#bunny davis haunts me

[cherrychokerr]

idk if im mkaing too many req but pls Draw My little davis again😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO UR NOT ITS COOL I LIKE YOUR REQS whenever i see em i know they're gonna be good ^w^

i think my specialty is just drawing characters doing completely unrelated throwaway things i don't think the first one really looks like him..but its okay

THE ONE WITH HIM FOLLOWING JIMMY IS FROM WHEN I KEPT PAYING HIM MONEY TO GUARD ME AND I TOOK HIM ALL AROUND THE MAP good times, also wade kind of reminds me of a fox but its probably because of the red hair and general face shape. that doesn't stop me from drawing it tho

[forabeatofadrum]

El WiWi! Thank you @artsyunderstudy for the tag. I just re-read The Hunger Games after I finished The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes last week and I am gutted. I got really into this series again, since I am following a class on social and political philosophy and it's wild.

Last week I posted something from Just Some Guy and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @bookish-bogwitch wondered whose POV it is. At this point I am not sure who knows of my boy Matty Chris D., but it was my boy Matty Chris D., full name Matt Christopher Davis, or also known as MCD. Just Some Guy is Matt's full 8 years at Watford as Simon and Baz's classmate. Aka, it's Snowbaz, from a 3rd person POV of a character who couldn't care less about them. They're more of a nuisance to him.

Since it's completely different from what the fuck Simon and Baz had going on, it gives me some room to add some things to the WOM that was just never important for the plot of Carry On:

I get a job in miss Possibelf’s office, which consists of cleaning and ordering. John decides to work out on the grounds. Leslie and Luis decide to work as kitmen for the football team. Ryan cares for the plants. Arnold helps in the kitchens. Scott also gets an office job, but at the Minotaur’s office. Sam is from a rich family (not an Old one, mind you!) and doesn’t see the need to work. “Do you know if Simon Snow got a job?” Arnold wonders one day. He’s staring at something and when I follow his gaze, I see the usual trio: Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce, and to my dismay, Agatha Wellbelove. (Yes, I am still not over Agatha.) “Dunno, don’t care,” Sam says. “He’s too busy trailing some bunnies, or something,” Luis says. “Hares,” John corrects him, “The Six Hares.” “So, does he have a job?” I ask. John shakes his head. “Makes sense,” Arnold says, “He’s so caught up in the Chosen One shit, I bet he and his friends don’t even know that Watford has jobs!”

Yeah, they probably don't. Y'all can thank @cutestkilla for this again. Matty's job will come back to haunt him.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @coffeegleek @caramelcoffeeaddict @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cerriddwenluna @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @that-disabled-princess @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @cutestkilla ​ @wellbelesbian ​​ @martsonmars ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @shrekgogurt @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @whatevertheweather @theotherhufflepuff @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @esilher @kurtsascot @blackberrysummerblog @nightimedreamersghost

[wendingways]

Anne Shirley in the GFFA

Yes, you read that correctly.

You see, a very strange plot bunny has been lurking in my brain for months, now.

What if Anne Shirley, and maybe someone else from the Green Gables books, somehow ended up in the GFFA toward the end of the Clone Wars? Thinking maybe Anne of Avonlea-era Anne, when she's a teacher and Marilla takes in Davy and Dora Keith.

I just think it would be really funny, because of how Anne is always encountering twins, wherever she goes, and then Luke and Leia are born while she's in the GFFA, and... yep, checks out.

I wonder who Anne would find to be a kindred spirit. If she got to see Yoda's whimsical side, I almost think she might find him to be one? And possibly Padmé? I see a lot of Anne's idealism in Padmé.

She would get to the SW galaxy through the Haunted Wood, one dark and misty night when she's taking the twins back home after a visit to somewhere, perhaps.

Anne would find plenty of "scope for imagination" on Naboo, she'd find it absolutely delightful. As for Anidala and the Set and Veré scheme, she'd be in raptures over the romance of it all.

Oh Force help us, if Davy and Dora happened to be along for the ride.... "Davy Keith! Don't walk on the edge of the veranda, or you'll fall to your death!"

Davy's opinions on kriff, kark, fierfek, etc.:

"They're the bulliest swears, Anne, and they ain't blasphemous 'cause there ain't God here, so I guess it can't offend him."

"No, Davy, but they're coarse and vulgar in another way entirely, and little boys still shouldn't say them," Anne admonished.

And Dora, remarking on some of the people they meet:

"Mrs. Rachel would say they're ungodly and wicked heathens," Dora observed, primly.

"Oh, Dora, I don't think anyone can be wicked who's kind and wise."

If Anne is dropped onto Coruscant, Padmé takes her in, she becomes some sort of aide, goes to the Senate with Padmé. "I don't like that man," she told Padmé, watching the Chancellor. "He is NOT a kindred spirit. Something in his eyes reminds me of [Mrs. Blewett, or someone else unpleasant like that]."

Her patroness' wardrobe would also send Anne into raptures. "Why, it's just like the wardrobe of a princess from one of the stories the girls and I used to write! Oh, Padmé, I could live in here for eons with no sustenance but to feast my eyes upon the splendor!"

Nightmare night. Mid-conversation, Padmé and Anakin hear a crash from outside. Anakin immediately ready to fight someone, Padmé's just like "Davy!" Living room or kitchen, find Anne and Davy. Who's broken something or other on a midnight foray for food. Could lead to a more productive conversation that leads to Anakin being a little more rational.

Also, Padmé and Anakin get a preview of what the next several years of their lives will be like, with a child in the house. And they're like, "Oh, thank goodness we'll only have the one." (Joke's on them there, of course.)

Anne gets through to Anakin about Obi-Wan. "Maybe he's like Marilla. She's... well, I suppose she's most like an aunt. She adopted me, but I could never imagine thinking of her as a mother. She isn't at all the motherly sort. She's prickly as a thornbush, and she seemed oh-so-stern, austere, really, and it took simply ages to thaw her out. She was always disapproving of my messes and scrapes--and oh, there were a lot of scrapes, especially early on--but... oh dear, I'm rambling on again. Anyway, Marilla is not what one would call an affectionate woman, but I just know she loves me, because she's put up with all my scrapes, and if she does correct me, it's because she cares. She didn't care at the start, you see, not that way. She only cared enough to keep me so that horrible Mrs. Blewett wouldn't take me instead, which is really just what any good, upstanding person would do. And I think maybe your Obi-Wan is the same way. After all, it's a pretty difficult thing to raise a child and not come to love them in some way."

Somehow, this all leads to Anakin not falling and Palpatine being properly disposed of.

I may actually try writing this one, because, weird idea though it is, I also think it could weirdly work. Anne Shirley has this way of improving all the lives she touches, and I see no reason why that wouldn't continue in the GFFA.

Any opinions on who Anne might find to be kindred spirits in the GFFA? I'm leaning toward Padmé and maybe Yoda (maybe), but I'd love to hear any other suggestions!

[zannolin]

beyonders ask games

Prologue: What keeps you grounded?

The Loremaster: Strangest book you’ve read?

u and the other anon are my heroes btw

Prologue: What keeps you grounded?

jigsaw puzzles. coffee in my favorite mug every morning. vinyl spinning on my player. piano keys and guitar strings and yarn against my fingers. listening to music. the smell of books. kissing my cat on his little forehead. visits to the library. applesauce and audiobooks. little personal traditions like reading the same books every year, watching the princess bride every february, the polar express every christmas eve. DMs with friends. making lists. sorting coins. doing laundry, washing sheets. that kind of thing, mostly.

The Loremaster: Strangest book you’ve read?

depends on your definition of "strange". tender is the flesh was wild. the lost track of time was curiously whimsical. bryan davis books are undeniably ridiculous. bunny and all's well continue to haunt me. actually might give the award to bunny now that i think about it. what in the world was that book (said affectionately).

beyonders asks!!

[imagekeepr]

Songs for Halloween Parties

Halloween parties offer the most wide open subject possibilities of any type of celebration. Halloween is the one day of the year that lets you be any living thing or dead thing, any occupation, any human or non-human and any personality type. You can be a cartoon character if you like. Since Halloween can go hundreds of different directions, the playlist will likely be a diverse list of novelty songs. The Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett Rock Lobster by The B-52's Creep by Radiohead Everyday Is Halloween by Ministry Space Oddity by David Bowie Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo It's the End of the World As We Know it (and I Feel Fine) by R.E.M. Planet Claire by The B-52's Mad World - Tears For Fears Hell by Squirrel Nut Zippers Wicked Game by Chris Isaak Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack by Andrew Lloyd Weber Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon Black Celebration by Depeche Mode Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles Walking On The Moon by The Police The Fly by U2 Lola by The Kinks Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress by The Hollies I Wanna Be a Cowboy by Boy Meets Girl 2000 Light Years From Home by The Rolling Stones The Munsters TV Theme Not Afraid by Eminem Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down Enter Sandman by Metallica Superstition by Stevie Wonder People Are Strange by The Doors Evil Ways by Santana 1999 by Prince Revolution 9 by The Beatles Twilight Zone TV Theme Hotel California by The Eagles Season of the Witch by Donovan Psycho Killer by Talking Heads The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels Band Highway to Hell by AC/DC Devil Inside by INXS Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran Thriller by Michael Jackson Super Freak by Rick James Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr. Le Freak by Chic Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths Dark Lady by Cher Scary Monsters by David Bowie Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival Devil Woman by Cliff Richard Riders On The Storm by The Doors Runnin' With the Devil by Van Halen Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones Crocodile Rock by Elton John Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People Frankenstein by Edgar Winter Group Nightmare on My Street by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince Time Warp from Rocky Horror Soundtrack Rapture by Blondie She Said She Said by The Beatles Wanted Dead or Alive by Jon Bon Jovi Out of Limits by The Marketts Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell Bad Girls by Donna Summer Black Magic Woman by Santana Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses Welcome to My Nightmare by Alice Cooper Boris the Spider by The Who Jungle Boogie by Kool & The Gang Roxanne by The Police Back in Black by AC/DC Addams Family TV Theme The Blob by The Five Blobs Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson Take the Money and Run by Steve Miller Band Mama Told Me Not to Come by Three Dog Night Witchy Woman by The Eagles Speed Racer TV Theme Let's Go Crazy by Prince King Tut by Steve Martin Another One Bites the Dust by Queen Erotic City by Prince White Wedding by Billy Idol Hells Bells by AC/DC Fly Like an Eagle by Steve Miller Band Bad Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult Tarzan Boy by Baltimore Rocket Man by Elton John Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney & Wings Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera Copacabana by Barry Manilow Black Cat by Janet Jackson You Dropped a Bomb on Me by Gap Band Zoo Station by U2 My City Was Gone by The Pretenders Eye of the Tiger by Survivor 99 Red Balloons by Nena Spirits in the Material World by The Police Monster by Fred Schneider Union of the Snake by Duran Duran They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha by Napoleon XIV Rebel Rebel by David Bowie State of Shock by The Jacksons Walk Like an Egyptian by The Bangles Freakazoid by Midnight Star Low Rider by War Church of the Poison Mind by Culture Club Rebel Yell by Billy Idol Valley Girl by Frank Zappa E.T. by Katy Perry and Kanye West We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions by Queen All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix Strange Magic by Electric Light Orchestra Burning Down the House by Talking Heads Der Komissar by After The Fire Dr. Heckyll and Mr. Jive by Men at Work Taxman by The Beatles Monsters and Angels by Voice of the Beehive Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz Spiders and Snakes by Jim Stafford Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers 2001: A Space Odyssey (Also Sprach Zarathustra) by Deodato Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band by Meco Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead by XTC You Are a Tourist by Death Cab for Cutie The Joker by Steve Miller Band Run Through the Jungle by Creedence Clearwater Revival Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails Jerry Was a Race Car Driver by Primus Clap For the Wolfman by The Guess Who Fear of the Unknown by Siouxsie & The Banshees I Ran by A Flock of Seagulls Centerfold by J. Geils Band Black Velvet by Alannah Myles Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles, also The English Beat You Be Illin' by Run DMC Criminal by Fiona Apple Shout At The Devil by Motley Crue Weird Science by Oingo Boingo Swing The Mood by Jive Bunny and the Mix Masters Wild Thing by Tone Loc Whip It by Devo Planet Claire by The B-52's Legend of Wooley Swamp by Charlie Daniels Band Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley The Freaks Come Out at Night by Houdini The Road To Hell by Chris Rea Billionaire by Travie McCoy featuring Bruno Mars Devil With a Blue Dress by Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels Rock Me Amadeus by Falco Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield Space Cowboy by Steve Miller Band Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash, also Social Distortion Walk the Dinosaur by Was (Not Was) Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace N.W.O. by Ministry Paranomia by Art of Noise Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants If I Only Had a Brain by Lee Marvin from The Wizard of Oz Pink Panther Theme by Henry Mancini Orchestra Smuggler's Blues by Glenn Frey She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby Runnin' Down a Dream by Tom Petty Axel F by Crazy Frog (You've Got to) Fight For Your Right (To Party) by Beastie Boys In The Year 2525 by Zager and Evans Major Tom by Peter Schilling Man On The Moon by R.E.M. Happy Days Theme by Pratt & McClain Send Me an Angel by Real Life Convoy by C.W. McCall Particle Man by They Might Be Giants Pinball Wizard by The Who Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown It's a Mistake by Men At Work Synchronicity II by The Police Mr. Roboto by Styx Wipeout by Surfaris Evil Woman by Electric Light Orchestra King of Pain by The Police Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody by David Lee Roth Twilight Zone by Golden Earring Rockin' Robin by Michael Jackson Spooky by Classics IV Jungle Love by The Time A View To a Kill by Duran Duran Rain on the Scarecrow by John Mellencamp Love Potion #9 by The Searchers Cult of Personality by Living Colour The Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr. Authority Song by John Mellencamp Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog The Bird by The Time Lil' Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham & The Pharoahs Canary in a Coalmine by The Police Octopus's Garden by The Beatles Maxwell's Silver Hammer by The Beatles Puttin' On The Ritz by Taco Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin The Streak by Ray Stevens Bat Dance by Prince Theme from Greatest American Hero by Joey Scarbury Fame by David Bowie Eye In The Sky by Alan Parsons Project Devil in Disguise by Elvis Presley Mommy's Little Monster by Social Distortion Deadman's Curve by Jan & Dean Creature from the Black Lagoon by Dave Edmunds Zombie by The Cranberries The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen Haunted House by Jumpin’ Gene Simmons It's Halloween by The Shaggs Dragula by Rob Zombie Witch Queen of New Orleans by Redbone I Was A Teenage Werewolf by The Cramps Eye of the Zombie by John Fogerty Halloween by Misfits Pet Sematary by The Ramones Horror Movie by Skyhooks The Raven by Alan Parsons Project Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper Don't Be Afraid of the Dark by Robert Cray Hypnotized by Fleetwood Mac The Scientist by Coldplay Run For Your Life by The Beatles Dig My Grave by They Might Be Giants Waltz in Black by The Stranglers I Put a Spell on You by Screamin Jay Hawkins, Creedence Clearwater Revival Ghost Riders in the Sky by The Outlaws, Johnny Cash Ghost of Tom Joad by Rage Against the Machine, Bruce Springsteen Dead Souls by Joy Division, Nine Inch Nails Swamp Witch by Jim Stafford I'm a Goner by Matt and Kim w/ Soulja Boy & Andrew W.K. Mekong Delta - Night on a Bare Mountain Nightmare by Brainbug In the Hall of the Mountain King by Sounds Incorporated One Piece at a Time by Johnny Cash Tequila by The Champs I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night by The Electric Prunes Nasty by Janet Jackson No More Mr. Nice Guy by Alice Cooper Backstabbers by The O'Jays Pets by Porno For Pyros Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins Ghost of a Texas Ladies' Man by Concrete Blonde Dr. Tarr & Professor Feather by Alan Parsons Project To Live and Die in LA by Wang Chung Pictures of Matchstick Men by Status Quo, also Camper Van Beethoven Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves by Cher Land of Confusion by Genesis I Fought The Law by Bobby Fuller Four Naughty Girls by Samantha Fox Jimmy Olson's Blues by Spin Doctors Nightmares by Violent Femmes I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie 42 by Coldplay Haunted House of the Century by Tangent Sunset The Warrior by Scandal Pacman Fever by Buckner & Garcia Planet Earth by Duran Duran Skeleton River by Tangent Sunset Junk Food Junkie by Larry Groce Everything Is Broken by Bob Dylan The Gambler by Kenny Rogers Shark Attack by Wailing Souls Season of the Witch by Joan Jett Superman's Song by Crash Test Dummies Brain Damage by Pink Floyd Paranoid by Black Sabbath He's a Vampire by Archie King Mad Scientist by The Zanies

[pumpkinbutt700]

List Of Books I've Read in 2023!

Howdy.

January:

- The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

- The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling

- Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree

February:

-The Weight of Blood by Tiffany D Jackson

-Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong

March:

-Her Majesty's Royal Coven by Juno Dawson

- The Book of the Most Precious Substance by Sara Gran

- Extasia by Claire Legrand

- The Shadow of the Gods by John Gwynne

April:

- Tomie by Junji Ito

- Ohio by Stephen Markley

- A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

-The Hunger of the Gods by John Gwynne

May:

- Devilman Vol 1 by Go Nagai

- Devilman Vol 2 by Go Nagai

- The Sight by David Clement-Davies

- Fell by David Clement-Davies

- The Lake by Natasha Preston

- Dead Dead Girls by Nekesa Afia

- The Turn of the Key by Ruth Ware

JUNE :

- A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bathena

- Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

- Harlem Sunset by Nekesa Afia

- The Comeback by Lily Chu

- Better Together by Christine Riccio (DNFed at page 60)

- No One Gets out Alive by Adam Nevill

- The Twin by Natasha Preston

- Pinky and Pepper Forever by Eddy Atoms

- My Sweet Audrina by VC Andrews

- The Lost Star of Mariage-du-Diable by Sabina Bailey

- Elysium Girls by Kate Pentecost

July:

- The Shadow Cabinet by Juno Dawson

- Conjure Women by Afia Atakora

- All Over Creation by Ruth Ozeki

- Severance by Ling Ma

- Victories Greater Than Death by Charlie Jane Anders

- Aquicorn Cove by K O'neill

- This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

- Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

- Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

August:

- Dreams Bigger Than Heartbreak by Charlie Jane Anders

- Promises Stronger Than Darkness by Charlie Jane Anders

- The Devourers by Indra Das

- Sanctuary With Kings by Kathryn Moon

- The Ninth Rain by Jen Williams

- Deep as the Sky, Red as the Sea by Rita Chang- Epigg

September:

- Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

- New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

- Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

- Life and Death by Stephenie Meyer

- Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

October:

- Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

- Crumbs by Danie Stirling

- She is a Haunting by Trang Than Tran (DNFed at 40 pages)

- Unbury Carol by Joshn Malerman

- I Feed Her to the Beast and the Beast is Me by Jamison Shae

- Scout's Honor by Lily Anderson

- Devilman G Vol 1 by Go Nagai

- Sugar Sugar Rune Vols 1 - 8 by Moyocco Anno

- The Long Shadows of October by Kristopher Triana

- Mary by Nat Cassidy

- The Woman in Me by Britney Spears

November:

- The Bitter Twins by Jen Williams

- The Legend of Nightfall by Mickey Zucker Reichert

- The Return of Nightfall by Mickey Zucker Reichart

- The Project by Courtney Summers

- The City in the Middle of the Night by Charlie Jane Anders

- One by One by Ruth Ware

- Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer

- The Secret History of the Pink Carnation by Lauren Willig

December:

- The Poison Song by Jen Williams

- The Masque of the Black Tulip by Lauren Willig

- Bunny by Mona Awad

- Comfort Me With Apples by Catherynne M Valente

- Once There Were Wolves by Charlotte McConaghy

- Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (DNFed at 45 pages)

- House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

- House of Cotton by Monica Brashears

- Princess Ai by Misaho Kujiradou, Courtney Love, DJ Milky

- Electric Idol by Katee Robert

- A Tip For the Hangman by Allison Epstein

- A Merry Little Meet Cute by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone

- Look-Alikes Christmas by Joan Steiner (i know it's a children's book but IDC!)

- A Holly Jolly Ever After by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone

- The Deception of the Emerald Ring by Lauren Willig

- The Random House Book of Fairy Tales adapted by Amy Ehrlich, illustrated by Diane Goode

[alivingghost]

Hi! Can you do a list of your ten favorite movies? I was wondering if maybe you could break them down just a little like horror, feel good, need to cry movies etc.

I would LOVE to! Thank you for such a sweet and thoughtful ask! there may be more than ten there are more than ten. Here’s my list:

Movies that make you look at your life and ask yourself many questions:

Almost Famous - My favorite movie. It’s based on the true story of the youngest writer of Rolling Stone. Don’t look up anything else about the movie. Just watch it. Tell me when you do. The best line is, “The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone else when we’re uncool.”

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl - I actually just saw this, but it made me laugh hysterically, then sob uncontrollably. They portray cancer very realistically. A self-hating boy unwillingly befriends a dying girl. The characters are ALL extremely unique. They all made me laugh.

Into The Wild - I adore Chris McCandless and many people disagree with me. Watch it. Choose your side. This movie always makes me sit for about thirty minutes afterwards and just not know what to do. It’s based on the book about the true story of Chris McCandless, who essentially erased himself from society and went to live in the Alaskan wilderness. His soul was too wild for this world.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Love this movie. It makes me feel good, but it also makes me feel like I’m not living my life how I need to be. It pushes me to do that. Plus, Ezra Miller is perfect as Patrick. It’s a very beautiful coming-of-age story that isn’t your typical high school cutesy movie or story. It deals with some heavy topics.

Inside Llewyn Davis - Oscar Isaac playing guitar and singing. Cat. Weird story. Very mellow movie. Very calming music.

Whiplash - The opposite of the previous movie. This movie gives me anxiety. The music is stellar, however, and the story is a must see. Everyone’s performance is haunting and on-point. I didn’t think I would like it going into it, but it’s one of my favorites now. Drummer wants to be the best. Intense.

Frank - Weird. Well worth a watch. Michael Fassbender wears a papier-mâchéhead.

Capote - Follows Truman Capote as he wrote In Cold Blood, one of my favorite books. He falls in love with a killer. Very good.

Dead Poet’s Society - Beautiful. Robin Williams plays a new English teacher who begins to use different and unorthodox methods of teaching. Slightly gay. Sad. You will cry.

Horror Movies that range from weird to funny to terrifying to mind-fuck:

Green Room - Anton Yelchin is amazing in this movie. It’s pretty gory, but don’t let that deter you. A punk band is trapped in a venue after witnessing a crime. This movie is my favorite horror movie. It’s terrifying. I didn’t know Patrick Stewart could scare me this much.

Cabin in the Woods - A parody of horror movies. Every monster you can imagine is in it. Very funny. Very scary.

Southbound - FREAKY. Love this movie, it’s also my favorite horror movie. Anthology. Things you don’t want to see, but secretly want to see.

The ‘Purge’ Movies - Our world, but for one day each year, crime is legal. The movies get better as they go along. I haven’t seen The First Purge yet, but Election Year was great. I adore the concept, I think the political statement it makes is iconic.

Trick R’ Treat - Another anthology. Halloween vibes. Funny little guy named Sam who kills people. Vampires. Monsters. Murderers.

Donnie Darko- Mind-fuck. Lots of sci-fi elements, but it’s in horror because of a few plot elements. A jet engine falls out of the sky and crashes into Donnie Darko’s bedroom. There’s a man in a creepy bunny suit named Frank.

Brick:

Brick - A movie that takes a modern, teenage twist on the film noir. Very nicely done. Funny in a very tasteful, dark way. Hard to describe the plot. Good movie for any mood.

Feel good/funny/musicals/’YES’ and ’UGH’ movies:

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World - One of my favorites of all-time. I love the graphic novels and love the movie. Absolutely hilarious. Scott Pilgrim must defeat the seven evil exes of the girl of his dreams.

Across the Universe - Basically a compilation of The Beatles’ songs in a really wonderfully done movie set during the Vietnam War. The covers of the songs are AMAZING. All the characters are based on The Beatles’ songs.

Moulin Rouge - A writer falls in love with a performer. Singing. A little odd.

Baby Driver - Great soundtrack. A young get-a-way driver ends up caught in a heist he doesn’t want to be a part of. The laundromat scene has great colors. Very wonderful cinematography.

LGBT Movies that remind me how great it is to be gay:

The Way He Looks (Hoje Eu Quero Voltar Sozinho)- Adorable gay movie. Happy ending. A boy falls in love with a blind boy.

Kill Your Darlings - Based on the life of Allen Ginsberg, my favorite poet, as he was first entering college. Allen gets caught up in a murder. Gay. Watch it then read some of Ginsberg’s work. My favorite poem of his is ‘America’.

Paris is Burning - Watch if you love drag queens. Wonderful LGBT movie.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch - Great music. Love the musical, as well. Sad, but hilariously exciting story. A boy is convinced to have sexual reassignment surgery in order to escape Germany during the war. It’s never truly clarified if Hedwig is trans, which is such a wonderful mystery to their story.

I Killed My Mother (J'ai tué ma mère) - Sort of coming-of-age. Mother and son relationship. There are some really visually appealing scenes.

[parsippanylibrarykids]

By: Miss Jen, Miss Katy, & Miss Melissa

Picture Books 

Barnett, Mac. The Wolf, the Duck, and the Mouse. ​(Grades K-2)  This clever picture book begins with a mouse that is quickly gobbled up by a wolf. Fortunately his new accomodations AKA the wolf’s stomach include a duck with kitchenware and jam. The duck states “I may have been swallowed but I have no intention of being eaten.” Award winning illustrator Jon Klassen’s artwork add to the charm of this folkloric tale. 

Colleen, Marcie. Love, Triangle.​ ​ (Grades K-2) Square and Circle have been best friends since they were first created. Triangle arrives on the scene and brings new ideas. Both Square and Circle want to be friends with Triangle which causes a split between the two buddies. This common friendship problem is resolved at the end of this geometric story.

 Daywalt, Drew. The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors. ​(Grades K-3) The origins of the classic schoolyard game are explained in hilarious detail. Will Rock, Paper, or Scissors be victorious? Rock is searching for a worthy opponent. Paper leaves the Empire of Mom’s Home Office after conquering the Computer Printer while Scissors defeats Dinosaur-Shaped Chicken Nuggets. Wacky inanimate objects come to life under the expertise of illustrator Adam Rex. Fans of Daywalt’s The Day the Crayons Quit will be equally as charmed by this book. 

Denos, Julia. Windows. ​(PreS-1) In this story, a boy of color dons a read hoodie, leashes his dog and ventures out into the twilight, where the windows are “blinking awake as the lights turn on a neighborhood of paper lanterns”. The reader gets to peer in at the small figures dancing, making dinner or throwing a party and watch as the color of the sky changes. The compositions are rendered in ink, watercolor, letterpress and digital collage. The narrative ends with a story shared and a snuggle. Readers will want to revisit this story over and over. Everyday routine turned to wonder on an evening walk filled with discovery. 

Dykman, Ame. Read the Book, Lemmings!​ (PreS-2) Another delightful collaboration by the team behind Wolfie the Bunny and Horrible Bear! Lemmings don’t jump off cliffs. It says so in the book that Foxy is reading. However, the three lemmings on the boat have not read the book and keep jumping into the water. After trying unsuccessfully to get the lemmings to read the book, Foxy realizes he is going to have to actually teach the lemmings to read before he can stop them. A funny read aloud! Children will love this book at storytime and at home. 

Jory, John and Benji Davies. Come Home Already!​ (PreS-3) The third hysterical picture book about Duck and Bear, unlikely pals. In this book, an excited Duck wants to hang out with Bear but Bear has left to go fishing for a whole week on his own. Bear is relieved to have some time alone. What will Duck do while Bear is gone? How will he survive without his best friend? 

Lamothe, Matt. ​This is How We Do It: One Day in the Lives of Seven Kids from Around the World. ​(Grades K-3) Seven children from Italy, Japan, Uganda, Russia, India, Iran, and Peru describe one day in their lives as they eat, play, and learn. An author’s note, a glossary, a map, and photographs of the families are included at the end of the book. This is an informational picture book that could be used in a social studies unit. 

Shannon, David. Bizzy Mizz Lizzie​. (Grades 1-3)  Lizzie is the busiest, buzziest bee in Hivetown. She longs to impress the Queen by winning a spelling bee contest, but she studies to the point of exhaustion on top of trying to juggle all of her other activities. When she dozes off in the middle of the competition, the only solution is rest. Lizzie finally learns to stop and smell the flowers. A book with a good message and wonderful illustrations will appeal to young readers. 

Tsurumi, Andrea. Accident! ​(PreS-2) When a little armadillo named Lola knocks a jug of red juice all over her family’s white sofa, she flees to the library to hide. But as Lola run through town, she is joined by many others who have also made a mess and want to hide at the library too, avoiding conflict. Fun and colorful illustrations are found throughout the book and children will be drawn to the intricate details. This book teaches that a mistake can happen due to thoughtlessness, carelessness or bad luck and that it is ok to call it an accident but also necessary to “make it better” and “own up to it.” 

Easy Readers 

LaReau, Kara. The Infamous Ratsos are Not Afraid. ​(Grades 1-2) Brothers Louie and Ralphie Ratso plan to clear out an abandoned lot in their neighborhood and create an arcade. The problem is that the house next to the vacant lot might be haunted. ​This is the second book in the series that began with the Geisel Honor Book, The Infamous Ratsos. 

Shea, Bob. Ballet Cat: What’s Your Favorite Favorite? ​(Grades 1-3) Ballet Cat and her cousin Goat are preparing a show for grandma and both want to prove that they are the best. Ballet Cat will come up with a fancy dance routine and Goat will perform tricks at his magic show. Which one will be her FAVORITE favorite? Terrifically fun third entry in this series. 

Snyder, Laurel. Charlie & Mouse & Grumpy. ​ (Grades K-1) This picture book/easy reader hybrid is the sequel to Charlie and Mouse. Charlie and Mouse are brothers who are spending time with their grandfather AKA Grumpy. In four short chapters, the trio discuss what it means to be “medium”, enjoy a special night while the boys’ parents go out, and choose the proper goodnight song. 

Yoon, Salina. That’s My Book! and Other Stories. ​(Grades K-1) Big Duck, Little Duck, and Porcupine are a sweet trio of friends that find the best use for books, plan a talent show, and dress like a pirate. The latest addition to the Duck, Duck, Porcupine series contains three short chapters with bold text in large speech bubbles. 

Juvenile Fiction 

Bartok, Mira. The Wonderling. ​(Grades 4-6) Number 13 is a groundling (half human/half animal) who lives in an orphanage run by Ms. Carbunkle. He is named Arthur by a fellow groundling when he saves her. The pair of new friends escape the “Home” and set off on an adventure full of danger, magic, and mystery. Fans of Erin Hunter’s Warriors series will enjoy this lengthy fantasy novel. 

Bradley, Kimberly Brubaker. The War I Finally Won. ​(Grades 4-6)  Picking up right after 2015’s Newbery Honor book The War That Saved My Life, this very worthy sequel continues the story of Ada, her brother Jamie, and their guardian Susan. Set against the backdrop of World War II (which is felt much more immediately in this novel), Ada struggles to deal with the aftermath of years of abuse by her mother. An emotional, yet rewarding book for fans of the first book or for readers who love excellent historical fiction. 

Broach, Elise. Trouble at School for Marvin & James. ​(Grades 1-2) This is the third book in the Masterpiece Adventures series featuring best friends, James and Marvin. James is a human and Marvin is a small black beetle. James decides to bring Marvin to school so he can experience James’ art class taught by beloved teacher, Mr. Chang. Mr. Change has blue hair and often quotes, “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” Marvin enjoys school until a sneeze separates him from James. This book is an excellent choice for new chapter-book readers. 

Clements, Andrew. The Losers Club.​ (Grades 3-6) Alec loves to read -- so much so that it gets him in trouble at school and at home. Even the head of the afterschool program at his school says he can’t just sit around by himself and read; he has to join a club. So Alec comes up with a plan to create his own reading club, which he names The Losers Club to deter other kids from joining. His bright idea backfires when it turns out to be the most popular club at school. There are tons of great books referenced throughout, and there’s a helpful list at the back of the book for bookworms who want to read them all! 

DeStefano, Lauren. The Girl with the Ghost Machine.​ (Grades 4-6) Emmaline Beaumont was 10 years old when her mother died; two years later, her father remains so consumed with grief that it’s almost as if Emmaline has lost both parents. In a desperate attempt to bring his wife back, Monsieur Beaumont tinkers with his “ghost machine” night and day. When Emmaline’s attempt to destroy the machine doesn’t go as planned, she and readers are left wondering if precious memories of loved ones are worth trading for the chance to interact with them one more time. Emmaline’s twin best friends, Oliver and Gully, represent the push and pull between hope and logic that plagues Emmaline and offers her new ways of understanding grief. Readers should be prepared for heaviness and sadness throughout. A story of loss, friendship, and resilience. 

Farrer, Maria. Me and Mister P.​ (Grades 2-5) Arthur is tired of his younger brother Liam’s behavior. He can’t even watch television with volume since it upsets his brother. Arthur decides to run away from home but he meets a friendly polar bear named Mister P. who alters his plans. Mister P. helps Arthur accept his brother’s differences. This quirky story is bibliotherapy for siblings of children with autism as well as a good read for children who like fantastical animal stories. 

Krishnaswami, Uma. Step Up to the Plate, Maria Singh. ​(Grades 3-5) Maria Singh lives with her family in Yuba City, California during WWII. Most of the community members are adha-adha (half and half) with fathers from India and mothers from Mexico. Maria’s teacher forms a softball team which Maria wants to join but she is not sure if her father will let her. Maria and her family struggle against discrimination from kids and adults. 

Middleton, Dana. Open If You Dare. ​(Grades 4-6) For Birdie and her best friends, Ally and Rose, the joy of finishing elementary school is overshadowed by their dread of summer’s end. With Rose unwillingly moving back to England, and Ally and Birdie attending different middle schools, their long, close friendship is coming to an end. In the meantime, Ally deals with problems on and off the pitcher’s mound, while Birdie follows the trail of mystery, and Rose rebels against her parents in a creative, yet destructive way. The story is set in Atlanta with well-drawn individuals from different generations. Tween issues are addressed from first crush to first steps toward independence. A rewarding chapter book. 

Morris, Chad. Mustaches for Maddie.​ (Grades 4-6) Maddie is a 12 year old girl who has a big imagination. When she is diagnosed with a brain tumor, she faces surgery and possible negative outcomes from the operation. She also faces middle school friendships and even jealous classmates with humor and bravery. Maddies loves fake mustaches so her supporters wear them. This book is based on the authors’ daughter and will appeal to readers who liked Wonder by R.J. Palacio. 

Pennypacker, Sara. Waylon! Even More Awesome​. (Grades 2-4) A Clementine series spin off which features another likeable kid. Waylon and Baxter are classmates who have to share a dog who lives in a shelter. The two boys can not be more different. While Waylon loves everything about science and following rules, Baxter is always in trouble and close to being a juvenile delinquent. When their dog, Dumpster Eddy, is going to be thrown out of the shelter he is living in, the boys come up with a plan to save him. A book about friendship, family, perseverance and hard work make this a wonderful book for reluctant readers. 

Schlitz, Laura. Princess Cora and the Crocodile. ​(Grades 1-3) Princess Cora never has a moment to play or relax as her parents, the King and Queen, are constantly training her to be perfect. She writes a desperate letter to her fairy godmother asking for help. A pet crocodile arrives the next day and he impersonates Cora so she can have a day off. Caldecott Medalist Brian Floca’s illustrations add to the humor of this story. 

Swanson, Matthew. ​The Real McCoys. ​(Grades 3-5) Moxie McCoy is a fourth grade detective who faces her biggest challenge yet in this fun chapter book. When someone kidnaps beloved school mascot Eddie the Owl, Moxie is on the case-but she is forced to solve this new mystery on her own since her best friend, and fellow detective, has moved away. Moxie finds clues and points fingers but she needs help to find the owl mascot. Enter Milton, Moxie’s smart little brother. Can the real McCoys solve the crime of the century? 

Wilson, Amy. ​The Lost Frost Girl​. (Grades 4-6) A modern day fairy tale about a girl who discovers that she is Jack Frost’s daughter. Owl is a twelve year old girl with a quirky mom, a dad she has never met, a cool best friend named Mallory and a boy who gives her weird looks at school. When she finds out that Jack Frost is her father, she is determined to meet him and delves into Jack’s wonderful and wild world of winter. She realizes she is part human/part fay and has special powers of her own. A tale of family, friendship and magic and embracing who you are meant to be. 

Zemke, Deborah. The Curse of Einstein’s Pencil. ​(Grades 2-3) This second story about Bea Garcia will appeal to fans of Judy Moody. Bea is initially excited when the smartest girl in school, Judith Einstein asks her to be a partner in the geography contest. Then Bea wonders if the secret to Judith’s intelligence is her pencil. Bea takes Judith’s pencil when it rolls on the floor but the effect on her life and friendship is not what she expected. 

Graphic Novels 

Hale, Shannon and Pham, LeUyen. Real Friends​.​ (Grades 3-6) Shannon Hale, author of the bestselling Princess in Black series, debuts her first graphic novel: a memoir of her childhood friendships from kindergarten through sixth grade. Friends, rivals, and frenemies drift in and out of Shannon’s life, but her mean older sister remains a constant menacing presence. Readers will find much to relate to: neighborhood friends who move away; the dread of finding out that all of your friends have been assigned to another teacher. Hale as an adult narrates the story with a welcome perspective, acknowledging when she herself was a bad friend or seeing the dynamics of a situation more clearly in hindsight. Fans of Raina Telgemeier will love this. 

Jamieson, Victoria. All’s Faire in Middle School​.​ (Grades 4-8) From Victoria Jamieson, who won a Newbery Honor for Roller Girl, comes another middle grade graphic novel. Imogen has been homeschooled her whole life; her world revolves around the local Renaissance Faire where her parents work. But now she’s ready for her biggest challenge: middle school. Imogen’s unconventional background makes it difficult for her to fit in, but is she willing to do what it takes to conform? Recommend to fans of Raina Telgemeier. 

Siegel, Mark. The Sand Warrior. ​ (Grades 3-5) The Five Worlds is a galaxy of five planets filled with different species. Oona Lee teams up with An Tzu, a boy from the poorest slums, and Jax Amboy, a lonely star athlete. They discover that they may be able to light five ancient beacons and save the Five Worlds. Hand this fantasy story to fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender and the Amulet series. 

Biography 

Guglielmo, Amy and Tourville, Jacqueline. Pocket Full of Colors.​ ​(Grades K-4). Mary Blair is remembered today as one of the greatest and most influential Disney animators, but at the time, her use of color was considered “too vivid, too wild.” When her all-male colleagues at Disney reject her ideas, she strikes out on her own, where she finds huge success as an illustrator and set designer following her own vision. Finally, Walt Disney himself asks her to come back; she’s the only one he will trust to design the now-classic ride It’s a Small World. Gorgeous brightly-colored illustrations evoke Blair’s distinctive style. An author’s note is included at the end of the book. 

Meltzer, Brad. I am Sacagawea. ​(Grades 1-3) Sacagawea’s story is the latest addition to the Ordinary People Change the World​ best-selling biography series. Sacagawea was the only Native American to join Lewis and Clark’s expedition. Children will learn about the traits that made Sacagawea a trailblazer and the significant contributions she made to the world. A timeline and photos are included at the back of the book. Christopher Eliopoulos’ illustrations reflect his origins in the comic industry. He recreates lively scenes from Sacagawea’s life. 

Rosenstock, Barb. Vincent Can’t Sleep. ​(Grades K-2) This picture book biography of Vincent Van Gogh explores his life especially his troubles with insomnia. He had trouble sleeping as a child, an adolescent, and as an adult in the hospital. The text is short but lyrical while the illustrations in acrylic, pen, and watercolor reflect the night sky and his iconic work, The Starry Night. An author’s note and sources are included at the end of the book. 

Nonfiction 

Burcaw, Shane. Not So Different. ​(Grades 1-3). Shane was born with a degenerative muscle disease, and he’s never been able to walk. People always seem to ask him the same ten questions, like “How do you eat?” or “Why is your head so big?” Answers to these and more are accompanied by funny photographs. Through Shane’s funny and frank stories--he once broke his expensive motorized wheelchair by using it to lift his brother to dunk a basketball--readers will learn that they’re not so different from him after all. A nice introduction to disability for younger kids. 

Burns, Loree Griffin. Life on Surtsey: Iceland’s Upstart Island​. ​(Grades 4-7) In 1963, an underwater volcano off the coast of Iceland erupted, creating a new island formed from rock and ash. Scientists realized they could use this new island to study how life takes hold in a new environment. What are the first plants to grow on the bare rock? When and how do birds, insects, and other animals arrive? The book follows a team of scientists who return to the island every year to study the changes; full-color photographs document their journey and the changing island landscape. It’s a great introduction to how scientists really work, full of details that kids will love. (On a deserted island, how do you go to the bathroom?) A glossary and bibliography are included at the end of the book. 

Chin, Jason. Grand Canyon.​ (Grades 3-5) Some may think of the Grand Canyon as just a “big hole in the ground,” but through gorgeous and detailed illustrations, Chin reveals the complex ecosystem it hosts and what it tells us about our geological past. As a father and daughter hike through the canyon, the reader learns more about what makes each level of the canyon unique. Die-cuts reveal fossils in the modern-day, and when readers turn the page, they are transported back millions of years, to what the landscape looked like when each fossil was formed. Further scientific information, an author’s note, and sources are included at the end of the book. 

Eggers, Dave. ​Her Right Foot. ​(Grades 3 and up) A beautifully illustrated book about the history of the iconic statue along with humor and interesting trivia during the first part of the book. The second part of the book talks about the statue’s feet and how the back of her right foot is actually lifted as if she is going somewhere. No one ever seems to talk about the fact that the statue of liberty is walking; she is on the move. If the statue of liberty is a symbol of freedom, if the statue of liberty has welcomed millions of immigrants to the United States, then how can she stand still? 

Harris, Chris. I’m Just No Good At Rhyming.​ (Grades 3-8) Fans of Shel Silverstein, Ogden Nash, or Jack Prelutsky will enjoy this volume of humorous poetry for kids. Lane Smith’s hilarious illustrations add to the fun.

Rose, Deborah Lee. Beauty and the Beak. ​(Grades 3-5) An Alaskan bald eagle lost most of her beak after a poacher shot her. She was unable to eat, drink, or preen without her beak. The eagle later named Beauty was sent to the care of biologist Veltkamp at a raptor center in Idaho. Since Beauty’s beak did not regenerate, Veltkamp enlisted the help of a dentist and an engineer. Together they fashioned a beak for Beauty using a 3-D printer. This nonfiction animal rescue story has similaries to stories by the Hatkoffs including Winter’s Tail. 

Roy, Katherine. How To Be An Elephant. ​(Grades 3-6) A stunning look at how a newborn elephant matures into a capable member of the herd. This book emphasizes how an infant elephant learns through her family herd an array of skills that are necessary to keep up; from learning to walk and swim right away, projecting her voice, using her nose to eat and smell and keeping cool with her large ears. Large illustrations of calves with their herd are interspersed with captivating diagrams and smaller images work well together. A carefully researched book and a must have for all elementary school collections.  

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That’s Highly Offensive: 2018 Golden Globes

Y’all know I only wear all black all the time, so I find the fact that Hollywood is "uniting" against whatever tonight by wearing all black to be kind of a stupid way to pussy foot around the issue, but who asked me? This should have been a night when the carpet looked the way I think it should at all times, but honestly, a lot of stuff looked makeshift and cheap to me. And WHAT was with all the skirts-over-pants nonsense?? I thought that was over. Also, forgive the overuse of the funeral garb schtick but what choice did I have?

Wow. It's rare that the first look I see ends up being the worst dressed of the night, but Debra Messing has just taken the cake, eaten it, made another cake, eaten that, made another one, and took that too. I know it's cliché but MESSing says it all. #thefacesofmeth That emerald eyeshadow and those Elvira for Family Dollar false lashes!!  And WHAT is that dent in her forehead?? I’ll tell you what it is… bad Botox. Or Juvaderm. Or whatever expired baby bunny cartilage her dermo found in Karen Walker’s dumpster. Oh and also, she’s wearing the dress version of Liza’s putty kkk hood shoes and it’s  all HIGHLY offensive.

Kelly Clarkson- "From Justin to King Midas" if King Midas was a lizard...

Kristin Cavallari went as 1999 Oscars Angelina Jolie but with a ballerina's bun and I'm not ok with it.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about Tracee Ellis Ross’s outfit. The phrase ‘Charmin Noir’ comes to mind, but let’s not bc you know how much I love a turban/wrap!

Meryl Streep: You bore me to tears. I like your glasses.

It seems to be literally KILLING Giuliana Rancid that she can’t ask “Who are you wearing?” bc she is incapable of NOT pointing out the fact that she’s not asking that question to every person she's interviewed. And as always, she looks like the Queen from Antz but this year her skin is a particularly orange shade of Oscar Meyer all beef frank. She also has one of the most bulbous horse hair dino ponytails I’ve ever seen. She's like the anorexic version of Starla from Napoleon Dynamite. AND HER TAN LINES! I didn't know you got those from bottled self tanner...

Catherine Zeta Jones: I am still obsessed with CZJ even after recently rewatching Ocean’s Twelve for the first time since Cat and I fell asleep in the theater. Her face, her body, her dress, her earrings, her love for her thousand year old father in law… I am fully behind all of it!

Penelope Cruz: See above. #stunning

I don't know who this woman from Outlander is but I do know she better be on her way to audition at Tweetsie Railroad.

Connie Britton: NO.

Jessica Biel and J. Tim- don’t NO ONE CARE. I don’t know one person who watched ‘The Sinner’ (most people didn’t even know what I was talking about when I asked if they’d heard of it), so the fact that she is nominated is a testament to that Sexy Back money and nothing more. Just her talking about being a producer of the show is like… We get it…you’re the only one who would pay you to be an actress anymore. PS, your arms are fabulous.

Mandy Candy Moore: Olé!

Holy shit Diane Kruger looks amazing.

Unfortunately, Sarah Paulson is one of those I feel looks like she's in something cheap. Really cheap. Like she stole a leotard from the Xanadu Mourning collection and wrapped a table cloth around herself. And I can't say I love the choppiness of her bob.

Michele Williams- I’m still not over how ridiculous you looked on Dawson’s Creek, but your pixie has grown on me over the last few years but OHMYGOD what is that shelf in the back? Lloyd Christmas called…

Seth Myers looks like the singing sword and a foot had a baby and named it Cheremy.

Jamie Chung- First of all, why are you here? Secondly, you look like the winner of a ‘Grunge Bride’ themed stripper contest sponsored by Hefty in 2002. Those shoes….

Alexis Bledel- Let’s get this out of the way: I can’t stand you. You’re a mumbler with creepy Kewpie doll eyes and mouth. But as for what you’re wearing, GASP you’re not wearing solid black so you obviously don’t care about women!! But also, you must not care about yourself either because you look like one of Ariel’s sisters and Dionysus had a baby and it came out haunted.

Why is Dave Franco wearing so much rouge????

Alison Brie- Ok, you can channel Audrey Hepburn, I guess. Although her dress does resemble my senior prom dress from Cache. Oh wait- there’s a pants leg. You’re trash.

William H. Macy: Did Grubby die? That’s the only reason I can think of for Teddy Ruxpin to show up to the Golden Globes in all black…

Gal Gadot is clearly going to an audition for "A Chorus Line" after the Globes. Why else would she steal a maitre'd's jacket and cut it in half?

Saoirse Ronan looks perfect all around. I need all of it immediately, even though I’d look more like Bruce Villanche dressed in drag doing a David Bowie tribute than her svelte awesomeness…

Eva Longoria looks like a pregnant Sharpie.

It took me a solid 3 seconds & a glance at the caption to figure out I was looking at Halle Berry and not some mixed berry bag of Skittles from a prom themed episode of the CW’s Gossip Girl revival. And her bangs look gross and ridiculous. #whywontsheage??

I take it back: Reese Witherspoon looks like the pregnant Sharpie. Or maybe her daughter has decided to become a fashion designer and this was her first foray into an origami—inspired collection? #blacktobasics

Nicole Kidman (or Nicky Kickin it in the Moulin Rouge, as Jack McFarland calls her) looks flawless, as always. The one negative thing I will say is that I find flutter fly cap sleeves to be among the most offensive things in adult female fashion (mainly because the only humans that can pull them off are pre-teens, anorexics and Kate Moss (not that she’d ever wear them).

Viola Davis wins everything. Omg that hair and makeup and jewelry and dress. ⚰️⚰️⚰️

Did Zac-without-a-K Efron want people to mistake him for Milo Ventimiglia? Is that the reason for the mustache? Why is he even there? GASP! Are they already remaking High School Musical (because you know that’s in the works…) with him starring as Troy again?!? #prayerhands

Why exactly is Naomi Campbell at the Golden Globes, must less in a piece from the never-to-be-seen sketches Vivienne Westwood did for Guy Richie’s new pandering remake starring Madonna as Herlock Holmes?

Lily James- You are gorgeous perfection and I mean that because anyone that stars in a live action Disney remake is automatically on my shit list (I’m looking at you, Emmas Stone and Watson…) but what the actual hell are you wearing? You look like a Project Runway contestant’s submission on the theme “Maleficent’s entrance to the party.”

Octavia Spencer looks like the teacher who got to play Glinda’s role in a #metoo fundraising, high school production of Wicked after the lead was stricken with mono.

Greta Gerwig- I’m tempted to allow it, but only if you’re intentionally channeling Marchesa Luisa Casati.

Angelina Jolie- oh. my. god. I know I’m biased (as one of her long lost, adopted children she’s never acknowledged or heard of) but I cannot say one bad thing about this, especially since I’ve been in 100% Bombshell  Manual mode lately and anything with feathers or frills or femininity is giving me LIFE. #bestdressed

Elizabeth Moss: from Polly to Pollyana. Anyone that gets that is my lifelong friend and anyone that doesn’t please never talk to me again. But seriously honey, that waistline is not your friend.

Jessica Chastain- I think I love everything about this but am i crazy or does it make her look a little bulky? Tell me I’m crazy. I’m crazy. (Narrator: She was definitely crazy.)

omg Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing the same Castle Greyskull, droopy-sleeve of wizard-vagine garment as Debra Messing! Is this a thing?? Gross. And those earrings are stupid too but I don’t know why.

Emilia Clarke is perfection (minus the bow but moving on) and I don’t even love GOT.

Geena Davis stole one of CZJ’S costumes from Chicago and i can’t say that I’m angry. I will say that I’m angry that the head designer at LOFT got hold of it and added a few of those filthy lace panels before she walked the red carpet, but since she still looks pretty flawless…I’LL ALLOW IT.

As always, Lena Headey looks like the drunk, badass aunt who was a groupie before falling into acting so I love her even more than when she gets drunk and sets people on fire on tv. The dress does look like something a goth would make to wear to a Renaissance fair, but who cares when she looks that cool in it?

I love Margot Robbie more than almost anyone in Hollywood today (even though she stole my life’s dream of playing Tonya Harding. Seriously, I’d started writing a short right before they announced that movie and I’m not even kidding), but I can’t say i know exactly what she was going for with this look… an Elsa-possessed mistletoe over her womb to subtly announce she’s expecting? A tribute to the portion of Fantasia where fairies ice skate to ‘Waltz of the Flowers’ as a nod to the ice goddess she plays in ‘I, Tonya?’ I’ve been staring at it for a few minutes now and can honestly say I have no clue.

Gwendolyn Christie- I have no idea what you are wearing but I do know that I am obsessed with your GOT character so you have my permission to do whatever you please.

Kerry Washington unfortunately looks like some anorexic basic at her junior prom. And those floral net booties are what a leprechaun wears to a funeral. wtf. Oh but her hair is on point.

Kate Hudson- Je refuse.

Chris Hemsworth can do no wrong even in a suit made from a brocade table cloth and VELVETEEN shoes so don’t even worry about it, honey.

Michelle Pfeiffer- omg i am heartbroken over how matronly you look!! As anyone who knows me knows, my mother could pass as your identical twin, so I take it kind of personally when you show up on the red carpet dressed as Marian the librarian’s widowed sister, Ovarian.

Zoe Kravtiz- Sweetie, it’s already been done and its name was Natalie Portman. A chunky, funky  emerald earring does make you look like Audrey Hepburn's edgy cousin though. Whatever- you still look gorgeous and I love you.

Kendall Jenner- There are so many things wrong with your look, much less your existence, but I’ll just sum it up with this: T. STRAPPED. POINTY. TOED. SHOES. Also, lay off the brow botox before you look like Debra Messing, or worse, Kylie Jenner. #gasp

Sarah Jessica Parker literally went as her character from Hocus Pocus attending a funeral.

Isabelle Huppert wins the night! Nope, spoke too soon. Her dress has those damned flutter sleeves on it too! What IS that? It’s trash, is what it is…

Roseanne Barr forgot to put a dress over her Spanx…

Ok, that's all I got. I barely watched any of the actual show bc I can't with most of those self important a-holes, so I can't comment on anything "exciting" or "interesting" that might have happened. Let me know if I missed anything highly offensive🥂

[mystlnewsonline]

New Post has been published on https://www.stl.news/jesmyn-ward-masha-gessen-among-nominees-for-critics-awards/72007/

Jesmyn Ward, Masha Gessen among nominees for critics awards

NEW YORK/January 22, 2018(AP)(STL.News)— Jesmyn Ward’s “Sing, Unburied, Sing,” winner of the National Book Award for fiction, is now a nominee for the National Book Critics Circle prize.

Other finalists announced Monday include Mohsin Hamid’s “Exit West” for fiction, Roxane Gay’s “Hunger” for autobiography and Masha Gessen’s “The Future is History,” winner of the National Book Award for nonfiction. The celebrated author-journalist John McPhee will receive a lifetime achievement award and Carmen Maria Machado, author of the story collection “Her Body and Other Parties,” will be honored for best debut book. The author-critic Charles Finch will receive a citation for “excellence in reviewing.”

The critics circle chose five nominees in each of six competitive categories: fiction, nonfiction, autobiography, biography, poetry and criticism. Winners will be announced March 15.

Fiction nominees besides Ward’s haunting story of family and race in the American South include Mohsin Hamid’s best-selling tale of young lovers who become refugees, “Exit West”; Alice McDermott’s “The Ninth Hour”; Joan Silber’s “Improvement” and Arundhati Roy’s “The Ministry of Utmost Happiness,” her first novel since winning the Booker Prize in 1997 for “The God of Small of Things.”

Besides Gessen, nonfiction nominees were Jack E. Davis for “Gulf: The Making of An American Sea,” Frances FitzGerald for “The Evangelicals: The Struggle to Shape America,” Kapka Kassabova for “Border: A Journey to the Edge of Europe” and Adam Rutherford for “A Brief History of Everyone Who Ever Lived: The Human Story Retold Through Our Genes.” In biography, the finalists were Caroline Fraser’s “Prairie Fires,” Edmund Gordon’s “The Invention of Angela Carter: A Biography,” Howard Markel’s “The Kelloggs: The Battling Brothers of Battle Creek,” William Taubman’s “Gorbachev: His Life and Times” and Kenneth Whyte’s “Hoover: An Extraordinary Life in Extraordinary Times.”

Autobiography finalists besides Gay’s “Hunger” were Thi Bui’s “An Illustrated Memoir,” Henry Marsh’s “Admissions: Life as a Brain Surgeon,” Ludmilla Petrushevskay’s “The Girl from the Metropol Hotel: Growing Up in Communist Russia” and Xiaolu Guo’s “Nine Continents: A Memoir In and Out of China.” In poetry, the nominees were Nuar Alsadir for “Fourth Person Singular,” James Longenbach for “Earthling,” Layli Long Soldier for “Whereas,” Frank Ormsby for “The Darkness of Snow” and Ana Ristovic for “Directions for Use.”

Edwidge Danticat, a prize-winning novelist and memoir writing, is a finalist in criticism for “The Art of Death: Writing the Final Story.” The poet Kevin Young is also a criticism nominee for “Bunk: The Rise of Hoaxes, Humbug, Plagiarists, Phonies, Post-Facts, and Fake News.” The others cited were Carina Chocano for “You Play the Girl: On Playboy Bunnies, Stepford Wives, Train Wrecks, & Other Mixed Messages,” Camille T. Dungy for “Guidebook to Relative Strangers: Journeys into Race, Motherhood, and History” and Valeria Luiselli for “Tell Me How it Ends.”

The National Book Critics Circle, founded in 1974, is comprised of around 1,000 critics and book review editors.

By Associated Press, published on STL.NEWS by St. Louis Media, LLC (TM)