes… My title of alpha, which I once had, how can I reclaim it? Because that was a thing that existed at one time.” She said, “You need to show dominance over your puppy.” These are things people say to me. I said, “How do I do that?” She said, “Well, let me ask you this. Who eats dinner first, you or Petunia?” I was like, “Petunia eats dinner first. She eats dinner at 5:00 p.m., ’cause she’s a foot long and two years old.” She said, “No, you need to eat dinner first. Because the king eats before anyone else eats.” Oh, yes, and what a mighty king I will be, eating dinner at 4:45 in the afternoon. “Look upon your sovereign, Petunia, and tremble. My lands stretch across this entire one bedroom, and I eat dinner whenever I choose, as long as it works for the schedule of a dog.” She said, “Now, you don’t actually have to eat dinner before Petunia. You just have to convince Petunia that you’ve already eaten.” So… for the past month, I shit you not… before my wife and I give Petunia her dish, we take down empty bowls and spoons, and in front of her, we go, “Mmm, dinner. Mmm, good dinner.” Like we’re space aliens in a play about human beings that they wrote, but they didn’t work that hard on. “Mmm, we’re eating dinner.” Meanwhile, Petunia’s just staring at us with her Paul Giamatti face, like… “You’re not eating dinner, cocksucker. Dish, now.”I have a wife and a dog, and we just bought a house. We have a new house. It was built in the ’20s, but it was flipped in 2014. Which means it’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash. Actually, we didn’t buy a house. A bank bought a house, and I’m allowed to keep my shirts and pants there while I pay it off for 30 years. The woman from the bank came over and she showed me my mortgage broken down month by month for 30 years. And she said, “So, for instance, this is what you’ll pay in July of 2029.” And I burst out laughing. I was like, “2029? That’s not a real year. By 2029, I’ll be drinking moon juice with President Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I’m not gonna be writing you a paper check.” I like having a house, but I loved looking for a house, ’cause I love real estate agents. I mean, they are the true heroes. They really are. Have you ever watched HGTV? Real estate agents have to deal with the dumbest people in the world making the biggest decisions of their lives. Every episode of HGTV is like, “Craig and Stacia are looking for a two-story A-frame that’s near Craig’s job in the downtown, but also satisfies Stacia’s need to be near the beach which is nowhere near Craig’s job. With three children and nine on the way, and a max budget of $7… let’s see what Lori Jo can do on this week’s episode of You Don’t Deserve A Beach House.”I loved our real estate agent. It was so fun to hang out with her. It was like hanging out with my mom. ‘Cause, you know, real estate agents always look like your mom. And they have various Chico’s accoutrements. They always have kind of fun mom energy. And they’re always, “So excited to see you two.” We would have little conferences before we walked into a house. She’d go, “Let’s talk. Let’s talk before we go in.” We’re, like, two feet from the door. “So, there’s no toilets. And I know that was on your list. But I think I can get him to budge. Let’s go.” So, we’d have a real estate agent, and then, like, the house would have a real estate agent who’s just some guy sitting in a big chair. And these two always hated each other. They’d be like, “Hi, Tony.” “Hi, Kim.” It’s like, “Jesus Christ! What, were you two in the Eagles together? What is the animosity about?” Our real estate agent wanted us to have a baby more than anyone else in our lives, more than anyone in our family. She hinted about it constantly. Every room she walked into, she’d be like, “So, this could be an office.” “Or maybe a nursery.” “Yeah. No, like we said, we don’t know if we’re gonna have… ” “No, no. I know, I know, you know. You don’t know if you’re gonna have ’em, but you know. You know, you never know. Sometimes you don’t know what’s gonna happen, and then… you know, something happens.” “Well, yeah, that’s how all of life works.” “Okay, all right. Okay. Uh-huh. Mmm. This is an on-fire garbage can. Could be a nursery.” She showed me a backyard once. She goes, “I don’t even like this backyard for you.” I was like, “Oh, do tell.” She said, “It’s all pavement. I think you should have some grass out there. You know, in case you have a couple… little guys… running around in the grass.” And I got offended on behalf of my imaginary kids. I was like, “Hey, lady. I went outside about as much as Powder from the movie Powder. My children are not gonna be playing out on grass. They will be up in their rooms playing violent video games and catfishing pedophiles. These are my children. And that’s my wife!”I didn’t mean to make it sound like we don’t want children. We don’t, but I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. See, I just don’t think babies like me very much. Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all. Like, I’ll be on an elevator, and a baby will be there in its big, like, stroller activity tray, just, like, working on one Cheerio with Bobby Fischer-like intensity. And it’ll look up at me and go… I like to lean in and go, “Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.” And then walk off. ‘Cause you’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy. My friends have babies and I don’t do so well with them. I had a run-in with a two-year-old girl. I know there are better ways to start that story, but… My friend, Jeremy, has this two-year-old girl, and I really like her. She’s a sweet kid. I really like his daughter a lot. But I was over at his family’s house for the Fourth of July, and he had his daughter on his knee. And it was a very lovely day. His whole extended family was there. And he was bouncing his two-year-old up and down, and he pointed at me and he said to his two-year-old, “Do you know who that is? That’s your Uncle John.” And I was like, “Oh, my God. That’s so sweet. I’m her Uncle John.” And then the baby pointed at me and said, “Uncle John has a penis.” I thank you for laughing, because no one did that day! Fell deadly silent, is what they all did. Hey, do you know what you’re supposed to say when a baby points at you and knowingly says, “He has a penis”? No, I’m asking, ’cause I don’t know what to say in that situation. Here’s what I went with that day. I said, “Oh, come on!” I don’t know. I thought that’d be good. But then it just made it worse, ’cause it sounded like the baby and I had an arrangement not to talk about it, and she had violated my trust. Like, the baby had been like, “Do you have a penis?” And I was like, “Yes, I do, but you’re a baby, so discretion is key.” And then the next day she goes, “He has a penis,” and I go, “Oh, come on! Someone can’t keep a secret!” Luckily, Jeremy’s wife saved the day. The baby’s mom saved the day. She came in and she picked up the baby, and she was like, “It’s okay. She’s just going through that phase where she says penis and vagina a lot.” Aren’t we all? And, by the way, it would’ve been a totally different situation if the baby had said vagina. Like, if a grown woman had walked in the room, and the baby had been like, “She has a vagina,” the woman could be like, “Yes, I do, and it’s magnificent.” And we would all be like, “Hooray! You are brave!” No one wants to applaud the penis of a 32-year-old weirdo.It’s fun to be married. I’ve never been supervised before. I’m supervised. She studies what I do. Like an anthropologist. She’ll be like, “Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out to him confuses and upsets him.” I had no supervision when I was a kid. We were free to do what we wanted. But also, with that, no one cared about kids. I grew up before children were special. I did. Very early ’80s, right before children became special. Like, I remember when milk carton kids became a thing. When they were like, “Hey, we should start looking for some of these guys. I don’t think they’re just blowing off steam.” No one cared about my opinion when I was a little kid. No one cared what I thought. Sometimes, people would say, “What do you think you’re doing?” But that just meant “Stop.” They didn’t actually wanna know my thought process. They didn’t want me to be like, “Well, I was gonna put this bottle rocket into this carton of eggs, so that when I lit off the bottle rocket, the eggs would explode everywhere.” “Oh, well, that’s very interesting. And what brought you to this experiment?” “Oh, well, thank you for asking. Well… you know how I’m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time… and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.” Your opinion doesn’t matter in elementary school either. It matters in college. College is just your opinion. Just you raising your hand and being like, “I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian.” And they’re like, “Partial credit.” And that’s a whole thing. But in elementary school, it doesn’t matter what you think, it just matters what you know. You have to have answers to questions. And if you say, “I don’t know,” you get an X on your test, and you get it wrong and that’s not fair, ’cause your brain has never been smaller. Also, that’s not how life works. I’m in my 30s now. If you came to me now and you were like, “Hey, John, name three things that the Stamp Act of 1775 accomplished.” I’d go, “I don’t know. Get out of my apartment,” you know? But when you’re a little kid, you can’t say, “I don’t know.” You should be able to. That should be an acceptable answer on a test. You should be able to write in, “I don’t know. I know you told me. But I have had a very long day. I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.” Or if it’s one of those true or false questions, you should be able to add a third option which is, “Who’s to say?” Kids are much more supervised now, but also, they have a lot of rights. Like, that’s the biggest civil rights increase I’ve seen in my lifetime. The rights of children have gone through the roof. I had no rights when I was a little kid. I remember, one time, I walked into a supermarket by myself, and I walked in through the double doors, and the woman behind the register just looked at me and she went, “No!” And I went, “All right.” And I turned around and left. That’s how broken I was.And there weren’t special things for kids the way there are now. Like, we would just go see movies. Any movie. Like Back to the Future. That was a movie everyone could see. Kids could kinda see it. Great movie, right? I rewatched it recently. It’s a very weird movie. Marty McFly is a 17-year-old high school student whose best friend is a disgraced nuclear physicist. And, I shit you not, they never explain how they became friends. They never explain it. Not even in a lazy way, like, “Hey, remember when we met in the science building?” They don’t even do that. And we were all fine with it. We were just like, “What, who’s his best friend? A disgraced nuclear physicist? All right, proceed.” What a strange movie to sell to be a family movie. Two guys had to go in and do that. They had to be like, “Okay… we got an idea… for the next big family-action-comedy. All right, it’s about a guy named Marty, and he’s very lazy. He’s always sleeping late.” “Okay. Is he cool like Ferris Bueller?” “No. But he does have this best friend who’s, you know, a disgraced… nuclear physicist.” “I’m confused here. This best friend, this is another student?” “No, no, no. No, this guy’s either, like, 40 or 80. Even we don’t know how old this guy’s supposed to be. But one day, the boy and the scientist, they go back in time and they build a time machine. Whoa!” “Okay. I think I see where you’re going here. They build a time machine, and they go back in time, and they stop the Kennedy assassination.” “Ah! Oh, wow, that’s a really good idea, I mean, we didn’t even think of that.” “All right, well, what do they do with the time machine?” “Well, now I’m embarrassed to say. Ah, well, all right, all right, all right. We thought… We thought it would be funny, you know, if the boy, if he went back in time and, you know, he tried to fuck his mom.” “I don’t know. We thought that’d be fun for people. But, no, good point. No, he doesn’t get to, he doesn’t get to. ‘Cause this family friend named Biff, he comes in and he tries to rape the mom in front of the son. The dad’s gotta beat the rapist off of her. And also, we’re gonna imply that a white man wrote ‘Johnny B. Goode.’ So, we’re gonna take that away from ’em.” “Well, this is the best movie idea I have ever heard in my life. We’re gonna make three of them. Now, you say they go to the past. How about we call it Back to the Past?” “No, no, no. Back to the Future.” “Right, but they go to the past.” “Yeah.”Kids have it very good now. My friend’s a teacher. She told me that, uh… the parents will take the kids’ side over the teacher now. That’s insane. That never happened. My parents trusted every grown-up… more than they trusted me. I don’t mean coaches and teachers. Any human adult’s word… was better than mine. Any hobo or drifter could have taken me by the ear up to my front door and been like, “Excuse me! Your kid bit my dick.” And my mom would be like, “John Edmund Mulaney, did you bite this nice man’s dick?” And I would be the only one who’s like, “Hey, doesn’t anyone wanna know why… his dick was near my biters… in the first place? Isn’t anyone curious… as to how I had access?” Don’t get me wrong, my parents love us. They just didn’t like us. We weren’t friends. People are now like, “My mom’s my best friend.” I was like, “Oh, is she a super bad mom?” My parents didn’t trust us, and they shouldn’t have trusted us. We were little goblins. We were terrible. I remember, one time, we were going to this resort for a vacation when we were little kids. Three weeks before we went to the resort, my dad sat us down and he said, “All right, we’re going to a resort, and I’ve just been informed that the man who owns the resort only has one arm.” And we were like, “Oh, yes! Yay! Yes!” “Now, I’m telling you three weeks in advance, so that you will not freak out when you see that he only has one arm.” “Oh, we’re gonna freak out so bad!” “Yes, John, you have a question?” “How did he lose his arm?” “That’s exactly what you won’t ask.” And then I did ask. I went into the kitchen one day, and I was like, “So, how’d you lose your arm?” And he was like, “Well, I was born with only one arm.” And I was like, “Nah.”No, my parents loved us. It’s just, like, they were the cops, you know? And we were criminals. So, we didn’t get along. We only got along in that way that, like, cops will sometimes be chummy with criminals. Like, when my dad and I would talk, it was like that scene in the movie Heat, when Robert De Niro and Al Pacino sit down in that diner. We kind of had that rapport of, like, “Hmm, we’re not so different, you and I. You have your law practice, and me, I have all these fucking markers.” “I guess we both have responsibilities when you look at it that way.” My dad would respect it if I could get away with breaking a rule. We had a rule in our house, you were not allowed to watch TV on a school night. So, every school night, I would 100% be watching TV. And I would hear my dad coming, I would immediately turn the TV off and grab any book, magazine, periodical, anything. And I’d open it and pretend to be doing homework. My dad would walk in the room and he would go, “What are you doing? Are you watching TV?” And I’d go, “No, man. I’m not watching TV.” And the TV wouldn’t even be dark yet. It would still have, like, a neon green halo around it. It’d be sizzling like a glass of Pepsi. And I would look my dad in the eyes and go, “No, I’m just reading this Yellow Pages.”My dad loved us. He just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem. I remember, one time, we were really little kids. I have two sisters and a brother, and all four of us were in our family car ride for three hours going to Wisconsin. My dad was driving, going down the highway in our white van with wood around the side. ‘Cause you remember when you wanted your car to be made of wood? You remember that era? Where we were like, “How much wood can we get on this car… without it catching on fire?” But then the big announcement. “We here at Plymouth-Chrysler can put a saucy stripe of wood safely on the outside of your car, for all those times you’ve looked at your minivan and thought, ‘Huh! It needs a belt.'” So, we’re going on the highway. We’ve been on the road for three hours. And in the distance, we see a McDonald’s. We see the golden arches. And we got so excited. We started chanting, “McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s!” And my dad pulled into the drive-thru, and we started cheering. And then, he ordered one black coffee for himself. And kept driving. And, you know, as mad as that made me as a little kid, in retrospect, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. How perfect is that? He had a vanload of little kids, and he got black coffee. The one thing from McDonald’s no child could enjoy. My dad is cold-blooded. He once shushed a kid during Lion King on Broadway. That actually happened. We were at Lion King on Broadway, and there was a five-year-old behind us going, “Look, it’s Pumbaa! Look, it’s Timon!” And my dad turned around and said, “Are you going to talk the entire time?” He’s my hero.The weirdest thing when I was a kid was how much they scared us about smoking weed. They scared us about it constantly. And I’ve been on tour this year… Marijuana is legal in 18 or 19 states in some form or another. It’s insane. Yeah, well… All right, don’t “whoo” if you’re white. It’s always been legal for us. Come on, sir. We don’t go to jail for marijuana, you silly billy. When I was arrested with a one-hitter at a Rusted Root concert, I did not serve hard time. I think I got an award. Eighteen or 19 states. And, by the way, I agree, it’s a very good thing. But it’s also a really weird thing, because this is the first time I’ve ever seen a law change because the government is just like, “Fine.” You know? I’ve never seen it before. Like, gay marriage and healthcare, we have to battle it out in the Supreme Court, and be like, “Gay people are humans.” And they’re like, “We’ll think about it.” But with weed, it was just something we wanted really badly, and we kept asking them for 40 years, like, “Excuse me.” And then suddenly the government became like cool parents, and they’re just like, “Okay, here. Take a little. We’d rather you do it in the house than go somewhere else… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Those stupid parents. And that’s a big deal because they scared us about weed constantly. It would be on our sitcoms. We’d be watching Saved by the Bell, we’d be having a great old time. And then, suddenly, a character we had not seen before would show up with some weed and the episode would stop cold in its tracks. And they’d always hold the joint… The bad guy would hold the joint in a villainous way. They’d always offer the joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint. Like it’s a skull in a Shakespeare play. And now it’s legal, and that is great news. Unless you’re a weed dealer, and then it is terrible news. And I don’t just mean because they’re about to lose out to Amazon.com. I more feel bad for weed dealers ’cause they’re about to find out that we only showed them a certain amount of politeness because they had an illegal product. And we don’t show that same politeness to people who deliver legal products. Like, when the Chinese food delivery guy comes, we don’t let him hang out after he’s delivered the Chinese food. And we don’t look the other way when he says weird shit to the girls we’re hanging out with… to try to preserve the relationship. And we definitely don’t give him some of the Chinese food. He’s never like, “Hey, can I get in on those dumplings?” And we’re like, “Yeah, we’re all friends.”What are you, on your phone? Hey, V-neck. Hey! – What’s your name? – Sam. Sam? Cool! What do you do to afford V-necks, Sam? Typing numbers. Ah… numbers, the letters of math. I’m sorry to bother you. I don’t mean to single you out. I hate when people get pulled out of the audience. Like, are you familiar with the Cirque du Soleil, Sam? They’re a group of French assholes that are slowly taking over America by humiliating audience members one by one. We once went to see Cirque du Soleil at Navy Pier when I was a kid, and my brother came, and he was 12 years old. You remember being 12, when you’re like, “No one look at me or I’ll kill myself.” And these French bastards come into the crowd, being like, “Le volunteer!” And they pulled my brother up on stage, and I was like, “No!” And they brought him up, and they reached into his sweatshirt, and they were like… And they had planted a bra, and they pulled out a bra and they were like… And everyone at Navy Pier was like “Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!” And my brother was like, “That’s great!” I have had other jobs besides comedy.I was an office temp for a while. I really miss that. I loved being a temp, because I would just go from office to office and be terrible at a different job for a week. And then you just get to retire like Lou Gehrig. You’re like, “Thank you. No one will ever see me again.” And they’re like, “Goodbye!” I worked at an office once on 57th Street in New York City. I was there for a couple weeks. I was in a cubicle next to this other cubicle. This woman named Mischa sat in the other cubicle. I want to get the number right. I think Mischa had… about 900,000 photos of her daughter up in her cubicle. Almost like she was trying to solve a conspiracy about her daughter, A Beautiful Mind-style. I think about Mischa two times a week… because of a phone call she had next to me one day. It was one of my first days, and I was sitting next to her. And her phone rang, and this was her call, and I’m quoting. Her phone rang and she said, “Hello? Hush!” And then she hung up. Think about that two times a week. And I didn’t know her well enough by then to be like, “Hey, what kind of a person are you?” You know? Who could she have been talking to? “Hello? Hush!” This was a place of business. My only thought was that it was the CEO of the company being like, “Mischa, help. I’m doing a crossword puzzle. I need a four-letter word for ‘be quiet’ right now.” – “Hush!” – “You’re promoted.”I temped at a little web company on 25th Street in New York City. It was a small web company owned by this old man who was old, old, old money New York. His name was Henry J. Finch IV. Like old, old, old money. Like, his money was in molasses or something. He owned this web company. I have no idea why he owned this web company. I think he won it in a rich man’s game of dice and small binoculars, or something. Mr. Finch wore linen suits. He had suspenders, he had a bow tie, he had a hat, he had a cane with an ivory handle. I’m giving you more description than you need, ’cause I need you to believe me. This was a real person I knew in the 21st century. Mr. Finch was in his 70s. He had an assistant named Mary. She was in her 50s, she was Korean. I don’t know why he had an assistant. He did not need one. Unless he needed someone to be like, “Remember, Mr. Finch, at five o’clock, you need to keep looking like a hard-boiled egg.” One day, Mr. Finch came into the office. It had been raining. Everything I’m about to say to you was said in front of me on that afternoon. Mr. Finch walked into the office, and he was wearing a raincoat, he was wearing a rain hat, and he had his cane. And he walked in and he said, and I’m quoting, “Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!” And then Mary yelled, “Ooh, ducklings!” To which Mr. Finch replied, “Too old to be a duckling. Quack, quack.” And then walked into his office. I think about that every goddamn day. I mean, imagine you’re me. You’re a 22-year-old temp, and you’re so hungover, and you just wanna die every day. And then that happens in front of you, and I don’t know, gives you hope? And I did that a little fast. Let me break that conversation down for you. Mr. Finch walked in, and he began a conversation the way anyone would. “Ah!” “One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet!” The rain. “And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!” Now, that’s debatable. But rather than debate that point, Mary brought up a new, separate, but interesting point… which was, “Ducklings!” But Mr. Finch, ever the realist about his own age and mortality… said, “Ah, too old to be a duckling!” As if to say, “My duckling days are behind me. Mary, don’t you see? I’m a duck now. And to prove it… Well, I’ll say just about the most famous catchphrase a duck has… ‘Quack, quack.'” And I knew right at that moment, by the way, that it meant nothing to Mr. Finch, what he had said. Crazy people are like that. They have unlimited crazy currency. Like, if I had gone into his office a couple weeks later and been like, “Hey, Finch, you remember that time you were like, ‘Too old to be a duckling. Quack, quack’?” He would just be like, “Ah, perhaps I did quack! But such is life for an old knickerbocker like me.” Like, he’d say something else crazy.That’s the wonderful thing about crazy people, you know? Is that they just have unlimited currency. The things they say mean nothing to them, but they mean everything to me. I was once walking into Penn Station in New York. I was walking down 31st Street towards Eighth Avenue. I’m walking down 31st, there’s this woman standing at Eighth and 31st. I have my little roller suitcase. You can all imagine. I’m walking towards her. She’s smoking a cigarette that is not lit anymore. She’s watching me walk, kind of scanning me up and down, as if she had Terminator vision… where she could see little bits of data, like, “Little honky ass,” and could read information. As I walked past her, she said this to me. I walked past her and she said, and I’m quoting, “Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.” Very dirty, yes? A very upsetting thing to hear, yes? I’m sorry you all had to hear that, but at least you all got to hear it as a group. I was alone out there that afternoon. And she said this totally unprompted. “Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.” It wasn’t like I had paused in front of her and been like, “What should I do with my life?” So, I walk away from her with this to-do list. And I like structure, I like a to-do list. It did dawn on me that that list of things does get better as it goes along, when you really think about it. ‘Cause it starts in a pretty rough place. It starts with just about the worst task a to-do list can start with. But by the end, you have your own small business. And isn’t that the American dream when all’s said and done? That if you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. Imagine you did all that to sell drugs and then they legalize drugs, and you were like, “But I…” This has been a real thrill to perform here, by the way. I just wanna say that in all sincerity. Thanks for coming to this. Really, really appreciate it.I wanna tell you one more story before I get out of here, about the night I met a guy named Bill Clinton. Now, I don’t… Some of you know who that is? For those of you that don’t, he was President of the United States from 1993 until 2001, and he is a smooth and fantastic hillbilly who should be declared Emperor of the United States of America. Now, I know you know who Bill Clinton is. But I was doing a show at a college, and I mentioned Bill Clinton, and, like, they kind of didn’t know who he was. Like, sorry, they knew the name, right? But they only knew this 2015 Bill Clinton, who’s a very different Bill Clinton. Have you seen his ass lately? What the hell is he trying to pull? He’s all thin now, and he wears these little tight suits, and he’s got these grandpa reading glasses, like, “Hey, I can’t do nothing to nobody no more.” “Oh, me? I’m just an old, old man. I don’t have the appetites.” You know? And he’s always flying around the world with Bill Gates trying to cure AIDS.That is not the Bill Clinton that we all signed up for 20 years ago. Our Bill Clinton was like a big, fat Buddy Garrity from Friday Night Lights-looking guy, who played the saxophone on Arsenio, and his work in the STD community was not in curing anything at that time. That was the man we all elected president. That was the Bill Clinton that I met. I got to meet Bill Clinton when he was Governor Clinton in 1992, when he was first running for president.And I got to meet Bill Clinton because my parents had gone to the same college as Bill Clinton. They’re a little younger, but they went to the same college. So, when he was first running for president, he would have all these big, like, alumni fundraisers, and everyone who went was invited to go. Now, this was really cool for a couple reasons. One, I got to meet Bill Clinton. But two, I got to watch my parents watch someone they went to school with become the president. And that is super funny to see, ’cause think about some of the people you went to school with. Now imagine they’re becoming the president. Imagine Sam was becoming the president. It would stir up strong emotions. And my parents had very different opinions on Bill Clinton.My mom loved Bill Clinton, ’cause Bill Clinton was always a really charismatic, handsome guy. I mean, think about how many women he got in the 1990s when he looked like Frank Caliendo doing John Madden. Now… imagine him as a college student. And my mom tells me that there was this sort of chivalrous policy on campus back then, where, late at night, if female students were leaving the library unaccompanied, male students were encouraged to wait out in front and offer to walk them home. That sounds good, right? So, my mom tells me that Bill Clinton would be out in front of the library every single night… just being like, “Hey, can I walk ya home? Hey, can I walk ya home? Hey, can I walk ya home? Hey, can I walk ya home?” And one night, my mom was leaving the library, and Bill Clinton was like, “Hey, can I walk ya home?” And my mom was like, “Hell, yes.” So… This is absolutely true. My mom, little Ellen Stanton, walked arm-in-arm with Bill Clinton to her dorm. And she was like, “You know, I wanted to invite him up for a beer.” And I was like, “Thanks, I’m nine.” But… her roommate was upstairs, so she lost her chance with Bill Clinton.Now, my dad, on the other hand, hated Bill Clinton, because my parents were dating during this time. And also, my dad’s a much more morally-upright, conservative kind of guy. He always told me that he hated it in college that Bill Clinton could, quote, “Get away with anything.” Can you imagine how he felt later?So, one day, this invitation arrives for a fundraiser where you could meet Bill Clinton. My mom opens it first and she goes, “Oh, we have to go. We have to go see Bill.” And without looking up at her, my dad just says, “Why? It’s not like he’s gonna remember you.” One black coffee. Same motherfucker. So, my mom says, “Fine! I’ll go and I’ll take John.” And I was like, “Hell, yeah.” And I slid in the room in my First Communion suit, ready to go. ‘Cause I loved Bill Clinton. I was ten years old. If you were a kid when Bill Clinton was first released, it was the most exciting thing ever. We’d never seen a cool politician before. And he would go on MTV, and he’d have cool answers to kids’ questions. They’d be like, “Governor, what’s your favorite food?” And he’d be like, “I don’t know, fries?” And we’d be like, “Yay, we eat fries!”I learned to play his campaign song on the piano. It was “Don’t Stop” by Fleetwood Mac… from Rumours, an album written by and for people cheating on each other. He let us know who he was right away. So, I went with my mom, as her date… to reconnect with Governor Bill Clinton. We walked into the ballroom. It was a big hotel ballroom. It was the Palmer House Hilton, big Hilton hotel ballroom. Walked into the ballroom, it was packed with people. It’s actually the ballroom from the end of the movie The Fugitive, remember? So, that ballroom. So, my mom and I walk in, it’s packed with people, the… Sorry, the end where Harrison Ford, as Dr. Richard Kimble, bursts in to confront Dr. Charles Nichols, right? Okay. So, that ballroom. So, my mom and I walk in, it’s packed with people. Why does Kimble confront Nichols? Well, I know we all know this, but… No, no. But, but, but… Kimble, he found out that Nichols, along with Devlin MacGregor and Lentz, who has mysteriously died, they had hired Frederick Sykes, the one-armed man, to kill Kimble. Kimble’s wife wasn’t even the target. I know we all know this. But they were gonna kill Kimble because he wasn’t gonna approve certain liver samples to pass RUD-90. So, Kimble finds out about all of this, and, of course, he’s furious. And he bursts into the ballroom and he goes, “You switched the samples!” And Dr. Nichols is like, “Ladies and gentlemen, my friend, Dr. Richard Kimble.” What accent did that guy have, by the way? He goes, “You switched the samples! And you doctored your research! So that you could have Provasic!”Anyway, so it’s that ballroom. So, we walk into that ballroom. It was packed with people. It was packed with people. A real Who’s Not of Chicago celebrities. Walter Jacobson was there. Walter Jacobson was the local Fox anchor. He’d do fun things where he’d go undercover as a homeless person. And he’d be like, “Oh, what time is the soup?” And they’d be like, “Man, you’re Walter Jacobson.” He was there. Everybody. And on the far side of the ballroom, under a spotlight, we saw a little bit of silver hair. And it was him… Bill Clinton. The Comeback Kid. But he was surrounded by reporters, and photographers, and Secret Service. So, what are you gonna do? Well, if you’re my mom, you ball up the back of my sport coat, and you push me forward like a human shield. And then you start jogging while yelling, “This ten-year-old boy has to meet the next president of the United States!” Kind of implying that I might be dying. My feet were not on the ground. She was swinging me like a snowplow. I was just mowing down fat Chicago Democrats. I pushed past all the reporters, I pushed past all the photographers. We pushed past all the Secret Service.We land at Bill Clinton’s feet. Bill Clinton turns, looks at my mom and says, “Hey, Ellen,” ’cause he never forgets a bitch, ever. My mom melts. She goes, “Hi, Bill.” Then it is revealed that she has no plan. So… she pushes me towards Clinton and she goes, “This is my son, John, and he’s also going to be president.” And I was like, “What the hell are you talking about? I’m not gonna be president.” And I know now that I’m definitely never gonna be president. Not unless everyone gets real cool about a bunch of stuff really quickly. Based on my ten-year-old memory, Bill Clinton is about 13 feet tall. And he leaned down, because, well, I was wearing this button that I bought outside the fundraiser. It was a cartoon button of George H. W. Bush, and it had a quail flying over his head, and it was shitting on his head. And it said, “Bird-brained.” And I thought it was very funny. And Bill Clinton leaned down so that only I could hear and he said, “Hey, man, I like your button.” And I said, “You can do whatever you want forever.” And he took my advice. And… it was the best night of my entire life.And I got home that night… I got home that night, and my dad was still awake, like, reading angry under one lamp, just like… And I went up to him and I went, “Hey! I’m gonna be a Democrat.” “And I’m gonna vote for Bill Clinton.” And without looking up at me, my dad just said, “You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.” You know, how you talk to a child. So, here’s the end of that story. That was 1992.Let’s flash forward five years to 1997. It is now 1997. I am a sophomore in high school, Bill Clinton is in his second term as president. And on the morning that the Monica Lewinsky scandal breaks on the cover of The New York Times. It had been on the Drudge Report, and then it was on the cover of The New York Times. That morning, I wake up to the newspaper hitting me in the face. I am a teenager asleep in bed, and the newspaper hits me in the face and falls open on my stomach. And I open my eyes to see my dad standing there dressed for work, and he says, “The other shoe just dropped.” And then my dad went in to work to find out that his law firm had been hired to defend Bill Clinton.Good night, Chicago. and thats mulaney for ya

[nefarious247]

“Young Turks” - Chapter One

The prase “young turk” is simple slang to denote someone who is a little rebellious, pushing at boundaries, someone who’s out … seeking new things.

(You can read this story here under the “Read More” or on AO3 here.)

Jack hiked his backpack up onto his shoulders and readjusted the heavy box he was carrying. He did not feel prepared at all for move-in day. Truth be told, he was happy to be out of his mother’s house. She was drunk all the time, and Jack felt like he’d spent the entirety of his life being an adult in her place. He felt a little guilty at the thought of leaving her, but he was also glad he didn’t have any siblings to leave behind at the mercy of her. This was his life now - all the way across the country, no more dealing with mom and all her problems. He was going to live a life that someone his age should live, finally. Whatever happened to his mother, well, that just wasn’t his responsibility anymore.

He’d scoped out his dorms days ago to make sure he knew where he was going and what the best path to take there would be. As he lugged his few belongings up a set of narrow, dimly-lit stairs, he wondered what life would be like now. He’d have a roommate, of course, but he didn’t know  what he’d be like. Jack shrugged the thought off and walked up the hallway on the fourth floor of the dormitory. He finally reached 492 and sighed in relief. He awkwardly turned the handle on the door and entered the room, only a little surprised to see that his roommate was already there.

Jack dropped his things on his bed and turned to say hello. His roommate hadn’t looked up from unpacking, so instead, Jack stayed quiet and simply looked around the room. His roommate, still a major unknown, was tall, fit, and handsome. He had wavy blond hair that fell just past his chin, and piercing blue eyes. He was wearing a plain tan shirt, loose jeans, and a battered red hat backwards. He was unpacking stack after stack of magazines and books and gently placing them on the bookshelf under his lofted bed. Jack saw that he’d already hung a few posters from what looked to be shooter films.

“Hey,” Jack introduced himself finally, “I’m Jack. I guess we’re roommates?” The other man looked up from his boxes and blushed, looking rather embarrassed for not saying hello earlier.

“Hah, yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m Ryan. Nice to meet you.” He quickly thrust his hand out for Jack to shake, and they shared an uncomfortable moment.

“Nice to meet you too,” Jack mumbled and pushed his glasses up on his nose. He started to unpack his box, and he decided to try to strike up a conversation with Ryan.

“So uh, there’s a ‘welcome day’ party or something going on at the student union tonight, are you going?” he asked as he put sheets on his bed.

“Oh,” Ryan responded, disinterested, “uh, probably not? Why, are you going?”

“Eh, probably not,” Jack laughed.

“Not the partying type, eh?” Ryan chuckled back. Jack grinned.

“I guess you could say that. I’d honestly rather shower and go to bed,” Jack replied with a sigh.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” Ryan agreed. He started to collapse his now-empty boxes as he continued to speak, “Didn’t bring much, huh?”

“Didn’t have much to bring,” Jack replied, his tone dropping slightly. He’d suddenly become self-conscious of his small collection of possessions: one set of twin sheets, about a week’s worth of clothes, a lamp, a few books, and his scant school supplies. He hadn’t had a chance to go out and buy a towel, or shampoo, and he realized his desire to shower would have to be put on hold.

“I uh, actually gotta go shopping tonight, so I definitely won’t be at the party,” Jack said, trying to cover his embarrassment.

“Hey,” Ryan said quickly, “I actually have to get some things too. Wanna come with me?”

Jack turned to look at Ryan with a grin, “You got a car?” Ryan nodded.

“Good, ‘cause I took the bus here,” he laughed, “yeah, sure, I’ll come with you.”

They pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot after a quick stop at the nearest McDonald’s and headed into the store. They both made a beeline for the towels - apparently Ryan had forgotten to pack his. Jack felt less embarrassed about his own lack of toiletries. Over the next hour, Ryan stocked up on all kinds of cheap foods, extra clothes, razors, and a few new books. Jack grabbed an inexpensive family-size bottle of shampoo, the cheapest towel he could find, and a few more t-shirts to add to his wardrobe. Ryan eyed Jack’s much smaller cart load and hummed to himself.

When they went to pay, Ryan whipped out cash before Jack could even get his wallet. Jack was horrified, and he begged Ryan not to pay for his things, but Ryan refused. The cashier was confused and a little afraid of how sternly Ryan had reprimanded Jack, but they were soon done and back in Ryan’s car. All the embarrassment had returned to Jack, and his entire face glowed red.

“Why’d you do that?” He asked, mostly confused but also a little angry.

“Look, my parents are paying every penny of my tuition. They paid for this car, the gas that’s in it, and they give me four hundred dollars a month for groceries. From now on, if you need anything, just tell me,” Ryan said sternly.

“I can’t ask you to buy everything for me, I’ve got money, and I barely know you! Plus it’s your parents’ money, wouldn’t they be mad if they found out you’re spending it on someone else?”Jack argued frantically.

“We’re gonna be roommates for at least a year, better get to know each other!” Ryan practically growled, “and no, my parents barely noticed that I left for college, they don’t care what I spend my beans on.” Ryan paused.

“Besides, that’s way too much money for me to spend on myself every month. I couldn’t go through that much if I tried! You’ve gotta help me with this burden, please,” he laughed, his entire aura softening. A weak smile tugged at Jack’s lips, and he scoffed and shoved Ryan.

“Agreed, then,” Ryan declared, “I’ll be Mr. Moneybags and you be my friend, tight?”

“You can’t buy friends, dude,” Jack laughed.

“Shut up!” Ryan exclaimed.

Jack opened the door to his and Ryan’s room and flopped down on his bed. He rubbed his hands over his face and through his thick red beard. He pulled his glasses off and abandoned them beside himself on the bed. He groaned and closed his eyes as he pressed his hands hard on them.

Ryan rolled over in his bed and stared at Jack for a little bit before asking, “Rough morning?” Jack only grunted.

“You don’t know how lucky you are that you don’t have eight-A-M’s,” Jack sighed.

“Oh, believe me, the way you act when you come back from yours is enough,” Ryan said solemnly.

“This class is gonna kill me,” Jack moaned as he rolled over to lie on his belly. He clutched his pillow tight to his face.

“I believe in you,” Ryan teased. Jack’s hand appeared from under his pillow, and he flipped Ryan off. Ryan only laughed and rolled back over in his bed.

They’d only been in school for a month, but a lot had happened in that time. Jack and Ryan had developed a mutual affinity for Ryan’s favorite shooter films - Licence to Kill, To Live and Die in LA, and Reservoir Dogs - as well as Jack’s favorite bands - The Smiths, Simon & Garfunkel, and The Replacements. Jack was helping Ryan with his civics class, and Ryan helped Jack with his computer science class. They mutually-struggled with their calculus and geology classes, and Jack helped Ryan memorize lines for his play while Ryan helped Jack with his numbers for his budgeting class. They typically avoided on-campus events, unless they were business- or theatre-related, which played to Jack’s and Ryan’s majors respectively.

Additionally, they’d optimised their time together to get shopping, homework, and extracurricular requirements done in time to watch movies on Ryan’s new VHS player they’d bought in their second week. When Jack saw it on sale at the store, he’d planted the seed of want in Ryan’s mind by pretending to offhandedly mention how cool it’d be to be able to watch Ryan’s favorite movies in their dorm. Ryan dedicated one-hundred and twenty of his dollars to the VHS, a small boxy TV, and five of his favorite titles. They’d wasted no time setting up the TV and VHS player in their dorm, and spent the weekend watching all of Ryan’s picks. They bought a few new tapes every week and had their own movie nights on the weekends. As Ryan had predicted, his parents didn’t bat an eye at how easily he went through his allowance every month.

Ryan rolled back over, having suddenly remembered something he urgently needed to tell Jack, “Hey, good news!” Jack looked up from his pillow expectantly.

“Kris, that cute brunette in my theatre class, y’know, the one who’s super into lighting? Yeah, she’s seen you hanging around in the theatre during rehearsal, and she told me that she thinks you’re ‘quite the looker’.”

Jack frowned slightly, “Eh, I’m not really interested. Sweet of her to say so, though. I thought this beard might be unsightly.”

Ryan frowned hard, upset that his foolproof plan to cheer Jack up had failed miserably. He huffed and turned back to face the wall. “You’re impossible.”

“What?” Jack scoffed, “because I don’t particularly care about that one girl in your theatre class?”

“No,” Ryan retorted, “because you’re so damn hard to cheer up.”

“I’m fine,” Jack laughed unconvincingly. Ryan knew he was lying, but he left it for now. He was exhausted, and Jack would be more willing to talk when he was done with his classes. For now, they could just relax and sleep. Nine twenty-five was too early to talk about real stress and difficult classes.

When Ryan’s alarm went off two hours later, Jack was already gone. Ryan got up and got dressed; he ran a comb through his hair and studied his face briefly in the mirror. He grabbed his backpack and strolled out of the dorm. He sauntered out into the brisk October air and hurried to class. He slept through his first class, lazily took notes that slowly deteriorated into doodles during his second, and he ended up skipping his third after having decided that he was too tired to attend. He stopped by the mailboxes on his way back to his dorm and picked up his mail. He stuffed a couple of envelopes and a subscription magazine into his bag and retrieved a second key from his lanyard. He walked up a few feet and unlocked the box labeled “Pattillo, Jack”. He’d stolen Jack’s key a few weeks earlier when Jack said he would never get mail. Ryan checked the box every time he checked his own, but thus far it had been empty. Today wasn’t any different.

Ryan was surprised that Jack never got any mail at all - not even letters from the college. He thought for sure Jack would get a letter prompting him to join on-campus clubs, just as he had, but his mailbox was empty even then. Ryan briefly wondered if someone was stealing Jack’s mail, but he remembered that he had the key and would have noticed if someone had taken it. He shrugged it off and made his way back to the dorm.

Jack was back, working on homework with his books and notebooks scattered all over his bed. Ryan climbed onto his bed and opened his letters. He chuckled a little at the first one, but frowned when he read the second. He took the four hundred dollar check out of the envelope and briefly skimmed the scrap of paper inside before crumpling it up and tossing it into the garbage. He pulled out his wallet and placed the check safely inside. He returned his attention to the first letter to read it again.

“You got two letters today?” Jack asked, having been distracted from his work by the sound of Ryan’s crumpling.

“Oh, yeah,” Ryan responded, still half-reading the letter, “from my brothers.”

“That’s them on the wall, right?” Jack pointed at a polaroid picture that showed two young boys with their arms wrapped around each others’ shoulders. Ryan looked up and grunted.

“It’s an old picture, but yeah,” he commented lazily, “apparently they joined AV Club and Astronomy Club this year.”

“How old are they?” Jack asked.

“Hmm… They’re fifteen,” Ryan said after a moment of thinking.

“That’s a lot for fourteen-year-olds to do on top of school,” Jack observed.

“Yeah, they do sports too. Cross Country in the fall and Track in the spring,” Ryan elaborated, “they’ve always been the busy type, y’know?”

“What about you?”

“Pshh,” Ryan scoffed, “I didn’t do anything in high school except get into trouble.”

“For real?” Jack was intrigued. Ryan didn’t really seem like the troublesome sort, at least not as far as Jack knew.

“Yeah, I was in detention almost every day,” Ryan chuckled, but his tone was sour, “I got in a lot of fights at school, and after school I’d go out and pick more.”

“Real ball buster, huh?”

“Hah, yeah,” Ryan muttered, “I guess you could say that.”

They stayed quiet for a moment. Jack suddenly felt awkward, realizing that something was bothering Ryan. Before he could say anything, Ryan piped up again.

“What about you? What’d you do in high school?”

“Oh, uh,” Jack thought for a minute, “Well, I was in Key Club and I was the Vice President of Student Council. Kept me busy enough.”

“You were a good kid, then?” Ryan asked as he shot Jack a sly grin.

“Eh, I guess,” Jack muttered, “I wanted to do well enough in school to be able to go to a far-away college, so I guess, yeah, I tended to be pretty good back then.”

“Back then? You telling me you’ve got some secret mischief now?” Ryan asked.

“I mean if you count watching movies all weekend instead of doing classwork, then yeah,” Jack laughed. He fell back onto his pillow, upsetting one of his textbooks.

“Why’d you want to go to college far away from home?” Ryan questioned.

“That’s,” Jack paused, “well, that’s kind of a lot. I guess the short answer is I didn’t have a great home life.”

“Sorry,” Ryan said awkwardly, “I, uh, I get that.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Jack replied sincerely.

“You leave any siblings back there?”

“Nope,” Jack said, “mom knew better than to have more than one kid, and I can be grateful for that I guess. You ever worry about yours?”

“Eh, a little,” Ryan admitted, “but I think they’ll do better than I did. They don’t go looking for trouble.”

They fell silent again. Jack shuffled uncomfortably in his bed, and Ryan sighed quietly. They rarely talked about their home lives, and now they understood why. Life before college was messy and complicated, even if they were barely saying anything.

Ryan got off of his bed and turned the TV on. “You up for The Rocky Horror Picture Show?” he asked. Jack nodded. Ryan took the tape out of the case and put it in the little slot in the front of the TV. He pressed buttons on the front as he was prompted to and the movie started.

Jack had only caught glimpses of the movie on TV at home, but he’d never sat down and watched the whole thing. As far as he was aware, it was a racy movie, but Ryan claimed it was better than Reservoir Dogs. Jack declared he’d be the judge of that - he couldn’t see how a movie made almost twenty years before Reservoir Dogs could even hold a candle to it. Ryan swore he’d love it.

Jack didn’t take his eyes off the screen once. Ryan was secretly very pleased with himself for choosing such a hit. There was a point about halfway into the film when Jack looked like he very much wanted to ask a question, but he stayed quiet and focused on the movie. Ryan noted this observation and made a point to return to it when the film was over. For the time being, however, he let Jack watch in peace.

Nearly two hours later, when the film was over, Ryan broke the noise of the credit music to inquire what Jack thought of the movie.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” Jack said, a mystified glaze over his eyes as he watched the credits roll by, “that was incredible!”

“Told you so,” Ryan grinned. Before he could ask Jack anything else, Jack posed a question of his own.

“So was the main character…”

“Gay?” Ryan interjected.

“No,” Jack shook his head, “I guess I don’t know what I’m asking. What… God, that sounds horrible… Okay, whatever, what is he? Or she? I don’t really know.”

“Jack, are you telling me you don’t know what a transvestite is?” Ryan laughed.

“Yeah,” Jack grumbled, “I guess so.”

Ryan laughed at Jack’s expense before he explained, “This is probably not the best explanation in the world, but a transvestite is basically someone who dresses like the opposite gender and, like, lives their life that way.”

“Oh, okay,” Jack said, still not totally understanding.

“Is there anything else you don’t know about?” Ryan teased.

“Shut up,” Jack laughed, “Transvestites weren’t exactly a big thing in my hometown!”

“I’m not really sure they’re a big thing in anyone’s town,” Ryan wheezed between laughs.

“You’re an asshole!” Jack threw a friendly punch Ryan’s way, and a lot of things happened all at once.

Ryan’s right palm met Jack’s fist and twisted his arm sharply. Jack cried out in surprise and Ryan dropped his arm in an instant. Ryan leapt to his feet, his face glowing red. Jack shot him a quizzical look.

“Sorry,” Ryan mumbled, terribly embarrassed, “I just thought…”

“It’s fine, dude,” Jack said, shaking out his arm as if to prove that it still worked. Ryan smiled weakly and went to eject the tape from the TV.

As Ryan was putting the tape away, Jack braved another question, “So like, are Transvestites women who used to be men?”

“No,” Ryan said as he returned the movie to the shelf with the others, “that’s a Transgender person. I’m not really that well-versed on the subject, but I guess the big difference is how they present themselves to other people? Like, okay, do you know what a Drag Queen is?” Jack shook his head no, “Um, okay, well they’re men that dress like women and perform. Not really like strippers, but, you get it? I would say that Drag Queens are Transvestites. And, um, Transgender people are like, actually that gender. Like… oh! Candy Darling!”

Jack stared blankly at Ryan in utter confusion. Ryan sighed.

“Andy Warhol? The artist? Candy Darling was one of his main models,” Ryan explained, “actually, come to think of it, a lot of Transgender women modelled for him.”

“I know who Andy Warhol is, but that doesn’t really explain anything,” Jack admitted. Ryan just shrugged and returned to his bed.

“It’s not that important,” Ryan sighed, facedown in his pillow, “I’m going to sleep, I’m exhausted.”

“G’night, Ryan,” Jack yawned as he pushed his books off his bed and burrowed into his blankets.

Halloween came quickly. Jack and Ryan spent most of October running around like chickens with their heads cut off, working on projects and papers, and studying for exams. Ryan’s play was the first weekend of November, Jack had a mock federal budget due, and they both had lab journals to turn in. They spent more time than ever holed up on the fifth floor of the library, where they could spread out over the entire floor. They created a studying bolthole, and they were there working away every spare moment.

When everything was finally finished - save for Ryan’s play - and classes were finished, Ryan and Jack addressed the issue of Halloween. There were likely hundreds of parties going on, and they’d been invited to a few by their friends and Ryan’s castmates. They simply weren’t sure what to do. They could always spend the night in watching the small collection of Spielberg films they’d accrued, or they could go nab some half-priced candy at Wal-Mart. Of course, they also felt obliged to go to their friends’ parties. In the end, they decided to dress up and go out.

Ryan drove to a pop-up Halloween store that had been set up in an abandoned department store. Surprisingly, even on Halloween in a college town, they still had loads of costumes. Ryan had a bit of an issue finding a costume tall enough for him, but they eventually found good ones and headed for the checkout line.

Ryan found a grim reaper costume, complete with a tattered black robe, a horrifying skull mask, and an enormous scythe. He was ecstatic to look so terrifying, and Jack was already on edge imagining someone of Ryan’s stature cloaked in that monstrosity. Jack had found a Rocky Horror Picture Show costume, a Frank N. Furter one to be exact, and it came with a matching wig.

“Do you think I should shave my beard?” Jack asked.

Ryan considered it for a moment before responding, “Absolutely.”

An hour later, Jack was clean-shaven and they were dressed to the nines. Not an inch of Ryan’s skin was visible, and he looked like a real wraith had stepped out of the astral plane to haunt the streets. Jack had a sharp but curved jawline hidden under his beard, and in the full costume, he looked a lot like Tim Curry in his glory days. Ryan painted his face and used some of the stage makeup to finish off the look, and together they looked incredible.

They made their way to Ryan’s friend Kris’s party, which was off-campus at her house. Ryan drove to the party, and they were able to park in her driveway. She’d offered a spot in the garage even, to keep Ryan’s car safe from drunk people, but he figured it would be fine so long as it was off the road. Kris was dressed as Marilyn Monroe, and she definitely looked the part.

“Jack? Is that you?” she asked, ogling over Jack’s costume, “you look incredible!”

“Thanks!” Jack smiled, not at all playing the part.

Ryan and Jack followed Kris through a small crowd of people, mostly other Theatre majors, to the back yard, where there was music, drinks, and all kinds of games. Ryan saw a bunch of his castmates and tech students he knew, and Jack recognized a couple of the student directors. They struck up conversation and danced under the strings of orange and purple lights Kris had hung from tree to tree.

When someone came around handing out drinks, Jack took one to taste, but Ryan refused. Jack shot him a funny look and he just shrugged. Jack rolled his eyes and tasted the beer. It wasn’t great, but it would do. He wouldn’t have more than just the one, but he would enjoy the one he allowed himself to have. Soon, he and Ryan were just dancing in a tightly-packed group of people.

The sun slowly set, and the party got less and less sober. The crowd got closer, and everyone was sweating, even in the chilly evening air. At some point, Ryan and Jack got separated. Jack didn’t mind terribly, he just slowly made his way out of the center of the yard to the back where people were bobbing for apples - or, rather, trying to, but they were too drunk to actually get any.

One of the people attempting to bob for apples - a man in a Fresh Prince-era Will Smith outfit - stumbled over to Jack and swung a red solo cup sloshing with beer his way.

“Didn’t know dressin’ up as a faggot was an option!” he laughed.

Jack rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored the guy. He was, however, keeping a weather eye out for Ryan, almost desperately waiting for him to return from wherever he’d gotten off to. The man wasn’t letting up though.

“Seriously - hic - you look like - hic - a dimestore tranny!” the man said between drunken hiccups.

“This is a real costume,” Jack said smoothly, “I’m dressed up like a character from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

“Yeah, the fag movie!” the guy laughed, spilling some of his beer on Jack.

“It’s - you know what, I don’t care,” Jack scoffed as he shoved the man away and turned to leave the yard. The guy grabbed Jack by the shoulder and stopped him. He sloppily sloshed more beer onto Jack, and he looked angry now.

“Where you goin’, fag?” he spat.

“Get off of me!” Jack exclaimed and shoved him away again.

“Fag on the loose!” the guy cried as Jack hurried away along the fence.

Jack could feel his face getting hot. He was glad he had the face paint on to hide how red he probably was underneath it. He climbed the stairs to the back porch and ran into one of Ryan’s friends who was also avoiding the beer. He struck up a conversation with the guy, Stuart, and recounted what had just happened with an air of inconvenience.

“God,” Stuart groaned, “Derrick’s the worst, especially when he’s drunk.”

So his name was Derrick. Jack made a note to avoid him in the future. Jack and Stuart moved away from the unsavory conversation and discussed school of all things, while drunk college kids milled about around them.

Earlier, when Ryan and Jack got separated, Ryan retreated into the house to use the bathroom. When he returned to the kitchen, he found Kris being harassed by friends of someone she’d invited. He stormed into the kitchen looking like Death himself and told the guys off.

“Knock it off,” Ryan said.

“Or what, you’re gonna reap our souls?” the first guy, a redhead wearing a shoddy He-Man costume, retorted, feigning intimidation.

Ryan pulled his hood down and his mask off to reveal the murderous expression on his face and growled, “get out.” At the sight of his face, the guys lost all the desire to argue and practically bolted out of the kitchen.

Ryan put his mask back on and turned to Kris, “Some people, I swear.”

“Thanks, Ryan,” she said awkwardly, “I know, it’s like, I threw this party, the least you could do is respect me!”

Ryan and Kris left the kitchen and started up a conversation in Kris’s living room, where a group of people were watching The Shining and drinking more than they should. Kris grabbed another beer and offered Ryan some, but he declined again. She shrugged and continued the conversation. More people were crowding into the room, some there to actually watch the movie and some there only because they wanted to sit. Eventually, Kris and Ryan ended up crammed into one recliner. The Shining had ended by that time, and someone had gotten up and changed the movie to Friday the 13th. Kris scowled and turned away from the TV. She was now entirely in Ryan’s lap, mostly facing him. He had to awkwardly wrap his left arm around her to keep her from falling out of the chair.

“Sorry,” she groaned, “I just hate this movie so much!”

“Why do you own it?” Ryan chuckled.

“I don’t! It’s one of my roommates’,” she said. She leaned against Ryan’s chest and tried to block out the sounds of the TV.

Ryan’s arm tightened around Kris instinctively, and she snuggled into his embrace. Her hand had settled gently on his shoulder. Ryan kept talking through all this, although he was now hyper-focused on her every move. He was telling her about how he’d seen this movie a lot as a kid and it didn’t really freak him out anymore. Her ear was right over his heart, and she let the steady beat of his heart and the hum of his voice distract her from the screams emanating from the other side of the room.

“We don’t have to sit in here if you don’t want to watch this movie,” he said suddenly, having broken from his monologue.

The next thing he knew, he and Kris were locked in her room, and he was trailing kisses down her jaw. His cape and mask were abandoned on the floor, along with Kris’s blonde wig. Kris pushed him onto her bed and fell with him, and he rolled over so that she was underneath him. He sat up and pulled off his gray undershirt before laying back down to resume kissing her.

They moved together, the sound of the movie and the music permeating the room and creating an energetic ambiance. The entire room was dark, except for the spray of light that came in through the window from the backyard. Their bodies were hot; Ryan, despite his size and strength, was gentle with Kris. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, emotionally or physically.

When Ryan rolled off of Kris, breathing heavily and dripping in sweat, he held her close and placed a soft kiss on her hair. She leaned into his embrace and hummed softly. His arms wrapped tighter around her, and he intertwined his legs with hers.

“So, uh,” Ryan whispered, “you still have that crush on Jack, or…”

“I was kinda thinking you and I have more in common, so…” Kris laughed softly, “besides, between me and you, you’re cuter.”

Ryan kissed her again and nuzzled her with his chin, his short beard tugging at her hair. She closed her eyes and sighed happily.

“Shit,” Ryan groaned, “I forgot about Jack.”

“We should go find him, probably,” Kris agreed, realizing what Ryan meant.

Ryan crawled out of Kris’s bed and pulled his jeans on. She slipped back into her dress and picked her wig up off the floor. Once they looked presentable, they sneaked down the stairs past a couple drunk kids and left the house. Ryan scanned the crowd in the yard, trying to pick out Jack. Kris nudged him and pointed to her right, where Jack and Stuart were sat having a heated discussion about the differences between Macbeth and Banquo. Ryan rolled his eyes and smiled.

“I guess he’s fine,” he groaned. Kris laughed.

[aacd2020]

我希望国家法律的保护I'ma Canadian citizen. I hope to enjoy the protection of the country and the laws of Canada, We have: Canada is particularly powerful (criminal organization - HSBC) with the HSBC Corporate group, terrorist robbery. Tens of millions of Citadel hotel crimes, complaints and reports

The most respected judicial leaders and legal experts, Your Excellency, hello! :

Why I chose to turn to the Canadian state and government for protection to keep us alive: Because my family of five is:

"Desperate" in: "desperate for death", we did not want to kill ourselves, we were indirectly killed by (criminal organization), we encountered: Canada is particularly powerful (criminal organization - HSBC) with the HSBC corporate group, terrorist robbery crime,

1, the HSBC is particularly serious. On behalf of corporate organised crime:

A, why:foreign HSBC banks do not comply with Canadian national laws? Violation (Banking law + Criminal law + Constitution + Human Rights law + Property Law)

B, why: HSBC does not comply with the financial regulations and policies of the government of Canada? (Can not violate national laws + can not in the name of arrears + evict homeowners + must protect the legitimate rights and interests of citizens + can not be organized by enterprises to murder and rob terrorist crimes) This is: the world shocked "vicious terrorist crime case

C, why: HSBC violated (loan agreement + court judgment order) Bank breach of contract: two people signed an independent loan agreement, why did the bank force me to pay the principal and interest for 7 years, why did the bank condone, support and protect the fraud group to loan 2.1 million yuan, not pay a cent of the principal and interest for eight years, and fraudulently occupied 50% of the castle house shares? Why does the bank not execute and support the order of the Provincial High Court for the partnership loan? Transfer Mr. Yang, withdraw from the housing ownership certificate shares,

D, why: HSBC breach (falsifying evidence + deceiving court + deceiving community + deceiving police + armed robbery of tens of millions of private property Castle Guesthouse)

2, the criminal Code states :(falsifying evidence + deceiving the court) is a felony, HSBC three times in a row. Provincial High Court hearing: asking the court for several judgements :(eviction + seizure + sale), the court refused to sell: fraud failed,

3, HSBC took armed robbery in violation of the law,(first to seize the house + after the judgment + after the sale). World wonder: HSBCBank robbed a huge amount of private property without a court order, in violation of the criminal law. The Constitution, the owner of the Castle Hotel. Is a private property, the house was seized by banks and enterprises, forced leasing, theft of five-star hotels, countless gold and silver jewelry. Antique calligraphy and painting, automobile. Mechanical facilities, there is no statutory acceptance procedures, how to evaluate the amount of robbed property?

4, the state decides the punishment of the bank enterprise organization: (the nature of the crime + the amount of the crime), the compensation amount is hundreds of millions of Canadian dollars

If the Canadian government does not impose a heavier penalty: "as a judicial allusion, in the future. Several foreign banks: Follow suit, and Canada becomes a terror state

5. Why: HSBC. From civil case, upgraded to corporate organized crime, continues to escalate to: "indirect homicide, robbery. Terrorist crimes "?

HSBC breaks Canadian law. Seriously damage the image of the bank, why the bank does not adopt "negotiated repayment", "deferred repayment, sale repayment", why the bank does not choose. Judicial procedure? (trial first + judgment first + auction first + surrender later).Why take armed robbery of house? B: It's a terrorist crime and why banks are illegal. Don't let homeowners sell their homes to pay for them? It's my private property right. I only owe 1.6 million yuan in loans. You can't put a value of 20 million Canadian dollars. The Castle Hotel, perpetrated a horrific robbery, and the bank made a fair and legal profit. Instead of making money from robbery,

I want law enforcement to organize a team, conduct an investigation, the bank to pay the rent, and compensate the homeowners

Yang Xuanwen, North American Chinese Mutual Cooperative,The 2024-2-18

我是加拿大公民.我希望得到加拿大国家和法律的保护

我们遭遇到:加拿大特别强大的(犯罪组织-汇丰银行)以汇丰银行企业集团,恐怖抢劫.数千万城堡宾馆犯罪,控告.投诉报告,最尊敬的司法领导和法律专家,阁下,您好！：

我为什么选择向加拿大国家和政府,寻求保护,让我们活下来：因为我们全家五个人,处于:

”走投无路”处于:”死亡绝境”,我们不想自杀,我们是被(犯罪组织)间接杀人, 我们遭遇到:加拿大特别强大的(犯罪组织-汇丰银行)以汇丰银行企业集团,恐怖抢劫犯罪,1,汇丰银行特别严重的是.代表企业组织犯罪:

A,为什么:外国汇丰银行不遵守加拿大国家法律？违反(银行法+刑法+宪法+人权法+物权法)

B,为什么:汇丰银行不遵守加拿大政府的金融管理法规和政策？(不能违反国家法律+不能以欠款为名+驱逐房主+必须保护公民合法权益+不能以企业组织杀人抢劫恐怖犯罪)这是:震惊世界”的恶性恐怖犯罪案件

C,为什么:汇丰银行违反(贷款协议+法院判决令)银行违约: 俩人分别签协议独立贷款,为什么银行强制我一个人支付7年本息,为什么银行纵容,支持,保护诈骗集团贷款210万元,八年不支付一分钱本息,还诈骗强占城堡房屋50%股份?为什么银行.不执行,不支持,省高院判决令,合伙贷款.转移杨先生,退出房屋产权证股份,

D,为什么:汇丰银行违反(伪造证据+欺骗法院+欺骗社区+欺骗警察+武装抢劫数千万私人财产城堡宾馆)

2,刑法规定:(伪造证据+欺骗法院)是重罪,汇丰银行连续三次.省高院听证会:要求法院数次判决:(驱逐+扣押+出售),法院拒绝出售:诈骗失败,

3,汇丰银行又违法采取武装抢劫,(先抢房+后判决+后出售).世界奇葩: 汇丰银行没有法院判决令,抢劫私人巨额财产,违反刑法.宪法, 城堡宾馆产权人.是私人财产,房屋又被银行企业组织抢夺霸占,强制租赁,盗窃五星级宾馆,无数金银珠宝.古董字画.汽车.机械设施,没有法定交房验收程序,怎么评估抢劫财物数量金额？

4,国家决定银行企业组织处罚: (犯罪性质+犯罪金额),赔偿金额数亿加元

加拿大政府如果不从重处罚:”作为司法典故,今后.数家外国银行:纷纷效仿,加拿大变成恐怖国家

5,为什么:汇丰银行.从民事案件,升级为企业组织犯罪,继续升级为:”间接杀人,抢劫.恐怖犯罪”?

汇丰银行破坏加拿大法律.严重损害银行形象,银行为什么不采用“协商还款”“延期还款,卖房还款“银行为什么不选择.司法程序？(先审判+先判决+先拍卖+后交房).为什么采取武装抢劫房屋.这是恐怖分子犯罪行为,为什么银行违法.不充许房主自己卖房还款？这是我的私人财产权.我只欠160万元贷款.你不能将价值,2000万加元.城堡宾馆.实施恐怖抢劫,银行公平合法收息赢利.不是依靠抢劫赚钱，

希望执法部门,组织团队,进行调查审核,银行交租金,赔偿房主损失

杨宣文,北美中国互助合作社

,2024-2-18

[lubbuthedigitalnomad]

The Cherry On Top Of The Fruitcake

Hello from Kathmandu! I hope you are happy and healthy.

It may not surprise you to learn that I am considered just a bit unusual or even strange in certain parts of the world, and very strange or even bizarre in some other places. Thailand is one of those places.

This week’s eight hundred or so words are from the book Reincarnation Through Common Sense, and is about a half-year spent simultaneously in heaven and hell. I was living in a small Buddhist monastery/nunnery in extremely rural southern Thailand. The hosts that rescued and cared for me accounted for most of the heaven part. As is true for so many folks, the thoughts bouncing around in my skull accounted for much of the hell part.

What my robed hosts thought to be the most fun during this experience was that I already knew how to laugh in hell.

They taught me how to get out.

Thanks for reading and clicking. Be well. Love, Tenzin

“The most revolutionary act that a person in this country can perform is to be happy.” Patch Adams

p.s. As always, if you find these weekly bits bothersome, let me know and I’ll stop sending them to you. If you find the reading at all enjoyable, please — it literally takes only seconds — click one or more or all of the highlighted backlinks following this paragraph. This simple process is completely without risk, cost, or difficulty. All it does is bring you to the site that is highlighted. Each click is a big help in pushing Fearless Puppy up in the Google rankings. Whether you browse the sites or close the windows immediately, your help has been delivered. Thank you!

FEARLESS PUPPY WEBSITE BLOG

FEARLESS PUPPY ON AMERICAN ROAD/AMAZON PAGE

REINCARNATION THROUGH COMMON SENSE/AMAZON PAGE

FEARLESS WEBSITE

The Cherry on Top of the Fruitcake

Many tourists act a little wilder while on vacation in a foreign country than they do at home. This is even more pronounced in Thailand where there are so very many opportunities to do the wild-and-crazy. The locals around here are usually very tolerant of tourist behavior, but they talk about you. This is true anywhere. It doesn’t matter whether you are in Thailand, Paris, or at the North Pole. If you are from out of town and a little different, at least a few of the locals are going to bust your chops. Gossip of this type happens whether you are wild and crazy or not.

There may also be some finger pointing and giggling. Most of the finger pointing is just good-natured amazement, especially in a place like rural Southeast Asia where the locals find a zoom lens camera about as miraculous as we would find a working intergalactic starship with transporter beam. Mild shock about foreign customs or bafflement with advanced technologies is harmless. But those are not the topics here. The topic here is what to do when something that is actually malicious comes your way. This topic is headlined by the concept of (figuratively, of course) “staying in your own canoe.” It includes letting bad stuff that flies in one of your ears fly as quickly out the other. Remembering these two notions can be strong support beams for an unshakable perseverance in the face of adversity, insult, or even danger.

In spite of heavy competition from my fellow travelers for the position as cherry on top of the international fruitcake, I have become known in southern Thailand as “THE Crazy Alien.” Most of my fellow non-locals who get any special attention from the natives are simply drunk, loud, and usually between 20 and 40 years old. The locals expect this. But when they see an American person who is a bit older, they suppose that he is like the Americans they see on TV. So when they look at me, they see something that falls very far out of their frame of reference. Here is a person they cannot explain. He is not at all normal.

He is living in a Buddhist Temple on a foreign continent without studying Buddhism. He cannot communicate in or understand the native language. No one within miles speaks English. He has no money at all, has no home waiting for him anywhere and no way to get there if he did. And he is writing a book about a culture and religion that he is slowly learning very little about. When the book is finished, he has plans to get back to America somehow and (with no business connections or related experience at all) sell novice writing for lots of money. He will then donate all the money to build combination educational/spiritual resorts that are entertaining destinations for guests. The main purpose of these resorts (even more so than benefitting seekers and guests) will be to perpetually return huge profits that will fund an increase in the number of Wisdom Teachers in the world. The purpose of that increase is to help, to as great an extent as possible, alleviate suffering in human beings and in all other living creatures affected by humans. His long-term goal is to build enough of these resorts to acquire enough profits to make it financially possible to increase the total number of Wisdom Professionals in the world by one percent.

Logic dictates that the odds of his success may be roughly the same as the odds of one person winning a multimillion-dollar lottery jackpot prize twice in the same week.

The Head Teacher and most respected member of this rural Thai community has given all the compassion of Mother Teresa to the foreign lunatic, including hospitality and privileges usually afforded only to people wearing robes. The American cherry-on-top-of-the-fruitcake person works on the writing in his isolated cabin with the intensity and introspection of a lone monk, taking occasional breaks to hang out in silence with the real monks and nuns. He writes with pens found on the street, on napkins and scrap paper scavenged from the nearest Internet cafe twenty miles away. He stops only once or twice a month in order to completely fall off the other end of life’s pendulum by acquiring massive doses of expense-free alcohol, ganja, and lodging from friends that manage fancy tourist resorts on the beaches near that Internet cafe.

Even the folks living and working in the resort towns are not used to seeing behavior like this — not even from the most certifiably loony and highly medicated tourists. I must seem even more bizarre to those of my neighbors who have never been out of this two hundred resident hamlet adjoining the Temple grounds, and are unfamiliar with those tourists.

It is very lucky for me that Thai folks respect crazy more than Americans do.

Sometimes I wonder exactly what they think of me — but not often.

Every moment spent thinking about what other people are thinking about me is a moment I’m not thinking about what I actually need to be thinking about. It would surely suck to be on my deathbed watching someone else’s perceptions of my life flashing before my eyes.

I don’t have the time to worry and wonder if other people think I’m nuts. I have books to write and Wisdom Teachers to sponsor.

But I do have a sense of logic. It is easy to see how what I’m doing might look strange to others. It is even easy to understand why some folks might think me a bonafide lunatic.

Maybe I am one.

But if you are reading this, maybe I’m not.

Many thanks to the friends of Fearless Puppy at the Pema Boutique Hotel for their wonderful help and support.

About the Author

Doug “Ten” Rose may be the biggest smartass as well as one of the most entertaining survivors of the hitchhiking adventurers that used to cover America’s highways. He is the author of the books Fearless Puppy on American Road and Reincarnation Through Common Sense, has survived heroin addiction and death, and is a graduate of over a hundred thousand miles of travel without ever driving a car, owning a phone, or having a bank account.

Ten Rose and his work are a vibrant part of the present and future as well as an essential remnant of a vanishing breed.

Follow him on Facebook, Doug Ten Rose

Travel Adventure Books can be an excellent gift to your friends and family, buy from Amazon.com

#traveladventurebooks #keepreading #kindlebooks

The books Fearless Puppy On American Road and Reincarnation Through Common Sense by this same author are also available through Amazon or the Fearless Puppy website, where there are sample chapters from those books. Entertaining TV/radio interviews with and newspaper articles about the author are also available there. There is no charge for anything but the complete books! All author profits from book sales will be donated to help sponsor an increase in the number of wisdom professionals on Earth, beginning with but certainly not limited to Buddhist monks and nuns.

If you missed the Introduction to the new book that will be titled Temple Dog Soldier, or would like to see several chapters of it that are available for free online, go to the Puppy website Blog section. This is a book in progress. You will be reading it as it is being created! Just like you, I don’t know what the next chapter is going to be about until it is written. As the Intro will tell you, this is a totally true story — and probably the only book ever written by and about a corpse journeying completely around the world!

[lanaisnotwool]

403 Transactional Wealth Versus Passive Wealth

http://moneyripples.com/2020/06/18/403-transactional-wealth-versus-passive-wealth/

Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results. Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/05/29/403--transactional-wealth-versus-passive-wealth

---------------------------------------------------------------Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. And we welcome you out for a wonderful show. Show that's for you, about you. Those of you that work so hard for your money, but you're ready for your money to start working hard for you. Now! You want that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 years from now. So you can do what you love to be with those that you love doing whatever the heck you love. Right? But on top of that, it's so much more than creating comfort and convenience. It's so much more than just working because you want to not because you have to, although that's awesome, right? But it's about creating a life of meaning, a life of purpose by being a rippler, creating ripple effects, other people's lives. Because as you are prospered, as you financially create abundance in your own life, you can help the others do the same as well. And that's the exciting thing guys, because as you're liberated, you can help others do the same. And you guys are already a big part of what my ripple effect is becoming, right? The vision that I've had. Thank you so much for making this possible because the fact that you're bingeing on this and sharing this with other people and talking about this and creating conversations, that kind of wealthy conversation, that kind of prosperity is what creates a ripple effect that changes the world in ways that no government or politician can. So guys, thank you so much for being a part of this movement.Here's a reminder. You can check out our website, MoneyRipples.com. There's great blogs on there. There's even the book Beyond Rice & Beans. Seven Secrets. If you have cash today, if you want to find ways to create money. Now, also, if you guys have questions for me, you say, Chris, I'm ready to take it to this next level. I need a plan that works. Something that creates prosperity and cash flow now. Passive income now. Feel free to shoot me an email, Chris@MoneyRipples.com. And you can go ahead and find out how to do that.So today I want to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while, right? And this is as I've already alluded to in several episodes, but I want to focus the episode just on this, because there's a massive difference between Transactional Wealth and Passive Wealth, right? Or Transactional Income and Passive Income. Now, so many people will, and I've seen this through the years. People will say, yeah, but Chris, like, so and so that I know is wealthy. They do this. Hey, Chris so-and-so is wealthy. They're buying mutual funds and they've got tens of millions of dollars. Or Chris, I know so-and-so does this.Now here's the key factor. Just because someone makes a good income doesn't mean that they know how to make good money. Now they'll make income, right? They know how to do their work well. If they're a business owner, they're probably good at sales and marketing, which is why they make money, right? That's kind of the given. But the truth is, is that for someone just to make good income actively like actively making income, where they have to keep hustling, keep working, even if it's in their own job or profession, the truth is they don't have any real freedom. They don't know what freedom is like because they're still a slave to make him money. And I started to see this more and more as I started meet more investors, right? Especially some of my investor friends that have these multi mega million dollar businesses. Awesome, massive businesses where they make so much money and they even have that a little bit of a lifestyle to go with it.But they're working overtime hours to get that life. And it kind of makes it kind of begs the question is that the life that you want, do you always want to have to be hunting for your food, always having to kill it? Now here's the thing. Here's a key principle. I want you to remember. I do believe like in the Bible, when God said to Adam and Eve, by the silhouette of your brow, you should work all the days of your life. Now I don't believe he said, Hey, by the sweat of your brow, you should work only to your age, 65. Right? I actually do believe there has to be work involved. You still have to earn your keep. This rent on earth by creating value in serving people and solving problems. And naturally money comes from that too. Especially in certain, most, mostly cases, money will come from it.Not always, but in many, many cases. Right? But there's also this lie too, that people think, Oh, well, passive income. That's the way to go, where I do nothing. And I get something guys that violates the law of the harvest. You can not receive what you don't give. Right? You've got to be a giver. You gotta be giving something to receive something in return. But that being said, I do not believe that you have to work your tail off nine to nine or eight to eight or whatever hours you have to work in order to have a great life. And I learned this the first, you know, when I first started really open up to this idea because I was the guy that I'd love to work. Right. Even when I could retire, I wanted to keep working and do something to keep myself busy. I'm still that way.Even though right now, I'm, you know, I'm able to be retired, right. I was able to get out of the rat race over three and a half years ago. Still. I love having a purpose. I love having a mission. And the ironic thing is I make more money now than I did before, when I was working overtime hours. And I'm working part time right now. But the thing I started realized was I was meet with a business coach, right. We actually got together for lunch. And as she was talking with me, she said, Chris, what are your goals in your business? I said, I want to be like the next Dave Ramsey, but an abundant version of him, right? Not the guy that's scrimping and saving and telling you live on rice and beans, but someone that's actually prosperous, you know, and he's got a massive foot, a hundred to $200 million a year business.Right. So I said, I want something like that. Maybe not a hundred million dollars a year, but Hey, I love 10 or 20 million a year. Her question to me following that was, well why? I said, well, I mean, I feel like that's the, where I have to get to and where to have an effect on people's lives. And she said, well, what are you willing to do for that? You know, I'm like, well, figured out I have to speak and do things. She's like, Chris, let me give you some advice here. So like, I've worked with some of the biggest info network, like the info marketers that are out there, right? People that have sold tens of millions of dollars in their approach programs. If not hundreds of millions, just like I'll tell you, once you hit over 5 million a year, your life will drastically change.She's like, especially if you go with the speaking route, if you go the speaking route, your life is going to be completely different because you're going to be out there speaking all the time, but you won't have a life. So she's like is, you know, are you just doing this for impact? Are you doing this because you want comfort? Because if you want comfort, I know a lot of people that have very scaled down businesses making 300,000 a year, they have more of a life and even more money in some cases. And then people making, you know, three, 10, 20 million a year, she goes to the, I got to hire huge teams. They got massive systems and everything else. And when she said that to me, I said, Oh, that's interesting. I never considered what the lifestyle aspect would be. I always thought about, well, yeah, there's impact.And yeah, the income will be cool, but look at the impact I'm making the world. But based on that model, especially a speaking event model, that would be tough. And so, you know, in that moment, I started to challenge that belief. I thought, well, do I want to keep working my tail off? Or do I want to have a life? Especially a life of my family. You know, the kind of life that really people dream of. You'll probably you dream of as well. So that came to fruition for me, like, especially about five years ago when I went through a divorce and I redid my whole business model, I got rid of the event model. You know, I stopped doing so many events of my own live events. I stopped trying to go and speak all over the country. Now I'm very, very selective with who I speak to.And if at all possible, I'm here. Right here. Right now. Doing what I'm doing. And I said, Hey, I only want to be doing the things that I feel are that light me up the most. And working with the people that led me up the most, the people that actually are fun to work with, not just taking on anybody, because they want to be a client taking on the cut of people that want to work with. And guys that's when my life completely changed, when that focus went away from just revenue generation and instead to profit and lifestyle, everything became different. And then of course, when I focused away from not just trying to create, you know, again, trying to generate revenue in my business, right. Just trying to always kill what I eat. So to speak. Instead of started saying, Hey, well, how could I take some of this money and get to make more money for me?How can I get my money to make babies? Right? I got to make a little money babies running around, you know, I'm already good with the real life babies. I've got six, my own kids. Now how to get money babies working. Right? And so that's when I started looking at like, you know, of course, going back to passive investments, I had to break fear barriers from being burned the last recession and getting back into that again and doing those sort of things and then create residual income streams. Also through my business in different ways where I said, Holy cow! I could stop the active part of my business. Right? Cause if you've heard my previous podcast, I have two active streams of income. One is I do consulting, where I help people create this anti-financial plan, right? Where I'm not a financial advisor or the sorts. I'm telling you by mutual funds.I'm, someone's more guiding you to say, Hey, how do we do things outside of the market? Right? So I had that winning income stream and then the others I'm doing like those infinite banking, life insurance policies, or we get the supercharged tax free savings account and get it to work, to create money twice with your investment money. So those are the two things I've been doing actively, but I'm still doing that just part time. But all the rest, all those other activities or the things are creating passive or residual income for me. And I'm here to tell you that has drastically changed everything in my life. When I stopped being focused on how to just generate revenue in my business, just to keep making more money and went to how do I create a life? That's when everything shifted for me. That's when I started realized, Hey, all these people, I see making millions of dollars on the outside.It looks awesome! But in truth what's her life look like? And not everybody is like that. Like, there's plenty of people with people I've even had on the show that do have a lifestyle. That's awesome! But I've seen many, many cases where some of those people are literally a slave to their work. They want to keep making millions of dollars, but they have to keep hustling. They got to keep creating and keep going. And they feel like there's never an end to it. They feel like they can never stop. There. Therein is where they do not have freedom for you to have real freedom. True freedom. It's about saying, how could I stop doing the act of work that I'm doing and let the passive things work for me, right? That's the key. Now again, you can do that in two different ways. You can create residual streams of income as they call it, or passive streams of income, you know, outside of the active streams of income, right?Residual is the ones you can create. If you're a business owner, you create residual streams through your business. Can you create online products or things that are more, you know, it could be digital, you know, digital type products that you don't have to babysit, right? It's like you don't have to be actively involved. You know, some people, especially now are starting to create a lot of group coaching type programs, right? They're creating some of those things to allow them to have leveraged. It's still an active stream, but there's a lot of residual passive type stuff that comes with it. Especially if they record it and allow it to be on like a database or something that they can access and leverage and use later, you might even record all that stuff prerecorded and say, here, you've got your lessons. Here's 40 lessons. I hope it's not that much.Right. That would be a pain in the butt unless they're like tiny bite sized stuff, you know, but you know, maybe they've got little lessons there. You know, those are things you can leverage. I love the fact that people are no longer wanting my physical CDs. And now they're going on my website on MoneyRipples.com and ordering, you know, and saying, Hey, here's the CD set I want. Like, well, Hey, do you want the digital set? And they say, yes. I say, great. That's one less trip to the post office. Right. You know, that's awesome. So, I mean, those are the kinds of things that are awesome about nowadays. There's things you can create on a residual basis. Know like I've talked about before, like that wealth sharing. I mentioned on a previous podcast, right. Just recently where it's like, Hey, can you create affiliate joint ventures and things of that nature?You know, books, I mean, books could be a source. I never tell people to try to make money off the books, but they can open doors that can be amazing for you. You know? So there's a lot of things you can do there. There's advertising sponsorship, depending on what your business is. There's a lot of different routes you can take, you know, are there businesses, you can kind of join teams with? Where you can help, you know, maybe you've got an office space. Can you use that Leverage office space? Find those assets you can leverage to utilize, to create money with it. You know, we got a show coming out here pretty soon talking about how you can have cell towers. You can lease cell towers to the telecommunications companies and make money off of that, depending on your situation or the kind of, you know, maybe land that you own or property that you own, you can do that kind of thing.So there's all kinds of options that are there. From that standpoint, I call those residual streams. Cause those are more business related. Passive income streams are the things where I say, let's turn your net worth into cash flow, right? How do we take the money you have like maybe the money is sitting in the stock market. Maybe it's money sitting just the same as accounts. I got so many of you coming to me saying, Chris I've already pulled me out of the market. I'm scared even put it back in, even though the market's recovered a little bit, regardless, how do we get this money working for me? Well, cool. What can we do with this? You know, like I just talked to a guy the other day, he said, you know, he had a property that had 200,000 of equity, but he's only making about 150 bucks a month.I said, buddy, that's, that can not happen. And he's like, well, do you think I should do a cash out refinance and get more to cash out. I said, if you do that now you're being the whole thousand months and trying to make money back to break even, I said, you'd be better off selling your property. Taking that equity put into other properties that are actually turned like good turnkey properties, pay a good return. You know, maybe you can make at least a 10 or 12% return. So you made 12% of that money, you know, 200,000 of equity. Now you take that and put into down payments on properties, leverage with mortgages and things like that. Now your cash and cash returns is somewhere between 1600 and 2000 a month. That's much better than 150, I guess, about that leverage. And that's what creates more freedom, right?You know, managing your own expenses, you know, make sure you're wise steward of the money you have. You have coming in and going out to is very important, but to be able to take that money and then turn it into something, working to start paying you each every month without you having to pay, you know, put a whole lot of work into it. Now, granted like someone says buying a property, well, that's not fully passive. I still have to go through the mortgage process and buying process. Yep. That's your, your dues. But the returns on that, I mean, not to mention, less risk is amazing. Like amazing considered compared to, you know, doing like a syndication, you know, or where you're putting money into a fund where you do nothing, like we've mentioned HP on the show, right. You know, you can put money into a fund like that.You do nothing. It's awesome. You know, but at the same, you also have less control. So there's a little bit more risk, but there's less work. So there's that give and take. Alright. Either way. The key point I want you to get from this, is this, is not to focus your life around just creating money, just creating income that you have to work so hard for. And that's okay. That can be your engine to speed up the process to create passive income. But don't make that a longterm thing where you keep it. Especially if you're a business owner, you keep reinvesting in your business and then realize you're just reinvesting and trapping yourself in a job more and more and more a high paying job. But you're stuck. You've got to get that money also in places that allows you to have multiple streams of income that are passive, that are residual, that are coming in after you've put in some upfront work or a little bit of effort, then it pays you on a regular consistent basis.And especially if it's in things that aren't speculative, don't go for these things are paying you 10% a month. A month. I said, not a year, 10% a month. Those things are too good to be true in almost every case. There are some, some exceptions, but those exceptions are so rare that most of you probably wouldn't see those unless you have become more of a master investor yourself. And you're doing things with notes and things like that on your own. But even then that requires a lot of energy and work. That's going to become active income for you, right? So I get that and that's fine, but go for the passive route. That is where I believe true wealth is, is when now you have a life that's rich. A life that allows you the freedom to do what you want with those that you love, right.To be with those you love, especially when they still love you. And to be able to live that life of purpose and meaning, and to be able to give back in greater ways and make this world a better place, creating your own ripple effect. That is the kind of wealth I signed up for. And I hope you do too. Again, if you've got questions, you can always shoot me an email. Like I said, at the beginning of the show, but guys, I want you to have that life of freedom and it requires a mindset shift to go away from just trying to create active wealth and go into passive wealth. Guys. I hope we make it a wonderful and prosperous week and I'll see you later.

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Actually love the lives to it is also a Black Cat Fuck Corona T Shirt coronavirus survivor and his neighbors are struggling to deal with both issues at the same time I got was taken extra money out there pockets and is going to the grocery store deadline of the water roster but you add on the pandemic not a water live in their team grab the started in 2014 when as a cost cutting measure official switch the city’s water source from a cure on to the Flint River but the water was improperly treated allowing and other chemicals from the pipes to leach into the water supply the city switched back to its original water source in 2015 the line news was on the ground in Flint from my side of the crisis we heard first hand from parents about how they believed the tainted water affected their children my son gave up trying to get his bones hurt to give him there’s nothing to do for to take away although tens of thousands of plaintiffs ever pointedly saturating the payout as part of the settlement much of the money is expected to go toward the children. I came up with a book about what happenedand why this all has gone downand I’m just make it up on this I’m just assuming I’m going to stop the result was the only because it makes sense in my mind is going to take such a letter I think that there like I think they’re getting that B of a fixed budget right are fixed pay scale light like D D get like making a number of hundred thousand dollarsand up so that goes to themand no matter how many episodes that’s what they get what they have made one of the big shows of all time it is the goose is line goaland asked if they want to do another season they could do another season my thought process is they want out of his current contract they want game of thrones over so they can make the next project for HBOand then go rose remember that billion dollars we made you on selling DVDsand sinand getting new subscriptions do you want the next goose is next time is half 1 million for each of us for each episode it’s a really bad negotiation technique to write the show major name in a way that all of your fans are the vast majority are upset with you by the end of the seriesand the way that now ruin the relationship into more business Star Wars next fight but quickly that’s of course bold fromand I wish I had when I was hungry till I saw them to say that it is very delicious I showed it to me the worst part of that whole episode are so much dumb shit no much dumb shit that happened that just didn’t make sense it was just the worst part was the destruction of Jamie’s entire storyline is entire up down up down very Unitedand ascendant like his whole thing at the end saying likewise going back like oh I don’t give a fuck about the people for the innocenceand it’s like you it’s been established five times with different quotes over the over the years your initial good guy turn that you do care that was your rationale for killing the mad King that was the reason that you are trying to talk sense to so many you know bad or bad faith you characters from the series you are in your good thingsand then he just I guess the only reason to go North Virginia was the fuck Breanneand then he goes backand dies with Circe there doesn’t make his so what was the fucking point of his entire story arc shit they all though just a little while he did have moments with here’s a sideways life point of wars complicated rights of the North men come in the battle for I don’t know 812 minutesand then start raping chicksand a course John Snow takes the girl or whatever their eight minutes in. They Know You Are to Buy Our This Art Studio Where Creative Guy with a Great Idea and a Ton of Possible

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There was no need to keep him locked down as long as he did and even the public health official even amid a Black Cat Fuck Corona T Shirt these in emails just for us right or not open for the public as if this gets out will know that we been lying to and they were talking about this in email so now Nashville donor John Rich is because using the also the nightclub in Nashville came out on on the news today is the day’s like Mlle. To be a black empowerment in this country stop making excuses evil place on earth my wife both estoppel is an Omega so we had a good quality black candidate for 2024 in Wyatt is going to be wild is glory while between importance to us by support people to support both do is wait becoming so big barbecue and apologized and was supposed to be fine with we are having more morbidity for our sales and dignity for focus on the last word both you know my rights back is not the so stand tall on your ancestors your children and the life and alignment in the things that will be there and have some. For two all for you guys who with your brother I did yes he is my twin brother identical when we were identical we were born identity I don’t know 18 we started to divert a little bit that’s it a young box I think of when you need to maybe go there now is a really do not look identical but yes you okay saying I yeah if had a people you know they don’t like it that’s that youand your brother with Sammy Sammy yeah that your brother took full advantage of having yes I did what we were bad bad bad boy mom in the audio for you are out in certain situations I keep going okay I went by he was having trouble at school is about to UCLA yesterday I went to UCLAand he was the Greek studies is one of his degreesand is having trouble passing was actually not going to graduate I was coming back from actingand he said listen my teachers offered me the points that I will need to graduate I just have to deliver a Greek monologue from the Greek found what are the chances that you know a Greek tragedy is actually this could cause the give me a shot you get tomorrow come at 12 noon black shirtand jeans black shoesand that you wrote to me of the crude map of where to go to the past by financial aid you can meet Eduardo wattage kids are Luisand Melinda had can enter the room is 401 go sit in the tiny room just to find a place to sit so get this together I follow the crude map say hi to Eduardo hello to the kids will want to open the door expecting a small classroom auditorium of this size I find a place to sitand that way way the professor calls on me she says Sammy Maui click I usually look to the leftand I came downand poisoned in a deliver the monologue started out slow my heart was pounding I think okay you actually have an audience right moment EMR video slowly in a really start to appreciate having the audienceand its it’s working the end of it I get a ton of applause from everybody rightand I thought we did I overshoot this certainly I did because the professor looks at me to hearand see the skeptical look on her faceand yet opens the doorand takes me outside his did you learn how to do all of that all the is just a hobby to this bookand you stayand do this for my next class I said to get the points today at times I very well have on my cars in the red zone I gotta go graduated we waited in now the head you did it it was Oedipus Rex the correlation you that you don’t circles in the ad to be doneand we North deadman Apple crisp finds myself because I slice of Scottish history playing robberies booking to begin streaming on fixed the ninth on November the why of the is what he remembered why is this well he was the first person the first king of a unified Scotland in the kind of enter national politics of the time there were many many clans many many people hate one another within the country to have one person unite all of the disparate Scottish clans against the crown of Englandand with 500 men he defeated 5000 he defeated it was like you know I don’t know 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[escapefromarchoncastle]

Chapter Eight - Transmuting Metals

Terry bolted upright and stared around, disoriented, as Martin the Magnificent’s voice echoed in his ears. They’d stopped in a pioneer-style village, the kind he’d visited on school trips where everyone dressed like it was the early eighteen-hundreds. In a tone that reminded Terry of one of those boring documentaries his parents would watch on remote tribes who wore more beads than clothes, Martin the Magnificent explained that several towns in this land were very old and kept their traditional ways. And no, Pudding Bowl, they were not Amish or Mennonites.

“I’ve heard of this place.” The boy beside him nudged Terry’s side with his elbow. “Tourists pay through the nose to 'experience' how people lived hundreds of years in the past. The inn down the road is almost three grand a night! And that’s during the week—Saturdays is twice as much!”

“That’s insane,” Terry said. He’d had beyond his fill of rustic by now, but this was exactly the sort of thing his parents and their friends would go for in their scramble to impress each other on Instagram.

“They even mint their own currency,” the other boy added.

Dust billowed in their wake as they went along a dirt road past an assembly of brick two-story buildings with white columns flanking the entrances. They rounded the corner and came into a large square. Each side was jammed with rickety market stalls, the oilcloth canopies flapping gently in the breeze. Clucking chickens hopped past. Somewhere on the far side, Terry could hear goats or sheep.

They stopped on a side street near the center of the square. All the neophytes began loading the baskets onto flimsy wooden tables under the direction of the Adepts, who were dressed in friar’s robes including a rope belted around the waist. He joined Katya and Pudding Bowl at the far end of a row of tables shaded by thick, grease-stained fabric. Countless smells invaded his nostrils—wood smoke, flowers, animal poo, meat, frying eggs, syrup, bacon and rotting fruit.

According to a clock tower at one edge of the square, it was ten in the morning. Terry revelled in the festive atmosphere, almost forgetting all his accumulated aches and pains. The market quickly grew busy, imbued with a Disneylike quaintness. All the patrons wore costumes suited to the era, no doubt provided as part of their three-thousand-a-night stay at one of the inns.

Ms. Huston set a cash box on the table for them and Terry sifted through the various coins. They bore rough images of old fictitious kings along with the heads of various animals, laurel wreaths, dragons and other assorted symbols. He was even given a small allowance. On his first break he purchased a pair of thin-soled leather sandals that would be perfect for sneaking around Archon Castle grounds late at night.

They spent the morning selling vegetables, trading in bronze pennies, iron ingots and even the odd silver coin. It was only when Terry went to make change for a clipped gold coin at a booth near one of the inns that he learned what the currency actually amounted to. In his somewhat flawed math, he calculated that a straw basket containing four potatoes cost nearly twenty dollars. Archon Castle must make a killing from the sales of vegetables alone! And here Terry and other others were paying to work there! He’d had just enough time to scoop all the tiny coins into a fabric drawstring bag when the shutter in front of him slammed down. The faded red paint on it read, “Closed for Lunch”.

Terry backed away and gawked around, his heart racing. He had a purse full of coins, and was just one boy of dozens wearing these stupid scratchy breeches. Eyeing a family of tourists, he realized there wasn’t any way of telling who was a neophyte and who was a tourist. Now he was glad he’d kept to himself, especially around his superiors at Archon Castle; he was invisible to them. This could be his one chance to take off.

Not for a second did he consider whether this was a good idea or not. He slipped around a sandstone building that looked like an old courthouse, and looked up and down the wide dirt road in each direction. He was smack in the middle of town. Beyond blocks of storefronts in each direction were empty fields and then woods. Finding his way back to the main road shouldn’t be too hard. Keeping in the shade, he peeked once more in the direction of the market stalls. Nobody was looking his way—not the Adepts, not the boys he’d ridden in with, not even Katya. Katya was glued to Stevenus’s side, laughing about something, her beautiful face lit up like a ….

No! He forced himself to turn around. This was it—he was going to make a run for it. No more shovelling coal or manure, no more sleeping on prickly straw and eating leftover gruel. Hello backyard pool with a brand new diving board, a basement with Netflix and endless video games, his friends—how he missed them!—and dad’s barbecued chicken legs which were the best on the planet bar none. A giddy fear flooded into him similar to being belted into one of those crazy amusement park rides you can see from miles away on the Interstate.

[edenian-princess]

Grocery Shopping (Finale)

Second and final part!

Inspiration from @its-fabs and their post here!

Part One

Jumin x MC

Category x

Word Count: 1736

Yah, a bit wordy, true shout outs to people who read the whole thing XD

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have executive papers to sign or something?” Zen folded his arms across his chest and raised a brow.

“I’m running errands for MC. Just help me.”

“Oh, I’ll help you. But first…” Zen pulled his phone out and took a picture of Jumin by his cart. “…there we go. Okay, let’s hurry up. I don’t want to spend more time with you than I have to.”

Jumin sighed softly and pulled the list back out. “Okay, I need flour.”

“Let’s go.” Zen sped through the store, somehow managing to evade customers. Jumin’s eyes widened as he watched him go, and soon enough, he trailed closely behind him. Zen turned into aisle ten, and stood in front of the shelves of flour. “Okay, what kind does MC need.”

Jumin paused. “The worker sent me to the wrong aisle before.” He slowly pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Dude, are you serious? You don’t even know the kind of flour you need? You’re seriously the worst—”

“Shh.” Jumin turned away from Zen and pushed his phone to his ear.

 Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Hello?”

“Hello, my darling. I’m sorry to call you again, but what type of flour do you need?”

“Oh, don’t be sorry Ju…ah, hold on…yes! I’ll be there in a minute! Sorry, Jumin, I just need cake flour!”

“Thank you, MC. I don’t want to keep you longer than I have to.”

“You really aren’t…you have no idea how relieved I am to hear your voice right now.”

“Now you know how I feel every time you call me, my love.”

“Oh, Jumin…how are you, is the shopping going well? Are you almost done?”

“I’m making my way through the list.”

“…Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces past and I’m homebound…”

“Ha…how cute. Unbelievably cute.”

“Shoot…Jumin, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Will do. I love—”

Beep! Beep! Beep!

 Jumin pouted, again, and put his phone in his back pocket.

“So, which kind does she need?” Zen flashed Jumin an annoyed look.

“Cake flour.” Jumin’s eyes scanned the shelves.

“You take forever.” Zen placed a packet of cake flour into the cart. “Next item, what is it.”

Jumin slowly straightened himself and pulled the list out again.

“Why are you moving so slow?”

“Because I know it bothers you.”

“You…! I could just leave you here right now!”

“Okay. Bye.”

Zen let out a frustrated grunt and pushed the cart a little further down the lane. “Chocolate chips are in this lane. But there are a variety, so which kind does she need.”

Jumin moved to dig his phone out, and Zen groaned in exasperation. “Dude, you’re seriously hopeless. Just get her milk chocolate chips.”

“But as you said, there are a variety. What if she needs dark chocolate chips?”

“Why didn’t you just ask her this stuff before you left?!”

“The past cannot be changed.”

“…You’re such an ass.”

Jumin ignored Zen and moved to tap MC’s number again, but Zen quickly gathered packets of chocolate chips, one of each kind that was available.

“MC doesn’t need that many, she only asked for one pack.”

“Well, she’ll have what she needs, and she can do whatever she wants to do with the extras.” Zen stood behind the cart. “What next.”

“Hm…we could order a fondue fountain and melt the other chocolates…and—”

“Yo.” Zen snapped his fingers. “Focus. What’s next.”

“Milk.”

“Okay, then what.”

“Eggs.”

“Okay, then what.”

Jumin flipped the list back. “Hm. It looks like that’s it.”

Zen sped through the store, miraculously avoiding customers, while Jumin strolled by without a care in the world.

“Hurry up, stupid trust fund kid!”

“I have no reason to hurry.”

“Don’t you want to get home to MC?!”

“She won’t be home for another three hours.”

“…I am not spending three hours with you here.” Zen parked the cart and moved to grab a gallon of milk. “Is this fine?”

“…It’s whole milk.”

“So?!”

“…I wonder where the dairy farmer is.”

“THERE IS NO DAIRY FARMER HERE, THIS IS RETAIL. YOU GET WHAT YOU GET.”

Jumin paused. “Well, that’s very unreliable. How do I know how recent the dairy products are? What if they are spoiled?”

“Then it sucks to be you.” Zen placed the gallon of milk into the cart and moved to grab the eggs. Once he was done placing the dozen eggs into the cart, he turned around, but Jumin was nowhere in sight.

“I swear to…hey!! Trust fund kid, where did you go?!”

“Sir…there is nothing wrong with these e-eggs! All of them are in g-good condition, a-and—”

“Only good condition? Why aren’t they in impeccable condition? Who is your poultry farmer?”

“Sir, we…uh…these eggs are just shipped over to us.” The manager speaking with Jumin looked up at him, his presence almost threatening.

“So, these eggs aren’t good at all. That’s what you’re telling me.” Jumin scowled and folded his arms over his chest.

“Excuse him!” Zen slammed the cart into Jumin. “He’s new here, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

Jumin winced and pushed the cart away. “I’m not done talking to—”

Zen gritted his teeth. “Yes. You are done talking to him. Now, let’s go to the checkout line, pay for this stuff, and leave.”

Jumin blinked. “It’s not good to grit your teeth like that, Zen.”

The lines at checkout were longer than expected. Zen sighed and pulled out his phone while Jumin looked around, his eyes fleeting from a small jewelry store to the stacks of candy available by the registers. He turned and started to move towards the jewelry counter, but Zen quickly stopped him.

“Don’t go anywhere. You move, you lose your place in line.”

“I just want to look at something.” Jumin made his way towards the jewelry store, while Zen fumed in the checkout line.

Jumin almost reveled in the drastic difference in atmosphere the second he stepped foot in the store. He gazed at the assortment of diamonds and sapphires, necklaces, rings, and earrings, and eventually, his eyes landed on a pendant; a huge diamond, with small to medium sized tanzanite gems circled around it.

“Sir, may I help you?” A sales associate placed their hand over the pendant case and beamed up at him.

“Yes, I’d like to look at that there.” Jumin pointed down at the associate’s hand, and they quickly retrieved the pendant for him. It looked even better as he held it in his hand, and without any hesitation, he said, “I would like to buy this.”

“Yes sir! That will be eight thousand, nine hundred dollars!”

Jumin handed his credit card over, paid for the necklace, and moved back to the checkout line.

“Jeez, took you long enough.” Zen huffed. “What did you get, anyways?”

“I hardly think that’s any of your business.” Jumin tucked the pendant case into his suit jacket, and his eyes started to roam again.

“Don’t leave the line again, we’re almost at the cashier.”

“Mm.” Jumin’s eyes fell towards Twix candy bars and he reached out to grab one. “Hm…MC likes these.”

“Oh? Then get her one.”

Jumin reached out and grabbed the entire box, as well as the box hidden in the back. Zen’s jaw dropped. “Idiot, I said one!”

“She deserves more than just one mere packet. How uncharitable of you, to only want to give her one.”

“Shut the hell up, you stupid—”

“Next in line, please!” the cashier called.

“…Whatever. Get her all the Twix she wants, she does deserve them all, unlike you.” Zen started putting items up onto the conveyor belt.

“Ah, she also likes these candies as well. I must get them for her.” Jumin placed two boxes of Kit-Kat bars onto the conveyor belt.

“Dude, are you serious?! What about the other customers?!”

“They can go to the other checkout lanes. These are for MC.”

“You—!”

“That’ll be fifty-six dollars even.” The cashier looked at Jumin, then Zen.

“Thank you.” Jumin swiped his credit card, and as soon as the receipt was printed, Zen grabbed the bags and pushed them onto Jumin.

“There. I did my good deed for you for the century. Tell MC I said hi.”

“Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. Jumin shrugged, and made his way to the store’s exit.

“Jumin! I’m home!”

Jumin shot from his desk and ran towards me, pulling me into a tight embrace. “Welcome home, my darling. I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too, Jumin!” I reached up, caressed his cheek, and put my purse on the coffee table. “How was the trip to the grocery store?”

“…Productive.”

“…What’s with the hesitation?”

“I had to call Assistant Kang and ask her for help.”

“Oh, Jumin…” I grabbed his hands and squeezed them. “…did she help you?”

“Yes and no. She sent Zen to help me.”

I bit my lower lip to keep from laughing. “She did, did she? Did you two tear up the store?”

“We didn’t.” Jumin chuckled. “But, we did get your items for you.”

“Thank you very, very much.” I pecked his lips and moved towards the kitchen, his hands gliding off my waist as I made my way there. But, before I reached the kitchen, I stopped dead in my tracks; I couldn’t help but notice boxes of candy and several bags of chocolate chips, each a different kind of chocolate.

“Jumin, I think you strayed from the list.” I giggled and turned towards him. His hands were behind his back, and he shrugged softly, a sly grin plastered on his face.

“…What else did you buy?”

“…Something.”

I charged towards him and reached behind his back my fingers dancing over a smooth velvet box.

“Jumin…?”

“You know…” he pulled a necklace out of the box and cradled it in his hands. “…you kept hanging up on me before I could say ‘I love you’ back.”

“I…I did? I’m so sorry, Jumin…”

He turned me around and gently placed the necklace around my neck. “You have to make up for that now.”

I turned to face him and pouted playfully. “Don’t leave me too sore, Jumin. I need to go to work early tomorrow.”

He picked me up and secured his hands under my bottom. The sly grin on his face grew and goosebumps rode up my arms as he whispered, “I’ll consider it.”

[cryptocoinguides]

Ethereum To $10,000?

Hello and welcome back to Crypto Lion. Today, we’ll be looking at some big news about a Ethereum and its possible that ten thousand dollars a Ethereum are a cryptocurrency protocol that is vastly different from Bitcoin, Litecoin, or other payment technologies, giving it additional value and potential. This video will help you understand that potential value through price predictions from experts and analysts alike.

It’s vastly different from other cryptocurrencies, such as Bitcoin Litecoin or even XRP Ethereum as a blockchain protocol for smart contracts and ether, also called H is the native cryptocurrency that powers the theory and blockchain Ethereum or on smart contracts on what it calls the ethereal virtual machine, which is essentially a supercomputer built on the blockchain because of its unique structure and is the first of its kind. Ethereum price predictions can be extremely high, with so many investors and industry experts believing in a theory and growth in the long term, it’s projected.

Growth as a network is also high as the blockchain is not only used for smart contracts and transactions but actual crypto assets are often built on a theme’s blockchain, giving it added value. As speculation around the future of the crypto market is positive because there’s so much positivity surrounding cryptocurrency is and a theory potential is so high, many are left wondering will Ethereum rise like Bitcoin and how high can the price of Ethereum go? Well, this video will help paint a clearer picture of estimated growth and the projected value of Ethereum over the years. Following the success of Bitcoin, a young programmer named Vitaly Libertarian became interested in the new financial technology and decided that the idea and concept could be improved upon and serve additional purposes beyond just a payments technology. Theorems blockchain can run smart contracts or computer code designed to run a certain way autonomously thus far.

Smart contracts have been primarily used to run DPS, also called decentralized applications such as crypto kiddies and others.

The smart contracts have been programmed to act as a sort of trophy proving ownership. This is unique in the world of digital technologies as it allows the owner of the trophy to transfer ownership using the smart contract via the theory and blockchain. The development was entirely funded by a crude sale that resulted in seventy-two million pre-mined coins reaching the hands of long-term holders in twenty sixteen and exploited in the Dow project, a decentralized autonomous organization that resulted in over fifty million dollars worth of the Ethereum supply being stolen. Ethereum was later split into two separate blockchains, resulting in the new version becoming the true Ethereum with the coin ticker.

While the original blockchain continued on as a theory and classic with the coin ticker. Later, the Enterprise Ethereum Alliance was founded to help develop standards for use across the Ethereum blockchain, such as the RC 20 standard that is used to develop new tokens operating on the theory and protocol. It was actually a theorem ability to help launch a new crypto project as early twenty tokens what was called the initial coin, offering an early way for projects to raise capital via crowdfunding, where the investors received a portion of the coins for their initial investment. Much of the new tokens created could only be invested in through an exchange of Ethereum, which caused the assets price to skyrocket at the height of the crypto bubble by retail investors seeking to strike it rich by finding the next Bitcoin at its earliest investment stages.

However, the crypto hype bubble popped, and many of the projects built on a theory and failed due to no fault of a theory.

However, the negative sentiment surrounding other altcoins and these new isco born crypto tokens come to theorems price to fall as well. Ethereum started its life much under one dollar and was only spare change for during the crowd sale. In just a year’s time, it reached a high price of one thousand four hundred forty-eight dollars, driven largely due to the boom, and was extremely profitable for early investors after regulators began to crack down on ICOS, calling them unregistered securities sales, Ethereum was used less and less for this purpose. However, this was due to the echo boom ending and not due to a theory of long-term price potential or projected growth. Aside from ICOS keeping the price going down, Noon’s has been otherwise extremely positive, and speculation suggests that a theorems future is incredibly bright and will perform successfully as an investment asset and has a solid long-term value projection.

However, by far the biggest potential for a Ethereum is the massive growth of decentralized finance, also called defy. This has dramatically increased the demand for a theory. In recent months and has helped the old coins set a new all-time high and above one thousand four hundred and seventy-eight dollars. A Ethereum is among the most interesting pieces of technology ever to exist and has garnered the support and interest from some of the best and brightest entrepreneurs of the tech and finance industries.

Here’s just a sample of some of the industry experts who believe that a Ethereum price will go up.

Simon DenTek, the co-founder of Blackfire and managing partner at Moonrocks Capital, sees a bright, long-term future for a theory and estimates the asset could someday be worth as much as nine thousand dollars per token. He also sees Bitcoin at one hundred and fifty thousand and Hlinka two hundred dollars per token. At the same time, Ethereum reaches such prices. James D’Addario, the managing partner at Blacktown Capital, also sees a theory at nine thousand dollars per token but doesn’t make that call outright. Instead, the investor says Etherial will reach a one trillion dollar market cap due to the surge into centralized finance.

It just so happens that based on math and the theory of supply, this sums up to nine thousand dollars per coin matching Derek’s prediction. But what is the past? The theory and predictions got it right, although making accurate predictions is difficult. Many have actually done it and had their forecasts come true. Many of these predictions have been smashed by these unstoppable crypto assets, which suggests that despite lofty future predictions, they are very well possible.

Andrew Keyes, the director of communications at Consensus and cofounding member of Consensus Enterprise, while in an interview with Coin Desk, predicted that a Ethereum would reach a price of one dollar and 15 cents by the 29th of February twenty sixteen two weeks into 2016. The prediction came true and it started off a parabolic rally that took the asset over one thousand four hundred dollars.

Mike Novogratz, Galaxy Digital founder, and hedge fund manager. A billionaire Bitcoin bull had called for a Ethereum to rise by twenty-five percent in late November, despite the asset rocketing to a then-high of four hundred and twenty-five dollars. Not only was he right in saying it would happen before New Year’s Eve in twenty seventeen, but it also risen over 50 percent instead into the first couple of weeks of the New Year.

Ethereum kept going, reaching an all-time high of one thousand four hundred dollars and rising over 200 percent from Novogratz’s prediction. Unlike Bitcoin or Litecoin Ethereum supplies and hard. An additional Etherial can be created either as a market price currently of roughly one thousand three hundred and twenty-five dollars, down from the new all-time high set in twenty twenty-one.

Ethereum has only been in the market for a few years and lacks much price history, which is part of the reason that it was able to retrace to the current lows popular support has never built during its parabolic rise in twenty seventeen. But as a theory and forecast improve again and as its price increases, it will build support and the only questions remaining will be will it reach ten thousand dollars?

And will Ethereum rise like bitcoin? Long-term price prediction suggests that not only can an Ethereum reach ten thousand dollars, but it will also reach prices well above that in the future after breaking above its previous all-time high. Here are some technical analyses and price predictions. While anyone can see that Ethereum as an investment holds much promise and will surely reward investors with all the support and potential has, it’s not always clear exactly what prices that A may reach and when.

Technical analysis from the industry’s best analysts has been gathered to help understand if some of the price predictions from experts match with the charts are saying, Ethereum has already claimed a new all-time high in twenty twenty-one and the sky is now the limit, it seems there’s still a risk of a double top pattern if a severe correction happens at current levels, but a breakout hires do any day.

Most analysts are expecting a theory and price to double now that a new record is set. However, the height of the previous base structure is targeting a one thousand three hundred percent rise from the point of breakout. That would take a theory I’m surprised too as high as twenty-five thousand dollars per coin for twenty twenty-two to twenty twenty-three.

Ethereum is following alongside an early Bitcoin fractal showing similar investor behavior and price patterns. Bitcoin triple bottomed while Ethereum has formed a double bottom, a similar trajectory as bitcoins would take the price per Ethereum to as high as seventy thousand dollars per coin at the peak of the next bull market for price predictions for twenty, twenty-four, and twenty twenty-five and beyond.

Continuing to follow along with Bitcoin’s trajectory isn’t all positive for Ethereum continuing the roadmap. The fractal presents would take Ethereum to another bear market come twenty twenty-four and begin to break out, starting in twenty twenty-five into a new bull market. Once again, this chart shows that Ethereum has reached an important zone as it may have a breakout and might reach the targets of two thousand or two thousand four hundred. If the channel breaks, it might have to retest after reaching two thousand.

Then after the completion of the retest, it might reach two thousand four hundred.

With the highest price rising and falling to such highs and lows. Ethereum is an especially great asset for traders who can take advantage of these price swings with a long or short position. There’s no denying that Ethereum is a very special technology that could completely change the world as more and more is built on top of the smart, contract-focused protocol.

Due to this, experts and analysts are both expecting a theory and projected growth to reach extreme highs. It’s currently trading at about one thousand three hundred twenty-five dollars, down slightly from its new peak set in twenty twenty-one.

But with Ethereum showing so much promise, having the support from the entire crypto development industry, and being lauded by industry experts and technical analysts alike, it’s easy to understand why Ethereum can be a great investment given the expectations and predictions of not only its price but its potential as a technology. We hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, please don’t forget to give it a thumbs up and hit that subscribe button as well. Would you like to know more about a theory? Let us know in the comments below while you here.

Read More: Litecoin LTC Price Prediction 2021

via Ethereum To $10,000?

[riyasen2019writer-blog]

Another A Fairy Tale Love Story - Mighty Ru-Rin And Also The Enchantress

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Hello family member. Let me introduce myself. I'm Laveta and i totally love this full name. Drawing is something I won't give down. My wife and I have a home South Dakota. Production and planning is how he makes money.

[efosa123]

Video Traffic Genie Pro- Software, Traffic, Video hey there Paul Venables here and I'm extremely excited that you've taken the time to watch this video in this video we're gonna talk about one of the easiest strategies that we've discovered that will allow you to legally hijack other people's video traffic and generate affiliate commissions in 24 hours or less and we're gonna show you how we've been able to automate this entire traffic hijacking strategy with our powerful cross-platform software this incredible strategy combined with our software allows you to get highly targeted buyer traffic to your offers like this where you can see this one video has gotten ninety four thousand one hundred sixty one targeted visitors or this where you can see that this video has gotten sixty five thousand two hundred and seventy nine targeted visitors or this one that's gotten twenty one thousand five hundred and two targeted visitors and this one that's gotten five thousand seven hundred and 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traffic that you can steal all you have to do is input your target keyword and VT video that let's jump into a quick demo video hello it's Paul Venables here and I'm gonna show you a quick look inside of the video traffic Genie 2.0 members area and I'm also going to pull up the software and show you how that works as well so inside the members area you can access the training section which will include video training and a couple manuals as well and the training will include the video traffic Genie method along with the best uses for video traffic Genie some additional tips and suggestions as well as case studies and from inside this members area you'll also be able to access the software you can download that and learn all about how to use the software properly as well and also inside the members area you can access the support FA cues and our support desk as well as our resources and bonuses so I'm going to quickly pull up the software now and show you exactly how you can use this to be able to instantly get traffic from abandoned domains inside of videos so now I've just opened up video traffic Genie 2.0 and I'm going to show you exactly how to use vtg to to find abandoned videos where you can instantly place your link and start hijacking all the traffic now what you're seeing here is our latest video traffic Genie 2.0 software it is an Adobe AIR software which is Mac and PC compatible so you can use it on any computer that you'd like and this is exactly what you'll see when you start up the software we have a settings section a search section a section for backlinks keywords and a support tab as well and I'll quickly demonstrate what you'll be able to do with the video traffic Genie 2.0 search feature here you can enter your keyword it can be a niche related keyword it could be a product name keyword any kind of keyword related to a video that you're interested in getting traffic from so now I'm gonna type in get lean program and it's gonna go out and search get lean program as a keyword because it is a product name keyword for a weight-loss program inside of Clickbank I'm gonna click stop search and we can see all the videos that come up I'm just gonna show you this one right here we can look for the view count the likes dislikes comments favorites as you can see there's a 11,000 views for this video and it was created in 2014 this is the link that's coming up that has been reported as a broken link inside of video traffic Genie 2.0 so we can go in and analyze the video more I'm going to just open it up in YouTube here so now the video has been loaded and I have a two buddy extension just a free extension installed here so we can analyze the video more I wouldn't come down here and click on show search rankings to see that it's ranked inside of YouTube for get lean program the product name keyword looks like it's in the fifth position also has additional product name keyword rankings as well and we can see that the domain is placed right here and we can also check out the channel lytx for additional information about the video channel so I just click on views and we can see the channel gets about a thousand views per month we're gonna hop back to video traffic Genie there's the go to channel button as well so we can click on that and check out the channel but first let's just confirm that we can get the domain so all we have to do is click on the check domain button there's a couple different ways of checking the domain one is to check it inside the software and the best way of doing that is using one on one domain registrar will auto-populate or what I have selected is Namecheap and that's going to open up in the new browser and then also copy this to clipboard so all I have to do is just paste it in from my keyboard or my mouse just paste in that domain there just to confirm that it's available so just click on the search button there and you can see it is available right now so if we wanted to buy this for 13 bucks then we can go in and snag that up and it would have that for an entire year and the get lean program sells for about $150 inside of Clickbank and if you can't make $13 an entire year then you can just let the domain drop otherwise it can be a very good return on your small investment also we can check out how it's ranked in Google real quick just by copying a keyword like get lean program the main product name keyword and seeing how it comes up in Google there's nothing up here but when we scroll down we can see this is the video with the same channel that video traffic Genie pulled up so it's already ranked in the first page near the bottom but already ranked on the first page for get lean program the main product name and if you were to pick this up you could start sending our backlinks to it to try and get it ranked higher from even more targeted traffic but before ordering I like to dig a little bit deeper I like to click on the well finder button which is a feature available for the video traffic Genie gold version and that will show you everything that's associated to this link so most of the time there's additional videos additional video properties even that have this link inside of them the whale finder button will show all of that we can also check out the channel and see what other kinds of videos are inside the channel as you can see here there's a lot of product name keyword videos so wing girl review quit marijuana you plan my baby review badass tattoos also niche related videos activities for toddlers keep your man happy putting into sugar cravings easy songs to play on the piano so there is a lot of videos inside of this channel with product name keywords where even if the product name keywords' some of these are kind of low views but with some additional backlinks like we can do inside of the video traffic Genie 2.0 program then you can push those up a little bit higher and get more targeted traffic to them so we can dig further inside of these videos and see sometimes these videos are also associated to the same domain you can buy and what I mean by that is that sometimes there's other links like in this case is a product name link but look at this one right here we can see that there's one called click here 9.com and that one is inside this clickable annotation so this video was done back in a time when annotations were around and they're still inside here so this one has a clickable annotation if we go back to the get lane program we will see that this video right here has a clickable annotation it's for the exact same link and by analyzing this channel a little more we can see that there are additional videos that have broken links for the video in the description but then there's also the same broken link inside of the actual video that is the same link for all the other videos in the channel and that's this click here nine so we can click on that and then see that it's broken as well and we can see here that the video that video traffic genius found also includes a broken link in the annotations that is available to buy so that is really powerful especially when you combine all that with not only just this get lean program review but also all the other videos inside of the channel like these and all you have to do is register that domain and do some redirects like we teach in the members area and you'll get all of that traffic another feature that is very helpful inside a video traffic Genie 2.0 is our keywords tab where you can type in a keyword and get multiple suggestions of additional keywords that people are actively searching so I'm just gonna type in how to play guitar and click search and as you can see there's now additional keywords that we can search inside video traffic Genie we could also click the copy button to copy it to your clipboard or click on the search it button to begin that search so here I'm just gonna click on search it for how to play guitar for kids and now vtg is going out and it's already found a video and we can analyze this more by clicking open and YouTube go to channel or I also like to do the whale finder where we could find everything available related to this domain and this is one of the features that will be unlocked with the upgraded video traffic Genie gold version and quickly I'm just gonna show you what's inside the channel when I click go to channel now here in this channel you can see that this looks like an authority Channel with lots of videos and we can sort by the most popular to see some of the videos that have high view counts like this one is 50 thousand it's another blink-182 song this is the one that we just pulled up and btg and that has 37,000 views I'm just gonna pull up a couple of these videos to see if we have the same link that is inside a video traffic Genie and as you can see this is the master learning guitar comm link and in this other video we have master learning guitar calm as well and if we were to further analyze this channel we would see that there's the same link placed on all these videos that we have found inside a video traffic Genie if you want to get more information about this specific video we can just click on open and YouTube and by pulling up this video we can see that we have a URL right here at the beginning of the description and it looks like a basic tutorial video teaching somebody how to play this song there's also some tags looks like their ranks for play guitar like blink-182 so if these keywords people are interested in learning how to play guitar and then we're gonna just click on the check domain button it's gonna open up in a new browser because that's the way I have it in the settings section and it'll pop up with the domain copy to the clipboard so then we can just bring it up over here paste it in and click search and we can see that this domain is also available to purchase so by purchasing this domain right now we could start getting targeted traffic immediately all around how to play guitar from all of the videos found in the channel which could be great because then you could immediately start building an email list or promoting a Clickbank product around playing guitar or maybe something that's an econ product or something on Amazon or whatever you want from all of this traffic so as you can imagine when you just keep on typing different keywords and finding results the possibilities are endless and since YouTube is such a popular site and ranked the second biggest site on the web there's always going to be content and there is always going to be abandoned domains that you can find with video traffic Genie 2.0 how amazing was that right getting unlimited free targeted traffic is now as simple as one inputting your target keyword to letting vtg to pull up all the videos you can hijack three register and redirect that traffic anywhere you want for from there you just gotta sit back and watch your Commission's and sales soar and rinse and repeat as many times as you'd like and if that isn't enough for you we're also throwing in some amazing bonuses for you bonus number one is our hot niches PDF if you're having trouble choosing a niche to use the strategy with or you want to add some new niches to your business we've selected 15 of the hottest niches you can target using our software this is easily a $27 value bonus number two is our easy payday training course this is my flagship product that is going to show you how I've been making at least $5,000 in passive income from simple videos since 2012 you can use easy Video payday plus video traffic Genie to do some serious damage over the coming days weeks and months and finally bonus number three is our high paying private affiliate programs training how would you like to know how we're crushing it right now with private affiliate programs why would you compete with all the other affiliates when there's plenty of private programs that you can cash in on with this training you'll be able to profit more by working less and promoting little-known affiliate programs these private programs work especially well with our video traffic Genie 2.0 strategy this is easily a thirty seven dollar value not to mention how much more you'll be making from the private affiliate programs that's over a hundred dollars in value for the bonuses alone but today you can get full access to video traffic Genie 2.0 plus all the bonuses at a huge discount but you have to make sure you act quickly this discount will only be available for the next few days after that the price will be going up significantly this strategy is way too valuable for us to keep it at this price for too long go ahead and access your account by clicking the discount button below and of course this is a 100% risk-free offer for you take video traffic Genie 2.0 for a spin for the next 30 days and if you're not fully satisfied we'll give you a full refund no questions asked you've got nothing to lose in a ton of traffic and sales to gain see you in the members area you