#buffy he's SO hot and SO in love with you and he's trying so hard and your mom and your sister love him

[just-about-nothing]

the SHRIEK i SHRUNK my poor neighbors i'm so sorry to them

[kaleldobrev]

Without Hesitation, Yes.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: After all these years, Dean finally asks you to marry him.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Cursing (3x)

Authors Note: Flashbacks in italics | I love me a good childhood friends to lovers story | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Dean had known you for as long as he could remember; first meeting you through Bobby. He had met you in the late eighties, when he couldn’t be more then 9 or 10 years old. Bobby introduced you as his daughter – not biological, adopted; but he still considered you his blood nonetheless. From the moment he laid his eyes on you, he felt an instant connection to you; the two of you becoming partners in crime very soon after your first meeting. Even when him, Sammy, and his dad were on the road, he still made sure to keep in contact with you, telling you everything and anything. He would tell you how gross the motel room was that they were staying at, the diners that they would stop at on the way to their next case, and even about their current case – sometimes asking you for your input.

Although Bobby was your adoptive father and you would help him do research for cases every now and then, he had never actually wanted the hunting life for you. But not being in the life was never an option for you; it was something that you had always wanted to do. So, when Dean Winchester showed up on your doorstep in October 2005 saying that his dad was missing and needed your help, you dropped everything, packed a bag and left; even though your father didn’t want you to go. He was mad at you for leaving, but understood that it was something that you needed to do; not only because the Winchester’s were like family, but because he could see the way you and Dean looked at each other – something that he tried so hard to prevent.

For as long as Dean could remember, he always felt something for you; but he never fully knew what that feeling was. He was between three different options for a while: he actually had a crush on you, he only had a crush on you because Bobby told him “Don’t even think about it boy” or he only had a crush on you because you were the most consistent woman in his life. One of the first moments he began to try and pinpoint which of the three it was, took place when the two of you were teenagers. Everyone was sleeping and it was just the two of you up. You had somehow convinced him to watch one of your favorite movies Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Even though it wasn’t his thing, he didn’t mind watching it with you because he had thought that Kristy Swanson was hot – but he didn’t dare tell you that. He had remembered how the two of you snuck downstairs to watch it, the two of you making popcorn and grabbing two sodas from the fridge. Dean remembered how engrossed you were when watching it, sometimes quoting from it or even acting out some of the scenes. He could still remember something that you said to him, even though it had been more than 20 years. “When I grow up, I wanna be just like Buffy.” For some reason, you saying that had brought a smile to his face.

There were a few instances in his life when he had planned on telling you how he truly felt about you before the two of you had started dating. But each and every time he had thought about telling you, he would back out, because he didn’t want to ruin one of his longest friendships. Before he went to Hell, he almost broke and told you, but he told himself that there was no way he could do that do you despite the fact that he knew that he was never going to see you again. The last thing he wanted was to tell you that he loved you and then die, and now you had to spend the rest of your life wondering, “What if?” A few years later right before he was going to say yes to Michael, that is when he decided he was going to do it. He had no idea why he had thought that was the moment, but his feelings for you just poured out of him like a dam that had burst. “I’ve loved you for a long time Sweetheart. Ever since we were kids. There are so many times when I’ve wanted to tell you how I felt but…I didn’t want to ruin the friendship that we had. I…I didn’t want to lose you.” For a moment he had thought that you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings but to his surprise you did. “Took you long enough you idjit.” You told him, kissing him soon after that. “After I go into the pit, I want the two of you to have a normal apple pie, white picket fence life together. Do the whole nine. Marriage, kids, PTA meetings. All of it.” Sam had made the both of you promise. The two of you did have some sense of normalcy for the year – the best you could anyway, but kids, marriage, and definitely PTA meetings weren’t on the table at that moment. Someday though maybe.

Dean loved you more than anything or anyone. You were his best friend, his favorite person, the one that he could always count on; and most importantly: the love of his life. He never thought he would ever get the chance to ever call someone that: the love of his life. He had only heard the term once or twice during his life, mainly hearing it from Bobby and his father. Over the years, Dean had thought that he was in love before, but it wasn’t until he had a relationship with you that he truly would know what being in love actually felt like. The other times he had thought he was, he was in love with the idea of the person, in love with the idea of being in their world – a world that he knew he didn’t belong in. With you, it was different; effortless. He didn’t have to hide any aspect of himself in order to please you. You weren’t afraid of him, even when he was afraid of himself at times.

There was a part of him that knew that he didn’t deserve you – you weren’t as broken as he was. Yes, you had lost just as much as he had, but you were somehow stronger than he could ever be; which is one of the things that he admired most about you. When things got tough, he would hid behind a bottle of Jack and a mountain of self-loathing and sarcasm. Meanwhile, you continued to carry your head high and carry on like it was just another Tuesday with the boys or just another case. The only time he had ever seen you completely break is when Bobby died.

A few weeks before his insanely close near-death experience where he almost lost to a rusty rebar fighting vampires, he had went into town with Sam to go and get you an engagement ring. Even though he knew the type of jewelry that you liked, getting you an engagement ring was a completely different story. He went back and forth for hours trying to find you the perfect ring. “Dude, just pick something. She’ll love whatever you get her.” Sam had told him. It was in that moment that Dean’s eyes landed on one that he knew that you would absolutely love. “I’ll take that one.” Dean said, pointing at the ring in the case.

A month has gone by after his close near-death experience, and proposing to you is something that he no longer wanted to put off. He didn’t want to spend another day, another hour, another minute without seeing this ring on your finger. You had told him once a while ago that you didn’t need an engagement ring; that all he had to do was ask you to marry him and then the two of you could go to the nearest courthouse that same day. He truly loved the thought; but he had wanted to do something more for you than that.

Dean held the ring in his hands and couldn’t wait to give it to you. The only problem that he was currently having though, was trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say to you. “Still trying to come up with a speech there Romeo?” Sam said, his voice sounding a bit amused.

Dean eyed him, placing the ring down on the kitchen table. “I have no freaking clue what I’m going to say to her.” He admitted. “I don’t want it to be a chick flick moment, but I don’t want it to sound too generic either.” For the past several days, Dean has been trying to come up with a good proposal speech for you, but each and every time he thought that he had something, it simply just left him. Yesterday, he had even started writing the speech down, but kept crossing out everything that he wrote because he hated the way it looked and sounded.

“Word of advice? As someone who was going to propose…” Sam sighed a little at the memory; still briefly remembering exactly what he was planning on saying to Jessica. “Just be honest. Tell her…tell her all the things you love about her. Why you fell for her in the first place. You know things like that.”

“I said no chick flick moments Sam.” Dean picked up the ring again and started spinning it around on the table, momentarily forgetting that the ring before him was a couple grand and not something he just picked up at the Gas n’ Sip down the road.

“Then don’t make it one.” Sam walked over to Dean and placed his hand on his shoulder. “She’ll love whatever you say to her. I mean, she’s stuck with your dumbass this far. Nothing you can say now will make her run.” Sam gave him a smirk, and Dean just rolled his eyes.

“Bitch.” Dean said.

“Jerk.” Sam replied.

You were doing what you normally did on a Sunday morning – doing some yoga in the Bunker gym. Ever since you and the boys had made the Bunker your home, you had found yourself attracted to yoga; something that you initially didn’t like until recently. Bobby had tried to get you into it – weirdly enough; saying that it would be good for you. You had told him that you would only do it if he did it with you. “I already get pedicures with you, I ain’t doing yoga too.” He said.

As your eyes were closed and you were currently in Lotus position you heard a small knock on the door frame of the gym. You opened your eyes and a huge smile sprawled across your lips. “Hey you.” You said, your voice calm.

“Hey beautiful.” Dean replied, walking into the gym with you. He pointed to the spot in front of you. “Can I join you?” You were slightly surprised. You had tried to get Dean to do yoga for a while, but he always said that it wasn’t really his thing – he left the yoga portion of the workouts to you and Sam.

“I thought you’d never ask.” You scooted back a bit, giving him just a little bit of room so he wasn’t so close to the door.

Dean sat down in front of you, trying his best to get in the same position as you were currently in. Fuck I’m old. He thought to himself as he crossed his legs, feeling just a little bit of pressure in his knees. “You don’t have to sit like that if you don’t want to my love.” You told him. “I’m happy to just have you sitting here with me.” Your comment sincere.

“I uh, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Dean’s sentence made your heart jump. Not only because of the abruptness of it, but because it sounded like a ‘We need to talk’ conversation. Conversations like these were never your favorite – Hell, you didn’t know anyone who had liked these types of conversations.

“What’s up?” You asked, trying your best not to sound nervous while replying.

“Don’t worry. It’s…it’s nothing bad.” Dean reassured you. “Um…Well, it could be. But…I personally don’t think it is. So, I’m hoping you won’t think it’s bad either.” He sounded like a school boy trying to talk to his crush for the first time; you found it adorable. “Do you, do you remember when we were kids and Bobby would always buy you these ring pops from the store?”

“Yeah…Why?” Of course you had remembered. “One day I want a ring this big!” You told Bobby. “Not if you marry a hunter you won’t.” Bobby laughed.

“I remember, I don’t know if you do but, I remember when we were like…I don’t know, ten? The two of us were playing upstairs in your room and I took the ring pop and put it on your finger and I asked you to marry me. And without any kind of hesitation you said yes.” Dean started smiling from the memory. “Oh Dean! Of course I will! Why wouldn’t I want to marry my best friend?” You said. “You then ran out of your room, leaving my ass behind and ran all the way downstairs where you told Bobby and my dad that I had asked you to marry me. “Look daddy! Uncle John! Dean asked me to marry him! We’re gonna get married!” Bobby had told you years later, “I knew you and that idjit were gonna fall in love. I saw it when you were youngins.”

“Dean –” You began.

“Y/N.” Dean positioned himself so he was now sitting on both of his knees, holding both of your hands in his. “I honestly don’t know what I would ever do without you. Out of everyone that I’ve known in my life, you have been the one consistent thing in it. You have always been by my side even when I know for a fact that I didn’t deserve it. A lot of days, especially in the beginning when we first got together, I didn’t think I deserved you. I thought that you deserved much more than someone like me. Someone that could provide you with the life that you deserve; a safe and quiet one, not one where you’re constantly running toward the things that want to kill you.” He let out a small chuckle. “But, I’ve realized over the years that…Sweetheart, we may not have the most conventional life but, we have each other, and that’s really all that matters.” He released one of your hands for a moment as he reached for something in his pocket. “Close your eyes for me.” Without hesitation you closed them. The second you did, you felt something being placed in your hands. “Okay. Open.” When you opened your eyes there was a red and black ring lying in your hand.

“Dean…” You looked down at the ring and then looked up at Dean, unsure of what to say. For the first time in your life you were utterly speechless. You got up, getting in the same position as Dean, holding the ring in your fingers. Placing your hands on Dean’s shoulder’s, you leaned in and kissed him. You felt his hands and arms pull you in close to him as he deepened the kiss between the two of you.

“Will you marry me Sweetheart?” He asked, once the kiss was broken.

Without hesitation, like you had done all those years ago you said, “Yes.”

[faith2wood]

hey! i just finished beholden. i wanted to ask what got you writing, what had you stop for a decade, and what got you back in?

Ahhhh! Asking me why I write? You wanted word vomit? You're getting word vomit.

(There's a little spoiler for Beholden under the cut.)

What got me writing?

RAGE. 

No, really.

I was a lurker/reader in the Buffy fandom at the time, and I'd only occasionally read HP fics — 95% gen!fic, 4% low rated canon romance, 1% Sirius/OC smut, because the rest of my faves were kids, and I wasn't interested in anything else. 

And then after DH, with Draco getting pushed to the brink of redemption, but not crossing the line, and with Harry's view of him changing — always so sorry, so sad for him, always noting how scared he seemed, even switching to calling him 'Draco' — I was left with such a need to read that pairing. I wanted Draco to cross that line, and I wanted that soft understanding Harry had found for him to get explored. 

So, I tried reading Harry/Draco fics. And OH MAN. 

I was no stranger to character-bashing and unusual interpretations of canon — Buffy fandom was pretty damn crazy — but I knew my way around that place. With Harry/Draco, I stepped into the WILD. Fic after fic, all I could find was everything I loved and everything Harry loved in canon torn apart to pieces. His friends, his girlfriend, his House, his beliefs, his humor, the things that he wanted, the things that he fought for, the things that he was willing to die for, his character growth in DH, the confident brave man he became after Dobby's death, all of it dismissed, usually in a handful of exposition paragraphs. Endless apologies for the pure-blood supremacists. Draco 'redeeming' himself by quoting lines written by his fans on discussion boards, and therefore showing me he's not regretful, just full of excuses. Or he's not even redeemed, just cool and rich and suave (lol) and so much wittier than that bumbling, irrationally angry Harry Potter that felt plucked straight from OotP with all his teen angst painfully exaggerated. And then in those fics Harry just goes with it because he thinks Draco is hot. 

I could go on. I won't. 

So, I had that petulant moment where I thought, "Fine. I'll do it myself. How hard can it be?" 

Well, pretty damn hard, apparently. It's hard to create convincing drama. It's hard to get the characters in the right frame of mind so your plot could work. It's very hard to write smart and witty characters. It's hard to convincingly redeem someone. It's hard to juggle a cast of side-characters. It's hard to spell the word nesscscseary. It's especially hard to take that perfect, plausible, well-thought out story in your head and write it down without losing at least half of what makes it good. It's also hard to find time to write and write well. And of course your personal opinions on canon and fanon can seep through no matter how hard you try not to preach, and it can totally ruin a story.

That realization tempered my rage. It didn't mean I was willing to read the things I don't like, of course; I always liberally use that back button. But I did eventually find fics that I love and reccers I can trust, and learned to forgive when authors cut some corners.

Oh, but the taste of POWER writing gave me. The fact that I can just write the things I want to read. Cater to my own preferences. Simply not include the things I don't like. I want it, it's there; I don't want it, it's not.

So that's why I started writing. So I could read exactly what I wanted to read. Stories perfectly tailored for me. Honestly, I'm my biggest fan. I'm my own writing bitch. It doesn't even matter if I fail to do a good job while writing down the little movie that played out in my head, because I know my own intentions. I thought it all through. What I've written might not make sense to a reader sometimes, but it always makes sense to me. And I can always forgive myself if I feel like I failed. I find it very, very easy to forgive myself. Others, not so much, especially if I start to suspect they don't love Harry enough.

What made me stop writing?

I didn't stop writing. I stopped posting. I stopped interacting with fandom. I felt like I had my fill. I'm happy to recycle plots and read and write similar things over and over again, because I want what I want, and I won't apologize for it, but apparently I've reached a limit after all and felt like I have nothing new to offer.

I kept writing stuff. Fanfic for other fandoms, original stuff, even HP fics. Most of it unfinished and unedited and unpresentable, but enough to satisfy my occasional cravings for specific things. Which, as I said, is the whole point of my writing.

So I'll rephrase your next question: What got me to finally finish a Harry/Draco fic and post it? 

THE CURSED CHILD. lol I haven't seen it. Or read it. I haven't even read the synopsis. Next gen, eh, I was never interested. But I caught some spoilers about it on tumblr and reddit — about Draco's wife being ill and dying. That's some incredible stuff. Draco being so loving and dedicated, standing up to his parents, so heartbroken when the person he loved died but still being a wonderful father to his son. It's like I discovered a whole new Draco to think about. It got me all inspired. It's everything I ever wanted for him, except of course his wife dying. So he got to save his seemingly terminally ill lover in Beholden, and got the chance to be a loving, tender husband I wouldn't dare to even imagine after finishing the books, as it would feel too OOC to soften him up to that degree.

It likely wasn't visible, but in my mind, Beholden is kind of a Cursed Child fix!it fic — for that tiny part of the story. I needed it so desperately, I actually finished and posted it.

I have a few more asks in my tumblr inbox, and I'll very happily answer them, but it might take some time.

[cevansbrat0007]

You’re writing is so amazing, literally love everything you put out!! Do you have any romance book recommendations?!? Literally anything, I fully trust your judgement lol😌

Omigosh! First, thank you so much for the compliment. Second, I got you.

*whips out Kindle*

I've broken it down into categories. Here we go:

Contemporary Line of Duty Series, Tessa Bailey - If I want something quick, down, and dirty I reach for her. I recommend starting with her Line of Duty Series, which features the most delicious rough and tumble cops finding love.

The Coppersmith Farmhouse, Devney Perry - I adore this small town, enemy-to-lovers romance featuring a single mother and the local sheriff. Sheriff Jess can be an ass, but he grovels well. The Game Maker Series, Kresley Cole - Centers around three Russian brothers who have ties to the mafia. While each man is different and beautifully broken in his own way, they all believe in taking what they want. And once one of the Sevastyan's have set their sights on you, they will not take no for an answer. They're also not opposed to kidnapping either. The Italian, T.L. Swan - What happens when a summer fling ends up being so much more than that? This romance tells the story of an Italian mafia boss and his forbidden love with an Australian tourist. There's sex, angst, danger and so much more.

Historical *Outlander Series, Diana Gabaldon - Claire and Jamie's love literally transcends both time and space. This series contains an amazing romance, well researched historical descriptions, elements of magic, and so much more.

Paranormal The Psy Changeling Series, Nalini Singh - If you love stories about shifters and people with psychic abilities then I totally recommend checking out this series. Slave to Sensation is the first book, and premise goes something like: the ruling Psy prefer to exist in a world devoid of feelings and emotions, but what happens when one of their own finds herself craving something only Lucas Hunter, the alpha of the Dark River Shifters, can provide? *The Guild Hunter Series, Nalini Singh - Think Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but with Angels. This series is amazing and the love story between Raphael (the Archangel of New York) and his precious mortal, Elena (who is a badass in her own right). The world building is fantastic, the romance is hot, and each book only gets better. And believe me when I say, these are not your grandmother's angels. I also love the fact that you get to watch their relationship grow and evolve across multiple books. *The Night Huntress Series, Jeaniene Frost - Also has a Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibe, except the heroine is actually half-vampire herself. Bones, her eventual love interest, reminds me of Spike. Just a little bit. And just like the previous series, their romance spans multiple books. Also the love scenes are fabulous. *The Fever Series, Karen Marie Moning - If you love reading about heroines trying to solve mysterious disappearances, the Seelie and Unseelie Fae, and a delicious Alpha Male that could just easily rip you apart as well as fuck you - I'm looking at you, Jericho Barrons - then check this out. This series requires a little commitment because the romance, while hinted at, doesn't start until you're a couple of books in. But it's so worth it because you're rewarded with a territorial, possessive, darkly handsome anti-hero. *The Highlander Series, Karen Marie Moning - If you're a sucker for men in kilts, ancient curses, time travel, and drop-dead-sexy highlanders who fall hard for their modern day mates then please read. Also, some of these heroes go on to appear in the Fever Series as well. Immortals After Dark Series, Kresley Cole - Another great one This one features characters from every corner of the lore. I'm talking vampires, witches, valkyries, berserkers, demons, werewolves, succubi, and more. The men are swoon worthy and the women are badass. But what I especially love is the creativity and humor she manages to weave throughout her stories. She uses the fated mates trope quite a bit, which I love. However, what makes it great is that a lot of times the men show up like: "You belong to me now. I'm ready to take you to home" and their brides-to-be are like "Fuck off. Come any closer and I will stab you/shoot you/light you on fire". And what's more...they absolutely follow-thru. Those heroes have to earn their women. Oh, and the sexy times are good and spicy.

Hope this helps! If you or anyone else decides to read a book from this list, please let me know what you think!

*Indicates Book Boyfriend

[strandnreyes]

jen, i've been trying to think of something super unhinged for nice ask week and i haven't been able to think of anything. so here's my shit excuse for nice ask week and sorry that you might have to look some of these up. please rank these fictional vampires in order from least want to befriend to most want to befriend AND ALSO from not-est to hottest (others opinions are welcome - this is MY ask, MY rules - just kidding pls post this jen, i worked so hard on it):

1. count dracula, dracula (specifically, the 1992 adaptation of the novel in which gary oldman - admittedly, my older gentleman crush - plays dracula)

2. stefan salvatore, the vampire diaries

3. damon salvatore, the vampire diaries (had to ask for both brothers, come on)

4. laurent, twilight (u know i think he is a lil something something)

5. daddy cullen i mean carlisle cullen, twilight

6. dakota fanning looking extremely slay, twilight

7. spike, buffy the vampire slayer

8. count von count, seasame street

9. eric northman, true blood

10. bella swan, vampiric edition, twilight

11. blade, blade

12. me.

THANK YOU FOR COMING

hello, lola. first let me start by saying here is a different vampire ranking without a definition of best, just vibes (you create one vampire au and suddenly this is your whole life). I am not rereading it though, so no promises that I'm not about to contradict myself

I appreciate how hard you worked on asking this, so I hope you appreciate how hard I worked on answering it

Least want to befriend to most want to befriend:

damon - he seems like a walking red flag, he really does

2. dakota fanning - I respect a girlboss but I do think she would kill me after one wrong move. would constantly have a tummy ache, stressed to the max.

3. spike - I have never seen buffy, but google tells me he was a villain. have to play it safe here

4. bella - I'm so sorry bella but I think you would annoy me

5. blade - I really tried looking him up to give an honest friend ranking, but there were so many version?? is it a comic? a movie? a tv show? idk I got confused therefore he defaults to the middle of the list

6. laurent - one of the nicer members of his little posse (unlike that bitch james). might try to kill me but a good sob story would probably get me out of it

7. count dracula - i just read his backstory. that's so tragic, I think he could use a friend

8. carlisle - turning a bunch of teenagers into vampires when they were on their death bed is a little odd, but he had good intentions. and now look at the house he provides for them like I'll move in no questions asked

9. stefan - admittedly have only seen a few seasons of tvd, but he seems to have some kind of morals so that's always a good place to start for a friendship

10. eric - "calculating yet loyal and generally willing to absolve those that aggravate him, unless they have grievously crossed him. However, he is fiercely vindictive towards anyone who harms or threatens those he loves". thank you, trueblood.fandom.com. If I'm befriending all of these vampires, making him a top priority seems like a good choice

11. count von count - he has a cat. I'm using him and abusing our friendship for that. sorry count

12. lola - who shouldn't (?) be on this list (unless you have a secret to tell)

okay hotness below the cut because this is already too long

Least hot to most hot

1. dakota fanning (jane) - default to last because she is a child lmao

2. count von count - he is a cartoon (puppet? I don't know). I feel like there is only one right answer here and it is to put him in the second least hot position (unless that's your thing. you do you)

3. damon - this man creeps me out. I don't know if it's the eyes or what but again, bad vibes. stay away from her (elena), old man!

4. count dracula - willy wonka looking vampire. sorry to your older gentleman crush. you can keep him

5. eric northman - I do not know this man but he is giving 'just some guy' with a little bit of finance bro

6. bella - one too many awkward smiles while tucks her hair behind her ear moments, you know?

7. spike - cheek bones are cheek boning. some may say too much though. hair is giving 90s boy band. although for his time I can excuse it

8. carlisle cullen - not the biggest dilf in twilight, but an important one

9. laurent - unfortunate that you didn't pick the picture where he rolls up with his jacket undone and no shirt underneath. what an entrance. he also gets hotness points because laurent is a very good vampire name

10. stefan salvatore - the objectively better brother based on my limited knowledge. good picture. love a henley moment. look at those forearms.

11. blade - I don't know this man, but I would like to.

*you can't be ranked on the hotness scale because you did not provide a picture. sorry ;)

[milkovichrules]

its tag game wednesday thursday!! thank you for tagging me lovely people ☺️ @iansw0rld @transmickey 🖤

if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? im a shortarse so someone big and tall would be fun... maybe a wrestler... probably baron corbin hes hot

what's your most trivial / dumbest hot take? mmm... maybe that every person should watch at least one animated thing (smth not made for kids like where the wind blows or arcane) and one thing from a non-english speaking country/with subtitles

if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? probably makeup artistry? its my one and only practical skill and I would've been a licensed artist if our teacher hadn't quit her job halfway through lmao

season 12 of shameless is suddenly happening and you've been out in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? its the mickey and debbie show now and there will be various wholesome shenanigans but fr get carl outta the police force, maybe into college and that can be a nice bonding thing for him and liam studying together. oh and they definitely keep the house, maybe lip and deb get on good terms by fixing up the place together. debbie maybe runs into alex again and they give it another go? ian and mickey have wacky comic relief with their neighbours (the possibilities are endless) and probably think more seriously about starting a family and definitely get a cat or dog I just want to bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy

who would be your godly parent (can be any mythology)? I took a percy jackson quiz for this one and got Hephaestus, Greek god of artisans, blacksmiths, carpenters, craftsmen, fire, metallurgy, metalworking, sculpture and volcanoes, which sounds cool as shit (roman equivalent is Vulcan too?? hell yeah)

what's something you love about yourself? my eyes are really cool I think, they're mostly green but also have some blue and brown

describe your day in 5 emojis: 🥱👩‍💻☕️🎧📑

what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? mmmm either no one or the tiny social worker lady from season 3 lmao

tell us two truths and a lie, we'll try to guess the lie! I'm farsighted, I can speak a bit of norwegian, I love roller coasters

do you have a pet/pets? if so, how did they get their name(s)? I have two cats, artemis and athena, they're sisters from the same litter. my fiancé named them because she loves mythology (I'll put some kitten pics under the cut💕) alternate names were william the bloody and willow (if we got a boy and a girl, from buffy), april and miriam (from coraline), and teacup and lucifer (from the cat lady/downfall)

show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence: middle one is irl only I love to be Perceived Online

what's your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? oat milk latte, iced if it's warm out

use a song to describe the last five years of your life: I really don't associate the stuff I listen to with my own life so these are just things I was really into that year:

2019: butterfly - loona 2020: lady wood - tove lo 2021: too late - the weeknd 2022: stayaway - muna 2023: hard times - ethel cain / death of me - pvris

Tagging: @softmick @golden28s @m4ndysk4nkovich @abetterdaaye @heymrspatel @stocious @callivich @jrooc @sgtmickeyslaughter @gallavichlover19 @depressedstressedlemonzest 🖤

kitten pics as promised (artemis/arti is the black and white one, athena/aggie is the tortie)

[gnar-slabdash]

Leverage Mark Showdown -- Second Heat Contestants

Where the nominator left comments (or fun extra descriptors), I'm including their comments, cause those are way better than what I'd come up with. Where they didn't leave comments, you'll have to settle for mine :P

Jack Lattimer The Radio Job, The Last Dam Job (also sort of most of Season 4) Hes a background guy, just barley staying relevant but also managing to be a pain in the ass to Nate and the crew, but he's not as much of a threat as Damien Moreau, but still stays in the background disrupting htings and giving the crew a hard time purely beciase he wasts a few extra bucks. Hes a bad gys that feels realistic an investor who found a way to cheat the system to benefit himself.

Jimmaaay Jimmy Jimmy Ford The Three Card Monte Job go grandpa

Dr. Anne Hannity The Inside Job That cocky/confident shit is hot... Except for the part where she manufactures a famine. But every time she thought she had a trump card she was sexy af

Dalton Rand The Future Job he's the worst kind of loathsome esp bc he's the most directly confronted with the harm he's doing and is totally blase about it

Nicky & Heather Moscone The Wedding Job They're both great caricatures and I like that they double cross each other.

Alan Foss The Two-Horse Job He’s one of the most well-sold “cartoonishly evil immature dickbag“ characters  we encounter. I love his arrogance, his uber-hateable sexism, and the over the top reactions he makes are so much fun to watch him get angry about. Damien Moreau, "IF WE MUST" The Big Bang Job, The San Lorenzo Job - specifically for the bathrobe and flipflops and being carefully staged to not look like everyone around him is normal human size, bless him - silly charming terrifying bastard man. can't believe this hasn't been done yet.

Retzing & Sons The Snow Job Dysfunctional crime family getting synergistically worse the more they try to deal with each other. Also I get excited every time I see my boy Jonathan from Buffy

Meredith The Lonely Hearts Job Man, she actually almost did our heroes in, didn't she? I love her grudging respect for Sophie, like she is genuinely into the art of grifting and willing to acknowledge being bested

James Kanack The First Contact Job He could have just been another rich and successful asshole. But no, that wasn't enough for him. HE HAD TO TALK TO ALIENS.

Mitchell Kirkwood The Studio Job Dude was a charming psycho, I'd let him murder me for my songs 😍 Plus watching his face break was 😚 Divine 😚

Hugh Whitman The Gone Fishin' Job Yeah, you know, let's do some regular debt collection fraud and also fund an entire militia out in the woods behind the bank, that seems normal, right?

Larry Duberman The Reunion Job what if there was a nerd who had sometbing sooooooooo wrong with them. also his actor was in big eden i got really excited when i recognized him

Wendy Baran The Gimme a K Street Job - okay I cave, you got me with this one. You're gonna have to send some propaganda, cause the nominator didn't say anything and i literally remember nothing about this character except she thinks breaking teenage girls' necks is a fun way to make money - Update! The nominator says: - Okay I said Baran bc I hate her so very much -  And she’s a girlboss (derogatory)

Andrew Grant The Miracle Job Love the energy, love the way he threw a wrench in their plans by being even more of a sleazy money grubber than they expected (and more creative about it!), and yeah, he's another one that I actually feel kinda bad for cause playing on his anxiety was LOW.

Irina Larenko The Stork Job She was such a ditzy cunt, I hated her but I loved watching her on screen. Kinda cute in a way idk plus her main muscle was kinda unfff

[mewmewgirl101]

Spike was humming and wrapping the gift he stole for Sosha he even had it cleaned and was going to give it to dru but she cheated on him. He couldt wait to see Sosha’s face when when she opened it he wraps a second one smiling and third one. .Clem and spike get to the cordys house in la. Clem put gifts on the gift table got her the same hello kitty fadora to replace the one that flew off her head got ran over with tractor and shredded. Giles grabbed spike by his shirt shoved him against wall telling him to get over what ever he’s feeling For Sosha.and it’s not love or his friends or away to get to Sosha. Spike smirks asking what are you gonna do burn him with a cross pour holy water on him. Giles glares at spike. He tells them she invited him shows them is innovation.Buffy and Xander didn’t believe him thinking he probably stocked her got same innovations Sosha did and made his own. They threatened him Spike just tells him perfect just wait till Sosha gets here. Sosha your friends are being mean and told me to leave and threatened me. I didn’t do anything wrong I just came here like you asked me to. There just trying to get me mad so to brake my promise about not hurting them but there crazy. I told them you invited. but they wouldn’t listen and I didn’t do anything to deserve it.. Willow glares at Giles for attacking spike when he wasn’t doing anything wrong and saw sosha give him the invasion Spike hears sosha coming so he gets all defensive.Sosha walks in and gasps dropping her shopping bags asking what happened. Spike rushed to sosha hugs her from behind smirks at Giles at her friend. Spike whispers sweetly and Romantically In her ear what Giles did. Willow nods saying spike didn’t do anything wrong he just came to your party like you asked him to. Sosha glared at Giles. Asking if he really wanted spike to break his promise. Saying some one can only take so much.Giles he tries to defend him self but he knew spike didn’t really do anything wrong. Xander and Buffy try to get spike kicked out by lying. Spike could tell Sosha was get mad at some of her her friends. He holds her close. and sticks his tongue out like when Buffy would man handle him.

Xander Buffy and Giles as if say told you. She just turned around holding him in her arms saying how happy she is he came even though some of her friends and her watcher don’t like him.he snuggles her more sticks his tongue out at them like told you. Soon everyone and the food gets there.

Ghost denis hands her a plate and drink with crazy straw and umbrella after she sat down she giggled and thanked him for being so sweet and kind to her

Gunn got he a bow with lots of arrows and holster arrows look like the non colored coded arrows from hunger games. He had them enchanted so they never miss.

Wes got vampire hunter bag like marry pippins and other free movies drink and pop corn for a year card. (he still has one to take fred to the movies)

Angel: gave her his half of the pay checks of what he had left after paying everything he needed to anywhere gift card and will continue to do so as payment for being a slayer.rain coat

Cordy (spell books

Fred (lab tec stuff

Lorne hard cover how to Gide books fancy alcoholic drinks and non alcohol drink ( told her the alcoholic ones are still good if you make them virgin style and not as hot when you drink.) (had cordy bling book out)

Doyle: book on demons like from wolf ram and heart)( with of heart charm on it only one reader charm so one she can read it and will badly burn any thing or anyone evil

Willow: spell books

Oz Sliver charm bracelet and charms wolf paw print charm

Witches hat charm for willow

Hammer and wrench charm for Xander

Anya demon head charm

Giles classes charm

Buffy wooden stake charm

Spike the dragon for spike

Angel bunny for angel charm

Fred beeker the muppet charm

Lorne microphone

Westly and book charm

Gun a gun charm

A ghost for Denice

Cordy Nail posh charm

Doyle: four leaf clover

Clem: chicken wings charm

Anya: unicorn figurines

Xander: made her new trunk it’s like make up kit on the inside

Giles: all his notes in print with lots of pictures he printed and glued on pages. Hard back books ( she can’t read cursive writing)

Buffy: mr pointy (said its too stake spike)

Spike( Anastasia music box and necklace with figures of them) ( his skull ring )( his lighter)( even though she doesn’t smoke she can use it for candles and incense

Soaha takes the necklace and winds up music box gasps seeing her self and spike figurines dancing in stead of the original ones. hears for ever more instead of once upon a December.she hums to music as spike put the necklace on her

You can tell Buffy and sosha don’t like each other Sosha hates Buffy cause how horribly she treats spike all the time and she used to be jealous cause Buffy had spike. Buffy hates Sosha because spike left her for sosha every one is saying how sosha shouldn’t feel guilty about it cause it wasn’t even her fault spike left Buffy when he could have stayed and She didn’t know spike and Buffy were dating until Buffy came to her saying she stole her man Sosha said she didn’t steal anything till Buffy told her her and spike were dating. so she definitely shouldn’t be beating her self up about it cause she didn’t find out till later. Spike left Buffy cause he was tired of Buffy being so mean to him and since Sosha is always nice to him no matter what and was all there after Buffy was mean to him.Spike was about to do something he really really didn’t want to do but it was the only to get Some of Sosha’s friends off her back and stop teasing and ragging and Buffy to harassing her and bullying her.He takes her in a different room telling her they can’t be together anymore because he can’t stand to see some of her so called friends and watcher rag and bully harassing her about being with him.he tried and tried but nothing worked he said he’s doing this cause he loves her and hates seeing her so miserable around Buffy Xander and her watcher. Even when willow oz and Anya stick up for her. She begs him not to go.He kisses her hard and hot one more time and she deepens it he pull away super slowly gave her on last soft kiss.kisses her head saying he loves her so much leaves. She falls to her knees sobbing in her hands it starts pouring Rain outside. Willow glares at Buffy Xander and Giles. Knew it was there fault. as her and everyone comfort her ghost Denice gave her tissues. Spike was only able to shut the door before sliding down it and crying his eyes out. He looks in side thinking it’s what’s best for her. It was two weeks later and Sosha has turned to faith but more goth. She was at the bronze every night. spike watches snarling as he sees her dance against yet another guy like faith does. getting very jealous and angry he brakeshis beer bottle in half and shattered it He can’t take any more he jumps down from the balcony. moves sosha away and punches the guy. Sosha smirks to herself shoving him to wall hands rub up and and his chest and abs hard she Puts her sexy voice on.

Sosha: oh spike I could Ride you at a gallop till you knees buckle and eyes roll up I’ve got muscles you’ve never dreamed of I could squeeze you till you pop like a champagne and begged me to hurt you a little bit more. But I won’t ( turns around

Spike( swallows hard and chest heaving up and down)( slowly leaning in to kiss her ) (shakes his head)

Shakes his head snapping out of his daze. She tried pulling him closer to kiss him he pulled away and held her a way. He Grabbed her wrist drags to her place up to the bathroom sits her on toilet seat lid gets make remover wipes. And wipes her make up off very gentle saying she looked really hot like that and if he were his human self he’d have fainted hard with a groan the second she said his name.But he wants his sweet innocent sosha.Telling her how sorry he is and that not being with her kills him and seeing dancing against another guy is like a stake to his heart and that shouldn’t have listen to Buffy Xander or giels he’ll do anything to get her back. He smiles when he sees the real her saying perfect. Said to keep the goth out fits and hair.lose the make up.Cause kinda goth makes her hot. Her stomach growls loudly her orders take out for her. He kisses her saying how sorry he is and how he needs her and can’t be without her cause it’s killing him. She could tell he was telling the truth but she didn’t care she was still hurt. Growls taking remembering he smelled dry blood he carefully takes her gothic silk lady gloves off unwrapped her hands and fingers. He takes breath through his nose lovingly how sweet her blood smelled. he carefully licks the fresh blood from her hands and slowly licked and sucked blood off her fingers. After he wrapped them and put gloves back on her hand he holds and snuggles her close take in her sent they soon fall asleep in each other’s arms he wakes up first

Hefrowns thought it was dream till he felt her snuggle close to him and use him as a body pillow he smirked doesn’t mind her using him like this he loves it and holds her falls a sleep again and snuggle in close. He just smiles and holds her close. After some food and brushing their teeth spike has her on his lap kissing her hard and hot she pushing him away but he doesn’t let her he Keeps apologizing and kissing her. kissing sounds can be heard spike hears her friends come in then sees them in living room. He smirks at her friends and watcher and winks at them and continues kissing her his fangs cut her lip. She’s whimper and pulls away.he takes her lip in his mouth and starts sucking on her lip. he trails kiss a cross her neck teeth nip her soft spot she looks to see her friends and watcher looking at them he smirks at the Getting Vampire face Then sinks his fangs in her neck feeding loudly he smirks and wink at them like say you can’t do anything about it. She moans his name. In position like romance novel cover faints from blood loss body goes completely limp he dank and a little bit to much he licks her bite marks clean. Holding her close in his arms.

[doctormage]

anyway I wanna finish the show first (n we only have like 5 eps left!!) before deep diving into my Thoughts but I will say. I wish they’d given more thought to how the soul/lack thereof works with vampirism. this got rly long so have a read more

bc sometimes it’s like, no a vampire is just a human shell for a demon! (which is what they usually SAY, and what is shown most clearly w angel/angelus. especially when he has his soul and references the demon still inside him at least once that I can clearly recall - when they use that demon to kill the bad guy in that one halloween episode)

but sometimes it’s like, no it’s the same person as when they were human, they just lack humanity. (which iirc is never actually said, but imo VERY frequently implied with spike. esp now that I’ve seen the ep where he changes his mom to try and save her & she’s awful to him, and he’s viscerally disturbed by it. like, that’s still his mom to him. he still cared about her and wanted to help her. even tho he’s not william anymore, just a demon wearing his skin? make it make sense!!)

(the vampire version of his mom even SAYS he’s the same and always will be!!! like!!! is he just a special case bc he was THAT sensitive as a human lmfao help!!!)

it raises a lot of questions abt what makes a person themselves that I don’t think they quite took into consideration continuity-wise? like they SAY the demon can have the same mannerisms and memories as the person, but it’s still not the person they were. that’s a very frequently-made point when buffy is coming to terms w the fact that she’ll have to kill angelus.

so ok then, what makes the person. a functioning conscience? if the ~soul~ makes them who they are, what makes the demon NOT-them, besides that conscience? they have the same body, same memories, and (occasionally) elements of the same personality.

it just feels like fraught logic used to make the angel/angelus distinction very strict, but isn’t really applied to spike beyond the initial whiplash of seeing his human self vs who he is now. angelus couldn’t love someone but angel could, because he has a soul. so why can spike love people?? even if poorly? my first impression of him was that he was super devoted and loyal to dru!! what does it mean!!

and further! I find it really hard to believe spike did all the good things he did (as a demony vampire! sans soul!) exclusively bc of the chip. the chip prevented him from hurting people, it didn’t force him to help people. it’s rly how he is around dawn that sends this home for me bc yeah, buffy would’ve hated him if he put dawn in danger. but idk man! I don’t think a soulless demon’s hots for her inherently overrides his desire to not be tortured and killed by glory! and he continues to look after dawn even when buffy is dead!! why bother if the “reason” you’re being good isn’t even around to “reward” you for it!! idk!!! and that’s just ONE example like……please help

(I don’t want to talk about the Fuck Shit bc I was more than a little traumatized but idk. why would a soulless demon go out of his way, through much trial and torture, to get his soul back? genuinely I don’t understand how all this fits in. if humanity is something that can be learned and practiced, as it seemed to be with spike at the time, what is it about a soul that changes you so drastically? that then you innately have a conscience rather than one you have to actively choose to develop? these are not rhetorical Qs I’m truly not understanding the whole deal AND why a soulless demon would want to get his soul back. if he was so evilbad and incapable of love. which they imply is due to the soullessness. hello)

anyway I didn’t mean for this to become spike propaganda but he is unfortunately the reason I can’t rly grasp the show’s concept of the soul re: vampires. I know the real answer is that they just didn’t think it through (as a video game player and show watcher and book reader I am aware that this is USUALLY the answer) but!!! it fucking plagues me

[letterstopedrito]

#15

Hi Pedro,

Things have been a little better since my last letter. I finally broke down and talked to my husband. Finally told him I felt like his roommate and not his wife. That he existed with me in the same space but not with me, you know? It was a good talk. I'm sure I hurt his feelings, but still. He understood. He's making an effort.

I'm not sure how to come to terms with the fact that I regret settling down so early, though. I wish I had some magic ability to take a couple years off from this whole settled down and married thing and then come back like nothing happened. Some magic where I could go be someone else for a while and come back to the comfort and safety and love of this man. I fucked up when I married him. I let myself ignore all the things I know I need that he can never give me. It's not a matter of asking him to fix certain behaviors. The man I want is not who he is. He can't change his whole personality to make me happy. I just... I resent the fact that passion, lust, that desperate wanting, is simply not in his vocabulary. He loves me and he works hard to show me that everyday, but it's not what I need from him.

Anyway. He's trying. Maybe I'll get over it and everything will be fine.

--

I just watched Prospect. I fucking loved that movie. I know it's been 5 years, but a sequel would be so fucking cool. I love how over the top your character is in that. Your arm getting cut off is just so ridiculous. I loved it. I have a fun little list of what I want with your characters.

I want to be one of Oberyn's lovers. Nothing committed. Not close enough to him to be completely broken when his head gets squished in, but close enough to know what that fiery passion feels like.

I want to be Javi Peña's coworker that he sneaks around with. Still nothing committed. I'd be too worried about him and too jealous of his informants to commit. But god he's so hot.

I want to wrap Javi Gutierrez in a big hug. Kiss his forehead. Run my fingers through his curls while he lays in my lap and tells me about his screenplay.

I'm wildly attracted to Ezra, but I'm not really cut out for the life he lives. I still want to rip that damn suit off him though. The scene in the drop pod after he gets shot? Sitting all sprawled out and panting from the pain in his arm... good lord almighty.

I want Joel to find me in Jackson and decide Ellie needs a stepmom. I love Ellie so so much. We'd be best friends. And Joel's rough voice and rougher hands. His gray hair. His strong arms and soft belly. I want to fix him. He definitely activates my savior complex something awful.

Dieter Bravo... man if I was in that bubble and he asked to have sex with me I'd say yes in a heartbeat. His wild hair and wilder eyes... fuck dude. Savior complex again. I can fix him, I swear (I can't). I'd ruin myself trying.

Dave York is hot, but I'd have to steer clear of him. For one thing... he's married with kids. But for another, he works for the bad guys.

Marcus Moreno is another one that could use a stepmom for his kid. That's all I've got on him... he seems sweet.

Agent Whiskey has a special place in my heart, since I'm from Kentucky and the Statesman Distillery is there. I also love a cowboy, love a whip, and love a tragic backstory. Agent Whiskey did nothing wrong!! And that's coming from someone who definitely would've needed the antidote. I would save him from the meat grinder.

Fish... Oh Frankie. He needs a haircut and a shower. He needs someone to convince him trafficking cocaine to the US is a bad idea. He needs someone to remind him that he's important and his life matters. I don't think I could fix him either.

I'd punch "Dio" in the face.

Edward from Buffy is sweet and so adorable, but he dies and I like older men with patchy facial hair so...

Din. Again. Needs a stepmom for his kid. Or at least a babysitter. I just read this beautiful, heartbreaking unfinished fic about a girl who does that. He picks her up and takes her with him and they fall in love. He shows her his face, but it doesn't feel like wish fulfillment, you know? In the fic, it's basically mandalorian marriage. And there's this whole thing about how "to know is to love" and it's beautiful. I'm horny for Mando, but Din in that fic is probably the reason I feel my heart swell and get a lump in my throat when I think about him.

That's all of them I've seen so far. I plan on watching everything you've been in. I think Ezra is my favorite character of yours, Oberyn is the sexiest, and Javier Peña is the one I'd be most likely to ruin my life for. I'd run away with Mando in a heartbeat too, though. What do you think about your characters? If you knew these people in real life, how would you react to each one?

Have a good night, my dear dear friend.

G.

[madamemidnight]

This, but also, he didn't try to "rape" her. He thought (because she'd been doing so the entire fucking time), that she was playing hard to get. When he finally understands that she's really serious and means it, he stops and feels like shit. This is the problem with relationships based in dubcon and hot/cold dynamics. The line isn't very clear for either party, until it is, usually only after it's been crossed. If Spike were actually trying to rape her he wouldn't have stopped. Rapists don't just "come to their senses" when they see how scared the victim is. They, in fact, get off on that because it's about the control and power and not sexual or physical pleasure. It always annoys me when people say he tried to rape her because he didn't immediately take no for an answer. Did he sexually assault her? Yes. Was that entirely his fault? It's a gray area in this scenario because their sex often occurred during attempts to murder one another. Resisting her attraction to him (psychologically and physically, via assaulting him), then immediately kissing him, or opening his belt, etc, had been a fundamental part of their relationship since it began.

Conditioning someone to understand that you don't really mean "No," then getting upset when you actually do, and they ignore you, is obviously going to confuse them. This is also why Buffy isn't actually upset with Spike. She's upset with herself for the reckless and contradictory way she's been behaving towards him. She knows that she fucked with his head and she feels guilty about it even though she tries to convince herself he's a monster and that that's the reason he didn't understand he was crossing a line. Truth is, she knows she's just as much to blame, if not more, because she couldn't just be honest about wanting him and turned it into a convoluted and unnecessarily complicated thing. Spike would have tried to woo her and do everything the romantic route if he thought she'd allow it. Look at how he treated Dru and that was without a soul. If he thought Buffy would let him openly and honestly love her he would have been acting very differently. He was trying to play things by her rules, but she kept changing them without being clear what they were.

I'm not one to victim blame, but in this particular scenario they are both victims because she was abusing him physically and emotionally, and using him while knowing that he was in love with her. She even tries to invalidate his feelings because she doesn't want to accept them as they would (and later do), make her feel like she's being a selfish asshole towards him. Spike knows he deserves better, but he also feels like he doesn't after all the fucked up shit he's done for the greater part of a century. He's settling for what he can get because to him it's better than having nothing and he knows she'll never love him. That's why when he survives and is revived he doesn't go and find her the way he searched the ends of the Earth for Dru every time she left him. He decides it's best if she thinks he died a hero. It's a much cleaner, nobler, and romantic ending than an eventually messy break up, and the poet would absolutely choose that route.

In summary, Spike didn't try to rape Buffy. She blurred the consent lines from day one and the second he realized she was serious and it wasn't an act he backed off and apologized. The only reason she reacted that way is because she'd been wanting an excuse to justify mistreating him to absolve her guilt and jumped on the first one, which unfortunately for him happened to be a damn good one. Buffy isn't the type to have told someone that tried to rape her that she loved them. If she actually believed that was what happened, and that he had sincerely attempted to force her, she would have staked his ass no questions and gone back to business as usual.

Everyone was reaching so hard to hate on Spike in season 7 that it spins back around and makes them look like they have no real moral compass

Xander's all "I don't care if he has a soul now, he'll always be an evil thing because he tried to rape Buffy." So did you hyena boy but everyone forgave that as soon as you became your old self again

And Giles' acting like Spike needs a chip just in case he goes evil at some point. Anyone can go evil, there were 7 seasons of nice people going evil and Giles wasn't advocating that the whole world get chipped

[membermentmania]

August 20th, 12:00-12:33am

When it ended, Clyde let out a dramatic sigh. Tweek went to ask what was wrong but Craig pinched his side. He whipped around to give him a look, but Tolkien had already asked the simple question. 

“I love Buffy so much,” he lamented. 

“Like, the character or the show in general?” 

“OH MY GOD! WAIT. WAS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME WATCHING IT?” Tolkien and Craig both let out a dramatic groan. 

“Yes?” 

“Did you like it?” 

“Say no,” Craig begged quietly. 

“I thought it was cool.” 

“It’s more than cool! Okay, so like, it’s in monster of the week format.” Tweek nodded. “And basically we just follow Buffy doing cool shit. And she’s, like, so cool. Like, we’re still early in, but she’s already had so much character development and the vampires are actually kinda disturbing in this and not just, like, hot immortals.” Tweek gave him a slow nod of comprehension. “BUT MY PROBLEM LIES WITH XANDER.” There was another dramatic groan from the two. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Tweek asked, giving Clyde more fuel to work with. 

“Oh. My. Fucking. God. He’s the fucking worst!” Tweek tilted his head slightly. “He’s so flat. Like, I feel like all he does is whine, like, 70 percent of the time. Which is saying so much coming from me!” 

Tweek laughed. “Mhm.” 

“Like, we’re only midway through season three, but I just can’t find him likable. And I tried, Tweek. I really tried.” He shook his head. “I fucking hate him.” More laughs were bubbling out of Tweek at this point as he continued on. Tweek let him go nearly uninterrupted for a good thirty minutes before Clyde’s everchanging rant ended. “All in all though, that leads me to my final question.” 

 two who did not even try to participate in this conversation. Tweek figured they’d heard this throughout all three seasons. “Yes?” he asked with a snicker. 

“You like me, right? Like, we’re bros?” 

“Of course.” 

“If you randomly got turned into a vampire, would you turn me into one?” 

Tweek made a face. “Is that, like, something you would want?” 

“YES!” 

He laughed. “Well, if it was what you wanted, I don't see why not.” 

“SEE!” He yelled, gesturing wildly at Tweek. “At least SOMEONE understands me!” Craig flipped him off and Tolkien followed suit, doing the same. A small laugh bubbled out of Clyde. “Okay, okay. I’m done.” 

“Anyways,” Craig said. “Did you guys know Cartman’s back?” 

“WHAT?!”  the two responded in unison. “WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET ME GO ON THAT LONG OF A TANGENT WHEN YOU WERE JUST SITTING ON THAT INFORMATION?!” Clyde yelled. 

“Didn’t know you were so invested in his whereabouts,” Craig noted with a laugh. 

“I am! Where is he back! What the hell, Craigory!” Tweek bit back a laugh, imagining the earned glare from the nickname. 

“Denver. He works at the aquarium.” 

“How the hell did he wind up there?” Tolkien asked, genuinely taken aback. 

“Turns out he got a degree in zookeeping. Started working there a few weeks ago. I just found him, like, the other day.” 

“No shit,” Clyde muttered. 

“How is he?” 

“He seems… happy? Or whatever his approximation to that would be.” 

“We have to go visit him!” Clyde demanded. 

“He’s coming here, actually.” 

“When?!” 

“Sometime tomorrow. Or maybe late tonight. Not exactly sure. He said he’d call me when he got in.” 

“Okay, sweet.” 

The group carried on for a bit longer. It was getting late though. “So Tweek, you’re leaving tomorrow?” 

“Yeah,” he responded, trying to keep the way too painful thoughts at bay. This was the hard part. Saying goodbye was always the hard part. He tried not to think about the hardest part. 

“When are you coming back?” Clyde asked. Craig’s arm around him tightened the tiniest bit. 

“Eventually,” he responded with a sad smile. 

Clyde let out a small hum. “Just don’t stay gone too long, yeah?” 

“I won’t.” 

Tweek stood and  gave Tolkien a half hug goodbye. “Take care of yourself, okay?” 

“You too, Tweek.” 

The moment Tweek let go, Clyde ripped him into a bone crushing hug. “It was so good to meet you, bro. I hope I see you soon!” 

“It’s always good to meet you too, Clyde,” he responded, hugging him back tightly. “I can’t wait to see you again. Take care of yourself.” He leaned in a bit to whisper. “Take care of Craig while I’m gone too, okay?”

He pulled back, beaming at Tweek. “Always will.” 

Tweek smiled. They would all take care of each other. They’d be okay. “Goodnight guys. I’ll see you later.” 

[zorilleerrant]

I did figure out why Riley is so annoying, btw. it's because every other character on btvs (with the exception of some of the minor and background characters) is a genderswapped version of a really specific archetype from either a) superhero action or b) teen soaps right up until the end of s5. (they drop that bit after.) for most of them this adds some depth or nuance, through a combination of gendered experiences changing the way people interact with the world, and the simple fact that people read identical characters wildly differently based on the gender they're presented as.

the problem is this: the character that Riley is relies on her gender non-conformity. she's a real tomboy, grew up in men-are-real-men country and had to fight to be accepted as a woman even though she doesn't wear zebra print dresses and perfect hair and makeup. her hair is cut so short people often mistake her for a boy at first glance, and she has six or seven older brother who she looked up to growing up, with a single dad who didn't know how to raise her without letting her be as rowdy as the rest of them. her family is an old school military family, so she was raised to respect and honor the military, and thus it seemed the reasonable career choice.

some (but not all) of her brothers are also military, and her career was overshadowed both by their reputations, and by the fact that she's a woman in a male-dominated field trying to achieve respect without completely erasing her own femininity, or denying her need for a love/sex life that fulfills her. she works hard to balance these things, but it takes a toll, especially since she has to play macho with most of the guys, and only has her one good female friend from her school days to talk to. so she bluffs and blusters a lot and can sometimes seem cold or heartless, especially during emotional moments, but really it's just the wall she's built up to protect herself, and her feelings run as deep and her blood runs as hot as anyone's. and she has to learn to break through as she falls in love.

anyway, when you genderswap her, then she becomes... a normative masculine man. he's in the military, a normal job for men, and especially for masculine men. he is straight, and there's nothing remotely getting in the way of that. he expresses his masculinity with his masculine friends and also the feelings corresponding with his gender, which are also masculine, so no problem. he looks like a man and people think he's a man, and he is a man. they treat him like he's a man trying to do a man's job. he has to deal with his family's feelings on the fact that... as a man... he's doing typical masculine things... and he is still a man....

do you see? all the nuance is filed off, and the trouble he has with emotions is no longer motivated. the fact that he's closed off is a personal trait, not a socially influenced one, but since it's not explained, that becomes a flat trait as well. instead of the bond between a superhero man (doing fighting in secret, so he can't tell anyone) and a military woman (conversations about gender will hurt her career/social life, so she can't tell anyone), you have Buffy, who has all of those things combined, and Riley who has... a gun and stuff. and no internal conflict

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

now that you’ve compared rosalie to cordelia (two of my favourite characters ever. god, what does that say abt me? i love hot mean women?) i can’t stop thinking about it. i keep trying to match up twilight characters to buffy characters. so far i think edward is xander (insufferable nice guy misogynists), maybe carlisle is giles?? i see oz as jasper and i don’t even know why. they just have similar vibes in my head. at first i thought drusilla and alice are both weird vampires with prophetic gifts but i don’t see them as similar people. so my ask is: what do you think twilight characters buffy counterparts are???

Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree here (which I suppose is what this blog's for).

There's not many corresponding characters between Buffy and Twilight. They're all very different people with very different back stories, goals, etc.

To the point where you can't really point to one and go "AH HA! FOUND YOU!"

I'd argue there's no Xander match up in Twilight, no Giles, etc.

Why Isn't Edward Xander?

Xander's a lot of things, a lot of bad things, but he's not Edward.

He isn't driven by violence, is not deeply conflicted over his drive to be a very noble person but prone to violence, he's not particularly filled with self-hatred (well, he is, but not in the sense that Edward is), he doesn't think of himself as an intellectual at all, etc.

Xander dates several women throughout the series and never acts the way Edward did in his relationships. He doesn't worship his partner and see only glowing attributes/Madonna type images and he also doesn't go for Madonna type figures at all.

His relationships are all disasters, but in very different ways and not ways that circle around a lust he's can't repress.

Why Isn't Carlisle Giles?

A large part of Giles' character is that he had this rebellious phase in his youth where he was not a good person at all. He not only did shady shit but he was all sorts of shades of nasty. This haunts him even as we reach him as an adult.

Carlisle's got issues in his past as well, but Giles the vampire would absolutely be eating people and Carlisle does not.

More though, Giles has this hard edge to him where he will always do what must be done. Specifically, there's his murder of Ben. Ben after being defeated is spared by Buffy only to be confronted by Giles. Giles tells him that Buffy is a supremely good person and a hero, Giles and Ben are not, and so Giles then murders Ben without blinking an eye.

Giles has no illusions about who and what he is or what he's capable of. He cares deeply for those under his charge, he does have his values and goals, but he is not a good person and he's well aware of it.

And he'll do what he has to even if it causes agony for those around him.

Carlisle's not like that at all. While he did participate in the newborn fight he tries to spare Bree, Giles would murder the shit out of Bree.

Giles, as it is, would--probably murder Edward as the Bella thing keeps going. It's hard to say but Edward might ultimately drive him to it as he watches Edward's Willow like descent into madness where his actions threaten to murder the entire family who is innocent of all of this.

Alright, Who Does Line Up?

Rosalie and Cordelia

Rosalie and Cordelia share a lot of similarities in how they're treated by the cast. Cordelia lacks Rosalie's haunting backstory when we meet her (although she could be thought of what Rosalie may have been like in life) but both are very attractive and know it (and have deep rooted issues with this that they handle by very assertively acknowledging how attractive they are), both choose to speak their mind constantly because everyone thinks the worst of them anyway/it has to be done.

They're very honest characters who will not let the idea of looking bad to others stop them from saying what they must. Cordelia openly insults her loser friends all the time, Rosalie openly insults Bella all the time.

Angel and Edward

I have... thoughts on Angel. So many thoughts.

Edward is much closer to being Ange. When Angel is inflicted with a soul he becomes much like Edward. He sinks into self-loathing and agony, lives in self-hatred and misery, and his primary means of expression is brooding and hating himself.

He enters, then, a very... controversial relationship with the very young Slayer. He starts dating Buffy when she's sixteen, he becomes obsessed with her as a paragon of virtue and goodness when she's only fifteen. He watches her frequently from the shadows, interacts with her in mainly cryptic distant manners until she pushes the issue and draws him in.

And then he reveals that without his soul, he's a monster that's far worse than most. He revels not in eating his victims so much as in psychologically destroying them, until there's nothing left of them, and then turning them so that they can live with him in agony forever (where he spends eternity sexually assaulting them).

He's driven by obsession and corrupting those he sees as particularly virtuous and wonderful (Drusilla then Buffy).

Obviously, this last isn't Edward, for all he does he's not Angelus but... Were Edward to decide to admit what he is, to not strive to be a good person, then I could very easily see him becoming Angelus.

This would be an Edward who does not hesitate to think that Carlisle may be disappointed were Edward to murder all of Biology so he can break Bella's neck and drain her body dry.

[willowmosby]

Ok yeah I like a lot of this, so let me share my thoughts. apologies to the OP for responding with a whole ass essay.

I really like points 1 & 2.

I've thought about how Willow's need to control is the actual problem not the magic. It's something that is seen in s3 Lover's Walk, in s4 Wild at Heart and Something Blue, s5 Forever and well you get my point. And in contrast look at Tara who makes a similar mistake in s5 Family but completely learns her lesson. Not to mention season 7 basically shows Willow as grappling with that as her own flaw not as a recovery addict.

The second point is one I'd never thought about. Just like so many, I greatly dislike the bathroom scene. But I was never sure what an, for lack of a better word, alternative was. The writers have all this awful tension and I think the idea of trying to turn Buffy fits the weight of that well with our getting into sexual assault. ( Although there is the fact that vampires as a whole already have that as a built in metaphor so it's not like it's completely gone). Now I'm not trying to start a fight with hard core spike fans but I'm sure there are some out there who think just cut this plot point out and I think that's dumb. For example I have seen some takes where Spike doesn't need to get a soul at the end of the season cause the point is he chooses to be good most of the time and etc etc which I don't think works if either the original bathroom or this alternative happens ( personally I don't think it works ever). I just think that season 6 is a little bit about fucked up things happening and while I don't like that it only really furthers Spikes character I personally ( and I really really don't begrudge anyone who disagrees) think something extreme has to happen there.

I don't agree with Op's 3rd point.

I completely understand it. I hate to see my fellow Gays buried and Xander is a frustrating character. I do think that Xander getting killed is enough of a potential trigger for some dark Willow action.

However I have several bigger issues. I just don't think that Tara ( even if they weren't dating), and Buffy and maybe even Dawn couldn't be a better mental balance than Xander. Tara understands the draw of magic and more importantly is someone who Willow has consciously made changes for this season. At this point in the timeline Willow would be more likely to sit and listen to Tara than Xander. And that's not meant as a dig at Xander just my interpretation of the relationships.

Also one of the main reasons Willow is able to go off the deep end is that there is no one who knows about or shares in her pain until long after Tara is dead and even then how could they relate ( yeah yeah Buffy killed Angel, but it's all about perspective). That's not happening with Xander, either a) Buffy is there when Xander is killed as is cannon to when Buffy gets shot and what op proposed or b) it's just him and Willow and Buffy and Dawn take all of 5 seconds to clock that Xander is not there for a reason. And sure Willow and Xander have known each other the longest but Xander is one of Buffy's best friends too. They would be able to share stories and feelings in a way that would invite understanding rather than isolation. Sharing our pain is a major part of how most people deal with grief.

To get really personal with my opinion let's says Xander is dead we've gotten to the trying to destroy the world moment and Tara shows up. Does she still save the world? Probably, yeah but the thing I love about that stupid yellow crayons speech is that it is an act of unconditional love. Tara no doubt loves Willow and sometimes leaving is the best thing you can do for a person. But sometimes what you need is some to say I disagree with what you're doing but I will always love you and that's Xander and Willow, at least in some of season 6. Do I think Xander could have been more consistent with that trait? sure (my hot take is that Xander is a great character misunderstood and misused by the writers) but ultimately it saves the world and I need to believe that there are relationships like that.

My S6 BTVS rewrite

I know this season has a lot of haters but I actually love season 6, I don't mind the depressing parts (meaning: most of the season) because I think it all makes sense for where the characters are at, and I think that after fighting a literal God having a season where the villain is Life really works storytelling-wise.

Having said that, though, I think that a lot of things could have been handled better and since all I have are correct opinions I'm gonna tell you what those are.

1. Willow's magic addiction

Basically I think they went too far when the magic became drugs in the most basic sense, when they start acting like she's "taking a hit" every time she uses it.

I think all of the important plot points could have been kept while making willow's addiction to magic about her need to be in control of everything (and everyone). Up to Tabula Rasa I wouldn't change anything, her use of magic is wrong because she starts using it to bend the world at her will, empowered by having successfully brought Buffy back to life.

After Tara leaves her she starts using even more magic while being reckless with it, she injures Dawn and she commits to stop using it because she realizes it wasn't healthy for her or for the people she loves.

I would eliminate Rack and his stupid crack house hide out, and everything that has to do with the physical withdrawal of going "cold turkey".

I think this also makes Willow responsible for her actions, while making magic = literal heroin absolves her of the blame, in the end. The fallout of having to deal with her dependence of it would also be way more compelling.

2. Spike's attempted r4pe

I would keep their toxic relationship and everything that led up to that god-awful bathroom scene, my only change is that I would make it so Spike is trying to turn her instead.

Hear me out. It would make a lot of narrative sense because all through the season he's trying to convince her she's a dark being just like him, he wants them to be equals because he doesn't think himself worthy of her so he's trying to lower her to his level. So, after Buffy rejects him again he's not thinking clearly and, in his desperation, tries the only thing he swore himself he wouldn't do since he loves Buffy because of her goodness.

After it happens, Buffy feels betrayed, Spike leaves and decides to try to get to her level, to truly change himself instead of trying to change her.

This is a minor thing too but in this rewrite after Spike leaves we don't know where he went and we don't see him again until the start of s7 when he already has his soul. I know this couldn't be done because of James Marsters' contract but in my dream s6 we don't know what happened to him so when we see him again everything about his sudden disappearence and current mental state is a mystery and we find out along with Buffy.

3. Xander dies instead of Tara

Ok maybe this one is based on my dislike of Xander and my love of Tara but I think this would work really well:

Willow and Tara haven't gotten together yet, Willow is working on her more controlling tendencies and they're just friends right now. When Warren shows up Buffy is in the garden with Dawn and Xander went up to Willow's room to talk to her, so both Buffy and Xander get shot, Dawn takes Buffy to the hospital and dark Willow is born after she's not able to revive Xander.

After that things are mostly the same, only this time we get a grieving Buffy trying to deal with the sudden loss of both of her best friends. She's devastated and a part of her says that yes, Warren deserves to die.

After everything happens and Willow is close to destroying the world, Tara is the one who shows up, she appeals to Willow's humanity and, through her love and compassion, saves the world.

[takaraphoenix]

Honestly I think a big part of the reason why some people have such a hard time understanding Spuffy and try and argue that it “came out of nowhere” is because Spuffy is all about show, don’t tell.

I suspect that might be the reason for some. Though, on the other hand, I do think that the scattered writing might be the biggest reason. Whedon is so obsessed with the love triangle without a solution and without a clear endgame for Buffy that it is more messy than in say any other show with a love triangle where you do have a clear transition from one ship into the other.

A large part of the show does treat Angel like he is her true love and her soulmate, in the beginning - and it is very easy to get hung up on beginnings, especially when that is your ship - and whenever it is convenient for the plot. If you get told that your ship soulmates, it's kind of hard to let go of that, I'll give them that, and it becomes tough to see one party move on from that ship. And it didn't help that the writers never let Angel move on either; whenever Buffy comes up, Angel continuously acts like absolutely nothing else matters (even if he already has a love interest in his own show). So adapting Angel's attitude toward this is not entirely unexpected there; the two share a frame, suddenly Angel forgets the girl he is dating or the girl he's been shown to be in love with on AtS and he is back to early BtVS Angel who claims Buffy to be his soulmate. Like, if Angel still views her as that, how could there possibly be build-up for another ship for Buffy?

The harsh truth is that Whedon does want to sell both Spike and Angel as Buffy's love interests and he doesn't want her to make a definite choice - that's why Angel had to come back in that final episode of BtVS like a knight in shining armor to directly undermine the strong Spuffy momentum that was at play there, that's why season 8 (where Whedon was in charge) decided to make Angel and Buffy literal soulmates like actually fated and created to be together, just to have seasons 9, 10 and 11 barely feature Angel and build up a strong, loving relationship between Buffy and Spike, that's why season 12 (when Whedon returned to the comics) then decided to break that up with the flimsiest of excuses and kill off Angel's love interest so you can end the show on Buffy, Spike and Angel, all options, all single, all in the open.

Spuffy very much is there and does get a proper build-up, but the way the writers kept sabotaging it and kept throwing Angel in there as a "reminder" of sorts, it makes things much messier than they had to be, because the show never allowed Spuffy to be a clear endgame ship, it kept dropping Angel back in and it kept Angel as obsessed with Buffy as on day one.

It very much feels like Angel's canon behavior is being mirrored here; he can't let go of the past, he can't let go of Buffy, he refuses to see Spike's growth as a person and can't accept that Spike and Buffy could have feelings for each other, he ignores what's happening right in front of him because he still sees her as his soulmate. Many shippers look at it through Angel's eyes and feel validated by his canon behavior and since he can't see how Spuffy could possibly be a thing... neither can they.

Okay, this one ran a bit away from me, but seriously, the most frustrating part about the Buffyverse's writing is that it feels like they're playing relationship hot potato, but blindfolded, so nobody really knows what potato's even in the air right now, and strong leadership with a clearly laid out plan would have very much helped, but instead the writers seemed to be stumbling over each other's feet and the ship-mood of the episode depends on what writer is in charge and how close Whedon is to the set that day.