#buckybarnsfanfic

[sleepybabyxo]

Bloody sheets

Fandom:Marvel

Character: Bucky barns

Word count: 1k

TW: mentions of bl**d, mentions of S/H, fluff, mentions of relapse, mentions of breakdowns and mental health. Mentions of knifes

Concept: you have been really struggling recently with your mental health, you have s/h before but since you met Bucky you have gotten a lot better. But last night you had a breakdown and relapsed. Bucky finds you the next morning I’m a bad way.

It was around 4:32 am and Bucky was sleeping. You didn’t want to wake him as he had been in meetings all day and had lots of work to do in the morning. You lay awake staring at the ceiling, your head spinning and your mind filled with endless thoughts and doubt. Doubt about your appearance, doubt about buckys love for you and doubt about every moment in your life. You felt so down and you thought you were getting better, you thought you were “fixed”. You crawled out of bed cautiously trying to avoid waking your daddy. Your walk downstairs and sit on the kitchen island. Gazing at the cutlery draw as your eyes focuses in and out causing your head to feel light. You stand up and grab a glass of water, hoping to distract your mind from the thought of a relapse. But it didn’t. Your head was still racing. You began to pace around the kitchen, counting the glossy black and white tiles as you moved. But still you couldn’t shift the thought of harming yourself. You began to cry, coving your mouth as you screamed into your hand. Tears streaming endless down your face.

You stumbled to the draw and grabbed a small knife. Bucky had added plastic covers over every knife to avoid little you accidentally cutting you finger. You pulled off the cover and placed it on the counter. You took a deep breath and put the knife to your leg. After a few seconds you where crying even harder, biting your lip to help with the burns and stings of the fresh cuts on your leg. You placed the knife in the sink, stumbles out of the kitchen and crawled up the stairs. You hadn’t yet looked at your leg and where unaware of the mess you had made. You turned on the bathroom light and gasped in shock as you looked down at your leg, covered in thin, straight lines gushing with blood. You panicked and grabbed the closes thing to you, it was one of Buckys shirts. You wrapped it around your leg and stumbled to the bed. You knew you need to clean it but at this moment in time all rationality was gone. You crawled into bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up groaning in pain, forgetting what had happened just a few hours before. Your light groans woke your daddy. He turned to face you and pulled you into him. Your injured leg rubbed along the bed, you let out a light scream. Buckys eyes shot open. “What is it princess?” “Are you okay”. You just looked away avoiding his eye contact, scared of his reaction to your newly injured leg. “Sweetheart talk to me what’s wrong?” He looked down a saw a blood stain on the bed. “Did you get your period love?, it’s okay daddy doesn’t mind let’s get the sheets changed and get you all clean.” You look at him sheepishly. “It’s not that daddy” his face drops knowing exactly what had happened. “Awh baby let daddy see. I’m not mad I just need to check it.” You roll over and let out a whine. Bucky let’s out a low gasp his mouth drops open. “Little one this isn’t good. It’s still bleeding and we really need to clean it” you begin to cry. “I’m sorry da-“ Bucky cuts you off “don’t apologise baby” he lift you into his arms and carries you to the bathroom and placed you in the tub.

“Let’s get you cleaned up” he grabs some supplies from the cabinet under the sink. “What made you feel like this baby?” You look away not knowing what to say. You don’t respond. “Awh kiddo it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” “Now this is going to hurt a little.” He leans towards you and lifts the makeshift bandage. “Wow baby girl this is bad. It’s really really bad. We may have to take you to the emergency room.” “NOO” you shriek but it’s looking like you have no choice. Bucky removes the shirt from your leg and gently pats it with a wet face cloth, you mumble and groan at the cold water and the stinging of you leg. He wraps a clean bandage around it and grabs you some clean clothes. “Come on princess let’s get this looked at.” You start to cry. “Daddy it hurts, and I don’t wan you to be mad” “I’m not mad little one, I’m worried. I love you and I don’t want you to hurt yourself” “I know I’m sorry dada.” “It’s okay baby girl daddy’s not mad” he kisses you cheek and places you on the bed. “Let’s get you dressed” he gently puts on some clean underwear and a pair of sweatpants trying his best not to rub against you wounded leg. He then pulls one of his hoodies over you head. “Can I take my paci and stuffie with me daddy?” “Of course little one, do you want a snack too?” “Yes please daddy” you let out a little smile. “You want goldfish?” You nod. “use your words little one“ “yes please daddy” “good girl” he grabs your favourite stuffie, your paci and a snack pack of goldfish. And places you on his hip. “Let’s get you in the car darling” he straps you into your seat and kisses your head. “I love you princess” “I lub you too dada” he places the paci in your mouth, the stuffie in your arms and the cracker in you lap. And head off to the emergency room.

I’m going to make a part 2 to this, if you want the part 2. Let me know. ❤️

[sleepybabyxo]

Hospital gowns: bloody sheets pt 2

Fandom: Marvel

Character: Bucky barns

Word count: 1.4k

Tw: hospitals, mention of infection, blood and s/h. Mention of injection and needles. Fluff.

Concept: daddy Bucky takes you to the hospital to get you s/h looked at. It’s not good, it’s deep and painful. But your daddy is here for you no matter what and with him by your side you are stronger than ever.

You sit in the back of the car, paci between your lips and stuffie in your arms. Your daddy checking up on you every few minutes. “You doing okay little one?” “Stings” “I know princess, we are nearly there now, the doctors will make it’s all better” “S, scary” “your precious baby, it’s okay daddy is here”.

You pull up into the car park and Bucky unbuckles you seat belt and lifts you into his arms. You clutch your stuffie in your arms as you nuzzle you head into his neck. His scent was intoxicating, causing you to slip further into your little headspace. “Lub chu dada” “awhh, I love you to sweet pea”. As you get through the emergency room doors the lights burn your eyes. The loud beeps and general chatter of the busy emergency room. You whimper in fear as you arrive at the desk. “Why hello, how can I help?” “I hurted my leg” you mumble. “Awh, daddys clever girl” . “Okay let’s get you signed in and we will get someone to see you as soon as we can” “say thank you to the kind lady” “fank chu” you say shyly “you’re welcome Iittle one” she replies handing Bucky a form and a pen. “Let’s go sit down kiddo, can you walk little one?” “Mhm” he places you on the ground and you half-heartedly run towards the a big red cushioned seat. You scoot yourself on to the seat and stare lovingly at Bucky who is signing papers on the seat next to you.

You suddenly feel a sharpe pain, it starts to tingle and burn. You scream in pain. Your paci falls out of your mouth and on the floor. “Baby what is it?” “My leg is really hurting” you say between cries. Bucky slowly unwraps your bandage. Your leg is pulsing, each cut is raised, glowing red and oozing with green and yellow puss like blood. “Jesus doll, Doc we need help over here!!” The doctor runs over, “oh we need to get this sorted NOW.” The doctor grabs a wheelchair and Bucky places you lightly in it. You are in too much pain and panic to think about your dropped paci. And Bucky is too worried to notice. They rush you into a private room. The doctor call for a colleague. His colleague enters and stares at your leg in shock. “This need cleaning and she need a tetanus shot.” You hear the word shot and scream. “No No NO. Don’t like shot. Daddy make them stop. I wan go home!!” He grabs your hand. “Awh princess I know. But the doctors need to fix you up. It’s infected baby and if you don’t get a shot you could get really sick.” “Please dada don’t let them hurt me!” “It’s okay doll, it will only hurt for a second and it will help with the pain of your leg. Daddy is here and he will not leave your side” “wan paci” “where did you put it baby?” You start to panic. “I- l...” you burst into tears. “I lost it dada”. “It’s okay sweetie daddy will find it.” “Please don’t leave me” you cry harder. The doctors turns to Bucky, “it’s okay, I will get one of my nurses to look for it, where did she leave it.” “It must be in the waiting room” a few minutes later the nurse runs in with your paci, “did you clean it” the doctor asks her. “Yes doc” “thank chu pretty lady” “Awh you so sweet, your welcome love” your daddy hands it to you. “You’re a good girl”. “Okay we are going to give her a numbing shot so we can clean the area efficiently.” “Okay are you going to be a brave girl for the doctors?” “Mhm” you mumble. “Good girl, squeeze daddy’s hand”. You grab buckys hand and start to squeeze as the doctor give you the numbing shots. “All done” “see I knew you could be brave” you smile. “Now you will still feel this, but it won’t be as painful” he takes a wipe and cleans your leg, he can now see how deep the cuts are. And can see that a few will need gluing. The only thing stopping them from bleeding was the thick dried blood clotting the gash. “Sir can I speak to you outside?” “Is it okay if daddy talks to the nice doctor outside sweet pea?” “Okay dada” he kisses your forehead and boops your nose with his finger. You let out a little giggle. “Good girl”

“Sir some of those cuts are rather deep, do you mind telling me how this happened?”, “well y/n suffers with quite a few issue and self harm is something she has done for awhile now. She was getting better but last night she had an episode. She told me she was too scared to wake me.” “Okay we are going to have to glue some of the cuts together to stop the bleeding.” “Yeah she is not going to like that, it’s okay I will convince her. Could you give us a few minutes alone?” “Of course, can we give her the shot first?” “Of course doctor” the two men re-enter the room. “Hey princess, the doctor is going to give you the shot now. Can you be a brave girl?” “Yes daddy” he smiles at you. “Good girl” you blush and hide you face. “Okay you ready for the shot y/n?” “I guess so” you turn away and squeeze your daddy’s hand. “All done” “wow that was fast, thank you” “your welcome little miss. I will leave you to alone for a few minutes” “thanks doc” Bucky replies.

“I am so so proud of you baby. You are such a good girl when we are done here we can go to the store and you can get some new stuff. Would you like that doll?” “Yes please daddy!” You kiss his chin. He lets out a little chuckle. “Now I have some news baby.” You tilt you head. “the doctor is going to have to glue some of the cuts to stop the bleeding. I know it sounds scary but it’s going to be okay, because you a brave little girl.” Tears form in your eyes. “Okay daddy, me scared but daddy will protect me” “that’s right baby daddy is here”. The doctor re-enters. “You all ready?” “Mhm” you reply. “Good let’s get started” you close your eyes and place your head in buckys lap. He strokes your head and reassuring you. “Your doing amazing baby” “daddy is here”. A few minutes go by Bucky still stoking your head and reassuring you. “All done, you did really well there missy” “thank chu. Am I fixeded now?” “Yep your all good to go. We are going to give you some medicine to help with the infection and we just need to bandage you up” the doctor wraps a clean bandage around you leg. And the nurse arrives with some pills. “Here you go. I heard you did really well. Your a brave little girl.” “Yes she is. Now it’s time to get you a little reward, isn’t it princess.” “Mhm” you say hiding you face. “Come I then kiddo. Make sure you thank the doctor and the kind nurse lady.” “Thank you for fixing me. And thank you for finding my paci!” “Awh your very welcome. If you have any issues just come back and see us” “okay thank you doctor” Bucky picks you up and placed you on his hip. “You got everything princess” “yep paci and stuffie” “good girl” he carries you out to the car and straps you in your seat.

“I am so so proud of you sweetie. You were so brave. You got THREE shots!! Like a big girl” you giggle. “Now reward time” you giggle again. “Yes baby girl” Bucky chuckle.

I just want to say thank you for the feedback on the first part. I’m am glad that people enjoy it. And I want to say I am so so proud of everyone little, middle, caregiver and anyone else who stumbles along this page who is struggling or has struggled with S/H it will get better and don’t let relapses disheartened you. I am proud no matter what. If you 1 day clean or 5 years clean. You are so brave. My message are always open if anyone needs to chat :)