#bughead guitar

[edgarsabandonedrocketship]

Three Days of So-Called Peace, Love, and Music. Or, How We Came to Loathe Camping

In honor of the 24th anniversary week of Woodstock ‘99, here’s a little something for you readers out there!

Chapter 15: Pain Lies on the Riverside.

As conditions continue to deteriorate, a legendary musician tries valiantly to destroy his guitar. Later on, Bughead resume their sleuthing at the campsite. There’s also an amazing scene involving hats courtesy of my wonderful co-author, @middleagedresidentofriverdale. 

Start from the beginning here.

[i-know-you-can]

It will be so good to see you all having a breakdown over the amazing content that BA is getting from 714 to 720 ( window duet, love confession, prom as couple in 715, jalopy car scene, scene with Archie's mom, Archie playing guitar for Betty, another window scene and their wedding... and so much more)

If you haven't noticed, and I'm sure you have by stalking us, most bughead fans don't really care for the show anymore. So if anyone can have a breakdown it's you, not us. We stopped caring a long time ago.

[lonesomedotmp3]

16, 18, 25, and whatever other question you wanted to answer for whatever fandom feels right <3

hi again beth :) ur literally 2/3 of these asks and the only one I can count on ily...

16 - you can't understand why so many people like this thing

edit realising I literally left this one blank that's so embarrassing... anyway I'm about to go to bed so cop out answer jj outer banks....

18 - it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on

vaughn from community he's my favourite side character. I know he's terrible. and I enjoy it. we should be talking about him all the time. I think him swinging his guitar cord around is one of the funniest bits of the show that man was ACTING!

25 - common fandom complaint you're sick of hearing

ON THE SUBJECT OF COMMUNITY. stop fucking complaining about pierce!! we know! the show knows! the show is about bad people! and like he's explicitly the fucking antagonist half the time (dnd episode, bequeathing ep, paintball s2 part one, etc) because a story NEEDS an antagonist to cause conflict and obstacles for our characters to overcome. 'community would be so much better without pierce' NO IT WOULDN'T BE! who would present the haunting mirror of who jeff could one day become if he stays selfish and cynical? who would be proof that even the worst of us have humanity and it's always about choosing to be good? who would deliver the line I don't know why gay is an insult these people are alright!!! like yes he sucks but stop acting like that's a flaw of the show and not deliberate for his character. I was madder about this than I thought I would be. it's literally so annoying though like sir this is the finding the humanity in terrible people show...

anything u like- SO GLAD U SAID THIS BECAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED THIS INSANE BUGHEAD GIF I SCREENSHOTTED... so fucking number 3 worst take I've seen on tumblr (not the worst by FAR just one I haven't already posted on here)

it's soooooo funny.... imagine ur take away from the jughead 50s heterosexuality NIGHTMARE being omg they're so in love 😍 babe this is a gif we can SEE his face... his ass is not experiencing wonder....

and while on my gallery I also found this I never posted. I hate this stupid fucking take that the best thing is for MORE kids to work in the industry, Actually. shut up!!!

[sherlollyandspoilers]

A taste of home

So, I missed Bughead Appreciation week ( @bugheadcentral ) but here is the start to my first ever Bughead fic - its a coffee shop au. Hope you enjoy!

Betty Cooper has always loved the idea of having a coffee shop, so instead of heading off to college like all of her classmates, she used her tuition money to open a café. With summer just around the corner, all of her college workers are headed home and she is in desperate need of a new employee. Jughead Jones has left home for the first time and is struggling to finish his book. On his own, he is in need of an easy job to help him stay on his feet while he sorts out the mess that is his manuscript.

Betty can't help but get wrapped up in the enigma of who Jughead is, all the while dealing with her own darkness that she thought she had dealt with years ago.

Chapter One

“Wait, what?” Betty snapped her attention to the conversation happening in front of her. “You’re not going to be here this summer?”

“I know I said that I would help out at the shop, but it’s the summer before my senior year and I want to have some fun!” Polly bounced as she talked.

“You’re acting like this is your senior year of high school all over again…you’re going to be graduating with your bachelors soon, getting a real job…you can’t just go gallivanting off acting like a teenager!” Betty threw her hands out in frustration.

“I would say you sound like mom right now, but she seems happy for me.” Polly gestured across the table.

“I am happy for you.” Alice smiled. “Betty, your sister is intitled to a little fun after all of the hard work she has put in.”

Betty huffed and crossed her arms. What was she going to do now? All of her regular help was heading home for the summer and Polly had been her only backup.

“Betty, be happy for me – I found someone who really cares for me.” Polly leaned across the table, placing her hand on Betty’s arm.

“I am happy for you,” she sighed in resignation and grabbed Polly’s hand, squeezing it. “I can tell Jason really makes you happy.”

“He does!” She smiled brightly. Betty tried to smile back at her, but her concern took over and she knew it came off as more of a grimace. “What?”

“Its just…” her eyebrows pinched in concern, “Poll, are you sure you want to go back to Riverdale?”

“I’ll be fine, Betty.” Polly rolled her eyes and turned her attention to her mom, making plans for the trip.

Betty ignored them both and started working around in her head how she was going to run a coffee shop with only two employees, one of which was only available part time.

That night at dinner with Archie and Veronica, she shared her frustrations and concerns. The café had been open for less than two years; she knew they were still making their impression on the city and was worried how something like this was going to affect that.

“Don’t worry Betty! I know the perfect person to help you out!” Archie beamed at her.

--

Betty stood behind the counter and clicked her tongue as she looked at the man who was sitting in a booth, waiting to be interviewed. He had a flannel tied around his waist and wore a leather jacket, with his hair messily tucked into a beanie.

She raised an eyebrow after staring at him a moment longer and turned to Archie. “Why would someone like him want to work at a coffee shop?”

Archie smirked and shook his head. “Listen, I’ve known Jughead – ”

“Jughead?” she asked skeptically.

“I’ve known him for a long time…he’s just looking for something to help him get by for a few months. He’s a good guy and the hard biker exterior is not an honest reflection.” He picked up his mostly cold coffee and threw back the rest. “I’ve got to get going.” He stood up and slid his jacket on. “Just, give him a chance, will you?”

Betty sighed and looked at him, slightly exasperated, before finally nodding. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Thanks!” Archie grinned as he picked up his guitar case and walked over to the man. “Jug – dinner?”

“Yeah, seven o’clock, right?” Jug reached out his hand and Archie slapped.

Archie nodded, “See ya then!” And then he was out the door and the man, Jughead, was looking at her.

She sighed and straightened her apron before walking around the counter.

“Betty Cooper, I presume,” he said, giving her a very self-assured smile.

“Jughead?” she asked, sitting down in the booth across from him.

“Last name’s Jones.” He held his hand out to her.

She looked at his hand and slowly reached up to shake it. “Jughead your legal first name?”

“I never reveal my secret identity on a first date.” He winked.

Betty scoffed, “This is far from a date.”

“You never know.” His smile turned into a very self-satisfied grin.  

She shook her head, smiling, and relaxed back into the booth. “So, any experience working in a café?”

“Does spending a lot of time in coffee shops drinking a ton of caffeine count?” he asked with sarcastic wondering.

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling again, annoyed that his sarcastic charm was working on her so quickly.

“Sorry,” he chuckled quietly before sighing. “Uhh, no. I’ve never worked at a café before, but I am a quick study and a hard worker.”

She nodded. “Are you currently working?”

“Not at the moment.” He shifted in his seat.

“Where did you work last?”

“I’ve done some odd jobs here or there…” He shifted in his seat again, this time seeming uncomfortable. “Uhh, Archie didn’t tell you much about me, did he?”  

She squinted at him. “What do you mean?”

Jughead shook his head. “Nothing…listen, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t sound great on paper, but I promise that in real life, I’m worth the chance.”

Betty leaned forward and crossed her arms on the table. “Alright, Jones,” she said after a moment as she stood up, “show me what you got.”

--

Betty was pleasantly surprised to see just how quickly Jughead caught on. Sure, he needed to be shown the basics, such as where the coffee grounds were and which blender you had to hold the lid down on if you didn’t want the drink to go everywhere, but after watching her make a drink once he was able to reproduce it quickly. He was also ridiculously good with the customers.

“Have a good day.” He waved to a smiling older couple as they left.

Betty leaned on the counter next to him, “I have never seen either of them smile before.”

“Some people just have the magic touch.” He smirked at her and started cleaning the counter.

Smiling to herself she straightened up and watched him clean a moment longer. “Well,” she said as she put her hands on her hips, “I guess if I want you to keep showing up to work, I should probably make sure you get paid.” Jug looked at her, an eyebrow raised. “The jobs yours if you want it.” She held out her hand.

“Sold!” He grinned and shook her hand tightly.

She giggled quietly and shook her head. “Katy will help you get all the paperwork filled out.”

--

The first week of the university’s summer break was slow. There were no classes for students to rush to, no exams to stay up late studying for, and no term papers that required hours of work. When this happened the year before, Betty had been nervous. They opened just as classes were starting and business came steadily but as soon as summer break was upon them, the customers dropped off. But by the next week, the locals seemed to have emerged from their hiding places during the semester and they were back up and running as usual.

This year she took the time to do inventory, make minor repairs that had only been slightly inconvenient (but left for much longer could have been disastrous), and get to know Jughead Jones. She realized Archie had been right when he said that the biker cliché was not a reflection of who Jug really was. He always seemed to be filling the quiet space that had developed at the lack of college students and she quickly realized that he was funny, sarcastic, and kind.

As business started to pick back up, Betty also got to see a different side of Jug, the serious, pensive, and sometimes incredibly self-deprecating side that would appear when the café was full, and he thought no one was looking. It made her wonder if the space that he filled when it was quiet was fueled by something deeper than wanting to make her laugh.  

He told her about his dad and his drinking problem when Jug was younger but that he had turned his act around and got sober to keep their family together. He had shared with her that despite his dad’s change his mom ended up leaving anyways. He explained that she had tried to take his sister, Jellybean, with her but that his dad took her to court and got full custody of them both, which was for the best as his mom ran off and started running drugs. He told her about the South Side Serpents and how as king, his dad had turned them around, setting them straight and making sure they weren’t dealing in anything “too illegal”.

“Wait a minute!” she interrupted by grabbing his forearm. “South Side Serpents…as in Riverdale’s Serpents?”

“You know of any other Serpents?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, a smug look on his face.

She stared at him a moment longer, realization finally dawning on her.

“Oh my gosh! You’re Forsythe!” She tossed her hands up in triumph, wondering why he had always seemed familiar to her.

“I was wondering how long it was going to take you to put all the pieces together!” he laughed.

“Wait!” She cocked her head and put her hands on her hips, “Did you tell Archie not to say anything?”

“Possibly.” He smirked. “I figured you would eventually get there.”

He told her about his novel that he was working on and that he had spent the time since graduating high school working on it. He had taken a few English and Writing courses over the last two years, but none of them seemed to make much of a difference for him. He explained that he had been working on this book since he was a freshman and had started sending it to publishers at his dad’s urging, but they all told him the same thing: “This is fantastic! But the ending is just missing something…you fix that ending and you’ve got yourself a deal!” But for the last six months, he hadn’t been able to come up with anything new.

“Which is how I ended up here.” He gestured around the coffee shop. “I helped my dad run the serpents when I graduated, and we did a lot of good around Riverdale. He appreciated the help and supported me with my writing the whole time…but after my last rejection letter” he leaned on the counter, looking slightly ashamed, “I uhh, I started sleeping a lot and staying at home all the time. He told me I needed a change of pace, just to see if anything shakes loose.” He threw his voice, imitating his father. “When I told Arch he said I could stay with him over the summer.”

“Can I read it?” she asked hopefully, a strong desire to consume his written words blooming in her chest.

“Uhh, no.” He shook his head and straightened up, grabbing a rag to go wipe down the booths.

“And why not?” She followed him. “A different perspective could help.”

“The only other people to have read my book so far have told me that the ending is trash…I think I will pass on the judgement from my boss, thanks,” he snarked. “Besides, I’ve been pouring my heart out over here, telling you my life story with no reciprocation.”

She looked at him for a moment thinking. Most people who knew the story behind her life usually ended up putting distance between them and her, running away, afraid of what she might do. But then again, Jug had lived in Riverdale, there was no way he didn’t already know her family’s past. So, she told him.

She shared that up till she was 8 years old, she thought her family was perfectly normal. That her parents were perfectly normal, that her sister was perfectly normal, that she was perfectly normal. That was until her mom found her dad with a dead body stuffed in the trunk of their car. Her mom had taken her and Polly to see a movie, but her sister ended up getting sick not even five minutes into the previews and they had to go home. She told him that she remembered the look of pure terror on her father’s face when they pulled into the garage and that he had become furious with them for being home early and ushered them inside quickly.

She recounted her experience of her father’s arrest and how scared she and Polly had been. It wasn’t until the next day that her mother sat them down and explained what he had been doing. Over the next few months as the investigation went on, it was revealed that he had killed four other people as well. Once that news broke, her mother had packed them up quickly and left Riverdale.

“I was at Archie’s house that day, when you guys left.” He looked up at her. “I remember thinking that it wasn’t fair that you guys had to leave just because of what your dad had done.

Betty shrugged. “Moving wasn’t all that bad.” She smiled remembering the years after the move. “The three of us got really close actually…I always wonder how things between us would have changed had dad still been in our lives.”

“I don’t want to think what could have happened to you had he been there.” His voice was low and his eyes dark, sparking something inside of her that she tried to ignore.

“Yea,” she turned away, “maybe you’re right.”

She was surprised to find herself so easily telling him about her father’s death and how it had affected her. She had been 15 when he was stabbed by another inmate, and it had hit her hard…so hard that her mother ended up taking her to therapy after finding scars from her nails on her palms.

“JB and I went to therapy for a short time after my parents split…I liked it.” He gave her an understanding smile and for the first time Betty was actually glad she had shared this with someone.

[askandsmile]

hey, you said "RAS best writing to date remain 401 and 503." and i'm curious: would you expand on that? what did you like about those episodes? what were the highlights for you?

401 was hands-down the best written episode of the show. the way it was constructed was just beautiful. it dealt with the cast heartbreak over luke but it was a realistic, in character tale. the core four was at its prime there, before the heartbreak and the betrayal. jughead and archie showcased that bond that only they had. betty and veronica, "archie's girls", being the ones to take the pain of seeing fred so he wouldn't feel more pain. the way it showed how supportive that group of friends could be. the way they all rallied around archie in that difficult time. jughead writing fred's eulogy. everything about that episode was heartbreaking but also realistic, well-constructed, and respectful. i don't rewatch it often, but i hold it dear to my heart. that scene of varchie driving fred's body back and all that parade for a man with a good heart, while betty had to clean her father's dipedrated stone and mourn alone because her father was a bad man? that was A+ writing and character vision. you felt for everyone involved.

503 for me was also a great episode because, save whatever plot they had to wrap up, the parallels drawn from their pilot selves to their graudation selves were all SO good, and all on different povs. archie was a kid with a guitar and dreams, and all the things that happened to him put him in a lost path; veronica not putting those pearls around her neck; cheryl grieving jason and being selfless over toni. even the bughead breakup, for me, was so interesting to watch because you felt it, the way it broke jughead's heart and how in the end it was him that couldn't deal with it. varchie was an entire collapse of it's own, some of their best content in the show. archie's goodbye sequence? that again showcased how those four people loved each other so much despite everything. archie being their glue. jughead not feeling at home at the cooper's without betty so moving to the only other home he's ever known, archie's empty house? UGH the way it was written set them out to such a great potential time jump storyline.

anyway, those episodes for me are the best writing RAS has ever done, and it's sad that the finale didn't come even close. i love 605 for the plot, though!

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From Archie #2 (2015).

[thetaoofbetty]

welp, i'm loopy on muscle relaxers so it's either the best time to write bughead or the worst

if betty keeps calling him nughead, you'll know which way it went

[jugheadthelesbian]

my core four headcannons lol

tw: mentioned ed, mentioned intrusive thoughts, trauma, and internalized homophobia

archie:

good and sporty boy bi.

works out when he’s stressed.

shadow boxes as a stim.

he has a hard time eating and will work himself to the point of exhaustion bc of his time in prison.

he used to play guitar all the time but now he has trouble remembering it all.

he/him and didn’t really understand pronouns until jughead and veronica explained them to him.

he doesn’t cry easily and you can tell how mad he is if he cries.

hiram gave both him and vee horrible body issues.

he’s neurodivergent, probably ADD or ADHD.

has such a hard time with tone, bless his soul.

everyone thought he was the token straight friend of the group before he and jug dated.

he’s had a crush on jughead since they were kids.

came out to his dad right before his dad died.

jughead:

sad and poetic ace/gay.(he's canonically ace in the comics so i need that rep)

has a tumbler called yesihadanmcrphase and cheryl follows it but doesn’t know it’s him.

he wishes he wrote happy stories.

has horrible intrusive thoughts all the time.

really bad at showing emotions(has kanner’s syndrome).

he has ocd and kanner’s syndrome(which is under the autism spectrum) but was never treated for either up until fp got a stable job as the sheriff.

has always liked men and had a crush on archie(that is why his mom thought they were dating).

cries himself to sleep at night and has horrible night terrors.

secretly obsessed with harry styles and taylor swift lol.

he/they but doesn’t really care.

read a lot of lemony snicket books as a kid.

came out to his parents when he was like eight but didn’t come out to archie until junior year.

betty has known since eighth grade.

veronica guessed it.

betty:

preppy lesbian who likes nancy drew a little too much.

she has high masking BPD that was mistaken for psychosis disorder.

blames herself for what happened with the black hood and couldn’t look anyone in the eye after it was revealed to be her dad.

she loves true crime documentaries and the board game clue.

used to pray to be normal bc she grew up thinking liking girls was bad and that your brain shouldn’t work differently than others.

she got over that and jughead was the first person she came out to(polly was the next person).

she doesn’t know how to reject men so she just pretended her and jug were dating and now everyone thinks they are.

hates when people refer to them as #bughead bc she’s her own person.

she/her but doesn’t mind they/them.

penelope scott

veronica:

mafia queen bi girlboss.

really likes playing poker but their dad didn’t let her play it as a kid bc they’re a girl.

really hates being alone and likes being around people.

physical touch is their love language.

has body issues and anxiety from living with her dad and all the problems he caused.

really good at manipulating but also really easy to manipulate.

has depression but doesn’t talk ab it and prefers to act like everything is fine.

pronouns are they/she and their parents don’t know she’s bi or demigirl.

[just-a-littlebit-of-everything]

The only thing that really bothers me in Riverdale is how there is no guitar with Josie and the Pussycats.

A keyboard can only make so many sounds.

[lucivar]

For the ask game, if it tickles your fancy: 003 for Jughead’s Gentlemen Suitors: Malachai, Bret Weston Wallis, Sweet Pea, Reggie Mantle and Archie Andrews

003 | send me 5 characters and I will rank them in order of preference

Ajkasjkahak I LOVE THIS ASK. THANK YOU for making me think about the guys who are obsessed with Jughead. He's just so goddamn shippable. I am going to take a few liberties with this ask and instead comment on: what type of relationship they would have and a few head canons about them. I will also add Dilton, because I love him and this is lowkey my fav queer Jughead ship.

Continue reading under the cut.

Thank you so much for playing! Feel free to ask me questions from this list

Relationship type: A Kiss with a Fist is better than none (or the enemies to lovers trope)

Malachi: Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Riverdale, where we lay our scene. From ancient grudge (house of the dead vs house of the snake) break to new mutiny (jingle jangle, Penny’s evil milf ways, the fact that Gladys would never accept Malachi into the Joneses), where civil blood (Hiram Lodge threatening to tear their love apart, Mayor McCoy’s vendetta) makes (un)civil hands (our enemy-to-lovers Romeo and Juliet heroes) unclean. Look, this ship is perfect, I have only good things to say. Malachi just wants Jughead to sneak around behind Penny’s back, come visit him at the house of the dead so that they can do some Jingle Jangle, light some candles and do each other’s make up. He likes to fluster Jughead by showing up to places without his shirt and calling him babe. Their love would bring fair Riverdale to its knees, and reunite the Southside so that nature can heal <3

Bret: Obnoxious prep school hate-sex we all need. Both kids obviously have some SERIOUS DADDY ISSUES, which means that they are going to light up the other one’s psycho sexual insecurities. In addition, Bret has a poor/rich and a denial (possibly a degradation) kink, so he loves Jughead. For gifts, Bret writes himself self-insert fanfiction for Jughead and leaves it around for him to find, then gets off on Jughead’s disgust. He also brings Jughead river rocks as mementos. <3

Sweet Pea: ANOTHER ENEMIES TO LOVERS. Wow, does the sweet, sad, soft boi of the Southside have a type or WHAT? Evidently, Sweet Pea was très jaloux of Toni when Jughead was spending so much time with her when he moved to Southside High because he kept showing up and making comments about it, pulling Jughead’s pigtails. He also hit Jughead with his precious knuckle-dusters, which he polished especially for the occasion. Like Betty, he wanted Jughead to study more in senior year and he is annoyed at FP for being a shit dad to Jughead. He and JB text a lot on Jughead updates. In fact, there is a Serpent group chat where Jughead is not included so they can speculate on his whereabouts. Sweet Pea was also jealous of the attention Jughead gave Archie for his music playing, so picked up an electric guitar to show that he is the infinitely better choice.

Relationship type: Bros are Hos ;) (or the jock/nerd trope)

Reggie: So when Jughead learnt that Reggie COULDN’T spell necrophilia, he offered to tutor him, a suggestion that earned him a shoulder to the chest from Reggie (look, Reg could fit into the top category as well). Reggie knows that Jughead’s language of love is matching (we’ve seen bughead wear the same outfit many times), so he grew his mullet as Jughead grew his own hair. He has NO IDEA how to talk to Jughead and basically just chest slaps him as a form of communication. He has considered giving his letterman jacket to Jughead, I am sure.

Archie: Tibby has the best comments on the jarchie longcon, which I adore reading about and their takes are LITERAL PERFECTION. I ALSO ADORE this video and this one by julietophelia. I think Jarchie is the most plausible queer ship for Jughead (despite my adoration for enemies to lovers), and I can imagine them up at all hours of the night writing and boxing respectively, before settling in to video games on the couch and calling each other ‘Sweet Prince’ or ‘Red Paladin’ and ‘Hellcaster’. The would have the nerdiest, sweetest relationship wherein Archie basically wouldn’t realise that he was in a relationship, even after everyone pointed it out. Also Jughead seems to be very forgiving of Archie’s past infidelity, so who knows, he might continue to be?

Relationship type: Have I ascended to queer nerd heaven? (or 'i will kiss thy lips. Haply some blue poison doth yet hang on them')

Dilton: MY LOWKEY FAVOURITE long term queer Jughead relationship because the way they talk to each other! OMG. The OG bunker fuck buddies, sharing Area 51 stories, their obsession with their knives (they could whittle together as old men), their prep/scout uniform fetish, they both love filming things (imagine the porn they would shoot! <3), ancient technology (or, is this just Riverdale technology?). BOTH OF THEM ARE DEATH-WISH-FILLED RECKLESS PSYCHO NERDS. PERFECTION. Dilton stabs and poisons himself (rip, my love) and Jughead finds a new way to get himself murdered every season. Please watch this amazing jilton video. Sad there is not more :(

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E1 (But this is really S4 E20, right?) (Spoilers)

- I have been streaming so I tend to skip the Previously On parts, but this felt important:  This episode opens with a flashback of Veronica asking Archie whether he “felt anything” when he was “pretending to be with Betty” and it cuts immediately to Archie telling Betty he can’t stop thinking about her, to which Betty says it’s over, and then Archie wants to join the Naval Academy.  The show wants me to think that Archie did feel something and he meant it, and the show doesn’t want to think about what any of that meant for Betty.

- The other bits the show wants you to remember before we begin are - Hiram is ‘dying’ (uh huh), and the ‘escalation’ to the Killing Mr Honey videotape by Jellybean (but wait, is it still Jellybean at this point?).

- We open with Bughead having summoned Charles to a remote cabin, and telling him what should be a highly suspicious story.  Jughead says, Hi I wrote a story that describes this enacted murder by the Auteur and only me and Betty know about the story and hey, only me and Betty found the video tape.  Um.  That makes them look like the killers, but ok.  Jughead is now close enough to Charles to tap his shoulder in the way that Jughead does to people he’s intimate with.

- Funny bit - the ticket stubs that they find in the cabin are stamped B &V and to Betty this means Betty and Veronica (? - she says V’s name like a question) because to Betty,  any reference to any B = Betty.

- Veronica has slept over I guess at Archie’s and while he’s out for an early morning run she finds the song that Archie wrote for Betty.  I am impressed with Veronica - that she can understand this guitar chicken scratch that amounts to his ‘song writing.’  (Personal note, I can read music but I’m not a guitarist.) He’s focused on the naval academy and she steals the song sheet from the trash where he’s tossed it.   Veronica gets dinged a lot in terms of how she talks, but I would kind of love a girlfriend who thinks of a new endearment for me every time she sees my face: Archiekins, Teenage Thor.  What’s it like, Archibald Andrews, to be so well loved, HMM??

- Hiram has summoned Veronica home for breakfast. Hiram says he’s beating the disease.  Veronica calls the doctor to confirm, and the doctor confirms.  I’ve seen a S5b promo where Veronica actually asks Hermione if Hiram was ever sick, so I am just gonna note that here. 

- Charles has hauled in the video store owner David, and Jughead and Charles are conferring about what to do with him.  Jughead can never have nice things - he’s built up this warm chemistry with Charles, but of course Charles is play-acting this persona he’s currently presenting.   I like their contrasting character designs, too -  Charles so blonde and manly with his 5 o’clock shadow and suit with tie vs. Jughead’s dark hair and grungy flannels and pink lips, still colored over with boyishness.  They speak in the same tone, almost like they’re imitating/ influencing each other, which is cute.

- And Betty is trying to find out who made the Murdering Mr Honey tape by asking the Principal’s secretary, and hey, Mr Weatherbee is back!  Mr Weatherbee is not ok.  I make it through most nights without waking up screaming.   Kevin (lost an entire organ) and Weatherbee are the two that were the most harmed by the Farm.   Fucking Alice didn’t even lose an ear.

- Two businesses?   Oh wow my bad.  I had not been paying attention to just how much Veronica remade Archie in her own image, to bring him up to a position where he’s on par with her.  She runs two businesses, is doing a sport, studying in school, working on her relationship with her parents - and she’s both inspiring and coaching (and really, halfway carrying through actual financing and other support) Archie to being someone who is also doing all those things. She even acts like his spokesperson for the Naval Academy Commandant - she makes Archie sound impressive, so the man tells Archie (not looking at Veronica) that Archie is impressive.   

But then Veronica (like Hiram?) is someone who is always pushing her luck, going for bigger, so upon hearing that there’s a second candidate who already has been working wholeheartedly to get into the Naval Academy while Archie has been ... well, being Archie, she immediately sets up a bout between Archie and this other guy,  without seeking out any details like how big is the other dude, and this Naval Academy Commandant just is so under her sway that he’s like Eh sure why not.   Veronica is so excited to have any connection to Katy Keene again that she laughs in delight that her boyfriend and Katy’s boyfriend are going to literally fight for a spot at the Academy, and Archie really doesn’t like where this is going.  I don’t blame him. 

- Bughead are eating in the Blue and Gold and talking about what to do next in their investigation about who might be behind the Kill Mr Honey video.  Jughead is thinking about Bret, and says that “the only caveat being, he’s tried to kill me.” Well I mean, OK, so, yes he did, but also, if you hadn’t been such an oblivious lesbian about it we all could’ve had a very different S4, Jughead.

- Choni are talking about Prom Queen.  OK so this show’s idea about how to be a good partner are a bit much: If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.  And this is unilateral, from Toni to Cheryl, because Cheryl has no response to what Toni says right after this: The only royalty I care about is being Serpent Queen.  Then Toni says something fascinating:  Which I will be. Again. You’ll see.  Cheryl is saved from having to respond to this by the appearance of Kevin.

So taking a minute to shriek:  DID JUGHEAD ARBITRARILY TAKE SERPENT QUEEN AWAY FROM TONI TO GIVE IT TO FUCKING BETTY BACK IN THE DAY?  DID BETTY DECIMATE THAT POSITION SO BADLY THAT NOW THEY’VE PUT THE WHOLE EXISTENCE OF A SERPENT QUEEN ON HIATUS?? Sorry. Sorry. I just hated Betty being Serpent Queen so very much. 

- Kevin has lost an entire organ to a cult, so he recognizes mania (from Cheryl, about being prom queen) and walks away when it’s not safe.  Kevin has a such fantastic comic timing and the most eloquent face. 

- Archie is continuing to look both worried and regretful, as Veronica joyfully greets KO Kelly at the Diner after telling him there’s gonna be a bathtub full of rose petals waiting for them after prom in the Five Seasons.   I wasn’t sure what to make of the very ambiguous faces that Archie and KO make during their initial encounter but Veronica takes it as a ‘Boys are Being Rowdy Boys.’   KO immediately points out that Archie might not be in his weight class.   Why has Archie agreed to let this guy live with him??  I really think Archie misses that time he lives with Jughead, no?

-BRET IS HERE. Well Bret is in prison.  Bret is excited to see Forsythe, Jughead has apparently no trauma about talking to Bret, and Betty is super very displeased to be there.  Bret keeps smirking at Betty at the most inapt moments, and I think he’s smirking about what he - ahem - knows about Jughead, because that’s Bret. I love that Bret is still doing his meticulous preppy hair while in prison, and that War Baby, who I pegged as the scariest Serpent, is thought of as this by everyone.  Bret says they need to bring David a tape in order to gain access to the underground screenings.

- KO Kelly is 50 lbs heavier than Archie, and this is Tom Keller’s assessment on sight. So then we have a Look At Two Muscular Young Men Work Out Competitively montage. I mean, thank you, show, I like Beefcake as much as anyone else, but what can this sort of psyching out really get anywhere with someone who’s evidently so much bigger??  Your Ass is Grass, says Archie, and he looks SUPER CUTE.

- Bughead put a plan together in the Blue and Gold.  Betty has entirely, utterly gotten over the Barchie kiss. I really think that she just needed to tick that off her list. She isn’t suppressing anything, it’s a thing she needed to do, like resole an old shoe or something, and it’s none of Jughead’s business as far as she’s concerned.  The two of them sharing one long flow of thought, the Hive Mind of Two Heads, is still very delicious.   I am put in the very uncomfortable position of understanding why Betty would want to ride this forever, for as long as she can, no matter what.  Bughead chemistry is unbeatable and this little bubble they’ve made is so cozy.

- And they bring in Cheryl, using Jason, yet again.  (This might be one of the last times where doing something referencing Jason works on Cheryl).   There is no scene where they ask Reggie, because of course Reggie would say yes to anything which involves him putting on a sex monster outfit and show his abs on camera. I LOVE Reggie.

- Everyone (Varchie, Bughead and KO) are at the Bonne Nuit and Veronica is sweetly singing the song that Archie wrote for Betty.  Archie actually didn’t get to sing very far in the song but the lyrics are literally about getting laid - So, give me tonight.   Archie can look at no one, but the look that Betty gives Archie is homicidal.  How dare you bring this up again sort of a thing.  She looks really scary.  Veronica looks so pretty and in love, singing this song, and the way she has to force Archie to tell her he loves her when they part for the night hurts me.  Oh and KO has a nice easy going sense of humor, and accepts it when  Veronica ribs him about his potentially losing to her boyfriend tomorrow.

-  Choni have a discussion in bed about the fact that Toni does not want to be confrontational about her orientation with her grandparents.  I’ve recently read a thing that discussed how it can actively harm teens from non-accepting families to be constantly told that they HAVE to come out before they’re ready (as in, have a safe place to live) so I wish Cheryl could set aside her own damn feelings for a bit.

- You and Ronnie are in it to win it, Katy says.  Archie is one thing for sure as Jughead has seen it - he is honest. Not in an ethical way, but in a helplessly spew out the truth way.  He feels ruined by Betty like she intended him to, so he wants to keep STARTING OVER COMPLETELY and KO has to point out how weird that sounds from a guy in a long term relationship.  Of course, this thing, of having a dark haired cute boy sleeping on the floor while they talk before falling asleep, is a thing Archie had with Jughead back in the day.  I really like KO Kelly - We lucked out (in terms of women) and Archie just turns the lights out.

- You had me at snuff film.  Kevin goes along with the Bughead plan to sell the videotape to Blue Velvet.

- Grandma Topaz, through grit teeth, going  I will not allow you to date a Blossom.   But Toni lived there for a bit because she had that one uncle who kicked her out.  Where were you then, Grandma Topaz?   And where does your granddaughter live now, Grandma Topaz??

- David the Blue Velvet Video owner not recognizing Kevin or Betty on sight from their respective tapes is  a lie right? I’m basing this just because Tarantino worked in a video store lol.  David’s line deliveries are fabulous.  I get a kick out of the fact that Jughead is nowhere as good as Jellybean at making movies.  His work gets rejected right off the bat, and Betty knew it might not work, so she has a back up - Hal’s tape, the one he showed Alice& Betty.  David somehow is completely turned on by this non-event tape of this kid being talked to sternly by his mother.  A real connoisseur, I suppose?  This gets Bughead entry into the rave/ film festival.

- Betty lets Jughead into the rave by a side door and he comes in looking exactly like Kurtz (RIP Kurtz).  The rave of snuff/secret-sex-cam tapes is intercut with the KO Kelly- Archie boxing match.  Are  Betty and Archie ‘punishing’ themselves?  I mean, Archie is, for sure.  Jughead is extremely anxious and just starts grabbing people to ask them questions he has to know they won’t answer - do you know who the director is?  Jughead has always been more upset about Ponytail Playmate than Betty.  And someone recognizes Betty from the tape in the dark, so Jughead punches him.

- Jughead runs into Jellybean, and honestly, Jellybean is a psycho.  The tone shift in her voice between What are you doing here? and Am I in trouble? is chilling, because she knows how to be vulnerable so as to make Jughead melt.  Bughead take Jellybean out for a milkshake and quietly have  a talk about how she shouldn’t go to any more X rated raves.

- Archie loses the fight to KO Kelly by a vote of the judges (the Commandant had made it very clear that he was on KO’s side from the start) and he is blatantly rude to the Commandant. Veronica is lovely to Archie, exceptionally, and she’s willing to blow off prom to comfort him, and they’re doing this because they’re gonna hurt her at the prom and I WANT TO PROTECT VERONICA.  Goddamn it Archie.

- So it turns out Cheryl tried to force the issue because Choni has severe control issues, and the only thing that brings Cheryl in line is for Toni to hold the precious ‘prom’ over her head.  Oy.

- The prom dresses of all our beautiful Riverdale ladies - Cheryl in red, Toni in the black bedazzled gown, Veronica in her lovely grey ballerina tutu, Betty in the pink gown (has anyone ever looked so angelic in pink?).

- Wow  vs You take my breath away.  So I guess Words of Affirmation isn’t as important to Veronica as Betty.   

- At the prom:  They flashed a photo of Betty looking over  Veronica’s shoulder at Archie as Veronica kisses him, and I don’t know what I was supposed to get out of that.  Reggie spikes the punch with drugs. Bad Reggie!  KO Kelly is at someone else’s prom why?  Kevin proposes a toast to surviving the town.  Where is Ethel?  Who is Reggie’s date?  

- Hiram has asked Archie to be deputy mayor, and Veronica wants to defer Barnard to have more time with Archie.  What an angel.  And she’s got a great perspective - a single year is not that important.  And Archie just can’t take it anymore: 

I wrote that song for Betty.

Oh the pain in Veronica’s perfect madonna face.

- Choni get to be prom queens, and Veronica is holding it together by a single thread. Why are Kevin and Fangs not in the promenade court dance and just the Core (Fractured) Four?   In any case they are interrupted by a snuff tape of the murder of David the video store owner.

- Family is the most important thing.  Cheryl weeps as she lets Toni go home for the night.  

- And Veronica and Archie are in the Archie Andrews Sex Room at the high school.  Veronica is weeping and I want to hit Archie so bad.  They have two weeks of high school left.  No big drama.  No need to blow them up too.   The way that Veronica reacts to betrayal is the same as how Jughead reacts to it later, except... why WHY WHYYY is Archie more ethical than Betty?   Archie holds Veronica but does not attempt any other intimacy. 

- Veronica saves her tears for home, and weeps on her mother’s knee, and Oh I’ve been Veronica and I feel you, girl.  

- Cheryl is weeping on her Nana’s knee.  Tonight I realized Toni and I won’t end up together.  OK Cheryl, you are a fucking brat.  Toni said you could work on it. What are you DOING.

- The SemiSiblings discuss the weird snuff film they saw at Prom, and then Archie gets another tape... and this one is fucking dark. It’s the time Archie had a gun trained on his head by Hal Cooper as the Black Hood.  

[dmux86]

Seeing the Jabitha vs Bughead ship wars heating up... and I have to say...

It just really makes me wish we had gotten anti-social, loner Jughead with self worth, trust, and intimacy issues back after the time skip instead of this pointless sociable, sexually promiscuous, ‘Archie with a typewriter instead of a guitar’ male protagonist that they have Cole playing this season. 

Anyway, watching Godzilla vs Kong, let me know if Betty finally admits Jughead has always only been her backup option or Jughead finally moves into the woods to be a conspiracy theorist like he should have

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarize:

- A lot of trouble and heartache was put into making these characters go their separate ways only to bring them back in the next episode.

- Let’s all agree that Riverdale should NEVER deviate from the fast-paced 15-plots-in-45-minutes format EVER AGAIN.

- Archie dreams Fred’s hallucination from s2, because that’s … possible? Not a single thought about the bear though. I guess bearchie is not endgame.

- Everyone and their mother (that’s Penelope) make an appearance at the graduation.

- But not Frank. Rude, dude.

- If there was ever a time and a place for gratuitous cheerleading routines, surely it was during the graduation? No? No.

- The attempts to hide Vanessa’s pregnancy are hilarious!

- FP decides that it is now his turn to take Jellybean and go to Toledo leaving Jughead behind. I hope this is Jellybean’s villain origin story.

- The characters reminisce over fetich objects (pearl necklace, spider brooch) that they haven’t worn for forever, because the writers think that this is what ‘full circle’ means. It’s not.

-Archie sings a song but then puts his guitar pick in the time capsule, which will ultimately be the reason he will be deployed instead of getting into the Armed Forces Entertainment Department.

-Everyone’s there for Archie, including the Army bus driver.

-Bughead separate in a very subdued but poignant (thanks to the actors) way, thus ensuring my investment in the next episode.

-Riverdale promo, you got me at Clarice!Betty and Kerouac!with!glasses!Jughead!

One down. Sixteen more opportunities for the writers to fuck up. Sigh …

[miss-eee]

A fluffy Bughead drabble for @stonerbughead for Bughead Secret Santa! I have had so much fun getting to know you better, and pestering you with random Christmas questions! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, friend!  There’s something about traditions. Years are spent doing things exactly the same way, never any changes. Until everything changes. And maybe not all at once, maybe it’s slowly over the years, until you look back and realize the traditions you keep now, are so different than the traditions you used to keep. 

For Betty, that meant hiking the woods of Fox Forest in search of the perfect Christmas tree on the day after Thanksgiving, instead of the first of December, because she now lived in New York City. 

For Betty, that meant baking chocolate chip cookies with no walnuts, because FP had an allergy. 

For Betty, that meant hot chocolate on Christmas Eve instead of eggnog, because it had always been her father’s favorite but it turned out, neither her or her mother enjoyed the holiday drink. 

For Betty, that meant celebrating Secret Santa on New Years instead of the Friday before Christmas, because it was the only time all of her friends were able to get together. 

As Betty ran her hands again over the soft white and black plaid cashmere scarf and mitten set gifted to her from her best friend Veronica, her eyes darted over the small group that had gathered at the Pembrooke. 

Her husband, Jughead, hunched over in a chair flipping through the pages of the new true crime novel he’d received. 

Archie, in front of the fireplace stringing the new strings onto his guitar. 

Cheryl and Toni sitting on the floor next to the coffee table decorating a plate of frosted sugar cookies. 

In the corner, Kevin sat next to Joaquin, building a lego set with their son, the only time the rambunctious toddler had sat even remotely still. 

Veronica, almost 8 months pregnant, teetering in from the kitchen carrying a bottle of champagne and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. 

She poured a glass, filling it with champagne before handing it to Betty. 

“No, V. Just the sparkling juice for me. Turns out you and Archie aren’t the only one with some new little traditions coming this next year.”

[bughead-in-the-comics]

From In Search of Sanity, Jughead #287 (1979).

[thetaoofbetty]

when will barchies realise that someone or a ship being vanilla doesn't even mean they're boring/repetitive/whatever, what's not clicking. one of the things that makes bughead not "vanilla" is their common interest in investigating, true crime, murder etc. what does barch*e have? playing guitar and writing songs? wearing matching pink & blue cardigans?🤡

wait. who’s calling bughead vanilla? that’s like the homestyle vanilla calling the vanilla bean vanilla, hahaha. 

(vanilla bean is superior, of course) 

they were just calling bughead toxic because jughead wrote a murder story and archie wrote her a song, i can’t keep up with these moving goalposts.😩

also, did we change the definition of vanilla? is common interests and compatibility now vanilla in their eyes? what is forcing something that won’t work out because of childhood nostalgia then? vanilla extract? 

and listen, if betty had shown any interest in archie’s music past being a supportive friend (aka veronica is the one who is actively invested in his music), i’d give them that. she’s shown none of it though. archie doesn’t care much about investigating past helping betty or jughead when they need it and neither of them care about his music or sports past being a friend. were they unaware of that? i mean...i thought it was clear. 

not to be a dick tho, but like, all riverdale ships are pretty vanilla. it’s a teen show so of course they are. i have a whole list of enemies to lovers ships and even most of those are on the vanilla end of the spectrum of what i’ve seen other people ship. these poor b/archies need to get some perspective before they start the vanilla pot calling the vanilla kettle black. 

i will say that bughead is prob the least vanilla of the rvd ships tho. exhibit a: 

and that's not even talking about the time they almost started banging in front of their friends just to get them out of the room, ha.