#btw I'm watching Sonic in a minute

[call-me-kitty]

There's only one group of people crazier than Disney adults and that's the Sonic fandom

[starlightbooklove]

I'm fucking pissed with Disney

Cause wdym We could have had a 'tangled' romance, a 'princess and the frog' romance, a star Jack Frost, a love song between the two of them ????

A COUPLE OF VILLAINS That could have had a better song than 'I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent.'

Wdym there is more content of the conceptual art than of the actual film ?????????

I already knew this, but I started watching a video of a girl on YouTube, super recommended to btw, which said the fandom we could have had and be so fr it's so fucking True

And the girl showed a lot of fan content about the concept art and it's so beautiful 😭

Damn it, I need someone to apply what they applied to Sonic or those Percy Jackson fanarts and bully Disney to remake the movie Because the fact that we could have had something that truly honored Disney's 100 years like that 10-minute short did (The fact that those 10 minutes made me cry while the movie made me want to burn Disney says a lot), BUT WE DIDN'T, is enraging as a girl who grew up with the magic of their movies

Disney and Marvel are sharing the idea of ​​making horrible decisions when it comes to creative production and it's a very agonizing thing to see when you've grown up consuming their products.

Anyway, this girl explains it so fricking well, fr Watch her video

I will post the link To a video made by a fan of the star boy and Asha singing their song which is 😭😭😭😭😭🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[ojamayellow]

Earthspark spoilers. It's time for my opinions and theories.

Before I start, I am aware of the writers changing. I will put that into consideration in this. And for the record, I did enjoy Season 2 so far, but I admit it has nothing on S1 for now.

First two episodes were really good, I loved the Breakdad moments, I love Aftermath and we get a glimpse on how the Decepticons have been operating. 2nd episode with the Quintesson gave us some lore and suspense, and I always love a Mo and Thrash tag team. These episodes felt... right for Earthspark, but not as Season 2 starters? If that makes sense.

Hashtag's alt mode is neat, but I miss her chunkiness in robot mode. Made her feel more distinct you know? But I'm with the others saying VAL being an AI in Hashtag's mind is really weird considering what Mandroid did. Maybe she's coping? I have a theory that this VAL might be manipulated in a future episode to control Hashtag, but for the sake of Hashtag's well-being, I HOPE this doesn't happen. (Also, hi Shockwave).

Carnival episode. Is Schloder reduced to an incidental now? I hope not and that he becomes important as well. But also, I figure its a traveling carnival/circus, which makes sense to why we haven't seen this Fairemaestro before, and the little interaction with Swindle shows up 'oh yeah he's a bad guy' already. But you can't just tease a GIANT COSMOS-LOOKING RIDE AND THEN 'OH BTW ITS COSMOS' LAST FEW MINUTES. If Cosmos doesn't show up in later episodes I'll be so disappointed, like...it's freakin' Cosmos! <-Perfect design though. *chef kiss*

I do think the Robby crush on Izzy was cute, but it being involved with the plot felt....eh? It was like, nothingburger to me.

JBAM episode. I LOVED THEM. Jawbreaker has clearly gotten more comfortable with himself and such since Grimlock, but him not taking a hint from Aftermath (who was being direct) reminds me of my younger self. <-Was an insane chatterbox and would not shut up no matter what was said to me.

But the contaminated energon stuff like, yeah callback to that weird bear. Sorry if I forgot, but back in S1, was there a reason GHOST was just leaving it around? I don't remember. And what's with the horrific energon mushrooms, and those poor animals? I know people who are going to be turned off from this show just from that alone, but at least it's 'off screen'? But also Aftermath betraying Jawbreaker hurts, I was hoping he'd like, impress Breakdown with the stolen water BUT NOPE, NO MORE AFTERMATH AND BREAKDAD STUFF. (I know Aftermath was like, not 'what did you just call me' when he was called Son but, cmon!!)

Spitfire episode. I personally think this episode went hard. Gave me Sonic VS Metal Sonic vibes. The fight scenes were really done well, and the tension was so good! To me, Spitfire wanted to be superior but felt inferior when not chosen for the mission, so that desire to be the best consumed her. I'm personally a big fan of this episode, and Alex is awesome. And so was Spitfire, I'm kinda obsessed with her.

Bodyswap episode. Always love a good bodyswap scenario, but somehow this felt... weak. It's plausible for the others to believe Spitfire (as Twitch) had a scrambled processor from the previous episode BUT the fact Wheeljack was the first to catch on? Before a Malto? I'm SO GLAD they referred to Dad2 again but, IDK, feels... strange to me.

Trailer episode. Was kinda nothingburger again? It felt like they needed to add SOMETHING before the horrors of the final two episodes, but maybe I just need to re-watch it because I didn't feel much from it. Optimus was clearly getting aggravated and uncomfortable, which was making me uncomfortable. But also, OPLITA? COMPLICATED? If they don't ever bring this up again I might be a bit...bitter.

And finally, the Witwicky 2-Parter. My anxiety was through the roof here, but I also kinda figured it out early that a Titan was involved. Was still surprised though, and her design is awesome?! But what was making me panic more than anything was Hashtag was going to see Starscream. Yes I know, a one-episode bond may not mean much, but we all had hopes, yeah? Anyway, I love nasty bitch Starscream. It's what makes him Starscream. And I do think what he did was in-character. But it would feel off if Earthspark was someone's introduction to Starscream, you know? This specific one, who's attitude told the audience 'I hate Megatron he abused me so I'd be a better leader than him'. But also...

The scene with him killing the Chaos Terrans was a fucking horror movie. It does a lot when I am SCARED OF STARSCREAM. I wish he didn't do it, but he also needed the shards. If the Autobots/Maltos needed the shards from the Terrans, how would they do it? Would they hesitate to find a safer way to keep the Chaos Terrans alive? Or would there be some sort of urgency? It really makes me think, but Starscream wanted those shards ASAP, he does what he need to do to get what he wants, he's Starscream. A manipulative, traitorous bitch who almost never gets his way in the end.

But you might be wondering, "Kit did you feel like the character development was thrown away for Starscream?" Well, yes and no.

It's really upsetting how Starscream twisted his advice to Hashtag. Truly upsetting. But it also does feel like something a Starscream would do. I keep flip-flopping between "yeah this makes sense" and "um what the FUCK writers". See what I mean by "yes and no?" And Hashtag calling Starscream worse than Megatron AND Screamer taking it as a compliment? Again, very Starscream thing to do, but I think ES! Starscream should've been at least a bit offended?! And out of all bots to call him the worst... Why did it have to be Hashtag? I guess it has more 'meaning', but still...

My theory (or moreso, hopeful thinking) is that Starscream re-invented his advice to Hashtag so he could get detached from her. Starscream had a mission, a personal selfish goal, and he needed to take care of HIMSELF, no friendship. Only comrades willing to follow him, and the Maltos were not those comrades.

My other theory (which I gained from seeing someone on twitter saying this) is that the Chaos Terrans DIDN'T GREY OUT FROM DEATH. Therefore, there is a chance they can return. Maybe something from the Allspark or Matrix or some kinda macguffin will help?! And I sure hope they come back, because they could learn to be good (but still cheeky) and we can bring back the messages and theming from Season 1! Right, right?

As for 'Starscream the child killer'...look, it's upsetting I know. But like I said, selfish goals. And while I am not familiar with every Starscream from different canons, I've met enough versions. Other Starscreams have have committed war crimes, blew up a human hospital, threatened to kill innocents, committed war crimes, wanted to kill everyone to end a war, squished humans in his servos... (yes I know Skybound is more for an adult audience than kids but I'm just saying). War crimes. I am not excusing Starscream's actions here, but when he needs something, he'll do what it takes to get it, for his own selfish goals. It makes sense but I also feel its wrong and I agree with other fans who were quite upset with this scenario. If the Chaos Terrans don't come back I'll be really sad.

Again, I've considered the fact this show has new writers, which is unfortunate. I saw someone on here say that Season 2 (so far) feels like a bootlegged version of S1, which is how I feel about it. I did enjoy the episodes, but they were a bit messy. Also, the lack of Nightshade and honorary family member Bumblebee really made me sad. Was it a script decision, or could they not afford Danny Pudi enough because they used the money on the new cast like Flea? (Don't quote me on like, celebrity net worth here). The lack of Nightshade though is very suspicious though, considering how big of a deal it was for them to exist as a non-binary character.

Side note, Shockwave. I'm glad he finds Cybertron itself more important than creating a New Cybertron, it feels right for him to not care about Earth. But if he going to attempt to lead now? Or something?

If you read this, thanks! If you have any responses feel free to reply or reblog. Feel free to reblog in general, I love hearing opinions and such.

[frostythefrostedfox]

I don't even have a witty caption to make, y'all know this is true, stop coping, I've seen Fallout cutscenes with better animation than this show, putting same 8 characters in the same 4 locations for 23 episodes aint funny.

Boom wasn't trying to take itself seriously and that's why it was funny, but y'all doing the same shit that Boom made fun of and acting like Kojima directed the show, Idris Elba voiced Shadow and Nolan North voiced Sonic

Nine is as threathening as an Ipad kid at Walmart

Alexa Rose gave a minute long speech to a robot like it was able to understand anything.

I can already hear y'all yapping "m-muh mandates", "r-rushed production", "b-budget", how about y'all get a new argument for a change, I can watch Liar Liar every day of my life until I die and still crack my ass off laughing at it, but y'all aint Jim Carrey so get new material, please.

BTW, where is your lord and saviour Ian "Jesus" Flynn preaching his gospel? Because last I heard this man wasn't shutting his trap about how "Prime is 420% canon my dude, how? I can't tell you lol xd because it would be a spoiler, but trust me bro, I know shit... How do I know? Because I made it up like everything I say!", y'all been real quiet ever since the middest of the mid, the ultimate corporate gobslop, dropped

Sonic X wasn't the peak of the peakest-est peak-er either, but damn, it was enjoyable and consistent with itself, at least have some self awareness.

I'm glad I only saw like 2 episodes of this thing before watching S3, and guess what, I didn't needed to watch the whole thing because the exposition dump in this show makes backwatching unnecesary.

And don't think I am going to agree with the other side either, people acting like that bunch of mismatched sprites in one of the introductions killed your grandma or something, dude chill out, is a cartoon blue hedgeheg, yeah it was cringe as fuck but y'all acting like Sonic just said something like "Team Magma did nothing wrong, N was right", you can criticize something without acting like its the end of the world, stop overrreacting, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but by doing this, you aint making Sonic want to come to your birthday party.

Stop pretending this show is Edgerunners 2

Stop pretending this show is The Room 2

[siennaditbot]

Just finished watching all of Kim Possible for the first time ever (and in English) and man, it's such a great show.

I did watch it as a kid whenever it aired in Finnish. (I miss those fun school mornings...) The dub was ok as well, though I won't go back to that again. Did check for some clips and I'm glad I was able to watch it back then, but CCR and Will Friedle are so good. The others are too, ofc.

Anyway, back then it was all tainted by my own feelings, cuz I too had a guy childhood best friend I had feelings for. I saw him and myself in them and wanted the same yadda yadda yadda. Well, stuff happened and we haven't talked in at least a year. No big, pfft.

At least this time I got to enjoy this show without them stupid feelings affecting my experience lol. (Except with the So the Drama "a loop has been formed and I'm not in it" and all the Ron feelings about Kim finding someone else. Ugh, been there.)

Anyway, binge watching gave me a completely new experience. Not much shipping related stuff in the first 2 seasons, though there were some I giggled over and replayed to analyze. Mostly just best friends being best friends. No significant awkwardness.

Seasons 3 and 4 though? GAHH. So much ship teasing. Emotion Sickness is my absolute fav episode with Kim getting a device that controls emotions and makes her fall in love with Ron, and the guy's so confused but also so so lovestruck. (He didn't know abt the device at first btw)

I love all those soff little Ron moments, I keep replaying them over and over.

"It (them dating) could happen!"

"It's not that I haven't thought about it, I mean who hasn't?"

"What's not to like about Kim? She's smart and cute..."

"Something's different now. I mean there's something between us... Who am I kidding, that's not different. There's been something there for a long time. I think there's something there. Does she?"

Gahhh I love soff Ron so much.

Also yes I am the type to rewatch all the soft and kissy scenes over and over, there are others too since compilation videos exist!!

Anyway, just realized how most of their kisses are initiated by Kim, but my favourites? (Lol that feels cringe to say. Fav kisses? Pfft) Either both going in or initiated by Ron! (The Emotion Sickness one is great too, Ron's so love struck!!! Adorable.)

-> So the Drama dance scene (THEY'RE SO SOFF GO LOOK AT THEIR FACES), one where they run into each other's arms, and the final one where Ron places his hands on her face and goes in first.

I never knew how much I wanted to do a forehead touch->kiss or have someone hold my face like that.

Also S1 EP1 Ron voice superiority. So low and cute. That makes me swoon. Gahhhh. Rewatched the first few minutes and DANG I WISH HE KEPT THAT VOICE. I'm barely able to form a sentence rn. Gahh.

Also adore all the denial scenes, Kim's too. Girl's so jealous of Yori. "Awk-weird" to bring your best friend as a kinda date to an event? Oh yeah, feed me. I love the awkward pre-dating stage so much that I'm mad my Sonic fic doesn't have more of it lol.

All the tiny nods to stuff changing during season 3? Ron going "She's not my girlfriend!!" to Shego of all people, all of a sudden and without probing, just cuz she asked where Kim was! I love him.

Also, the theme song is banger. Also also, I set the communicator beep-beep-be-beep as my notif sound. Kinda confusing while watching, though, heh.

Was that all? I think so, maybe. I'm pretty sure no one will read this but hey, what is Tumblr for if not stuff like this. Yay for fictional men and couples!

As a final note, I don't think Ron's an absolute swoon worthy guy (barely feel compelled to draw him), I just appreciate guys being soft. Yes, go talk about your feelings and yes, stutter your way to victory!

Anyway, now I'm done.

I'mma throw some gifs under the cut though.

JUST LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR SOFF FACES AND EYES AAAAAAAAAAA

[smowyashe]

btw, i saw Sonic 3 earlier today and I had so much autistic joy at seeing Shadow, also me and my friend were giggling for a full minute after Sonic called Shadow "Hot Topic"

also our Shadow introject came out of dormancy from it (we watched the first Sonic not too long ago for the second time and we also split a Dr Robotonik introject lmao) and I'm also kinsidering Sonic, allllsooooo we're most likely gonna form some more Sonic alters so yeah gonna be a fee rambles abt Sonic and co. lmaooo

anyway Shadow's emo ass was so relatable and I walked in there looking like Hot Topic myself so it wasn't surprising to anyone that I got the most excited abt Shadow

im so excited for 2027 cause its gon be the year of bangers, Sonic 4 and Spiderman Through the Spiderverse, made me postpone my suicide 😆

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

Sonic Boom Liveblog For The Same Reason:

—

oh yeah i forgot they got powers in the game

—

Evil Ham Count: 1

—

Amy personality in SA: girl

Amy personality in SB: different girl

—

making these episodes 10 minutes long was a great decision

—

*incredulous* "Asparagus crostini? Hempseed Quiche? Goat cheese with red radiccio spread???" yes but, see, you know all of their names

—

sticks is so autistic, i love her

—

sonamy shippers, we are not the same, but we are brethren

—

no one can take my love for bastardized knuckles

—

"'Capable' is my middle name." "I thought your middle name was 'Thuh.'"

—

i'm in love with the blend of slapstick, dry comedy, and comedy of error

—

"No one's faster than Sonic" not true, tails. he never even leaves the screen

—

*destroys a bunch of robots* ;) HE'S JUST LIKE ME FRFR

—

i particularly appreciate the tails leia-and-r2-d2 moment disguised as a reverse tails leia-and-r2-d2 moment

—

S01E10: Cat People Living With A Dog For The First Time

—

i wish i could watch this at 2x speed

—

*eggman voice* here's a little lesson in trickery//this is going down in history//if you wanna be a villain number one//you have to chase a superhero on the run

—

*eggman voice* i'm blue dabadeedabadai dabadee dabadai dabadeedabadai dabadee dabadai danadeedabadai dabadee dabadai dabadeedabadaiiii

—

gogoba 1: we'll just hang here until we go numb

gogoba 2: and our bodies will reflect our emotional state! :)

—

SONIC HAS AN ANSWERING MACHINE ON TAPE

—

i like that they changed the lights on the evil robots from blue to red, to help visually imply that the evil robots have turned evil

—

we love a morally unfettered germophobic trans king

—

*is bored* awww, he needs his boyfriend :(

—

;0; I WANNA SEE MY BOYYYYYY

—

*cow emerges from stormcloud* oh, it's io!

—

i missed my boy so i drew him shittily again

—

Holy Shit There's 102 Episodes In This Bitch I'm Never Gonna See My Boy

—

the thing about orbot and cubot's band is that each part has pretty decent rhythm, but they're not at all in sync

—

ok full transparency i skipped a few episodes so i could see shadow sooner

—

he's lovely btw. not himself, but it's sonic boom, we can forgive it

—

he's so closeted, even he can't figure out why he keeps getting in kissing distance while fighting sonic

...or maybe he's just like me frfr and is internally love-phobic to himself and needs to destroy the object of his affections. don't worry, shadow; first crushes are always the hardest

—

this has reminded me that i don't remember his role in the game

[shades4dogs]

i left a comment on the vid itself so i'll just paste it here haha. basically it's just got the most egregious provable example of terrible research i've ever seen in any of his vids

hi, been subscribed to the channel for a couple years, and genuine question: is he getting bored of making these or something? the research here even for things i know literally nothing about going in is so overtly bad. the meaning of 108 can be gotten by googling "significance of 108". the pronunciation of "shiranai" can be gotten via google translate, disregarding the fact that it's a pretty commonly-used japanese word. aside from the "bit" of mispronouncing foreign languages, to me it just comes off as poor research when people can't be arsed to look up how to pronounce a word or two. takes less than a minute. and it really takes absolute minimal research to know that garn47 is a shitpost game (i googled "what is garn47"). i hadn't even heard of it 'til i watched this video because i don't touch fnf with a 10 foot pole but literally, less than 2 minutes of research to understand the cat is called car and the voice is you calling to it (i googled "garn47 cat"), and the room with the pictures is a fanart room. he even calls the cat Car later in the vid, so why he misunderstood the voice line is weird to me and just indicates he really isn't putting much thought into this. the "evil shadow the hedgehog" (??? it's obviously not shadow?) is a modern creepypasta character called 2017 X or "X". (i googled "garn47 sonic"). from 10 seconds briefly skimming his wiki page, i now know he isn't even in the game anymore as of last month. so oddheader is also just including outdated info and footage without any clarification. granted, he could have created this video before that happened, but with everything else it just adds to the negative impression. i'm baffled how he even got some of this footage, e.g. the "soretro" song from fnf, without learning that the "some sort of glitchy mario" is called Soretro? the lack of information given and actively bad/false info almost comes off as intentional. not saying he had to list every single character's name out, just saying that he's obviously leaving out basic info about the contents of the game, like the fact that these characters are memes, or any information about their origins when there is plenty out there -- and it pretty crucially isn't remotely "unsolved" (or creepy, but whatever). EDIT: also just from googling garn47 i found its itch.io page, aka its official release, so literally the first thing he says about the game is misinfo! multiple fans of this media are in the comments correcting this video and commenting on how poor the info given is. when unearthing/exposing this info is the objective of your entire channel, i can see why some are complaining. with all that about something i CAN research very easily, it makes me wonder what flaws there are in information i can't research so well. such as non-english games, or ones i don't feel compelled to research myself. i understand part of these videos' purpose is to entice the audience to research further themselves, but when oddheader misconstrues basic information about the content he's trying to platform it just comes off as really lazy and uncaring tbh. and i barely count what i just did as research whatsoever. i like that you can get extra context for the games oddheader talks about in the comments, but when a majority of it is just clarifying basic information about the game... something's up with that man, idk. and i'm definitely not expecting any followup to clarify info he missed, as great as that'd be in general. i'm still subbed atm, but i'm genuinely considering unsubbing if the quality of his research keeps decreasing like this... if anyone read this, thanks xD just needed to put my thoughts out in text. btw, i focussed on garn47 here because it's the most egregious example of poor info i've seen from the channel in recent memory. just my opinion and perspective on all this! thanks again

oddheader's most recent vid is so bad dude

[dan-crimes]

Y'know Twitch ads wouldn't be so bad if they didn't BLAST MY FUCKIN EARDRUMS Twitch really said fuck poor ppl RUPTURED EARDRUMS BE UPON YE

[piko-rose]

I just pictured something from within my mind and I must introduce this chaotic scenario that is 100% fitting for the Wachowski father and son duo.

(Pre-Sequel btw)

Sonic didn't get any sleep.

Like, AT ALL.

He stayed up AAAAAAALL night long playing video games and reading comic books, and right when afternoon came, the hedgehog's lights get knocked out before he can even ask if lunch is ready.

Maddie tucked him in his little racecar bed, feeling bad for him feeling restless. He really shouldn't have stayed up all night.

Meanwhile, Tom, who wholeheartedly agrees with her, just had a stupidly funny idea in his head.

Maddie recognizes the face and asked what is up. He could only reply with: "You'll see."

A few hours later, it was almost sundown, and Tom just came back from the dollar store with a fake mustache accessory.

Maddie knew it from the beginning. She can't stop him now.

"Sonic. Wake up." Tom shook the Blue Devil in a frantic manner. The hedgehog groaned, not wanting to wake up to the real world and want to go back to chili dog wonderland.

"Noooooo... " He quietly complained under his mumbles, turning away. "Five more minutes..."

"And by five more minutes you mean five more years?!"

Suddenly startled by his yell, Sonic jolted upwards, his eyes blinking constantly, trying to wake up. "Wha-?! What the heck, Donut Lord?!" He rubbed his eyes.

"'Donut Lord'" He was then lost in his own thoughts. "I haven't heard that name in years..." He said, his voice toned deeper.

Sonic looked at the sheriff with the most confused look on his face. He's still processing that fact that he is awake now. "Tom, what the actual heck are you talking abou-?"

Sonic paused as he just noticed Tom grew facial hair above his top lip. "...Wut?"

"Sonic, I totally forgot that your eyes were green." Tom dramatically spoke out. "What in the-? Tom, when did you grow a mustache?! How long was I asleep??!" The young space hog grew worried now, wondering how long his nap really took.

"TEN YEARS!" Tom grabbed Sonic's arms and shook him slightly. "YOU HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FOR TEN YEARS!"

"WHAT?!" Sonic's eyes flung open with fear. He backed away from the panicking sheriff to process. "Oh, my God I've been asleep for that long?!"

Tom tried his best not to let out a chuckle over Sonic's reaction.

"I stayed up for so long I- I should've just go to sleep at the right time but instead-"

"A whole decade without you, Sonic. One. Whole. Decade."

"Nonononononono this isn't right! I didn't sleep for that long but you have a moustache! How long does it take to grow a mustache?! You were waiting for me to wake up for ten years?! No! NO! I can't believe this!"

Sonic was on the verge of tears.

"OH, GOD THAT MEANS MADDIE IS OLD TOO! AND OZZIE! OH, GOD NOT OZZIE! AND WADE TOO, NO! OH MY- IS CRAZY CARL EVEN ALIVE?! IS OZZIE STILL ALIV- HOW MANY ISSUES OF THE FLASH DID I JUST MISS?! OR THE TV SHOWS THAT WE WATCH?! DO WE EVEN WATCH TV ANYMORE- DO CHILI DOGS STILL EXIST THEY DON'T EXIST ANYMORE DO THEY OH, MY GOD NOOOOOOOOO-!!"

Then Donut Lord began wheezing. Sonic hid his face in guilt and sobbed. Tom did his best to stop himself from laughing as he heard the hedgehog cry. He didn't expect him to get so dramatic so quickly.

"Buddy! H-Hey buddy, it's okay! It's okay!" He said between giggles, as he placed both of his hands on Sonic's shoulders. "It was a joke! See?" He ripped the mustache off, revealing it to be just a costume accessory.

Sonic, hiccuping his cries, took a full look at the sheriff that hasn't changed one bit. "You were only asleep for a few hours, bud!" He said with a genuine smile.

Realizing what is happening now, Sonic was pretty pissed.

"Jerk Lord." He growled weakly before he crawled under his sheets and sniffled.

"Sonic, it's alright! I'm sorry, okay? It was just a joke." He patted Sonic's quills emerging slightly from the blanket.

"Not funny. Didn't laugh." He muffled, sounding more tired than ever.

"Come on, buddy. I never meant to make you cry. I really am sorry. You're okay."

He was still pretty mad at Tom. He just woke up from his nap, he can't do that! He couldn't think straight when he's tired. Now he really needed to go back to sleep.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Shut up, Thomas..."

Tom chuckled. Sonic kept his giggling a little quiet, so he wouldn't hear him. Maybe it was kind of funny. He did looked ridiculous with a mustache.

[fleetsonourgecentral]

Hi! I've recently dipped back into the Sonic fandom, and I've been checking out your blog as of late! I really like it btw, very cool content!

If you're still doing the prompt list and it hasn't been done already, could you do 8? Thanks!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my blog!

8- “Fuck…. I knew I should have bought those light up sneakers.”

Scourge was on the verge of becoming a marvel to science. He was hours, if not minutes, away from developing the ability to defy gravity for an unlimited amount of time. Because if he had to sit inside for much longer, he was going to literally start climbing the walls and crawling on the ceiling like some kind of sleep paralysis hedgehog demon.

Foot tapping impatiently, he checked the clock. Yep, just as he expected. He'd been inside for three hours and thirty seven minutes, and a glance to the window confirmed he would most likely be stuck for a few more hours.

Seriously, how the fuck was one planet capable of raining so fucking much?

More importantly, what the fuck was wrong with its citizens that most of them voluntarily went out in said rain even when their plans were completely unsuited for it?

Then again, the longer Scourge was trapped inside, the longer he understood the urge to say "fuck the weather" and go do something. Anything.

Sighing, Scourge threw himself onto the couch and flung an arm across his eyes dramatically, even though no one was there to see it. Sonic had gone out for a run five hours ago, and Scourge had taken great delight in knowing the bastard was caught in the rain for all of fifteen minutes before his bastard friends cheerfully announced they were leaving to watch some stupid outdoor dancing competition despite the fact the sky was attempting to drown the planet. Then he'd watched in horror as they left the warm, dry safety of their base armed with two coats and a single, tiny umbrella that would not cover all of them and was a fucking afterthought.

To be fair, he probably would have also given in and just subjected himself to the weather to go on a run, but there was one, teensy tiny itty bitty little problem with his plan: he had no fucking shoes. Because his were destroyed yesterday during a fight involving acid that absolutely wrecked his (custom!!!) sneakers. And not even Scourge, in all his boredom and lack of impulse control, was willing to go out in the rain for a run with no shoes. Wet socks were not worth the momentary relief of doing something, nor would they be worth the ridicule he'd receive once he returned and everyone found out he went running in only his socks.

Besides, Scourge's ankles were already infuriatingly weak, and slipping in the rain without any shoes could leave him with an actual injury instead of just bruised pride, which would result in even more time stuck inside as he healed, and, ugh. It wasn't worth the risk.

That didn't mean he wasn't strongly considering trying to chew through the arm of the couch just to see if he could.

Maybe he could go to the lab and bother Kintobor? Sure, he wasn't allowed in the lab without supervision, but hey, no one was around to tell him off. And Kintobor was surprisingly willing to share embarrassing stories of Sonic, which made for great blackmail material, even though Scourge honestly had no idea how the hell a fucking AI knew any of said stories.

Ugh, but Kintobor was also a snitch, and even if he humored Scourge, he would definitely tell Sonic about the rule breaking when he got back, and as funny as it was to piss Sonic off, Scourge wasn't in the mood for the argument it would cause. It wouldn't even be a fun argument. Sonic was weirdly protective over that hunk of junk, although he'd spend his last breath denying it, and if Scourge went into the lab without supervision, the weirdo would consider it some kind of threat or some shit. Plus, he'd just gotten enough trust to stay in the base alone. Getting a few embarrassing stories wasn't worth getting his no-babysitter-required rights revoked.

Back to contemplating chewing through the couch it was.

"Fuck... I knew I should have bought those light up sneakers," Scourge muttered, shifting so his head was dangling over the edge and his legs were swung over the back of the couch. They'd been gorgeous sneakers, too. Black with red and green highlights, and nine - nine! - different settings for the lights. Scourge had wanted them so, so fucking badly, but he'd forced himself to walk away without even stealing a pair. They just wouldn't support his ankles the way he needed them to, and there was no point owning sneakers, not even gorgeous, light up ones, he couldn't wear.

Fuck, but he'd take any shoes over no shoes right now. If he just had those sneakers he could go out for a run. Not too far, just in case his ankles gave out on him, but any short run would do. Fifteen minutes, that's all he needed to alleviate his mind-numbing boredom-

The front door opening had Scourge scrambling to get up. Finally, finally, someone to harass.

He tried very hard not to feel like a pet rushing to greet their owner as he bolted to the door, just in time to watch Sonic step inside, absolutely drenched and clutching some bags.

Excellent, his favourite victim.

"You look like a drowned rat," Scourge said, leaning against the wall and trying not to look longingly outside.

"That happens at least once a week," Sonic said, although his grimace gave away how less than pleased he was with his soaked fur. "Where are the others?"

"Gone watching some dancing competition."

"Ah, shit, was that today?"

"Fucking apparently, although why it wasn't cancelled I'll never know."

Sonic snorted. "If we cancelled events every time there was a bit of bad weather, we'd never get anything done."

"If they come back with a cold and infect me, I'll be pissed."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how colds work," Sonic said, dumping the bags on the nearest table. "Make yourself useful and help me put all this shit away."

Scourge rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, but grabbed the nearest bag anyway. Even something as mundane as putting away groceries was more interesting than sitting down and letting his brain try to eat itself.

As he peeked into the bag, though, he paused, frowning in confusion. "What's with the shoe box?"

"I bought trainers."

"Sneakers. No shit. But why? You never buy shoes, you get yours made because you wear out normal sneakers way too fast."

"They're for you, genius," Sonic said, rooting through his own bag.

Scourge short circuited. "Huh?"

"They're. For. You." Sonic repeated, rolling his eyes. "I didn't want to listen to you bitch about not being able to leave the base, so I bought you some trainers while I was out."

Scourge blinked. That was... he knew he needed new shoes, but he thought he'd need to order them online and wait for them to arrive. Or, at the very least, for one of the girls to go fetch him some shoes, if he promised to pay them back. But Sonic? Sonic didn't do shit like this. Not without a healthy amount of whining, pestering, irritation, and bribery. Tails once broke his own bed by jumping on it too much, and Sonic told him to "take his wallet and walk his ass down to the shop to buy his own damn bed, and call someone when he needed to bring it home."

So, yeah, Sonic doing something so... so nice, especially out of the blue (ha), was suspicious, to say the least.

"What do you want from me," Scourge said slowly, taking out the shoe box and holding it at arms length like it was about to explode.

"For you to pay me back," Sonic said, which, yeah, that, at least, sounded like him. "Don't worry, I got the cheapest ones I could find that weren't complete shite, 'cause I know you're broke as fuck. Just try not to run too fast in them. I don't know what kinda shit your dimension makes shoes out of, but in this dimension, it's not normal. You will destroy them in five minutes, max, if you run at top speed, so don't do that."

Scourge cautiously set the shoe box on the table and opened it, pulling out the sneakers to inspect them.

"These are the ugliest sneakers I've ever seen in my life," Scourge said.

"What part of cheap did you not understand?"

"They don't match my jacket."

"Sure they do. They both look like shit."

"How am I supposed to not run? Do you want me dead? Because I know for a fact you'd sooner die than not be able to run, and I don't know why you think I'm any different."

Sonic let out a long, long sigh. "They're temporary. Just to let you get out of the house until we can make you new trainers that can withstand your speed. I'd lend you a pair of mine, but I know your ankles need extra support, and those were the cheapest shoes I could find that give that support. So you'll just have to suck it up and deal with them until we can make you new ones."

He bought sneakers specifically with Scourge's weak ankles in mind?

... Huh.

That was... surprisingly thoughtful.

"You're lucky I can make anything look good," Scourge said at last. "These sneakers would make anyone else look like shit and destroy their reputation."

"I'd say that's what I'm hoping for, but no one cares about you enough for you to have a reputation. Now help me put this shit away."

Scourge slipped the new sneakers on - thank fuck he and Sonic were the same size, these sneakers may not be as comfy as his old ones, but at least they fit - and got to work. He only complained a little, which was the closest Sonic was going to get to a thank you, and they got about halfway through their task before Scourge finally registered one of Sonic's other statements.

"Hey! I'm not fucking broke, you bastard!"

[hjazysol]

All Reactions to no more taunts online

Mario: So your-a telling me I get 2 new-a taunts and I don't can't-a use them.

DK: R.I.P DK Don't know lost but never forgotten.

Link: Mine were a bit blunt anyway.

Samus: Fine with me.

Yoshi: Can't rub salt in wounds now.

Fox Ultimate Voice: Come at me Sakurai!

Sakurai: Time to nerf Fox.

Fox Sm4sh voice: I was kidding.

Pikachu: I'll live without them.

Luigi: No more D-Taunt kills 😱.

Ness: Okay.........Wait a minute.

C.Falcon: Moves won't be shown 😢.

Jigglypuff: *takes out pen* Better run developers.

Peach: Oh no!

Bowser: I'll never say taunts suck again now I have none.

Ice Climbers: Not cool.

Sheik: Idle animations suck anyway.

Dr Mario: You can say that again.

Zelda: I just got a new one though.

Pichu: At least I can crawl.

Falco: Sorry what?

Marth: I just learned english though

Lucina: Oh well whatever.

Young Link: But I just came back.

Ganondorf: This is unacceptable.

Mewtwo: *grunts and turns away*

Roy: It can't be.

Game & Watch: !@#$%!@#$%!@#$%!@#$%

Meta Knight: I can't tell you to fight just do it yourself.

Pit: Noooooooooo!

Dark Pit: So (He's secretly sad)

Wario: Hey Pichu I'll join you.

Snake: Great. I had 1 now I have 0.

Ike: Don't prepare yourself, that hurt to say.

Red, Ivysaur and Squirtle: Aww man.

Diddy Kong: Playing with me is enough of a taunt.

Lucas: No more tripping. I'm sold.

Sonic: Guess I'll save my dance moves for disco. BTW not supposed to be sayin this but that's what's happening after The Ultimate Battle is finished.

Me: Hey you aren't supposed to say that rat.

Sonic: Sorry gotta juice.

Lucario: They're pitiful anyway.

Toon Link: D-Air offstage exists 😁

Wolf: Are you scared. Scared that I'll kill someone with my style.

Villager: Mine were too long anyway.

Mega Man: *Twitches foot* Still got it.

Wii Fit: I can't stretch anymore?!

Rosalina: Losing to me is a taunt.

Little Mac: Side-B offstage.

Greninja: Can't gimp Ike now.

Ike: What?!

Greninja: Oh no.

Palutena: Too bad for us.

Pac-Man: I only had 1 good one.

Robin: No more tipping scales. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep.

Chrom: Honey, no.

Shulk hysterically: I can't feel it, I have no more senses. Hahahahaha!

Bowser Jr: Seeing me is a taunt.

Bowser: Don't say that about yourself.

Duck Hunt Duo: *whining*

Ryu: Taunts are cheap.

Cloud: I care why?

Corrin: No one'll be ready for this!

Newcomers: You could taunt online!?

Dark Samus: Is a taunt food?

Daisy: No, I think it's when you mock someone for losing.

Chrom: Sounds rude.

Ken arm around Chrom: Sounds fun!

Inklings: Bring em back Sakurai!

Sakurai: Nope.

Ridley: Come it's a new experience.

Simon: Sounds like the work of demons.

Richter: Agreed.

Doomguy: Let's go demon hunting.

Sakurai: There is no devil worship going on.

Isabelle: No one taunts = happiness.

Joker: Right.

Pirahna Plant: True.

Sakurai: Thank you.

Bandana Dee: But I wanna taunt.

Dedede: You peasants.

Dedede comes in the room with Kirby, Incineroar, King K.Rool, Bayonetta, Olimar, Charizard and R.O.B

Dedede: We still get taunts check it

R.O.B: It is time for me to raise the roof with up tilt. Woop. Woop.

King K.Rool: Best strut, I got a dab in crouch and double dab in shield.

Olimar: T-Pose to assert dominance says shield.

Incineroar: Poses after all attacks!

Bayonetta: Poses during all attacks!

Dedede: Kirby has his trademark dance as well as being able to taunt when discarding abilities and Charizard's got the Zard walk.

Dedede gets ready.

Dedede: And I-

Sakurai: Put these sunglasses on.

Newcomers: Why?

Dedede: It is time for my infamous crouch.

Doomguy: Woah it's so bright! Why!?

Sakurai: His crouch is the best taunt in the entirety of smash.

Dedede: Heck Yeah!

Master Hand: Up you go now.

Dedede: Oh no just a bit more.

Geno on the top of stairs in PJ's: I woke up for this.

[zatyrlucy]

I am looking at the latest Ashley stream, not the one of Sonic 06 (which btw it lasted 7 hours like wtf) but the other one with Husk’s voice actor and the other guy and...

Do they actually say something important in the whole video ??  I wanted to do a list of facts but it seems like the stream is just them talking and talking...No really, tell me guys, do they say something interesting about Hazbin Hotel at all? because I'm in the minute 2:18:00 (and I didn't watch the fanart part) but I'm getting f*cking bored.  

[theroguejackal]

Watch it I shall but buddy YOU JUST GOT ME EVEN MORE EXCITED FOR IT ONCE YOU MENTIONED THE MID-CREDIT SCENE I'M JUST WONDERING WHAT IT'S GOING TO SHOW AND WHO IS GOING TO BE IN IT (my guess is either Shadow or metal Sonic DON'T TELL ME)

btw

Sonic 2 hits theaters in......

8 days 3 hours and 41 minutes

I"M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'VE JUST WATCHED SONIC 2 IN THE PRE-PREMIERE IN MY COUNTRY AND IT'S SO FUCKING GREAT!!!! I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW. THE WHOLE MOVIE IS ANOTHER LEVEL. SONIC, TAILS AND KNUCKLES' FRIENDSHIP IS JUST AMAZING AND ALL OF THE CHARACTERS ARE INCREDIBLE. JIM CARREY AS ROBOTNIK IS JUST PERFECT!!! AND...AND...AND THE MID-CREDITS SCENE...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! MY HEART IS BEATING SO FUCKING FAST, I CAN'T GET OVER IT!!!!!!

YOU GUYS HAVE TO WATCH IT PLS JFJFKSKDKD💙💛❤️💎🔥✨😭🥺😍💯👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[goron-king-darunia]

Annon-Guy: Weekly Reminder (Inbox) - 1. Glad you liked the Symphonia/BlazBlue Interactions. Persona 4 Arena week will be next. BTW, what did you think of the BlazBlue Week Interactions? 2. I watched Sonic X The Metarex Saga again. Cosmo's death is still sad regardless of the Dub (Japanese Dub hits harder, but Cosmo still dies in the English Dub, which 4Kids rarely let happen).

1) I thought all the BlazBlue interactions were great! They're a little hazy in my memory now, but I can't think of anything I disliked about them! (Also, not sure if you read my tags beyond just searching for the one I use to indicate an answered ask from you, but I do talk in the tags sometimes! I usually say what I want in the tags~) [Also this is clearly an old ask because I just responded to the Persona 4 interactions.] 2) I haven't seen the Metarex Saga in ages but I do remember Cosmo's death was very sad. It probably is punchier in Japanese because that was intended for a broader age-range. A lot of times emotions get a lot duller in the English localizations, partly because 4Kids is mostly about... just cranking out content for kids with quality being a secondary concern and partly because these VAs have, like, 20 different roles at a time so I don't blame them for not being to emote perfectly every time, especially when they're dubbing over something that already exists so they're likely to just try to get close enough rather than do it perfectly. Still, I agree, it's wild that they actually canonically let Cosmo die in Sonic X in the 4Kids Dub. I'm pretty sure they didn't get to SAY she died but she literally did die on screen. And that's incredible. The 4Kids dubs of most shows didn't even get to mention death. They invented shit like the Shadow Realm in Yugioh to avoid having to confront the fact that the consequence for losing was literally death so instead they're like "why don't we just send them to hell but call it something different?" I remember distinctly how often the 4Kids Dub of One Piece had to skirt around death and violence. Even something as innocent as Luffy bonking Coby on the head for being a chicken got edited out because apparently a good guy hurting another good guy was too close to bullying. All the guns were brightly colored or some weird contraption like nerf gun with sucker darts or some bizarre trigger-action hammer. Honestly, 4Kids OnePiece was insane. Dr. Hililuck kills himself on-screen in the original by drinking liquid dynamite and exploding (he was terminally ill anyway so he was just choosing his time to die) but in the 4Kids version, because they weren't allowed to acknowledge that he was terminally ill but they couldn't avoid the fact that he died because it's literally a foundational moment for Chopper, there's just an eerily long silence and a shot of the peak of the Drum Mountains and no explosion, but the hat comes smoking down the peaks anyway and Wapol has to gesture both too explicitly and too vaguely that "he did himself in" while mocking him. So it's not ambiguous enough to avoid mentioning that he very much did commit suicide, but it's also not explicit enough. So literally all you get is Hililuck drinking a clear liquid, Kureha drinking "juice" and wishing him goodbye, and then a looooong silence followed by Wapol confirming that he unalived himself. And it 100% reads like "He drank bleach to kill himself." because god forbid this guy's last minutes on earth are both impossible for a child to reproduce because where is a child going to get liquid dynamite (it's not imitable violence and no gore was shown, he just evaporated himself) and also an act of 100% justified revolt. He goes boom explicitly because it sends a message to the villainous king and sends a message to EVERYONE ELSE. He literally goes out with a bang. But yeah, no, can't say he died. Nope. Even though any child could 100% put together that he absolutely killed himself. 4Kids saw animated pirate show, bought the rights with something else they wanted to dub, then got 2 arcs in and went "we fucked ourselves" and then frantically tried to paint over all the violence and failed so miserably that I used to have a screen shot collection of bad edits they did where blood was still visible or the color matching was so poor the blood they edited out looked like urine. It was nuts. 4Kids was an insane localization studio. Still 4Kids dubs had some fun moments. (Speaking of, my favorite One Piece movie is

on Netflix, go watch it.) Also, speaking of 4Kids and Sonic, Sonic X ruined me because I was watching a Netflix show called Heavenly Bites: Mexico and Lisa Ortiz was part of the English Dub and the whole time I was like "Who the fuck is that? Why does that sound like Amy Rose? And then I looked up the voice actor and sure enough it's Lisa Ortiz and her name was in the dubbing credits.

[pasiphile]

hey out of curiosity for Doctor Who (which I used to live but stopped watching because I lost hope for it), what happened that fucked it up this time? I don't care about spoilers, I'm just curious about how Moffatt keeps ruining good things

Okay, so, I’m gonna try to sum it all up, but if at any poit you think wait what this makes no fucking sense, that might just be the episode rather than me not explaining coherently. 

So:

(cw: suicide, derealisation, dissociation. Seriously.)

Ep starts with the Doctor receiving an email with title “Extremis”. The screen then goes briefly static, opening theme starts playing like usual, and we’re up at the first scene, which is: a bunch of cardinals and the Pope, coming to the Doctor for help, because they don’t know who else to turn to. Apparently there’s an ancient text in the Vatican that used to have a translation, but the translation got lost after the sect who took care of the text committed mass suicide. Now, the text has been retranslated, but the translation’s gone lost again and everyone working on it has, again, committed suicide. So can the Doctor please come help? And why did they come to the Doctor? Apparently he got recommended by Pope Benedict the Ninth, who the Doctor describes as “a lovely girl” and “what a night”.

(Main offences: continuing the trend of the Doctor as basically Jack Harkness shagging his way through the universe; and using the fucking Vatican as the generic help-demanding damsels in distress. You know, I get already a bit miffed when they start using the Pentagon or the American President or Downing Street and portray them as fucking likeable and a bit helpless, but the fucking Vatican as the heroes?)

Next scene: Bill is taking a date home. A bit of haha-clueless-foster-mum as she tells off Bill for bringing a date home, then relaxes when she sees it’s a girl ‘cause obviously it’s not a date, then. Anyway, foster-mum (I think it’s her? No explanation whatsoever here) leaves and the girls go drink tea together. Bill’s date’s a bit nervous because “she’s not used to all this,” and Bill gives a lovely little speech about how “this isn’t anything yet if you don’t want it to be” and generally being full of reassurance and kindness and loveliness, well done Bill. She ends with “this is nothing to feel guilty about” - at which point the Tardis lands in another room in her house and the Pope comes storming in, talking in Italian. Bill’s date freaks out, runs to the other room, finds a bunch of cardinals in Bill’s bedroom and runs away in a panic. Bill, annoyed, tells the cardinals “they’re all going to hell”.

(Now, see, this would have worked for me if it was a thing they followed up on, like Bill being aggressively gay at the Pope and the Doctor choosing her side or something. But the way it’s played, it’s a gratuitous throwaway joke about religion and lesbian guilt, which, fuck no.)

The Doctor, Nardole (new sorta companion? idek how to explain him) and Bill go to the Vatican, where they’re keeping the text. The entrance to the hall of texts is a portrait of Pope Benedict IX, who turns out to be young and conventionally pretty and feminine. Doctor makes another flirty remark about her.

(THE DOCTOR IS NOT JACK FUCKING HARKNESS CHRIST FUCK)

 As they head to the secret room, they pass a strange glowy portal that briefly appears, then disappears. One of the cardinals stays behind to examine it, and as everyone moves on we can just see a creepy red-robed hand reaching through the portal for the cardinal - who is never mentioned again, nor does anyone feel like checking up on him. Anyway, they go to the cage where they keep the text, where they find a panicked priest - the last surviving translator, holding a gun. He panics and runs off, leaving behind his laptop, where they find he sent the translation of the text to CERN. CERN wrote back an email saying “Pray for us”.

(they use the fact that hard scientists revert to religion as a sign of how bad things are, but it’s just - stupid and heavy-handed and simplistic. Booh.)

Bill, Nardole and the Doctor discuss the text, the Doctor tries to send them away after the man with the gun. Bill says something along the lines of “we don’t even know if he’s still alive” - at which point we hear a bang, and the Doctor’s sensors give a “no life signals detected” warning for the guy. And there’s a line like “guess we know now”.

(suicide as a throwaway joke)

The Doctor convinces Nardole and Bill to go off exploring while he looks at the text. There’s a cringe-inducing moment where Nardole, the bumbling assistant, gives this meant-to-be-authoritative speech to Bill about how she needs to stay behind him for her safety. Bill is impressed and obeys, saying “Are you secretly a badass?” all admiring.

(Cringe. Ugh. There was something incredibly patronising about that speech.)

They find the portal, go through and find a round room full of glowy lights, with a circle of pillars in the middle and portals all along the wall. They head through a portal and end up in CERN, where they bump into a man in a white coat drinking from a bottle, who seems cheerful in a desperate way. He invites them along and they end up in the dining room, where a bunch of other scientists are all sitting looking scared, and a timer counts down from five minutes. Bill looks under the tables, where bombs are strapped. She gets into a discussion with one of the scientists, who tells her they’re killing themselves to save the world, that this isn’t the real world, and when she doesn’t believe him, he asks her to say a random number. Each time Bill says a number, Nardole says exactly the same number at the same time, and after the first few tries the rest join in, each time giving all the same numbers. The scientist calls it a shadow test. With only a few seconds left on the timer, Nardole drags Bill away. They run off, and the scientists get blown up.

They end up in the round room with all the portals again, where Nardole says the pillars remind him of projectors. He realises what the shadow test is for, saying it’s possible the people at CERN where right and that they are just a projection - but he doesn’t understand, because he checked the coordinates on the Tardis and they were real. Unless...  Then Nardole, with an expression of pure fear, muttering please let me be wrong, walks slowly to the pillars/projectors. As soon as he puts his hands beyond the projectors, he starts falling apart in pixels, screaming in terror I’m not real, Bill! I’m not real!

(do I... do I even need to explain how disturbing this is?)

Bill, in a panic, goes to find the Doctor. The Doctor has started to read the text but got interrupted by scary monsters in cardinal robes, who tell him when he yells this isn’t a game,  “this *is* a game”. But the Doctor escapes, with the text. Bill follows his traces through a portal which leads to the Pentagon, and the Oval Office, where the Doctor is waiting and someonelse  eis sitting with his back to us, slumped in a chair. “Is that the president?” “Was the president.” There’s a gun next to him.

(I lack the words, tbh)

The Doctor then finally explains. The text talks about how an Evil Monster wants to conquer the world, so it creates an exact holographic simulation copy of the real world to practice in, full of simulation-versions of real people. But the simulation is so good that the simulated people start developing independent intelligence. The people at CERN and at the Pentagon were simulations; their suicide wasn’t desperation but an act of resistance, preventing the Evil Monster from learning from them. The shadow test is mentioned in the text too; computers aren’t good with random numbers, so one test to see if you’re a simulation or not is to write down what you think are random numbers, then see if someone else got the exact same numbers. Bill, scared, says she gave the same numbers as the others too. The Doctor says I know, and Bill, terrified, dissolves into pixels. The monsters then come back in (they’re properly scary, btw, look like decomposing corpses) and tell the Doctor that he can’t do anything, that they’re keeping him alive to learn from his suffering. The Doctor almost gives up, then remembers something River once said (real goodness is goodness when there’s no hope, no reward and no witness) and he - somehow - sends an email with the entire recording of everything that happened since they went to the Vatican to the real Doctor (he was wearing his sonic sunglasses the whole time because he’s blind - long story, but they recorded what happened). 

Screen goes to static, and we’re back at the very first scene, with the Doctor receiving the Extremis email and looking at it. He calls Bill, asks her if she’s on a date - she’s not - and then encourages her to call up the girl from the date, even though Bill says she’s way out of her league, because Something big and evil is coming and we’re going to be very busy soon. Roll credits; writer: Steven Moffat.

There’s also a sideplot with Missy being executed, only the Doctor backs out of the execution at the last moment and instead locks her up in a vault for thousand years which he vows to protect. Missy begs for her life and calls the Doctor her friend, and at the end of the episode the Doctor leans in to the vault and asks for her help. Horribly out of character, in short.

So. Plotwise? Bollocks. Really. Nothing makes sense. A simulation complex enough to mimic the entire history of the Earth can’t do random numbers? (it’s the same trick he used in a Christmas Special, btw, where it was a Dream Test - originality is not Moffat’s strong point). Some people have to kill themselves, while others just dissolve? How does a simulation send an email to a real person? etc etc.

Then there’s the implications. The whole thing is steeped in derealisation, suicide is fucking everywhere and actually treated as a solution, the Vatican and the Pope are cuddly allies and religion is everywhere. I didn’t see the end of the credits but I do fucking hope they put in the usual helpline-thing the BBC adds after showing triggering content.

We’re right back at the worst of Moffat’s last few seasons. For five episodes we’ve had villains who turned out to be not actually evil but simply the victim of severe misunderstanding; we’ve had curiosity and wanting to help as the Doctor’s main motivation; we’ve had explicit pacifism; we’ve had enemies that basically come down to “capitalism”, “racism” and “the patriarchy” (no, really, I swear). 

And now, it’s another generic Big Evil Monster, it’s throwaway gay jokes with no follow up, and it’s arguably the most fucked-up underlying message I’ve ever seen in a Doctor Who episode. I mean, I thought the billion-years-of-repeated-torture was an unbeatable high in making me feel disgusted and uncomfortable, but I’ve never been as grossed out as I was during this episode.