#bucks being a little dramatic which. par for the course lol

[dangerpronebuddie]

Fuck It Friday!!

Tagged by @spotsandsocks @inell @lonelychicago who all shared absolutely WONDERFUL stuff y'all should show some love!! 🩷💚

I'm trying not to spoil the rest of the wips I have planned for this month, so I'm sharing this little bit I just wrote for the time loop fic! Buck is confused (and for about two months trying to write this, so was I 😅😭)

Buck wrenches himself away. Eddie blinks his eyes open as he pants for breath. He looks up at Buck, his swollen lips parted. He tilts his head as his brows twitch into a frown. Buck's heart falls to the gravel beneath them, weighed down by guilt. He shakes his head. “I'm- I'm sorry. I… I- I didn't mean to…” The frown deepens. “You didn't mean to…” Eddie trails off. “I just needed…” Needed what? Needed to know if he actually understood himself? Needed to know they weren't chasing the same thing? That they were? It was supposed to give him clarity. It's done anything but. His head is a mess, and none of it has to do with the alcohol. “Just needed… what?” Eddie asks. He doesn't sound accusatory, or even remotely mad. It makes the guilt heavier, threatening to bring Buck to his knees. Buck shakes his head. “I didn't mean to do that, Eddie. You're not…” Something crosses over Eddie's face, but it's gone before Buck can decipher it. “Not what?” Eddie asks, his voice barely a whisper. And Buck doesn't know. Not what? Not who he wants? Not capable of being who he wants? Buck takes another step back, and watches as Eddie does the same, staggering back against the rough brick that had scraped Buck’s knuckles when he… “I'm sorry,” he whispers before dashing for his Jeep, ignoring Eddie calling after him.

(Super late today, but I'm still gonna tag some lovelies below the cut. As always please let me know if you want to be added/ removed):

@lover-of-mine @tizniz @loveyouanyway @daffi-990 @kitteneddiediaz

@ronordmann @steadfastsaturnsrings @inell @exhuastedpigeon @hippolotamus

@thekristen999 @monsterrae1 @diazheartsbuckley @wildlife4life @misshiss727 @rainbow-nerdss @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove

@spotsandsocks @tidesreach @disasterbuck @lonelychicago @epicbuddieficrecs

@lunarspark-cos @idealuk @slowlyfoggydestiny @mourningeddiesfagstache @playinginthunderstorms

@lin27 @jshadow01 @orangeboxfox92 @thegeekcompanion @emilybahu @lemotmo @awolfnamed-nyx @maraskywalkers

@kaseysgirl86-blog @darkrose6578 @totallynotagoraphobic @dandelioncasey @bibuckbuckgoose @whatsgoodinthehood22

@lady-elaine @buckley-diaz-rules @buddiedaydreamer911 @monroemary @pirate-hunter @snowviolettwhite @hermoineindisguise

@nonspeakingkiku @eddiedisasterdiaz @drunkandsupportiveeddie @gnoeltop @keynb @cassi-brooks @-syrup-sue @punkrock00 @shannonhutchins @aroqueerfandoms @unlifeira @marissaleec @kissyboytroye

@lyricfulloflight @charlzie-ghost @hypersensitivitywitch @kindlingtotheflames @wallywise @zerokrox-blog @hawaiianlove808 @retromodgirl @allygateobeanz @savlikesbluengreen

[yodawgiherd]

First kiss

Rating : T

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Mikasa's side of the story.

“I mean, it doesn’t concern me. Like, at all so…”, inspecting her black-painted nails, Mikasa shrugged, “I don’t’ really see that as a problem.”

The creaking of the bed behind her suggested that Sasha turned or twisted there, shifting her position. After that, the tell-tale sound of her taking a long drag from the joint followed, with the smoky exhale in tow.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t give a shit about guys, I’m not looking for a boyfriend or anything.”, honestly, just the thought of it made Mikasa a bit sick, “Fuck that shit.”

“You do sound rather hostile towards that idea. Bad experience?”

More like no experience at all, but that was totally beside the point.

“The indirect ones.”

Sasha tried answering that, but inhaled some smoke and began coughing, only managing to motion for Mikasa to elaborate.

“Isn’t it obvious? What is a relationship anyway, all it gives you is someone to take stupid selfies with and slam the dog filter right on top.”, pitching her voice an octave higher in order to rightly imitate the type of girls she despised, Mikasa took it straight from the top, “Me and my muffin on our way to ‘bucks to get our caffeine fix. Aren’t we just the cutest? Lol.”

Her friend's coughing fit was replaced with a giggling one, but with a considerable effort, Sasha did reply this time.

“Aw, but you would be so popular with the guys! You are exactly the goth gf everyone is looking for.”

“Really? Isn’t she supposed to have like,”, Mikasa gestured towards her modest chest, “big tits?”

“Eh, those are secondary.”, Sasha waved her hand dismissively., “You got the goth part down, that’s the most important one.”

“Since when are you an expert on people’s tastes?”

“Well unlike you, I have actually been in a few relationships. Which automatically puts me over you in this department.”

That was a sound argument, so Mikasa settled with sticking her tongue out in response, getting another chuckle from her best friend.

“For real though,”, Sasha pressed on, rolling on her stomach in a weirdly seal-like move, “Relationship is more than just Starbucks trips, and shopping together, it’s also…”

“And making out in school, which makes the decent people there want to throw up.”, the goth chimed in.

“Right, that too. But as I was saying…”

“And having all those obnoxiously loud phone calls, calling each other honey, or babe, or kitten…”, pet names, those were really the worst. There was no way, not even the tiniest possibility that Mikasa would let anyone ever call her a kitten. The person who would try that would very quickly find that one of his bones just got magically broken.

“Yo Miks, are you going to let me finish or are you planning on keeping your “I hate couples and here’s why” charade going?”

Feeling like that her point has been made, Mikasa put an imaginary lock on her lips, pocketing the key.

“Finally. Now, back to my original point. A partner is great for other things than the annoying stuff you named, they are here when you need someone to talk to or lean on, they support you and…”

“Don’t I have you for that?”

“Well, yes, but there are some things that you’d probably share with a boyfriend that you won’t share with me.”

Mikasa shrugged.

“Like what?”

“You know, Intimate stuff, pillow talk…?”

“I tell you about everything Sash, you’re my best friend.”

The brown-haired girl sighed, taking another pull from the joint.

“Fine. What about physical stuff then? Don’t you want those?”

Even with the overall lack of reaction from her, Sasha didn’t miss the way Mikasa blushed, just a tiny bit. It was painfully obvious on her pale skin.

“Like kissing?”

“Yea. Kissing and … other things.”

If Mikasa was a bit embarrassed before, she was literally turning into a tomato right now, judging from the color on her face, and seemed really interested in picking at the carpet underneath her.

“Sasha, can I ask you something?”

The blunt kept getting short and shorter, much to the disappointment of the one smoking it, and if things kept going at the tempo they were progressing right now, Sasha would soon be burning her own fingers. Distracted by wondering how that feels, she didn’t respond to Mikasa’s question right away, only remembering herself when the other girl poked her to get her attention back.

“What? Oh, right. Shoot.”

“Is… you know… the thing better than when you do it yourself?”

Partially stoned at this point, Sasha didn’t understand the question until Mikasa sighed and mimicked the movement of putting her hand between her legs.

“Ah I get it!”, she snapped her fingers victoriously, “You want to know if sex is better than just fingering yourself!”

Honestly, if someone ever needed proof that weed can negatively impact lives, just point them to Sasha. Not only did she get like three times dumber, but her sense of decency also completely flew out of the window.

“Yes,”, Mikasa was basically speaking to the carpet right now, because facing Sasha’s full-on grin was not something that she was capable of right now. “That was exactly what I meant.”

“Well, it really depends on the guy you are with.”, after a bit of thought, Sasha leaned forward, giggling, and poked Mikasa’s shoulder, “Or girl.”

She just groaned.

“I’m serious though, guys at this age are mostly the kind that gets their fun and looks to make a quick exit. Nut and go. Shoot and scoot. Ejaculate and evacuate. Hit it then..”

“Okay! I get it!”

Out of things that Mikasa needed to hear right now, Sasha’s witty combinations were quite low at the list.

“I’m just saying, sex can be pretty disappointing if you don’t do it right. Like most of the things I did was usually worse or on-par with me taking care of myself.”

“Your experience? Damn Sasha, how many guys did you bang?”

It wouldn’t be fair to say that her friend was slutty, but Sasha did like having a social life. Then again, anyone compared to Mikasa had a social life, so her opinion might be a bit warped.

“Six? I think….”, once again retreating to her seal movements, Sasha rolled again, this time on her back, watching the ceiling, “Actually no, five, the last one fell asleep, so I left him there.”

“And how many of them were good?”

“One.”

That gave Mikasa a pause.

“One? Out of five?”

“I told you, guys usually suck at it. Two were terrible, two were decent and then the last one… Hmm.. the last one…”, lost both in her memories and the pattern on the ceiling, which looked so interesting with a little bit of cannabis in you, Sasha trailed off.

To her credit, Mikasa waited for about a minute before realizing what happened and poked her friend back to reality. Again.

“What was I saying? Oh right, the last one. It was an older guy, like mid-twenties, but he was really funny, and good looking too, so I decided to give it a shot.”, a large grin spread on her face, “And it was amazing, he really knew what he was doing.”

“Are you still seeing him?”

“Nah, it was a one-night thing, but I knew that going in, so I wasn’t disappointed. Got some great memories out of it.”

Not really knowing how to answer that, Mikasa just hummed, focusing back on the carpet. The threads were really complicated, now that she got a closer look.

“How about you?”, Sasha cut into her fun, “Any good memories?”

“Tsk, you know that I didn’t sleep with anyone.”

“I know that your v-card is still intact, but what about something else. Got anyone who’s a good kisser? Or gave you a hand?”, another giggle escaped the stoned girl, “If you know what I mean.”

“No, nothing like that. I mean.. I didn’t… I never.. Ugh.”

Sasha could really be obnoxious from time to time. And slow. But even in her current state, she managed to put one and one together, rolling on her front again and staring at her friend, down at the ground.

“Wait a minute, you never even kissed a guy? Seriously?”

“You know what Sash, I’m going to go and…”

“Wait nonono…”

As Mikasa tried standing up, in order to make a dramatic exit, Sasha all but lunged on her, pushing her back down with all her weight. If she really wanted to, the Asian could of course easily overpower her friend, but that was never really her intention in the first place, so with a groan, she surrendered, falling back down on the ground.

“Hey, you now I don’t mean it in a bad way, I’m just surprised that you never hooked anyone.”

“Why would you be surprised?”

“Well, you know, with all the guns at your disposal…”, Sasha gestured in the general direction of Mikasa’s body, indicating that the whole package was very much worth the purchase. “Just doesn’t make sense.”

What Sasha didn’t know was the fact that while Mikasa had multiple offers over the years, she turned them all down. Most of the time, a firm “No.” was more than enough, and on the few occasions when the interest persisted the unfortunate individuals were met with her famous ice glare and backed off soon after. Of course, there was also the one time when the guy tried touching her outright, after her refusal to go out with him, and she broke his hand in retaliation.

“Just doesn’t make sense…”, Sasha repeated, her gaze not moving from Mikasa’s face as a new idea seemed to sprout into life behind her eyes, which got somehow hungry. Honestly, the long look was starting to become a little uncomfortable.

“What?”

“Listen Miks…”, sliding down from the bed, Sasha sat down in front of her friend, “I have an offer for you.”

The intensity in her eyes took Mikasa by surprise if she was being honest, so she just nodded at Sasha, hoping that she will continue. So, her friend took a deep breath, licked her lips anxiously, and extended her hand, pushing a strand of midnight hair out of Mikasa’s pale face.

“Do you want to kiss me?”

All right, that was surprising.

“Kiss you? But aren’t we both like… straight?”

“So is spaghetti until it’s wet.”

“Ehm…”

“Hey, I’m not saying that you should hand your virginity over to me, but why don’t we do this, it’s just a kiss, right? Could be fun!”

“Why are you so eager to kiss me all of a sudden?”

“Because I never kissed a girl before, and you… well, never kissed anyone before. You can think of it as an exchange of firsts.”, Sasha’s eyes traveled up and down her body, returning back to Mikasa’s face, “Plus you are incredibly hot, not going to lie.”

And the more Mikasa looked at her, the dilated pupils, the slightly opened lips, the long brown hair hanging wildly around her face, the less crazy her plan sounded. This didn’t feel like all those offers she got before, it was different, better, and damn it all, but Mikasa found herself curious. So what that her first kiss would be with a girl, who cares? It was Sasha, her best friend, and the one person she trusted to keep this little thing a secret. With a feeling that resembled jumping off a cliff a little bit, she nodded, watching the grin spread on Sasha’s face.

“Let’s do this then.”

Getting a firmer hold on the goth’s head, Sasha leaned forward, slowly, most likely giving Mikasa the time to reconsider if she felt like it, but she was sure about this, despite the heart fluttering in her chest. Not sure if she should close her eyes or not, she let them open, watching as the last centimeters of distance ceased to exist between them, and suddenly, Sasha was kissing her. It was tender and soft, and nothing past a simple push of lips on lips, as her friend was aware of Mikasa’s lack of experience and felt no need of pushing her boundaries. And when she pulled back, Mikasa was herself surprised to acknowledge that the whole thing actually felt rather nice.  

“That’s it then?”, she asked, still feeling a bit high from the kiss.

“Well, no, not really, it’s usually much deeper than this. But I just wanted to give you the basic one, to see how you feel about it.”

Gathering her courage, Mikasa straightened her back, returning Sasha’s questioning gaze with her own, resolute one.

“Show me.”

This time, Mikasa did close her eyes and was soon greeted by the same feeling of warmth of Sasha’s lips against her own, pushing insistently. She moved her jaw a bit, trying to get Mikasa to follow her lead, but it wasn’t working.

“Relax your jaw Miks.”, Sasha whispered against her mouth, “I’m not fighting you, I’m kissing you, dummy. Follow my lead.”

Mikasa was half tempted to end the kiss just to say that if they fought, Sasha would go down in two seconds tops, but decided against it. Following her friend’s advice instead, she unclenched her muscles, letting Sasha pry her mouth open and angle her head the way she wanted, the kiss growing deeper like that, maybe even a little hungry, and definitely feeling better than just the chaste first one. After what felt like an hour, with Mikasa learning something new every second, Sasha pulled back with a satisfied smirk, wiping the traces of black lipstick the goth left behind on her face.

“So? How was that for a first one?”

“I..”, Mikasa licked her lips, the taste still lingering, “It was okay I guess. But definitely not something worth the trouble of getting a boyfriend. How about you?”

“It’s all right, but I still prefer a guy I think.”

“Mouth is the same on a man or woman, isn’t it?.”

Sasha just grinned, shaking her head.

“You’ll know what I’m talking about when you get one.”

Just the thought alone made Mikasa snort.

“Right, like that is ever going to happen.”

“Miks, you deserve a nice, very good-looking guy who’s going to treat you right, who you can get better at kissing with, because you kind of suck right now, and who’s going to help you discover all the sexy secrets of your amazing body, and then keep you up all night, giving you the most mind-blowing orgasms imaginable. And when, not if, when that happens, I hope that you will remember us having this conversation, and you will laugh at how close-minded you were.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Sasha, but I doubt that it will ever happen.”

“You’ll see. Now, want to help me get through this second blunt or what?”

Having no idea where Sasha even got the second roll from, because it appeared as if by magic, Mikasa couldn’t help but smile as she helped her friend light it, taking a long pull herself after. If nothing, she’s not going to go to college as a kissless virgin. Just a virgin. Eh, better than nothing.

Eren was silent after she finished her part, just slowly taking the information in.

“Damn….”, he finally said, “Didn’t see that one coming.”

“Yup, you weren’t my first kiss, Sasha beat you to it.”

“I should have known that there’s something more between you two.”, he shook his head, grinning, “Homegirl has more tricks up her sleeve than I imagined.”

“I shared my story,”, Mikasa pointed out, “Now it’s time for yours.”

He nodded.

“That’s fair. My turn then.”