#bucky barnes always had and always will love and support Steve Rogers

[hail-americas-ass]

About to make me fucking cry.

steve: *is pretty* everyone: (✿ ♥‿♥)

[brunchable]

LAZARUS SERUM || Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Part I

Part Two | Part Three Words: 8.5K Themes: Very Angsty?, Break-up, Violence, Kidnapped, Super Human transformation, Action, Attempted Assault, Lovers to Enemies, Enemies to Lovers. Summary: Set in 1942. Steve allowed being a Super Soldier inflate his ego. After a breaking up with Steve, your world shatters then you're abducted and subjected to a mysterious experiment. A/N: I was washing the dishes when this came to me. I thought Y/N was really BADASS at the end. Baby girl is bad bitch, she on Fire. Paint the town red can be her song. A reblog would be noice <3

The sun was setting over Brooklyn, casting long shadows across the streets. You and Steve walked side by side, your fingers intertwined, the cool breeze of the evening wrapping around you both. Steve’s small hand fit perfectly in yours, a comforting reminder of the years you had spent together, supporting each other through thick and thin. 

It wasn’t easy being with him, especially with how the world treated him—just a scrawny, sickly guy who never knew when to give up. 

Your parents disapproved and your friends laughed at you for choosing Steve over James. You always tell Steve, ‘If they laugh, then fuck'em all.’

He has a good heart and you loved him for it— for his determination, his kindness, and his unwavering sense of right and wrong.

As you walked, a heavy silence hung between you. The reason was clear: James or known as Bucky Barnes, was shipping out to fight in the war. The three of you had been inseparable, a trio bound by shared history and deep affection. But now, Bucky was leaving, and the thought of losing him weighed heavily on your heart.

“Well, I guess this is it. I’m heading out tomorrow.” Bucky finally stopped and turned to you both, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

You nodded, trying to keep the sadness from showing on your face. “It’s not going to be the same without you, Bucky.”

He gave a small chuckle, though it lacked its usual warmth. “You’ll manage. You’ve got this punk to keep you busy.” He playfully nudged Steve, who smiled weakly in return.

“I should be going with you, Bucky,” Steve said, his voice tight with emotion.

“You’re gonna be fine, Steve. You’ve got that heart of yours, and that’s stronger than any muscle.” Bucky’s expression softened, and he reached out, placing a firm hand on Steve’s shoulder. He turned to you, his gaze filled with concern. 

“And you, Y/N… take care of him, will ya? Someone’s gotta keep him out of trouble.”

You forced a smile, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I will, Bucky. I promise.”

Bucky pulled you into a tight hug, holding you for a moment longer than necessary. When he finally let go, he clasped hands with Steve, their handshake lingering as they both tried to hold onto the moment.

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” Bucky said, trying to lighten the mood.

Steve gave a small laugh, but it was strained. “No promises.”

With one last look at both of you, Bucky nodded, then turned and walked away, his figure disappearing into the distance. 

As he left, the weight of his absence settled over you like a thick fog. The world suddenly felt colder, emptier without Bucky’s presence.

“He’ll be okay,” Steve said quietly, more to himself than to you, as you both stood there in silence, watching Bucky disappear.You leaned into Steve, seeking comfort in his presence. 

“I hope so. I don’t know what we’ll do if something happens to him.” Steve squeezed your hand, trying to be reassuring. 

“He’s strong. He’ll make it back.” But deep down, both of you knew there were no guarantees in war.

× × × × 

A few weeks later, the day finally came when Steve received his enlistment notice. You were there when he got the news, a mixture of pride and worry swirling in your chest. He had finally done it—he was going to fight in the war, just like Bucky. But that also meant he was leaving you behind, just like Bucky.

“I can’t believe it,” Steve said, staring at the paper in his hands, his voice filled with excitement. “I’m actually going.”

You smiled, though it was bittersweet. “I knew you would. You’re the most determined person I’ve ever met, Steve. They’d be crazy not to let you in.”

 “I couldn’t have done it without you, Y/N. You’ve always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.” Steve looked up at you, his expression softening.

You reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m so proud of you, Steve. You’re going to do great things. Just… promise me you’ll be careful.”

Steve’s eyes were filled with emotion as he pulled you into a tight embrace. “I promise, Y/N. I’ll come back to you. I swear.”

But as you held him, a deep sadness settled over you. First Bucky, now Steve—everyone you cared about was leaving, going off to fight a war that seemed so far removed from your life in Brooklyn. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread, a fear that things would never be the same again.

× × × × 

The day Steve came back from the super-soldier program, everything changed. You had waited anxiously for news, praying that everything would go smoothly, that he would come back to you safe and sound. When you finally saw him again, it was nothing like you imagined.

The first time you laid eyes on the new Steve Rogers was outside a government building, where a crowd had gathered. You pushed your way through, eager to see him after weeks of silence. When you finally spotted him, your breath caught in your throat.There he was—tall, muscular, and impossibly different. The boy you once knew was gone, replaced by a man who exuded power and confidence. It was Steve, and yet it wasn’t.

“Steve!” you called out, your voice lost in the noise of the crowd. You tried to make your way toward him, but the throng of people pushed you back, jostling you aside as they clamored for a closer look at the hero.

Steve seemed oblivious to the crowd around him, focused entirely on the conversation he was having with a woman by his side—Peggy Carter. You had heard about her, of course, but seeing them together was different. There was an ease between them that made your heart sink.

“Steve!” you called out again, louder this time, but he didn’t hear you—or if he did, he didn’t acknowledge it. You watched as Peggy leaned in closer, her hand resting on his arm in a way that felt far too familiar.

Then, as if in slow motion, you saw Steve get into a car with her, leaving you standing alone in the crowd, feeling completely invisible.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to see you, to run to you, to hold you in his arms like he always did. But instead, he was driving away with someone else, and you were left behind, forgotten.

× × × ×

A few weeks pass by with not one word from Steve, the last time you heard his voice was on the radio, giving a speech that would motivate the soldiers out there or in the newspaper. You were sitting by the window, reading a book while your cat rested peacefully on your lap. Then, there was a knock at the door. You kept your ears attentive, though your eyes were focused somewhere else.

You heard your mother answer it, and you listened as she exchanged a few words with whoever was at the door. A moment later, she called out to you, “Y/N, there’s a soldier here to see you.”

You furrowed your brow in confusion as you walked toward the door. A soldier? Why would—?

As you reached the doorway, your breath caught in your throat. There, standing in the threshold, was Steve Rogers, but not the Steve you remembered. He was taller, broader, wearing an army uniform that fit him perfectly, and his entire presence seemed… different. The frail, sickly boy you had known was gone, replaced by a man you barely recognized.

“Do you know this gentleman, dear?” Your mother, still standing by the door, looked between you and Steve, clearly confused. 

“It’s me, Mrs. L/N, Steve Rogers.” Steve gave her a warm smile, his voice deeper than you remembered. 

Your mother blinked, looking Steve up and down before recognition finally dawned on her face. “Steve? My goodness, look at you! I didn’t even recognize you. You look… Well, you look like a different person altogether!”

“Yes, he… he certainly does.” You forced a smile, still trying to process the fact that he's standing there. 

“Well, I’ll leave you two to catch up. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.” Your mother gave you a strange look as she walked past, heading back into the house. 

The heck was that about?

As she disappeared into the other room, you turned your attention back to Steve, your heart pounding. You looked up at him, which was something you weren't used to. He's so. . .tall.

“Steve… is that really you?”

“It’s me, Y/N,” Steve replied, his voice deeper than you remembered. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. Things have been… crazy in the last couple of days.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” You nodded, trying to hide your disappointment.

Steve smiled, a hint of the old Steve you knew shining through. “I’m more than okay. I want to make it up to you. How about I take you out to dinner tonight? Just the two of us.”

Your heart lifted at the thought. Maybe this was your chance to reconnect, to get back to the way things were. 

“I’d like that,” you said softly. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Listen, I need to go back but I'll see you at our favorite spot? Six-thirty?” He reaches for your hands and kissed the back of it. 

“I’ll be there,” you chuckled at his romantic gesture.

“Don’t keep me waiting.” He winks at you, and you couldn’t help but giggle. This new playful side of him, got you hooked like a fish.

× × × ×

“Good evening, Ma'am. Do you have a reservation for tonight?” the hostess asked politely, her hands poised over the guest book.

“Yes. Steve Rogers?”

The hostess scanned the list, her finger trailing down the page. “Table 11. Right this way.” She smiled warmly and gestured for you to follow.

Your heart quickened as you anticipated seeing Steve, but when you reached the table, your smile faltered. The chair opposite you was empty. The hostess pulled it out for you, and with a quiet sigh, you sat down, your eyes flickering anxiously toward the door.

“Can I offer you any refreshments?” 

“Not at the moment.”

“No problem. Let us know if you need anything.” With a nod, she left you alone, leaving the weight of the evening to settle over you.

Minutes turned into an hour, and you found yourself glancing at the door every time it opened, only to be met with disappointment as someone other than Steve entered. As the hours passed, your hope began to wane, replaced by a growing knot of irritation in your chest.

But as the hours ticked by, your hope began to fade. The restaurant was closing, and still, there was no sign of him. The waitstaff was cleaning up around you, giving you sympathetic looks as you sat there alone, trying to hold back the tears.

The restaurant was winding down, the waitstaff quietly cleaning up around you. Their sympathetic looks were hard to ignore as you sat alone, struggling to keep your emotions in check. You felt a lump in your throat, your eyes stinging as you blinked back tears.

“Miss, I don’t mean to be rude, but we’re closing,” a waiter said gently, approaching you with a cautious smile.

You nodded, trying to muster some semblance of dignity, “I’m so sorry. I’ll be on my way.” You snuffled and smiled as you got up from your seat. Getting up alone was hard, the weight of embarrassment was weighing you down. 

Just as you turned to leave, the door swung open. Steve rushed in, his face flushed and hair slightly disheveled. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he blurted out, hurrying over to you. “I got caught up in something important. I didn’t mean to be late.”

The staff paused in their work, their eyes shifting between you and Steve. There stood the dashing soldier, looking every bit the hero in his crisp uniform, yet here he was, unmistakably late. As their gazes turned to you in your lavender shirtwaist dress, it was clear they understood why you had waited so long.

“It’s eleven.” Your voice seethed after glancing at your watch, noticing a red smudge on his collar, “They’re closed. Let’s talk outside.”

Without waiting for a response, you cleared your throat and walked out, brushing past him intentionally to make your anger known. Steve followed closely behind, sensing the storm brewing between you two. This was the first time he had been this late, and you were struggling to decide whether to forgive him easily or let him feel the full weight of your emotions.

“Steve, where were you? I waited for hours,” you said, trying to keep your voice whole, this feeling like you were losing him is foreign and hard to keep internally.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I got caught up with something… important.” Steve barely met your gaze, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“More important than us?” The words slipped out before you could stop them, the pain of being pushed aside finally surfacing.

Steve sighed, his shoulders slumping. “It’s not like that. You know I’m trying to do the right thing. There’s so much going on, and I—”

“Forgot about me?” You didn’t want to be this person, but the loneliness and the fear of losing him had been building up for too long. Without Bucky around, you had no one to turn to, no one to share this burden with. “I understand that you have responsibilities now, but you made a promise.”

He finally looked at you, guilt flashing in his eyes. “Y/N, I’m not leaving you behind. I just. . . things are different.”

“I can see that,” you said, you look at him from head to toe. The man standing in front of you wasn’t the same Steve who used to hold you and make you feel like the most important person in the world. This was someone else, someone who had outgrown you, “You’ve changed, and I’m not talking about your appearance.”

“I’m still me, Y/N. But now, I have responsibilities, people who rely on me.” Steve looked down, guilt flashing in his eyes. 

“And what about me?” you asked, the hurt evident in your voice. “Do I even matter anymore, or was I just someone to keep you company when you had nothing else?”

“Don’t say that,” Steve replied quickly out of spite, “Maybe… maybe you were only with me because you felt sorry for me. For who I was.”

His words cut deep, and you recoiled as if he had struck you. “You think I was with you out of pity? Is that what you believe?”

“I don’t know,” Steve said, his voice strained.

“How could you think that?” you said, your voice rising with a mix of anger and hurt. “I was with you because I love you, Steve. Not because I felt sorry for you. I believed in you, and I loved you for who you were, not because of what you couldn’t do or how you appear.”

“I’m just not sure where I fit in this new world, and I’m not sure where you fit in it either. I'm trying to wo—”

Your chest began feeling tight because of his words. You had always known that things would change after the serum, but you never expected him to question your feelings like this. 

“So, what are you saying? That there’s no place for me in your life anymore? That I don’t belong because you’ve become someone else?” You emphasized his structure with your hand.

Steve shook his head, looking frustrated. “I don’t know what I’m saying. I just… I feel like we’re both hanging on to something that’s already gone.”

“Already gone? Nothing was gone, at least not on my part.” Tears welled up in your eyes, but you fought to keep your voice from cracking, “Is there someone else? Is that why you’re looking for a way out?”

“No! Of course not. It's because for once in myself I feel like I'm worth something,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

The finality of his words hit you like a punch to the gut. You had fought so hard to hold onto him, to keep the love between you alive, but now it felt like you were losing that battle. You had wanted him to stay tonight, to make things right, but now you weren’t sure if there was anything left to salvage.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. You turned away, the tears you had been holding back finally spilling over. 

“You know what? Just… go, Steve. Do whatever it is you have to do. I will not think less of myself just because you do not know how to love me anymore.” you said, your voice heavy with resignation.

“Y/N…” Steve’s voice was soft, filled with regret, but you couldn’t face him. Not now.

“Please, Steve. Just go.”

What you really wanted to say was, “Please stay. Show me that I still matter to you.” But you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. You were too afraid that he wouldn’t fight for you, and the thought of that was too painful to bear.

Steve hesitated, his eyes wandering as if trying to find the right words. He just stood there, saying nothing. 

You took a deep breath, your heart pounding as you walked closer to him, his face softening as you reached up and gently adjusted his collar. Your fingers brushed against the fabric, lingering just a moment longer than necessary. 

Then, in the calmest voice you could muster, you said, “Lemon helps with removing lipstick stains.”

Steve’s eyes widened in panic, his hand instinctively reaching up to touch the spot where your fingers had been.

“Y/N, I seriously don't know how this got here—” he began and it almost sounded genuine, his voice filled with panic as he tried to close the distance between you.

But you took a step back, your eyes now red and brimming with tears. You raised a hand to stop him, your voice breaking as you sobbed deeply, “Don’t. Just… don’t.”

Steve’s heart shattered at the sight of you sobbing, your pain a statement in every tear that fell. His instinct was to reach out, to hold you, but your outstretched hand and the heartbreak in your eyes kept him rooted to the spot.

If Bucky were here… The thought pierced his mind like a knife, and suddenly, jealousy coursed through him, hot and irrational. Bucky. The one person who had always managed to make you smile, even when he couldn’t. The one who could draw out your laughter with just a word, a look. The one who, despite being his best friend, had always been a shadow in the corner of Steve’s mind when it came to you.

Was it easier with Bucky? Did you love Bucky more than him? Had you ever thought of Bucky in ways that Steve couldn’t bear to imagine?

“You should’ve just chosen Bucky.” Steve muttered and with one last, tortured look at you, Steve turned away, his steps. He walked away, leaving you standing there, your tears flowing freely now. He didn’t look back, too afraid of what he might see if he did.

Your breath caught in your throat, the shock of his words slicing through the already unbearable pain. You stared at him, wide-eyed, unable to process the bitterness in his voice, the finality of his statement.

The Steve you had known was gone. You didn’t know if looking for him would be worth it because you knew how it would feel—it would feel like reaching for smoke.

Heartbroken and feeling more isolated than ever, you decided to walk home alone. Your cries echoes the street, water gushing out of your eyes like it’s being released by a dam. The echo of your footsteps on the empty streets was a haunting reminder of just how alone you felt. Steve had left, and with him, it felt like a part of your heart had been ripped away.

Steve’s words replayed in your mind, cutting deeper with every repetition. The idea that he thought you might have been with him out of pity or that you're better off with Bucky was a knife to your heart, twisting with every breath.

The streets of Brooklyn were eerily quiet, the usual bustle replaced by an unsettling stillness. The lamps cast long, distorted shadows across the pavement, and every sound seemed amplified in the silence. You quickened your pace, trying to escape the weight of your thoughts, but it was no use. 

As you turned down a narrow street, the familiar surroundings suddenly felt foreign and oppressive. You hugged your coat tighter around you, your mind racing with a mixture of fear and despair. Ahead, the road forked into two directions—one leading to your home, the other into an even darker, narrower alley. You turned towards home, your heart pounding as you tried to shake the feeling of being watched.

Then, without warning, you heard the screech of tires on the asphalt. Before you could react, a van skidded to a stop in front of you, its headlights blinding in the dark street. The doors flew open, and three men in dark clothing jumped out, their faces obscured by shadows.

Panic surged through you as you spun on your heel, trying to run, but it was too late. They were on you in an instant, their grips like iron as they dragged you towards the van.

“No! Let me go! Help! Please someone!” you screamed, thrashing against their hold, but your voice was swallowed by the night, and the empty streets offered no help. Your heart raced, the fear consuming you as you struggled with the best you can.

A cloth was suddenly pressed against your mouth and nose, and a sickly sweet smell filled your senses. You tried to hold your breath, to fight against the drowsiness that quickly overtook you, but it was no use. The world around you started to blur, your vision darkening as your body went limp.

The last thing you heard before everything went black was the sound of the van doors slamming shut and the dull roar of the engine as it sped away into the night.

× × × ×

DAY ONE

When you woke, the world was a haze of pain and confusion. The first thing you noticed was the cold metal pressing against your back, you were naked. Your wrists and ankles were strapped to a metal table, the restraints biting into your skin. Panic clawed at your chest as you struggled against the bonds, but they held firm, keeping you pinned down.

Your vision was blurry, your head pounding from whatever they had used to knock you out. Slowly, the room around you came into focus—bare, clinical, with walls of stark white. You weren’t in Brooklyn anymore. You weren’t anywhere you recognized.

You heard voices, cold and detached, speaking in hushed tones. You couldn’t make out the words, but the tone sent chills down your spine. Footsteps approached, and a shadow loomed over you.

A man’s face came into view, his expression devoid of any warmth or compassion. “She’s awake. Prepare the serum.”

The word “serum” sent a jolt of fear through you, and you renewed your struggles, trying to break free. But the restraints didn’t budge, and the man paid no attention to your terror or the muffled screams that bounced off the walls.

You felt a sharp prick in your arm as they injected something into your veins. Immediately, a searing pain shot through your body, like liquid fire burning through every nerve. You tried to scream, but your voice was caught in your throat, choked off by the agony that consumed you.

The pain was unbearable and you could feel your body convulsing on the table, your muscles seizing as the serum spread through you. It felt like your entire being was being torn apart, every cell screaming in protest. You began to foam in the mouth, the scene your captors watched was like out of an exorcist movie.

And then… nothing. The world around you went dark, and you slipped into unconsciousness, the pain finally giving way to merciful oblivion.

“Sir, should we stop?” One of them said, “Her vital signs are getting dangerously out of limits, she might go into cardiac arrest.”

“No, keep going until that last vial is finished. I want to see what’ll happen. Then we repeat until there’s signs of success.” 

DAY TWO

You awoke to the sensation of your body being dragged, rough hands gripping your arms as they pulled you across the cold, unforgiving floor. Your vision was clouded, your mind struggling to grasp onto reality as the fog of unconsciousness began to lift. Every inch of you ached, a dull, throbbing pain that seemed to seep into your very bones.

As you were hoisted back onto the metal table, the cold surface pressed against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. The restraints clamped down on your wrists and ankles once more, their cruel bite familiar by now. The room around you was still the same—sterile, white, and devoid of any humanity.

You tried to speak, but your throat was on dry and on fire, your voice barely a whisper. "Please... stop..."

Your plea fell on deaf ears. The figures in lab coats moved around you with the same clinical detachment as before, their faces obscured by surgical masks. One of them approached, holding a clipboard, his eyes scanning the data as if you were nothing more than a lab rat.

"Her vitals stabilized overnight," he said, his tone matter-of-fact. "But... the readings are inconsistent. I'm not sure if the serum is taking effect."

The man from before—the one who had ordered the serum—stepped into view, his expression as cold and unreadable as ever. He leaned over you, his eyes scrutinizing your face with a mix of curiosity and impatience.

"Let's see if she can handle more," he said, his voice flat, giving nothing away.

Panic surged through you, your heart racing as you remembered the excruciating pain from the day before. You tried to struggle, but your body was too weak, too drained from the torment they had already inflicted on you.

The man nodded to one of his colleagues, who approached with another syringe, the liquid inside glowing with an ominous, sickly hue. You watched in horror as the needle approached your arm, every muscle in your body tensing with dread.

"No... no, please..." you begged, your voice breaking.

But they didn't stop. The needle pierced your skin once again, and the liquid fire coursed through your veins, more intense than before. The pain was immediate, searing through you like a thousand white-hot knives. You thrashed against the restraints, your screams tearing through the air, but there was no escape from the agony.

The world around you blurred as the pain became all-consuming, every nerve in your body ablaze. You could feel your heart pounding erratically, your vision darkening at the edges. It was too much, too overwhelming.

But this time, there was no merciful oblivion waiting for you. The pain persisted, dragging you down into a nightmare from which there was no escape. Your body convulsed violently, your muscles seizing as the serum wreaked havoc within you.

The voices around you became distant, muffled by the roaring in your ears. You couldn't make out what they were saying, but their tone was one of cold observation, detached from the suffering they were causing.

"Her body's reacting... but the patterns aren't consistent. It’s hard to tell if it’s working or if she’s just... rejecting it."

"Increase the dosage," the man ordered, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watched your writhing form. "We need to push her further. If there's any sign of success, we'll see it soon enough."

"But sir," one of the lab technicians hesitated, his voice uncertain. "If we push too hard, she might not survive the next round. The readings are already erratic—she could go into shock or worse."

"That’s a risk I’m willing to take," the man replied coldly. "We won’t know until we push her limits."

Your heart sank at his words. There was no end to this. They were going to keep pushing, keep testing, until either the serum took hold of your body or gave out entirely.

As you lay there, barely conscious, the pain began to ebb slightly, leaving you trembling and drenched in sweat. Your breaths came in ragged gasps, your chest heaving as you tried to cling to consciousness.

"Prepare the next dose," the man ordered, his voice devoid of any empathy.

This time, your heart sank even deeper. The nightmare wasn’t just beginning—it was accelerating, and there was no way out. You were trapped in this hell, at the mercy of those who saw you as nothing more than an experiment, a means to an end. And whether or not the serum was taking effect, you knew that whatever happened next would push you to your breaking point—and beyond.

DAY EIGHTY

When you woke, the familiar chill of the metal table greeted you. The room was as stark and clinical as ever, but something had changed within you. The pain was still there, a constant, gnawing presence, but it no longer controlled you. You had become accustomed to it, numb to its bite. It was just another part of your existence now.

Eighty days.

Eighty days of torment, of relentless experimentation, of feeling your body and mind pushed to their breaking points and beyond. You had lost track of time somewhere around the third week, the days and nights blending into a seamless blur of agony and darkness. But even as the days passed, you remained conscious, aware—alive.

The door to the room opened, and you didn’t bother to turn your head. You knew who it was. The man with the cold eyes approached, his footsteps echoing on the hard floor. He had become a constant in your world, his presence as regular as the pain he inflicted. 

“You’re still with us, I see,” he remarked, his tone as detached as ever. He moved closer, inspecting the restraints that held you down. “Most impressive.”

You didn’t respond. You hadn’t spoken in days—there was nothing left to say. Every word, every plea had fallen on deaf ears. You had learned long ago that silence was your only companion in this hell.

“Her vitals are stronger,” a technician noted, glancing at the monitors that tracked your every heartbeat. “We’ve noticed a significant increase in her strength and resilience. The serum seems to be taking effect.”

The man nodded, though there was no satisfaction in his expression. “Eighty days,” he mused, as if talking to himself. “Eighty days, and you’re still here. Stronger, faster… more than we ever anticipated.”

He turned his gaze to you, his eyes narrowing slightly. “But are you in control, I wonder? Or has the serum taken control of you?”

His words hung in the air, but you didn’t flinch. The battle for control was something you fought every day, every hour. The serum coursing through your veins had changed you in ways you couldn’t fully understand yet, but you were still you—or so you told yourself.

“Let’s see if we can push it further,” he said, signaling to the technician.

The restraints were released, and you felt the cold metal slide away from your wrists and ankles. You didn’t move, not yet. You had learned to conserve your strength, to hold back until the moment was right.

“Sit up,” he commanded.

You obeyed, slowly raising yourself into a seated position. Your movements were deliberate, controlled. You could feel the power coursing through your body, every muscle coiled with potential energy, but you kept it in check.

The man stepped back, giving you space, watching you closely. “Stand.”

You slid off the table, your bare feet touching the cold floor. You stood, swaying slightly as the blood rushed to your head. But you remained upright, your gaze locked on the man who had been your tormentor for nearly three months.

“Walk,” he ordered, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity.

You took a step forward, then another. Your legs were shaky at first, but you quickly found your balance. Each movement felt strange, foreign, as if you were inhabiting a body that wasn’t entirely your own. But you continued, step after step, until you were standing directly in front of him.

“Good,” he said, nodding approvingly. “Very good.”

He reached out, placing a hand on your shoulder. The touch was light, almost gentle, but you could sense the underlying threat in it. “Now, let’s see just how far we can take this.”

You didn’t react as he motioned for the guards to step forward, their weapons at the ready. You knew what was coming next. This was another test, another attempt to push you beyond your limits.

The guards surrounded you, their faces expressionless, their grips tight on their weapons. The man gave a slight nod, and they moved as one, striking out at you with calculated precision.

But this time, you were ready. The serum had done its work. You were faster, stronger, and as their blows came toward you, you reacted with a speed that surprised even you. You deflected the first strike with ease, the second with even greater efficiency. Your movements were fluid, instinctual, a dance of power and precision.

Within moments, the guards were on the ground, groaning in pain, their weapons scattered across the floor. You stood over them, breathing heavily, your heart pounding with adrenaline. The power surging through you was intoxicating, overwhelming, but you were in control. For now.

The man watched you with a hint of something in his eyes—respect, maybe, or perhaps something more sinister.

“Yes,” he murmured, more to himself than to you. “This is what we’ve been waiting for.”

You stood there, the blood rushing in your ears, your body alive with the thrill of what you had just done. But beneath it all, there was a gnawing sense of unease. You had changed, become something different, something more. But at what cost?

As the guards were dragged away, the man turned to you once more. “Eighty days,” he repeated, a slight smile playing on his lips. “And now, the real work begins.”

You didn’t respond. You had nothing left to say. The battle was far from over, and as you looked into the cold, calculating eyes of your captor, you knew that whatever came next would push you even further into the darkness.

But you were ready. Because after eighty days of hell, you had learned one thing—you would survive, no matter what.

DAY 100

The pain had reached a point where it was almost surreal, as if your mind had detached itself from your body to protect what was left of your sanity. You lay strapped to the cold metal table, your skin clammy, your breaths shallow. The serum that had been forced into your veins was taking its final toll. Your vision blurred, the edges of your world darkening as you teetered on the brink of consciousness.

The man with the cold eyes stood over you, his expression hard as he watched the monitors tracking your vitals. He had been relentless, pushing the experiments further each day, determined to force the serum to work. But today, something was different. The lines on the monitor were becoming erratic, your heart rate spiking and dipping unpredictably.

"Her vitals are deteriorating rapidly," a technician warned, his voice tinged with anxiety. "She's not stabilizing. We should stop."

The man clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing. "We’re too close. Increase the dosage."

"But sir, she won't survive—"

"Do it!" he barked, cutting off the protest.The technician hesitated for a moment before injecting you with another dose of the glowing serum. The liquid fire surged through your veins, and the world around you exploded into pain once again. But this time, it was different—this time, your body couldn’t take it.

You convulsed violently on the table, the restraints digging into your skin as your body fought a losing battle. Your vision darkened further, the room around you fading into an indistinct blur. Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, a desperate rhythm that couldn’t keep pace with the assault on your system.

And then, it stopped. The world around you went silent. your life flashed before your eyes, beginning with the warmth of your childhood—the comforting embrace of your mother as she read you stories at night, the sound of her laughter filling your small apartment in Brooklyn. You remembered the day you met Steve, the shy, awkward boy who had tripped over his own feet trying to impress you, and Bucky’s teasing grin as he nudged Steve forward, encouraging him to finally ask you out. There were memories of long summer days spent in the park, the three of you inseparable, sharing ice cream and dreams of the future.

But then, the memories shifted. The warmth drained away as you saw Steve walking away from you, his back turned, his footsteps echoing in the empty space between you. . .

“Dispose of the body.”

× × × ×

D - 100

When you woke up this time, you weren’t in the cold, sterile room. Instead, you were lying in an alley, discarded like trash. The hard, wet pavement was unforgiving against your body, and the chill in the air bit through your clothes. You don’t know what day or even month it was.

Your once neat and tidy outfit was now torn and filthy, covered in grime and dirt from the alleyway. The lavender shirtwaist dress you had worn so proudly earlier was now barely recognizable, stained with mud and who knows what else.

Your hair, once carefully styled, was now a tangled mess, strands sticking to your face, damp with sweat and the moisture of the night. You could feel the grit and dirt under your nails, the remnants of your struggle to free yourself from whatever hellish place you had been held. Your hands were scraped and raw, the skin broken and bleeding in places.

Your face felt gritty, as if you’d been dragged through the dirt. As you lifted a hand to touch your cheek, you could feel the rough texture of dried blood and dirt clinging to your skin. Your body aches all over, every muscle sore from the strain of whatever had been done to you. The cold dusk air bit into your exposed skin, making you shiver as you struggled to push yourself up from the ground.

The street was dimly lit, the sound of distant traffic the only sign of life around you. The once-familiar streets of Brooklyn now felt alien and hostile, and in your current state, you felt like a ghost haunting the city you once knew.

You stood there, shivering and alone, the reality of your situation sank in. Whoever had taken you had done something to you—something that had changed you. But they had deemed you a failure, or perhaps an afterthought, and simply left you to fend for yourself.

You felt stronger, different, but the overwhelming sense of abandonment weighed heavily on your heart. You looked down at your hands, trembling as you tried to comprehend what had happened to you.

Just as you began to move, your disheveled appearance caught the attention of a group of men lurking in the shadows. They saw an easy target—someone weak, vulnerable, alone. Their eyes locked onto you, and you could feel their gazes crawling over you like a predator sizing up its prey. But they had no idea what they were about to face.

“Hey, look what we got here,” one of them called out, his voice dripping with malice. He stepped forward, a smirk spreading across his face as he took in your bedraggled state. “You look like you’ve had a rough night, sweetheart.”

Another man snickered, his eyes narrowing as he moved to block your path. “Where you headed in such a hurry? We could keep you company.”

The men began to circle you, cutting off any chance of escape. Their leers and mocking laughter echoed off the walls of the alley, making your skin crawl. You backed away, your heart racing, but they kept closing in, their intent all too clear.

One of them reached out to grab your arm, but before his hand could make contact, something snapped inside you. The fear that had gripped you earlier was replaced by a cold, detached resolve. 

With a sudden burst of strength, you lashed out, your fist connecting with the man’s jaw. The impact sent him reeling backward, blood spurting from his mouth. He stumbled, crashing into a pile of trash cans with a loud clatter, his smug expression replaced by shock.

The other men hesitated, their bravado faltering as they realized you were not the helpless victim they had assumed. But their hesitation quickly turned to anger, and they surged forward, determined to make you pay for their friend’s humiliation.

But they didn’t stand a chance.

With a newfound power surging through your veins, you moved like a force of nature. You dodged their clumsy attempts to grab you, your movements fluid and precise. Every strike you landed sent them staggering back, their groans of pain filling the air.

One man lunged at you, his hands reaching for your throat, but you ducked under his grasp, spinning on your heel to deliver a powerful kick to his midsection. The force of the blow knocked the wind out of him, and he crumpled to the ground, gasping for breath.

Another man tried to grab you from behind, but you twisted out of his grip, your elbow slamming into his ribs with a sickening crack. He howled in pain, clutching his side as he fell to his knees.

The last man standing looked at you with wide, fearful eyes, his confidence shattered. “What the hell are you?” he stammered, backing away.

You stared at him, feeling that cold detachment settle over you once more. “Someone you should never have messed with,” you replied, your voice calm and steady.

Without another word, you stepped forward and struck him with a swift, powerful punch. He didn’t have time to react before he was sent crashing to the ground, unconscious.

As you stood there, surrounded by the groaning forms of the men who had tried to attack you, the reality of what you had just done began to sink in. You had taken them down with ease, without even thinking. The fear that had gripped you earlier was gone, replaced by something else—something darker, more dangerous.

You looked down at your hands, trembling slightly as you tried to process what had just happened. They were bruised and dirty, knuckles bloodied from the fight, but they were steady, powerful. You weren’t the same person who had been taken from the streets and subjected to whatever hellish experiment had been done to you.

You were stronger now, and that strength came with a cold, hard edge that scared you as much as it empowered you.

But there was no time to dwell on it. You needed to get out of there, to find somewhere safe where you could figure out what had been done to you. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you began to walk away from the alley, leaving the men behind.

As you disappeared into the early morning light, the realization that you were truly alone settled in your heart. You had been discarded, left to fend for yourself. But you would survive this. You would become stronger, faster, more powerful than anyone who had ever underestimated you.

And if Steve had truly discarded you as well, if he had moved on and left you behind, then you would prove that you didn’t need him—or anyone else.

By the time the sun began to rise, you were no longer the same person who had waited at that restaurant, hoping for a fresh start. The flame that once burned brightly for Steve had turned to cold, hardened embers.

You vowed never to let anyone discard you again.

.

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.

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, you trudged through the streets, your skin a canvas of bruises and cuts, each one a testament to the brutality you had endured. The world around you seemed surreal, almost detached, as if you were walking through a twisted dream. 

People noticed you—how could they not? Their eyes lingered a fraction too long before they darted away, some filled with pity, others with fear or disgust. Concerned mothers pulled their children closer, shielding them from the sight of you as if you were a monster, something to be feared and avoided. Whispers followed you like a shadow, just out of earshot but thick with judgment, dripping with the cruelty of strangers who saw only the surface.

No one approached you. No one dared. The stares didn’t bother you. In fact, you welcomed them. Let them look, let them fear. You would not be pitied. You would not be scorned. If the world wanted to see you as a monster—then so be it. 

As you walked, a familiar part of town began to come into view. You knew these streets well, every crack in the sidewalk, every faded storefront. It had been a place of comfort, of familiarity—but now it felt foreign, like you were an intruder in a place that no longer belonged to you.

Then, through the blur of people, you saw her. Your mother. She stood on the corner, frantically handing out pieces of paper with your picture on them, her eyes scanning every face that passed by, desperate and searching

When her gaze landed on you, her expression shifted—first to shock, then to fear, relief, and heartbreak that hit you like a punch to the gut. Your heart clenched, a pang of pity slicing through the wall you’d built around yourself. You had steeled yourself against so much, but seeing her there, so fragile, so broken, was almost too much to bear.

“M-Mom?” Your voice cracked, a betrayal of the emotions you fought so hard to suppress. For a split second, you felt like yourself again, but then that cold voice in your head reminded you: no tears, no weakness.

She rushed toward you, disbelief widening her eyes, her hand trembling as she covered her mouth in shock.

“Y/N? Is that you?” she gasped, her voice trembling.

You stood there, rooted to the spot, unable to speak as she reached out to you. Her hands, trembling, cupped your face, her touch so familiar yet so foreign. Tears welled in her eyes as she took in your appearance.

“What… what happened to you?” she whispered, her voice barely holding together.

The tears in her eyes reflected the pain you had tried so hard to bury. But you couldn’t let it out—not now. Not after everything.

“I’m fine,” you managed to say, though the words felt hollow. You pulled away from her touch, the warmth of it almost too painful to bear.

“No, you’re not,” she insisted, her voice shaking as she looked you up and down, trying to understand what had happened to her daughter. “Who did this to you? Where have you been?”

You shook your head, the emotions churning inside you too chaotic to form into coherent thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter,” you replied, your voice colder than you intended. “I just need to go home.”

Your mother’s brow furrowed, as she looked at you with a mother’s instinctive fear. “No, we need to take you to the hospital. You need to be checked out, Y/N. You’re hurt—”

“No!” you snapped, the force of your voice startling both of you, desperation in your tone, “No hospitals, no police report.”

“Y/N, please. You need help. We have to tell someone—”

Help? No one helped. 

“I said no!” you repeated, your voice trembling with an intensity that silenced her. “They won’t help. They’ll just ask questions, questions I can’t answer. They won’t understand, Mom. No one will.”

“But, Y/N—”

“I don’t need a doctor. I don’t need the police. I just need to go home. Please, Mom… just take me home.” Your breath came faster, panic rising in your chest as the thought of being in a hospital, of facing the police and their endless probing, became unbearable. 

Her face crumpled with worry, but she didn’t press further. Instead, she wrapped her arms around you, holding you tightly as if trying to shield you from whatever had hurt you. 

Slowly, she nodded, though her worry was still palpable. “Okay. Okay, we’ll go home. But promise me… promise me that if you need help, you’ll let me know. Just… don’t shut me out.”

You nodded, but the motion felt distant, like it didn’t quite belong to you. “I promise,” you whispered, though even as the words left your mouth, they felt empty, a hollow reassurance to ease her fears.

× × × × 

The rain poured down like icy needles, but you barely felt it through your black raincoat. Across the street, through the glowing window, Steve and Peggy danced together, they danced together like a well-rehearsed melody, a song you had once known by heart but now could only hear as a distant echo. Their connection was a knife, twisting in the hollowed-out space where your heart used to be.

Your hands clenched into fists at your sides, your nails digging into your palms as you stood there, seething. Every drop of rain that pelted against your coat felt like a reminder of the cold, hard truth—you had been replaced. Forgotten. Left to rot in the streets while he found comfort in another’s arms.

Your anger simmered, bubbling up from the depths of your chest. You had been willing to fight for him, to stand by his side no matter what. But what had that loyalty gotten you? Abandonment. Betrayal? And now, as you watched them dance, that anger solidified into something colder, harder.

“Y/L/N.” a deep commanding voice called your name.

Two officials stood in the shadows, their presence barely registering as you finally tore your gaze away from the window. They weren’t there for the party—they were there for you. Without a word, you pushed past them and joined their side.

[multiverse-sparkles]

Your kiss is burning to my skin — S. Rogers and B. Barnes.

summary: steve and bucky break up with you to focus on their relationship. at first, you took the breakup hard. then you took it worse.

pairings: steve x reader x bucky, stucky x reader.

warnings: angst, language, mentions of violence, poly.

chapter one

“it has nothing to do with you, doll.” bucky reiterates, tone mellowing into a small hesitant whisper as he sees you flinch at the endearment. “i mean you were wonderful and so lovely; always understanding us, being the pillar for support and providing us, always with positive reinforcements.” steve squeezes his hand as his form of support, as if willing bucky to take strenght from him to continue his words as he stutters.

the tender moment was not missed by your gaze that were intent on the supersoldiers who sat at the sofa infront of you. the parallels already evident; steve and bucky, leaning to eachother for comfort, sitting in one sofa. the only distance in the room were with you and them; sat in the lone one seater, listening with bated breath to their reasons on why they were breaking your heart.

you could guess several other scenarios happening when you returned from the three week mission requiring radio silence; a breakup was not one of them.

you were happy. the last time you saw either of them, you three went on a romantic date followed by a passionate night spent in eachother's loving arms. the next day was a tearful exchange of goodbye's and unwillingness to part; bucky had almost begged to be included, knowing what the mission entailed. steve inteded to be more diplomatic and barter with tony who refused to budge on his stance.

so with a heavy heart, you departed to cold and frigid terrorist base along with natasha and sam, throwing yourself into your duties in order to come home soonest. even with the support and extensive planning aswell as research, it still took a considerable amount of time.

but not enough for a drastic change of heart— or so you thought.

the steely and determined gaze to steve, the way bucky could look at you in the eyes despite shifting in his seat; they were fucking serious. and intent on expressing their disatisfaction with your current arrangement. one that was implicitly expressed as you trek to your floor, and sat you down after an almost hostile welcome.

“this hurts us more than you.” bucky exhales, looking at steve.

“i doubt it.” the first words you spoke amid all these crazy tirade sounded weak, from disuse and the emotions welling up in your throat. “but please, by all means, don't let me interrupt. why now?”

“we have been talking and spending time with eachother.. unconsciously, we thought about... how we missed it when it was just us.”

you flinch. again. in the field you were almost fearless, and not even a flying knife can make you swerve— you'd catch the weapon whizing to the air with precise movements. turns out, words indeed cut deeper.

but all the more of the implication that it had been them first; and the way it sounded, you were an unwelcomed participant into the special connection they shared.

“but this is not to say we don't value you.” steve intones. “we do. you have to know that. you're special in your own way, but bucky and i have something deeper than just flesh.”

you bite your tongue to refrain from lashing out. as a coping mechanism, you entertain the anger for his fucking audacity. letting the rage simmer under the blank farce you currently wear.

“we just hope, we can focus on eachother more.” steve elaborates, tensing the slightest at your emotionless response. to be frank, both men were ready for a fight, for you to scream and be hysterical. but you were surprisingly calm and collected. which made both uneasy.

“we just want to fall inlove again, without worrying about, others.” he refers you as others now. “could be permanent, could be a thought in passing.” bucky says. “the only thing we're certain about is a break.” he evasively looks away.

“i guess what bucky and i are trying to say is that, we want more from eachother, and there are certain deeper connections that we can't sustain in a three-way relationship.” steve informs you.

“i respect that.” you run your clammy hands on your tactical gear, they couldn't wait until you were dressed and atleast fed before shoving flowery words on your throat. “but if you're breaking up with me, say it bluntly; tell me honestly, tell it in words i understand- you were a good lay but it's actually eachother we love.” you enunciate the word slowly, “and don't delude me with kind words, when i know you're going to dangle the very statements you spewed over my head, most likely in days when you're fucked up or too lonely for eachother. i will not be tripped into your bed ever again.”

you despised the words as soon as they left your mouth; the statements only providing to fuel your deepest insecurity. and it was unfair to both of them, you knew it was.

steve and bucky looked visibly wretched by your words, yet you ignore it, telling yourself to get used to not caring about either of them.

“doll”

“darling”

“don't fucking call me that.” you hiss, both men still in their seat. “we're done.” gathering whatever was left of your dignity, you trudge to the doors and out of their lives.

the door closed behind you, your own apartment looking stale as opposed to the home you have built with steve and bucky; you barely stayed here anyways, but kept it for storage reasons. it still had stark's touch, feeling more like a hotel penthouse, appearing cold and detatched.

you slide down against the door weakly, losing the false bravado infront of your ex lovers. as if a child, you hug your knees to your chest, sobbing into it unbashedly.

three years all down the drain. and they talked about it as if it were a skin deep connection, downplaying every single moment; in tenderness, in affection, in tears and the joy.

you didn't lie down with them in their bed as an extension, as a woman that can be tossed in passing.

you didn't hold them gently in your arms, and provided the warmth the world has chosen to keep from them just to be a stranger.

you didn't whisper words of comfort in their ears, in the middle of the night when the nightmares became too much to handle, just to be someone shallow and unimportant in their lives.

most importantly, you didn't love them to be hurt like this.

the pain cuts deep in your heart, like a throbbing wound, one you feel physically; one that leaves you gasping for breath, a hand held above your heart, feeling as if you could die. your chest tight, your throat welling up, you struggle to remain above ground, eyes darting around the room to keep in the moment- fuck, you were having a panic attack.

you despised when that happens. hated the sheer fact that you would allow yourself to be vulnerable when there were things that needed to be done; people that need saving, reports to be made, meetings to attend. you led a remotely chaotic life and the only thing that truly anchored you in here, to the now, turned their backs to you.

they no longer want you.

you swallowed heavily, arms instinctively hugging yourself, eyes squinting in an an attempt at concentration; color, you looked at your surroundings, dizzily naming the grey of your couch, the ivory white lamp, the silver and gold of the chandelier. your forehead was beaded with perspiration, breath coming out in shorts despite your attempts at distracting yourself.

“agent y/n, your blood pressure is fluctuating; your heart rate is abnormal which can cause the brain and other ogans to become oxygen deprived. i concluded a physical scan and deduced your emotional distress," FRIDAY “i'm at liberty to ask if i should call captain rogers and sergeant barnes, as they are—”

“no!” you managed to shout between strangled breaths, patting your chest methodolically hoping whatever it was, seemingly dislodged into your airways be cleared.

“agent y/n, in accordance to the tower's protoccol, i am hardwired to inform your immediate contacts of your current state of distress.” her posh voice inserts. and despite yourself, you groan.

“i'm peachy, fri.” you lean your head back to the door, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. slowly, you were able to calm down enough, “it's probably the best time to change those emergency contacts, aswell. while you're at it, remove the captain and sergeant's access to this floor; both physically and even in information.”

“ofcourse, agent y/n. please state your official badge number and code.” when you answer her, FRIDAY appears to repeat your command before doing what was asked.

“i also elected the sensible decision of reinstating agent romanov as your primary emergency contact. that being said, ms. romanov is on the way to your floor.” FRIDAY disappears before you can scold her, which made you truly contemplate wether she was conscious and, in all actuality sensitive to human emotions.

perhaps, she does have an inkling of human relationships and intense emotions, but that was no longer your concern; considering you have a black widow shaped problem coming your way. and natasha romanov was nothing, if not immensely stubborn and perpetually perceptive. you were several times screwed over.

however, as she appeared in your doorway, the waterworks resumed ten times over, and you were sobbing pathetically in the red head's arms, lamenting your broken heart.

you couldn't remember for how long you've stayed immobile in your room, but it had been several days; perhaps a week or two that you cried your heart out, barely consuming meals unless for sustenance. that in itself seemed like a chore for your aching muscle, your tired and weary bones protesting with every single movements.

this morning though... this morning, it was sunny and bright. you'd opened the curtains with much effort, peering into the bustling city; the skyline providing you with displaced warmth. a few years ago, you'd only ever dreamt about being in new york; and you've lived it. becoming an avenger was also a dream you've worked hard in achieving, and here you are, fighting alongside the heroic and brave on normal tuesdays.

should you allow yourself to wither away in a dark room, heart terribly battered and bruised when the world was set for conquering? well, perhaps it would be insensitive to use the c word; cringing to yourself upon the remembrance of several otherplanetary creatures wreaking havoc on your home planet, like it were a free for all.

you enjoyed the warmth of the sun on your skin for a few moments, allowing yourself to finally, breathe. you bask in the first time upon weeks that you thought positively for a change; so wreaked from questioning every single thing wrong about you.

for the first time in many days, you took the longest shower in history, setting the temperature just a touch scalding. you cleaned your room, changed the sheets, and donned yourself in a decent jeans and a t-shirt combo. grabbing your purse, and stuffing your phone, wallet and keys along with you, you departed from your room.

on the way to the garage, you texted both wanda and natasha; who have been at your side with the outmost vigor, crying and cursing both the supersoldiers as you wept from your broken heart.

you: mall and galiani's at the grove? :)

wands: yes!! meet you there <3

natty: otw in my sensible shoes.

you smiled softly, thankful for your friends. it may have spread like wildfire among your colleagues in the tower, and the magic six may have taken sides and pointed fingers; but amongst all the drama, you were glad that you had people to count on.

it may take a while for you to feel like yourself again... but you were willing to make it work.

[sosa2imagines]

Hi! I hope you are doing well! I was wondering if would do a short part 2 of Promises made, promises kept where Steve does in fact come back to be with Reader again, realizing his mistake, but finds out that Reader moved on from him and is completely heart broken.😈😏

Warnings- Fluff, angst. 2.2k words.

Disclaimer- Here's part 2 of Promises broken, Promises kept. Hope you like it.

Four years.

That's how long it had been since Steve Rogers decided to go back in time to live his life with Peggy Carter.

In those years, you had found a new normal with Bucky Barnes, a man who had stepped in and provided the stability you and your daughter needed. Your daughter adored Bucky and called him “Pa” without hesitation.

Bucky had been there from the beginning, supporting you through the pain of Steve's departure.

Slowly, an unexpected connection had grown between you and Bucky, a bond forged through shared experiences and a common goal of raising your daughter.

Bucky had become a fixture in your lives, fulfilling each promise he made.

He was there for every milestone, from your daughter's first steps to her first day of school. He comforted her when she was scared, dried her tears when she skinned her knee, and celebrated her triumphs with boundless pride.

On a chilly winter night, a faint cry pierced the silence. In an instant, Bucky was out of bed, his instincts on high alert. He rushed to your his daughter's room, where he found her tossing and turning, caught in the throes of a nightmare.

“Pa!” she cried out, reaching for Bucky with trembling fingers. He was there in an instant, wrapping her in a comforting embrace. “Shh, it's okay,” he murmured, his voice gentle yet filled with unwavering strength. “I'm here.”

Bucky scooped her up into his arms, rocking her softly as he settled into the rocking chair in the corner of the room. He cradled her close, murmuring hushed reassurances and stroking her hair until her sobs subsided.

As Bucky comforted her, your daughter's words came out between hiccups and sobs. “I had a dream... daddy came to take me away.” Confusion mixed with fear as her little voice quivered.

Bucky's heart clenched at her words. He tightened his hold on her as he tried to steady his voice, masking the whirlwind of emotions within him. “Don't worry, sweetheart. That was just a bad dream. You're safe here, with me.” he assured her, his voice soft yet firm.

Natalia's grip on Bucky tightened as she pleaded her fears, her tiny fingers clinging to his shirt. “Promise me you won't go,” she implored, her voice trembling with vulnerability. “Promise me you'll always be my Pa!”

Bucky's heart ached at her words, his resolve deepening. He gently took her little hands in his, holding them firmly against his chest. “I promise you, sweetheart,” he whispered, his voice filled with unwavering determination. “I will always be your father, no matter what.”

As your daughter's breathing steadied into a peaceful slumber, Bucky continued to hold her close, his gaze softening. In the quiet of the room, a silent promise echoed in his heart. He vowed to protect her with all his strength, to be the rock she could always rely on.

Life settled into a comfortable rhythm. Your connection with Bucky deepened, a bond forged through shared experiences and mutual trust.

Your daughter blossomed under his love and guidance, and you found solace in his unwavering support. Laughter echoed through the house, and joy filled the air as you built cherished memories together.

But one stormy evening, the knock on your door came unexpected, the sound cutting through the peaceful evening.

As you opened it, your heart skipped a beat. Steve Rogers stood there, a man you hadn't seen in years. The years had marked him, casting shadows on his rugged features. He looked older, more worn, yet unmistakably him.

“Steve...” you said, barely able to hide your surprise.

“I came back.” Steve announced, his voice cold and detached, a stark contrast to the warmth you once knew. It was as if time had frozen him mid-way between the person he was and who he had become. 

“Thought I'd check on what I left behind...” he continued, the words hanging in the air like a silent accusation.

Your daughter, who had been clinging to your leg, peered around your legs, her eyes wide with curiosity at the familiarly unfamiliar figure. “Mommy, who's that?” she asked innocently. 

Before you could respond, Bucky stood next to you, his protective instincts immediately on high alert. “Steve,” he said, a mix of surprise and tension in his voice, “what are you doing here?”

Steve's gaze hardened as he glared at Bucky, frustration and jealousy evident in his eyes. “I see you didn't waste any time moving on!” he accused, his voice laced with bitterness. 

You stepped forward, placing yourself between them, your heart beating wildly. “Steve, you made your choice...” you said firmly, your voice unwavering. “ You chose your life. We had no choice but to find our own path.”

Bucky's fists clenched at his sides, his gaze unwavering as he regarded Steve with a mix of caution and protectiveness. He wouldn't let the man who had hurt you and left you when you were pregnant, intrude on your newfound happiness without a fight.

Steve's gaze shifted to your daughter, a flicker of something indistinguishable crossing his face. “Does she even know who I am?” he asked, a cruel undertone lurking in his voice. 

Bucky, ever the rock in your tumultuous life, responded firmly, his voice unwavering. “She knows her family!” he retorted. “And that's all that matters.” His words echoed with years of selfless love and devotion.

Steve's eyes darkened at Bucky's response, his jaw tightening in frustration. The reality of his absence and the changes that had taken place in your lives seemed to dawn on him with a bitter clarity.

Steve's laugh was devoid of any warmth or mirth, a cold, bitter sound that sent a chill down your spine. “So, you think you can replace me, Barnes?” he taunted, his tone laced with scorn. “You think you can just waltz in and claim what's mine?”

Steve's jealousy and possessiveness were palpable, his gaze fixated on Bucky. It was as if he saw your family as property that he had discarded and now sought to reclaim.

Bucky's fists clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowing at Steve's words. He didn't back down, standing firm in his role as your protector and father figure to your daughter. “This isn't about replacing you!” he countered, his voice steady. “It's about being here for them when you weren't.”

Steve's face darkened at Bucky's candid response, his resentment growing. The reality of his absence and the pain it had caused seemed to hit him all at once, yet his stubborn pride prevented him from fully acknowledging his own shortcomings.

Steve, in a desperate attempt to connect with his estranged daughter, approached her with a forced air of familiarity. “Hey princess...” he started, the pet name sounding hollow in his mouth, “I'm your father, your real father.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with implications and laced with a mix of guilt and longing. Your daughter, innocent and oblivious to the complex emotions at play, looked up at Steve with wide, unsuspecting eyes.

Relief washed over you as you recalled the conversation you had with your daughter not too long ago. Back then, knowing that Steve's return was a possibility, you had decided to tell her the truth about her father.

However, your daughter had taken that information and formed her own steadfast conviction: Bucky was her father.

Natalia, her small frame trembling slightly, clung to Bucky, her tiny hands holding onto him with unwavering determination. She peered out from behind him, her eyes locking onto Steve. “No!” she proclaimed with a defiant pout. “This is my Pa.”

Bucky's heart swelled with gratitude and pride as he felt Natalia cling to him, her tiny hands holding onto him with childlike determination. He gently placed his own hand over hers, a silent promise to shield her from any harm, whether it came from Steve or anyone else.

Steve, his ego bruised and his emotions in turmoil, couldn't hide the anger that surged through him. His face twisted with frustration, and his voice laced with a mix of bitterness and entitlement, he snapped, “She's my daughter! I have a right to see her.”

Before you or Bucky could respond, Steve's attention turned to your daughter again. His voice was laced with a possessiveness that sent a chill down your spine. “I'm your father!” he yelled, his tone filled with a mix of desperation and frustration. “Not him!”

Natalia, young and innocent, jumped in fright at his raised voice, her small frame trembling with fear.

Bucky, his protective instincts on high alert, wouldn't stand for anyone, not even Steve, scaring his daughter. Seeing Natalia tremble with fear, he instinctively stepped forward, shielding her from Steve's tumultuous presence.

Bucky's stance was unwavering, his body tensed and ready to protect Natalia at all costs. His loyalty to her and her well-being outshone any lingering attachment he might have had to Steve. In that moment, it was clear that nothing was more important to him than keeping her safe and shielded from harm.

Your voice, filled with unwavering conviction, cut through the tension. “Steve,” you said, your tone firm yet laced with a mix of hurt and anger, “enough. You left. You chose differently. You don't get to barge back into our lives and question the choices we had to make to move forward. Bucky has been here, through thick and thin, supporting us, loving us. You gave up that right when you walked away.”

Steve's face visibly tensed, his features contorting with a cocktail of regret and simmering resentment. The weight of his own choices seemed to settle heavily upon him, as your words hit their mark. After a palpable pause, he muttered, “Maybe I made a mistake coming here.”

The silence that stretched between you all was filled with a myriad of emotions - regret, longing, anger, and frustration. Bucky, standing steadfastly by your side, was a silent pillar of strength, his presence a testament to the bond you had forged in the wake of Steve's absence.

Bucky, his voice steady and resolute, “This isn't about making things right or reclaiming what's yours, Steve,” he said, his tone unwavering. “It's about what's best for them.” His eyes glinted with a mix of protectiveness and affection as he glanced at you and Natalia, his unspoken promise to always protect them evident in his demeanor.

Bucky's words carried weight, each syllable imbued with the depth of his commitment. “You had your chance,” he continued, his voice unwavering. “You made your choice, and we made ours. Now it's time for you to decide what's important to you - your past mistakes or their happiness.”

The room seemed to still, the intensity of Bucky's words hanging in the air. You could see the impact they had on Steve, his face etched with a mix of guilt and defiance, as if struggling to reconcile the reality of his actions with the life you and Natalia had built without him.

“You broke your promises, Steve,” you said, your voice tinged with a mix of disappointment and heartache. “You said you'd always be there, that you'd come back. But you didn't.” A pause hung in the air, the weight of your words palpable.

“Bucky,” you continued, your voice softening with gratitude, “he kept all of his promises. He was there for us, every step of the way.”

The weight of your words settled heavily in the room, emphasizing the contrast between Steve's broken vows and Bucky's unwavering loyalty.

Steve's gaze darted between you and Bucky, the weight of his actions sinking in. His voice lowered slightly, laced with a mix of frustration and resignation. “Fine,” he acquiesced, his tone softer yet tinged with bitterness. “But don't expect me to just disappear.” His words hung in the air, a mix of defiance and regret, hinting at his unwillingness to be completely shut out of the lives he had walked away from.

As Steve turned to leave, a flicker of realization crossed his face, a glimpse at the magnitude of what he had lost. The sound of the door closing behind him marked the finality of his departure, an indictment of his own choices. In the silence that followed, the weight of his loss and the solitude that was now his own doing became painfully apparent.

You found solace in Bucky's embrace, his warmth a balm to the chill left by Steve's presence. His arms encircled you, offering solace and security in the aftermath of the tumultuous encounter.

“We've got each other,” Bucky whispered, his voice a warm whisper against your skin, as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. The tumultuous storm outside mirrored the chaos of emotions stirred by Steve's visit, but in that moment, wrapped in Bucky's embrace, you found peace and certainty.

“That's all we need.” he murmured, emphasizing the bond that had grown between you. And amid the echoes of your past, your heart and future now stood firm in the present, fortified by your love for Bucky.

Natalia, her little hands tugging at Bucky's pant leg, looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Up, up!” she giggled, her voice sweet and eager. Bucky's face lit up with an affectionate smile as he scooped her up into his arms, lifting her up high with a hearty laugh.

Without hesitation, you stepped into the embrace, snaking your arms around both Natalia and Bucky, completing the circle of love. In that moment, as you clung to one another, you felt a profound sense of unity, a sense of being a family beyond blood or circumstance.

Meanwhile as Steve walked away from your doorstep, a heaviness settled upon him. The weight of his choices and the broken promises echoed loudly in the emptiness of his solitude. Although he couldn't change the past, he held onto a glimmer of hope that someday, he might find a place in his daughter's life.

However, for now, he was left to navigate the consequences of his actions, the storm of his loneliness mirroring the storm that had passed through your home.

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[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

9: NEW DAWN

Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter

You and Bucky deal with the fallout of the undercover mission.

Word count 3.3k

Warnings: reader coming to terms with Bucky's decision, trying to move forwards, betrayal, more miscommunication, anger, Bucky Barnes acting like a giant tool, Daisy Johnson and Melinda May make an appearance

The next morning you woke early, determined to carry out your plan. Slipping out of the compound, you drove out of the parking garage in one of the convertibles with the top down and wind blowing through your hair. It was freezing cold and you knew it was reckless because it looked like the heavens would open at any minute, but you didn’t care. You arrived at Coulson Academy just as several large raindrops started to fall, and you sniffed slightly from the cold air. Putting the top up, you got out of the car and ran for shelter under the large awning of the Academy entrance.

"Ugh!" You stopped to flick off the water from your jacket.

"Subtle entrance." Melinda May’s voice startled you.

You jumped out of your skin. "Jeez, May! Why do you always have to lurk around?"

"Wasn’t lurking. Just waiting for you."

"How did you know I was coming?"

"I heard about what happened."

"Steve?" you asked.

"Romanoff."

Of course it had been Nat. She knew everything that happened, she knew exactly what you would do. Maybe you ought to have talked to her before leaving.

"Why didn’t you stop me?" you asked.

"Because I knew you needed to make this decision on your own," May replied calmly. "And I knew you would come here eventually."

You sighed, feeling a mix of relief and anxiety. "I don’t know if I’m making the right choice."

May placed a hand on your shoulder. "There is no right choice here. You need to take care of yourself for once, instead of putting everyone else’s needs before yours. Teaching at the Academy is something you would be good at. You have so much to offer, and… I believe in you."

You looked up at her, grateful for her support. She wasn’t one for heart to heart conversations, preferring to ignore her emotions altogether. "Thank you, May. I just wish it didn’t have to end this way with Bucky."

May gave you a knowing look, she knew exactly how you felt without you having to explain it to her. "Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I'll be there to help you every step of the way."

"Can I stay with you for a while?"

May rolled her eyes, "fine."

You wrapped your arms around her in a quick hug. "You’re the best. I love you."

*

Natasha was waiting for you when you returned, lounging across the hood of one of the Porches, filing her nails.

"Tony won’t be best pleased if he sees you like that."

"I’m not too worried about Tony. I have more important things on my mind."

"Yeah?" you asked, knowing full well where the conversation was going.

"What happened last night?"

"Didn’t Steve tell you?"

"Rogers?" she scoffed. "He has no idea what he’s talking about half the time."

You looked around for signs of anyone nearby. The risk of having someone overhear your conversation was making you feel very uncomfortable. Natasha pulled you into a secluded corner with a view of the rest of the garage and gave you a very pointed look requesting that you spilled the beans. But somehow the words you wanted to choose made the problem seem trivial. So instead of telling her about all the events that had transpired, you kept it simple.

"He chose her. Apparently there isn't enough room in his life for both of us," you shrugged.

"Steve told me what she did." Your gaze snapped to Nat’s face, but her returning expression was angry. "I don’t understand why you didn’t tell him."

"It’s my word against hers, Nat. I have no proof that she took my idea. What am I supposed to say? His reaction last night proves that he doesn’t trust me." You sighed dismally.

"Do you need me to beat some sense into him?"

You smiled sadly at your friend.

"Sweetie, you need to tell him how you feel," she continued.

"I think it’s too late for that. I’ve made my decision."

"I can’t do anything to change your mind?"

"Please Nat," you pleaded. "This is hard enough."

She put her arms around your neck, leaning her forehead against yours. "But I’ll miss you."

"I’ll miss you too." You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug, trying not to let the tears start falling again. Eventually you pulled away, steeling yourself for the next step; telling Steve and Tony about your resignation.

*

As you made your way back into the compound, you caught sight of your best friend in the gym. He was pummeling a punching bag like he wanted to murder it.

You gathered every ounce of courage within you and approached Bucky, desperate to reconcile and recapture the bond you once shared. But as you reached out to touch his arm, he recoiled, his eyes blazing with a mixture of anger and hurt.

"Bucky, please. I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way-"

"I thought I knew you, but I feel like I don’t know you anymore," he said, his voice laced with sorrow. "I know how you feel about Priya-"

"Buck-"

"I can see it in your face. But I never thought you could be so spiteful."

Your heart, already shattered, fractured further still, and the tears you had held back cascaded down your cheeks. Your friendship, once unbreakable, seemed irretrievable. Bucky turned his back on you, leaving you broken, lost in a sea of regret and longing.

*

After drying your tears, you found Tony and Steve in the common area, deep in conversation. Taking a breath, you approached them, your voice steady but filled with emotion. "Tony, Steve, I need to talk to you both."

Tony looked up, concern etched on his face. "What's wrong, Cricket?"

You hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I... I need to resign from the Avengers."

Tony's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why?"

You took a moment to gather your thoughts before explaining. "I could make up some logistical excuse but you'll both know it's a lie. It's... it's because of Bucky. I can't continue to work alongside him knowing how I feel and knowing that he's with someone else. It's too painful for me."

Tony and Steve exchanged a knowing look before Steve spoke up. "We understand Cricket. We've seen how hard this has been for you. But are you sure this is what you want?"

You nodded, tears threatening to spill over. "I can't stay here and pretend everything is okay when it's not. I need to take a step back and figure things out."

Steve placed a comforting hand on your shoulder but he looked like he was at a loss for words. So he took the professional route of comfort. "You're a valuable member of the team."

"Stay, we can find you another partner." Tony stood up, coming over to you. "I can’t just let you go without a fight."

You smiled weakly, grateful for their understanding. "Thank you, Steve. And thank you, Tony. But I just need some time to myself."

As you turned to leave, Tony called out to you. "Hey Sport, if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to reach out. We're here for you."

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. It was time to focus on yourself and your own happiness, even if it meant leaving behind the life you had known as an Avenger. And maybe, just maybe, you would find a way to move on from Bucky and find your own path to happiness.

You'd barely taken three steps out of the common room before Steve caught up with you. "Have you spoken to him?"

"If you call ‘him telling me he doesn't even know who I am and then storming off’ speaking, then yes. I don't understand how this happened, Steve. I thought nothing could get between us."

"He loves you." Steve stopped in front of you. 

"Not anymore. He hates me."

Steve couldn't help but feel frustrated by how his two best friends could be so oblivious. 

"Look Steve, I'm sorry, I know Bucky’s your best friend. You don't need to hear me bad mouthing him." You stepped around him, making your way back to your room.

"Cricket, you're my friend too." Steve chased after you.

"Then will you help me pack?"

Steve sighed, he would never refuse anyone’s request for help. "Of course."

*

It hadn’t taken you long to pack your things into boxes. Your clothes weren’t difficult to shove into suitcases. Your wardrobe wasn’t extensive, having learned to live out of small spaces for many years, material things weren’t quite on your list of necessities. You had let Tony decorate your walls to his taste and you’d been pleasantly surprised at how good he was at guessing your tastes. However, you’d decided not to take these things with you when you left. It was time for you to make your own home. It was going to be a new challenge, you’d been involved with large institutions ever since you’d left home, and had never had to create a home for yourself before.

You turned to face Steve, Sam, and Nat, who were all standing in your room, looking at you with concern in their eyes.

"Come on, sugar cakes. Isn’t there any way we can convince you to stay?" Sam asked.

"I appreciate the sentiment, guys, but I need to do this," you said, zipping up your suitcase.

"Cricket, you’re too valuable a member of the team," Steve said, stepping forward.

"You know that’s just not true, but thank you for saying that. But I just can’t stay here knowing that Bucky’s mad at me," you replied, feeling a sting in your chest at the thought of leaving your best friend behind.

"Bucky will come around, he always does," Sam chimed in, trying to reassure you.

"I don’t think so, not this time. He’s really upset with me," you said, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.

Nat walked over to you and put a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Cricket, you can’t just leave because of this. You’re stronger than that."

You shook your head, wiping away a tear. "I can’t stay here, Nat. It’s too painful."

"We understand, but we don’t want you to go," Steve said, his voice filled with emotion.

"I know, but I have to do this. Please, don’t tell Bucky I’m leaving. I need to do this on my own terms," you pleaded, wondering if Bucky would even notice your absence.

The three of them exchanged a look before nodding in agreement. "Okay, we won’t tell him. But promise us you’ll keep in touch," Sam said.

You nodded, feeling grateful for their understanding. "I promise. Thank you, guys. I’ll miss you all."

You were the last to leave your room, the others had carried your things to the van you were borrowing from the garage. You sighed, you would miss the luxury and convenience that came with being a member of the Avengers Initiative. There were only a few things left in your room; the wolf plushie Steve had won you at Coney Island, you later realized that it reminded you of Bucky, and the still wrapped gift you had bought for Bucky, the card you’d written him still stuck to the top. There was no reason to take those things with you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away. You decided to leave them on your bed. The next owner of the room could decide what to do with them.

On your way out, you ambled past the hangar bay, spotting Bucky in full tactical gear prepping for a mission. You had no idea that he had been assigned to something. 

"You have a mission?" you blurted out, causing Bucky to turn to you.

"Yes." His voice was monosyllabic.

"Alone?"

"No."

"No, with me." Sharon materialized suddenly.

"Oh, hey Sharon. I hope you guys are safe out there."

Bucky looked back at you, a fleeting look of regret crossed his face, before he turned and walked away. He didn’t waste any time requesting a new partner, you thought. Just when you thought he couldn’t hurt you anymore. At least he would be safe with her; Sharon was a good agent, she would watch his back, that’s what mattered the most.

As you walked out of the compound, you felt a mix of sadness and relief. It was time to start a new chapter in your life, even if it meant leaving behind the Avengers and the man you loved. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but you were determined to make it work. And maybe, just maybe, one day Bucky would understand why you had to go.

*

Your friend, Daisy Johnson stopped by for a visit just after you had moved into your new apartment. You hadn’t seen her for a few years, since she had decided to travel the stars with her sister, Kora and now boyfriend, Daniel Sousa. She had insisted on coming over to your place, since May had insisted that you find your independence.

"So tell me, what’s the deal with your love life?" Daisy enquired after her third glass of wine.

"What love life?" you asked, sarcastically.

She laughed, "oh come on! You’ve been living in a building with all those Avengers! You can’t tell me that it’s all completely innocent!"

"Hey, just because you fell in love with your first S.O.!"

"Ouch! That’s a low blow! It’s not my fault Ward turned out to be a HYDRA psychopath!"

"No, he was out of this world."

"Literally!"

Both of you laughed, despite the pain that was associated with the memories of the parasitic inhuman who had infested and possessed the corpse of your dead traitorous colleague and used his body to control other inhumans. Sometimes there was nothing else to do but laugh.

"So, are you telling me that you haven’t gotten any sex since you moved in there?"

You shrugged.

"Not even Bucky Barnes? Like have you seen him?" Daisy had always expressed her attraction to your favorite super soldier, but she stopped as she noticed the change in your expression. "What is it? Did something happen with him?"

"No," you shook your head.

"Then why did you leave?"

You shrugged.

"Come on, spill. May wouldn’t tell me. But it’s got something to do with him, right?" Daisy scrutinized your face, coming to sit beside you. "Did he hurt yo-?"

"NO!" you responded before she had the chance to finish. "Not like that."

"But he did something."

"Bucky’s my best friend." You said, not being able to muster enough enthusiasm into your words for them to be believable.

"But?"

"We just clicked, you know? Right from the start. It was like we were made to be partners. We could share everything with each other, we knew what the other person was going to do in the field without even discussing it. But outside of that too, I felt like I could share anything with him. I even told him about…"

You didn’t have to explain yourself further, Daisy Johnson was the only other living person in the world who knew about the sexual abuse you had suffered as a teen. You had never told a soul when you had been an adolescent, fearing that you wouldn’t be believed, which had led to a lifetime of shame and a stigma of being seen as broken. But secrets often come out, whether you want them to or not. And during a mission, the man who had been responsible for your trauma was involved. Eventually your secrets had surfaced, no matter how deep you buried them, but Daisy had been there for you.

"But I thought there might be something more between us, something… as hard as I tried… I couldn't deny - I was… am in love with him."

"You are?"

"I never told him how I felt. I was afraid of ruining our friendship. But it feels like fate had other plans and he started dating Priya. I was happy for him, of course, but deep down, I couldn't help but feel … jealous.

"And as his relationship with Priya went on, I just found myself feeling more and more envious. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else being with him, especially when I knew how I felt. But I kept my feelings to myself, not wanting to cause any trouble." You sighed.

"What changed? What made you leave?"

"Bucky's birthday. I spent weeks planning the perfect gift for him, something that would show him how much he meant to me. But before I could give it to him, Priya just swooped in and stole my idea, presenting it to Bucky as if she had come up with it on her own.

"Bucky was thrilled with the gift, but when he turned to me expecting something from me, I- I didn’t know what to do. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that Priya had taken my idea, so I stayed silent. Daisy, he was so angry and hurt, thinking that I didn't care enough about him to get him a gift.

"In the end, he chose Priya over me, believing that she cared for him more. He said he loved her based on something I came up with! And I tried to apologize and explain, but he didn't … doesn’t want to hear it. He said felt like he never knew me, like our friendship had been a lie. Now he doesn’t even want me in his life!"

Daisy put her arms around your neck, pulling your head onto her shoulder. The wine had loosened your tongue and talking through what had happened was helping you to truly understand what had happened.

"I can’t believe this bitch!" Daisy muttered in your ear. "Want me to quake her for you?"

You let out a watery chuckle. "I just feel so alone. I know that it’s my own doing, I could have told him how I felt. I could hardly blame her at first, she had no idea. But now…I fucking hate Priya for coming between us, for stealing my chance at happiness with Bucky." You scoffed at your own words. "You know, deep down, I knew that it was my own fear and jealousy that had drove us apart in the first place. I let my feelings get in the way of our friendship, and now I’ve lost the one person who means the world to me." Talking to Daisy had given you time to take stock and really process what you had lost.

"So what’re you going to do now?" Daisy asked.

"What am I supposed to do, Daisy?"

"Let him cool off and try again!"

"And say what exactly? Take me back as your friend? I’m in love with you? He clearly doesn’t feel the same way, so what am I achieving other than getting hurt watching him being happy with someone else?"

"You could come with me, Kora and Daniel. We’re heading back off-world next week."

"And watch you and Daniel making those lovey-dovey faces at each other all day? Thanks, but I think I’ll pass."

"So you’re just going to teach? With May?"

"Yeah," you shrugged. "Teach and wallow about my sad, loveless life."

"You know I love you, right?" Daisy pouted at you.

You laughed, "yeah, I love you too."

Once Daisy left, you continued to think about Bucky. You missed the easy camaraderie you once shared with him, the way you could finish each other’s sentences and laugh until your sides hurt. But now, there was a distance between you that seemed insurmountable. Bucky had made his choice and you were left to pick up the shattered pieces of your friendship. You wondered if he ever truly understood how much you cared for him, how much he meant to you.

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[buckys-little-belle]

i have a fluffy drabble idea: steve or bucky (because they have super strength) using a throw blanket to sawddle wrap you to secure you to their chest. and then they carry you around while they do their tasks. and then you're lulled to sleep by their heartbeat and gentle voice explaining their paperwork to you

-🐝

Swaddle Snuggle

Steve Rogers x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used) / Bucky Barnes x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)

Warnings - Talks of reader feeling "down"/sad and/or stressed, snuggles, use of "Dada"

Notes - I made these headcannons because I feel like they'd both be so different when it comes to swaddle snuggles, and I couldn't pick just one of them to write about! This ask is also so old, like over a year old, and I miss my bee anon, and I'm sorry I didn't get this out sooner! I hope y'all like it!

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW!!!

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

Steve

Steve loves when you're snuggly and clingy. He always looks forward to the days where you can't be away from him for more than a second.

He used to just sit with you in his lap on the couch when you needed a close contact day, he'd do whatever work he could from his laptop, and he'd pick you up and carry you around the house when he had to get up.

But that wasn't very practical. He often had things during the day that required two hands, and you hated being put down.

So he adjusted, he found a light weight big blanket and created a swaddle sling. You sat with your legs around his waist like usual, chest to chest, with your hands trapped between the two of you. The blanket worked mainly as a bottom support keeping you in a sitting position against his chest, but it also went over your back, giving you extra warmth and allowing Steve to bend over when needed.

It made everything easier, you could stay snuggled against him and he could do computer work, or the laundry, or make lunch. He had two hands, and you had all the cuddles you needed.

If it was a cold day he would often lay a fuzzy blanket over your back when he sat down. He'd be sat in his office chair, you on his lap, and a fuzzy blanket keeping you warm from the open window's slight breeze.

To be fair he was a super solider ... So he ran warmer than most, and his body heat kept you quite warm.

Nap time was nice because instead of being on the second floor in your playroom, far away from you Dada, you could take a nap wherever he was.

The comfort of his hand rubbing slow circles against your back comforting you. And the constant pitter patter of his keyboard keys often lulled you to sleep.

Bucky

Bucky didn't wait for you to have needy days. He sometimes needed to have you in his arms all day to remind him that you were there, with him and needing him.

So he'd found a way to wrap you up, the same as Steve. You plastered to his chest as he went about his day.

He didn't work at a desk as often as Steve, so he often had you with him as he went on a walk around the property, finding cool stones and sticks to add to your collection. You'd be stuck close to him as he meal prepped for the week, him saying the recipes and directions out loud as soft instrumental music played.

That often lulled you to sleep. The soft swaying that happened as he walked around the kitchen, and his deep voice mixed with the soft music. It was easy to fall asleep that way.

Sometimes he'd have you sit in the wrap facing the other way, your back to his chest.

He'd have you that way as he worked on the cars, your hands able to hold onto wrenches or random objects to keep you engaged. Because he would pick random days to have you stuck to him you often were more hyper aware. Talking and babbling about things, grabbing for things with your hands.

But he still needed you so close, so you sat facing outwards. He liked the way he could snuggle you close at all times, but still hear your infectious laugh, and how he could make sure you didn't leave his sight, but you could also still play go fish with him.

Even though they were two very different ways to be swaddled you looked forward to both. Excited to be Steve's little Snuggle Bear or Bucky's little Sidekick.

[deliciousangelfestival]

His Silly Princess | Bucky (Oneshot)

Character: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader

Words Count: 1,671

Summary: A modern royal love story. A naive princess who wants to get away from an arranged marriage. She never knew that her guard had loved her since the beginning. 

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Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more. 

Zylovia is a country where monarchy still exists. It’s a developed country located near Western Europe. 

It’s a prosperous country, and the number of unemployed is also the lowest. Tourists love coming here for the casino, race car, and music festival. 

But this country has one outdated rule. It didn’t apply to the citizens. Only for the royal family. 

“If the female royal member marries a commoner, she will lose her status."

You learned that rule when you were 12 years old as the youngest siblings and Princess Zylovia. You didn't put a deep thought into it. 

But now, when you are almost 30 years old, and your older siblings are already married, you think this is good for you.

Because you realize you’re not fit to do the duty as a princess. 

Your oldest brother has prepared since he was a kid to be the king. When he reaches the age of 40, he will be crowned as the king. Your second brother will be the second commander in the military. 

While you have a job as a painting conservator at the museum, your duty as a princess is to welcome the official foreign guest at the castle. You learned some languages, but you’re not allowed to give any opinion on politics.

You don’t hate being a royal, but sometimes you feel like living in a golden cage. 

And finally, you had enough because, on your recent birthday, your parents talked to you about marriage. 

The king and queen don’t want to be separated from their youngest daughter, but they hint that they wish for her future husband from the royal circle. In other words: arranged marriage. 

You clenched your jaw while smiling at your parents. If the man from the royal circle is a real gentleman, you wouldn’t mind. 

But the problem is, please pardon the harsh language; none of the men from the royal family are your type. 

Your type of man must have a stable job, look good in suits, and have a nice body. 

That’s why, for a couple of days, you’ve made a list of potential future husbands. After you write it, you realize most of the men are from the knights. Perhaps because you always went to meet your second brother at the military training ground, so you know some people. 

Steve Rogers

[Friendly, not married, nerd, loves to paint like me]

Ari Levinson 

[Funny, beautiful hair, handsome]

‘Knock, knock!’ Suddenly, someone knocked on your door.

“Come in.”

You didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. You have known him for years, and your ears are familiar with the sound of his footsteps. 

The person who walked into your room has been your exclusive bodyguard for years - James Barnes, but you always call him Bucky his nickname. 

Bucky is a commoner and an elite soldier. If there’s a shooting competition, he will be in the top three. Your second brother always hates him. 

He has received many medals of honors, but he rejects a knight title from your father. You don’t understand why he declined the offer. If he received it, he could enter politics, and he doesn’t have to follow her around anymore. 

He’s tall, handsome, with perfect blue eyes and has fine muscles on his body. Bucky also has a primarily female fanbase when he wears the military uniform and rides a horse at the independence ceremony. 

He became a celebrity overnight.

But you have never seen or heard any rumor about him with a woman. 

“Your highness, in two hours you are going to attend the tennis tournament.” 

You dropped the pen and dropped your head to the table. “Urgh. Do I have to?”

Bucky chuckled when he saw you unwilling to go. One thing you hate about your duty is to be the guest at the tennis game. You prefer to watch the race car, but it's reserved for your brother's. 

Even though you didn’t want to go, you still dragged your feet to the dressing room to grab your coat. 

When you were searching for the right outfit, you suddenly remembered. “Oh no!” You didn’t hide the potential list that you just wrote. You wish you could dig your own grave and disappear. 

And you were right; Bucky saw your writing. He furrowed his eyebrows while he read your paper. “What’s this? Potential man for marriage?”

You stand beside him; you don’t know why you feel scared. This is the first time you have seen him like this. 

His slender, pointed fingers scratched the two names with his nails. There’s a big X on your paper. 

“Don’t marry any of those men.”

“Why?”

A small smile appeared on his lips, along with a soft voice, “Steve hasn’t moved on from his last girlfriend, and Ari, he loves to drink alcohol. I know you hate the smell of alcohol.”

You felt disappointed; you crumpled the paper and threw it into the trash.

“Marriage? Why all of a sudden?” There's an annoyed tone in his voice.

You rubbed your head and muttered, “I need to get married sooner, or my parents will arrange marriage for me, their friend's kid. And you know the truth, I had enough of being a princess.”

Bucky crossed his arms. “But, why them?”

“What?”

He clenched his fist; Bucky stared at her with an annoyed expression. “Why didn't you put me on the list?”

“....”

You waved your hand. “It doesn’t matter, as long as I got married.”

“So, would you like to marry me?”

Are you having hallucinations? Did Bucky just propose to you?

Bucky got on his knees. “Let’s get married.”

You still haven’t come to your senses. Bucky started talking again. “Think about it. Both of us have known each other for a long time. We’ve known each other's likes and dislikes. We’ve been through many things together.”

He’s right. He’s the safest choice if you want to marry someone. You shrugged your shoulders and accepted his hand. “Alright.”

Bucky's beautiful smile appeared on his face. Before he shook your hand, he felt you slightly pull his hand. When you saw him smile, your heart raced. “But, if in the end, we don’t like each other, please wait after three years, then we could get a divorce.”

Bucky chuckled; his attractiveness is not just in his physical appearance but also in his ability to manage his emotions gracefully and restraintfully. He leaned closer to you, and his hands gently grabbed your chin. 

As his calloused hand touched your skin, a subtle warmth spread on your cheeks. You could feel you're blushing. “Silly girl, it will never happen.”

#######

[Bucky P.O.V]

Then he rests your arms on his. “Then you have the excuse to skip the tournament.”

“Hmm?”

“We should inform this first to His Majesty and Her Majesty.”

“Oh, right.” You nodded, then looked straight into his blue eyes again. “This soon?”

********

When both of you walk through the hallway to meet the King and Queen, Bucky tries his best to calm down. He almost lost his common sense when he saw you write another man's name, and there’s a word of ‘potential husband.’

He looks at you and thinks ‘his silly princesses didn’t realize his feelings for her.’ 

Didn’t she know he declined the offer to be a knight so he could be her guard?

If he became a knight, he would work with her second brother. That’s the last thing he wants to do. 

“So, Bucky, don’t worry about money. When I resign as a princess, the kingdom will give us money.”

Bucky chuckled, seeing his sweet princess worried about their future, “That’s so sweet of you. But you don’t need to worry about that.” He gently patted her arms. He wants to tell you that he owns the famous casino in this kingdom and 5-star hotel chains in a few countries.

When both of you are married, Bucky will ensure you don’t have to work anymore. He is pretty sure that her parents will give their blessings even though he’s a commoner (and he’s super rich). The royal family has outdated rules, but because of it, he could marry you. 

Both of you arrived at the king's office room. The guards bowed their heads to greet you. Then you said, “Princesses Y/N and her guard. Wait… and her future husband, James Barnes wants to meet the king.”

The guards and the butler who opened the door lost their composure. They should have known from your body language walking here together hand in hand when usually Bucky always stands behind you. 

This news is shocking compared to the crown prince, who got caught partying too hard and the second prince, who had a messy love life before he got married. 

It seems like your father, the King, hears your voice. Before the castle butler tells him, you hear the gentle voice, “Come in.”

########

[2 years later]

<Former Princess of Zylovia Y/N, blessed with male twins>

It's the biggest headline in the country after you gave birth. You feel overwhelmed; you can't believe that you're parents now. 

The King and Queen hold your oldest son, while Bucky has the youngest son in his arms. 

Bucky's eyes are full of love, looking both at his sons. He was almost scared to death since you gave birth one month early. But the doctor assured both of you this is normal since you're pregnant with twins. 

Even though you're not a princess, you're still surrounded by your family. 

And Bucky still treats you like a princess. You almost lost your mind when he told you his business, which turned into your parents, and your brothers already know it, too. 

You want to knock your head; you didn't even know Bucky's business helped increase the country's GDP. 

Everyone said Bucky was the lucky guy to marry the former princess, but they were wrong. It's you who is lucky to marry him.

-End-

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[mrs-barnes-rogers-writes]

Angel - Part 2

Marvel AU

Pairing: Alpha Steve Rogers x Enhanced Omega Reader x Alpha Bucky Barnes

Theme: A/B/O / True Mates

Summary: It's different when you're enhanced. Everything is different, every smell, every sound, touch, feelings. The way it's different doesn't make sense unless you are enhanced. Throw in what comes with Alpha and Omega instincts, and the intensity of your presentation is even more than any other. When you find yourself in need of help you can call on the alpha you trust the most, Natasha Romanoff. You just don't expect to find your alphas at the same time. Are you really enough for them? And can you really be the Luna to the Avengers?

"To be loved, to be loved by your mate is everything." - Wanda Maximoff

Reader is enhanced, has wings and has powers connected to electricity.

Chapter Summary: Clint and Nat discover what's happened to you.

Chapter Warning: Mentions of sexual assault and attempted rape.

Clint’s the first to find you.

You’re sitting in the ditch your knees to your chest, head down and your wings wrapped around you.

“I have her, slow approach.”

He slowly knelt down in front of you, keeping a two metre distance. He had never seen your wings so dark, as black as they were now. You’d told him early on in your friendship that they changed colour with your moods. The darker, the worse the mood. He’d only seen them pure white a couple of times and it was always around his kids or laughing with Nat and Laura on the porch at the farm. But right now, they were as dark as night, like Lucifer himself had given them to you.

“Y/N? Sweetie it’s me. It’s Clint. Can you let me see you?”

Your wings dipped ever so slightly and your tear filled eyes looked back at him. It didn’t take a detective to figure out what had happened. Even his beta nose could pick up the stink of the alpha on you and he knew that scent. If he didn’t kill the alpha responsible, Romanoff definitely would. Clint knew what he had to ask you and he hated having to ask, knowing he really already knew the answer, but protocol was protocol and he knew at least a dozen agents that practically worshipped you and would bring in the piece of shit, to save him and Romanoff the trouble. They’d get you settled and then have him delivered to them. Wanda would want in on this and he was sure Wade owed you a favour. Yeah that would do it but now he needs you out of this ditch.

“Y/N? Do you require a female senior officer for debrief?”

You nodded weakly in reply.

Purposeful footsteps made themselves known and you saw Natasha’s silhouette appear from the darkness, the sparse street lights being all to light the ditch.

“Angel?”

The smell and look in your eyes hit Natasha like a freight train and she knew right then she was putting some red in her ledger. She tried her best to keep the growl muffled in her chest as she pulled out a pair of medical gloves from her pocket, as Clint mimicked her actions.

“Bruce call Hill, direct line, tell her we need her on a video call immediately. AR and SA suspected. Debrief required.” Clint requested over comms as he and Natasha slowly reached out to you, their hands outstretched. You placed a hand in one each of theirs and they slowly lifted you up, both noticing how your face contorted with pain.

“We’ve got you.” spoke Clint softly as he slipped an arm around your waist, “this OK?”

You let out a shuddered breath and nodded. Nat mimicked Clint’s actions, pushing down her inner alpha’s rage. Both supported you keeping the smallest of gaps between you so not to contaminate your suit too much and damage the evidence you were covered in.

The light breeze generated from F.R.I.D.A.Y bringing around the jet blew your hair back and Clint got a clearer view of your face, and could see a clear the mark where you’d been struck. Bruce appeared on the already lowered ramp and you noticed he was also wearing gloves and a disposable apron.

“Hills online and everything is set up.”

As you entered the jet you became aware of what Bruce meant and saw a projection of a live video call from Deputy Director Hill, a stern look on her face. A plastic sheet was laid in front of the screen, and on it laid a clear bag, swabs, scissors and nail clippers. You stepped on the sheet and Hill pushed down a growl, trying to hide it as a clearing of her throat as she saw the state you were in.

“Agent, please confirm your identity.”

You signed back.

AFH 27, code name Angel

“I’m going to need verbal communication if possible Agent.”

You gesture at your throat, getting frustrated when you realised you weren’t being clear.

“I don’t think she can.” Bruce replied for you, noticing the bruising making its way up your neck. He placed a tablet in front of you, the internal state of your vocal calls displayed.

There was a muttered Jesus Christ from Hill.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y give her a full body scan for injuries, fluids and any other evidence.”

“Agent, tell me what happened.”

TAGLIST

@hnnhbananananana

[veltana]

Realization - Mafia AU prequels - Stucky

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Stucky/Fem!Reader ✦ Word count: ~1.6k ✦ Rating: Explicit ✦ Warnings/tags: smut, top!bucky, bottom!steve, hurt/comfort, unrequited love/crush, angst, lots of fluff and feels, blow job, anal sex. ✦ Summary: There is a strange sting in Steve's chest, it began burning when you skipped in the door, showing off the diamond on your finger. It feels unreal. Not that someone would want to marry you, because you’re lovely, but that you’re getting married to someone else. ✦ Note: This is a prequel to No one as sweet as you set while they were living together in college, which focuses on their growing relationship and how Bucky and Steve started to develop feelings for Sweets as more than just their best friend. You don't need to read No one as sweet as you to get this but I recommend it. (Also posted on AO3) Series masterlist

Main masterlist | AO3

Steve waves goodbye with a smile and closes the door softly behind you, then leans his head against it and lets out a breath. Bucky's hand lands on his shoulder, squeezing it. "She's happy," Bucky whispers, trying to hide the pain in his voice. Pushing away from the door, Steve nods but he can’t help but feel like half of his heart just left.

"She's engaged," Steve mumbles as he walks back to the living room and sits down on the couch, grabbing what’s left of the whiskey and downing it.

There is a strange sting in Steve's chest, it began burning when you skipped in the door, showing off the diamond on your finger. It feels unreal. Not that someone would want to marry you, because you’re lovely, but that you’re getting married to someone else.

Confused, he turns to Bucky and without a word the other man reaches for him, pulling him into a tight hug meant for comfort and support. They rarely say anything out loud, but all of Bucky’s love is in the hug.

Steve might not have realized it sooner but Bucky has known for years that there would only be two people for him and that is you and Steve, but he's kept it to himself, mainly because you've been in a long-term relationship since right after college and because Steve has always seemed happy for you.

Bucky is happy for you too, of course. He's happy when you're happy and tonight you glowed, proudly displaying the ring your boyfriend had placed on your finger two nights before. You beamed as you described the candles, petals, and wonderful words he'd told you.

The happiness and bottomless despair had mixed in Bucky's chest like a vortex, threatening to cause a scene where he would spew out all of his doubts and he didn't want that for you. He is your best friend and will support you through the whole marriage, just so he can stay by your side.

Steve's fingers grip Bucky's shirt. "Why am I not happy for her?" he questions loudly and Bucky can only say, "Because you love her," gently. "Of course I love her,” Steve pulls away, raking his fingers through his hair. “She's our best friend, she's like the most amazing person I know and she's getting married and I'm not happy…" he trails off, meeting Bucky's knowing eyes.

"Oh," Steve just says and Bucky nods, leaning back against the cushions. "How long have you…?" He doesn't say the words but Bucky knows what he means. "Remember when she dated Loki?" Steve nods and Bucky shrugs. "Right around that time.”

Steve feels like Bucky has grown two heads. He is so casual about the whole thing while it feels like Steve's insides are drowning in black tar. "How do you…?" "Bare it?" Bucky raises an eyebrow and when Steve nods he continues. "Well, I just tried to be there for her when she needed me. I didn’t want to push anything since she clearly said she wanted to stay away from relationships after Loki. And then you know, dad passed, and I started down this line of work together with you, and she met him," he shrugs again. "I would rather live with the pain than without the two of you in my life."

Steve's eyes search Bucky's for a moment. "You'll always have me," he states, making Bucky smile. "And every day I am grateful for that," he says in a low voice, gently grabbing Steve's chin and kissing him.

Steve loves kissing Bucky, it's like coming home to a warm fire after wading through cold mud. The kiss quickly turns heavy and Steve starts pulling on Bucky’s clothes. Withdrawing, Bucky strokes his cheek. “What do you need?” “I don’t know,” Steve confesses.

Bucky nods and moves his hand to the back of Steve’s head, fisting the hair and pulling his head back slightly. “You just do as I say, okay?” “Okay,” Steve answers, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, eyes already calmer.

They don’t use titles like sir or master or anything like that, it’s never been their thing, but Bucky knows just what Steve needs at a time like this. And if it was the other way around, Steve would do the same for him.

“Good, who do you belong to Steve?” “You, Bucky,” he quickly answers. “And?” “Sweets,” his voice is pained. "Good Steve," Bucky praises and sees Steve’s shoulders relax more. “Now get on the floor and suck my dick.”

Steve goes and it feels so good to not have to make any decisions and just focus on Bucky. In the back of his head, he knows he’s going to have to deal with his feelings for you later, but right now he just wants any relief he can get.

He opens up Bucky’s pants and takes his cock out, not hesitating a second before swallowing him down. Bucky’s fingers tangles in Steve’s hair, moving his head up and down, his own tipped back against the couch, moaning. "Just like that. Your mouth feels so good, Steve. Fuck, you’re so good at this."

He hums in appreciation, taking Bucky as deep as he can, letting his tongue caress the length, focusing on giving him all the pleasure he can. Steve's own dick is painfully hard but he knows better than to do anything about it, and he knows Bucky will take care of him.

"I'm going to come down your throat," Bucky warns, giving him the option to stop, but he doesn't. A few deep swallows later and Bucky is shooting down his throat, a groan of Steve's name leaving his mouth in the process.

Steve pulls off and swallows dutifully. Bucky's hand strokes the side of his face. "Clothes off," he demands quietly and in moments Steve is naked, kneeling on the floor. Bucky stands up, slowly losing his clothing, revealing the body Steve has seen hundreds of times but never gets tired of looking at.

It's hard to keep himself going slow. Steve looks so pretty and helpless on the floor in front of him, Bucky wants to push him down and fuck him hard and fast. But he knows he needs to drag this out for Steve's sake, let him out of his head as long as Bucky can manage.

That's why he holds Steve's gaze as he undresses, keeping him right in the moment. He sits back down when he's done, his cock not yet hard again, but he knows how to remedy that.

"Get the lube and get up here," he commands and Steve scrambles, still on his knees to get the lube hidden in a drawer in the coffee table, before crawling onto the couch and straddling Bucky.

Steve's not a small man and Bucky has to crane his neck to look up at him. He takes the lube in one hand, coating his fingers generously before reaching back behind Steve. "Ah, Buck!" Steve's voice is honey and Bucky can't help but smile as he slowly starts to work Steve open.

"Hold onto me," he instructs and Steve's hands grasp his shoulders. Bucky's other hand goes to Steve's cock, lazily stroking it.

"So good for me. Always so good," he murmurs as Steve takes another finger. Trembles start going through his body and Bucky lets his cock go, knowing that keeping Steve on edge will only help him. The grip Steve has is bruising, his mouth hanging open, and small pants fall continuously from his lips. It makes Bucky smile, knowing he is making him feel better. Feel good even.

"Buck," Steve pleads in a whisper, eyes tightly closed. "I don't know if you're ready Stevie," Bucky teases and works the third finger in. With a growl, Steve grabs the lube and reaches down to Bucky's cock, which is hard once again. As soon as Steve's slick fist grabs him he moans loudly.

"Yes, fuck, you’re ready. Only teasing, dammit," Bucky groans and withdraws his fingers, wiping them on a blanket nearby. Before he is done Steve has positioned himself and starts sinking down.

Their moans fill the room quickly. It's a pleasure to watch Steve's muscled body move, in any way, but especially like this. The sweat is making him shine, looking like a god.

"You're taking me so well. So perfect. Fuck you're beautiful," Bucky tells him and grabs his cock. He needs Steve to finish first and his own orgasm is approaching too quickly. "Gonna need you to come for me Steve," he says. "Paint us with your cum and let me fill you up."

Steve lets Bucky's voice carry him, doing as he's told and angling his hips, getting the thick cock just right. "That's it," Bucky praises. Steve tips his head back as the feeling climbs until he finally reaches the peak. Bucky is seconds behind him.

The only downside to Steve being just as tall and broad as Bucky is that Bucky can’t pick him up and carry him. Instead, he settles on pulling Steve into him, holding him tightly, and kissing the skin where he can reach. Steve’s hammering heart and panting breath slow after a while and he sags into Bucky.

"I am so fucking stupid," he murmurs. The reprieve Bucky created for him is over and now it’s all coming back quickly. "How did I not understand this earlier?" "Feelings are complicated, Steve. But we’re going to get through this, I promise.” “I love you, Bucky.” It’s not something they tell each other often, but it feels important to say it now, more than ever. “I love you, Steve. And Sweets do too.”

prev

[inmyicyworld]

My everything

Summary: The last thing that Bucky ever expected to see was the love of his life from the past trapped in one of the Hydra bunkers in the cryofreeze chamber. Yet here he was almost two days later, staring at your still unconscious body through the window at the medical wing, imagining the horror and disgust on your face when you found out that he was no longer the innocent and happy boy you knew before.

Words count: 6.8k

Warnings: I fucked up the whole timeline sorry, no civil war and no infinity war in my world, avengers live in their tower as a family, my baby Bucky has a lot of issues and regrets, lots of feelings, happy ending as always.

Author’s note: one of my works hit more than 1,000 notes and i’m so so so grateful to every single person who supported me.

I had this idea for a while, and I finally decided to write because I had barely seen any works with this plot. if y’all like it, might as well write the second part with smut🥰

*English is not my first language, sorry if you find any mistakes*

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“Aren't you fucking tired of this?” Bucky growled as he burst into the common room where Sam, Steve, and Natasha were sitting. "If you set me up on another date, Wilson, I'll break your fucking wings."

Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Calm down, cyborg. Look at you, all angry and stressed out; you need to get laid! When was the last time you’ve been on a date?"

Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise as he glanced between his two friends.

"Sit down, Barnes." Nat nodded her head at the couch across from her. Bucky hesitated for a few seconds, as too many feelings were bubbling inside of him, but he obeyed and sat down, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now explain what happened.”

 "This idiot is trying to set me up again.” He said, nodding towards Sam. "And I told you I'm not interested."

 “But why? Don't you want to feel like back in the days and have some fun with pretty women? This Hydra shit clearly wasn’t good for you. You’re too tense and always mad. Go on a date, maybe you’ll find a good girl to spend some time with.” Sam genuinely wanted to help his friend, and he didn’t understand why Bucky was so mad about it.

The look on Bucky’s face was weird. Like he wanted to say something but, at the same time, didn’t want to share his thoughts. 

“Are you already dating someone?” Natasha leaned with her elbows on her knees and studied his face. There was definitely something that Bucky didn’t want to say.

Steve looked between the three of his friends, and when Nat asked Bucky a question, it was like a bulb turned on in his head.

 "Buck…" Bucky met Steve's eyes, holding eye contact for a few seconds, like they were talking about something that only they knew.

 “Hey!” Sam said, waving his hands. “What are you two doing? Do you know something, Rogers?”

 “Buck, is it because of her?” The blonde said it almost in a whisper. “You still remember, right?”

“Did you have a girlfriend before the war?” Natasha, as always, understood everything immediately, and it was funny to see how Sam’s mouth fell open in shock.

Bucky clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap, not sure if he should reveal the truth. He had kept it to himself for so long—ever since he escaped Hydra and the memories from the past started to flood his head. It was too painful to think about you. To think about the woman who was his whole life many years ago. He remembered everything, and now he sees you in his dreams almost every night. Sometimes in nightmares, sometimes in the good ones, about the life that you two would’ve had if he hadn’t gone to war.

“What the hell are you hiding from us?” Sam shouted again, trying to get attention.

 “I…” Bucky frowns, staring at his hands. “I had a girlfriend... before the army, before the Hydra.” He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. Just the thought of you hurt him, making him regret everything. That he left, that he didn’t marry you, and that the universe had this shitty plan.

 “And that’s why you don’t want to go out with someone?” Come on, man, how long has it been?  80 years? Get over it. It must have been another one of your girlfriends that you hooked up with when you were young.” He chuckled, looking between his friends, none of whom seemed happy with his choice of words.

 "Sam, don't—"

“You sound like an asshole.” 

 “Get over it?” Bucky didn’t let Steve or Nat finish their sentences before he barked at Sam, looking even more angry than before. “Just another one of my girlfriends? Do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about, Wilson? " He looked like he was ready to kick his friend right in the face. “She wasn’t one of them. In fact, there was no “them”. In my entire life, I’ve never even touched another woman because I've been in love with Y/N since I was 14. We started dating when I turned 18, and I proposed before I had to go to the war.”

Bucky’s emotions quickly changed as the hot rage turned into a longing for memories and feelings. He felt a lump in his throat, so he reached into his pocket for his wallet, from which he pulled out your old and shabby photo, gently running his finger over your face.

“Y/N was everything to me. She said yes, and I promised her that I would return so we could get married. I imagined that I would spend my whole life with her, you know? I don't need any other woman. I do not want it. I still love her, and I don't care if either of you find it funny.

The room fell into heavy silence. Steve just looked out the window, remembering the times when the three of you went to Coney Island, and he was always the third wheel. You were his friend too, and the aching feeling in his chest was too heavy.

Sam felt a little bit awkward after saying these things about your relationships. He wanted to tease Bucky, not be rude.

Natasha was the one who took the first step when she stretched the arm so Bucky would give her the photo. “You two look so cheesy. She’s really gorgeous.” She smirked, looking at the old black-and-white photo of you two sitting on the bench. Your back was almost lying on Bucky’s body, and his arms were wrapped around you. It seemed like you were talking about something and enjoying the private moment. Bucky had the biggest smile Natasha has ever seen on his face, as he was looking at you with heart eyes.

 “Can I see?” Sam finally asked, nodding at the photograph in Natasha's hands. She passed him the photo and Bucky’s move in his place, feeling a little bit uncomfortable about revealing this part of his life. 

“You two look cute. Weird to see a smile on your face.” Sam chuckled.

“Where did you find this photo?” Steve leaned closer to the picture, immediately remembering the day you and Bucky took it and the way Bucky has had it with him ever since.

 “I took it to the war. Always had it in a jacket, even on missions. She was with me that day on the train. I think Hydra found this in my pocket. When I ran away from there, I found a box with my stuff; the photo was there.”

 “Have you… tried to find something about her?” Steve lifted his head, studying his friend's reaction.

 “Yeah,” Bucky sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know how, but I didn’t find anything. Two years after my fall, there was no record of her. No marriage certificate, no place of residence, no place of work. Nothing. Like she just disappeared.” He shook his head in despair. 

 “But it's impossible.” Steve frowned, giving the photo back. “A person can't just disappear and leave nothing behind.”

 "I don't know," Bucky shrugged, looking back at the photo for a second and then slipping it back into his wallet. "Maybe it's for the best. I don't know how I would come to terms with the news of her death.”

It’s been almost two weeks since that conversation, and luckily for Bucky, Sam didn’t attempt to set him up with anyone anymore.

Earlier that day, Tony announced that his new technology had spotted some weird activity in something that looked like an old and hidden Hydra base. It was pretty much abandoned, but there were signs of small energy consumption, as if something was still constantly working. That’s why the team of Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Tony had to check it out and destroy any possible danger.

After being free from Hydra, Bucky didn’t take part in many missions because the team agreed that it would be better for him to heal and stay far away from triggers. But this base brought up many concerns: it was hidden far away, there was no information about it in nonofficial papers, and even Bucky himself had never heard about it. Tony insisted that someone with knowledge of the Hydra system should go there too.

When the four of them arrived on the quinjet at something that looked like a well-hidden abandoned bunker, they decided not to split up and go through the main and only entrance.

“Be careful; we don’t know that they might hide in here.” Steve said, going in first with a shield in front of him. Bucky and Sam went after him, holding rifles and checking the big and almost empty room.

“They should clean in here, kinda dusty.” Tony chuckled in his usual playful voice. 

“It’s not a good time for your jokes, Stark.” Steve was always a little too serious during missions, and Tony really liked pushing his buttons. “I see the light in the other room.” He whispered, carefully opening the door. 

“Holy shit.” Sam and Tony spoke at the same time when all four of them entered the giant room.

There were five big glass machines that were a little bit foggy and had a little lightning in them.

“What is this?” Steve ran closer to one of them and saw that there was a man inside. “Oh my god, there is a man in here... It looks like he’s alive.”

“There is a folder called “The Winter Soldier Program” with personal information.” Sam said, picking up a file from the shelf in the corner of the room. “George Harris, 27 from New York. Kathleen Hill, 21 from New York…” He read, mumbling to himself.

“It’s a cryostasis chamber. Hydra used it to freeze me.” Bucky lowered his rifle, coming closer to one of the chambers. Another man. “It lowers your body temperature to the point that you can be kept like that for many years. Hydra– “ Bucky went silent when he got to another glass camera. 

“Barnes? Why is there—” Sam didn’t finish his words when the sound of Bucky’s weapon falling on the cold concrete filled the room. 

“No-no-no, please, no!” He whispered, moving closer to the glass. He couldn’t believe what he saw. 

You were right in front of him, with closed eyes and too pale skin. That was impossible. It’s not you. There was no chance that you somehow ended up with Hydra. 

Bucky felt like he was unable to breathe. He tried to inhale some air, but the lump in his throat was too big. The tears blurred his vision; he didn’t hear anything around him, as your almost lifeless body was the only thing that he thought about. You, his sweet girl, somehow ended up trapped with monsters, and he couldn’t do anything to save you from it. 

“Bucky!” Two pairs of hands dragged him from the chamber, and the blurry vision of his best friend was now visible in front of him. “Bucky, listen to me! You should calm down, buddy. Just breathe, okay?” Steve deeply inhaled and exhaled to help Bucky, and after a few minutes, he was finally able to speak.

“T-that’s impossible, Steve. She shouldn’t be there! She should’ve found another man and lived a happy life with her family!” He said in a shaking voice, angrily wiping away tears from his face. 

“I don’t know how this happened, Buck; I really don’t. But she may be alive there.” Steve supportively squeezed Bucky’s shoulder. 

“We can’t just take these people out. We should transport them to the tower and find the safest way to unfreeze them.” Tony said in a serious voice, not joking around anymore. He walked closer to the chambers, studying each of them. “It looks like they are working on their own power, and this one, “he pointed at the one that was dark and with water drops from the inside. “Doesn’t work anymore. The man is probably dead.” 

“Are there any chances of getting them out of there alive?” Sam glared at Bucky, who was just staring at your peaceful but haggard face through the glass.

“I don’t know, but me and Banner will do everything we can.”

It took another day to find a way to move four of the still-working chambers to the compound and ten more hours to defrost everyone. and to say that Bucky was completely stressed out and exhausted was an understatement. He didn’t sleep at all, staying in the room near the lab to get all the news as soon as possible. He walked around the room for hours, overthinking everything—what will happen if you die or if you survive? Is it really better for you to wake up and see all the damage that he has done for the past years? To see the empty shell of the person you loved in the past?

“Barnes!” Tony blasted through the doors with a grin on his face. “We did it.”

“You did it?” Bucky’s whole body was buzzing with energy and anxiety. “Where is she? Is she alive? Is she conscious? Can I see her?”

“Wow-wow, calm down. She is alive, but you can’t see or visit her right now. Dr. Cho has to run many tests to find out whether your lovebird is healthy or not.” Tony nodded his head toward the corridor so Bucky would follow him. “We put each of them into a different room, and your Blonde Bestie insisted on putting Y/N into the best and the biggest one. There is a special window through which you can see her, but she cannot see you from the inside. So you can be as creepy as you want to until she gets better.” Stark slapped Bucky on the shoulder to show some kind of support when they stopped in front of the said window. 

You were lying on the bed, surrounded by too many wires and monitors. Dr. Cho was standing above you, writing something down, and checking the device near your head.

She said something aloud, probably talking to FRIDAY, and came out of the room. 

“Oh, Mr.Barnes, I heard that Y/N was your girlfriend, right?” She smiled, and Bucky slightly nodded, not being able to completely drag his attention from your body. “I’ll tell you this: it’s my most difficult and unique case, but she’s a strong one. Her body heals faster than other people’s from cryo. I believe she’ll be fully awake tomorrow.” 

“Thank you, Dr.Cho.” Bucky felt a little bit better now that he had more hope that you could really be back. Dr.Cho gave him another smile and left to check on her other patients. 

“I have to find out if these people have families. Did Y/N have someone who might be alive?” Tony asked. 

“No, she didn’t.”

“I’ll go, and you, Barnes, will stay away from her for now, understood?” He pointed a finger into Bucky’s face. 

“Yes. I’ll just watch from here.” 

You were alive. You were awake. Bucky saw with his own eyes as your body started moving and you slowly sat on the bed, confused by your surroundings. He saw panic on your face because you were clearly disoriented and scared to be alone in an unknown place. 

As fast as he could, he found Dr. Cho, who was in the room with Steve and Natasha. When he, choking on all the emotions, told them about you, it was a mess. 

Dr. Cho and a few other nurses ran to your room to check your condition because you were the first one to open their eyes.

Bucky, Steve, and Nat stood on the other side of the window. Bucky wasn’t able to fully convince himself that it was true that he was so close to him. It felt like a dream, like a weird picture that his brain created to comfort him. 

“She’s okay, Buddy.” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder because it seemed like he didn’t even blink or breathe. “You can see her soon.”

“No.” He mumbled.

“What?” His friend’s head shot in his direction.

“Someone else should talk to her first. Tell her about my past. Maybe she won’t even want to see me after everything I’ve done.”

“I can go and talk to her first.” Natasha softly smiled. She knew the feeling when you’re afraid that someone will leave you because of your past. “I think it’s better for Y/N to first find out that she woke up in the new century and that she was cryofrozen for many years. I’ll tell her that Steve is alive, and then me and you can both tell her about Bucky.” 

Bucky just nodded to her words, still not being able to look at anything besides you. He wasn’t sure that after you find out all the truth, you’ll allow him to even be around you, so for now, he tried to memorize you as much as he could. 

Since the moment you opened your eyes, everything felt unknown and different. You couldn’t explain it, but something had changed. You didn’t know where you were, what time it was, how you ended up in that place, or who all these people were. You felt scared as too many doctors crowded your room and fussed around, talking about tests and medical procedures. 

The young woman who seemed to be in charge was actually really sweet. After only you and her were left in the room, she sat on your bed with a pile of clothes in her hands and smiled at you. 

“So, Y/N, my name is Dr. Cho, and I’m here to help you heal faster and without any consequences.” 

“Where am I?” Your voice was too raspy and harsh. It felt like you swallowed a glass of sand. 

She sighed, looking at her journal. “It’s hard to explain, but I promise that there’s nothing to worry about. You are safe. In a few minutes, someone will visit you to talk about everything and answer any of your questions. Now, I was told to give you these clothes so it would be more comfortable for you. You can change in the bathroom right there; there is also anything you might need like a toothbrush, soap, and so on.” She pointed at the door in the corner of the room. 

You stayed silent until Dr. Cho left your room, and then slowly, feeling kind of scared to move around this place, you went to the bathroom to change out of the hospital gown. 

The bathroom looked even weirder than the main room; you had never seen such furniture and interiors. And when you unfolded your new clothes, it took you a few seconds to figure it out. It was some kind of soft pants and a large t-shirt. What kind of clothes was it? Yes, they were actually comfortable, but it wasn’t something that you saw in the stores. 

While you were brushing your teeth, your brain was working too hard trying to figure out what the hell was going on, until you heard someone calling your name. 

“Hey, Y/N, my name is Natasha.” The pretty red-headed woman was standing near your bed with a tray and food in her hands. 

“Please, tell me what’s going on. Where am I? Why does everything look so strange here?” You said in a desperate voice, you almost wanted to scream because you woke up several hours ago, but no one told you a single thing.

“Don’t be nervous, honey. Let's sit on the bed; you’ll eat your special meal, and I’ll tell you everything you want.” She was so nice and genuine, so you nodded and sat down. 

Natasha placed a tray near you, and you saw that it was your favorite food of all time. You took a bite, and your taste buds were immediately filled with the taste of the meal that James cooked you almost every day. James. It was his recipe. The tears flooded your eyes when all of the memories about your dead boyfriend returned to your head. Yeah, how could you forget that it had been at least two years since he was gone? 

“Y/N? What happened?” Natasha’s worried voice distracted you. 

“It just reminded me of someone. I felt like I was home, and it hurts me because nothing is the same anymore.” You wiped your tears away, taking another bite. 

“I promise you that everything is going to be okay. You are not alone here.” You frowned at her words but still nodded. “So ask whatever you want to.” 

“Where am I, and why does everything look so different?”

“You are at the Avengers Tower, located in Manhattan, New York City. I know that might sound ridiculous, but you were in the cryostasis chamber up until now. It’s 2023, and a lot of things have changed in the world; that's why it might be confusing.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds, overthinking Natasha’s words. “It can’t be true. I can’t be more than one hundred years old now. And I look the same.” 

“This is how cryostasis works—iit freezes the body so it can survive many years without any changes. Now tell me how you ended up with Hydra. What is the last thing you remember before waking up here?” 

“Back in the 40s, I was a nurse. My– my boyfriend— he died during the war.” You stopped because of the lump in your throat. It was too hard to bring back these memories because it was the first time you said these words out loud. “He died, and then my closest friend died too, and I just had no one left. I was alone, and I didn’t even know what to live for because all of my dreams about family and a happy life with the person I loved died too.” Natasha put her hand over yours on the bed and gave you a supportive squeeze. “Then one day in our hospital, scientists were looking for people who would like to test new serums. I decided that I had nothing to lose, so me and a few other nurses signed in.” 

“Kathleen, Josh, Adam, and Frank, right?” The woman in front of you gave you a sad smile.

“Yes, how do you know that?” 

“We found them with you. Adam’s camera was broken, so he died a long time ago, but the rest of them are here too, but, unfortunately, they haven’t regained consciousness yet.” 

You nodded. Your food was now done and set aside, and you sat on the bed more comfortably, bringing your knees to your chest. “These scientists were running some tests on us in the lab that they brought us in. It felt weird, and I remember that Kathleen always complained that it was painful. The last thing that happened was that they told us to step into a weird-looking machine that was meant to be a part of some kind of experiment. That’s it.”

“It was Hydra. A terrorist organization that tried to rule the world. They were evil, and you were lucky to get out of there alive.” Natasha pursed her lips. “Thank you for telling me this.” 

You two sat in silence for a few seconds until she looked over her shoulder at the weird-looking mirror that took up almost a whole wall. 

“Is anything wrong?” You furrowed.

“I have to tell and show you something really important, but everyone is worried about how you are going to react to this.” She studied your face with a weird expression. 

“Is there anything more crazy than me being in another century after I was frozen?” You tried to smile, but Natasha just nodded. 

“I’ll be right back. Please, try to breathe, okay?” She stood from your bed, took the tray, and left. 

Natasha came back, and behind her was the last person you ever expected to see again. You jumped on your feet, feeling like your eyes were lying to you. 

“This—this can’t be true... No, Natasha—Steve, you died.” You mumbled under your breath. Your heart rate was way higher than usual, and it felt like you were drowning. You put your hand over your eyes. It’s just a dream. It’s just a weird fucking dream.

Two large hands wrapped around your body, pulling you into the hard chest. “Sh-s, Y/N, breathe, just breathe.” His familiar voice filled your ears, and you started crying harder, gripping his shirt. 

“What– how– how is this possible? You crushed the plane into ice.” You shattered, tears running down your face.

“The Super Soldier serum saved me. The S.H.I.E.L.D. found my body 12 years ago.” Steve loosened his arms around you, allowing you to look up at him. He was exactly the same. This blonde hair, these light blue eyes, and that soft smile that he always had for you. “Please, sit back on the bed. We have a lot to talk about.” His face was now more serious. Even though he was extremely happy to get back his second closest best friend, he knew that Bucky was dying without you.

Steve and Bucky both looked at your interaction with Natasha, and it was obvious that everything Bucky wanted was for you to be near him. He looked through that window without any distraction, and his face lit up with a small smile when you tasted the food that he cooked for you and became emotional. He knew that you would appreciate it.

“About what?” You wiped your face with the back of your hand and sat down, holding Steve's hand. Natasha, who was still standing in the middle of the room, passed him a thick folder and left. Steve sat near you and gave you a supportive smile. 

“Bucky.” 

You froze and snatched your hand out of his. 

“Steve, no. Please—” You wrapped your hands around your body, as if you were instantly trying to hide from the pain that was aching in your chest. “Please, don’t hurt me anymore. I can’t handle that. Talking about him w-when he’s not with me anymore.” The sods started to get out of you, and you hid your face from Steve’s soft and apologizing eyes.

“He is alive.” Steve’s hands fell on your shoulders, and he lowered his head, trying to make you look him in the eyes.

“Don’t lie to me! He is dead; I saw the reports; I got the letter from Phillips saying that he’s sorry for our loss!” You particularly yelled at your friend. 

“Y/N, listen to me, okay? Bucky is alive. He is here. Behind that door, he’s watching us right now.” You were shaking your head in denial. 

That was impossible. You knew all this story; Steve himself told you what happened that day. There was no chance for Bucky to survive the fall from that height in the middle of nowhere. Yet here was Steve, sitting right before you. His big blue and soft eyes were looking into your eyes, and you didn’t see a single sign of hesitation or lying in there. He was so genuine that you wanted to believe that your boyfriend was, in fact, a few meters away from you.

“How? And why? James– he would’ve been with me if he were alive. Why isn’t he here?” You sobbed, and then the realization came to you. “That food—the food that Natsha brought me. It tasted exactly like he made it.”

“Bucky thought that it might comfort you. He found you in that laboratory, he has been near you since that day, and he saw that you were scared and disoriented when you woke up. And that's why I am here. Bucky insisted that I should talk to you first and tell you everything. He is afraid that you might not see him anymore after finding out everything that is written here.” Steve picked up the folder and put it on your lap. 

“The Winter Soldier” was written on top of the old-looking piece of paper, and for some reason you felt something weird in your chest.

“I want to let you know that whatever is in here, it cannot make me hate him.” You mumbled, hesitating to open the folder. “What’s in there, Steve? Tell me everything.”

“These are the papers that S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra had on the Winter Soldier. Everything that happened to him: experiments, torture, assassinations, crimes. This is what happened to Bucky after the fall. This is what Hydra did to him over these years.” 

You felt a lump in your throat when you opened the first page and saw Bucky’s photo from the army. But nothing prepared you for everything you read and saw after that. He wasn’t even James or Bucky anymore. He was a Soldier. An Asset. Someone without an identity. All the detailed descriptions of the medical procedures, brainwashing, electroshock, torture, and punishments with attached photos made you want to vomit and cry hysterically. You couldn’t stop crying when your shaking hands took a picture of the love of your life sitting shirtless and unconscious on some kind of stool with wires attached to his head. 

How could someone do that? How could someone torture a person almost to death and then just write about it like it was a fucking dairy? 

“His arm, it’s metal. Why is it made from metal?” Your teary-red eyes shoot back to Steve’s face. 

“Bucky lost it during the fall. They gave him a new one, but it causes him a lot of pain. Physical and mental.”

“I don’t— Steve, I don’t understand.” You took another picture with Bucky standing in his full black costume and a mask, not a single emotion on his face. “Why did they do this? For what?” 

“Hydra wanted to have the perfect asset. Killing machine. To commit crimes, kill unwanted people, and basically rule the world.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, looking at the floor. “They made Bucky the best. They completely cleared his head from the memories of his past; they trained him to be invincible and invisible. They had a special combination of words to control him, so he would always come back and do as he was told.”

You closed the file and moved it aside, closing your face with your hands while you were crying.

“And he thinks that I can reject him?” You whispered.

“Y/N, please try to understand what such things can do to your brain. Bucky goes to therapy, but he probably would never be able to fully heal from this experience.” His hand fell on your shoulder and squeezed it slightly. “Bucky always was a good person; that's why right now he feels so much guilt that it’s unimaginable. Even if nothing of this is his fault, he can’t forgive himself for these murders and damage. He has PTSD, nightmares, and a lot of trust issues.”

“I understand, but I would’ve never rejected him. He’s everything that I had, and when I lost him, it felt like hell.” You took a deep breath, looking Steve in the eyes. “Please, let me see him. I need it, and he needs it too.” Steve’s eyes softened at you. He almost forgot the love that his two best friends had for each other. 

“Give me a minute, okay?” He smiled, kissed your head, and left your room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You were really going to see the man that you thought you had lost forever in a few seconds. It was almost three years for you, but almost eighty for him. A wave of anxiety washed over you when you thought that maybe he doesn’t feel the same anymore and doesn’t have the same feelings as you do. You almost went down a rabbit hole until the door started to open. 

You slowly stood up, feeling a little bit uneasy. Even though you and Steve were just talking about it, seeing Bucky alive felt unreal. Your eyes were sliding up and down his face to remember every little part. He looked different, more mature, with a broad chest and shoulders and long, silky hair. 

Bucky’s heart was pounding in his ears, and his mouth was completely dry while you were observing him. You had tears in your eyes, and your lower lip was trembling when you tried to hold yourself from crying out loud. You were in some baggy clothes that Nat found for you, but you still looked fucking gorgeous. Still the most beautiful girl on the whole planet. 

“Doll…” Bucky’s raspy voice filled the room, and it was everything you needed. 

In just a second, you ran to him, falling right into his body. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, and your face hidden into his neck. 

As soon as Bucky finally hugged your smaller body and felt that it was real and that you were real, he broke down. Every last piece of strength went through the window as the tears rolled down his cheeks, probably soaking your t-shirt.

He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for your forgiveness for all of the awful things that he had done. He didn’t deserve you anymore, not with this much blood on his hands. But Bucky couldn’t do what he wanted because your grip on him was so strong that he wasn’t even able to move away for an inch. 

“James…” Your quiet voice filled his ears, and it sent shivers down his spine. Only you and his ma called him that, and he missed it so fucking much.

Bucky’s hands moved from your waist a little bit lower, and you viewed it as an opportunity to get even closer. Your legs instantly wrapped around his body, and Bucky, making sure that you wouldn’t fall, went to the bed and sat down with you on his knees. 

“I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry for everything that I’ve done.” He sobbed, shaking his head. You pulled away a little bit, finally meeting Bucky face-to-face. 

“Don’t you dare apologize for the things that you weren’t able to control, James!” Your voice suddenly became rough, filled with so much anger toward the people who hurt your precious boy. His hand on your waist tightened, and you slid your own to cup Bucky’s face. “I want to kill every one of them. Everyone who hurt you, who punished you,” Soft fingertips traced the delicate skin of the templates where, as you remember from the photos, wires with electricity were placed. “You didn’t deserve to go through this, James. I wish I was there for you.” 

“You were always with me. Even when they wiped me, I still had someone in my head. A woman with a soft voice, who told me that I'm strong and that it will end soon. I would’ve died without it.” You both were looking into each other's teary eyes, both feeling too much love and desire. 

Your head slightly tilted towards his, connecting your foreheads, and for a few seconds, it felt like home. Like nothing happened and you two were just having a lazy morning in bed.

The calloused hand on the side of your face brought you back to reality. Bucky’s beautiful blue eyes were looking into yours, and, sharing one thought, you both moved closer and connected your lips. The kiss was so soft, slow, and gentle, like you had the whole time in the world. It was this type of kiss that said that you both were there and alive. It was a reminder of the love that you had for each other. Reassurance, that no matter what, you will be there.

“I missed you so fucking much, doll. Since the day I first remembered everything, all I could think about was you. Even tried to find you, but there was not a single document. I started to believe that you just found a man, changed your last name, and moved away from that mess.” You were so close to each other, not wanting to split up even for a second. Your hands were moving up and down Bucky’s hard chest while he was rubbing the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb.

“Are you joking, James? No one was able to replace you. The only people I talked to during that time were your mom and Becca.” His facial expression slightly changed at the mention of his family, and you placed a soft kiss on his stubble cheek. “I should’ve been the one who took care of them, but I was nothing without you, and Winnie almost made me move in with them. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to be a volunteer for these tests.” 

Bucky shook his head, his eyes again full of regret and pain. “I hate that it happened because of me.”

“At least I’m here right now. With you.” You smiled, sliding your hand into his dark, long locks. “You know, James, you look really good for someone who’s older than one hundred years old. I like your hair. And stubble.” His eyes rolled back at the feeling of your nails on his scalp. It had been so long since someone touched him without an intention to hurt him, and the realization of that made your heart swell with the need to take care of your boyfriend. 

“You know that you’re one year younger than me, right?” Your favorite little smirk in the whole world appeared on Bucky’s lips, and you smiled, moving a little bit closer to his body. The metal hand on your waist tightened, and you realized that you hadn't seen it in person yet. 

Your right hand reached behind you, grabbing a hard wrist that was covered in leather. Bucky’s body immediately froze under you, and his eyes snapped open. 

“Doll, no… You don’t have to...” 

“I want to. Give me your hand, James.” You said without any hesitation. Bucky looked you in the eyes for a few seconds, but then brought his metal hand between your bodies. “It’s just me, okay? I’m not scared, and I want to know everything.” You wrapped both of your hands around his hand and then gently started to take off the glove. 

The dark metal with beautiful golden stripes was shining under the bright light of the room. Your mouth slightly opened when you moved each finger with interest. Your gentle hands slid higher, rolling up the sleeve of the red henley Bucky was wearing. It was so smooth, without any sharp details, just an amazing and mind-blowing mechanism. 

“That’s so beautiful.” You mumbled in awe. Suddenly the plates under your hands moved, and a quiet whirring sound filled the room. You shot your eyes back at Bucky in shock, only to see that he was already looking at you with so much love that you almost melted. “Did you do that?” 

“It’s a new arm, not from Hydra. It reacts to my emotions. No one ever touched it without any fear.” You almost missed that last sentence, but the hurt in Bucky’s voice made you grab his face with your hands to get his whole attention.

“Listen to me, James. I’m not afraid of you. I won’t reject you. You are everything that I want. You still have the biggest and kindest heart of the guy that I met many years ago, and I’ll do everything to prove to you this.” The metal hand carefully touched your hand on the side of his face. “I love you. I love you so much, James.”

“I love you too, Doll. More than anything in this life,” Your lips crushed into each other, now sharing a more passionate and deep kiss. You slightly tilted your head, allowing Bucky to part your lips with his tongue and playfully bite you. It was almost too overwhelming, and you both were completely lost in each other until you finally needed to breathe. 

“Stay here with me, please. I don’t want you to leave.” You whined, trying to push your big and strong super soldier onto the bed. 

“I won’t leave, baby.” He chuckled, allowing you to push him back. You happily giggled and laid near him, interlacing your bodies together. 

You two were just staying in your own little bubble on your bed for what seemed like forever, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, until you finally fell asleep, feeling happy and peaceful in each other's arms.  

[delicatebarness]

safe & sound | prologue

Summary: Bucky is given his new assignment.

Warning: Mob AU. Age Gap (Bucky - late 40s/Reader - early 20s). Dad's Best Friend. Mentions of Violence/Blood/Bones. Mentions of weapons.

Word Count: 423

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A/N: I wanted to just get on with it and make a start. As always feedback is appreciated and highly encouraged :) thank you!!

Tags: Let me know if you want to be tagged.

In the city's heart, shadows danced in the alleyways and whispers carried weight, the weight of the Rogers dynasty. Steve Rogers, a man of authority, led his empire with a determination that brooked no dissent. His wife, Natasha Romanoff-Rogers stood by his side, an equal in every sense, and her presence was as chilling as a winter evening. 

Their legacy was filled with secrets, built upon the bones and blood of those who dared to oppose them—bounded by a fierce love that went beyond the chaos they masterminded. 

Then, there were the twins. Their children, you and Peter, bore the weight of your parents' legacy on your shoulders.

Peter was the elder twin, a reflection of your father’s determination. From a young age, your parents groomed him to inherit the family business. He was schooled in the art of manipulation and intimidation. 

You were the younger twin and the polar opposite of your brother. Where Peter had embraced the darkness of the family name, you sought out the light. Your innocence remained untarnished as you wandered through life with wonder and hope. 

Together, you were the heirs to the Rogers legacy, a legacy steeped in blood and betrayal.

Your paths diverged further as you grew older. Peter had immersed himself in your family’s business, an ambition driving him to climb the ranks of the underworld. One day, take over your father’s mantle.

On the other hand, you yearned for something more, something that went beyond the confines of your family’s gilded cage. 

As the Rogers legacy thrived, a whisper of a testament to the power, love, and loyalty lurked within. You and Peter stood at the edge of your destinies as a shadow of your father’s past loomed ever larger, threatening to consume the Rogers whole. 

It was in the wake of this ominous threat that your father, the patriarch of your family, made a decision that altered the course of your life forever. Concerned for your safety, he turned to his oldest friend, a man who was forged from the same steel as himself: Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. Known throughout the underground as “The Winter Soldier” but to you and Peter, he was “Uncle Bucky.” 

“Will you protect her, Buck?” Your father’s voice was grave as he asked for his friend's support, his eyes reflected a weight of the world that had settled upon his shoulders. 

Bucky’s gaze met his with a solemn node. “You don’t even have to ask, Steve.” And with their agreement, a new chapter in your life began.

---

Masterlist | Next Chapter

[huffelpuff210]

Taken Care of Part 2 Soft Dark Steve Rogers x Soft Dark Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warning: Mentions of depression, Loss of a child, Dark themes, Forced marriage, forced relationship, forced pregnancy, baby trapping, age gap, Non, Con, Manipulation, Grooming, 

After much yelling and crying at the two super soliders to leave, you are now sandwiched between them in bed, this was not uncommon especially when you had to go with them on a mission to decrypt something when Tony wasn’t available, Natasha always called them your guard dogs, 

They were both fast asleep, You were wide awake, not able to sleep, 

You can’t remember the last time you slept. Your back was pressed against Steve’s chest while Bucky’s arm is over your hip, 

You sighed slowly peeling Bucky’s arm off you, You crawl out of bed quietly, tip toeing out of the room, You just didn’t have the heart to wake the two. 

You make your way to the kitchen, passing the nursery, slowly opening the door, the room was decorated with blue walls, a white crib, a mobile with wales on it, a blue nursing chair, a gray dresser and changing table, 

You place your hand over your mouth, tears welling up your eyes closing the door before you had another shut down, you walk towards the bathroom popping a few pills, they were depression pills it was bad enough to lose your child but having post part-om depression is the worst of it, because you don’t even get to hold your child, You grip the edge of the sink feeling like you couldn’t breath, You were having a panic attack

You couldn’t breath you felt like someone was cutting off your oxygen, You slide down the wall trying to catch your breath, you felt like someone was choking you, this was always happening, 

suddenly you felt and arm around you, 

“Shh, Kitten breathe..” He says

You hear Bucky’s voice 

“Deep breaths, in and out.” He says his hand rubbing your arm, 

“You don’t have to be here.” you say, 

“of course we do.” Steve walks in, 

They pull you to your feet, 

“You are suffering and we are not just going to stand by.” Steve says 

He rubs his hands up and down your arms.

Bucky was now behind you his lips on your neck, 

You try to push them away, but they are strong, and won’t budge, 

“W-What are you-” You say your hands against Steve’s chest. 

“We’re gonna make you happy.” Bucky says 

“W-Wait we’re friends.” You say in a panic

“Yes we are, and we’re done waiting for you to realize you are perfect for us.” Steve says 

You cannot believe what they were saying, 

“You have been broken enough by losers, Let us show you what a real man is, not one who abandons you when you get knocked up, Not one who makes you lose a child because of stress, no, no, A man supports his girl.” Bucky says as his lips trail down your neck from behind, his hands firmly on your hips, Steve on the other hand has his hand roaming up the inside of your tank top, 

“A man loves her no matter what.” Steve says kissing the other side of your neck, You try not to give into them, but it almost felt as if your senses were coming to life. 

“W-Wait..” You try to speak but a moan escapes your lips as Steve’s hand twists your breast, 

Steve’s lips capture yours in a possessive kiss, it felt as if he was sucking the air out of your lungs, Your hands still on Steve’s chest suddenly fist his shirt as he kisses you harder while Bucky is still attacking your neck, 

Bucky’s hand slips inside your pajama pants and past your panties, slipping past your wet folds, 

“God she’s wet Steve.” Bucky whispers nipping at your earlobe 

Steve finally releasing you from the possessive kiss, smiles down at you, 

“You will never have to worry about pain again, or loss we will take care you doll.” Steve says as he has your chin in his grip, 

“But-” You began, 

“It wasn’t a request kitten, you are ours now, no exceptions, we have waited for far too long.” Bucky says as his fingers pump in and out of you causing you to lose whatever argument you had as your head is thrown back into Bucky’s shoulder, the pleasure coursing through you,

And you feel the wave of pleasure come crashing down on you as you Cum hard, Bucky pulls his fingers out of you bringing them to his lips, 

“Mmm, you taste better than I imagined kitten.” He says 

“I can’t wait any longer,” Steve says scooping you up in his arms taking you back to your bedroom, laying you on your bed, hovering over you, 

“Take your shirt off now.” He says in a commanding voice you look over at Bucky  who just smiles and nods at you telling you to do as you are told, 

You shakily take your tank top off revealing your black laced bra

Steve’s hand slowly roaming from your stomach to your breasts, 

“Mmm, just as beautiful as I imagined.” He says in a low voice, 

“Are you ready to please your husbands?” He asks, 

“But your not my-” You began, 

He cuts you off by placing his index finger on your lips, 

“Not yet but soon enough.” He says kissing your belly, and making his way up, 

“We’ll take care of you.” He says 

He quickly unclasps your bra throwing it on the floor, 

You try to push him away, 

“S-Stop.” You say 

Steve quickly pins your hands by each side of your head, 

“We are not going to stop, you are ours now kitten.” Bucky says you feel him pull your Pajama pants off along with your panties, The bikini cut from your C-Section now a scar, knowing they see it, 

You turn your head trying to hold your tears, 

“Don’t worry doll, you are beautiful.” Steve kisses the side of your neck before, wrapping his mouth around your breast you bite your lip trying not to egg them on, 

And suddenly you can feel Bucky between your legs, His talented tongue enter your folds, you arch your back, squeezing Steve’s laced fingers, 

“That loser never made you feel this good did he?” Steve asked his blue eyes shimmering in the moonlight, 

You didn’t understand what was happening, they never behaved like this before, Suddenly you felt two fingers enter you and you arched your back letting out a gasp, 

“That’s it kitten give in.” Bucky says 

“N-No, Stop,” You gasp

“Really? Because you body says differently.” Steve says with a chuckle, 

Suddenly you feel the pressure it was all becoming too much, between, Bucky’s tongue and fingers, and Steve’s mouth on your breast, you felt yourself losing control, you could feel yourself clamp around Bucky’s fingers, 

“That’s it Kitten, cum for us.” Bucky says and suddenly you feel yourself cum hard, you let out a loud moan, 

“Mmm, I enjoyed that kitten,” Bucky says 

smirking from between your legs, Steve still had your hands pinned beside your head you see Bucky get up and quickly undress, it wasn’t a secret that both soliders had magnificent bodies, 

Steve lets go of your hands, to undress you try to get up to make a run for it But Bucky was already restraining you, 

“No running kitten we are just getting started.” Bucky says as he has you pinned, 

“You ready?” He says 

You shake your head no you didn’t want this, Bucky grabs both of your thighs lining himself up and slowly pushing himself in, You gasp at the intrusion, He was bigger than anything you’ve had before, thicker, he kept inching himself in, until he bottomed out, You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until Steve was kneeling beside you, 

“Breathe doll.” Steve says petting your head, 

You do as he says, 

“How does she feel?” Steve asks, 

“God, Fucking amazing, she so damn tight.” Bucky grunts, 

Bucky pulls almost out completely and slams back into you causing you to let out a loud moan, arching your back at how rough he was being, 

His hands squeezing your thighs knowing you were going to have bruises, Bucky continued his rough and fast pace, grunting and groaning as he continued to slam into you, You could see Steve, Pumping himself with his hand watching the scene, You couldn’t believe this was happening they were your best friends, and now they were doing this to you, 

“God, I can’t wait to see you full with our children.” Bucky grunted, 

This caused you to freeze, Shaking your head no, 

“No, Please.” You say trying to get him off of you, but he pinned you to the bed by your throat, 

“Yes, you are perfect for us.” Steve grunts still pumping himself, 

“We will take care of you and the children,” Bucky says grunting, 

You can feel the pressure building, squeezing him tightly, 

“That’s it kitten Cum for me.” He says continuing his hard and fast brutal pace, And you feel yourself Cum hard again, arching your back as you let out a loud, Moan, 

A few hard and fast thrusts and You feel Bucky Cum inside of you, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes, He pulls out of you and you are about to get up when You are flipped on your Stomach, And Steve has you by the hips, 

“My turn.” He says his voice almost feral

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Wrong One

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Steve while he is on the run and stands by him through everything. Until he sees Peggy Carter again.

10. The Aftermath

Warnings: swearing, angst, difficult childbirth

Starting the next morning there was a barrage of romantic gifts showing up on her doorstep multiple times a day. Flowers, jewelry, candy, books by her favorite authors, knick knacks that Steve thought she would like. Constant texts checking up on her, phone calls where he sang love songs to her voicemail.

Y/N was already exhausted from her pregnancy and Steve's attentions, even though they weren't in person, just made it worse.

On top of that, the incident at the gala was all over the internet and gossip news sites and shows. Everyone was talking about Captain America's sudden reappearance and the confrontation with his very pregnant ex girlfriend and best friend.

Y/N woke up to hundreds of tags and notifications of articles, pictures and social media posts speculating on the meaning of last night's events.

Pictures of Bucky leaving her house as the sun was coming up. Putting a large bouquet of roses and a teddy bear with a Captain America shield in the house and stoically moving through the paps without saying a word. Even some pics of him jogging away.

When she tried to go for her morning walk, she opened the front door to find a mess of reporters still on her front stoop, keeping her from leaving. She could hear the sounds of cameras and was blinded by the many flashes.

Too many voices throwing questions out at her:

'Can you tell us what happened at the gala? Why did Captain America call you a whore?' 'When is your baby due?'

'Is that Steve Rogers child? If not who's the father?' 'Did you cheat on him?'

'Are you involved with The Winter Soldier?'

'Why is Bucky Barnes staying with you? Did he get into more trouble after the Flag Smashers?'

'Weren't you one of those pardoned after the snap? Do you think you deserved it?'

She felt overwhelmed and blurted out a distressed "No comment" and quickly went back into the house.

Y/N slammed and locked the front door then leaned against it and sank down to the floor, tears running down her face. She sat for a bit until she felt the baby start kicking up a storm. The movement reminded her of what was at stake. She laughed a little through the sobs and rubbed her belly.

"We're gonna be ok, little one. I don't know how we'll get there but I'll always be there for you."

Once she had calmed herself down, Y/N struggled to pick herself up from the floor, her large belly making the act impossible. She had to crawl across the floor until she reached a chair that she could use to support herself on her way up. As she was struggling to get up Bucky returned from his run.

He hurried over to her "Doll, are you alright? Why are you on the floor?"

He helped her stand up and pulled her into a hug when he saw that she had been crying. "What happened?"

Tears started forming before she could try to stop them "I was, I just I tried to go for a walk and th-th-they were all there, yelling and flashing and I couldn't-" she flinched and started panting, grabbing her belly.

She tried to curl up "Fuck!" She grabbed his arm "Bucky, it hurts" she whined.

Bucky's eyes grew wide and his heart sped up "Nonono, sshhh, you're ok doll. It's ok. Ivegotchu." He settled her on the couch and called Sam for a ride. While they waited for Sam he helped calm her down, breathing through the contractions.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes "Bucky, I'm not ready for this. Her room isn't done and I need more onesies. And, and I'm not ready to be a mom on my own."

He pulled her close and rubbed her back "I told you. I've got you. You aren't alone. If she's born tonight I'll get her room finished before you're ready to come home." He kissed the top of her head "You're gonna be a great mom. I just know it."

She nodded and calmed down enough to breathe through the contractions until Sam took them to the Tower. He waited in his office for them in case they needed a lift home.

Helen Cho was waiting and had Y/N hooked up to an assortment of monitors. As she relaxed Bucky held her hand and told Helen what had happened.

Helen shook her head "The press has been going crazy since Captain Rogers showed up at that party. They've been camped out in front but can't get into the parking garage. You might want to see about staying here in the Tower."

Y/N shook her head. "I just want to go home."

Helen pursed her lips "Well, let's keep an eye on you for the night and discuss what's next tomorrow. Remember we discussed the possibility of delivering early, especially considering how fast she has been growing. Try to get some sleep. Sargeant Barnes, you can stay in your quarters here tonight, she'll be carefully monitored."

Bucky shook his head "Not a chance, doc. I'm staying right here."

Helen shook her head "It's your back Sargeant. I'll see you in the morning"

Y/N looked over at Bucky with fear in her eyes but she tried to be brave "You don't have to stay in here all night, those chairs can't be comfortable. I'll be fine."

Bucky looked at her lovingly "Don't be silly doll. I'm not going anywhere."

She relaxed noticeably when he said that and whispered "Thank you Bucky."

He squeezed her hand "Anytime sweetheart."

She felt the butterflies but her heart clenched when she reminded herself he wasn't hers and eventually he would get tired of helping Steve's ex raise a kid that wasn't his. Even though he said he was fine with it she knew that couldn't last.

She tried to relax and get some sleep but it was a long time coming. When she finally did find sleep there were strange disjointed dreams with Steve and Bucky that she could barely remember in the morning, except for the feeling of unease they left her with.

Bucky woke early as he always did. He sat up and stretched without letting go of her hand. He sat and stared at her sleeping, in awe of her beauty. He couldn't wrap his head around Steve's actions. How could he leave this woman, she was so perfect. One of the few that didn't treat him like a monster.

As he watched he saw her stomach move and bulge he smiled, gently pushing on the spot that moved. He pushed softly and laughed a little when the baby pushed back. He spoke softly "My baby girl is an early riser like Uncle Bucky, huh?"

Y/N groaned, feeling the baby pushing on her bladder, and stretched. She felt Bucky rubbing her belly and opened her eyes. "Hey Buck, you sleep alright?" and yawned.

Bucky smiled "I'm fine, you're the one I'm worried about. How are you feeling?"

"M'alright. Contractions seem to have stopped." She looked at her belly and whispered "I really need to pee."

He chuckled "You need help getting to the bathroom?"

She shrugged "Probably." sat up and turned to the side, her feet barely touching the floor.

Bucky put his arm out for her and helped her to the bathroom.

Once she was settled back into bed he brought her some water.

They sat quietly for a little while before one of the nurses brought some breakfast. Helen showed up while she was eating.

Helen smiled as she entered the room "Good morning. How are you feeling today, Y/N?"

Y/N nodded "Much better. The contractions stopped."

Helen looked at the read outs "Your blood pressure is back down to normal, heart rate is normal and baby seems like she's good." She made some notes before sitting at the edge of the bed and looking back to Y/N.

"Everything looks fine now and you can be released. You have a couple of options. You don't need constant medical attention but the extra stress from a baby affected by the serum and Rogers erratic behavior are increasing your risks. I would recommend you stay in the tower. The sergeant has a room or there are some empty quarters we can set you up in.

You can go home but I really would feel more comfortable if you stayed close."

Y/N shook her head "I won't be able to relax in a strange room. I just want to go home. I can have Friday monitor me and contact you if there are any concerns."

She looked at Bucky pleadingly and he scratched his head "I don't know sweetheart, maybe staying here would be safer...." he trailed off, wanting her safe but not wanting to upset her any more.

He looked at Helen "I'll keep a close eye on her."

Helen shook her head "She needs to be on bed rest, no strenuous activity! And if the contractions start up again I want you to call me right away."

Bucky and Y/N promised to follow her instructions and Y/N dressed to go home.

When they arrived back at her home the press were mostly gone but the pile of gifts from Steve had grown. While Bucky helped Y/N inside, Sam cleared off the stoop, tossing Steve's gifts into a bag and shoving that bag into the coat closet for Y/N to deal with when she was up for it.

A few days passed quietly before they heard a loud knock at the front door while they ate breakfast.

Y/N, jumped at the sound and looked towards the front door with dread, who could it be this time?

Bucky went to answer the door, squeezing her shoulder, on his way to the entry, reassuring her that he's got it.

They knocked again, Bucky sighed as he reached the door. He tried to look through the peep hole but it was blocked, which made him consider leaving them out there. He decided it could be important so opened the door and was almost knocked down by Steve as he rushed in.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Rogers?" Bucky spat out.

"I'm here to check on my girls. Where is she?" He hurried to the living room where Y/N was struggling to stand up.

Her face turned to stone when she saw him. "Why are you here, Steve?"

Steve glared at Bucky "I'm here to check up on my best girls. Tell your boyfriend to back off."

Y/N scoffed "Your best girl died before the Blip. The only one here was just a sorry substitute. You're not welcome here."

Steve walked up to her and reached out for her hand, scowling when she pulled back. "Look, Y/N, I know I messed up but I'm here now and I want my family back."

She rolled her eyes "You have a really bad memory problem. You've already had your second chance and we are over. I won't be the one you settle for because I'm having your kid."

Steve tried to interrupt "I'm not settling honey, I made a mistake. Peggy was my dream, you're the reality."

She shook her head "So I'm the crappy wish version? I want to be with someone who wants me, who chooses me first not like some consolation prize." She was breathing heavily and feeling lightheaded.

Bucky moved quickly to her side to support her, murmuring supportive words into her hair. "Are you alright, love? You look a little pale."

He helped her sit back down and gave Steve a dirty look. "She is high risk because of the serum and doesn't need you coming in here stressing her out. We've already had one scare so you should just go. We'll let you know when she's born."

Steve shook his head "I won't let you push me aside when it's my fiance and my child you're trying to take away from me. You're talking like you're a couple, like it's your kid."

Y/N had it. "Enough! I am not your fucking fiance, Steve! All I am is your baby mama and that's all I will ever be to you. How many times do I have to say this?

Bucky isn't the one who deserted me without a warning. He has been here, by my side ever since he found out." She rubbed her temple "you're giving me a migraine, I'm on bed rest. Please leave you are stress-" her hand moved to her belly "owww, oh no. Bucky" she cried, panicking.

Bucky wrapped his arm around her shoulder, rubbing gently "Try to relax doll, you're ok and I- what the fuck was that"  the bottom of his pants suddenly felt wet.

She started hyperventilating "I think it's my water. My water broke." She looked at him scared.

Bucky rubbed her back "Don't worry sweetheart. I'm gonna take care of you, ok. Let's get you dressed and get your go bag. Ok?"

Y/N nodded nervously and went to her bedroom to take a fast shower and get dressed. She put her hair away from her face then threw on a pair of sweats, one of Bucky's t-shirts and a pair of slippers.

She returned to the living room carrying an overnight bag and noticed Steve was still there, looking concerned.

She pointed at him "Why are you still here, I told you to leave."

Steve shook his head "No. It sounds like you're about to have my baby so I'm coming with you."

She scoffed "Like you care. You can sit in the waiting area because I don't want you anywhere near me." Her face pinched and she growled "Fuuuck!" looking around to see Bucky on the phone.

He finished up quickly and went to take Y/N's bag and offer his arm in support, looking at her concerned "You ok honey? Remember to breathe. I spoke to Helen, we're meeting her at the Tower. I also sent a message to Pepper, she will check up on you after we get you settled."

Y/N nodded quickly and tried to remember her breathing while keeping a bruising grip on Bucky's arm. He flinched lightly and started walking towards the garage, leading her slowly.

Bucky realized Steve was still there and shouted back at him "We're going to the Tower, don't much care what you do."

Steve nodded curtly "I'll meet you there."

By the time they arrived at the Tower Y/N was crying, sweating profusely, trying to breathe between sobs "Bucky, this is too much, I can't"

He picked her up bridal style and headed up to the medbay "I know it hurts doll but you can, I know you can. Helen will help and you'll have our beautiful girl in your arms before you know it." He grimaced as she tensed during each contraction but didn't notice the blood until he set her down on the bed Helen Cho pointed towards it.

Bucky looked to Helen with wide eyes, scared for the first time in years.

Y/N felt like she was being ripped apart as the contractions increased until she barely had a chance to catch her breath in between. She had a death grip on Bucky's hand and cried in pain as Helen did an exam to see how far along she was, brow furrowed at the blood.

Helen spoke softly as she removed her gloves, calling for an anesthesiologist and faced Bucky. "I'm going to give her a spinal for the pain, her blood pressure is pretty high as well. I'm going to do an ultrasound to see where baby is because she was head up last time." She spoke softly to Y/N explaining what was happening next and assured her that the baby was not in any distress.

As Helen performed the ultrasound her face showed her concern. She kept her voice calm so as not to stress Y/N any more than necessary. "So, she's still head up so we're going to have to do a c-section. The umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck as well. She still not showing any signs of distress and I want to get her out before she does. Sargent Barnes, you need to scrub and get a surgical gown and we'll meet you in the OR."

Bucky nodded and tried to keep the fear off of his face when he spoke to Y/N "I'm gonna go get cleaned up and meet you in surgery, ok sweetheart? They're gonna hook you up with some pain meds so you'll feel better soon and we'll get your baby girl." He kissed her forehead and walked away.

After she was given the pain meds Y/N calmed down a little before she was prepped for surgery until the baby monitor started beeping. She looked at nurse "Whats that? Is something wrong? Is she ok?"

Bucky came in wearing a surgical gown/cap/shoe covers and took her hand to calm her down as Helen quickly went to work.

30 minutes later Y/N's newborn girl was placed on her chest. Bucky took a couple of pictures and teased her about her slightly stoned looking smile.

After baby girl was cleaned and weighed, and mom was all stitched up they were taken to a small room where they worked on nursing until baby latched on. Bucky was right there making sure she was comfortable, warm enough, had enough support, gave her drinks and couldn't have been more proud if he had delivered a baby himself.

Steve was in the waiting room and looked anxiously at Helen when she told him that baby and mom were in the first room if he wanted to see them. He almost ran there but stopped at the doorway. The scene in front of him broke his heart.

Y/N looking beautiful but very tired holding his daughter as she nursed while Bucky was sitting on the bed next to her, metal arm around her shoulders, talking sweetly to the baby as she gripped his finger, a look of love and awe on his face. They made a beautiful little family.

Steve couldn't stand it and left without saying a single word.

Chapter 11

[thesecretwriter]

more than just friends (part 1) - steve rogers.

pairing: Steve Rogers x female reader

warning: angst city, mean!steve rogers, hurtful words, argument between steve and reader, platonic!bucky barnes, features some of the avengers

summary: the reader and steve have a tension between them - even if they're just friends. whenever they are in the company of each other everything feels right. even at the smallest of moments. steve wants the opportunity to love someone. he wants to move on from the 'what ifs?' from his past, but why does it seem so hard? this is where the reader comes in, always there when steve needs to talk or just bask in the silence of each other’s company. she craves to feel a love she has never known. can the man she dreams about provide that for her or is she pinning after a story with no ending.

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this is a rewrite of a fic from a while back. i didn't like how it was, so here ya go, enjoy!

minors/ageless blogs dni.

Masterlists

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

“Steve, have you seen y/n?” Sam asked as Steve walked into the living room.

“No, how would I know where she is?” Steve asked confused, with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“What’s going on with you? I just asked a question.” Sam stated perplexed.

Steve was never one to be rude to his friends, regardless of his mood, he was always able to be respectable. However, his mood seemed to be on the downside today.

He ignored Sam and walked to the elevators. As he waited for the elevator, Tony appeared next to him with a small smirk.

“Top of the morning to you, Cap,” he said greeted unnecessarily loudly.  

“Tony,” he responded with a stiff nod.

“What’s the plans for today?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Steve answered straightforwardly.

“Okay good. Do you know where y/n is?” he asked, feigning curiosity.

“No. I do not,” he answered muttered.

All Tony did was nod since Steve seemed agitated, which was very rare to see.

“Alright then, I’ll leave you to it. Although if you are looking for her, I suggest looking near the compound grounds,” with nothing else left to say. Steve is left wondering why you could possibly be out there on your own.

He didn’t seem to notice the contradiction behind what Tony said, he asked where you were, but ended up answering his own question.

Steve made his way down and was thinking of asking Bucky to spar with him outside. It seemed like the weather was good, and all he wanted was to take his mind off from today. Sparing would be a good distraction.

“Hey buck, wanna spar outside? The weather seems to be working in our favor,” he asked Bucky who was seemingly playing with his pocketknife.

“Sorry Steve. Kinda busy right now. You could ask y/n though. She’s available today,” he said dismissively.

“I would’ve asked her if I wanted to.” He grunted and started to walk off.

What was wrong with everyone? They kept on mentioning y/n, he thought to himself.

Steve had a good mind of telling everyone to leave him alone, but the curiosity of got the best of him and he found himself walking toward the compound grounds.

After 2 years of exchanging glances and smiles, sharing vulnerable words and subtle touches, you were finally going to tell Steve about how you feel. Anyone with two eyes and a brain can see and sense the feelings that Steve seems to feel towards you.

So, you came clean to the team about what you wanted to do. Being the good support system they were, they helped you to set up a cute little picnic for you and Steve on the compound grounds that has a breathtaking scenery surrounding it.

The difficult part was getting an unsuspecting Steve to your location, but that seemed to work on your behalf since you see Steve heading in your direction.

“Hey,” you say nervously as he gets closer.

“Hi, what’s with the food and picnic setup?” he asked as he glanced behind you to see all the food set out.

“I decided that it was a good morning to have a little picnic, in fact I was hoping for you to join me since I have something to discuss with you,” you rambled on trying to grasp onto the right words while your hands moved around.

The night before had your tummy filled with butterflies. You even practiced what you wanted to say and how you were going to say it.  

“Alright, but I have somewhere I need to be in about an hour,” Steve replied, his tone was monotone which was rather unusual of him. He glanced down at his watch and then back up at you.

“It won’t be long,” you smiled and went over to the blanket you had spread out.

Steve sat across from you and took a plum that was within his reach.

It was quiet for a moment before you finally built up the courage to start telling him how you feel.

“You’re a very dear friend of mine and I’m happy to have you be a part of my life. God knows how many times you were there when I needed someone. We’ve shared many moments in the time we have known each other in ways no one else could. You may be Captain America to the world, but to me you’re Steve Rogers. The man who puts everyone before himself and adjusted to living in a new world. There are so many things about you to admire. The moment you and I made eye contact when we were celebrating Peter’s 18th birthday made me realize how I feel about you. Every moment I spend with you, I fall deeper,”

Your heart rate had spiked up since the moment you started talking. Your eyes never left Steve’s; he could see the emotion in your eyes as every word left your lips.

A moment of silence passed through the atmosphere around you.

Steve woke up from where he was sat and began to walk away from you, not even looking back.

It happened so fast that you only took a deep breath in after his figure faded into the distance.

You suddenly felt a drop on your hand that was settled on your lap. It was your tears. One by one, the tears began to roll down your cheeks.

Everything hit you at once and the negative thoughts started, how could you even think that he could feel the same? Steve Rogers, who had encountered so many people that did more than you could ever dream of.

But then again everyone around you were so sure that he felt the same, were they wrong? All of them?

You sat there alone and staggered with your thoughts – time moved around you and you didn’t know how long it took, but you eventually gathered the food and other items and walked toward the compound hoping to not see anyone on your way up to your room. You couldn’t bear to have them see you like this.

Once you were in your room, you collapsed on your bed and sobbed to your hearts content. Only one thought was on your mind.

His words would’ve been better than his silence.

Hours passed, and by now it was dark outside.

“Steven Grant Rogers, who gave you the audacity to act the way you did with y/n?” Bucky’s voice boomed through the empty living room as Steve arrived back at the compound after spending the whole day away and Bucky had been sitting and waiting for him.

“What now Buck? I had a rough day and would like to spend the night peacefully in my room,” Steve complained as he glared at his metal armed friend.

“Rough day? You have some nerve acting like that after what happened between you and y/n?” Bucky questioned growing annoyed.

“It’s none of your business,” Steve stiffened knowing that by now every one of the avengers knew what happened.

Upon your lack of presence the whole day, Bucky sought you out to see how the picnic had panned out, you had given him the rundown version of what happened, and to say he was disappointed and angered towards Steve would be an understatement.

“None of my business? Funny how you say that after talking to me about her the way you do. In all our years of friendship, I have never heard you speak about anyone the way you spoke about her. She finally got the courage to express how she felt and all you did was walk away?” Bucky was on the verge of throwing the nearest object at Steve.

Steve spent hours talking about what an admirable woman you are and how the smallest things you did made his heart skip a beat. Where were those words now? What changed how he felt? If anything, he should be happy that you reciprocated the way he felt towards you.

“Today is just not the day for that, and I don’t want to deal with her overexaggerating,” he said with anger.

“Where is all this even coming from? And what day could it possibly be that you would act this way-“

“It’s the damn day I first met Peggy, okay!” Steve shouted.

A silence fell upon the two super soldiers.

“The day you met her-…Steve that is the silliest thing that has ever come from you. I would understand if it were the day she died, but this? The day you met her? Peggy lived a full life with a man she loved, she had children and experienced life till the end. You have someone who is more than willing to give you the same, and you disregard her because it is the day you met Peggy?”

Bucky stared at Steve with a look of shock, the man standing before him was unrecognizable to him.

Steve remains quiet.

Yes, he did have someone who he can have a life with, but to him Peggy was it. She saw him for who he really was. Had he not gone under ice he would have been the man to give Peggy the life she deserved. At least that’s how he felt whenever his thoughts strayed to the past.

He ignores Bucky’s stare and makes his way to your room. In his mind, his best friend would not have spoken to him like that if you did not open your mouth to them. This is all your fault, or at least in his eyes it was.

Once in front of your door, he angrily knocked on it, waiting for you to open the door.

“It is 9 freaking pm, whoever is behind this door better have a good reason to be knocking on it,” he heard you mutter.

“Oh, I have a very good reason,” he grits as you open the door and stand looking at him astounded.

“Wha-… Steve, where were you? I haven’t seen you since the morning,” you inquire, completely forgetting about how he made you feel and concentrating on whether he was okay from the way he looked so angered.

“Where I go and what I do is none of your business, but since you can’t seem to keep your mouth shut. I was at Peggy’s grave the entire day,” you stared at him with your mouth agape, he had never spoken to you with such a venomous tone.

“… and if you would’ve kept your mouth shut, then I wouldn’t have my best friend blowing up in my face and arguing with me the minute I step in. Can you ever keep things to yourself?” he asked annoyed.

By now you had processed every word you said.

“Steve, I would never say anything to cause an argument between you and Bucky. Whatever happened this morning did hurt me, I confessed my feelings to you, and you just left. But Bucky and the rest of the team were the ones to convince me to even talk to you about it. Had I known what day it was I would’ve never done anything,” you kept your tone calm and collected. Although Steve had never spoken to you like this, you would never hold this against him.

Today was a meaningful day for him, and like you said, had you known what day it was you would have never even planned the picnic.

“Is that so? Because if I recall you were the one to orchestrate the whole plan. Sure, the others may have pushed me in your direction, but you played the bigger part in it,” he said recalling how everyone basically made him find you this morning.

“I’m going to ignore every word you say because I know you’re only saying it out of anger. You can speak to me when you have calmed down and collected your thoughts, because clearly this is not the Steve that I know talking,” you said this looking him straight in the eyes and meaning every word that left your lips.

It is unfortunate to say, but there were many times where you fell victim to being the target of many people’s anger. Although you knew they would never say these words in the right state of mind, it still hurt to endure hearing them from people you care about, and right now hearing it from the man you love was slowly tearing your heart apart.

“You think you know me so well. Sure, I come to you when I need someone but that is only because you were just there, always waiting. Doing nothing else but waiting. You think I want to come to you? The only reason I even make my way to you is because Peggy is not here. If she were here, you wouldn’t even be an option,”

Each word to you was a knife to the heart and a pinch at your soul.

Tears made their way down your face, your knees felt weak, with your heart beating too fast. His words had struck a nerve, and to you, they may have held some form of honesty in them.

“You don’t think I know that? I stay at your side knowing that I will never be good enough. That I will never be her, yet I still stayed when you needed me, just hoping that somewhere in that heart of yours you would find a way to love me... No more now, no more will I put your feelings before mine. I stand by what I said before, but your words hurt too much to ignore. Goodnight Captain,”

With that being said you close the door and lock it, falling to the floor and bringing your knees to your chest.

You heart was officially done.

[sunvmars]

⋆ ˚｡⋆˚✧･ﾟ✧･ 1k celebration!･✧･˚✧˚⋆｡˚ ⋆

*navigation/directory | request box | taglist | masterlist | latest fic

⤷ thank you SO much for 1k followers, i love you all my babies :,) i've had this blog since i was 14 and was flabbergasted when i reached 200, but ONE THOUSAND OF YOU?? i'm so happy i could kiss all of you (and i might). i appreciate all of you who have shown me any support over the last 5 years, sooo it only felt right to give y'all what you want after my half a year hiatus (i apologize, i still love y'all) -junebug

⤷ so this is the run down ⁀➷

― for the next two/three weeks, i plan to publish two x reader fics a week OR a fic a week plus an additional on the weekends

― i'll give brief descriptions of each fic i've got lined up under code names, and they will be published over the course of the next two or three weeks

― all of the fics will be written and published!! your only job is to pick your favorite of the line up, and results will determine which order i write and post them

― the most popular two will be choose your ending (smut, fluff, and or angst)!! sooo, here's your options:

bucky barnes ‣ sunshine: no matter how sweet you are, something about you has always irked bucky. so he avoids you, but he's forced to confront his confusing feelings when its your life on the line. steve rogers + bucky barnes ‣ cabin: bucky and steve both adore you, so they agree that whoever makes the first move gets you. but when you, steve, and bucky are trapped in a safe house post-mission due to a heavy snow storm, you get to the bottom of their 'plan,' and discover that maybe three isn't really a crowd. ‣ botanical: you've been with steve for a few weeks, and with things getting serious, he invites you to dinner with the team. you hang around more often after that, but the one problem is that steve's best friend, bucky, avoids you but praises you to steve. steve rogers ‣ astronomy: you've been pining after steve for a year. after a party, the two of you hook up and lead a fwb relationship for weeks. he slowly stops coming around, and when you go to confess that you want more, you discover he found more in someone else. ‣ clouded: after tony's funeral and steve's reluctant return, you move out of state for fresh air. you and steve disagreed a lot despite his lasting crush on you, and you leaving only further strained your friendship. so, when you return for a month to stay with sam, bucky, and steve, tension gets high as steve sees you date around. ‣ messenger: with your past relationship trouble and steve's ability to fluster easily, you and steve's fairly new relationship is struggling with intimacy. don't worry, though, nat sniffed it out like a hound and plans to fix it with lacy images sent from you after some pleading. steve rogers + lloyd hansen ‣ thread: on the run after a mission gone horribly wrong, you and steve stumble across lloyd and manage to save him from six. much to steve's dismay, you invite him to hide out with the two of you, and somehow lloyd weaseled his way into your heart and your relationship. lloyd hansen ‣ thunder: you are lloyd's woman through and through; you take care of him and he provides for you, you nurture him so he pampers you. you're the only one who's ever understood him, and you're the only one he's ever been ever tolerate. he adores you, you're practically his prized possession, but he does not love you.

well, go ahead, choose your fav! ⁀➷

again, thank you to all of you! i love you guys <3

a few of my fav supporters/moots:

@pigeonmama @rogersbarber @buckysprettybaby @mrsevans90 @starksbabie <3

[writing-by-night]

Seven Days to Christmas Countdown: Day 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Prompt: Stucky - Steve and Bucky get ready for the holidays in their new apartment

Word Count - 1.2k

Contains smut — Minors do not interact

It’s snowing when Bucky arrives home from the tower. It’s been a long time coming, a proper home with Steve. Finally they’ve fought their battles and earned rest, now tucked away in a cozy Brooklyn apartment paid for easily by their more than generous pensions

He can’t remember the first time they had a proper Christmas. After they came to the Avengers and Steve was adjusted and his mind was his own again, they were working too much.

Then Steve had confessed feelings Bucky had spent decades terrified weren’t reciprocated, and they’d started dating

Then Steve had returned the stones and Bucky had found them a little apartment near where they grew up

—

Now, when Bucky steps through the door, he can hear big band Christmas carols from the old record player Steve got up and running and smell something sweet in the oven

“Honey! I’m home!” The words are teasing but sweet as he kicks his boots off and leaves them neatly by the door, scooping up Alpine as she comes running to him, then carries her to the kitchen where he’s used as a step stool so she can climb on top of the fridge, watching over her domain

Steve, there he is. He’s standing over the stove in a soft sweatshirt and jeans, humming and cooking. Bucky can’t help himself from wrapping his arms around him from behind, kissing his boyfriend’s jaw. “Missed you,” he mumbles, breathing in the comforting scent

“Missed you too, Buck,” Steve smiles quietly, turning and hugging Bucky tightly. Just a bit taller these days — that’s taking some getting used to.

“What’cha making?” He leans over the stove, sniffing the pot.

“Ma’s stew, and Christmas cookies,” comes the answer

“Mmmm, I’m gonna eat all of them.”

Steve chuckles fondly, kissing Bucky’s hair. “I made plenty love”

“You always do,” Bucky hums back, leaning in close. “By the way… what would you say about decorating for Christmas?”

Steve lights up subtly, smiling and cupping Bucky’s cheek in the way that always speeds up his heart. “I’d love to. We can go get a tree tomorrow?”

“Sounds good… I think Nat left some extra stuff from the tower here, too”

“She did?” Steve looks up in surprise

“Yeah, when she helped us move. She’s sneaky like that”

“Yeah, she is.”

—

The next morning, Bucky wakes up to Steve’s arms wrapped firmly around him and snow falling idyllically outside the window. When he rolls over, his face ends up tucked into his boyfriend’s neck, pleasantly able to wait for Steve to wake up while he enjoys being held.

It doesn’t take too long for Steve to wake up, he’s always risen early when he’s healthy.

“Morning love,” Steve mumbles sleepily as he blinks awake, pulling Bucky a little closer.

“Morning Stevie,” comes the reply with a happy hum. “Tree?”

“Yeah…” he yawns, cuddling closer. “Why don’t we grab food on the way and beat the rush?”

“Sounds good.”

That part isn’t too hard — a few hours later they’ve got the tree up, and Bucky’s put the lights on while Steve drags out the ornaments they’ve picked up on various trips and missions. Despite the fact they’ve never decorated for the holidays in this century, they’ve got a solid collection, along with some simpler ornaments Bucky picked up at the store.

—

By nightfall, they’re curled on the couch and watching their tree sparkle.

“I love it,” Bucky murmurs softly, gazing up at the tree before his eyes shift to his boyfriend. “It looks so nice… it’s like old times.”

Steve hums in agreement, kissing his cheek. “But better,” he answers simply. “Because now we can love each other.”

“True,” he hums, memories floating up of late nights and hidden feelings they’d spent decades with before now. People might not always support them, but now they could even get married someday… “Hey Stevie?”

“Yes?”

Bucky paused quietly, playing with Steve’s hand. “What would you say… about getting married someday?”

Steve paused, sucking in his breath. Squeezing Bucky a little closer. “I’d love that, doll.”

“You… you would?”

“Yes, of course I would… nothing would make me happier.”

Bucky slipped his hand up into Steve’s hair and pulling his partner down for a kiss, trying to get his feelings across.

It seemed to work, and Steve shifted to cuddle him close, then leaving kisses down his neck.

“S-Stevie…”

Steve looked up with those gorgeous, concerned eyes. “Yes, love?

“Keep kissing me”

That makes him chuckle a little before returning, shifting the collar of Bucky’s tshirt — well, Steve’s shirt that Bucky “borrowed” — to leave kisses a little lower, mixed with marks that will fade all too quickly as Bucky whines.

“More… need more.”

“You want all of it?”

“I want all of you,” Bucky answers, head falling back as he fumbles with the hem of Steve’s shirt. “I need it”

Within seconds, Bucky’s shirt has been pulled over his head, and Steve is leaving hungry but somehow still tender kisses down his abs, lips lingering as he practically worships every inch of his partner. A belt comes undone and boxers and pants fall away, discarded somewhere with his shirt as Steve moans at the sigh.

“Fuck…”

“Too much?” Bucky winks, gasping the words with a teasing tone as Steve’s hand wraps around him.

“No. Never.” Steve’s mouth is on him then, and Bucky is groaning in pleasure and knotting a hand in Steve’s hair as he sinks down, until he has every bit of him in his mouth and he’s bobbing his head while Bucky makes desperate, needy sounds, back arching off the couch. Steve is mumbling something affectionate as best he can, and the sound, the sight… it’s driving Bucky mad.

“Fuck- fuck Stevie I’m not gonna last, fuck-” curses fall from his lips faster than he can track them. “A-ah!”

He’s coming in Steve’s mouth suddenly with Steve’s hands gripping his hips, gasping for air as he watches Steve pull off, swallowing every bit. Damn punk, he’s putting on a show and he knows it.

Steve’s kissing him and he’s kissing back, pulling him closer as he tastes himself on his boyfriend’s tongue, moaning again at it.

“Do you want- should I?” He’s reaching for Steve’s belt when his boyfriend shakes his head, blushing red.

“I, um…”

Bucky realizes, laughing softly, “you totally didn’t even touch yourself.

“Hey!” Steve blushes even redder somehow, which probably shouldn’t be possible, but hey. It’s cute.

“Okay, definitely didn’t.” He loves that they can still laugh and joke like this. He loves how they fit together, how they’re making their own home.

“Maybe I didn’t…” Steve mumbles against his neck, pulling a blanket up over Bucky and taking off his shirt.

Bucky hums happily at the skin to skin contact. He’s always been clingy, and since he got his mind back the close contact has always been comforting. He almost likes the afterglow more than the sex itself these days, the way he feels close to Steve as they lay together and cuddle.

“Maybe you didn’t,” he agrees softly as he cradles Steve close. “Maybe you didn’t”