#btw the mark on his pants say “wolf god” so do with that what you will

[biscuit-munchies]

you know what, fuck you *wolfifies your Yamcha*

[macdennisofficial]

any big predictions for s16

Whole season analysis incoming!!! Big wrinkly brain predictions that WILL happen mark my fucking words below!

First episode: The Gang Does Edibles for the first time. "wait a minute macdennisofficial," you say, "they smoked weed before and also crack and sniff glue??" Exactly. They ain't done edibles before.

So you know Frank is like I did Columbian bam bam with Vietnamese sweatshop kids and Dee and Dennis are like "we were legit crackheads before" and Charlie is like "haha I do inhalants so much I built up a tolerance to mustard gas" and Mac is like I am a drug dealer hello ??? They are all like "we are not pussies when it comes to weed we have taken fat ass bong rips so many times" so they just. Dump. Like a whole gallon of weed in the brownie mix. And then between the five of them eat the whole fucking pan to prove how not pussy they are.

Anyway so two hours later Dee "these edibles ain't shit" Reynolds is screaming hysterically and shitting her pants while clinging to the rooftop and staring at the sky, Frank is furiously fucking a rotisserie chicken while listening to sixties war protest rock and seeing colours and having Rambo First Blood flashbacks, Charlie sees everything like a cartoon and is a Disney prince(ss?) who can control rats and pigeons with his singing voice and also hallucinates a musical with the Gang, Mac literally sees God and speaks to him and fucks him. He just fucks God. Full penetration. And God is gay btw and played by Ryan Reynolds. In real life Mac is actually just like lying on the pool table staring at the ceiling light. With this huge stoner boner. Dennis is like weeping in the bathroom because Rick Astley is playing on the jukebox and it's so fucking beautiful and decides he wants to become an artist because the yuck puddle is so beautiful and he wants to commemorate it and it is talking to him

They all manage to meet at some point and talk to each other and hallucinate Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-esque shit together. Oompa Loompas look like Frank's sweatshop children and they sing "oompa loompa doopity doo what the fuck is wrong with all of you"

Episode two: They are discussing Kanye and how they need to separate the art from the artist because they voted for him but they can't support him now that he says all this anti Semitic stuff lately because they might get cancelled for liking him so they just cut all the pictures of Kanye out of the albums and posters and stuff they own and replace it with pictures of Pepperjack. This is especially important they vocally distance themselves from Kanye because Wolf Cola has used him for promotional ads. So they also have to cut ties with him professionally. It's all very selfish because they're concerned about their image.

Episode three: They make fun of Dee for calling herself a feminist even though she never passes the Bechdel test and they argue about how to pronounce it properly. She says she will pass it by the end of the day and she fails constantly but at the end of the episode she finds the Waitress and they talk about something other than men. She is excited and then Charlie is like; "What's her name? It only counts if you know her name." She doesn't know her name. It is titled Dee Fails the Bechdel Test. It is a Chardee themed episode, but they don't kiss or anything.

Episode four: We see the Gang's exploits from someone else's perspective. It is their fucking stalker. They have a stalker and they dont even know it. I mean this is like Joe from You styled narration and everything. The stalker has like Pepe Sylvia style pics on their wall connecting them to various crimes and shit in Philly and it's all true btw but the stalker gets arrested for stalking and attempting assassination (yeah, like an actual attempt at murder) and the Gang is like; "Who the fuck even are you?" despite this stalker being in their bar every day for like years. It is a fun episode because we see them in many mid-scheme situations with like no context.

Episode five: They try to reboot The Nightman Cometh because the find out they have fans because Artemis posted it online and there is fanfic and meta. The reboot is complete and utter SHIT so the fans hate them now lmfao

Episode six: Someone approaches them to say "hey this bar should be a reality series" and they accept but they all agree they should be less problematic because they don't wanna piss off the producers and then the producers are like "actually Mac you're not gay you're bi because it's Not In to be monosexual anymore also uhm you can joke about being into men but you can only ever on screen be with a woman mmkay but lets queerbair you with Dennis." They like insist he hooks up with Dee lmfao and Mac and Dee are FURIOUS. This is like a total commentary on the way television and movies are produced now where the actual writers have little control and the company micromanages their entire lives all for ad revenue and product placement and tiktok soundbites. Anyway they try to go along with it and film thr Pilot just for the studio to say that it was all meant to be a tax write off so their show gets pulled before even being and blacklisted from Streaming Services despite all the work they did and there are jokes about shitty graphics and crap pay.

Episode seven is kind of a part two of the previous episode because Frank buys out the streaming service and calls it like Wolf Soda Streams. They can post all their shitty movies on it and their reality series and also The Nightman Cometh (the original and reboot). Frank accidentally uploads several sex tapes of him and Artemis instead so it crashes and burns and ends up being more lucrative as a tax write off. The employees of the company he bought out all lost their jobs and end up homeless in the alley with Cricket. They all say; "Those fuckers ruined my life!" and he just stares at them and goes; "First time?"

Episode eight: Dennis starts dating a woman who looks and acts exactly like Mac. And literally everybody sees it EXCEPT Mac and Dennis. She's even Mac's cousin. But Mac and Dennis are idiots. And just don't see it. And everybody is like wtf come on. In the end this woman leaves Dennis because she realizes she's a lesbian.

Episode nine: Finally Mac dates a man and Dennis is motherfucking livid. He assumes it's the envy of being single and being dumped a week prior but we all know the truth. Everyone knows the truth. Except Mac. This boyfriend is also played by Ryan Reynolds and as a callback to the season premiere someone says he has the body of God. Anyway the jealousy and envy is eating Dennis up inside until the episode ends with Dennis screaming like a psychopathic madman in the rain while staring at Mac and Ryan Reynolds through a window holding an axe.

Episode ten: This is shot like a horror movie a la The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre. It's like a typical slasher movie with Dennis as the bad guy and everyone hiding from him and he's going after Ryan Reynolds. It's terrifying and all that. Scary shit like wtf this might be too dark for an Always Sunny episode except they pull it off super well and there is humor and stuff. There are lots of Dennis screaming hilarious shit like I HAVE THE RAGE OF A THOUSAND SPURNED LOVERS SPILLING SEED OVER CIGARETTE BURNED PICTURES OF THEIR EXES! Just when he corners Ryan Reynolds and screams at him "MAC IS MINE" with the ax raised the scene cuts to them all still in the bar fucked up on edibles in the very first episode. They've finally sobered up and make a comment about how the past few hours seemed like weeks or whatever and how they hallucinated some crazy shit and then Dennis walks over to Mac and just fucking kisses him on the mouth, and Mac reciprocates and the rest of the gang make gagging noises and call them slurs. The end

[exodusmc]

Wolf and its sheep

Genre: smut, werewolf au, slight enemies to lovers 

Words: 2273

Paring: Werewolf Hoseok x witch reader

Warning!:Mentions of alcohol, blood(not grafic), fingering, pet names, slight degrading, biting, rough, unprotected sex(use protection), making out, doggy, breeding kink, knot

a/n: Would anyone want a smut series with different monsters for halloween?? Btw hope you have a great day :)

Gif is not mine 

“What the hell?!”staring at the mope of dark hair, filled with bad neon streaks, you hissed.

The boy only smirked, eyes trailing down your wet shirt. He spilled his drink on you and had the audacity to laugh. This is why you hated werewolves, especially the one named Hoseok. He had been the bane of your existence ever since you got to know him, that first day in highschool. Being a witch, you weren’t loved by everyone but oh god, you wished to not be the lamb to the wolf.

“Sorry sorry, didn’t see you witchy..”his looped sided smirk sent anger boling in your blood and if you could, you’d curse him right then and there, force him to turn into a chihuahua every full moon instead.

“Yeah right..”you wanted to scream mut at him but his pack was lurking around to your right, snickering like they always did. Fuck this guy and his friends, you hated them all.”I hope you can see further than your thick skull next time..”

Pushing past him, you purposely hit his shoulder, glaring daggers into his golden eyes. You knew from the beginning that you shouldn’t have come to the party but of course had Mina convinced you, even when you pointed out the extent of werewolves which would come. 

-

Two weeks later you were sitting in the library, reading some text about the half moon, when the chair in front of you was pulled out. Lifting your eyes, you instantly frowned at the brown hair with just a stubborn neon green strand left.

“What do you want?”poison laced your tone and Hoseok only laughed.

“Why? Can’t I just visit my favorite witch?”you had seen him smile before, something which seemed to soften his face, but every time he looked at you, would it only be a shit eating grin. 

“No.”

“Oh come onnn!”he whined softly, leaning towards you from his chair. You could see the bubbling mischief in his eyes, the dread  of what was to come making you swallow.”We are having a party on Friday and I want you to come. You’re free right? Or are there some blood ritual you need to do under the full moon? Curse a poor child?”

Frowning at him, you stood up from the wood chair, the friend keeping your aching legs company. Hoseok watched with amusement, lips partying to speak again but you left before he could take a breath, thinking about cursing him under the full moon. 

-

“Why won’t you gooo?!”Mina’s voice rang in your head, her sentence just an hour old. 

She went to the party, she was drunk, she had fun, but she wanted you to be there, she would never understand. Mina wasn’t a witch, only bearing fairy blood and not the kind which made you what you were. It also meant she didn’t experience the hate you received. Some blamed witches for turning humans into monsters but you didn’t believe that, no one could have that power. 

A knock on your door broke the spiraling late night thoughts you had, heavy eyes opening wide. 

Mina was the first name to cross your brain but she wouldn’t knock, probably scream instead. But if it wasn’t her, then who? The clock had just struck  11 pm and when you glanced out your window could you see the full moon in all its glory.

“Yes?”instantly was your whole apartment smelling like alcohol and something sweet.”Why are you here?  I thought I already told you no..”

Hoseok actually smiled sheepishly towards you, cheeks a little rosy, pupils slightly blown. His hair was wild, like he ran here, and his clothes were covered in some sort of paint. You were pretty sure he was drunk but you had read about werewolves getting the same effect from the full moon.

“I know but I’m here anyway..”his voice was lower than usual, pupils almost taking over his irises. It didn’t sit right with you, a feeling of dread spreading through your stomach. He would never do anything, at least you thought so…”And Mina said it was a good idea to visit.”

Why would she say that?

“I don’t believe she did that..”Hoseok frowned, leaning forward into your personal space. 

Heat radiated from him, reaching for your exposed skin. You swallowed too hard, heart picking up speed and if Hoseok would have had ears, they would have flickered towards you. He heard it, no doubt, but you could still keep your mask. Can’t he just leave?And maybe stop making your heart rush at lightning speed…

“But she did and I think you aren’t as mad as you try to be..”he was fast, like every other werewolf, soon standing inside your apartment, back against your gaping form.”I think you can’t hide anymore..”

Turning around, the door closed and you were pressed up against it. His normally brown eyes glowed red and when he smirked were canines shining sharp. The moon fell over him, his breath mixed into yours. 

“Tell me Y/n…can you hide? Can my little sheep run?”you gaped at him, gaze rolling around his face, the confiance which painted every feature.

“H-Hoseok what are you doing?”you tried to sound mad but your voice came out breathless, a shiver crawling down your spine when he lifted a finger to stroke over your jaw.

“I’m claiming what’s mine…”leaning forward, his lips placed a wet kiss on your jugular, sucking ever so softly. You felt his teeth scrape against your skin as he moved up to your ear.”I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time baby…let me have a taste, yea?”

You were getting lost, eyes losing focus as his voice seemed to set you in a trance. This wasn’t the annoying Hoseok you knew, this was a predator catching his prey and you were it. 

“Tell me Y/n…can I have a taste?”he moved away, left you cold and aching, but Hoseok refused to touch you before you said yes, only glaring you down. 

“Y-yes..”his smile was wide but there was nothing gentle about it, hands slowly creeping up your arms until they found hone right under your ear, thumbs lifting your chin. 

Hoseok kissed you, hard, pressing you against the door until you thought it would break. He seemed rushed, lips moving fast like he starved for them, tongue messing with your own. There was no time to breathe, not as your hands moved up to his soft locks. You tugged on them, scraping his scalp, electing low grumbles from his chest. Hoseok was absorbed with the way you felt, fingers traveling to your pajama covered legs.

You suddenly remembered that you weren’t really prepared for this, wearing not so sexy underwear but at the same time…you didn’t really think Hoseok would come bursting through your door and start making out with you. 

“Jump..”his low growl made you break from the kiss, legs falling around his hips while his hands squeezed the flesh of your butt. He smirked, licking swollen lips. Why was he suddenly so hot?”Such a good kitty, listening to everything I say..”

He moved across the room, letting you stare at his neck and peeking collarbones, the sweat forming on his hairline, but you didn’t get to kiss him. Hoseok was determined to make you want him as much as he wanted you.

“You’re my pretty girl, right?”your back dropped onto the not so glamorous bedding you slept on, Hoseok between your thighs and eyes still glowing. He was fighting the wolf but it would be worth all the time it would take. The possessiveness in his voice gave you  butterflies when it probably shouldn’t, heat spreading to your cheeks. His fingers snaked down to your nape, grabbing the hair so you had to arch your back. A breathy moan escaped you when you felt his teeth against the front of your neck, a growl coming deep from his chest when he spoke again.”You’re mine..”

Somewhere in your head, you knew he would mark you but the lust had taken over, left you a mess of his hands, his breath, his mouth. Hoseok could smell you like never before, mouth nipping at the flesh of your no exposed shoulder. He was losing patience and tore the t-shirt you had on, smirking like a devil, like a wolf, at your perky nipples. 

Dragging his fingernail down the valley between your breasts, eyes on you,  Hoseok smirked. The strong willed witch whom he played around with, whom he annoyed, was falling apart under his hands. 

“Here…”he whispered in your ear, hand resting on your stomach.”Here will my puppies be…”

Goosebumps scattered around your body, breath picking up as his fingers slid further down. You were warm and dripping, feeling so small under his moon lit figure, but it felt good, it felt like you could melt from your bones if he touched you. 

“You’ll be a good girl and take them, right?”his breath fanned down your neck, heavy and hot. Hoseok was staring at the skin over your collarbone, staring at the untouched flesh where his mark should be.”You’ll take them all..”

You had been so distracted by his mumbles, by his nipping at your earlobe, you hadn’t noticed his hand slipping into your bottoms. Not until his finger dragged across your pussy, collecting the pooling wetness.

Hoseok felt it, he smelled it. It was intoxicating to say the least, the way you screamed for him without using your words. The simple curle of his fingers in you managed to get the real sounds out of you. 

You gasped out a moan and saw stars the more he coaxed your orgasmn to come closer. A squealing sound left your pussy, something you didn’t have time to be embarrassed by, but it made him hard in his pants, the wolf in him howling. 

Leaving you on the edge of pleasure, Hoseok ripped your pajama pants in two, forcefully parthing you slightly trembling thighs. His mouth watered at the sight you were, teeth growing sharper as his nails pierced your skin. It made you exhale loudly, back arching just a little. He smiled at the way your body was so ready for his cock, his knot to sit deep inside of your pathetic pussy. 

“Oh can’t my little kitten wait? Does she want my cock and puppies so bad??” the moon made him crazy, eyes gleaming red like the blood dripping down the inside of your thighs.”Look at you…leaking all over your bed like a little slut.”

He growled, made your lower stomach combust in need. You whined at his teasing, at the way he so painfully dragged out time. The fact that you could be full now but weren’t made you annoyed. However, Hoseok flipped you around and before you could protest again, did you feel the head of his cock dragging between you swollen folds. He hissed himself and let go of all the control, letting out a final exhale before he bottomed out in you. You could feel him so deep, almost kissing your cervix, but it felt good, it felt amazing. All the anger you fely for him was gone, replaced by your high moans as he moved in and out, replaced with searing hotness. Hoseok could see wetness shining on your thighs, mixing slightly with the blood. It made his wolf growl mine. You were his and nobody else’s, his to hold, his to destroy. 

Your arms were shaking so bad you could hold yourself up, chest falling down onto the sheets. Somewhere along the line had Hoseok ripped his own clothes off, dragging his hands up your sides until they found your neck and hair. He forced you to sit up while keeping his speed up, cock pistoning in and out of your poor pussy, making you feel so good. 

“G-good girl…taking me so well..”he groaned by your ear, squeezing lightly around your neck while you bounced up and down. You were reaching the end, eyes blurring and back arching borderline painfully.”You want it, right? Want all my cum..”

Hoseok was close as well, mouth kissing featherlight on your shoulder, prepping the place where he would bite. He could feel your walls give a final squeez, milking him for everything he got. His teeth pierced your skin and you screamed,  pain and pleasure becoming a big mess of emotions. Hoseok came as well, arms holding you up, resting over your chest. Cum pumped into you, so much so a little bump formed over your lower stomach. 

You weren’t completely there when his knot grew, keeping the cum in your quivering pussy, but Hoseok was. His body fell onto your bed, trying to hold you up until you laid on the messed up sheets. He was breathing hard, watching your chest rise and fall, staring at the wound on your shoulder. You were his now but he was yours as well. 

Hoseok really didn’t think this through because if you rejected him…it would hurt worse than hell for him but you would be fine. He really fucked up..however, at the same time was he happy to finally have you. The wolf was done with pretending and playing, he just wanted to have the one the moon choose for him. 

Tomorrow, he thought as he covered you and himself, tomorrow will he care but tonight are you his and he is yours.

[xopheliasunflowerx]

Shorts (Isaac Lahey Imagine)

Summary: So you brought these amazing shorts at Y/F/S (your favourite/favorite shop) and they look amazing on you, Isaac thinks so too. But when you wear them to school, Isaac can’t keep his hands off of you.

Pairing: Isaac X Reader 

Warning: Slight Smut

Fandom: Teen Wolf 

Season: Season 3 PA

~*~*~*~ 

“So what do you think?” You asked Isaac your boyfriend. You both decided to go shopping for clothes, he wanted to but more scarves to go with his winter coats (which he looks hot in btw). And you did manage to buy scarves…a lot I should say.  

Isaac hums as he looks at the shorts. They were the colour/color of jungle faded green with the fabric of cotton, which they’re really comfortable by the way.  

“They look perfect on you, they match the grey scarf and the denim blue jacket that you’re wearing too. And the white shirt on it makes it look incredible.” He said as you laugh at him. He frowns as he looks at you. “What? Is it bad that I know some fashion taste Y/N?” He said as you smile widely and walk over towards him.  

“No, it’s a good thing.” You said as you brushed your lips against his own as he places his arms around your waist. You pull away and smile at him. “I’ll get them then. And then after that, want some Mexican?” You asked as he didn’t even need to think. 

“You don’t ask me a stupid question like that, scarves and Mexican food are my life.“  

~*~*~  

So you brought the shorts, and your wearing them at school too. All the boys wouldn’t stop look at you, because of them shorts. And let’s just say that… Isaac is totally jealous. Especially when he catches some boy staring, he immediately gives them a death stare or threatens them. Let’s just say that some of the boys are now terrified of Isaac. 

Isaac wasn’t having some horny teenage boys touch his girlfriend, you are his, his girlfriend. And he’s gonna make sure that everyone knows that you’re his. 

~*~*~*~ 

You went to your locker to grab your books out for today. You pull out your maths textbook and exercise book, your history book and English book. Oh the joy of school is carrying so much stuff but then putting it in your locker (lucky we don’t have lockers at my school). 

You close your locker but then all of a sudden you feel a body pressed against your own. His strong arms placed gently against your hips, his strong built body pressed against your own, his soft yet wet lips pressed against your neck. You knew who this is, well because you can tell that he’s slouching down just to kiss your neck. It was your tall giant of a boyfriend Isaac Lahey.

“Isaac!” You moan as he bites down harder on your soft delicate skin. “Isaac stop!” You push him away giggling at him, your small hand on his built chest. “We’re at school.” You said, stating the obvious.

“Well, who’s fault is it to wear those shorts?” He says in a husky voice making you bite down on your lip, blushing like a maniac. He grabs your hand and starts walking, you drop your books since he’s basically dragging you like a rag doll. 

~*~*~*~ 

You and Isaac walk into the boys locker room where you both can have privacy. Isaac pushes you against the wall, sucking your neck making you moan as he finds your sweet spot. You place your knee on his thigh as his hand goes up your shirt. 

You gasp feeling his slender hands creep up there. You can basically feel him smirking against you. He stops kissing your neck and removes the shirt off of you. He stays still staring at you. You started to feel uncomfortable and awkward. You blushed as you try to cover yourself up, but Isaac stops you by grabbing your hands. 

“What are you doing?” You ask in a whisper making him chuckle at you. He pulls your hands down and he stares down at you (well he’s a giant duh!) 

“I’m admiring you, you’re beautiful.” He says sweetly as you blush, you smile sheepishly as you look away from him. He lifts your chin to make you face him, his beautiful crystal blue eyes look straight down at your own beautiful E/C. “I love you.” He says out of the blue as he kisses your neck. 

“I love you too.“ 

~*~*~*~

“Guys I think that Y/N is missing!” Exclaims Stiles as he looks over at his friends, Scott frowns at him as Stiles rolls his eyes and shows him your books that you dropped earlier. “I think she was kidnapped?” He said as Lydia frowns at him. 

“But Y/N can take care of herself, she’s a hunter remember?!” She said as Allison nods looking over at her. 

“Yeah but what if it was the Derach? What if that thing got her?” Stiles said as he starts to freak out, possibly having an heart attack. 

“Wait.” Scott says as everyone stays silent. He then looks up at everyone. “She’s still here.” He said as Stiles sighs in relief. 

“Well thank god!“ 

"She’s in trouble! Same with Isaac!” Scott said as he starts running, Stiles stares having a look saying ‘are you serious?’ And then starts chasing after him, not long with Lydia and Allison behind him. 

"I don’t really care about Isaac.” 

“Stiles!”

~*~*~*~ 

“Isaac!” You moaned as he shoves into you on the wall. Your hands on his back, making marks on him that will soon heal. But for you, this won’t heal until about a month or so? His lips are attached onto your neck, making love marks on there so everyone knows that you’re his and no one can have you. 

He pulls out of you breathing heavily as he places his head on your shoulder to rest, your head leans back against the wall. You take time to adjust what just happen, you try to catch and settle your breathing but after what you just witnessed, it might take some time. 

“I love you.” Isaac says kissing your lips softly but passionately, it was like the last time you’ll ever kiss him. 

“I love you too.” You say between breaths making him chuckle. He gets up and throws you your clothes as you catch them and started to get dressed. 

You managed to put on your panties, bra and shirt while Isaac puts his boxers on. Then all of a sudden you heard a door slamming and running. 

“Y/N! ARE YOU HERE?! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHERE ARE YOU?!” You hear a frantic Stiles yell, you then look up to see Stiles, Scott, Lydia and Allison looking at you and Isaac not even fully dressed yet. 

Stiles stopped dead in his tracks as he sees you without any pants and Isaac just wearing his boxers. 

“Oh god, Isaac put some clothes on.” Stiles says shielding his eyes away from the both of you. 

“Oh Stiles you’re just jealous that I have more muscles than you.” Isaac remarks as he puts pants on. You stand there like an idiot blushing like a maniac. 

“Clearly you guys aren’t in trouble. Just two hormonal teenagers.” Lydia says but mumbles the last part as she walks out, same with Allison and Scott. 

“We do not speak of this out side of this room got it!” Stiles says as Isaac folds his arms and leans against a wall. 

“Sure.” He says as Stiles walks out running to catch up with Scott. 

You and Isaac look at each other as you walk over towards the mirror and looked at the marks on your neck, your eyes widen. 

You soon feel Isaac against you hugging you from behind. But you had other ideas. You turn and slap Isaac on his bare chest making him hiss. He looks at you confuse like a puppy. 

“What was that for?” He asked you as you raise a brow look at him.

“How am I gonna cover these up Isaac?” You say as you try to cover them up with your hair. But Isaac had other ideas. He moves your hands away and moves your hair away as well. 

“Don’t, I want to let everyone know that you’re mine.” He says smiling as you blush. Isaac then walks over to grab his shirt and your shorts as he throws them at you which you managed to catch. “Oh, and don’t wear them shorts in school. Or I’ll find something to punish you.” He says smirking at you. 

You stand there blushing and biting down on your lip as you put your shorts back on. 

I guess that you can’t ever wear those shorts again?

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