#bughead ultrafail episode

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S3 E9

- I’m surprised and grateful for the time they’ve taken to show Veronica and Reggie growing closer and developing an attachment.   Reggie getting intimate with Veronica somehow highlights how tiny and doll-like Veronica is in a way that Archie doesn’t (even though the two boys are of similar size).   Smart fancy alpha girl with big inarticulate bruiser is a match up I love, and they do it so well here. The necklace she wears to serenade Reggie is perfect, and the look of  appreciation for the amazing Veronica that Reggie gives her in response is delightful.

- First Veggie kiss is blistering hot. Reggie gets beat up making a beer run, and he tells Veronica she's a badass. Specifically, he asks if anyone has ever told her she’s a badass and NO, Archie HAS NOT.  I really really want Reggie to make a move for Veggie in S5 or 6. Maybe his thing with Fangs was an attempt to get V’s attention?  I wish. 

- Jughead v Veronica!  The way Veronica says about Jughead and Cheryl, “Aren’t you her [quick swallow of vomit] King??’ with sarcastic finger quotation  marks that’s so dismissive she uses just the one hand is fantastic. It also looks inadvertently just like the ultra stupid Serpent’s Pledge hand sign for extra credit. I need to find this gif.  Jughead may have made Veronica stand as a power move, but then she ends up towering over him in this overbearing way, and he has no choice but to look away, lean back, and take the conversation around to Hiram, Veronica’s only weakness.  

- The high school me would have died for grungy hipster Jughead, with headphones and the I don’t care except when I do hair peeking out just so under the hat, moodily swaggering along the high school hallway. (I’m so sad and yet so grateful that nobody of any gender was like this at that time in my vicinity).

source: @bugheadfamily

- Jughead narrates the Choni celebration after a successful burglary.  Jughead rarely (never?) narrates Veronica, so the reason he has this ability to talk about Choni has to be because of Toni. Jughead wants to and likes to think about Toni in bed with anybody.  And golly the narration delivery is so over the top, because Jughead is doing Great Gatsby, because Prohibition came after Spanish Influenza (and Jughead pays attention in History??) 

- Regular sleepovers at the Coopers is now a thing for Bughead. These two are totally married and glowing in the orange lighting saved for good safe spaces on this show.

- Archie gets mauled by the world's most light footed bear and his fucking dog is useless. i was first like... Riverdale wtf is this but now I'm wincing at the horrible injuries.

- Jughead the Serpent King Just Says No, while on a throne-like chair. OK but everyone is still living in tents while he shacks up with Betty at Coopers. Is he dating her for the house.  Also threatening that Gargoyle Gang member - both FP and Jughead seem to feel really elated and like things went really well, but I don’t think they did, at all.  And really, Jughead totally fumbled the Choni banning because if not for Cheryl’s essential goodness and sensitivity, he would’ve been out the two smartest Serpents, the Glamerge egg and the deal with Veronica. 

- Also Betty at any Serpent thing fills me with RAGE, on two fronts. She should not be there, and Betty is not a stupid girl but she looks so weak and dumb blinking winsomely at her man being a failure of a leader.  Get outta here.  Further, it serves no function! Toni looks pissed throughout. Since the Serpents are established in-universe as originating in a POC community, having blonde blue eyed Betty there, where she does not belong nor contribute, looks horrendous. 

-Very gratifying to see Cheryl and Fangs immediately respond to Jughead’s pontificating with, What Do We Live On and also Where Were You and Jughead having no response.  And Jughead insisting on having frikkin Betty at these meetings but having zero qualms about kicking out Choni because these two are smart enough to show him up, and rehiring Fangs after fake-firing him because what, he’s a boy? Wow Jughead, you self serving nitwit.  Did Sweet Pea threaten Jughead?  I hope so.

- Riverdale uses colored lights to tell when things are a good or bad idea - a blue-green light means Bad, an orange-peachy light means good.  So when Jughead decides to overlook Fang’s drug dealing for his mom’s medical bills, he’s in BLUE light, and Fangs, weeping and contrite, is in orange peach light, while both are in the same room.  

- Cheryl leaves a big kiss mark on Hiram’s portrait after she cases his joint. Cheryl’s power to terrorize middle aged men with her sexuality is unusual and fascinating. 

- Dumbass Betty rescuing the kids because of her Savior Valedictorian of  The World Complex and her only plan is to bring them to Riverdale/ MurderTown. She then insists on burdening her whole community with her stupid idea, and does this without even checking in with her round-the-bend mother, at all, and losing all those kids to the Farm.  Bughead are compatible because they’re both failures at being leaders. 

- Whatever the heck is happening in Archie’s fever dream only goes to show that the boy has zero imagination. Even his hallucinations are completely reality bound.

- In addition to the long shadow of Abu Ghraib, the other thing that TV shows keep addressing is American Medical System fail.  The idea of someone having to commit crime or file bankruptcy because of illness does not recur with this much frequency and intensity in TV shows made in countries with universal healthcare.