#bullshit like i'm aro and bi and trans because then i don't have to confront the truth of the world???

[girlscience]

i fear i made a mistake. i got tinder right? cause my sister did and we were messing around and i was like "might be fun 🤪" and then i started talking to some people on there and it was all nice and fun. i was talking a lot about anime and video games and things... but one person asked what i wanted out of tinder i said i didn't know and they said they wanted a relationship and i was like "idk i'd try it" and i've also started talking to someone else on snapchat and they are clearly flirting with me and someone else asked to hang out irl and i'm uhhhhhh. i don't want this. why the fuck did i do this. i am experiencing so much anxiety.

first how many people should i be talking to??? cause it feels like this is too many at one time but i started talking to all of them at the same time and they all seem cool so what was i supposed to do? just pick one and stop talking to the others? that feels shitty, but also. it feels like i'm doing some shit behind their backs by still talking to other people because like there's the expectation they are looking for someone to date and so i'm like cheating? even tho i haven't met any of them or agreed to any sort of relationship with any of them????

second sort of forgot i was aromantic there for a second 😅 but uhhhh largely do not want a romantic relationship and the idea of meeting any of these people outside of the context of friendship does not feel great! also 2 of them live several hours away from me and like i know it's a huge leap, but if i did end up in a relationship with either of them i'm not moving away from my job so like if it got really serious that would suck. going to my cousins bridal shower really just reminded me how much i do Not want to fucking do that... so there's also that. marriage is often The Point of romance so if that's something the other person would want i would just be disappointing them.

third... i don't know what the fuck i should do now. i mean i know i should tell them i don't want anything besides friendship, sorry for wasting your time if that's not what you wanted... but that's so stressful because it feels mean. which like i've never met them so like i shouldn't care but it's so hard for me to prioritize my own feelings even over what i just theorize they might feel. and like how the fuck do i bring it up??? lol "heyy forgot i don't like romance and talking to you is stressing me out now! can we just be friends or stop talking to each other🤪" like eeeehhhhhhhggggg.