#but ANYONE ELSE?? PHEW! THEY ARE HERE! in my little noggin

[mamorigami]

i log in. i spam daynes inbox. i log out.

[sevensav--d-archived]

@knifelizard​ sent  🔥 🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

**Okay so to preface this, these are MY bad takes and MY pet peeves, and I am just ONE person so please don’t take anything I say to heart bc what the fuck do I know, I’m nobody.

🔥 Formatting makes RP so much harder for me.  Like, five years ago this shit wasn’t around, I stg.  At least not in the rpcs was in.   I have trouble reading small fonts, and FOLKS THEY ARE JUST GETTING SMALLER AND SMALLER like If I have to copy and paste your text into a dang word doc and up the size, I’m probably not going to want to keep writing with you!  It’s too much work!!!  Icons too, those are getting so dang tiny and like, more power to you if your eyes can understand, but with small sizes on top of psds that more often than not degrade the image, I can barely tell what I’m seeing.  

The thing is, I understand that doing formatting is some of the fun for roleplayers, so I take it all with a grain of salt.  Not everyone has the same beef with their eyes as me.  BUT, there’s a big ol’ problem with a sense of elitism that comes with ~formatting~ in rpcs.  I have noticed it pretty much first hand, since my formatting pretty much ends at cutting and trimming my posts.  I shouldn’t have to force myself to take even MORE time on my posts in order to be noticed and taken seriously as a roleplayer.  I literally HAVE changed the way I do certain things just to fit in with more of the RP trends, and I ended up stopping doing a lot of them because they took too much time and they just suck the fun out of it for me.  Other folks, do it, go ahead, have fun.  But it really grinds my gears when I’m made to feel like I’m not as good at the whole RP thing because I don’t do extra formatting.  I should be judged on my writing and dangit, I think my writing is pretty good, apart from the spelling mistakes I make.

Even simple shit like, making new posts for asks- That’s a GREAT development, I love it but FUCK it makes me tired and sometimes I just don’t wanna do it but I KEEP doing it because literally everyone else does it.... AND THAT SUUUUUCKS like let me live please I already have a hard time writing please don’t pressure me into taking the time to make a complicated theme and making my posts more ~aesthetically pleasing~ when I’m just here to read!  I just wanna read!!!!!!!! :(((((((((((  

Anyway long story short, It only slightly bugs me when people format a ton, bc it’s inconvenient for me- but I can work with that bc I want other people to have fun.  It’s when MY fun is in jeopardy bc I don’t wanna put in the extra work, THAT’S when I get a bit!!! Miffed!!!  Phew.  Okay, moving on.

🔥 MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS until your mental health makes you do something that I don’t like then you’re just toxic and a bad person, OR it doesn;t matter bc you’re not popular.  Like.  Bruh.  BRUH.  I’m gonna expose myself a bit here and state that there have been times on my blogs where I am like.  Teetering on the edge of collapse, and I’m not only crying for help, I’m strapping a neon sign to my face saying “I NEED TO BE TALKED TO OR ELSE I WILL JUST NOT COME BACK” and literally???? Crickets.  

Like my feelings have been hurt so many times, by so many people in this rpc that I’m just floating on a sea of amicability waiting for people to cut me off from them bc I’m so desperate for attention or I’m so clingy but god forbid, if someone with a really popular blog pulls the same shit as me, it’s positivity city.  I could go on about how inbox positivity irks me, but I know that a lot of people really do enjoy getting it.  I just wish I didn’t always have to see it when I’m barely hanging on and begging for a little love but feeling like no one sees me or cares.  It’s like being really hungry and watching someone get fed by a bunch of other people.

I’M JEALOUS!  I AM A PERSON WHO GETS JEALOUS it’s a whole dang part of how my mental illness processes itself in my pea brain noggin!!!  Jealousy is an UGLY emotion and it makes you do SHITTY things.  I am VERY aware of this fact and I’m making efforts to call attention to my needs in a healthier way but dang dang dang is it hard to do that a lot of the time when you see other people getting away with literally the exact same behavior.  Like????????  Ugh.  UGH!  I’m tired. 

“Just leave the RPC bones” WHY DO I HAVE TO GO?  Why is it that the only way I can get anyone to even glance in my direction is to have my much more popular than me best friend call attention to my needs (love them very much btw) but seriously.  SERIOUSLY.  This RPC needs to reflect a bit on how they handle people with “the wrong” kind of mentally ill.  Not every adhd or depressed roleplayer is the same.  Stop.  Treating them.  Like.  They are.  And stop!  Ignoring!  The people who are hurting!  Jeez!  It’s more than just anxiety go brrr or depression go brrr for some people, this is like.  All we fucking have.  And losing it could be really bad for some people.

Anyway, I know this particular subject is really touchy and nuanced and whatever but I’ve been in enough RPCs to recognize when there’s a problem.

If you can’t take someone’s mental health, like if they are too much for you, TELL THEM there’s a pretty good chance they’re aware that they’re a lot to handle, and will either try to be better, or will accept your decision and move on.  Don’t maintain ‘friendships’ if you’re not actually going to maintain them, you’re just going to hurt someone when they think they can rely on you, but they really can’t.  You don’t owe that to anyone, but you shouldn’t dangle it in front of someone only to take it away when you don’t want to deal with the negative side effects of someone’s mental illnesses.  And LETS BE REAL IF YOU RP YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME SHIT so I think we ALL could learn to be more empathetic.  Talk to people, if you can.  If you can’t??????  I hope you’re doing okay.

UGH.

Okay.  Alright, I got that out.  Those were two big ones that have been eating at me for literally months.

If you don’t like what I’m saying, please do nooooot bother trying to make me feel shitty about how I feel.  I already feel shitty for feeling this way!  These opinions are unpopular, I do not expect anyone to be on my very specific, very mean page.