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vidavalor · 3 years

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Bucky flirting with Sam as part of the changing times theme in Ep 5...

This is on the long side. Contains brief mention of the show basically canonizing Bucky as a sexual assault survivor. It’s meta on Bucky and Sam’s identity themes and how the show is shifting into a theme of changing times with the latest episodes-- mostly about how Bucky’s journey is paralleling Sam’s, even while being a different kind of journey.

One of the more interesting subtle themes of Ep 5 is that while we have had a lot of emphasis in the earlier episodes on how much horror still exists in America-- and a very right, necessary emphasis-- as the show begins to pivot towards the part of Sam’s journey that involves him deciding to become Captain America, they are pivoting a bit to illustrate that as much as many things have, unfortunately, not changed the way they should have over time, a lot really has. (Also, the Sam-as-Captain-America thing isn’t meant to be a spoiler as I don’t really totally know if that’s the ending, it just seems um... really the only place this story is going...) They have been using Isaiah to illustrate this point for Sam quite a bit in Ep 5, especially. The core conflict comes from Isaiah believing that a self-respecting Black man wouldn’t want to fight for America after the horrors that have been done to Black people in its history, which is not something that Sam ultimately feels is true. He definitely feels the pain of Black history in America but he still believes *in* America and views it as his country and is accepting that everyone in it really has a role to play in making it live up to the ideals it espouses but has still yet to achieve. In deciding to appreciate Isaiah choosing to open up to him and share his story but respectfully disagree with him on what to do next-- and to have his ability to make this choice reinforced by Sarah supporting him by saying she knows he will choose to fight in the fights he believes in and she has his back-- Sam is choosing to become a symbol of something, even if he’s just a man, and he’s affirming to himself that it is okay for him to believe in this thing he believes in. It’s okay for him to believe in America and love America and what it stands for, even in all its extremely imperfect glory, because he can be the change he wants to see in the world. He knows there are many people who will support him in that and that it only happens if we make it happen and that America, in all its imperfection, has made a lot of positive change happen throughout its short history.

You know who else is enjoying similar truths in the same episode? Bucky.

Bucky arrives in Delacroix all “Hello, 21st Century! I’ve always wanted to flirt with a man in public! I will be over here, lifting heavy stuff and getting in the personal space of your next Captain America, Good People of Delacroix, Louisiana!” What’s so endearing about this is not even just that this is clearly the first time that Bucky has felt like he has some control over his own mind, after proving he can manage The Winter Soldier in him a bit in the last few episodes, but that he’s working towards this kind of peace in a time where he really no longer has to hide any part of himself. Long before The Winter Soldier, Bucky was so the guy with a girl on each arm and a guy in the dark of the back alley. He has never, in his entire century-plus of living, been able to really be who he is without fear. It’s not as if there is not any fear left for LGBTQIA people in the world because, sadly, of course there is but loving Sam would have gotten Bucky arrested twice over in the 1940s. Interracial marriage was illegal until the Loving Act of 1967-- and that was still just for heterosexual couples. Obviously, same-sex marriage wasn’t legalized in the U.S. until 2015. If Bucky had been caught with a man in his youth, let alone a Black man, they both would have been arrested. Even if they were let go (and Bucky would have been more likely to suffer less, on account of being white), their reputations and ability to work and serve in the military could have been impacted.

The show toys with this with Bucky’s interest in exploring it, even through the haze of a lot of severe trauma, back in Episode 1. While he’s mainly eating at the sushi bar because he’s befriended Yori on account of his amends project, he is living in a very modern existence by regularly conversing with these two. Consider that the show chose to make both of them Japanese, basically to illustrate that Bucky, in a sense, was always progressive for his time period. Bucky *could* have been the kind of WW2 soldier who forever saw people of the countries the Allies fought against as an enemy-- your grandfathers and great-grandfathers who never stopped hating the Japanese. But he’s not. He actually comes off as someone whose inability to fit the mode of the heterosexual white American guy in his own time period lent him a lot of empathy towards others and I might be wrong about this because I can’t quite recall at the moment but wasn’t he drafted, as opposed to enlisted? It’s doubtful he even really wanted to fight, although he’s always up for a fight against a bully and clearly hated the Nazis (but wanting to fight fascism makes you far from intolerant.) My point is that Bucky, back in Ep 1, is already experimenting with how living in the 21st century could be a positive thing for him in a life he might want to make for himself, if he can get through his trauma enough to do so.

He eats lunch on the regular with a man who is, in all likelihood, descended somewhere from at least one person who fought on the enemy side to Bucky in WW2. He regularly chats with Leah, who is completely unlike anyone he would have been able to talk to in the 1940s and seems almost designed to be *exactly* that intentionally-- she is a woman with a job that wasn’t like a nurse or a teacher or Peggy Carter lol. She tends bar, a job that was virtually exclusively male in the ‘40s. She has open visible tattoos and is probably putting herself through college-- something that women were just being able to attend, usually in female-only settings. She makes her own money and lives as a single woman, likely without the express intention on getting married and having a family relatively soon. (There’s nothing wrong with any of that. It’s more just that it would have been the exception, rather than the norm, in Bucky’s youth.) Atop that, she is Asian and works in a Japanese restaurant-- the ultimate business that would have suffered during the ‘40s as America didn’t exactly do right by its Japanese-Americans during the war and if Bucky, a white soldier, had been seen with a Japanese girl, it would have been bad for him but worse for her.

So the reason why Yori has noticed that Bucky always looks at Leah when they eat lunch is probably less about the attraction Yori assumed Bucky had for her and more that Leah is this personal fascination for Bucky-- a human being who is basically the total embodiment of everything that has changed in the world since Bucky was last freely a part of it. Yori assumes Bucky wants a date but Bucky really wants what he ultimately got out of it, which is more just to talk to her a bit.

They also play Battleship, which is kind of darkly funny. The game originated after WW1 and used to be played on paper. It soared into popularity in the 1930s and has never stopped being popular ever since-- so, in essence, the game they play is the one part of this that, like Bucky, has been in existence the whole time. It has taken on different forms, though. It became a plastic board game in the ‘60s and has been modernized a few times but it’s still here. (It’s also funny that Bucky is kind of losing the game with her, symbolizing that he’s not entirely figured out this whole modern world yet, even if he’s very interested by it.)

But the big thing is that Bucky is beginning to edge away from just observing this new world and trying to decide how he wants to participate in it. He’s basically decided that he might like to and while his heart is completely with Sam, he’s also afraid of himself and his ability to potentially destroy that one really strong wish he has to be with him, so he’s pushing him away by not answering his texts. He’s likely also, atop insecurity in himself, literally terrified at the idea of hurting Sam not just physically-- through some nightmare or some untapped Winter Soldier potential or failing to protect him-- but through the fact that he’s a guy from the 1940s who has literally never openly dated a man, had Black friends during the war but that was decades ago and is not really sure how to do this.

Forced into a date with Leah, he experiments with the modern world in a way because he’s here because sure, he likes her and all but he was more just interested in her world than her personally and he just didn’t want to disappoint either her or Yori, so he showed up. She seems fairly trustworthy (and he trusts no one but Sam and Yori, so that’s a start) but what he wants really is to say aloud to someone for the first time that he likes men. To see how that goes in this modern era. (Depending on how you take Bucky and Steve, he could have put this into words to Steve at one point, likely way back when, but it’s also possible that they both just knew and didn’t talk about it. Either way, you didn’t go around telling people you didn’t trust in the ‘40s and it’s doubtful that he’s ever just said it to anyone and for sure not on a regular basis.)

He even knows that this wouldn’t be a deal breaker for a woman, necessarily, in the modern era, which is probably blowing his mind a bit because you would have been hard-pressed to find a woman who would admit to someone she didn’t implicitly trust that back in the ‘40s and it wouldn’t have been so open and accepted. What he really wants in Leah is a new friend and she seems to sense that-- she likes this weird guy with the circulation problem that is nice enough to lunch with the old man at her restaurant, he seems okay enough, if broody and sad, so why not talk to him for a bit? She totally thinks he’s just a closet case (she’s not wrong lol) and won’t really be crushed by him rushing out of the date beyond like “too bad, he was pretty hot” but for Bucky, this is the likely the first time he’s ever casually chatted with another human being about his attempt at finding a guy he likes.

It’s actually really sweet in that he’s still sort of coding it a bit, if not that much. He’s still a bit nervous about this so he’s saying tiger pictures to reference men so he can say it without saying it. Leah gets it and just kind of rolls with it and probably has zero idea how big a deal it was for the century-old guy sitting at the bar.

He might have been intentionally dramatic a bit about how it was all “a lot” but he was also telling her the truth-- he did a little exploring online. Found some men. It looked like a lot of work to stroke all these egos. Bucky’s for the modern world but he’s kind of into more old-fashioned guys. He’s got a warm-hearted soldier kink. Family man kind of guys with generous spirits. He’s considering online stuff because he’s also a guy who has been through an absurd amount of trauma-- some of which the show will just come out and say involves sexual assault, off that Selby scene-- and he’s probably considering trying to get beyond some of it by just having sex with somebody. It’s not at all an uncommon response for people who have been raped to try to get beyond it by just having sex again and you know this is yet another level of anxiety for him when it comes to the idea of having another chance at life. He’s nervous around himself at this point and doesn’t fully trust himself, so he’s not sure how he can trust other people and the one guy he *does* trust and *does* want? Bucky has that whole ‘don’t want to burden him with my own issues’ thing happening. (That’s not a bad thing when it’s a situation of expecting your partner to be your therapist, which shouldn’t happen but Bucky would and should have expectations that someone he’d have as a romantic partner can be someone he can trust to care about him and be sensitive to how his past plays into his present needs, in and out of bed.) He’d trust Sam with this but he also wants to be like... he basically feels like he met the potential love of his life while trying to kill him and just got his mind back and the timing is all wrong. It’s a lot of ‘too broken for Sam’ self-narrative.

Whether or not Bucky actually went beyond scrolling and being astounded at the unattractive insecurity of tiger pictures or whether he hooked up a time or two, it’s clear he didn’t get what he needed out of it and he gave up on it, admitting to himself that he’s really basically a tired old romantic who wants love and trust and the whole dance of things and that kind of intimacy more than the back alley casualness of online dating. This is about as far as Bucky has gotten while trying to deal with his trauma while having a truly terrible therapist: he likes sushi now and would like to have his life’s first real chance at an open, mutual, loving, romantic relationship. He just didn’t know how to get himself there.

John Walker and the shield issues actually, ironically, gave him scenarios where he could, through actions that suited him better than those his therapist had assigned. He needed to learn not to not hurt anyone but how to manage it when he did. He needed to learn how to be a soldier that protects people again, not the Winter Soldier, and that he can control that part of himself. He needed the opportunity to show Sam that he really does care, he’s just a grieving mess of a man working through being so out of time and secretly scared that he might like this time better, might have a chance at being who he is for the first time, and he doesn’t know quite what to do with that. He lets Sam in enough that they can show one another that they understand each other’s traumas. He tosses himself out of a plane for Sam in the first episode to prove he’ll follow him anywhere, that he’s strong and will survive and come back, knowing about Riley not being alive when he hit that ground. Sam responds by seeing Bucky essentially frozen in a PTSD moment of the train car on the side of that truck and grabs him out of danger. They snark and bicker but the actions speak louder than the words-- there’s caring there and want and a sense that they’re a bit gone on the other.

Sam’s trust in Bucky-- even as Bucky is still learning how to trust himself with himself-- gives Bucky a confidence boost that he was missing when he pulled away from Sam out of fear of hurting him. The whole White Panther/White Wolf scene? Sam expected Bucky to grumble or blush, he was for sure flirting with him but didn’t expect quite that amount of flirt back. Without realizing it, he had hit on the exact part of Bucky’s identity that was giving him the biggest boost, that he understood the best at that time-- the White Wolf. The White Wolf is the freed Winter Soldier, a peaceful tender of goats, a wounded warrior beloved by a community who rescued him. He represents Bucky’s recent past into his present-- being able to work for the chance to shake loose the Winter Soldier and evolve into a different version of himself. He wanted to impress Sam with that-- he saw Sam’s flirting and parried back, which he didn’t always do, because he knew it would be impressive that the Wakandans had given him a (pretty sexy actually) nickname. He’s boosted by Sam still flirting, Sam still caring, still seeing something in him he’s working on seeing himself. He has some hope, even as they fight, because his attempts at getting closer to Sam are not being rejected wholesale and Sam keeps reaching out to him, often literally. After Madripoor and after Bucky going after and finding Zemo, he feels more ready. He’s more in control of himself. He thinks he has a path to getting beyond the worst of this stuff and he might not have worked out all the details yet or figured out what it looks like but he finally feels ready to try and since Sam hasn’t rejected him, he’s going to take Yori’s advice, just with the right person and stop waiting around, stop just looking and make a move.

In a way, Sam is introduced to 1940s Bucky for the first time in Delacroix-- this is the guy he saw glimpses of but was pretty deeply buried. He’s not reverted back to the Bucky of old as how could he, after all he’s been through? But this is the flirt, the natural charmer and he’s been set free for real for the first time, without worry or fear that he can’t live a life he wants and be the person he truly is without fear of rejection of who he loves, his family and the community at large. He likes this place that is the exact opposite of everything he’s suffered-- it’s so warm, he’ll never feel frozen again, physically or emotionally. The people here don’t care about his arm or who he loves, Sam’s family has Sam’s big, warm heart and Sam? Well, Bucky’s enjoying making him a little flustered. You like that stealthy White Wolf, Sam? Well, he’s got his eyes on you. ;)

Maybe the best part of this being the parallel to Sam’s decisions about how he wants to identify when it comes to him deciding to take up the shield is that it relates to a sense of freedom that is at the core of both of Sam and Bucky’s stories and is the whole point of Captain America and how it is supposed to symbolize a fight against fascism. Bucky has been told twice in the series that he’s “free” and each were, in a sense, a bit true. Ayo tells him this when he’s free from mind control and that is a major move forward for him-- life-altering-- but he’s not free from the trauma of it. Dr. Raynor tells Bucky that he’s free now and can build whatever life he wants but we see on Bucky’s face how those statements for him, in those early episodes in New York, really are conflicting ones-- he is free from mind control but still imprisoned in his trauma and that is what is keeping him from making the life he wants. Over the course of TFATWS, alongside Sam’s journey to decide how he wants to feel about America as a Black man and what he feels he owes to the country and the country owes to him, is the story of Bucky having to build his own identity as well. The Falcon and The Winter Soldier is ultimately what these guys were-- the identities they still have at the beginning of the show. They’re going to end it Sam and Bucky, Captain America and the White Wolf. Bucky’s real sense of freedom only came when he realized he could trust himself to decide how he wanted to live, when he proved that to himself and took control over it. He’s still not completely fine-- no one really is, ever-- but he has a path now. Sam and Bucky have different identity conflicts but ultimately, at the core, their struggles with them and with what their country has asked of them and with how they want to live and what they want for themselves, is very similar and the core of a lot of why they understand one another well.

It wouldn’t surprise me if we find out that Bucky stopped answering Sam’s texts when Sam suggested he come to Delacroix. Bucky knew about the boat when he got there, the same way that Sam knew about Bucky’s nightmares, so these two were talking a lot, they were friends on a verge of more but both knowing they each had too many struggles to overcome first and I think that Sam had to have been trying to reach out and accidentally went too far. It’s kind of like in the therapy session-- most of the time, Sam is amazing at dealing with people who have been through trauma but he sometimes falls off his game with Bucky. The whole “this is what you wanted, right?” in the therapy session is frustration, it’s pushing a little too hard, it’s snarking over feeling like Bucky rejected him romantically, even if Sam understands why and probably wasn’t convinced they were ready for it anyway. It’s possible that Sam thought inviting Bucky home with him would be good for him-- and the sun and the Wilsons would have been-- but, at the time, it just made Bucky panic, which is then also why Sam just rolls over the fact that Bucky hadn’t been returning his texts when they see one another again. Sam kept reaching out to check on him but accepted the non-response because he felt like he might have kind of pushed Bucky too fast. They both know they both have feelings for one another but are scared by how much the other has to get through to get to that point and feel ill-equipped to really help one another, often blunder in their attempts to (and other times, get it just right.)

So, yeah. There’s still no shortage of conflicts to be dealt with but alongside Sam finding his path to living his truth in this modern world has been Bucky’s arc from daring to whisper about tiger photos to showing up to show off his prowess with heavy stuff and tools to win over his boyfriend in front of his family and hometown. It’s not subtext. It’s literally Bucky’s identity-themed character arc, existing in parallel to Sam’s. Just because they aren’t giving it a ton of labels does not mean that it isn’t the intent of the story.

#sambucky #buckysam #bucky barnes #bucky #sam wilson #tfatws

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itsthestutterforme · 4 years

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Psych Ward (Bucky Barnes)

Y/N and Bucky meet in a psych ward for the supernatural. Y/N defends Bucky from other guys wanting to jump him. Y/N and Bucky started to become friends.

Bucky finally convinced Steve that he belonged in a psychiatric facility. He needed mental health and guidance on how to work through the crap that HYDRA stuffed into his head. Steve visited him everyday since Bucky was admitted. The first week in the facility was the worst because of how lonely you can get.

You're figuring out where you belong and finding friends in this place. Bucky was sitting on one of the sofas, reading a book when he felt somone staring at him. He looked around the room to see a tall, slender man with jet black hair and eyes staring at him. Meeting his gaze made Bucky's skin crawl.

Nightfall came and everyone went into their rooms to sleep. Bucky was laying on his bed with his hands tucked behind his head. He stares up at the blank ceiling and thinks about how much damage he's done. There's not enough time in a decade to repent for what he did.

The sound of foot steps growing closer to his room. He stands and looks at the door to see the door handle jiggle. A faint click of a key and the door was open. It was the same man that was staring at him before. "What do you want?" Bucky asks. "To welcome you aboard, the old fashion way." The man says as he takes out a knife.

"You really don't want to do this," "You don't scare me. I've dealt with bigger, stronger men than you," "No you haven't," "Being cocky won't get you very far in here," he says as he steps closer. That's when Bucky realized that there were two other guys behind him that went into the room.

Bucky let the man punch him across the face. The last thing he needs is to be put into jail for killing someone. Y/N heard grunts and punches landing, which can only mean one thing. Jax's stupid initiation pact he made amongst the boys. This facility is meant for the gifted people with mental illnesses or had a mental break

Most of the people are class one, minimal harm or harmless. But there are few that are class three and above. Y/N being one of them, she can inflict pain onto other by touch and eye contact. Her touch is the most fatal because if she touches you for longer than a minute, you die.

"Damn it, Jax," Y/N says before standing up. "Marchelle, I need your help," she says to the telepath and telekinetic next door. "What's up?" "I need you to open up my door," "Uh uh I am not going to be sent to solitary fo--" "Please, he's a newbie." "If he's here then he has some sort of power."

"From the sounds of it, he doesn't have a great hold on it. Please, Marchelle," "Ugh, fine!" She unlocks the door and Y/N runs down the halls towards the loud sounds. She looked into the room to see two boys beating on the newbie and Jax was just about to carve out some flesh until Y/N takes off her gloves. She grabs the back of the neck of two of the boys.

Their body trembled in pain and she made eye contact with Jax. He falls to the ground and drops the knife. She let go of the boys before grabbing Jax's chin. "This is the last time you do this initiation crap, you hear me?" She waited one second longer before letting go and looking away from him.

"How did-" Bucky starts. "Down on the ground, Y/N," one of the guards says. Y/N linked her hands behind her head and says, "Where were you when Jax was about to carve into newbie here?" "Shut up," "Watch your tone. I'm coming respectfully. Don't make me change gears." she states.

"Timms, take these three to the infirmary," the main guard ordered. "A saline drip for a couple days will knock them out of it." Y/N suggested. Bucky watched the whole thing, completely confused about what just happened.

Y/N spent the last five days in solitary and when she finally got out, Bucky was the first one to approach her. "I'm sorry that I got your sent to solitary," "So what's your deal?" she asks, blowing off his previous statement. "What do you mean?" "You have a whole metal arm and you couldn't take Jax and his goons."

"I was.. I was afraid I might have killed them." "Believe me, you would have done all of us a justice." "So what exactly is your power?" "I can inflict pain on to other people by thought and touch." "Wow, that must be hard to deal with," "I've learned to manage," "How long have you been here?"

There was a moment of silence before she says, "Look, I get it. You want a friend, but I'm a lone wolf in here. I only help those that seem to need it." "Just keep your head up and stay alert. Although I'm sure you don't have to worry about Jax for a while." she adds before standing up to leave.

"Wait," Bucky says as he holds Y/N's exposed wrist. "What are you.." Y/N noticed that Bucky wasn't clenching his body in pain. And now she was more fearful than anything else. "Who are you?" she asks, ripping her hand from his grasp."I.." "What are you numb to pain or something?" "Or something," he answers.

"Just stay away from me." With that, she leaves to go back to her room. Bucky couldn't feel an ounce of pain when he touched Y/N. All he could feel was a low vibration. The next few days after that, Y/N avoided Bucky because she's never met someone that could stand her pain before. "Y/N, please, I just want to talk," Bucky pleads as Y/N walks passed him.

She stopped in her tracks before turning around. She sat down next to him and says, "About what?" "Anything. I tried to ask around about you and everyone kept quiet. Like they were scared of you or something," "It's not fear, it's respect. There's a certain respect that comes with having a level 3 or higher power."

"How long have you had this?" he asks. "I've always had it, but it reached it's peak during puberty. A lot of people died, and that's why I'm here." she explains. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault." "I was indirectly involved but still involved. The people are still dead." "How long ago was it?" "Three years, but the nightmares are still there."

"Honestly, I don't think they would go away anytime soon." he says and Y/N finally sits on the couch next to him. She leans her elbows on her knees and says, "How long have you had this arm?" "I don't remember," "What made you want to come here?" "Same reason as you. Didn't want to have the chance to hurt someone."

"We might get along better than I thought," she says and they both look at each other as they slowly started to smile.

#sebastian stan #bucky x reader #marvel

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sad-af1121 · 5 years

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A Nuisance (One-shot)

Summary: Everyone has their bad days and unfortunately yours was a mixture of exhaustion and being sick. Steve and Bucky made it their goal to make your day a little better by spoiling you the best they can but how could they help when every ounce of physical love annoyed you? | Marvel AU | Pairings: Stucky x Reader Word Count: 2.4k Warnings: language, some angst? (idk if you count a pouty steve as angst but sure) fluff, comedy and cute-ness overload

A/N: i’m sorry in advance if it seems rushed but i really did try to make it comedic and cute. It’s been a rough two weeks and i really wanted to get this done before the deadline for @babylevines writing challenge! Congrats on the 4k follower's babe! I hope you enjoy :3 Prompt: “Touch me with your cold feet one more time and see what happens.” | Thanking @isaxhorror for giving this a look through! Feedback is welcomed 💜

“They didn’t have any fresh lemons at the store so I got generic lemon juice,” Bucky informed Steve, shutting the front door of their shared apartment. He set the grocery bags on the kitchen island before pulling the contents out from the bags.

Steve turned away from the stove, his eyes scanning the counter. “Buck, why are there so many ice cream flavors? I asked you to get what Y/N likes.”

Bucky sighed, “I didn’t get one flavor of ice cream because I figured if I got the ones she likes, she can pick based off her mood when she gets back home.” He shrugged and walked to the fridge. Steve hummed to Bucky’s remark since he did have a point.

You were called in to work in the early hours of the day, the sun wasn’t even shining through the dull grey-blue skies yet and on top of that, you were fighting a small cold. If it wasn’t for your stubbornness and your passion to work, Steve and Bucky wouldn’t have let you leave, let alone leave the bed. They constantly checked on you, knowing you were going to end up very cranky and exhausted for the rest of the day. After they both came back home from work, they decided to pamper you for the night.

The house chores and dinner would be done by the time you got home. All you would have to do was rest and enjoy the evening and the following weekend with your boys. However, they were hoping that their plan would work and brighten up your mood, but that would be something they’d have to wait and see.

“Buck-”

“She’s parking the car,” Bucky smirked, looking up from his phone screen. “I’ve been texting Babygirl all day. Chill dude, worst-case scenario, she throws a pillow at you for treating her like some fragile pup.”

“Ha, ha. Shut up,” Steve swallowed, throwing a kitchen towel over his shoulder. He was only this way when you weren’t feeling your best. If the world came crumbling down, Steve would make sure to be your shield, protecting you from any harm because you meant everything to him. Both you and Bucky kept the flame of life burning in his chest.

The sound of keys jingling and the doorknob turning caught both of Bucky and Steve’s attention as they prepared themselves for you. Door swinging open, you trudged into your apartment, shutting the door behind you before slumping against the hard flat surface.

Nose slightly discolored with droopy eyelids, you sniffled, sighing in what sounded like a tinge of satisfaction, “I’m hoooome!” You strained, voice raspy and heavy due to your sinus acting up again. Steve involuntarily pouted, his heart aching to see the sight of you so sick and tired. Bucky clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, steadying himself from the anger that was bubbling from within. He craved nothing more than to call your bosses and tell them a thing or two about a proper workplace and how to respectfully treat employees who were under the weather.

Who else calls someone in to work and put others in jeopardy for getting them sick? It’s diabolical.

Giggling at yourself, you move away from the door and set your things to the side, stepping into the kitchen, “What’s all this?” Eyes roaming across the stove then to the dining table, you saw dinner had been made and set for you. The corners of your lips twitched into a lopsided smirk as you looked up at Steve.

“You didn’t have to do all this, baby. We could have ordered take out. I know how hard work can be on you two,” you turned and looked at Bucky who was already standing behind you with a smirk to mirror yours.

“We wanted to do this for you, doll. You work so hard too, ‘n hell, if we want to spoil you, we will. Periodt.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, cringing. “I get your trying to stay hip and modern but PLEASE don’t say that word around me again,” you chuckled as did the boys.

Both Bucky and Steve began to walk toward you and your gut knew they wanted a kiss, but you stopped them the minute they got close, placing a hand on their chests. “I’m sick remember? I don’t think you guys want to get close to me.”

“We’ll be fine. We’re super-”

“Yeah, yeah, super soldiers but I’m not risking it, Steve. Once I’m feeling better, I’ll repay you guys in so many kisses that you’ll be sick of me. But as of right now, I don’t want to be touched,” you sighed, looking between Bucky and Steve.

Bucky nodded and looked at Steve who seemed to be having a hard time dealing with your mood. You saw how his jaw clenched, his heart feeling the slight sting from how forward you were with your emotions and it wasn’t like Steve was against it. He needed to adjust. There was no doubt that Steve didn’t respect your wishes and so he stepped away, clearing his throat before busying himself in washing the dishes from cooking. You swallowed thickly, a small pout forming along your lips.

“Hey, America’s ass.”

Steve turned and you blew him a kiss, hoping it would warm his heart and silently tell him you loved him. When he smiled back, a twinkle forming in his eyes, you knew he was okay. The feelings of content and relief washing over you. It was Bucky’s turn now and you did the same, blowing a kiss, then giggling right after.

His lips bloomed into a toothy grin, his eyes sparkling with admiration and bashfulness. You found this incredibly adorable and you couldn’t help but ruffle his hair. After that, you headed to the bedroom to change into your pj’s.

Once you disappeared into your room, Steve stepped away from the kitchen and joined Bucky on the couch who was playing a game on his phone.

“Don’t mess with Y/N, okay? I think she’d find your annoyance anything but cute today. You saw how she’s acting. Wouldn’t want to ruin her night if you two end up arguing,” Steve warned with a sigh, reminding his lover. On your usual days, you’d find Bucky’s teasing hilarious and downright appealing. However, when you suffered through a rough day like today, for example, you and Bucky would get into a banter that neither parties like to endure. It wasn’t severely serious or anything of that sort and always ended up in kisses and hugs but Steve wanted to avoid that at all costs.

Maybe he was treating you like a small puppy dog after all.

***

“Ugh, baby. You’re the fucking beeeest,” you groaned into your food, your eyes practically rolling inside your head. Your taste buds pranced with happiness, the flavors bringing waves of satisfaction and desire for more. The heat from your supper opened your pores and sinus which allowed some of your tasting senses to come alive.

Steve grinned brightly, looking over at Bucky who chuckled at the blonde for his victory smile. “Had to make my girl happy.”

“You mean our girl, jerk,” Bucky corrected, playfully glaring into Steve’s eyes whilst ripping a piece of baguette with his teeth, chomping on the bread. Steve’s face twisted with disgust and you barked out a laugh, your cheeks warming to how possessive they were getting over you.

“Okay, okay, chillax dudes. I don’t want any bloodshed over dinner. Y’all can wait till after I’m done,” you snorted as Bucky threw a piece of bread at you. You threw one in return which started a mini food war.

“No. Nooope,” Steve got up from the table and opted to eat on the kitchen island. “Totally unnecessary,” he whispered under his breath and it became unfortunate for him because you and Bucky ended up throwing food at him instead.

After dinner, the three of you decided to watch a movie since it was a Friday and none of you had to wake up early the next day. Bucky was picking out a movie, trying to connect his phone to the TV since he found a site that posted movies online without having to leave the comfort of your home and going to the movie theatre.

You quietly sat on the couch with a blanket wrapped around your body, waiting for Bucky. Technology wasn’t his thing but you gave him some room to try before you helped. It was the only way he was going to learn and you loved when he figured it out himself, his charming yet victorious smile blossoming across his face when he succeeded.

Steve had filled three bowls of popcorn since everyone ate theirs differently. Bucky didn’t like too much butter but you did and Steve was just in the middle with added caramel popcorn in the mix so it wasn’t unusual when you guys had your own popcorn rather than share it. He strolled into the living room, setting the bowls on the coffee table before deciding to take a seat next to you.

In Steve’s mind, he thought since dinner was successful and you seemed to be in a better mood, you wouldn't mind if he cuddled, missing the warmth of your body and the touch he just craved so often. It relaxed his every sense, any contact sending an electrifying current throughout his body and sparking something in his heart. You felt like home and being touch-starved by you today wasn’t sitting so nicely with Steve.

Throwing his arm over your shoulder, Steve adjusted himself on the couch before feeling his arm being lifted off your shoulders and into his lap.

“Steve, c’ mon babe. I’m really not in the mood. I’m sorry,” you huffed, a tinge of annoyance lacing your words. “I warned you earlier about getting yourself sick.” You scooted away from him, hoping your soft eyes would make up for it but Steve just growled, getting up and fetching his sketchbook from the shelf by the television.

Not only did he sit away from you but he ignored your attention, frustration weighing on his shoulders. He flipped through the pages of his book in search for a clean page to draw his emotions on and you mentally kicked yourself in the ass because you pushed Steve’s limit.

Huffing in remorse, you snuggled against your blanket, cozying up with the soft material that smelled of lavender. Bucky had finally gotten the movie to play, rushed to the couch and decided to sit with you since Steve was sulking on the other couch.

About 45 minutes into the movie, Bucky had his legs spread out, his head resting on the armrest while his body laid straight, his feet almost touching you. Lost in the plot of the film, you hadn’t noticed he pushed his sockless, icy cold feet under your blanket, the warmth wrapping itself around them. It brought a sort of relief that he wanted more warmth. More from you.

So that was when he touched his feet against your heated thighs, his toes digging in and out of your skin as if he was trying to massage you like a cat would knead a pillow. Instantly, you withdrew a breath, your senses coming into reality. The cold shook you like a bolt of lightning, your nerves screaming for an escape. You allow a few minutes to go by, assuming he’d halt his actions. But the longer you waited, the more he thought it was an invitation to continue.

The only solution you knew at the time was to take deep steady breaths, ignoring the fact that his freezing cold feet were touching your hot skin which brought a shiver throughout your body. You already had the chills due to your sickness and Bucky wasn’t making things any better for you now. What was up with your boyfriends today?

“Holy shit,” Bucky laughed at the television, pulling his legs back. You nipped your lips in happiness, doing a small victory dance in your head. Just as you’re getting comfortable again, Bucky placed his feet back in its previous position, causing you to huff out loud.

“Touch me with your cold feet one more time, and see what happens.”

Both Bucky and Steve whipped their heads towards you, their brows knitting together in confusion. You stare back at them, widening your eyes then signaling down with your eyes to show them the issue.

Inhaling deeply, Bucky paused the movie, “Jesus, really? You could’ve just asked me baby before threatening me.”

Those words alone brought a lump of guilt in your throat. You were very snappy today and it wasn’t like you to get this annoyed.

“Fuck, sorry,” you pouted. “I think I should just get to bed and leave you guys alone. I promise to be better tomorrow,” you whined quietly, your eyes darting between the two.

Bucky silently gnawed on his lower lip before turning his attention to Steve and winking at the old soul. Steve himself was utterly confused but he knew that mischievous smirk in Bucky’s eyes which gave him everything he needed to know.

As you were ready to leave the couch, Bucky leaped towards you, trapping your body underneath his as he playfully growled against your neck and jaw. You had no time to react differently, only the sounds of laughter breaking past your lips. Then came his fingers digging in your sides, the familiar zaps of delight coursing through your nerves. Tickling made your body turn into putty because once someone started, it was harder for you to escape their hold than it was to take it all in and not laugh.

Steve took this time to record a video of the events unfolding in front of his eyes, using a filter that made voices very high pitched. It was one of his favorites when he made videos and he couldn’t get over the fact it made people sound like they were on helium.

“Steve! St-stop recording and save m-meee!” you exclaimed, trying to catch your breath.

Your shrieks of bliss and neediness were enough for Steve to toss his book to the side and pull Bucky off your body, throwing the brunette to the ground with a loud thud.

“What the fuck, Steve!”

“Save it punk. Meet us in the room,” he breathed out a chuckle, sweeping you off the couch and carrying you to your bedroom. You buried your face into his chest in attempts to hide the growing smile that ached your cheeks even more. But you knew he already saw it and now he was going to make sure he gets all the kisses and cuddles he wants.

Even if that meant getting sick because Steve and Bucky would risk everything for you.

__________

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solign0501 · 6 years

Text

Shall We Begin

Part 19

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: As a SHIELD agent your work alongside the Avengers means you and Bucky start to get to know each other but then one day you are ordered to go under cover away from him. When the mission goes wrong, the Avengers are called in for a rescue.

Warnings: Reference to torture/ some bad language

A/N: I’m looking to start wrapping this one up soon. As always I’m overwhelmed by the love for this! Can’t wait to share other stories with you all :)

Loki sat down next to you as the engines roared into life and you stiffened.

“Are you kidding me?” you said, motioning to literally every other empty seat around. “Do you have a death wish?”

“Quite possibly,” Loki admitted with a shrug. “I'm assuming Fury filled you in on the plan?”

“He did, but I don't see why we need to discuss it. Or why you need to talk at all, for that matter.” Loki sighed and closed his eyes, gathering his patience. Thor, Nat and Wanda all looked on, each ready to pounce but also each reluctant to interfere. Nat turned to do the cockpit checks and you buckled yourself in, resigned to the fact that Loki wasn't going anywhere for at least the next ten minutes.

“Look,” Loki began and it was your turn to sigh. “I know you might not appreciate what I am saying, but I am sorry. I had no right to do what I did...”

“So then why do it?” you asked bluntly. You saw him flinch out of the corner of your eye. Thor, who absolutely, totally, 100% was not listening in to your conversation, also flinched and Wanda slapped him lightly for giving the game away. Groaning in frustration, you ignored them and turned your full attention on Loki who, full credit to him, looked genuinely contrite as he met your eyes. “Why did you do it, Loki? We got on well, we were almost friends, so why did you have to screw everything up?”

“Because I care about you, Y/N,” he said honestly. His candour made you pause for a second as you scrutinised his face, looking for any hint that he might be lying through his teeth. There wasn't one. “From the first moment I saw you, I was fascinated by you. You are different to everybody else here. They are jaded, wounded by what they have seen and experienced, but you still maintain a love of the world. You are fiercely intelligent and incredibly wise, but you disguise it with a natural curiosity towards everything and you defend what you love with a ferocity that I admire. I look at you, and I see myself.”

“I'm nothing like you,” you spat at him automatically.

“An outsider, brought into this world near death, taught and raised by a family who aren't your blood, so much a part of them and yet still feeling at heart like you don't belong? No, you are right, you're nothing like me.” His voice dripped his customary sarcasm but you felt the truth behind them like a blow to your chest. How had he nailed how you feel so well, only knowing you so little?

“Okay,” you conceded after a few moments of silence. “Say you're right, say I am like you. That still doesn't explain what gives you the right to do what you did to me... to Bucky.” Loki had the decency to look ashamed.

“It doesn't, and I am prepared to spend time and effort making up for that. In my defence, I wanted you. I wanted to get to know you, to be with you. I saw the way you looked at him, how you were with him and I wanted that.” You looked back at him and for the first time, you really observed him. He was handsome, there was no doubt about that, it was something you'd noticed straight from the off, but there was a strength about him, something deep but also dangerous. His eyes, however, were heart-wrenchingly sad and as you looked into them you felt almost sorry for him. The quinjet was now level in the air and you took the chance to unbuckle yourself, turning to face him. Gently, you cupped your hand over his.

“Loki, I'm flattered, really I am. In another life, maybe I could be yours, I won't deny you're attractive and despite every bit of sense telling me not to, I actually kinda like you.” A smile played on his lips at your words, fading as he braced himself for the inevitable.

“But...” he supplied, anticipating your next word.

“However,” you said, smiling slightly. “However, this isn't another life and I love Bucky. I love him with all my heart and as much as I appreciate what you are saying, I'm sorry but you don't compare.” Loki nodded with a sigh and gave your hand a squeeze before letting it go.

“Thank you,” he said, “for your honesty. I hope eventually to earn your forgiveness.”

“Help us make things go right today,” you promised, “and it's yours.” You spent the rest of the flight in companionable silence, an understanding reached between the two of you.

The flight was set to last for several hours so you took the time to go over the plan with the others, the intercom open between the two jets. Everything was discussed in detail apart from one crucial part – yours. Fury had advised it was strictly between you and Loki. Nat, obviously, now knew and she was under instruction from Fury that everybody was to guard Loki and wait for the signal. They just didn't know that the signal was meant to come from you.

Nerves started to set in as you landed. You hadn't been on a proper mission since you joined the Avengers, just the odd recon here and there. You certainly hadn't stepped foot in this part of the world since your capture and torture at the hands of Lukin. The thought of him, of maybe coming face to face with him again made your skin crawl. Loki looked at you, sensing the shift in your mood and placed a hand gently on your shoulder. You glanced up at him and smiled. As much as he had screwed things up for you in the past 24 hours, you knew he regretted it and you were oddly comforted to be having him at your side for what was to come. The only thing missing was Bucky.

“You know he'll have your back, right Y/N?” Nat said, once again demonstrating her almost uncanny ability to read minds. You weren't entirely convinced she actually couldn't. There was much you didn't know about the Russian beauty, and some things you were sure you didn't want to know. More than once you had spotted the handcuffs hanging on the corner of the bedpost, and you knew from the way she often wore long-sleeved tops or conveniently thick bracelets that they weren't just there for a kink. Stories of the Red Room had chilled your blood, but you never had the courage to ask her about it. Maybe one day you would, just not today.

“I know,” you said, realising you hadn't actually answered her aloud yet. “I just wish we could tell him what we're actually doing.” Nat shook her head as she started to strap on what constituted virtually an armoury's worth of weapons to various parts of her suit.

“He would only try to stop you, they all would.”

“And you wouldn't?” you asked, genuinely curious. Nat smiled.

“I know you can handle yourself. Besides,” she said, tucking a particularly sharp looking knife into her left boot, “I've got your back too.”

“Good to know,” you said, meaning it.

Coulson was there to meet you as you landed, the other jet having touched down next to the zephyr only moments before.

“Good to see you, how was your flight?” he asked as you walked off the jet and over to him. You shook his hand warmly, asking after his health and the rest of the team. Daisy came skipping around the side of the quinjet at the sound of your voice and wrapped you in a warm hug.

“Hey Y/N,” she said with a huge grin, “how you been?”

“I'm good thanks, you?”

“Great!” She held you at arms length and looked you up and down. “Nice suit there, Shadow,” she said with a wink. You rolled your eyes.

“Thanks, Quake,” you shot back, matching her smile before turning back to Coulson. “Has Director Fury filled you in?” you asked. Coulson simply nodded and motioned for you to follow him. Everybody else was just inside the zephyr, talking to Coulson's team and getting a general feel for the situation. You felt Bucky's gaze on you as you walked up the ramp, your arm around Daisy's waist, feeling for a few minutes like your old self.

FitzSimmons smiled and waved at you warmly as they poured over a 3D map with Tony and Steve, pinpointing the areas where they could best place certain members of the team to effectively surround the Hydra cell.

“We've tracked them to a compound, looks like an old Winter Soldier training facility,” Coulson said as you joined them, gesturing respectfully to Bucky. He looked down at the map where the compound was and nodded.

“I recognise this place. There's a version of the machine used to wipe me in there. It isn't a chair but it's just as effective. They would use that when I was less willing to comply,” he said simply. Your chest tightened at his words and you resisted the urge to go over to him and wrap your arms around his waist.

“Well, in that case I suggest we keep you out of there,” May said, walking up to the table and joining in the briefing. “Y/N,” she said with a nod to you. It wasn't much, but for May it was practically a hug and you smiled at her.

“Good plan,” Coulson concurred. There was little more discussion about positions and then it was time to move out. Coulson drew you to one side as everybody dispersed to get ready. “Last chance to back out,” he said in his soft, fatherly tone. You feared Fury, but you respected Coulson. He was a good, brave man with a great sense of humour and the best collection of Captain America memorabilia you had ever seen. You hadn't realised how much you had missed him until you saw him again.

“Positive, sir,” you said, old habit slipping back in. He chuckled.

“We're with you, right where you need us,” he said, reassuring you. “Just give the signal and we can be in and have you out within minutes.” You glanced over at Loki, realising you were now putting your trust completely in him.

“Let's hope I don't need you,” you said.

“For once, I'll be pretty happy for you not to.” It was your turn to chuckle and, without a care for who was watching, you embraced him.

Bucky watched, suspicious. He knew about your love and respect for Coulson, but he also knew that you still regarded him as your superior in S.H.I.E.L.D., so why were you now hugging him openly. Come to think of it, why hadn't you been mentioned by name or code name whilst discussing strategy. He shook his head to clear his mind. There had to be a logical explanation, he thought. It wasn't until you were all in position that his fears started to become a reality.

“Got nothing showing on the drones,” Fitz said over the comms as he scoured the readout in front of him. “Falcon, anything on Redwing?” You had all tried to discourage Fitz from using your hero names, but he hadn't listened. This was too good an opportunity for him to pass up on. Not that Sam minded one little bit.

“Little guy got nothing,” Sam said. You could almost hear the smile in his voice at the fact that Fitz had mentioned his mini-me by name. “All quiet this end. Natasha?”

“All clear,” came the reply. You knew that she and Bucky were hidden up on a rock formation that overlooked the complex, having taken out a guard already posted there with minimum effort. From there they both had a good view of the valley below. This comforted you. Personal feelings aside, there was nobody better to be watching you from above.

“Ready?” Coulson asked, turning to look at you and Loki.

“Ready,” Loki agreed, you simply nodded. You turned your back to Loki and laced your hands together behind you. With surprising tenderness, he cuffed you in a pair of Asgardian manacles. You turned back to him and blinked as he passed a hand over your face. You could feel the skin changing and oddly enough it tickled. You had discussed the idea of him giving you real wounds, but he was vehemently against it, choosing to use his illusions instead to make it seem like you were battered and bruised during capture.

“Shall we?” he whispered and you nodded. With another wave of his hand, you vanished. You were still there in the flesh, and you could see everybody, but the muted gasp from Simmons and the thinly veiled look of awe from Fitz reassured you that to them, at least, you were completely invisible. Loki smiled at you, letting you know he could still see you clearly.

“Now everybody maintain your positions,” Coulson said firmly as you both staggered on. “We need to be ready.”

Bucky watched from above as Loki strutted across the open area towards the compound, his hand held oddly out to his right, as though gripping something. He was about to look down through the sniper-scope to see what on earth the shady Asgardian was doing when movement caught his eye on top of the compound.

“Sniper,” he breathed into the comm, adjusting his scope to get a clear image. “Want me to take him?”

“Not yet,” Coulson warned, “we need this to be believable.” Bucky watched as Loki stopped at the foot of the complex. The thick steel door opened a crack and a pair of armed guards appeared, weapons trained on Loki. Bucky kept his focus on the sniper, however, who was scoping the area from his vantage point atop the lone tower. The Avengers were old hat at this, though and try as he might, he wasn't going to spot anybody until they wanted to be seen.

“I am Loki, of Asgard,” Loki said to the guards, his voice sounding clearly through the comms. “I'm here to speak to Aleksander Lukin.” You knew he was using All Speak as the guards appeared to understand him as easily as you could. You made a mental note to ask him or Thor how that worked when all this was over.

The guard motioned for Loki to step forward and he did, arms raised, as one of the guards frisked him whilst the other kept his weapon trained firmly on him just in case. The first guard found Loki's daggers tucked into the back of his otherwise apparently empty weapons belt and confiscated them, ignoring the look of disdain from Loki at his handling of his precious weapons.

Standing back, the guard got on his radio and said something in a stream what you definitely knew to be Russian and moments later the metal door screeched open again and you froze. From the shadows beyond, out stepped Aleksander Lukin, the man who had nearly taken away your life in more ways than one.

“Loki of Asgard, brother of Thor, yes?” Lukin said, eyeing his visitor warily. Loki nodded, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. One day someone would address him without mentioning his brother... one day. “I have heard much about you. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I have come to offer my assistance to the Hydra cause,” Loki said, his voice positively drenched in silver as a polite smile graced his lips. Inwardly, you thanked whatever god would listen that he was on your side, trying to ignore the tiny part of you that questioned even that considering how good an actor he was being right now.

“Oh really?” Lukin seemed amused at this prospect. “And why would we want your assistance?”

“Because I bring a gift,” Loki said simply, stepping back so that he was beside you once more. “Call it the one that got away.” He reached out and grabbed your arm in a vice-like grip and the illusion shattered, suddenly making you visible.

Lukin's pointed face broke out into a terrifying, toothy grin as he recognised you, but you barely noticed. All you cared about was Bucky's voice in your ear.

“Y/N, no!” he whispered frantically as Lukin stepped aside, motioning for Loki to enter the bunker, pushing you before him roughly, out of direct sight of your back-up.

@hillywooddestiel @imaginecrushes @thebookisbtr @fandomlover03 @rosep16 @marassberry @capandbuck @fangirllover2000 @diinofayce @characterxreader @steverogersbish @rediscoveringdebbie84

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bxrrnes · 6 years

Text

Bucky Barnes [A to Z (fluff)]

list made by @multiplefandomsimagines

[masterlist] / [request here]

A - attractive (what they find attractive)

You’re confidence. He can’t help but feel a sense of pride as he watches you take action and not let anyone get in your way, not even him. You’re not rude or arrogant of course, you just have the power to be okay with yourself so much that you don’t let anyone control you.

B - baby (do they want a family?)

Babies are a sensitive topic with Bucky. Before the war James was a player, not interested in settling down, always looking for adventure, or trouble (which ever came first). And after HYDRA it took him a long time to trust himself. Starting a family with you would be the greatest gift he could ever want but he just doesn’t feel like he deserves it just yet.

C - cuddle (how they cuddle)

Bucky Barnes is universal cuddle master. As long as it involves you wrapped up in his arms he’s all over it. First it’ll start all cute, you snuggled up to his side as he lies on his back, one arm around you shoulder, but through out the night you too will just get closer and closer. Eventually, you both wake up in a human pretzel.

D - dates (what dates with them are like)

James has tried to take you dancing but the clubs nowadays just aren’t his scene anymore which made him kinda sad but the drive-ins always cheer him up. It reminded him of being a kid again, borrowing his dad’s car to only watch 15 minutes of the movie and make out it.

E - everything (you are my...)

Rock, you are his rock. Every time he has a bad day or a mission goes wrong he goes to you. It took him a while to get close to anyone that wasn’t Steve and to have such an intimate relationship with you after everything he’s been through meant a lot. You can’t always bring him back down but you do help.

F - feelings (when they realise that they love you)

James catch really remember the one moment he figured out that he loved you. Over time he had just grow used to this certain feeling. One day he just kinda woke up and was like ‘wow, this is love, I’m in love’. He had realised just as you had walked into your shared room only wearing one of his shirts and your hair a mess. You lazily smiled at him as you flopped back into bed. He couldn’t help but wrap you up in arms.

G - gentle (are they gentle?)

Bucky is just one big cuddly bear. In the morning if you wake up before him, he’ll come up behind you and place his hands on your waist and kiss your neck whispering a sleepy ‘Good morning’. And after a long night at one of Tony’s big parties he happily helps you wash up in the shower, careful to take off all your make-up, and carry you to bed as you mumble about how hot he is.

H - hand/hold (how do they hold you? do they hold hands?)

At the start Buck hated any form of psychical affection, always worried he may accidentally hurt you. For the longest time his metal are was completely off limits, he even hated you just standing on his left side. Eventually, after many attempts, he finally gave in - of course he wasn’t that upset by it anyways. He had gotten tired of avoiding being psychical in public and finally wanted to show that you were his (respectfully, of course).

I - impression (first impression)

You had just been promoted to field agent and you couldn’t have been more happy, if only your colleagues felt the same... For your first mission you had to go undercover with with none-other than the Winter Solider. People who wanted to work with him were little to none so Fury thought it would be interesting to have both of you on the same mission, it was only recon. Many agents were not happy with this but said nothing to Fury, instead taking it out passive-aggressively on you. But you didn’t let it faze you, you knew what your job was and it wasn’t to brood over hurt feelings. He liked that. You even shook his hand when first meeting, he was cautious but still interested by you and your professionalism.

J - joker (do they pull pranks?)

Bucky isn’t a prank master but he can pull a little joke once in a while. But most of the time it’s with you, on Sam. When first introduced to the team you were confused by Sam and Bucky’s relationship, not sure if they were friends or enemies and would always try and convince Bucky not to mess with him. Eventually you saw the light and began secretly plotting with Bucky, painting Sam’s wings a bright pink, shaving his facial hair to replicate Stark’s. Tony was impressed, Sam wasn’t.

K - kisses (how do they kiss?)

His kisses are gentle but passionate. Starting of as a cheeky peck or two on the back of your neck in the morning to wake you up. Then when you finally roll over goes in, holding himself up by his metal arm and gently holding your hair with his flesh hand. You eventually need to stop him so you can get up and get dressed. And he’ll just sit there watching you, not in a creepy way, of course, but in a loving way. As you leave you’ll blow him a kiss and won’t leave until he lazily raises his hand up to mock catch it.

L - little things (what little things they love)

He loves the way you every time you come back from a mission, as you walk in the door you’ll do a little dance, strutting right up to him just to slam a folder on the kitchen island (most likely your mission report). It doesn’t matter if theres no music playing, you make up the music, as well as the dance moves.

M - memory (favourite memory together)

His favourite has to be the morning with you after your first date. It had been an amazing night so you invited him up for one more glass of wine and one thing led to another... The night had been a drunken blur so Bucky woke with a bit of a headache and you were there with an aspirin and a plate of homemade waffles with bacon on the side. He ate slowly, afraid that when he finished you would finally kick him out, but you didn’t, instead spending the rest of that day cozied up together on the coach.

N - nickel (do they spoil?)

Believe it or not being an Avenger doesn’t pay too well (because Stark is chump) but when he can he does. Most restaurants are too fancy for his liking and the people make him feel anxious so he prefers to stay home for a movie marathon then take you too all night diner. It’ll be 2 o’clock in the morning and you’ll both be eating burgers and gushing over how cool the Mad Max movies are.

O - orange (what colour reminds them of you)

Bucky has always loved blue. It reminded him of that time you too had a picnic and as you tried to feed a duckling the mother charged at you and stole all your bread. And that time you suddenly had an urge to paint so you made him drive you all the way to a 24 hour target and only every painted a blue background before giving up because the blue had started to turn a swampy green when you tried to add grass.

P - petnames (what petnames they use)

It’s stereotypical but Jame’s will only ever call you ‘Baby’ or ‘Doll’, sometime ‘Hun’ when he’s feeling extra soft. You, of course, make fun of him because of this because what kind of girlfriend would you be if you didn’t? When in front of a group of people you like to start pinching his cheeks and make baby noises, calling him ‘Huggle Bear’ and ‘Shnookims’. He instantly looses his badboy cool, turning bright red and fighting to remove you.

Q - questions (what are the questions they're always asking?)

He may look late-twenties but he actually an 80-year-old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. For a deadly assassin he is super bad at keep tabs on things. “Doll, where are my keys?” “Did you see where I left my phone?” “Shit, I can’t remember where we parked.” It’s funny until it prevents you from going home so you have to walk 15 blocks in the rain.

R - remember (their favourite memory of each other)

The first time you met Steve, Bucky’s heart skipped a beat. He had just gotten back from a mission and he found you in the Avengers Tower, laughing and chatting with his oldest friend. You walked over to him, smiling. He wrapped him arms around you as his heart started to finally stop racing. Looking up he saw Steve give him a quick nod and the thumbs up.

S - sad (how they cheer themselves/others up)

He likes to just rest his hands on your waist, after the kiss just resting his forehead against yours and swaying ever so slightly. Then he’d pull you head to rest on his chest and run his flesh hand through your hair and kiss your crown. But whenever he’s sad he just likes to stay in his room in bed so you bring him breakfast in bed and just cuddle up with him, having his rest his head on your chest.

T - talking (what they love to talk about)

He loves to think back the first time he opened up about the war. He was expecting a sad expression on your face as he detailed stories of taking down nazi bases but he was wrong. You sat there beaming, hooked onto every word. You didn’t look at him like he was a child, you look at him like he was some war hero. And to you he was. Sure, the war wasn’t glamorous but talking to you about it helped him be more comfortable with his past.

U - universe (a metaphor)

“Your body is a museum of natural disasters can you grasp how stunning that is.” - Milk and Honey, Rupi Kaur.

Buck isn’t really a poetry kinda guy but this one really did resinate with him. It’s obvious why which is kind of sad but you have to give him props for how far he’s come with accepting who he is and what he’s done.

V - very (thoughts about each other)

He can never put you in a box. You’re not the type of person that he can just label as “nice” because you’re not just “nice”. You’re a little bit of everything.

James is a rough-around-the-edges softy with a heart of gold and a metal arm. He would risk his life for anyone, doesn't matter who. You don’t just love him, you respect him as a hero and a colleague.

W - why (reasons why they love you)

Where do I begin? Maybe how gorgeous you are, how kind you are, you know how to get almost anyone out of a funk, you’re not some damsel in distress always looking for help but you know when to ask for it. Buck could list a million things but you won’t let him because although you love him dearly, you’d much rather eat than have your food go cold as he gives a big ass speech about how much he loves you. You already know he does.

X - xylophone (what's their song?)

Listen to me when I tell you Bucky loves classic rock, he’s a classic guy. But one of his favourite song is Renegade by Styx, especially because the first time he heard it was one morning when you were cleaning and blasting it throughout your apartment. You were just straight up rocking out and letting loose. And he thinks it’s kinda corny but the lyrics do somewhat relate to him.

Y - you (what you are to them)

You are his soulmate. Bucky isn’t too sure about the whole “soulmate” thing but the more time he spends with you the more he starts to believe it. This feeling he has for you isn’t just love, it’s something he can’t really put into words and he some how likes that feeling. He doesn’t want to put a label on you because he knows your more than that.

Z - zebra (what pet they want to have)

For a while Bucky wanted to adopt Rocket, but of course he was having the none of that so instead you opted for a dog. Originally you had visited the rescue centre in hopes for a puppy was Bucky was instant in love with a 5 year old Rottweiler called Muffin. He had been rescued from an underground dog fighting rink and had lost and eye as well as half an ear. Although Muffin at first did not like either of you, but after weeks of tender, love, care and lots of dog treats, he refused to leave Bucky’s side.

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