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[btssavedmylifeblr]

Everybody wanna love you - Pt. 2 (M)

Summary: BTS gets drunk and reads fan fiction together.

Pairing: Platonic OT7

Genre: Ridiculously filthy smut and boys being boys

Word Count: 4621

Warnings: The fan fiction the boys read is quite explicit, but the boys stay (mostly) platonic.

A/N: All of the fan fiction the boys read in this is written (badly) by me. Any resemblance to other people’s stories is coincidence. I am not trying to make fun of anyone other than myself as an avid reader and writer of BTS fan fiction.

Part One     Part Two    Part Three

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“Why are we doing this?” Yoongi asks as he passes around shot glasses to the table, filling Jin’s glass with soju before handing the bottle over to Jungkook to fill everyone else’s, then heading back into the kitchen for snacks. 

 “They need to know!” Jin shouts after him from the head of dining table, gesturing at the three youngest who are sitting together at the other end. Jungkook is busy pouring shots for everyone, delighted at being included in both the drinking and the risqué discussion. Taehyung is twirling his glass on the table and Jimin is frowning down at his empty glass, waiting for Jungkook to fill it. 

 “Why do they need to know?” Yoongi calls from the kitchen, pulling down a bag of chips from the top shelf of a cupboard and pouring some into a bowl for the table. 

 “They need to know how weird it gets!” Jin shouts back, laughing. 

 “I don’t want to know how weird it gets…” Jimin whines, head collapsing onto his arm which he has stretched across the table as he holds out his glass to Jungkook.

Hoseok has returned from his bedroom with his laptop and situated himself on Jin’s right side, chuckling to himself as he pulls up the fansites he’s familiar with. Taehyung leans across the empty seat next to him to see what Hoseok’s looking at. Taehyung’s eyes widen as he stares at the contents of the computer screen. 

 “Eh-hmn…” Yoongi clears his throat behind Taehyung, who startles and then quickly slides out of Yoongi’s designated seat next to Hoseok. 

 “Isn’t Jungkookie a little young for all this?” Taehyung teases, ruffling Jungkook’s hair as he scoots in next to him to make room for Yoongi and the bowl of snacks. 

 “Hey!” Jungkook objects, squirming out from under Taehyung’s hand, and gathering up his glass of soju protectively. 

 “He’s starring in it, Tae!” Jin says in a voice of barely contained laughter, smacking the table in emphasis. 

 “Plus…” Namjoon chimes in, leaning across the table from his seat on Jin’s left. “How’s he supposed to go out and get laid in the future if he can’t even handle reading about it?” Namjoon raises his glass of soju to Jungkook across the table. Jungkook raises his glass right back, giggling to himself.

 “You know that fan fiction is terrible advice for both relationships and sex, right?” Yoongi replies, raising his eyebrow at Namjoon in concern.

 “Yeah…” Namjoon nods. “But it sure is entertaining!”  Namjoon and Jin both burst into laughter and Jin wraps his arm around Namjoon, muttering something the younger boys can’t hear and chuckling conspiratorially.

 “You two really are the biggest perverts…” Jimin says, gesturing at their leader and their eldest member together before downing his glass of soju. 

 “Yah!” Jin shouts, hands on his hips. “No drinking before your elders!”

 “Sorry hyung…” Jimin mutters, holding out his glass to Jungkook for a refill. 

 “Why are we the biggest perverts?” Namjoon asks Jimin.  “Yoongi-hyung and Hobi have read it too!” He gestures at the two men across the table from him who are engrossed in something on Hoseok’s laptop. 

 “No, no, no…” Yoongi replies, looking up and shaking his head. “Don’t drag me into this. Jin-hyung is clearly the instigator here…”  

 “I’m just trying to educate!” Jin huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, but still grinning ear-to-ear. 

 “Fine… let’s settle it then.” Hoseok interjects, trying to bring the group make to the main point of this evening: traumatizing the maknaes.  “Each hyung gets one story. Whoever’s the biggest pervert wins.” 

 “What do we win?” Yoongi chuckles. 

 “Shame, guilt, and a sign you should rethink your life…” Jimin answers.

 “Well, that hardly seems worth it…” Namjoon scoffs, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. 

 “I’ll do their laundry for a week!” Jungkook shouts, already two shots into the soju that he keeps sneaking whenever Jin isn’t looking.

 “You already do all our laundry anyways…” Namjoon teases and Jungkook pouts.

 “I’ll… uhh…” Jungkook racks his brain for a better bribe. “I’ll buy you lamb skewers!”

 “See?” Jin says to Jimin, gesturing at the overly excited maknae at the end of the table. “The boy wants to know!”

 Jin looks back to Hoseok. “I’m in.”  

 Hoseok looks to Namjoon and Yoongi. 

 “Yeah… me too.” Namjoon nods. Yoongi grunts in assent. 

 “Excellent!” Hoseok grins. “I have a good one…”

 Wednesdays are Jungkook’s favorite day of the week. If any of his friends asked why, Jungkook would tell them it’s because he has no morning classes and can enjoy a leisurely latte over his study materials. But the truth is that Wednesdays are Jungkook’s favorite day because Wednesdays are the day that Jimin works the morning shift. Jungkook would be lying if he said that the two minutes he gets to exchange small talk with the gorgeous pink-haired barista weren’t the highlight of his week. 

 “Wait…” Jungkook interrupts. “I’m gay?”

 “Yup.” Hoseok nods, trying not to laugh at how quickly the youngest already has questions. 

 “And I have a crush on Jimin?” Jungkook asks, looking quickly at actual Jimin and then looking away just as quickly.

 “Apparently…” Hoseok shrugs, before pressing onward with the story. Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek, more questions brewing. 

 Today is probably the best Wednesday Jungkook has had in a month. Jimin not only remembered Jungkook’s name, but also Jungkook’s regular order. Jungkook wishes his regular order was something manly like a red eye or a café Americano black instead of the café mocha with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings that was sitting in front of him now. But his regular order has been his regular order since long before the most beautiful man in the world started working here. 

Jungkook has also triumphed today by arriving early enough to lay claim to his favorite comfy chair. Jungkook would argue that it was his favorite because it was a particularly fluffy and soft, not because it happened to allow him the perfect view to watch Jimin’s butt jiggle whenever Jimin turned to work the espresso machine. 

 “Fan-fiction drinking game!” Jin shouts, raising his glass in the air. “Take a shot whenever they talk about Jimin’s butt!” 

 “Yes!!” Namjoon laughs, clinking his glass to Jin’s before they both down their shots.  

 Jimin folds over onto the table, face is hidden from view by his hands, no doubt flushing a bright pink. “Fuck me…” he whines into the table.

 “I think Jungkook’s going to…” Namjoon says and the whole table roars in approval.

 Hoseok cackles, smacking the table over and over as he laughs and Yoongi raises his glass to Namjoon in props. Taehyung sticks his tongue in his cheek and shakes his head, before downing his shot. Jimin peaks out from behind his hands to roll his eyes and grab another drink, and Jungkook begins giggling so hard that he nearly falls out of his chair, whole body doubled-over in laughter.

 “Let’s find out, shall we?” Yoongi eggs Hoseok on. 

“God, you are so obvious…” A deep voice interrupts Jungkook’s day dreams.  

Jungkook is startled from his dazed worshipping of Jimin’s backside…

  “Drink! drink!” Jin chants, downing his shot glass. 

 Hoseok pauses the story and everyone drinks. 

 “Erhm…” Hoseok coughs and clears his throat after the shot. “Maybe it should be a sip for every mention of Jimin’s butt…”

 “No way!” Jimin slams his hand down on the table, feeling bolder now that he has two shots of soju in his system. “My ass is worth a full shot!”

 “That’s my boy!” Namjoon laughs, slapping Jimin hard on the back and pouring him another. 

 “Ahem!” Hoseok calls for attention and restarts.

 Jungkook is startled by his blonde shaggy-haired best friend plopping noisily into the empty seat across from him and blocking Jungkook’s view. 

“I would think you would have learned to be subtler in your stalking.” Taehyung teases when Jungkook huffs in annoyance. “What with all the practice you get…”

“Shhh!” Jungkook panics, looking over at Jimin to see if he heard anything, but the barista doesn’t seem to be able to hear anything over the roar of the espresso machine.

“Oh relax…” Taehyung scoffs, sticking a finger into the middle of Jungkook’s whipped cream and scooping up a large dollop before depositing it into his own mouth and sucking noisily on his finger.  

“Hey!” Jungkook shouts. “Go get your own!” He grabs his mocha and yanks it out of his best friend’s reach. “I don’t know where your fingers have been…”

Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Only Hobi does…”

“Ugh… gross.” Jungkook frowns down at his mocha as images of Tae’s hand halfway up Hoseok’s ass come unbidden to his mind.

 “Euuggghhhhhhhh…” A uniform chorus of groans sounds from everyone at the table and Hoseok pauses to take another sip of soju.

 Hoseok looks over to check on Taehyung and discovers that Taehyung has hidden his entire head inside the neck of his shirt. 

 “You okay Taetae?” Hoseok asks. 

 The headless shirt nods at him and holds up his shot glass in solidarity. 

 Hoseok swallows to clear his throat and continues.

 Jungkook shoves his mocha back at Tae. “You owe me another…”

“Okay… okay…” Taehyung nods, standing back up. “Gives me an excuse to chat up the bartender with the spank-able ass …”

 “Drink! drink!” Everyone jubilantly chants, then downs another round. 

 “Wait…” Jungkook coughs as he recovers from the shot. “We’re all gay?” Hoseok nods in confirmation. Jungkook purses his lips in thought.

 “Doesn’t seem very realistic does it?” Namjoon says, swirling his soju. 

 “Well, duh…” Jimin responds. “None of us are gay…” He looks around the circle eagerly for confirmation. Jungkook nods at him, but the others all seem lost in thought. 

 “Well, statistically, one or two of us might be…” Namjoon replies, still swirling his alcohol and staring into space. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Love is just love, you know?”

 The boys glance around the circle at each other. Jin stares at Namjoon, who continues to swirl his soju. Yoongi’s eyes flick over to Hoseok to find Hoseok watching Jimin closely, but Jimin is also starring Namjoon, mouth open slightly. Taehyung is still hiding inside his shirt and Jungkook makes himself busy peeling the label off the soju bottle, not making eye contact with anyone.

 “But it’s highly improbable that all of us would be gay.” Namjoon adds, shaking his head and looking up from his glass. Everyone else exhales at the same time.

 “Didn’t girls write this?” Jungkook pipes up. 

 “I think so…” Hoseok answers. 

 “So why do they want us to be gay?” Jungkook asks. “Doesn’t that mean we’re less likely to hook up with them?”

 “I have a theory!” Namjoon sets down his glass and leans forward. “Most of our fans are girls, right?”

 The circle of boys nods in agreement. 

 “So…they don’t want to read about us hooking up with other girls. It makes them jealous. They want to imagine it’s them. That’s why they write that terrible ‘you… you… your name here…’ shit.”

 The circle continues to nod, following along with their leader. 

 “But!” Namjoon holds up a finger. “If you want to write real fleshed-out characters, you need protagonists with names and physical descriptions. So, they make us gay! Then we can hook up with each other and no one gets jealous.” Namjoon smiles proudly at his explanation.

 “I have a theory…” Yoongi interrupts. “Ever watch porn with two women in it?” Yoongi directs this question at the maknaes, but the whole circle nods in response. 

 “It’s like that.” Yoongi laughs and takes another drink. The boys laugh. Hoseok claps his hands. Namjoon frowns. 

 “Can we get back to the story now?” Taehyung asks from the inside his shirt. 

  “His name is Jimin” Jungkook retorts. 

“Good to know…” Taehyung smirks and heads for the counter. Jungkook pretends to be absorbed in his calculus book but can’t help watching in worry as Taehyung approaches the counter. Jungkook knows Taehyung would never cheat on Hoseok, but he is still jealous of Taehyung’s easy confidence. Tae probably hasn’t showered in three days and definitely just threw on a random assortment of clothes from his bedroom floor, but he’s still the most gorgeous man in a 5-mile radius (pink-haired baristas excluded). 

Taehyung’s head finally reemerges from his shirt, beaming proudly.

 “Well, hello Jimin…” Taehyung coos in his deep voice, leaning in casual elegance against the counter. “Or can I call you gorgeous…” 

“Ack!.. Bleckk…” A chorus of gagging sounds erupts as the entire table cringes in unison.

 Jimin covers his mouth with hand and breathlessly giggles as Taehyung leans further across the counter and Jungkook pouts into his contaminated mocha. He should have just drank it, Hobi’s ass juice be damned. 

“Eauuuggghhh......”

 Taehyung continues the flirtation for much longer than is necessary to order a new coffee. He puts in the order and Jimin’s eyes flick over to Jungkook. Jungkook quickly stares down at his textbook. Finally, Taehyung returns. 

“What is the matter with you?!” Jungkook hisses when Taehyung finally sits back down. “You are practically married! What are you doing flirting with the potential love of my life?!”

The sad truth of Jungkook’s life was that all his friends had settled down now. One of the drawbacks to being the youngest. Taehyung had Hoseok, Namjoon had Yoongi and Jungkook was all alone. 

  “Wait just a second!” Jin interjects. “Where am I?”

 “Uhh… I don’t know…” Hoseok frowns at the computer screen, scrolling frantically.

 Jin frowns and sips his soju.

 “Here you are!” Hoseok finds something and points to his computer screen. “You’re the manager of the coffee shop.”

 “Do I have sex with anyone?” Jin leans over to see the computer screen too. 

 “Umm…” Hoseok skims the page. “You awkwardly hit on Jungkook which causes Jimin to realize his true feelings…” Hoseok explains as Jin squints at the computer. “But umm… no. You don’t have sex with anyone.” 

 “What the hell?!” Jin throws his hands into the air.

 “I’m still confused about why they want us to be gay…” Jungkook says, spilling some of his soju as he waves his hands in confusion.

 “I’m much more confused about why they want us to be baristas…” Yoongi replies. “Don’t they know we’re rock stars?” Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “Isn’t that sexier than making coffee for a living?”

 “Yeah…” Namjoon begins explaining again. “But they want us to be approachable, you know? Tell real life stories…”

 “Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Yoongi waves his hand dismissively. “If I’m going to read some elaborate fantasy about myself, I want to be a cowboy or an astronaut or something… Who gives a shit about what it would be like if Min Yoongi worked at Starbucks?” Yoongi pushes in next to Hoseok and takes over the computer from him.

 “Hobi!” Yoongi turns to Hoseok, pointing at the screen. “This story is rated teen! There isn’t any sex in it!!”

 “Oh…” Hoseok pouts.  “But there was all that talk about ass juice!”

 “You lose Hobi.” Namjoon shakes his head.

 “My turn to pick one, right?” Yoongi asks the group and they nod. Yoongi clicks back to the main page BTS fanfiction page and his jaw drops as he begins scrolling through page after page. 

 “My god...” Yoongi mutters. “How much of this shit is there?”

 “Forty-one thousand, two hundred and thirty-nine stories…” Hoseok answers, pointing to the top right of the screen. 

 “Holy shit…” Jungkook whispers and the whole table looks shocked.  

 “Forty-one thousand, two hundred and forty stories…” Yoongi adds as he clicks the refresh button.

 “Who has the most?” Jin interjects, peering over Hoseok’s shoulder. 

 “Jimin” Hoseok answers. Jimin hides his face in his hands again. “Jimin, then Yoongi.”

 “Yoongi?” Jungkook asks in surprise.

 “Suga fans are intense people.” Yoongi says, shrugging, smug smile on his face.

 “It’s just because Yoonmin is the most popular ship.” Namjoon interjects and Yoongi’s smile falters.

 “What’s a ship?” Jungkook asks Namjoon.

 “People you want to be in a relationSHIP.” Namjoon answers.

 “Like Taekook…” Taehyung adds, nudging Jungkook with his elbow and Jungkook nods in understanding.

 “But why Yoonmin?” Taehyung asks. “You guys almost never interact!”

 Jimin and Yoongi both shrug. But Namjoon interjects with an explanation again. “I think it’s the juxtaposition of gruff and dominating with small and caring that the fans like.”

 “Yoongi-hyung is only 1 centimeter taller!!!” Jimin shouts in frustration, banging his hands on the table.

 “I think it’s because we’re the sexiest.” Yoongi says. Jimin smiles and the two reach across the table to clink their glasses together in triumph.  All the other boys frown with various degrees of jealously on their faces.

  “Who has the least?” Jin turns back to Hoseok.

 “Umm…” Hoseok bites his lip, like he doesn’t really want to answer.

 “It’s me, isn’t it?” Jin frowns. 

 Hoseok nods. 

 “Waaahhh…” Jin sighs, shock on his face. “Why don’t more people want to write about me? I’m an excellent muse!” Jin preens and laughs as he sips his soju.  “I’m the eldest!” He insists. “I could be gruff and dominating!”

 “Have you met you?” Jimin laughs.

 “Yeah…Looks who’s talking ‘small and caring.’” Jin replies. Jimin opens his mouth to object, but Yoongi cuts him off.

 “I want to read that one!” Yoongi insists pointing to something on Hoseok’s computer screen. 

 “Really, hyung?” Hoseok chuckles and Yoongi nods. Hoseok slides the computer over so it’s in front of Yoongi and Yoongi begins reading. 

 Captain Black Suga was shockingly beautiful for a pirate.  

That’s all Captain Hoseok Jung could think as he gazed down at the man in chains on the deck of his ship. 

Suga was wet from his recent dive overboard, another failed escape attempt, and his dark hair clung to his forehead, droplets of water dripping softly onto the deck. The captain watched as a single water droplet rolled down the pirate’s forehead, wrapped around the curve of his cheek, and traced a meandering path down the pirate’s neck. Captain Jung secretly wished he could follow the path of the water droplet with his tongue. 

  Hoseok begins giggling uncontrollably. “Why did you pick this one hyung?” He asks.

 “I’m a pirate!” Yoongi gestures at the screen.

 “Or he wants to read a Yoonseok story so he can flirt with you, Hobi.” Namjoon adds, chuckling. Hoseok laughs and blushes.

 “I don’t understand why they won’t call us Sope…” Yoongi mutters before resuming the story.

 God… he was beautiful. Hoseok’s loins ached just looking at him. 

Black Suga was the very definition of temptation. His features were delicate, his skin shockingly pale for a man who had spent his whole life on the open sea. His small mouth was turned down in a slight frown. His thin pink lips parted as he panted, exposed pale chest rising and falling with each breath. He looked so soft and innocent, all wet and bedraggled, kneeling on the deck. But then his dark eyes flicked up to meet Hoseok’s and Hoseok felt like his very soul was on fire.

Perhaps that is where Black Suga got his name from, Hoseok mused. He seemed sweet like sugar, but then he could murder you and your whole crew without breaking a sweat, smile on his face. He was young, about the same age as Captain Jung and Captain Jung was the youngest captain in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy. Hoseok could only imagine the different twists and turns their lives must have taken from them to end up here, on opposite sides of the law. 

Hoseok watched Suga’s tongue lap tentatively at the drops of water still running down his face from his hair and daydreamed about that tongue wrapping itself around his cock.

 “Uhhh…” Yoongi pauses, shocked at what he just read. “Maybe we should find a different one…”

 “No way!” The rest of the table immediately objects, delighted in how uncomfortable Yoongi suddenly is.  Yoongi tries to press onward.

 God… Hoseok can only imagine how beautiful Suga would be staring up at him from his knees, fiery black eyes focused on him, mouth full of his cock.

 “Nope… I can’t do this...” Yoongi shoves the computer away.

 “I can!” Hoseok scoops up the computer, laughing delightedly, and keeps reading.

 Captain Jung really shouldn’t be thinking such things. Captains in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy weren’t supposed to think pirates were beautiful, especially not those pirates they were commanded to track down and put to death for their crimes against the crown. Probably shouldn’t fantasize about bedding them either. But one look at Suga and bending him over the starboard railing and fucking him for the whole ocean to see is all Hoseok can think about. 

“Hey!” Yoongi interrupts. “I’m the badass pirate! Why wouldn’t I be the one fucking you?”

 “The fandom has decided that I top in this relationship.” Hoseok teases.

 “But I’m older!” Yoongi rants, pounding his fist on the table, and laughing.

 “More! more!” Taehyung and Jungkook call in unison from the end of the table, delighted at how embarrassed their surly hyung is.

 Hoseok had never seen Black Suga this close before. The best he had seen of the man was glimpses of him standing proud on the bow of his ship, usually sailing away from whatever carnage he had left in his wake: burned and sinking ships, ransacked villages, and suddenly penniless merchant vessels. Always leaving Captain Jung to pick up the pieces. Hoseok felt like he had spent his whole naval career chasing Black Suga. Hoseok felt disgusted with himself that he finally had the man in his clutches and instead of seeking justice, all he could think was how much he wanted to fuck him.

“You bring me here just to stare at me, sweetheart?” Black Suga asked and Hoseok jumped, taken aback by the forwardness of the pirate.

Captain Jung knew what he had to do. There was no way around it. Hoseok wished things were different. He wished this man was someone who had joined the royal navy instead of choosing a life of piracy. He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining a alternate life where Suga was his first mate by day and his lover by night. But there’s was no reaching that now.

“Black Suga…” Hoseok unfurled the scroll in his hand and began reading out the death warrant signed by the governor. “You have been sentenced to death by her royal highness Queen Elizabeth I for your crimes against the crown and the British people. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Yoongi…” Suga said quietly. “Min Yoongi…”

“What?” Captain Jung paused.

“If I’m going to do die, I want to die with the name my mother gave me… not some dumb nickname.” The pirate frowned pensively at the deck.

 “He’s not going to die, is he?” Taehyung interrupts, hands clenched on the table.  

 “No…” Hoseok reassures. “It’s 27 chapters long. He can’t die in the opening chapter.”

 “27 chapters?!” Jin shouts.

 “Well… yeah! There are so many obstacles to their love!” Hoseok laughs as he elaborates. “They have to lust after each other for a while. Captain Jung has to discover that Suga is secretly a pirate with a heart of gold. Suga has to fall for the dashing captain and abandon his life of crime…”

 “We don’t have time for 27 chapters!” Jin objects.

 “Just a little bit more?” Taehyung asks.

 “Fine…” Jin takes another sip of soju.

 “Min Yoongi…” Hoseok repeated, making a note on the parchment of the pirate’s real name. “Do you have any last words?”

“Yeah…” The fiery eyes looked out past Hoseok’s shoulder, then straight back to the captain, as a dangerous smirk crossed Suga’s lips. 

“You might want to duck.” Suga laughed triumphantly, before rolling across the deck, perfect timing to miss the cannonball that went soaring past Captain Jung’s ear and crashing through the floor boards of his ship. 

Captain Jung whipped around to see the black sails of Black Suga’s ship, the Daegu Sun. Hoseok dived to the side to avoid another cannonball, screaming at his men to ready the cannons. 

Suga somehow escaped his chains and leapt up from the deck. He punched Hoseok’s first mate Jin in the face and stole his sidearm, before running across the deck to the edge of the bow. 

“See you later sweetheart!” Suga called out to Hoseok before grabbing part of the rigging and swinging across the water to his own ship. A larger part of himself than Hoseok would like to admit wished silently that he could board the pirate’s ship and sail away too, but he was a better man than that. 

Instead, Hoseok watched longingly as Black Suga greeted his first mate – a mysterious one-eyed man with purple hair who was known only by the initials RM – with an enthusiastic pat on the back. And then Hoseok watched with a dull ache in his chest as Suga greeted his cabin boy Jimin, planting the boy with an enthusiastic kiss and squeezing his butt possessively right in the open for Hoseok to see.

 “Drink! drink!” The table cackles at yet another mention of Jimin’s famous posterior.

 “Why?!” Jimin moans, face buried in his hands. “Why am I always the cabin boy?” Jimin slurs, way too many glasses of soju in his system.

 “What?” Hoseok asks, confused.

 “Why am I always the cabin boy?” Jimin moans again. “Or the barista? Or the slave? Or the stripper? Or the prostitute? Why?”

 “You said you never read them!!” Jin yells, smacking the table and laughing.

 “Yeah…” Jimin groans, shaking his head back and forth, but keeping his face hidden behind his hands.

 “Is this why you didn’t want to read it?” Namjoon laughs, patting Jimin on the back.

 “Yeah…” Jimin nods.

 “Oh Jiminie…” Hoseok chuckles. “We can find you a better story!”

 “But…” Yoongi begins to object, then bites his tongue. Hoseok taps just enough keys on the laptop to bookmark the page, smirking at Yoongi. Yoongi sees it and gives a small nod, clearing his throat and taking another sip of soju.

 Hoseok heads back to the main page and begins scrolling, looking for a story Jimin might be happier about.

 “Oh look!” Hoseok says when he finds one.  “In this one, you’re a robot!” Hoseok hands the computer across the table to Namjoon to show Jimin.

 “Like the Terminator?” Jimin drops his hands from his face as his smile perks up in interest.

 “Umm…” Namjoon frowns at the computer screen as he reads further. “Did the terminator have a vibrating dick?”

 “Fucking hell…” Jimin grumbles as the table bursts into laughter. Namjoon goes back to scrolling for another story.

 “Oh!” Namjoon pauses when he finds another. “In this one you’re a mermaid…”  

 “You mean a merman?” Jimin asks.

 “No…it says mermaid.” Namjoon tries hard not to laugh.

 “That’s it, I’m out.” Jimin declares, standing up from the table, and wobbling for a moment before turning to head for bed.  A chorus of boos and disappointed whines follows this announcement.

 “Wait!” Jin calls out to Jimin and Jimin pauses.

 “I know one where you’re in charge…” Jin says.

 “Really?” Jimin asks, turning back to the table.

 “Yeah…” Jin nods. “Gets pretty intense though…”

 Jimin pauses, mulling over his options. “What do you mean in charge?”

 “Umm…” Jin laughs, eyes darting around the circle of boys. “You spend a while punishing Jungkook and Tae for their disobedience…”

 Jimin grins. Taehyung and Jungkook both look at each other, eyes wide.

 “I suppose we could hear one more…” Jimin laughs and sits down. Jin grabs the computer from Namjoon and goes searching.

Part Three

[noona-la-la-la]

btsruinedmylifeblr replied to your post “I think fans need to chill out a little bit about their irritation at...”

Thank you for this!!! I wrote something similar earlier today and then chickened out before posting it. The other point people seem to miss is that these interviews aren’t meant for people who already know BTS. They’re meant for the interviewer’s usual audience who probably hasn’t heard of them and will have all these same dumb questions. You are always a voice of reason and I appreciate you!!

The one thing I’ve learned by being on Tumblr is that when I’m nervous about posting something... post it anyway.  People might disagree and there have been times I’ve been called a few nasty names, but in general, there is an audience of people who have the same point of view or are eager to hear someone coming from a different perspective.

[laraibsdrawing]

Lyrics on a plate💕 "BTS RUN" "FALL OUT BOY CHAMPION"

[landersova]

You’re 31?! Yay! I’m 30. It’s so exciting to find other adult fans on here. Especially ones who bias hobi and ship yoonseok!! I really love your artwork!!

Ahh, hello friend! Yess, I always get excited when I see someone around my age whee! And yes, especially with such a fine taste in bias and ship ;D Thank you so so much

[johobi]

btsruinedmylifeblr reblogged your post and added:

I came to tumblr this afternoon in desperate need...

I’m so happy you were able to find some solace in my writing, even in something as outwardly unlikely as Dig Deep. It is probably one of my most crack-like fics. But, yeah, it’s also the one with a world lore that I was the most into, so I’m kicking myself now for making it so short. It was only meant to be a Halloween drabble, and I felt lengthening it might be too much due to the nature of it. But people seem to have really taken to it and I’m so happy!! As you say, it felt like a bit of a gamble uploading something so divisive, but it is a more ‘wholesome’ example of the genre, which people seem to be into. I have a sequel planned for it at any rate, and it could go beyond just one, because I do really like the idea of the universe I went far too gung-ho on creating lol.

Thanks so much for your kind and generous review. I’m so glad you enjoyed it and it was able to take your mind off things for a little while. <3

[pen1ag0n]

I love your blog! You deserve much more appreciation! I just recently started following Pentagon and your blog is my favorite for updates and info. It has helped me learn a lot more about them (and finally find english subs for pentagon maker! Yay!). I have fallen hard for them and I really appreciate you! Thanks for being here!

thanks, have fun in the fandom :)

[hobies]

Hi! Just wanted to say that previous anon is wrong about Korean age. The day you were born doesn't matter for Korean age, just the year. You are 1 when you are born and everyone ages up at the New Year. This is why Tae and Jimin are considered the same age - both born in '95. They are both 23 Korean age and will be until Jan 1st, when they will both become 24 Korean age. Yoongi and Jin are considered different ages (25 and 26) because Jin was born in '92 and yoongi in '93. Love your blog!

thank you! 💕 Oooo this is what I thought and was always told too, but I also understand if traditions run differently even within the same culture. thanks for clarifying!

[tayegi]

I really enjoyed new rules!! I'm really excited to see where it goes. I went and listened to that hidden brain podcast and now i'm reeeeaaalllly eager to see where you take this. I loved the slow reveal of her emotions as the story went on. At first it didnt really seem like a fic you would write, but now I suspect you have a plan and I'm so excited to see it!

YOU KNOW ME SO WELL BB!!!

yeah there are so many fics where theyre fuck buddies and the guy is a huge player who doesnt want to get attached but uh oh he somehow catches feelings and i feel like that’s nice, but a bit cliche and i wanted to show a different perspective... ah im rambling but youll see what i mean in a few chapters :) 

[jungkookienoona]

Whether its the full chapters or links doesn't really matter to me, whatever you prefer. I just wanted to emphasize that thinking of it as "AO3 vs. Tumblr" is the wrong way to think about it. Both are promotional tools that get your work out to people. If you want the most people to see it, use both. Remember most readers are totally silent on both sites, so just because they respond more on one doesn't mean there's no point to posting on the other.

I was about to respond and then I remembered my laptop was still set to Korean ㅎㅎ 

We’re thankful that you’re offering helpful info but we can’t help but feel that the is a difference between reader behaviours on the sites. At the end of the day there is still time left for things to change. We’re just putting our thoughts out there (though pessimistic) and planning for worst case scenario.

[bulletproof-dork-boys]

@btsruinedmylifeblr​ prepare for deTAEnation. (@fulgurite​ LOOK AWAY)

[btssavedmylifeblr]

You have an ao3? What is it?

Yes! I cross-post all my works there in case people have one site they prefer using over the other. I was actually posting on AO3 long before I made a Tumblr. All the works are the same between here and there though.  

It’s bts_ruined_my_life.

[noona-la-la-la]

I'm here to be controversial and cast my vote that Jungkook and the OC don't end up together in the Fitting. The pain and angst is so real and the obstacles between them so large. Don't get me wrong, I really want them to be together. But it just feels like the story has been building to the opposite conclusion. Either way I'm looking forward to it so much and know it will pack one heck of an emotional wallop whenever you get there. Love everything you write!

We’ll see!

I love the word “wallop”.  I need to use that word more often.  I’m adding it into the list of words I need to work into a fic at some point.  So far it’s a list of two words:  wallop and schlong.  I feel like it belongs in a Jin fic.  Something like “Jin walloped you in the face with his schlong.”

Lol!

[currentlyinapickle]

For B! @btsruinedmylifeblr I Need U era J-Hope #btsfanart #watercolourandink #watercolour #hoseokfanart #hoseok

[solastia]

Weekly Reading Suggestions

Shall I keep doing this weekly? Let me know. Also, feel free to send in any suggestions for stuff for me to check out or include in the next one. 

1. First, I have to tell you to read everything by soobadnoonecanstopher. I’ve enjoyed just about everything on there. I have a special soft spot for the Baek fic I Give Up though. So GOOD, and I’m still sad that it’s over. They have a couple Kyungsoo fics I’m pretty fond of too.

2. If you’re down with smut, bts smut galore is the place to be. I’m very fond of Forbidden right now, and I think there should be more Hobi smut in the world. He just screams sex god to me. 

3. sindrafalcone has great BigBang fics. I’m currently loving the Poly fic. There is smut afoot, so be of legal age. 

4. If you’re struggling like I am (can’t we make things a little easier? was a great Jungkook/Noona fic that had me in tons of feels. 

Blogs Mentioned:

@soobadnoonecanstopher 

@btssmutgalore

@sindrafalcone

@btsruinedmylifeblr

Happy Reading! 

[awesomeee19]

20 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @btsruinedmylifeblr . Thank you for tagging me😊😊😊 this is my 2nd time being tagged in one of these Rules : answer the 20 questions and tag 20amazing followers you would like to get to know better! 1. Name: I’m not gonna post my name 😅😅😅 2. Nicknames: Akie 3. Zodiac Sign: Aries♈️ 4. Height: 165 cm 5. Orientation: Sophomore in high school that’s a twin to a boy👍👍 6. Ethnicity: just an extraordinary black girl 😜😜😜 7. Favorite Fruit: 🍇 8. Favorite season: I would pick summer all day everyday!!!! I know the word hate is a very strong word to use, but I really HATE winter…..I don’t like the cold 9. Favorite book: 1984 by George Owen 10. Favorite flowers: Sunflower 🌻 ( I took a playbuzz quiz on “ What Type of Flower Are You?” And I got 🌻 11. Favorite scent: coco butter and the scent of warm washed clothes 12. Favorite color: Black and Red ( sorry gotta have 2 h 13. Favorite animal: polar bear 14. Favorite beverage: some nice cold strawberry lemonade 15. Average Hours of sleep: I guess I usually get about 6-8 hours of sleep on weekdays and 9-11 hours of sleep on weekends. 16. Favorite fictional characters: Staz Charlie Blood, Braz Daniel Blood, Rock Lee, Fushimi Saruhiko, Yata Misaki, Tokaku Azuma, Tobi ( obito uchiha ), and Kyouko Machi 17. Number of blankets you sleep with: 2 18. Dream trip: Tokyo Japan, I want to go to Akihabara. I also want to go to South Korea, but I don’t want people to think I went there because I like Kpop. I want to learn their culture respectively ( I hope that makes sense😶😶) 19. Blog created: somewhere the last 2 years in August 20. Number of followers: 44, but if I combine all of my followers together from my other blogs, I have 93🤔🤔 I would tag some of my followers, but I’m not sure if they would like that or not…….so if one of them sees this———> I tagged you🤝✌️👻

[tayegi]

After reading nerves my life is complete. I love when smut includes humor I literally LOL'd at everything tae said to OC he is so ridiculous

Anonymous said:omg im studying then my phone beeps with your notif and BAM YOU DROP NERVES! I’m so fucking tempted to read yet another marvellous work of yours. I don’t even need to read it to know that it’ll be amazing, just because you’re the one who wrote it. Just wait until tuesday night fam, then I’ll read it and spam you with thoughts, theories and compliments. You just wait. On the other hand, it seems to be a long work, so please rest now that you’ve posted it, it must’ve been though to create. ily

Anonymous said:WOWOWOWOWOWOW tht fic was pure art😍 ur honestly one of my fav writers. Ty for blessing all of us with ur amazing skills❤️

Anonymous said:I absolutely LOVE your new fic and appreciate all the work you’ve put in it! I’ve always took the view of Tae’s mannerism changing before or during sex and you’ve portrayed that in such a great way, I’m just speechless. Btw, I freaking SCREAMED when Jimin came into the picture! The thing about your writing is that it’s so easy to imagine, it seems like a real occurance. So again, THANK YOU SO MUCH for putting out such amazing content! Have a great day💋

Anonymous said:hi love you - just felt like you needed some love ❤️

you-wont-mind-that-new-lady said:Okay so I really loved Nerves. The concept of it was actually really interesting, and there were so many funny lines in there (like their whole nerdy conversation in the middle of sex. pure gold). Like, yeah you said it was nonsense crack but it is gold nonsense crack and I really love it :D

Anonymous said:Don’t apologize man, that Tae smut was awesome

Anonymous said:Lu! I loved that scientist!tae fic! It was so amazing I could just read it over and over again and never get tired of it just like your other works! Thanks so much for writing stuff like this. It makes me happy when you write!

Anonymous said:Nerves had me dying, I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile! I had to re-read the period part just because it was so funny. It was super cute, Lu! I loved it😂💕

Anonymous said:I love you and I love everything you write and this scientist! Tae was perfection! Thank you for your hard work and dedication, Lu! -jarofjoonies

Anonymous said:my dreams have come true. thank you for writing scientist!Taehyung. i’m so happy and horny, words cannot describe.

Anonymous said:Thank you that is such a wonderful fic. It’s so fun and I can literally imagine TAE that way. Thank you so much!!

Anonymous said:You!!! Did!!!! That!!!!! Thank you!!!! 😻😻😻😻 I love reading everything you make ❤️

Anonymous said:Even your nonsense crack fics are a blessing. I loved it. When you’re truly a great writer, anything you write is gold. ♥️

Anonymous said:I loved Nerve, Lu! you’re such a spectacular writer amdnksbfmdmdnr

Anonymous said:Omg Nerves was hilarious! I was honestly wondering what was gonna happen if one of them masturbated and you actually included that in there I’m glad my questions were answered lmao but the sex scene was even more interesting. (The bonus sex Ed I actually really appreciate bc we really don’t get enough info on how sex for women works tbh) I can really see the amount of thought that went into this fic and how much you pay attention to details.

jediofthemarveluniverse said:Hi …. I just wanted to say that I really really enjoyed your latest fic. It was hilarious aswell as awesome. Urggg I love your crack fics. Also i apreciate the nerdy yet educational conversation about male and female orgasms. Thank you 😚😚

Anonymous said:Nerves was so good. Not only was there good smut but humour and proper education about the human body. Original as always Lu, thank you for such another good fic

Anonymous said:Aaaa lu!!!! Nerve got me feelin…well uhh…. my nerves? That sounded a lot better in my head…-Thank you for taking time out of your day to write this masterpiece!!! You’re a gift!!!

Anonymous said:Lu omg!! That new fic was amazing! Who knew humour and sex were a great combination?!

Anonymous said:hey lu!!! i’ve been a silent reader for a long time now and i should tell you that you’re my fav writer, i seriously love you so much, i love your style, i like how realistic your fics are without being cliche and boring,,,,anyway i hope you have a great day ^^ (btw nerves was awesome it was so hot and funny but also very educational?? i enjoyed it v much)

Anonymous said:Nerves deadass killed me in a good way multiple times lol. It’s like getting pleasure and learning new things all in one. Goodness, this one’s gold. 😂😂😂

Anonymous said:Hi! I’ve been a silent reader for quite some time now but I just have to tell you that I think you’re amazing. And also your writing is awesome and this scientist!au was fucking incredible and just wow. I love you????

Anonymous said:i absolutely love reading your fics! i think i have read them all by now!!! i love your work, you’re the best!!!

doughnut-crew-number-1 said:I just want to share two things with you. 1) thank you for blessing me with the absolute gem that was Nerves. I feel blessed to have experienced reading it thank you 2) that picture of hobi you reblogged of him looking cool af changed and saved my life That is all ❤️❤️

fueledbyrebecca submitted:OMGNerves…ho-ly-shit. So GOOD. Bless your soul.

bittersweetsaltyspice said:NERVES IS AMAZING! 🎉🎊

btsruinedmylifeblr said:Oh my gosh, nerves was so so good!! I especially loved the part where they nerded out about male vs. female reproductive anatomy. Had me cracking up! Thanks for writing it!

howthekookiecrumbles said:yo but really tho. i have never read anything as hilarious and sexy as Nerves. Bless you🙏🏻

jungfuckingkook said:I was giggling almost the entire time while reading Nerves…I don’t know how to say thanks so I am just gonna send a lot of heart eyes 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 I have accepted my fate as your follower..hahaha…love you and have a nice day😜😜😜

Anonymous said:After reading nerves my life is complete. I love when smut includes humor I literally LOL’d at everything tae said to OC he is so ridiculous

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! thank you for giving nerves love