#btw all the red wine from an opened bottle i had went into the sauce so i WILL be pairing it with a glass of cocie colie

[transactinides]

wine smells so fucking good as its cooking down...

[ahntravels]

Postmortem.

So, as you all know, I am no longer in Russia. I really hate the fact that I am writing this blog after I have left, after the events of Russia are a memory and I am now immersed in Estonian culture. When you are moving at such a quick speed with your mind having to adapt to different cultures and languages and various variables, etc., it becomes hard to discern one idea from the other. Additionally, yesterday was my birthday, so things are just chaotic, from an existential standpoint. 

What do I mean by that? Well, as Sartre formulated: l'existence précède l'essence. 

Oh Ashley! No! Don’t go there! No worries, I’ll just tip toe there and back quickly...kind of like when you were younger, and you were told not to cross the line and you stuck your toe over the line and then quickly retracted it. Something like that. 

I’ll come back to you, Sartre.

Yesterday was October 17th, a.k.a. my 63rd birthday. The hotel greeted me in the morning with some orange juice and a bottle of bubbly (with a note written on a curious piece of paper that kind of looks like a ransom note):

Alas, there was no time for day drinking. I had trinkets to buy, museums to visit, and dinner to attend. I decided that I was just going to wander and move at my own pace. 

So, first stop was to buy the trinkets. I had a list of demands (written on the palm of my hand/Saul Williams reference) from people who wanted Putin this and Soviet that. So, I spent a few hours sourcing items as best as I could. It was during this exercise that I realized something quite distinctly:

It is true. Russians don’t smile. At first, anyway. 

I remember, about 2 years or so after I moved to NYC, I went back to my hometown of Yuma, Arizona. I was wearing these Frye boots (my favorite pair of boots to date). They are this reddish tan color, and they are really awesome shoes. Anyway, I went to this small local coffee shop and ordered a coffee from the barista, and instead of her turning right away to make my coffee, she stood and started to comment on my shoes. And I was like...uhhh...coffee, please why are you TALKING TO ME COOFFEEEEEEEE and it was then that I realized that I was turning into an asshole New Yorker. 

Well, that is pretty much all Russians. They just look at you, unsmiling, and you kind of feel uncomfortable until you realize that you can do it back and it’s totally fine. I just started to have unsmiling stare-offs with people and eventually we did smile. It was like smile negation, or the 1+1 =1 theory. Actually, the -(1) + -(1) = 1 theory. 

If you are looking for Southern hospitality or have feelings you are desperate to protect, don’t come to Russia.

Oh, the OTHER THING that was slightly annoying was that EVERYONE assumed I was Chinese (when they weren’t assuming I was Russian). This goes to show that there is still only one type of Asian in this world. The worst thing about being categorized as Chinese was that people just started to say “nǐ hǎo” to me. That’s like if you see a black person, you greet them saying, “Yo WASSUP HOMIE G” as if all black people talk like that. That’s part of the reason I just kept my sunglasses on as often as possible; people were thrown off when they couldn’t see my eyes.

So, after buying trinkets, I began my next journey which was to go to the  Fabergé Museum. On the way, I ran into an old theater, and saw that they were also playing that QUEEN biopic (which actually looks awesome):

BTW, GO TO THIS MUSEUM. Again, I won’t spend time posting photos or going into detail because there are websites you can source to find the nice photos. I will say that my mind was blown. I don’t understand the level of detail and artistry artists had back then to create these pieces. 

Look at those opera glasses!!!!

Anyway, I spent a good hour here just looking at all the pieces and the paintings. Definitely a must-go. 

After the museum, I continued my walk and dropped by a bookstore. Most of the books were in Russian, but they had some French/American translations. 

SIDE NOTE: So, I really don’t know what is going on in America, but I read the transcript of an interview Trump gave. At first, I thought this was satire, but realized quickly that it is real. I think I was at a coffee shop and I laughed but then was like...WHAT! I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, but...

That’s a new one. “It’s California’s fault”. And just like the ghost of Christmas past...

I can’t get away from this guy. It’s like a bad romance.

It was lunch time, so I actually ran into this mall and decided to look around. There was a supermarket in the ground floor, and, as one can imagine, there was a huge smoked fish section:

1633 rubles is like...$24.00 or something. Not sure if that is for the whole fish, but the fish were HUGE. 

For lunch, I went to the food court and they had this buffet where you could choose soups, cold dishes (salads and pickles), warm dishes, and various other foods. I finally tried the borscht (hot soup) and it was tasty.

 There was also pickled cabbage, cabbage patty, fried cabbage and potatoes, and the borscht. After this lunch, I was cabbaged out. 

I wandered around some more, and decided to visit the Oceanarium, because, why not. 

I will say, I did feel sorry for these sea creatures. The best Oceanarium I have been to was the Oceanário  in Lisbon, so I already knew I was going to be disappointed. I kind of got lost when I was trying to navigate the space, and I opened a wrong door and saw this:

It literally looked like a breeding factory for aliens. I was half expecting to see bodies in water tubes being fed radioactive isotopes. It kind of reminds me of Disney World when you see the crack in the seams and are jarringly reminded that everything is fabricated and nothing is real.

That time Usula’s head fell off the Little Mermaid ride

After the Oceanarium, I went back to the hotel to rest up a bit before I went out to dinner. I made these dinner reservations months in advance, and I’m glad I did. When I arrived at the restaurant, they were waiting for me. They had a special menu made for me with wine paring AND brought out a Happy Birthday! dessert.

This is a tomato carpaccio with a green olive sauce, purple basil, and cornbread croutons

Stuffed red pepper with a charred eggplant crust and citrus sauce with chives

Quinoa “fried rice” with a coriander lime dressing

The Happy Birthday dessert - Vanilla bean ice cream with strawberries. 

All of this food + 2 glasses of wine = $40. 

Food prices in general in Russia are pretty cheap compared to America. You can get really good food that is fresh with good service for less than $10. And, it’s all-inclusive. For example, that lunch I had earlier? I also had a drink with that meal and it was $7. No tip, real silverware and bowls, and people bus the table after you leave. A meal at McDonalds or Burger King or Kentucky? $4.00 USD and it’s ALL-INCLUSIVE. You get the burger, the chips, the drink, AND they bus your table. It’s a King’s ransom what they charge us in America.

Last thoughts about Russia: 

1) I’m so glad I came.  2) I want to go back. 3) EVERYTHING is in Russian. If you want to get the full experience, I would learn some Russian (or suggest you learn some Russian) before visiting. Many people don’t speak English, so I suggest getting a translator app if you are going in cold. 4) There are surprisingly a lot of Asians here. (CHINESE, heh heh). No, but really, I saw many ethnic Asians wandering the streets, absent of any tourist groups. 5) The scariest people I have seen here are females with government positions. You know what is colder than ice? Their stares. Their look will literally freeze water.  6) My hotel was fantastic, and I would recommend it.

My time was cut short, but, if I had to sum up my sojourn, it would look like this painting:

So, this painting was in the Faberge museum. I don’t know if you can tell, but the room that this painting is in is actually dark with very little light. Look how bright that sun is!! And the reflection in the water! I’m not sure what kind of paint or how this was painted, but the light against the dark, the sun and the hope against the turbulence and the uncharted unknown was striking to me. 

There is your destiny, there is your path, and then there is your ability to steer the ship. Existence precedes essence. It’s the difference between remaining the same and never being the same. Exploring different cultures and reflecting on oneself is a good way to ensure authenticity and evolution. So, as long as I am able, I’ll continue to traverse and search and seek and learn and grow. 

Боюсь, что мне пора. I’m afraid I should be going. But I’ll return!

Tomorrow, I’ll update you on Tallinn. But, sneak peak!