#buddhabellybegone

[chriscastile]

Notes to Summatic Self

As you can’t read..yet, six days ago I woke at 2PM as usual and stream of consciousness flowed the state of my thoughts, life, mind. The epi-central theme was that I needed to work toward a 180 right now and I can honestly assert that I’ve summoned the Rocky Heart, mindset and motivation to transform my life, during the last six days at least. My most quintessential urgent prayer this morning as I did my essential stretches, mantra singing and meditating was that I keep running up this path—that I never go back to my old, depressing “life”style of being lazy, slothy, unmotivated, tredding water as I waste away my days, months and early adult years. I have faith that I can keep up this progressive pace and momentum, mostly because of how sublime I feel—how great and renewed my general psyche, affect, mood and brain chemistry feels and how necessary and important keeping up this concentrated, wise, Rocky-like effort is to myself, my family and wide circle of friends. I can say both truthfully and factually that my entry from 10.19 has served its intent so far, that it has been a catalyst to the urgent and beautiful changes I’ve made to my mind, body, heart and soul recently. And I have faith that the continued commitment to steaming the thoughts at the center of my consciousness will continue to be pragmatic as I work to achieve my most gorgeous, O-mazing dreams.

Last week, I had a live dream of myself running up to the peak of the Rocky steps—fit, joyous, strong as a symbol of my triumph over the obstacles that have been holding me back from an optimal life since 2004. Every fukin time I picture myself atop those Rocky Steps, live on Spacebook, my grandfather nestled at the top snapping awesome picks, my parents, brother and good friends rooting me on…I cry tears of joy and triumph. I have such a deep awareness of all of the sadness, failures, bat beats, regressions, and obstacles that have struck me for the last 13+ years and the images of me triumphing over them bring a deluge of joyous tears. That moment atop the Rocky Steps is a symbol of sacred triumph and is premium fuel that I know will continue to keep my engine running as I work towards an extremely difficult and long-overdue task of losing 100+ lbs and more importantly, returning to Level 10 Holistic Health. If I cry shweet ocean waves thinking about that Rocky Steps run, I can only imagine how triumphant and joyous I will feel when it actually comes true. “Up Goes the Tomahawk” will be the second installment of the Tomahawk series and a noice contrast, triumph comeback narrative to the funny, entertaining but ultimately, tragic tale known as “Boom Goes the Tomahawk”.

There is a still a colossal amount of work to be done before I get to the peak of the Rocky Steps but, so the fuck what? You eat an elephant one bite at a time and the best I can do is do the best with each moment and day. Committing, as I have been since my original entry, to daily progress, to X-Exercising with HEART, to practicing a lot more mindfulness, stretching, to feeding all parts of my being with + fuel…healthy food and drink, pragmatic reads, genuine and creative writing, impeccability with my word, optimal execution of my $work, positive moments, conversations, observations, exercise with my roommates is the ROOT of this elephant consumption task and will enable a daily, monthly and yearly Symphony of Splash (mostly metaphorically).

It’s 7am now and I’ve already done more progressive things than I usually had done by 7PM during a historical epoch I now dub, “the Blunder Years”. I am giving myself a few healthy down thumbs up then moving onto the next task—Straightening up my email and computer files—getting them organized and shedding the excess fat. The wave metaphor from “Up All Night” has been omnipresent lately---Surf the Wave of Your Fate with style and grace and remember that if you look around, gloat and concentrate on how sick others will see your surfing skills you will lose your concentration and fall off the board. So ima keep surfing with my mind on keeping the balance on my board, my feet rooted in my immediate setting, my body aligned straight and zen-like, my dreams on the glorious shore and the past way behind my vision as I strive to surf every moment and knuckle-curve like waves with style and grace.

To be continued…daily with wise and energetic effort.

Love,

Thomas