#buck is my babydaddy get your own

[peggingeddiediaz]

911 text posts pt 9

[winter-soldier-vibes]

hey, i love your writing :) if your requests are open can u pls do another bucky x anorexic reader where she’s becomes distant with him and doesn’t allow him to touch her and then one day they’re in bed and he pulls her close to his chest and realizes how thin she is under her baggy sweatshirt, if u don’t chose to do it or can’t I totally understand, if u do can u pls end it with hurt comfort fluff the way u ended ur other eating disorder ones? I love the way u write and I appreciate ur accurate portrayal. Sometimes I just feel kinda numb and ur fics help ground me in a way. Thank you so so much 🥺❤️

A/N: Hey there, Thanks for the kind words!! I’m going to change it the tiniest bit if that’s alright to reach more people. I hope that you’re okay and I’m glad that my fics help you but if it ever gets to be too much my dm’s are open <3. Thank you for the request!

Maybe One day

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 2579

Warnings: eating disorder (anorexia restricting subtype mainly), talk of weight loss (not necessarily being underweight), negative self talk, angst, comfort, fluff, anxiety, tears

A/N 2: I did write that the reader experiences weight loss but that’s not always how eating disorders present physically. Just know that even if you didn’t lose weight or if you gained weight you are in no way invalid in your journey. The alternating italics and bold prints at certain parts represent how there can be an ‘eating disorder’ voice and your ‘real’ thoughts.

tags: @babydaddy-buckybarnes @buckys2thicc @thatfangirl42 @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing @strawberrimae @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @abitgryffindorky

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Step on the scale. 

Step off the scale.

On

Off

Eat an apple

Back on

Off

Look in the mirror.

Do you like what you see?

No…

Every day was the same. You woke up and weighed yourself and that number determined what you would allow yourself to eat. How much you would exercise. What things you would call yourself.

The number on the scale and your reflection in the mirror determined the way you felt about yourself that day. Determined the things you felt you could or couldn’t do. 

It was all a numbers game. You hated math and maybe this was why. Calories in, calories out. Burn off more than you eat. If you eat over your m[limit today, you had to restrict even more the next day.

If you ate at all. 

It was a routine that you hated so much. You were tired, you were weak, but you couldn’t for the love of god stop. 

You never really liked your body. But then again, who does? There was all this body [positivity going around and while you supported it and you thought everyone you saw was truly beautiful in their own way, you couldn’t say the same for yourself. Everyone was just more of what you wanted to be, so it seemed. Tony was smarter, Bucky and Steve were stronger, Nat and Wanda were both prettier and better at fighting. 

Then there was you.

You just wanted to be better than you were. You thought that working out more and losing weight would help you. Some form of control or discipline. You could control what you ate and what you did in the gym. Doing that would give consistent results if you stayed consistent. And while those first few weeks you felt a swell of pride when you lost those first few pounds, you quickly plateaued. The same way everyone does when losing weight. 

You were stronger but suddenly that wasn’t your main goal. You don’t know when your diet to become stronger became a desire to be smaller, but here you were. You started eating less and less and you don’t know when not eating changed from being difficult to being completely normal. When hunger pains stopped being painful. 

When eating became something that felt less natural than not. 

But it did. You didn’t like what you saw in the mirror so you started to hide yourself more. Baggy clothes to hide your body from others and from yourself. Hiding under blankets, behind pillows - there were many times when you wanted to punch out your mirror. 

But you didn’t. Because then you’d have to explain to Tony why he had to pay for a new mirror. And you weren’t ready to do that yet.

Sure, the team had noticed some sort of change, but you were pretty good at hiding your tricks. Slight of hand at the table, cutting food up and moving it around, hiding it in napkins or pockets, bringing it to your mouth but never quite swallowing was enough for most of them.

Most of them.

You and Bucky had been dating for a while now, and with him being both closer to you and observant, he noticed a few things were off with you. You asked to borrow more of his sweatshirts - because they were bigger on you, not that he knew - and he didn’t mind. But he slept next to you and you woke up more and more tired every day. The biggest thing was how you had grown more distant. You had always been someone who found comfort in physical affection, as was he. But as the weeks turned to months, you went from falling asleep in his arms and asking for hugs to never allowing him to touch you.

He had no idea what had happened, but it worried him.

You were just worried he would see you the way you saw yourself. Too big, too fat, too loud, too ugly - all the horrible things you would tell yourself that weren’t true. You just wanted to be smaller, prettier - everything the media told you you should be. Sometimes you would lie awake on your side wondering where everything had gone wrong. 

This was all about getting stronger and having more control. So why did you feel more out of control than you’d ever felt before?

Bucky would ask you about it but you would deflect it. Change the subject. If he would ask about you, you would answer asking about him. Beat around the bush, act oblivious. You knew exactly what was wrong and that he was getting extremely close to forcing you to tell him. Your solution? Isolate yourself and push him away more. 

Foolproof.

Right?

You were lying to yourself. You weren’t okay, you were tired. Exhausted. You didn’t want to keep doing this - eating the same thing everyday, exercising even when you were sick. The same game of checks and balances and telling yourself that one day you would stop. That one day you would feel okay with your body and you just had to keep pushing. 

One day it would get better. You told yourself that everyday.

Yet every day it felt like ‘one day’ became further and further away.

You couldn’t see it but you were losing weight. But more than that was the internal things you were feeling - being cold, feeling weak, nauseous most of the time, dizziness when you stood up - you always felt sick or weak. This was all you could think about, it felt like all that you had left of yourself. You wanted to change but at the same time, what would that mean?

Facing everything you had become afraid of. Being vulnerable. Telling the truth and gaining weight. Were you ready for that? 

Maybe.

But you weren’t there yet. 

One day you would. Some time in the future when you weren’t as stressed as you were right now.

But every day you were becoming more stressed.

It had been months and you were becoming a shell of who you had used to be. You were quiet, you kept to yourself, you were more anxious and sad most of the time. You kept up your act as much as you could but you would lie awake in bed at night, so confused and frustrated with yourself, your mind, and how you had gotten here.

Which is where you found yourself now, staring off into space as your mind ran a marathon in your head. Bucky laid beside you, both of you turned away from each other in stark contrast to before. 

I need to stop

Not yet, you’re not perfect yet. 

But I’m just so tired, I don’t want to do this anymore.

And give up on all the hard work you’ve done?

I can’t do this anymore.

Can’t and won’t are two very different things. Can’t is when you break. Won’t is when you give up.

You sniffled as tears fell down your face into the pillow. You wanted to stop you really wanted to but you couldn’t. Not on your own. You took a shaky breath as a few more tears fell down your face, body shaking with silent sobs. You sniffed again, hiding your face into the pillow. 

You felt the bed shift beside you. “Y/n?”

You held your breath and tried to blink back the rest of the tears as you heard Bucky turn towards you, you still facing away from him. 

“Y/n I know you're awake, what’s wrong?” he said gently, voice laced with sleep. 

Tell him

Don’t tell him. 

He could sleep through gunshots and in battle zones like a rock but the moment you started crying he was up and ready to fight whoever hurt you.

Problem is, that person was you.

You took a shaky breath, glancing slightly over your shoulder. “Go back to bed Buck, ‘m fine,” you said, voice wavering.

Bucky sighed, scooching across the bed and pulling you into his chest, holding you the way he used to. But very quickly his eyes widened and he loosened his grip at the same moment that you had pushed him away. 

You were smaller than he remembered.

“Get off of me,” you said, shrugging him off.

Bucky sat up next to you, now wide awake. “Y/n, what happened?”

You turned away from bucky, shaking your head. “The fuck you mean?”

“Y/n, you’ve lost so much weight,” he started, uneasy. Everything was starting to make sense, the dizziness, feeling cold all the time.

But why? 

“What about it?!” you suddenly snapped at him. Bucky looked taken aback and you sighed, rubbing your face and swinging your legs over the bed. “Forget it.”

Bucky stood up and walked over so he was in front of you. “Y/n what do you mean? Why are you losing weight, are you sick? What’s going on?”

You felt a wave of dizziness wash over you from standing and put your hand on the bedside table for support. Bucky reached his arms out for you and noticed your face grow paler. “When was the last time you ate?”

Tell him

Don’t you fucking dare

“Bucky, don’t,” you said breathlessly as the dizzy spell began to pass.

“Y/n, please, when was the last time you ate something?”

“I don’t know,” you said suddenly, tears pricking your eyes after the words left your mouth.

Bucky looked at you for a moment, feeling his heart drop to his stomach. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

You shook your head. “Forget it Bucky -”

“No, y/n, you can’t just tell me to forget that you don’t remember the last time you ate,” you tried to wriggle out of his grasp. “Y/n look at me! What the hell is going on with you?”

“Nothing is wrong, just drop it,” you pleaded, still trying to get away from Bucky. You covered your face and your breathing started to pick up. “You weren’t supposed to know, you weren’t supposed to find out, I wasn’t supposed to tell you -”

“Tell me what?”

“That I can’t stop!” you yelled suddenly, tears falling down your cheeks. “I’m not eating and I know I should but I can’t. I’m so fucking exhausted all the time and I can’t do anything about it,” you started shaking your head, rambling through your tears. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, it wasn’t supposed to get this far. I was supposed to be in control but there’s this thing in my head and I can’t make it stop,” you said, sobs wracking your body. 

Bucky pulled you into him, holding you gently as you cried. “I just want it to stop,” you whispered. 

“What do you want to stop?”

“Everything.”

Bucky swore he felt his heart stop for a moment, rubbing a hand up and down your back and whispering comforting words into your ear. He eventually moved you back to sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard and you in front of him, not wanting to be that close quite yet. 

“I - I don’t know what happened, I just - I wanted to be better than I was and then I couldn’t eat and then I didn’t want to and I just feel like I’m going insane -”

“It’s okay, calm down, it’s alright,” he said, pressing a small kiss to the top of your head. “Do you know why you stopped eating?”

“I don’t know. I mean - it was fine for a while, and then one day I just didn’t think that I needed to eat as much. Then I got scared that… I don’t know. Scared that I’d gain weight?”

Bucky tried to appear curious rather than confused. Bodies are bodies, they didn’t change who you were. People gain weight and lose weight, he didn’t think much about it. He didn’t think you did either. 

“Do you know why you were scared?”

You thought for a moment. Why were you so scared? The thought of eating food scared you but you didn’t think much about it. It was easier to avoid the fear, it didn’t matter much where it came from.

“I’m not sure?” you said, more as a question. “I just told myself that losing weight was good and gaining weight was bad. I just wanted something to control I guess. I don’t know I just - I eat something and then I freak out, or I gain weight and freak out. I thought that if I was stronger then I’d be better, maybe I was afraid I wasn’t good enough.” you said, trying to work through your thoughts

Bucky nodded, though he didn’t quite understand. He had always thought you were perfect. “Good enough for who?”

“You guys I guess...maybe myself,” you said, shaking your head slightly. You wiped your face as more tears fell from your eyes. “Everyone on this team is just more of what I want to be. I just feel like I’m the weak link.”

“Y/n, look at me,” he said, making sure you found his eyes. “You’re not weak, the furthest thing from it. We all have our h, we all have our shit to work on. But why this, why stop eating?”

“I don’t think it was ever about eating,” you said, more so to yourself. “I just wanted...something, I don’t know. This thing in my head just keeps telling me not to eat, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Why didn’t you tell one of us, we could’ve helped you I could’ve helped you -”

“I didn’t know if I wanted to stop,” you interrupted. “And I knew that if I had told you, you would’ve made me stop. I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t want you to always worry about me or look at me like you did when you hugged me.” You shook your head. “I am so tired all the time, of all of it. But I don't know if I can stop. I don’t even know if I want to.”

Bucky nodded slightly, knowing the feeling of not wanting to let someone in. you worried about worrying others, you wanted to hold your own. That was understandable to him. He readjusted himself on the bed so he could hug you again. 

“I can’t say that I understand this, because I don’t. I don’t know why you would hurt yourself like this, chasing something that doesn’t exist. But I’m here for you, okay? I’m always going to be here.” He kissed the top of your head. “I know talking about it doesn’t feel like it’ll help but it might. I’m here to listen and help as much as I can.”

“It’s not your problem though, I don’t wanna disappoint you -”

“It might be your problem, but you’re my priority. I love you so if something is bothering you then I am going to help you through it as best as I can.”

He pulled you back to look at you again. “You helped me with my nightmares no matter how much I told you not to worry about me. I didn’t think it would get better but they did because you helped me work on myself. Let me help you with this.”

You looked at him for a few moments before giving him a small smile and nodding. “Okay.”

Maybe one day it would get better. But not unless you worked for it.

[writingismyhappytime]

Baby Daddy (Part 5)

Ryan Sitkowski x reader

Warnings: language, angst, mention of abortion

You're sound asleep, curled up in Ryans bed, the first content sleep you've had in two weeks.

Ryan is lying beside you, staring up at the ceiling as he listens to your calm breathing. He fucked up so bad. How is he going to tell his parents he knocked up a girl they've never met? How is he going to tell his band? God, what if you want to get married? The future is so uncertain and Ryan doesn't know how to feel. He's glad he stopped you from aborting the baby, but now he has absolutely no plan! Ugh! He glances at you, and then carefully crawls out of bed. You don't stir, so he relaxes a little as he leaves his bedroom, hearing the front door. He quickly heads for the stairs, seeing Ricky toss his car keys onto the table, shirking out of his jacket. "Hey." "Hey, man," Ricky turns to him immediately, obviously wanting to ask about the baby but unsure. "She didn't go through with it, we're keeping it," Ryan says after a moment, seeing Ricky relax. "She's asleep upstairs." "Ah. She must be tired." "Yeah." Ryan looks down. "Dude, don't look so bummed." Ricky nudges him with his fist. "It's not the end of the world. You'll be a great dad!" "I don't know," Ryan frowns. "I'm still panicking." "You got time, panic away." Ricky tells him brightly as he heads for the fridge. "At least now the two of you can save money buying condoms for a while, you're obviously not gonna need them!" Ryan groans. "Ricky!" His friend chuckles, sliding him an energy drink. "Hey, you know I'm totally buying all of us cigars when you find out if the kids a boy or girl." "We don't smoke ---." "It doesn't matter, we're still getting cigars." Ricky informs him, popping the lid off his drink. "So other then fall asleep in your bed, has she said anything? The two of you made any plans?" Ryan shakes his head. "Not yet. We just came home and she conked out. She's been super stressed about this." "I don't doubt it. When are you going to tell your families?" Ryan sighs. "When I'm dead and the kids forty." Ricky chuckles. "Don't be such a sour puss. (Y/N) is hot, she'll have super big boobs when the baby is born, and she's really sweet. Sounds like you found yourself a good baby mama. Plus she's obviously not after your money since she knows you're always broke as fuck." Well, Ryan guesses that's true. "I guess." "So do you want a boy or girl?" "I don't care." Ryan doesn't want one at all. "Either is fine." "Dude, what if you guys get twins or something?" Ricky brightens. "Or triplets? Or, like, sextuplets!? You can name them after the band!" Oh jeez. "Why are you so excited over this?" "Because I'm going to get to be an uncle, that's why! Cheers to daddyhood, dude!" Ricky forcefully clunks his energy drink against Ryans. "At least we know your balls work!" ~~~~~~ "Hey, guys?" Ryan calls, getting everyone's attention where they sit in the studio; Chris is a little pissed at him because he bailed the other day and fucked up the recording schedule, but he'll get over it. Ryans going to spill the big news. Everyone turns to look at him, and he shuffles nervously. "I, um, gotta tell you guys something," he says, finally getting to his feet because he can't sit still any longer. He glances around the room, Ricky giving him an encouraging thumbs up with a bright smile. Right. He has to do this, doesn't he? "So, yknow the girl I've been dating?" "Yeah, she owns a store right?" Balz says, leaning back on the couch, and Ryan nods. "Yeah." "When are we going to get to meet her? You guys seem like you're good," Chris says, propping his chin on his fist. "Is she going to be a regular?" Ricky starts to snicker as Ryan sighs. "Yeah, she's gonna be pretty regular alright." "Did you two get married or something!?" Ghost demands, staring at him intently. "What? No." Ryan frowns; he never wants to get married. "Nothing like that." "Then what is it?" Vinny presses, looking up from his phone. "You're killing us with anticipation." Right. Um. Ryan sucks in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "She's pregnant." It takes all the guys a second to process, just like it did Ricky, but it's obvious when the light bulb goes off. There's a collective "oh," and obviously no one quite knows how to react. "Uh. Congratulations?" Balz hesitates, seeing Ryan isn't exactly bursting at the seams with excitement, and the rest of the room is dead silent. "Yeah.... I'm gonna be a dad," Ryan rubs the back of his neck. "We're keeping it, so ---." "So you're gonna be a babydaddy?" Vinny perks up. "Dude, awesome! Maybe it'll inherit your skills." "God, it's gonna be born with a guitar in hand," Ricky teases, lightening the mood of the room. "That'd be hilarious!" Ryan rolls his eyes, slowly sitting back down. "How far along is she?" Chris asks, finally understanding why Ryan has been so absent the past few weeks. "Eight or nine weeks now. We just found out." Ryan knows you're not supposed to announce the pregnancy until about twelve weeks, thanks to some in depth googling, because there's always the chance of miscarriage. Which is why he isn't going to tell his family until then. But his band --- well, Ricky already knows, so why not? It's not like he could have kept his mouth shut for long anyway. "This is so cool, we're all gonna be uncles!" Vinny says excitedly, trotting a little closer to the group. "Is she just having one or ---?" "Uh, one. As far as I know," Ryan hopes to god its not anymore. "And I don't know what it is yet, we won't know for a long time." "Lame! I bet it's a boy." "I think girl," Ricky shakes his head. "And you know I'm always right!" "Wanna bet on it? Five bucks?" "Yeah! Who wants in?" Ryan rolls his eyes as everyone tosses five dollars into the bet jar they always have, shaking his head. The guys are more excited about him having a baby then he is. Urgh. ~~~~~ You press your hands against your lower stomach, frowning. You know there's a baby in there, but you don't feel any different. Your body is still the same --- if you hadnt gone to the doctor you probably would have never figured it out until you gained like eight pounds and couldn't fit into your clothes! The morning sickness should have given it away! You sigh, looking at yourself in the mirror, but your pregnancy isn't obvious yet. You wonder when it will be. Huh. You give one more twist before leaving it, searching for your shoes. You have to meet Ryan in a few minutes at his house, so you don't have anymore time to kill. It's so strange. What are the two of you going to do? You're obviously not going to give it up for adoption once it's born, but how are you going to raise it? You glance around your small apartment, with its one bedroom and bath; perfect for you, but not for a family. Ryan couldn't live here with you, it would be too cramped, and you doubt Ricky would want you to move in there. You'd have to find a new place to live. That's going to be expensive. Should you already be stocking up on baby stuff? When's the appropriate time to start buying? You'd have to stick with the gender neutral clothes until you find out what it is. Is it a boy? A girl? Now that you're keeping it, you feel a little off, you're not sure how to react. Are you excited? Giddy? Bursting at the seams? No. Actually you just feel sort of.... somewhere in between? It's not that you..... You're just unsure at the moment, it still doesn't seem quite real. What if it's just a sick joke? You'd heard of false pregnancies, where all the signs say yes to pregnant, but then it turns out to be something different. Could that happen to you? Ryan would probably be ecstatic if that was the case; his conscience got to him, that's the only reason he'd stopped you. You don't have any ideas he'll want to marry you and have a cute little family with a nice house and a dog; you'd told yourself a long time ago you wouldn't get married. So there's no point in forming that fantasy. When is he going to tell his parents? Are you going to get to meet them? Your mother lives out of state, and you know there's no worries of her flying to see you, so you'll have to tell her over the phone. You sigh as you shirk into your jacket,grabbing your car keys and starting out the door; you figure he's called you over so the two of you can talk, figure out what to do next. Make a plan. It doesn't take you long to get to his house, for once the traffic isn't terrible, and you frown at the lack of parking in front of his house. Why are all these cars here? Why is it taking you so long to find a spot!? You're a little irritated when you finally do, and the fact you have to walk so far doesn't make your mood any better. You're nervous; now that you're having this baby, everything seems so... different. You suppose you should start saving all your extra money, put it back, start a college fund... You knock on Ryans door, not wanting to just barge in like you usually do; you don't feel as welcome now. Ryan opens the door immediately, as if he'd been standing right behind it. You blink at him, slowly lowering your hand. "Hey ---." "Hey. So, my band is here." Ryan looks a little nervous. "They want to meet you." Oh. Wait, is that why he'd wanted you to come over? "You told them already?" You'd wanted to wait until you are at least twelve weeks before you said anything; no point in everyone getting excited if nothing come of it. "Yeah, well, I told Ricky, anyway." Ryan hesitates, his hand tightening on the front door. "And he told me it'd probably be better to go ahead and let the band know. I mean, I'll have to be bailing a lot to come to your appointments and stuff." ... He wants to go to your doctor appointments? "You want to go with me?" "Yeah, why not?" Ryan shuffles a little nervously, finally stepping back out of the door so you can come inside. "I wanna be up to date with everything." That's almost sweet. You give him the best smile you can muster as you shrug out of your coat, tossing your keys on the table with his and Rickys, a habit you'd picked up. Ryan takes your hand, his eyes flicking towards the living room where you can hear everyone talking. "I'm gonna warn you, they're all kind of assholes, so ---." "It's okay, Ryan," you squeeze his warm hand reassuringly; you don't mind meeting his band, since they all apparently know. You think it's a little weird he told them before his own family, but it's not your place to judge. Ryan nods, pulling you after him to the living room where a bunch of dark haired men are, some sitting, some standing, Ricky tossing drinks to the youngest one. The tallest one turns to look as the two of you step inside. He's seen pictures of you, everyone has, but this is his first time really getting a good look at you. Your hair is long, falling down your back, and you're pretty, probably even more so with makeup. Your eyes are swollen, dark rings beneath them, and you're obviously tired. You're only a little shorter then Ryan, who's holding your hand so tightly your fingers might fall off. "Everyone, I want you to meet my girlfriend." Ryan says after a moment, and you give an awkward wave at the group. "Babe, this is Chris, Ghost, Balz, and Vinny." Balz? Really? "Hi," you feel a little awkward as they all look all you. "You don't look pregnant," Vinny comments, earning a swift smack to the back of the head from Ghost. "Ow! What the hell?" "You can't just say that, Vinny." "Why not? She doesn't!" You flush, but Ryan chuckles. "It's nice to meet you," Chris says quickly before they make a horrible first impression. "You too." "So you own a store right?" Balz asks, sitting on the couch, Rickys cat in his lap. "Me and my girlfriend do too." "Yeah. And I know, Ryan talks about it. Oddities something?" "Yup! So if you need any help with your store while you and Ryan are off doing baby stuff, me and my girlfriend can help out, we've pretty much got it figured out now." "Oh." You blink, a little surprised. "Well, thank you." Balz gives you a smile, but you notice how they're all glancing at your sweater, as if you should just start ballooning round at any moment. Um. Right. "I need a drink," you mumble, quickly peeling your hand from Ryans and backing from the room. You head straight across the hall into the kitchen, bolting like you've seen a ghost. Well, you did see a ghost, but --- Ryans not going there. "Did we scare her off?" Vinny asks after a moment, feeling slightly guilty they scared the pregnant lady. Ryan glances over his shoulder uncomfortably; he doesn't know what to do with you, whether to treat you delicately or like normal. He knows you shouldn't be lifting things anymore, but you do need exercise. Or something. Ryan needs to do a little more research. There's a too much stuff to read about babies on the internet. And then there's hormones and stuff and what about if you get mad at him ---!? Fuck! "I'll be right back," Ryan mutters, hastily running in your direction. He hesitantly steps into the kitchen, as if the floor is covered in egg shells. You're merely staring into the buzzing fridge, your fingers hovering against an energy drink. "You shouldn't drink those, they're bad for the baby." The words leave Ryans lips before he realizes it. You glance over your shoulder, your hair falling in front of your eyes. "How do you know?" "I read it online." "Not everything you read online is true." Ryan frowns, he doesn't like your tone very much, but he doesn't respond. You lean up with a sigh, closing the fridge door without picking anything ; you don't like energy drinks, they taste bad, you only drink them at Ryans because that's all they ever have. "Are you okay?" Ryan asks awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. You kind of stop, and you definitely give him the evil eye! "Seriously, Ryan?" You snap, turning around to glare at him, arms crossed. Uh oh. "Uh... yes?" "Ryan!" You're --- annoyed. "You could have told me before I came over that your band was here!" " I --- sorry, I just ---." "You didn't even tell me that you told anyone!" You're pretty sure that's what's upsetting you the most. You haven't told your mother yet, Ryan hasn't told his family --- oh but his entire band has to know apparently! And the way they'd all looked at you... You didn't get pregnant on purpose! You feel tears well in your eyes, but you're already running for the front door. You hear Ryan call after you, but all you can think about is going home, curling up in your bed and having a long cry. Ryan groans in frustration, watching you go. He winces as the front door slams, and he glances out the window as he sees you rush down the sidewalk and towards your car. He sees you get in, and you sit for a few moments. You forgot your keys again, didn't you?