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rispwr · 2 months ago

Text

Hate you - chapter 1 - J.JK

Pairings : ex! Jungkook x ex! Reader

Notes : finally here!! lowkey didn't get to my word goal:((

Genre : Ex2L, angst, slow burn, fake dating, slice of life, fluff, e2l, corporate rivals, smau, smut

Sypnosis : ‘You were always told that hating someone is the only way it doesn’t hurt but what if you can’t hate him? No matter how hard you try your heart will always find it’s way to his’

2 years after breaking up with your boyfriend of 2 years you were finally on your way to become the ceo of your family’s company your rival turns out to be your ex.

Contents/warnings :

Misunderstood break up, insecurities, mentions of self harms or mental health issues, jk is mean at the start, yelling, sensitive language or words, mentions of family trauma, corporate au, smart (both), mentions of yoongi x oc, mentions of cheating, soon to be ceo! Jk, soon to be ceo! Oc, oc is still named Y/n or {__}, corporate rivals?, fake dating, lack of communication, death of a character, mentions of suicide attempt, platonic relationships with other members

NSFW contents : specified in chapter

series masterlist

The question that lingers in my mind

Namjoon quickly made his way to your house, arms loaded with a tub of your favorite ice cream and a bag filled with your favorite go to alcohol or probably beer. He was your closest friend, practically a brother, and he always seemed to know how to comfort you when you needed it most. The familiar sound of his knuckles tapping against the door echoed through your silent apartment.

"Y/N! I'm hereee!" he called, his voice bright and cheerful, trying to cut through the heaviness of the moment.

"It's open! Just come in," you managed to reply, though your voice cracked, betraying the tears you had been trying to stifle. As soon as the door swung open, you felt a fresh wave of sobs building in your chest.

Namjoon rushed in, his expression shifting from playful to concerned in an instant. "What happened??" he asked, worry etched across his features as he approached your room.

You couldn't find the words, the emotions overwhelming you as you sat on the edge of your bed, crumpled tissues littering the floor around you. Instead, you just continued to cry, your heart breaking all over again.

"Do you want me to call Jungkook??" he offered, but at the mention of his name, your sobs intensified. The thought of hearing his voice was too painful, too fresh.

Namjoon paused, taking a moment to assess the situation. He knelt beside you, turning your head gently to meet his gaze. "Did you guys fight?" he asked softly, as if trying to piece together the fragments of your distress.

You shook your head, tears spilling down your cheeks. "Worse," you finally managed to reply, voice trembling. "Joon... he fucking broke up with me. He fucking—fuck. He dumped me."

The air felt heavy with the weight of your confession, and Namjoon's eyes widened in shock. "Why?? What happened??" he pressed, his tone a mix of disbelief and concern.

"Exactly... I don't know what I did wrong," you sobbed harder, the floodgates opening. "How can he just throw away our memories like that? And he has the fucking audacity to tell me to wait for him" Your words trailed off, and you buried your face in your hands, unable to contain the wave of sorrow crashing over you.

Namjoon instinctively pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a comforting embrace. "Hey, it's okay. Just let it out," he murmured, gently rubbing your back as you tried to cool down.

After a few moments, you pulled away slightly, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. "Let's go to a club later, Joon. Maybe I'll find someone better there," you suggested, the anger in your voice barely masking the hurt.

"No, Y/N. You are not getting knocked up or catching dirty diseases from filthy men in clubs," he replied firmly, though there was a hint of a smile at your reckless idea. "Let's just drink or hang out today, yeah?"

You considered it for a moment. "We can bring friends too if you want," he suggested, gauging your reaction.

Flashback

The moment you received Jungkook's breakup text, your heart sank. The message was blunt, cold, and devoid of any emotion—just like the man you once thought would love you forever. With shaking hands, you stared at your phone, disbelief coursing through you. After two years of shared dreams and plans, he had chosen to end things with a simple text. It felt unreal, like a cruel joke played by the universe.

You had to see him, to confront him. You couldn't let this end without hearing his voice, without understanding why. So you drove to his penthouse, each turn of the road amplifying the dread that clutched at your heart.

When you arrived, you barely registered the grandeur of his place—the sleek furniture, the breathtaking view of the city that had once felt like a backdrop to your love story. Instead, all you could think about was the weight of Jungkook's decision and the emptiness that came with it.

You stepped inside, the familiar scent of his cologne wrapping around you like a memory. Your footsteps echoed in the spacious hallway as you made your way to his room. You could feel your heart racing, a mixture of anger, confusion, and sorrow bubbling up inside you.

"Y/N... I told you we're done," Jungkook's voice was strained as he stood with his back to you, facing the window. His shoulders were tense, and he seemed unwilling to meet your gaze.

"Is that really how you're going to do this? You sent me a text. A fucking text, Jungkook! You didn't tell me anything." Your voice rose, a sharp edge of frustration cutting through the pain.

He turned slightly, just enough for you to see the profile of his face, marred by uncertainty and conflict. "Y/N... I need space, alright?!" The sudden snap in his tone took you aback, his frustration spilling over.

"Space? Why?" Your voice cracked, the gravity of his words sinking in. "What did I do wrong? Was I not enough?" Each question felt like a dagger, piercing through the thin veil of composure you had left.

"Was there someone el—" Before you could finish, Jungkook stepped forward, closing the gap between you in an instant. He grabbed your face with both hands and crashed his lips onto yours. The kiss was desperate, consuming, as if he were trying to devour you, to erase the reality of what was happening.

You melted into him, instinctively wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Your heart raced, conflicting emotions swirling inside you. But just as quickly as it began, he pulled away, breathless and tearful.

"Jungkook... baby, please, no..." you begged, your voice trembling as the tears you had been holding back began to spill over. "Don't do this to us."

"I think it's time we take a break, Y/N." His voice was softer now, but it carried an unyielding finality. "I'll come back to you once I'm all better and perfect for you. Hm?" He brought your face up gently, forcing you to look into his eyes, those familiar brown depths that had always felt like home.

You nodded silently, your heart breaking at the thought of being apart. The weight of his words crushed you, leaving you feeling small and defeated.

Minutes passed in silence, a heavy tension settling between you. It felt as if the air had thickened, each breath becoming a struggle as you both tried to navigate the emotional turmoil that had engulfed you.

"I just... I don't understand," you finally whispered, trying to process the whirlwind of feelings. "We were happy, weren't we? What changed?"

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair in frustration. "It's not that simple, Y/N. I don't want to drag you down with me. I need to figure things out... for both of us."

"But I want to help you! I want to be there for you!" you protested, tears streaming down your cheeks, mascara running down in dark streaks. "Why can't you see that?"

"Because sometimes love isn't enough," he replied, his voice strained with emotion. He stepped back, distancing himself as if he were afraid of the intensity of what was happening between you.

The moment stretched painfully, the silence growing heavier. You felt as if you were teetering on the edge of a precipice, unsure of how to step back from this chasm. You wanted to scream, to shake him and make him see reason, but all you could do was stand there, vulnerable and exposed.

"can you do something for me baby?" Jungkook said, his expression softening for a moment. "just- just wait for me. i'll be back once i'm all ready, better and fit for you. can you be okay with that baby?"

The thought of moving on without him felt unbearable. "How can you ask me that? How can you just walk away and expect me to be okay?" Your voice was barely a whisper, each word laced with sorrow.

"Because I love you," he said, and it felt like a knife to your heart. "And I don't deserve you. his is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, i'll be back once i finally deserve you."

The finality of his words hung in the air, suffocating you. It felt like the walls were closing in, and you struggled to breathe.

"I can't believe you're doing this," you murmured, feeling your heart splintering into a million pieces. "I thought we were in this together."

"Y/N... please," he said, his voice breaking slightly. He stepped closer again, his hands cupping your face. "I need you to trust me. This is what's best for both of us."

You searched his eyes, looking for any sign of doubt, any flicker of hesitation. But all you saw was resolve, and it shattered you. You couldn't fight against him anymore; it felt like trying to hold back the tide.

"Just... go," you finally said, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "If this is what you want, then go. But don't expect me to be here when you come back."

With that, you turned away, feeling like a ghost in the place that had once felt like home. The silence followed you as you walked out of his room, your heart heavy with the weight of your shattered dreams.

The drive back to your penthouse was a blur. You could barely see through the tears streaming down your face, mascara staining your cheeks. Each turn felt like a reminder of what you had lost. You replayed the moments you had shared, the laughter, the plans, the way he had looked at you with such warmth. Now, it was all gone—an illusion shattered by a single text.

When you arrived at your penthouse, the familiar surroundings offered little comfort. The walls felt like they were closing in on you, suffocating you with memories that now felt tainted. You dropped your keys on the table, the sound echoing through the silence.

You collapsed onto the bed, wrapping your arms around yourself as if trying to hold together the pieces of your broken heart. The emptiness inside you ached, a deep, gnawing pain that refused to let go. You could feel the tears coming again, an uncontrollable wave of sorrow crashing over you.

Why couldn't he see that you were enough? That you wanted to fight for him, for the love you had built together?

2 weeks

It had been two weeks since Jungkook broke up with you—two weeks of silence that felt louder than any argument you'd ever had. Two weeks without his messages lighting up your phone, his reassuring voice calling you just to check in, or his sweet words that somehow always knew how to soothe the deepest parts of you. The absence was a void, consuming and hollow, yet sharp at the edges, cutting into you with every reminder.

You missed the little things. How he would text you "good morning" without fail, his sleepy voice leaving voicemails if he couldn't reach you. The silly pictures he'd send to make you laugh on your roughest days, and his small, unexpected gifts. They'd come in glossy packages, ribbons you'd undo with eager hands only to reveal something so extravagantly expensive you'd feel your heart swell and your voice catch, telling him he didn't have to spend so much. But he would just smile, his hand resting gently against your cheek, saying, "You deserve to be treated for what you're worth. And you're worth millions... billions. So much more than that."

No amount of words had convinced him that you didn't need all those grand gestures. It was his presence, his love, that was priceless to you. He was what you wanted, all you needed. But now, without him, even those little things he left behind seemed like they were mocking you, a painful reminder of promises unkept.

Two weeks should have been long enough to let go, to start piecing together the shattered remains of your heart. You told yourself every day that it was time to move on, to forget. But your heart betrayed you every night as you lay in bed, reaching instinctively to the other side where he used to lie. The sheets were cold now, his scent slowly fading. And with each reminder, a thousand questions echoed in your mind.

Why was it so easy for him to leave? Why did he walk away so quickly while you were still drowning in the memories he left behind?

You took a deep breath, swallowing down the ache that rose in your throat. This wasn't healthy. You couldn't go on like this, holding onto fragments of a love that no longer existed. Standing up, you made your way to your closet, determination stiffening your resolve. If he could move on so easily, then so could you.

Opening the doors, you took in the rows of clothes neatly hung, interspersed with items that weren't yours—hoodies, shirts, and jackets that he'd left behind after countless nights spent together. You reached out, fingers brushing over a worn T-shirt of his, the fabric soft and familiar beneath your touch. You could still remember the last time he'd worn it, his arms wrapped around you as you lay in his embrace, your head resting against his chest, his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

But that was then. And now... now it was time to let go.

You started pulling his clothes out one by one, each article feeling heavier than the last. It was almost a ritual, each item you took out a small act of defiance, a reclaiming of the space he'd left behind. As the pile grew, so did the anger simmering within you. It bubbled up, breaking through the sadness, sharpening into something fierce and raw.

"Fuck you, Jungkook," you muttered under your breath, barely realizing that you'd spoken aloud. "For making me love you and then leaving me like this." The words tumbled out, each one laced with the bitterness that had been building up inside you.

With each piece you tossed into the box, the weight on your chest seemed to lessen just a bit. You threw in the hoodies he'd lent you on cold nights, the shirts you'd worn as pajamas, each one carrying the ghost of his touch. You wanted them out of your sight, out of your life.

Once his clothes were gone, you moved on to the other things—the little keepsakes he'd left behind. His toothbrush next to yours, his cologne bottle half-empty on the dresser, the small stack of books he'd borrowed and never returned. You swept it all into the box, each item feeling like a wound you were finally closing.

But as you finished packing everything, your hand brushed against something cold, and you froze. It was the necklace—the one he'd given you on that perfect night when he'd promised you forever. Your fingers trembled as you held it up, the delicate chain glinting in the light. You remembered how he'd clasped it around your neck, his fingers grazing your skin as he whispered, "This is my promise to you. I'm never leaving, no matter what."

The weight of his broken promise pressed down on you, and before you could stop it, the tears spilled over. You clutched the necklace tightly, the cool metal digging into your palm as you struggled to hold yourself together.

Why had he left? Why hadn't he fought for you, for the life you'd planned together? You'd given him everything, yet he'd walked away as if it meant nothing.

Your knees buckled, and you sank down onto the floor, sobs wracking your body as the pain you'd tried so hard to contain came rushing to the surface. You felt like you were drowning, lost in a sea of grief and anger and confusion. It was as if every part of you that had once been whole was now fractured, broken beyond repair.

In the midst of your tears, you fumbled for your phone, your fingers shaking as you scrolled through your contacts. Without thinking, you dialed Namjoon's number, needing the comfort of someone who understood, who could help anchor you in the storm of emotions.

The phone rang, and after a few moments, his familiar voice answered. "Yes, Y/N? Is everything okay?" His tone was warm, tinged with concern, and it only made the tears flow harder.

"Joon..." you choked out, trying to steady your breathing. "Why—why is this so hard? I just... I just wish there was something more I could hate him for. Something to make this easier, to stop myself from loving him..." Your voice broke, a fresh wave of sobs escaping as the words you'd been holding in finally spilled out.

"Oh, Y/N..." Namjoon's voice softened, filled with empathy. "He's an asshole for doing this to you, babe. You didn't deserve any of it. I'm so sorry." There was a pause, and then he added gently, "Want me to come over? I can bring some ice cream, or we can just sit and talk if you need."

For a brief moment, the thought of having him there was comforting. But you shook your head, even though he couldn't see it. "No... I'm alright. I just... I just needed to hear your voice," you murmured, the exhaustion in your voice evident.

"Okay," he said quietly, and you could hear the sadness in his tone, the frustration that he couldn't do more to help. "But if you change your mind, I'm just a call away. Promise me you'll take care of yourself?"

"Yeah..." you replied softly, the words barely more than a whisper.

Before he could say more, you ended the call, feeling a pang of guilt. Namjoon had always been there for you, a steady presence in your life, yet right now, not even his reassurance could ease the ache inside you.

You looked down at the necklace still clutched in your hand, your fingers loosening around it. It felt heavy, a tangible reminder of the promises he'd broken, the love that had once felt so real. Slowly, you unclasped it from around your neck, feeling a strange sense of finality as you placed it gently in the box, on top of everything else.

The last piece of him, gone.

flashback

Paris was like a living dream. The city's air felt soft, carrying the scent of fresh bread, blooming flowers, and that slight trace of romance found only here. Jungkook's hand held yours as you both strolled down cobblestone streets, the lights of the city casting a warm, golden glow on the world around you. It was your first anniversary, and Jungkook had insisted on making it memorable.

"The city suits you," he murmured, his eyes soft as they roamed over your face. You squeezed his hand in response, feeling so grateful to be here with him.

"It's... perfect," you breathed, taking in the architecture, the people, and, most of all, him.

That day, as you both wandered through Paris, something caught your eye in a small shop window—a necklace, delicate yet striking, in the shape of a butterfly. You stopped in front of it, drawn in by the design's subtle elegance. But you were careful not to linger too long, as you weren't one to ask for material things. Growing up, you were used to having everything handed to you without a word, and you always felt a tinge of guilt about it. It made you appreciate thoughtfulness over wealth.

Jungkook noticed the way your eyes lingered, though you quickly looked away. He smiled to himself, filing the moment away in his mind. You had no idea that he'd already decided on a plan.

That night, back in the hotel room, you were peacefully asleep after a long day. With your steady breathing as his only company, Jungkook slowly and carefully slipped out of bed, glancing at you one last time to make sure you were truly asleep. He moved quietly, slipping out the door and into the Parisian night, with a mission in mind.

Jungkook made his way back to the boutique. The shopkeeper, who was just about to close up, welcomed him with a knowing smile as he walked in.

"Changed your mind about the necklace, sir?" she asked, recognizing him.

"Yes," Jungkook replied, a hint of excitement in his voice. "I'd like it custom-made."

He explained his idea: the initials "K.Y." and "J.JK" engraved on the back, where only the two of you would know. The butterfly itself meant more to him than he could easily say; it was a symbol of transformation and new beginnings. Y/N had helped him see that change didn't have to be terrifying, that it could be a journey to something better. She was the one who had encouraged him to open his heart and embrace the unknown. In a way, she had transformed him. The necklace was not just a gift; it was his heart, crafted in gold, for her to wear close to hers.

after paying. he held the necklace in his hand, feeling a wave of excitement wash over him as he admired the initials engraved so delicately. He could already imagine your face when you'd see it, and he smiled to himself as he headed back to the hotel, hiding the box carefully before slipping back into bed beside you.

On the last night of the trip, Jungkook took your hand, guiding you to a spot near the Eiffel Tower. The sky was a rich, deep blue, and the lights of the tower illuminated everything around you, casting a golden glow that felt almost magical. You were mesmerized, feeling a sense of peace and happiness that only deepened with him beside you.

Jungkook stopped in front of you, letting go of your hand to reach into his pocket. "Close your eyes," he whispered, his voice warm.

You laughed, your heart fluttering. "What? You're not proposing or something, are you?" you joked, cheeks warming as you looked up at him.

"Not yet," he replied softly, his eyes holding a promise, "but close. I'll definitely do that one day, baby." His words sent a shiver through you, and you obeyed, closing your eyes as your heart raced.

"Okay, open your eyes," he said, a note of excitement in his voice.

You opened them, and there it was—the butterfly necklace you'd seen on the first day, resting in his open palm. "Oh my god...!" You squealed, your hands flying to your mouth. The necklace was even more beautiful up close, the delicate wings catching the light perfectly. You launched yourself at Jungkook, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. "I love you! I can't believe you did this!"

Jungkook laughed, holding you close and watching the pure joy on your face. "Look at the back," he said gently, guiding the necklace to face you.

You turned it over and gasped as you read the initials, your own and his, engraved into the back. The sight of it brought tears to your eyes, the meaning behind the gesture sinking in deeply. "Oh my god, baby..." You could barely speak, your heart full.

He brushed his thumb over your cheek, smiling softly. "It's a butterfly, like you, because you helped me through my fear of change. You showed me that change can be beautiful, that letting go and starting new... can lead to amazing things. You opened my heart to new beginnings, and the best beginning you gave me... was with you."

"Jungkook..." Tears brimmed in your eyes, and for a moment, all you could do was look at him, taking in every detail of the person who had become your whole world. You reached up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, then to his nose, and both his cheeks, making him giggle.

"I love you," you whispered against his cheek, "so, so much. Thank you for this—for everything."

back to present

As you closed the lid, you felt a strange sense of emptiness. The box sat there, filled with fragments of a love that had once been everything to you, and yet now, it was nothing more than a collection of memories you were desperate to forget.

For the rest of the night, you sat in silence, the weight of the loss settling over you like a heavy blanket. You wanted to hate him, to erase every trace of him from your mind. But no matter how hard you tried, his presence lingered, a haunting reminder of what you'd once had and what you'd lost.

I'll get over him, you told yourself, though the words felt hollow, as if you were trying to convince yourself of something that wasn't true. But maybe, just maybe, if you repeated it enough, one day it would be real.

3 months

The days blurred together after the breakup. Three months. For three whole months, you'd convinced yourself that this hatred for Jungkook was all you needed to numb the pain. At first, it worked, almost like a coping mechanism—every time you felt that ache in your chest, you would remind yourself of the reasons to be angry, to stay distant. But no matter how many times you reminded yourself of the anger, it was never enough to cover the emptiness, the loneliness that slowly crept in, hollowing out pieces of you.

You were isolating yourself from everyone who tried to reach you, pushing them away as if they were intruders. Namjoon had called and texted every day, and Jennie had stopped by repeatedly, but you never opened the door. Even Seokjin had come over with Sana to try and pull you out of this haze. Yet you felt too far gone. You loved Jungkook. Too much. And every time you thought of him, it felt like a fresh wound tearing open.

Then came that Thursday morning, the first rays of light slipping through your curtains, though you could barely feel them. You'd spent another night tossing and turning, haunted by memories of him. And something within you just... broke. You reached for the bottle of sleeping pills by your bedside, not thinking, just wanting the pain to fade. One pill, then two, then three, then more. You felt yourself drifting, the world becoming softer, quieter.

But the next thing you knew, you were waking up, blinking against the harsh fluorescent lights of a hospital room. It felt like a dream, surreal and hazy, until you began to focus on the faces surrounding you—your family, looking terrified and heartbroken, Namjoon with his head in his hands, Jennie crying softly beside him, and Seokjin gripping Sana's hand tightly. And then, your gaze landed on him. Jungkook was there, his eyes red and swollen, a look of devastation etched across his face. They were all worried sick.

The night before, Namjoon had wanted to surprise you with Sana. They'd brought over your favorite snacks and movies, hoping to lift your spirits. But when they arrived, your place was silent. Namjoon had called your name, but there was no answer. That's when they found you, lying on your bed, your hand loosely clutching the bottle of pills. Sana had screamed for him, her voice trembling and desperate. "Namjoon! Call 911! Please, I beg you!" She was sobbing as she held you in her arms, trying to shake you awake, her own heart breaking with each unresponsive second. "Y/N, please... please wake up!"

Namjoon's hands had shaken as he called for help, explaining the situation to the paramedics, his own voice cracking as he fought to stay composed. They both were crying, praying as they waited for the ambulance, the moments dragging on as they feared the worst.

Now, seeing you awake, a mixture of relief and heartbreak filled the room. But the silence was thick, tension brewing as everyone grappled with what had almost happened. It was Jungkook who broke it, his voice raw, trembling with both anger and hurt.

"Y/N, are you... are you insane?" he snapped, his fists clenched, his face a mixture of anger and fear. "Do you have any idea what you almost did?"

You felt your heart clench, the pain resurfacing, sharper now in his presence. "So what, Jungkook?" you replied bitterly, your voice shaking. "Why do you even care? You didn't care about my feelings when you decided to just leave me. You left, Jungkook. You left, and now you're acting like you care?"

The words spilled out before you could stop them, each one filled with months of pain and anger that had been bottled up. Jungkook opened his mouth, about to say something, but you cut him off.

"Leave, Jungkook. Just leave."

The finality in your words hit him like a punch. He froze, staring at you, his face contorted with hurt. Then, without another word, he turned and walked out of the room. The door shut behind him with a loud thud that seemed to echo through the silence, leaving everyone else frozen in place, tears streaming down their faces. Jennie clung to Seokjin, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs, while Namjoon looked at you, his own face wet with tears as he fought to hold himself together.

It was only then that the weight of everything you'd put them through hit you, the reality of how close they'd come to losing you. They sat in silence, each one lost in their own thoughts, grieving for the person they'd almost lost, the pain written across their faces as they struggled to find the right words.

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strawberrymatchawhore · 1 year ago

Text

exbf!jungkook x exgf!reader

“you wrap around me and you give me life… and that's why night after night i'll be lovin' you right”

summary- after seven long years of the breakup between you and jungkook, he randomly decides to show up and tries to prove that hes really a changed man.

warning/s- DUBCON. rough sex under the influence (both sides), hesitant y/n, choking, fingering, messy sex, lovebomb/confession, nutting inside (a/n also sorry for not posting for a while n this was kinda rushed soo i do apologize in advance LMAOOO)

you loudly groaned and smacked your hand around the couch to look for your phone, who the hell calls at this hour ? you took a hit of the joint youve been smoking for the past few minutes and then clicked the answer button.

“hello ??” you lazily say and roll your eyes and take another hit.

spam callers are so fucking annoying.

“y/n…” the voice says, it was deep and husky… even almost sounding like..

“huh ?!!! jungkook ??” the call abruptly ends until a loud knock can be heard from your front door. you get up confused and take a peak through the window and see your ex boyfriend leaning against the porch chair.

fuck what now

you open the door and take a second to figure out what to say.

“what are you doing here ?” you said in a monotone voice, trying to hide your interest as to why he decided to show up after so long.

“i need to talk to you y/n.. please.” he slurs gently pushing you aside to go inside your house, the smell of alcohol and expensive cologne accumulating from his body.

“jungkook..” you tried slowing his pace down and pushing his chest but he wouldnt budge.

“jungkook !! you cant just randomly show up to my house like this and expect me to welcome you with open arms !!” you dragged him to the couch and made him sit down you stood in front of him and examined his state.

“y/n you smoke now ?” he picked up the joint and tossed it back down.

“yeah that doesnt matter right now, why are you here ?”

“look.. i just wanted to say.. i just wanted to say that im sorry for everything that ive done to you in the past. i know words cant fix the damage ive done but after all this time i never forgot about you and i realized all of my faults.. i really really have changed for the better, and i hope you can let me back into your life again y/n.” he slurred, it was almost funny how desperate he sounded. like the roles of the past were now reversed.

you tilted your head, jungkook was never one to own up to his mistakes or even apologize. the sinking feeling in your stomach rises when he briefly mentions the past. but even drunk, maybe he really has changed. it has been 7 years. you stood in silence as jungkook made himself at home on your couch.

“look jungkook, its been a while im gonna have to think about it. and youre drunk, just lay there and i’ll get you some water. you can spend the night.” you softly said, damn it. he was good.

he nodded in response and you went to the kitchen to get water and meds, this also gave you time to collect your thoughts. you said you would think about forgiving him but could you really believe that he’s changed after the relationship you were in with him all those years ago ?

you put the stuff for him on the coffee table and sit down near him, trying to keep a distance. closing your eyes and opening slowly feeling the high more. you look over to jungkook and laugh. this didnt feel real at all.

he then sits up and scoots closer to you, leaning his body onto yours. his mouth was now near your ear and you could feel his hands gently massage your waist. he pulls you to his lap and you let out a low gasp from the sudden movement.

“jungkook. we really shouldnt be doing this…” you say using his thighs to try to get up. the grip he has on your waist tightens, almost bruising even. you wince and move around his lap more to try to get free.

“what do you mean ?” he lowly says he keeps one hand on your waist and massages it his other hand makes it way up to your neck and squeezes.

“you’re basically grinding on me.” he chuckled, you could feel his bulge pressing against you. you whine and dont respond. only the music playing from your tv could be heard. what situation did you just get yourself into ? he lets go and his hand slides down to your pj shorts touching the wet spot on your panties.

“s-stop.” you moan, sounding extremely unconvincing. the both of you knew that you were just saying bullshit, your legs basically open wider for him to continue further. his pushed your panties to the side and gently rubs your clit, and teases it before dipping a finger into your pussy.

“you sure you want me to stop ?” he adds another finger and speeds up, his palm stimulating your clit. you moan and grab his hand.

“…your pussy is just so fucking wet.” jungkook whispered in your ear. you know you shouldnt be enjoying this but you honestly missed him and wanted more. not that you would admit it. even though he most definitely knows by now.

“fu- all f’ you.” you mewl biting your lip, it felt too good.

“yeah all f’ me ? does it feel good baby ?” he teases nibbling your ear. you moan incoherent words and close your eyes.

“course it does just listen to how youre taking my fingers.” you could hear the wet slick sounds of his long skinny fingers going in and out of your pussy. his rings adding more to the package. you could feel yourself about to cum and jungkook slows down.

“you gonna cum ?” you whine and nod yes grinding on his hands to try to get back the lost stimulation. he removes his fingers from you and roughly shoved them into your mouth, you automatically suck and swirl you tongue them licking them clean of your juices. seems like you still have some muscle memory.

he guides you off his lap and maneuvers you face down ass up. giving him a full view of your ass, he gives a few hard smacks before you feel him move his tip up and down your pussy. already antsy and wanting more, you try to reach back and put it in yourself but he grabs your arms and pins them to your back, forcing you to arch it even more.

“uh uh youre not allowed to touch, just lay there and be a pretty little thing for me.” he says before pushing his dick inside of you. your mouth opens into a silent o and you push your hip against his.

“ah-h feels so good kookie.” jungkook leans forwards and uses your arms to thrust faster and harder. your ass bounces from the force.

“fucking missed this pussy.. missed you. ah- fuc-” he breathily whimpers, your moans synching with his.

“youre the only one that makes me feel like im enough and i- fuckkk- im sorry.. oh my- god.” he rambles and moans completely pussydrunk, your cream forming rings at the base of his cock. disappearing and reappearing with his thrusts. he lets go of you and rest his hands on your hips, guiding them towards his big cock.

“you got nothing to say y/n ?” he mocks knowing that youre fucked out, your head rests on the couch cushion and drool covers your chin. you could only moan in response, tears filled your eyes as you felt yourself about to cum.

“no-gonna cum ahh!” your eyes squeeze shut and you grip the couch, your body starts to shake and you expect jungkook to slow down. but no, this man is evil. in fact he speeds up and fucks you through your orgasm.

“jungkook.. jungkook thats too much !!” you whine and reach back to push on his abs. but he chuckles and grabs your arms again. lifting you up against his chest with one arm. the other wipes your tears and rests against your neck.

“gonna fill you up nice n deep.. wanna see that shit leaking from your tight pussy.” he squeezes your neck, if his arms werent holding you up. youd fall right down, the pleasure he was giving you was intense. he was fucking you stupid.

“fuck jungkook, please cum inside please please.” you could feel your second orgasm come when jungkooks first arrives with it. his thrusts gets sloppy but he tried keeping his pace. you were met with a warm sticky feeling inside you when jungkook gently lets you go.

“so pretty all filled up with my cum baby.” he coos and drags his leaking cum back inside you with his fingers. you whined from the overstimulation and he laughed in response. making sure all of it went back inside you, he leans next to your figure and brings you into the little spoon position.

“i love you so much y/n i promise to never hurt you again.” he kisses the top of your head and cuddles into you tighter. you dont respond and just lay back feeling your high come down. this was gonna be a long and hard night of thinking, who the fuck did you let back into your life ?

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #seven #seven jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #smut #jungkook fluff #angst #ex to lover #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #oneshot #jungkook oneshot #jungkook angst #jungkook au #au

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years ago

Text

Belong (01) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.2k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

Listen to: Boston by Augustana; Shelter by Luca Fogale || Playlist 🎶

A/N: Posting this today to celebrate People pt.2 and D-Day! Here’s a little piece I’ve had for a while. It felt fitting to write something about dreams and finding your purpose through Yoongi and at a time when I’m going through something similar. There’s nothing like his wisdom and his warmth so I hope this could mean something to you somehow. 💕 Please enjoy! And 🫡 to NBA Ambassador Suga! Now that’s his 🏀 dream in another form.

Present Day

There’s always something magical whenever you watch yourself on screen.

It’s not due to some narcissistic reason or an insatiable desire for the spotlight; it’s not even because you think you’re really talented. Sure, you like the attention and just like anyone who’s spent years of their lives perfecting their craft, you want to be pretty great at it, but all those thoughts become suspended whenever it’s your scene.

During these instances, it’s only about your character and her emotions, and that’s what you think is remarkable about it - watching yourself is just like being there, in that moment, on that set, feeling it all.

Most actors would say they love acting because it gives them a variety of roles and personalities to play. You like that bit, too, but it’s the character’s emotions that you commit yourself to the most; it’s being able to immerse yourself in the feelings of joy and anger, of contempt and fear, of envy and admiration, of guilt and love. You like the finiteness of it, that with acting comes the feeling, and you know at some point, it’s going to end.

Once the scene is over, so is the emotion; you’re able to let go of it right away with one breath. You’re good at that, you think - holding onto something for as long as it’s yours, and then letting it go when it no longer is.

The collective gasp of the people around you breaks your bubble only a little; you release a breath yourself as the last scene unfolds. And with the final shot and the succeeding transition to the end credits, you let go of the sadness.

“I can’t believe that only took one shot,” your best friend, Taehyung, says in awe. “I would’ve been crying already knowing how it ends.”

“Jin and I challenged each other,” you proudly say. “We said we’d do our absolute best for that first try and the director thought it was that good. Seriously, not crying until that last second was so hard; I didn’t think I could do it.”

The Kim Seokjin, your co-actor and good friend, looks at you from the other side of the couch with that soft and proud look that you only ever get from him once a project is over. You return the sentiment, knowing that you wouldn’t have survived your first lead role in a drama series if he wasn’t acting alongside you.

He’d been your senior at university where you both took your major in acting. He was already modeling then and snagged a major role in a movie right after graduation; he became a household name after that.

You watched from the sidelines as he achieved his dreams while you took the occasional 30-second roles given to the students, but he didn’t forget you. He called regularly to know how you were doing, gave tips when you asked, and informed you of upcoming auditions.

It was the type of friendship that challenged you, given that you both wanted to one day star in a series or movie together, a culmination of all the long hours of rehearsals and line-reading and classes that you both did. He had already made a name for himself; you wanted to be good enough to have yours be opposite his.

It would take a few years, but after a supporting role in a romcom movie that saw people wanting more of you, you and Jin finally got cast in a series about a mortal woman falling in love with a celestial being, which, at the beginning, reflected your respective statuses in the industry. You expected the show to do well - everything that Kim Seokjin touches turns to gold, as the saying goes - but you didn’t expect for the public to love you both as a pair as much as they do, given that they want you to star in another show right away.

“I cried as I turned around,” Jin says of the scene where he had to go back to his world and leave you behind. “That was heavy and even I’m impressed we did it in one shot.”

“Well, the sadness and grief would have dwindled by the third or fourth time,” you chuckle. “I’m not good enough yet to maintain all the emotions after so many takes.”

“Not that you aren’t good enough,” Jin counters. “You just haven’t been in the industry that long yet. That kind of experience makes a difference. I’d say I wouldn’t have been able to sustain the same emotion for long, too. It was a difficult one. I mean, what goodbye scene isn’t?”

It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but much of why it was difficult for you to keep the emotions in was because it was your first goodbye scene. You have a feeling that the succeeding ones wouldn’t be any easier, though. You’d like to think you’re okay with goodbyes and that says a lot, but then again, you don’t know anyone who’s actually good at it.

Or maybe you do. But you’d rather not think about it.

It’s silent for a few more seconds. You suppose that the rest of your co-actors who are here with you are still processing the end of a series that’s been their source of comfort for the past few months, too. It had been your weekly routine to watch the episode together in Jin’s house, not wanting to let go of each other just yet after filming wrapped up a few weeks ago.

“Well, that was amazing, wasn’t it?” He finally speaks up. “It was a good run and thank god that ___ insisted on these watch parties. Or else I’d be crying by myself in my room after the finale,” he laughs. “This better not be the last time we see each other.”

“Because it isn’t,” you reply. “We still have that cast and crew dinner and a couple more filming stuff for promo. That’s easily another 3 more weeks of being together. Which is really 3 weeks too short.”

“So… does anyone want to go on a trip after that?” Hyun-seung, one of the actors, excitedly suggests. “It’d be a good way to unwind and use up what we’ll earn.”

You laugh along with everyone but you’re the only one who passes up on it.

“I can’t,” you sigh. “I have a trip to Daegu at the end of the month and I can’t move it.”

Disappointed sighs echo throughout the living room, and you insist that they should continue with the trip without you. Most of them don’t want to, but you eye Jin so that he would make the call to push through with it even if you won’t be around, so he does. It’s rare to find such good company with other actors, and you truly want them to maintain the friendships they built here way beyond the series.

Your friends make general plans as you listen in, wishing you could be there instead of home, which is where you’ll be for the next 2 months as you promised your family. Or more like, as they guiltripped you into doing.

You haven’t been home in years and for good reason. After your parents separated and you were the lone child who didn’t harbor anger towards your mother who wanted to pursue her dreams elsewhere, you promised yourself you’d leave that place, too.

Visits during summer had been fine. But after the most painful goodbye you ever made, you’d stopped going back altogether, reasoning that your up and coming career required all your time. You doubt that your family knew the truth, and despite their remarks of you following in the footsteps of your mother, those weren’t enough for you to open up about something so heartbreaking, knowing it hit too close to home. Their bitterness wasn’t a reason for you to keep going back either.

“Daegu, really?” Jin asks after everyone else has left, save for Taehyung and Jimin, your personal assistant whose glassy eyes say he’s not yet over the season finale. “You haven’t been home in 6 years.”

“Four, actually,” you correct him. “I had a filming there sometime ago.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t actually go home,” he clarifies. “You went to the shoot then back to your hotel. I remember that; I kept asking Tae how you were doing.”

“I was fine,” you shrug. “How was I supposed to be? I was good, just couldn’t wait to get back here. I had a boyfriend, remember?”

“Andrew was a fling, not a boyfriend,” Jin rolls his eyes, and you confirm that the model is his least favorite of your exes. “And if I remember correctly, you broke it off days later.”

“Well, it stops being good when it stops being fun,” Taehyung says, mocking your usual statement whenever your friends ask why you broke things off with your partners. “She shut down when she came back. I guess going home does that to her.”

“You know how places just naturally comfort you? Daegu isn’t that place,” you try to explain. “I had to get it off my system for the one week I was there and Andrew acted out. I just didn’t want the drama.”

Everyone nods, knowing it’s how you usually are. You always viewed relationships as a complement to your job. Being an actor is tough work with its own complications and you definitely don’t want it from your partner. It was always easy for you to fall into that honeymoon hole with someone, but you always walked away from it just as quick once the rainbows and butterflies had subsided. Whether it’s jealousy over your leading men or not having enough time, or just wanting to be by yourself to regroup, your exes always found a reason to argue. And you were always good at walking away when you needed to.

It was like that with every person. Except one. Your friends don’t know if he’s the reason why, or if he’s the exception.

“So what made you decide to go home? And for how long?” Jin queries, feeling a little worried because of what he knows is out there for you. He’s always been a little protective like that.

“About 2 months?” You respond, to the surprise of the older man. “My dad wants me to celebrate his wedding anniversary with them. And spend time with my sisters’ kids and my grandparents and shit.”

“And spend time with my parents,” Taehyung adds, knowing it’s probably the only thing you’re excited about, given how much they adore you and vice versa. “They can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here,” you finally smile. “We’re definitely seeing them first.”

“Anyone else you’re going to see there?” Jin asks some more.

“You can say his name, you know?” You nudge your friend’s knee. “I know he’s who you mean.”

“Well then. Are you going to see Yoongi?”

“I don’t plan on seeing him but I probably will. It’s a big city but it’s a small town. Plus, I’m with Daegu’s Prince right here,” you say, pointing to your best friend who’s made a name for himself as a ballad singer. “Tae will be dragging me around so I won’t be surprised if I encounter Yoongi somehow, somewhere.”

“And what happens when you see him?” Jimin now asks, wanting to know if he’d need to drive to you in case you decide to come home early.

“Then I see him. We’re… fine,” you state, earning you an eye roll from each man, so you clarify. “I mean, I’m perfectly fine living my dream in Seoul. And he’s a college basketball coach in Daegu, which is the closest to his dream he could get, and I heard his team’s doing really well. It’s been 6 years. He let me go. And I’ve moved on. Who knows how it’s gonna be like? But I’m civil with each one of my exes and it won’t be any different with him.”

“He’s different, though,” Jimin points out. “You actually loved him; you can’t say the same for all your exes. And you can’t argue that,” he adds, seeing your shaking head and disagreeing face. “Drunk and hungover you told me all that more than once and I trust that version of you over the sober one when it comes to your love life.”

“Okay, Mr. Know-It-All,” you frown at him. “I wasn’t going to deny that but it was the naive, impulsive, hopeless romantic version of me who loved him. That’s not me anymore. I’ve grown up. I know what I want from my partner, and Yoongi is just the small town boy who’ll always think that his broken dreams will keep him from loving me the way I deserve. And maybe he’s right.”

It’s quiet for a while, as your friends take in your words since you rarely ever talk about the man unless you’re in an inebriated state or recovering from it. But it’s the first time that the possibility of seeing him looms over you, knowing that within those 2 months, you’re bound to run into him somehow.

Now it’s too quiet, and you realize that none of you know what to say since you’re all sober. Truth be told, you don’t remember anything that Jimin’s ever told you during those times that you opened up, and Jin never really said much, knowing how hard that breakup hit you. And Taehyung, well… the man was there before, during, and after it all, yet he never really said much, always choosing to let the silence engulf both of you.

“Look, I’m touched you all seem to be worried,” you finally speak up. “But I’m going to be fine. I found a house I’m renting that’s nice and private. I’m actually excited to eat at my favorite restaurants and visit places I’ve missed. I can’t do anything about my family but at least Tae will be with me the whole time and save me from their madness if he needs to. And Yoongi, well… he’s a closed chapter in my book. There’s no reason to revisit that. Hi, goodbye - that’ll be it, just like before.”

You sigh to yourself, hoping that your friends would take your word for it, though you don’t really blame them if they don’t. They’ve seen you barely bat an eye after calling it quits with your exes but they’ve heard of how broken you were because of that breakup; seeing Yoongi again might just bring up old memories that you might not be ready for. And they won’t all be there to lift you up like they’d want to.

“Okay then, if you say so,” Jin finally smiles. “But if something comes up… you know I can always drive there and bring you back here.”

“And add to the already existing rumors about us being a thing?” You laugh, referring to all the social media fodder about your chemistry that’s too good, it might be real.

“So? Then we let it,” he shrugs.

“Does the Kim Seokjin not care about dating rumors?” You gasp. “You always complained about it. Don’t tell me you like me.”

Jin sits next to you and cups your face in his hands. “I… love you. The way a dear friend who dreamed with you and who gets to live that out with you does. We all love you. We’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” you say, humming once he plants a soft kiss on your forehead, just like all the times he’d done before - when you graduated university, when you didn’t get callbacks, and when you landed your first major role. “Thank you.”

You decide to head out after a long evening. Jimin lists your activities for the next day before he’s dropped off at his apartment. Taehyung lets you listen to his new single for his upcoming album, and you get emotional over his soulful sound and the fact that he gets to live out his dream with you, too.

He walks you to your front door and hugs you tightly, just like all the times he’d done before - when you cried about your family, when Yoongi broke up with you, and when you found out he was dating someone new.

“I love you, okay?” Your best friend whispers.

He says it in that soft, comforting voice of his. The one that always told you that things were gonna be fine, as if love solves all things, and at one point, you believed it did.

Your hometown of Daegu looks very different from the last time you were really here. It changed a lot. And it changed pretty quickly.

But some things about it stay the same - family-run restaurants, streets lined with little shops passed down from generations, the parks and the temples, the playground in your old neighborhood with the basketball court that you know all too well.

They make the place home, Mrs. Kim says. That doesn’t change no matter how far or how long you’ve been away.

You want to disagree. This place was never home. It felt like bits of it during the times you used to watch ballet performances at the Opera House with your mom or when your dad used to grill makchang on Friday nights.

But when she decided to leave and then he remarried, you had just memories of home left. Your sisters’ resentment over your happiness for your mother as she achieved her dreams took all that was remaining, and coming here reminds you more than what you lost; it reminds you of what you can never have - that space to dream, the place of safety, the love that would endure time and distance.

You enjoy the best short ribs dish over Mr. Kim’s recordings of his saxophone performances. Mrs. Kim dotes on you like her own daughter, and Taehyung announces all the things you’ll be doing now that you’re both back home, taking your respective breaks that you deserve, and spending the money that you worked hard for.

You eventually leave for some rest. The house you’re staying at is far from the buzz of the city. It’s private and secure, a little too spacious for one, and boasts of the views of the mountains. Jimin had found it, knowing you’d need the peace and quiet amidst all that would be taking place during your short time here.

Taehyung will be staying over at his parents’ place, but they insist that it’s open for you to visit anytime you want. You think you need the time for yourself, though. Your job often requires you to be around people, and you’re thankful for the choice you have now to be away from them. For some time, at least.

[From: Manager Jung] Are you settled? I’ve got a script for you to go through. Sending it now

Your agent-slash-manager’s message disrupts your moment of tranquility as you sit out at the garden, watching the sun set. You’d arrived from Seoul in time for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at Taehyung’s parents’ house before heading to yours.

[To: Manager Jung] Yeah, all good. But give me a week until I read the script. Don’t want to think much about work yet

[From: Manager Jung] Fine. Just don’t take too long

You sigh, knowing that though you promised Jin and Jimin that you won’t be thinking about work while you’re here - you need a break from it all, they told you - your manager won’t really let you. And much as you want to complain about him pushing you real hard, you’re thankful that Jung Hoseok always does.

He was the one who saw your talent and insisted you’ve got a bright future after one casting call that you were almost late for. He was strategic in which roles to pitch you for as a rookie actor, and which ones would get you ahead of the game, no matter how challenging it was. During the times you wondered if you were meant for this industry, he always assured you that you were. There was always going to be a bigger break after the last, he believed, and he promised you he’d go searching for that role until you got the biggest break of your career.

And every time you think he’ll cross the line of pressuring you too much, he says something sweet, brotherly, friendly.

[From: Manager Jung] But take care of yourself there, ok? Don’t let them talk down on you. Don’t let them crush your dreams

You’d cry if his words came with a hug.

[From: Manager Jung] And guard your heart. Don’t let him hurt you again

You pretend he means your father; he let your sisters’ resentment of you go on after all, and his inaction made you feel unloved in your own home.

You don’t want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don’t want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved.

Being in any sports facility unsettles you. You always claim that the buzz of sporting events just isn’t your cup of tea - you prefer the noise of a film or television set, or of a theater right before the movie starts. It wasn’t always like that, of course. You used to enjoy the screams and heckles of sports fans; you used to be one of them.

But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you’d adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them.

Basketball is one of those things. It’s why Taehyung used to not invite you whenever there were Thunders games at Jamsil despite the free tickets always available for you; he knew you’d say no and he hates rejection.

But Mr. Song is a man you can’t say no to. Not only is he the city’s mayor, he’s also a good friend of your father’s, which is how the chief official got wind of your return.

Your trip isn’t meant to be publicized. Actors take breaks and visit their hometowns regularly without attracting the media, and oftentimes, that’s thanks to the local government, who employs their political will and own security to ensure that celebrities aren’t disturbed while they’re on vacation or just visiting family. It’s good for them, of course, but it also sometimes comes with small favors, like a private dinner with some of their close friends and some photos or autographs. You don’t really mind, especially since the same is extended to Taehyung, hence why the lunch earlier at the mayor’s residence wasn’t all that bad. It was only slightly awkward with your father because you chose to meet up with Taehyung’s family first before yours, but your dad didn’t dwell on it.

Other than privacy, one other thing you get are free courtside Korean Basketball League tickets. The Pegasus just recently moved to Daegu from Incheon and there’d been a lot of promotion to get the city to give their full support to their new hometown team. Mr. Song thinks that photos of you and Taehyung attending the game will be the publicity that the team needs, and while your best friend genuinely agrees to the arrangement, you only do so half-heartedly. You’ll at least see your friends who are playing for the other team, but even the thought of Jungkook and Namjoon being back home and the party they’ll throw after is making you even more unsettled.

“Hmm, number 16 was pretty cute,” you whisper to Taehyung as you head out of the locker room after some photos with the home team. “I wonder if he’ll be at the party tonight.”

“No, he won’t,” your best friend responds.

“Why not? Because he’s from the other team? I’m sure that Jungkook won’t mind, right? I mean, yeah it’s his house but—”

“Tonight is for college friends only.”

“We didn’t even go to their university,” you point out, given that you and Taehyung studied in Seoul and had met there, instantly clicking after finding out you both hailed from the same city. “Why are we going?”

“We are honorary members,” he replies. “I went to high school with them and you…” he trails, trying to figure out how to phrase how you became an honorary member of their group of friends without bringing him up.

“Are the ex of one of their friends,” you finish for him. “You can say it, you know?”

“I don’t know, can I?” He arches a brow.

“Yes. I don’t deny the fact that Yoongi and I dated.”

“You just deny how much it affected you.”

“You mistake my amazing ability of moving on for denial,” you groan. “But oh shit. Wait. Does this mean that he’ll be there at the party?”

Taehyung huffs as he settles in his seat and looks at your worried eyes. “For someone who doesn’t seem to be in denial, you sure look a bit anxious that he might be there tonight. Didn’t you say you can be civil with your exes?”

“Yeah, I can,” you reply defensively. “I don’t know about him. But then again, he moved on first, so I doubt seeing me would affect him much.”

Your best friend lets out a breath, not wanting to argue. He’s learned long ago that when it comes to Yoongi, you’re dead set on many things - like the narrative that he moved on first, that he was so much happier without you, that dreams were always more important for him, whether it was yours or his. Taehyung tried to help you process that whole experience, especially the aftermath, as you went on dating one man after another after you found out about Yoongi dating some local musician.

But you always had a default answer, that you’ve always been that way - quick to fall in love and quick to fall out of it, and Yoongi was no exception. You met, fell in love, and while you technically didn’t fall out of love, the breakup left you no choice but to do just that; he was the one who insisted that you leave, after all, and you’d been the one too heartbroken that he didn’t love you enough to make you stay.

“Well then let’s just see what happens,” Taehyung shrugs. “We’ve got a game to watch, a party to go to, and friends to catch up with.”

“And a nice, peaceful home to retire to after tonight. I’ll need all the good energy before I see the rest of my family tomorrow,” you sigh.

Right, there’s that, Taehyung frowns. Your family’s too complicated that you insist you don’t want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don’t want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won’t get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard.

“How is it that the Pegasus have been playing here for months but it’s the first time we’re watching their game live?” Geumjae asks incredulously as he sips his beer.

“Because it’s the first home game of the season against the Thunders when I’m home and when Jungkook and Namjoon don’t have girlfriends to give their tickets to,” Yoongi explains to his older brother. “And well, I never asked before.”

“Well, good on us that you’re here and your friends currently don’t have girlfriends,” Geumjae laughs. “Also, you could totally ask. They’re your friends; I don’t think it would be that hard for them to get extra seats for us.”

“I’m not their only friend here. I’m sure a bunch of the guys from college would ask,” Yoongi shrugs.

“You’re not just their friend, Yoon,” his brother groans. “You played with them, you captained them, and led them to college championships.”

“Yeah, yet I’m the one hustling it out as a college coach while they’re playing pro,” the younger man huffs.

He doesn’t mean to be bitter. He loves those guys, hustled it out with them until the late evenings just to get the proper training and workout in almost a decade ago. He couldn't be any prouder when Jungkook and Namjoon got drafted to professional teams and then reunited as teammates with the Seoul Samsung Thunders just 2 years ago. Yoongi had been the encouraging senior who messaged them right away, happy for his peers for being together again just like old times. He won’t lie and say it didn’t sting a bit to be left out from the life they all dreamed of having, with him being the only one who didn’t get to achieve it alongside them.

“Well, if it matters at all, you’re doing amazing,” Geumjae tries to cheer his brother up. “I read online that many are calling your team to win it all this year. Imagine being the only person in your school’s history to be a champion player and coach? Not just anyone can say that.”

Yoongi hums, trying to let the thought comfort him. It doesn’t do much; coaching a college basketball team is leagues away from playing professionally. The energy is different, so is the hustle. Shooting hoops with the kids during training isn’t the same. The lights and the cheers as he sits on the bench calling plays isn’t the same either. He can at least say that with coaching, he’s able to shape and mentor the young ones, direct them to better paths, encourage them to reach their dreams, and to not settle for a life they’re not happy with or proud of. He’s got a bunch of players who got drafted last year and dedicated their first professional game to him, and that’s an indescribable feeling he’ll always hold onto. It reminds him that even if it wasn’t him, it was at least someone he cared about.

He watches as the players do their warmups on court before the start of the game. This isn’t the first time he’s watched live, but it’s the first time with Jungkook and Namjoon as teammates, so seeing them goof around and do the handshake that they used to do warms his heart a little. Maybe it’s this bit of joy that he needs to remind him that it’s okay, that even if life turned out differently for him, at least basketball is still part of his life. There’s more he wants, of course, but this is way better than nothing. He reminds himself at one point, he didn’t think he could ever set foot on a basketball court again.

The game finally starts and though he’s usually quiet whenever he watches games, he can’t help the small small cheer he makes whenever Jungkook or Namjoon scores or makes crucial plays. He still knows their moves, can still read Jungkook’s pump-fake, and can still tell by Namjoon’s stance if he’s gonna make that rare three. Though he was a shooting guard during his glory days, Yoongi still prides himself in his playmaking skills and knowing his teammates well, something that scouts used to rave about.

Yoongi sips his beer, no doubt enjoying the exciting match. He obviously wants the Thunders to win, but the Pegasus aren’t backing down, not letting themselves trail by more than 8 points. He’s in a bit of a trance, as he lets himself drown in the cheers of the crowd, imagining that it’s him leaving it all out on the court.

But as he looks up on the big screen during timeout, he feels like the air is being sucked out of him. His ears don’t betray them either, as the announcer calls on your name and Taehyung’s - “celebrity sightings,” he says, while you and your best friend wave to the camera and smile like the superstars that you both are. The cheers get louder and Geumjae joins them until he realizes.

“Shit, that’s your ex-girlfriend,” he whisper-shouts. He laughs at the scene of his brother practically choking on his drink. “Wow, she still has that effect on you, huh?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Yoongi says nonchalantly, desperately forcing his heart to slow its beating.

“Did you know she’s gonna be here?”

“I don’t keep tabs on her whereabouts, Geumjae,” he replies, suddenly sounding hard, defensive.

“Do you think she’s gonna be at the party?”

Fuck, the party, Yoongi slightly panics. Jungkook talked about the sort of reunion he’s throwing at his house after the game. Their old teammates will be there, as well as some other friends from college who are still in the city. You and Taehyung were honorary members of that group and Yoongi knows that you’re both invited, too.

“I guess,” he merely shrugs, looking like it doesn’t bother him much.

It shouldn’t. It’s been 6 years, and while he’d been the one to break it off, you’re the one who’s dated a lot since then, something he can’t fault you for. You’d obviously catch a lot of attention - you did catch his - not just for your charm and unbelievable beauty but for your talent as well. He’s not surprised that you’re rumored to be dating Kim Seokjin, said to be this decade’s most desired leading man and who also happens to be your good friend, the one who’d helped you out a lot during your years in university. Yoongi used to be a little jealous then, something he never told you, and well, he guesses it’s meant to be with you and Seokjin now, a man he could probably never live up to.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Geumjae breaks through his thoughts.

“Yeah. Why won’t I be?” Yoongi huffs, sinking back to his seat to watch the game that suddenly isn’t so interesting anymore.

His question is left unanswered and his brother resumes his cheers, no doubt invested in this match that’s now tied. But Yoongi drifts in and out, his eyes following the players up and down the court then mindlessly landing on you. You’re seated in a relaxed manner, the opposite to how you used to watch his games. He sees you silently cheer for the Thunders, too, and you giggle at Taehyung when you scream louder than you intended, your hand covering your mouth as you lean on your friend and he laughs along.

He could hear the sound of your laughter from across the gymnasium, as if the way the dulcet tone of your voice used to send shivers down his spine whenever you giggled in his ears was just yesterday. He shakes off the goosebumps he feels and tries to sit comfortably on the chair.

“Are you nervous?” Geumjae asks. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Since when was I ever loud during a basketball game?” He shoots his brother an incredulous look.

“You may not make a sound but your body does,” the older man points out. “I could feel you buzzing earlier and cheering in that Yoongi way of yours but now,” he eyes him up and down, “your legs are just bouncing. And you're biting your nails again.”

Yoongi catches himself. He forces his leg to be still and tucks his hand under it. It’s a tell he has, and he has no doubt that his brother has caught on. Still, he lies. “The game’s close. I want the Thunders to win.”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Yes, now can we just focus on the game?” Yoongi chides, not wanting to confirm whatever his brother’s suspicions are.

“Fine, but for the record, I know exactly why you’re nervous.”

“I don’t really care.”

Geumjae sighs as he watches his brother’s gaze go to you once more, unknowingly, perhaps, as Yoongi seems to shake himself off after every time he realizes that his eyes were locked on your direction. But he can’t blame the younger man. You entered his life and he fell, extremely hard, and letting you go was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. Yoongi doesn’t need to tell him though, but there’s enough of his younger brother’s broken pieces lying around for Geumjae to know that it was also something he regretted doing, and he wishes his brother was at least brave enough to admit all that.

The Thunders win by 5 points. It was nail-biting until the very end. It was Namjoon’s crucial offensive rebound and Jungkook’s 3-point shot that sealed the game for them, and Yoongi was present enough to witness those last few plays. He decides to enjoy this moment with his friends, knowing they’d be asking him about it later. If he’ll still go to the party. Somehow, seeing you again made him a little dizzy. It was still on the screen, but now he’s not sure he’ll know what to do when he sees you in person.

He and his brother let the crowds go before heading out separately. Geumjae’s car is parked elsewhere, and Yoongi decides to head to the washroom and pace his walk to the parking lot. Hands on his pockets and eyes glued to the floor, he hears a gasp, and he releases one himself when he sees you, hiding behind one of the vending machines as a group of fans at the end of the hallways starts walking towards your direction, wondering aloud where you went.

He sees the panicked look in your eyes and decides to stop the crowd before they come any closer.

“She headed that way,” he announces, pointing to the right. “There’s an exit there. She probably left already.”

You hear the disappointed sighs, and much as you don’t want to let your fans down - you’re not one to deny them autographs - there have been too many of them this afternoon and you weren’t mentally prepared to accommodate each one of them. The footsteps disappear not long after and you let out a sigh of relief. That was close, but you didn’t expect Yoongi, of all people, to be the one to stir them away.

You turn to him, about to say your thanks, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat. You recall being a giddy mess the very first time you saw him, with nibbled lips and palpitating heart as you watched him shoot baskets and dribble the ball like no one’s business, and you’d been a goner since then. But he was a lot thinner during that time. His hair was cut short and his eyes had this sharp, confident gaze that usually intimidated people. You eventually saw how they softened only for you, though, but you’ll always remember that summer and how he had you wanting him at first glance.

This man before you isn’t all that different. He still has the same sharp eyes, with his look penetrating right through your soul like he knows you and well, he does, which is also why he was quick to misdirect the crowd after he perhaps saw the look of worry on your face. His tiny nose is the same, so is his pale skin. But his hair is now long, pushed back in the middle as it softly reaches close to his shoulders. He’s a lot leaner; you can easily tell from what’s hiding behind his thin white shirt underneath his blue jacket. You recall him dressing mostly in monotone colors, so seeing him in something a little more striking is new. He’s gorgeous just like before, and you don’t really know why you expected that he wouldn’t render you speechless this time around.

“___,” he calls out. “Were they bothering you?”

“No, uh…” you stutter, hating yourself for suddenly being nervous. “There were just too many of them and they were getting quite close, I kind of panicked. Stupid, really. I should be used to it by now. More of them came and I just…”

“If they were invading your personal space then that’s not right,” he says, his tone so serious you mistake it for worry. “Did they touch you or anything?”

“Oh no! Nothing like that. I just got a bit overwhelmed.”

“Where’s Taehyung?” He asks, as you watch him walk to the vending machine where you’re hiding, tap his card, and then get the bottled water that falls out. He opens it and hands it to you as if he’d done this so many times before, and well, he actually has.

“He met up with a couple of friends,” you explain. “The crowd got to me right after and I kinda lost him, but I told him I’ll meet him outside, somewhere near where the players come out.”

“Hmm, okay,” Yoongi hums, looking away.

He should’ve expected you to look way more beautiful up close but he tends to underestimate his ability to be entranced by you. He’s surprised he even got any word out, but the worry crept in the moment he saw you look a little winded and he just wanted to make sure you were alright. You’re a celebrity, after all, and the city’s “Princess,” as they claim.

You look a little nervous though, and a part of him just wants to scold Taehyung for leaving you behind, seeing as neither of you looked like you had security with you earlier. But that shouldn’t be his responsibility anymore, he reminds himself.

“Thanks for the water, by the way,” you speak up. “How much was it?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks again,” you smile shyly. “So, uhm, do you know where the other exit is? I’m kind of lost.”

“Oh, uh… the one close to where the players go out is there,” he cocks his head to the left, towards a hallway behind swinging doors. “I can uh, I can show you where.”

“Ah, that would be great. Did you park close there, too?”

No.

“Yeah,” he lies. “Let’s go before more people see you.”

He opens the door and walks after you. It doesn’t help that the hallway suddenly feels much smaller and closed off because now, Yoongi has to listen to your footsteps and nothing else, since neither one of you chooses to talk.

What does he say to the woman he broke up with 6 years ago? Maybe he can say something about your recently concluded series. He thought it was really good. Is it weird to ask what your next project is? Perhaps. You probably can’t even tell him. How was it like being the leading lady this time? Fuck, he’s not a talk show host or anything like that.

He sees the end of the hallway before his mind can come up with another stupid question, and he rushes to the door before you do, catching you by surprise.

“Just wanted to make sure there’s no one to bother you,” he explains, as you exit the building with questioning eyes.

“Oh, thanks,” you smile shyly again.

He’s not used to it. He remembers the way your eyes used to gaze at him constantly, how your smile and laughter were all cheeky and flirty, how the tone of your voice was always so confident, so charming. He thinks that maybe like him, you’re just as surprised and unsure about seeing each other after so long. He doesn’t know what to make of things beyond that.

“Do you have someone to pick you up?” he asks, needing to prepare himself if, as a last resort, he’d need to drive you somewhere.

“Yeah, Tae and I were supposed to ride together but,” you pause, checking your phone for your best friend’s text message, “he rode off with his friends and said he’d meet me at Jungkook’s instead so I’m just waiting for the guys. There’s the—”

Party, Yoongi says in his head.

“___!” Jungkook’s loud voice cuts you off. He jogs up to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, unaware of the man in front of you who’s being blocked by a wall. “You ready to go? Tae said he went ahead.”

Yoongi makes his presence known with a low grunt, his eyes pacing from his friend to you. You both look a lot closer than he remembers, and Yoongi’s mind goes to that first time you all met, how Jungkook had announced during their team celebration that the “girl with the yellow scarf on her hair is so pretty” and that he’d wanted to ask you out. Of course, things turned out differently - you weren’t interested in the younger man. But that was years ago. Jungkook has had an impressive professional career and he lives in Seoul. Maybe things have changed for you.

You follow Yoongi’s eyes. Despite many people claiming that he’s difficult to read because of the default unconcerned, almost detached look he has for every situation, you think he’s actually pretty transparent.

Or maybe that’s just you. You’ve spent enough time with him to know his sound of annoyance and the meaning of his body language. You’ve memorized that pretty face of his at one point that you can tell the slightest parting of his lips and the tiniest drop of his eyes, which could mean that he’s confused, sad, or disappointed. Maybe all.

“Oh, we’re not…” you exclaim, surprising yourself, to the amusement of Namjoon, who suddenly appears next to you. “I mean, Jungkook and I aren’t… a thing.”

You promptly remove the man’s arm from your shoulder and try to decipher Yoongi’s look now. Is it relief? Does he believe you? Does he think it’s silly that you had to clarify that, which you’re wondering why you did?

“Okay,” Yoongi says.

Perhaps you’re wrong. You can’t tell right now what he’s feeling.

“We just… got to hanging out when I got drafted by the Thunders,” Jungkook now clarifies, which he quickly realizes is maybe making this awkward situation a lot worse.

You’re Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend after all, and Jungkook had been the one to reach out to you when he moved to Seoul, but not once did he try to pursue you all these years. He respects his captain too much and cares for what you both had, which is why he maintained his friendship with you even after the breakup.

“That’s nice to know,” Yoongi replies, his tone nonchalant like always.

He’s glad he can keep his cool that well, even if his heart was just about to explode at the thought of you possibly dating his friend. He doesn’t know why he cares, though, as he never really thought much about the so-called code that stated that exes were off-limits to friends.

He’s just about to turn around when Namjoon calls out. “Min, you’re still going to the party, right?”

Yoongi looks at you, who promptly looks away. Up until 10 minutes ago, he was about 80% sure he would. He didn’t think that being in close proximity to you would make him remember all sorts of things, and that itself is enough for him to run for the hills and avoid you. He won’t claim he did his best to forget about you - he at least tried, and that still counts - but he didn’t expect he’d ever get a chance to be near you, much less talk to you and be in the same place as you. Again.

But he looks at his friends’ eyes, both pairs unsure yet practically begging him to still go. He remembers these looks, and he swears it’s because he doesn’t want to let both of them down that he battles with the inner part of himself and decides to still go. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with somehow finding out for how long you’re staying, and why you’re here in the first place.

“Yeah. I’ll see you guys there,” he replies, turning around now and heading towards his car on the opposite side of the parking lot.

You watch Yoongi walk away, unsure of why your heart is beating as fast as it is. It had been like that since you saw him after hiding from the fans, and even more so when you walked silently in the hallway to head outside.

You knew you were gonna see him, maybe even at the party, but not in the way you did. And all your confidence at not being bothered or affected with seeing him again melts away.

You weren’t prepared for how good he’d look, for how concerned he’d be over your safety, and for that hint of disappointment on his face at the thought of you being with Jungkook. Neither were you prepared for that incredibly tiny part of you that wants to know how he’s doing and if he’d managed to piece together the broken parts of himself and his dream that he so adamantly chose over you.

You survive the car ride by glaring at Namjoon every time he starts teasing you about panicking over Yoongi thinking that you were dating Jungkook, while the latter curses as he drives, claiming he survived one of the scariest moments of his life.

You arrive in Jungkook’s house in half an hour, a nice place he bought for himself because he said that Daegu will always be home for him. The sliding doors to the patio give it a spacious feel, and you see that a couple of his friends had already prepped the space, complete with beer kegs and beer pong tables, the way you remember they always used to party.

The 3 of you spot Taehyung who greets you, and the 2 men next to you proceed to narrate what happened, to your best friend’s shock and amusement. You also fill all of them in with the first part of the story about Yoongi finding you as you hid away from the crowd.

“How… symbolic,” Namjoon hums. “You meet at a basketball court in Daegu after a game while you were hiding from fans because you’re such a bigtime actress now. I mean, it’s quite ironic. The universe is out to tease you or something.”

You agree, it is. It’s times like this when you wish you didn’t believe in fate and destiny because doing so would just give you false hope that you and Yoongi may be meant for more than just those 2 years together. And you absolutely hate it because you can’t fall into that trap of thinking that you’re meant for a happy ending that includes him. That ship sailed a long time ago - 6 years and about 5 partners later.

But as Yoongi enters the house, his bowed head turning up to search the area before daintily tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, you start to think that maybe that ship decided to turn back around and sail towards you once again. He briefly meets your eyes before someone calls out to him, and you’re left to admire him from afar, cute button nose and impeccable side profile and all.

Taehyung pulls you by the arm and whispers in your ear. “Okay, so what’s our plan?”

“What do you mean, our plan?” You ask, realizing you’ve lost Yoongi as you glance in the direction of where he was, no longer finding him there. “Plan for what?”

“Yoongi, obviously,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Do we avoid him, be civil, pretend you don’t think about him anymore, or act like the past 8 years didn’t happen and we don’t actually know him?”

“None of the above,” you groan. “What kinds of options are those?”

“Decent ones?”

“Nope. You’ve already had a lot to drink and I don’t trust you when you’re drunk.”

“Except you should. This is when I don’t hold back when it comes to you,” Taehyung answers.

“And you hold back otherwise?” You frown.

“Just when it’s about him. It was tough for a long time. I know sometimes it still is.”

You don’t have the heart to disagree. This man has been your best friend for a decade and he knows how you are, knows which pains of yours you’re willing to talk about and which ones you’d rather hide away. Your acting skills may be good but you know that Taehyung can see behind all the smiles and the detachment and the effort to look okay, and whatever it is he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he might be right. You’ve just never been brave enough to admit them.

The look of understanding you both share gets disrupted when cheers erupt in the middle of the living room, seeing that Seungkwan had just beaten Jungkook in beer pong. The pro player demands a rematch and the entire house cheers in agreement. Jungkook takes the next game but Seungkwan won’t back down.

“Let’s do it in pairs,” he challenges. “I take Joon.”

“Fine,” Jungkook says, his game face on, knowing there’s one other person he knows could win this with him. “I take the Captain.”

Cheers erupt once more as people push Yoongi to the center where the rest of the guys are. He shakes his head, seemingly uninterested in partaking in tonight’s festivities but goes anyway after much coaxing from everyone. He then does his handshake with Jungkook to the younger man’s insistence, and you watch Yoongi’s soft, shy smile appear.

And just like the very first time you saw that, you feel your heart thrum in excitement. There was always something special about it, and back then it was because he rarely did it, but he did it a lot when he was with you. It’s nice to see it during a moment like this - surrounded by his old friends while having fun with them. You’re glad he shows more of it now, and you wonder how many people fell harder for him because of it.

You watch from the sideline as the Jungkook-Yoongi pair score 4 straight. Seungkwan complains that Namjoon isn’t making any shots, prompting the older man to claim that he’s way better at dunking than shooting tiny balls like they’re jumpers. They eventually lose after all the theatrics but it’s enough to get the guests going, as you find yourself teasing both men as well.

You remember their house parties being this rowdy and this loud, given all the energy and testosterone that these athletes had so much of. That obviously hasn’t changed, and despite all of them having grown up, looking all mature and much more respectable, the naughtiness remains, especially once they’ve had too much to drink.

It’s why you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of the guys, asking for a photo with you to show off to their friends and families.

“I’m showing this to the guys at the office,” Seungkwan announces as he gets your approval over the selfie picture he took of you both. “They’re not gonna believe I went to college with an actress.”

“Uh, I didn’t go to college with you,” you laugh along with the others. “I studied in Seoul.”

“Then how the fuck do we know you?” He exclaims, no doubt drunk out of his mind at this point. You remember him having a short-term memory every time.

“He’s the Captain’s ex, dumbo!” Soon-young reminds him, another one of the younger guys who hasn’t drank as much but was never good at knowing what not to say. “Remember the summer before his final year? She was with us all the time.”

“Oh right. They were inseparable and looked so in love,” Seungkwan giggles, and at this point, the rest of the people just go with what he’s saying.

Not you though, neither does Yoongi, and neither does Namjoon, who slaps the back of Seungkwan’s head to loud-whisper that the ex-couple in question is right there.

“Shit, did they hear me?” Seungkwan wonders out loud and looks around before sipping his beer. “I meant it though.”

He laughs drunkenly, so do many others. There’s really only a handful of you who aren’t intoxicated, but right now you wish you were.

“Wait, they’re both here?” Seungkwan recovers, eyes now glassy.

He gasps when his gaze turns to you and then Yoongi, and he puts his arm over your shoulder and slightly drags you to the right so he could put his arm over Yoongi, too.

“I found them!” Seungkwan squeals, pushing both of you to face him. “Shit, you still look good together.”

“Alright, dude, that’s enough,” Namjoon finally steps in, pulling the inebriated man away. “Sorry,” he turns to you. “Don’t mind anything he said.”

Too late, you want to say, but you release an awkward laugh instead.

“They haven’t changed since college, huh,” Yoongi says, surprising you. “They still put us on the spot then leave us to deal with the aftermath,” he continues, watching as the group disperses to go drink and chat again.

You turn towards him and sigh in relief over the small smile he has on. You swear the tension was so thick earlier that you could cut it with a knife, but Yoongi doesn’t seem bothered. He looks calm like he always does, and just like those first few times, you take your cue from him. You try to release the tension from your body and smile.

“They should be banned from drinking when there are ex-lovers in the building,” you chuckle. “But I’m pretty sure he’ll be apologizing to you like crazy once he’s sober. Wish I could see that.”

“I can’t wait for that, too,” Yoongi hums.

A wave of silence envelopes you both. The sounds of your friends seem like white noise now, and with the background music on and the man next to you just sipping his drink, it’s oddly comforting.

You learned long ago that he has this amazing ability to do that - make people around them feel calm. There’s something so reassuring about him that remarks about your past don’t faze him, and now that’s rubbing off on you, as you feel the awkwardness slowly melt away.

You and Yoongi stand by the couch while the world around you continues. You’d stay in this bubble with him if it wasn’t so familiar, only because the familiarity scares you a little. You don’t want to know if anything else feels the same.

“I’m gonna look for Tae,” you say, breaking the silence.

You only need to look to your left at the sound of someone hooting to find your best friend downing another cup of some concoction, and by the sound of his laugh, you know this is the one that will do it for him. This is his point of no return. Anything he does after is not meant for many people to see; he has an image to protect, after all.

“Alright, that’s my cue,” you say, walking towards him.

You cup Taehyung’s face in your hands and tell him that the party’s over and you’ll take him home. He argues, but you remind him that he’s a celebrity and that he can’t have drunk pictures of him circulating online. His inebriated mind sort of gets it, and you take him in your arms and start looking around, trying to see which of the guys are the most stable one to drive.

“How are you going home?”

“Uh…” you turn to face Yoongi. “One of… them? Jungkook, Wooz, Soon-young all offered.”

“And they’ve all had a lot to drink,” he replies.

“Who here hasn’t?” You chuckle, eyes still searching the room. You don’t want to ask your safest option, which is the man in front of you. You’re not quite sure how your heart can handle that.

“Me,” he says so casually. “I just had one bottle.”

You know what he means, even more when he goes to Taehyung’s side to help you assist your drunk best friend. Yoongi doesn’t say anything else though; he just stands there while waiting for your reply. This is about safety, you remind yourself, and it has nothing to do with suddenly wanting to be in his presence just a little longer.

“Okay,” you reply, knowing he knows what you mean, too.

“Okay.”

All three of you say goodbye to your friends, all of whom give you smug looks, passing up on the teasing now given Yoongi’s displeased face after someone remarks that “mom and dad are taking care of their kid again.” This isn’t a new scene for them, either. Taehyung just tends to have a lot of genuine fun when he’s with his friends; it’s something you relate with after being in the industry you’re in.

You and Yoongi help Taehyung in the backseat where you sit, with your best friend’s head securely on your lap because he’s now complaining of a migraine. Your designated driver starts the car shortly after he checks on both of you.

“Neither of you took your cars?” He asks.

“Tae did but passed up on driving tonight,” you say. “I would’ve driven, had I known he won’t be able to control himself. I’m still waiting for my requested rental car.”

Yoongi merely hums and focuses on the road while you… well, while you sort of focus on him. Your position behind the passenger seat allows you a view from the side - from how his fingers drum the steering wheel to how he nibbles his lips. His eyes are focused on the road but you can tell he’s focused on both of you, too, with the way he turns to the back whenever Taehyung makes some garbled sound or just to ask you if you’re okay.

You watched him do this so many times before with you next to him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek at every stoplight. For someone who loves music, he never put the radio on when he drove you. He said it allowed him to focus on you, and that memory isn’t one that you really want to think of right now, especially since it’s silent in the car. You don’t know which ones you’d rather remember, though - the good ones or the bad. You suppose either would hurt regardless, and this wasn’t something that you prepared for.

You make it to your best friend’s house as you and Yoongi assist him to the gate to Mrs. Kim’s shock. She scolds a barely-awake Taehyung and apologizes profusely to Yoongi, who says she’s happy to see him in their home once again. As Mr. Kim takes his son up to his room, Yoongi turns to you and asks if you need a ride home.

“I’m sleeping over,” you say in a panic. “Someone’s got to take care of his drunk ass.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, briefly meeting your eyes before nodding towards his car. “I’ll go ahead. It was nice seeing you again, ___.”

They’re simple words that any old friend would tell another after seeing them in years, but somehow they hit you differently. This entire evening hasn’t been a dream or some made up scenario in your head where you meet the man you loved after so long.

He’s here. With you. Looking at you in a way you’re very unfamiliar with - with a calmness in his eyes and a hint of care and acceptance, as if he’s glad you’re here but that he’s well aware of the years between you, of the years that passed by, of the years that changed you both.

You don’t respond fast enough because before you know it, he’s turning around, ready to head out the door.

“It was nice seeing you, too, Yoongi,” you say softly.

But he hears it, stops walking for a while, and then opens the door and walks out.

You wonder if he’d said something the day you left, would you have stopped and turned around? Or would you have kept walking?

But thinking about that won’t do you any good, so you turn away as well and head upstairs.

Outside, Yoongi steps on the gas, turns to the next corner, and then stops the car. He clasps his hands together so they’d stop shaking, and he lets himself breathe for the first time tonight. He’s kept his cool long enough, but after everything - the party, the teasing, the car ride - he doesn’t think he can hold the emotions in any longer, and he doesn’t even know what they are.

Longing? Sadness? Regret? Is it the unspeakable feeling of fear at the thought of you dating one of his friends who might actually be good for you? Is it relief at the idea that letting you go was the best thing that he could’ve ever done for you? Is it confusion over wanting so badly to take you in his arms but not wanting to feel your touch, knowing it would remind him of everything he’s tried to forget?

Yoongi lays his head on the headrest and takes a breath. You’re so beautiful, as if some light shines on you wherever you go. It’s probably the glow you emit; he’s told you that before but you always said he was just teasing. He sees it even more now.

But it’s also the crinkle of your eyes when you smile that sweet smile of yours that makes things feel familiar, and because of that, uneasy. It’s that honey sound of your voice; he heard it as you laughed during the party and joked around with everyone. It’s that captivating look you have, the one that says you know something but you want to know more; he felt that look when he entered the house and as he drove you earlier.

He wonders if you saw past him, past his nonchalance and calm demeanor. You were always so good at that - knowing there was more behind his passiveness, knowing how to get a reaction from him, knowing which buttons to push so he’d open up and let you in.

He doesn’t know if he should be afraid that you still know how to do it, or if he should revel in it because he’s missed you, more than he could ever say and more than he’d ever care to admit.

But beyond all that, he’s sure that one of his emotions is happiness. Every time you talked about work and being able to watch yourself on screen - he swears he didn’t eavesdrop but that he just happened to be there - there was that excitement that felt like the continuation from when you used to talk about your big dreams with him.

You got what you wanted and you worked hard to get to where you are and he knows you’re proud of yourself and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Seeing that smile - he knows. Letting you go was the best thing he’s ever done for you.

“What are you doing here?”

Taehyung’s hoarse voice forces your eyes off the ceiling onto your side where he’s currently hugging his pillow, messy hair and pouty lips on display.

“Trying to get some rest after I saved your drunk ass last night,” you bitterly respond. “I got to you before any compromising photos or videos were taken. You’re welcome.”

“Hmm, thanks,” he groans. “But uh, why are you here? Didn’t you say you wanted proper rest in your house before seeing your family today?”

“Right, uh… you see. Yoongi drove us here, and then he asked if I wanted a ride home but I kinda panicked and said I’m sleeping over so… Here I am!” You laugh, unconvincingly. “My rental car’s on the way here. I’ll drive to my house and then go to my dad’s.”

“Ugh, you’re so dumb,” he says, sinking into his comforter. You gasp in response. “That was your chance to be alone with him but you didn’t take the offer. We both know you wanted to.”

“Tae, being drunk and not holding anything back doesn’t mean you can just assume things like that,” you respond, sitting up and frowning at him. “I didn’t want to be alone with him, that’s why I’m here!”

“Why didn’t you want to be alone with him?” He answers back.

“Uhm, why would I want to?” You ask incredulously. “Since when was getting in a car alone with an ex ever a good idea?”

“Why? You’re afraid you’d kiss him if you did?”

You scowl at your best friend. “I should’ve left you there drunk with possible penis drawings on your face.”

“Just being honest. It’s not like you’ve never done that with him before,” he shrugs.

“I hate you.”

“I know. But you’ll love me later on. At least I’m still half asleep.”

You push him awake, the stress heightening now as the previous night plays in your head.

“Tae! What happened to my hi, goodbye plan?!” You groan. “I was literally just supposed to say hi and then be civil, like, acknowledge his presence but not be affected by it. But then we had some small talk and he drove us home.”

“We all know it was a denial plan,” he huffs. “It was bound to fail.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re being incredibly helpful right now,” you frown again.

“Fine,” he grumbles, sitting now. “You had small talk, he drove you here. How are those affecting you and why are you making it a big deal?”

“I’m not making it a big deal,” you point out.

“You kinda are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are because that’s how things started before. And you’re afraid that one small misstep will cause you to fall for him all over again, fast and hard, because that’s how you are when it comes to him.”

“You’re hungover and tired so your judgment is impaired,” you say, crossing your arms. “You remember what happened after all that. I’ll be perpetually grateful that you never pushed me to talk about it unless I was drunk and couldn’t remember things but I was heartbroken, Tae. And then I was numb. It took a while before I started to feel again.”

“I know,” he says, taking you in his arms now as he holds you like a baby - a rare occurrence, as this often happens the other way around. “And I can never fault you for it because even if it was like that summer fling that only happened in the movies, I know you loved him, genuinely and intensely, and a love like that stays with you. But he’s got a good life here, ___, and you’ve got an amazing one in Seoul. You just have to remember why it didn’t work out in the first place and make sure you don’t fall into that trap again. Just… acknowledge that. For your sake. And then do what you need to do so you don’t make the same mistakes again.”

Enveloped in his warmth, you take in your best friend’s words. He may still be hungover and may also be confused but his comfort never seizes, and it’s one of the reasons why you love him dearly.

“So yeah, good on you I guess for not taking that ride with him. Maybe staying away and keeping your distance might be good,” he adds.

Your silence somehow alarms him, so he nudges you. “It’s a good idea, right?”

“I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like staying away and keeping my distance will let him know that it still affects me. He’ll always know me like that,” you sigh, hugging him tightly for more comfort. “And there’s this part of me that wants to show him that I’m fine, you know? That even with everything that happened between us, I walked away from it knowing what I deserve, and that’s someone who’ll fight through life with me. He didn’t and that’s on him but he had his reasons, and looking back, maybe he was right. Maybe he had to let me go, and maybe - because I loved him genuinely and intensely - I want to show him that it wasn’t all in vain. And that I’m happy. Even without him.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to him, you know?”

Maybe I want to prove it to myself, you don’t say. There’s a stubbornness in you that doesn’t go away.

“This isn’t about him, is it?” Taehyung levels his head with you.

For someone hungover, he still knows you pretty well.

You just sigh and fall back in his arms. He doesn’t push you. He just hugs you again until you both fall back in bed and he can comfortably curl his body all over you because it’s Taehyung and he likes to do this.

“Just be careful, alright?” He pleads.

“You know I also kinda don’t have a choice,” you reply. “It’s a small town and we’re bound to see each other. Jungkook and Namjoon have a game here again in a few weeks and that means another get together.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”

You hum. “Promise me you’ll be by my side whatever happens?”

“Always, you stubborn woman. I’m the one person who’ll never leave you even if you push me away.”

The lunch with your family is how you expect it to go - with your older sisters making some backhanded comments about your fame and how you’ve been “too busy” to even visit, and your father trying to dissolve the tension. He’s at least genuinely curious about how you’ve been, asking if you’re eating well and getting enough rest. Your stepmom raves about your drama series and shares that she cried during the finale.

“Why did he have to go back to his planet?” Garam’s 7-year old asks after your stepmom narrates what happened.

“His time on earth was up,” you explain. “He finished his mission and he had to leave.”

“But why didn’t he stay if he was happy?”

“Because he had a responsibility in his home,” you smile. “He wasn’t made for this world.”

“He didn’t have a choice, sweetie,” Garam adds after her daughter comments that it was sad. “That’s understandable. Some people leave because they’re no longer happy with those around them. Or because their dreams are more important than those they supposedly love. Isn’t that sadder?”

“It is. Don’t leave me, Mama,” the little one pouts.

“Oh sweetie, I never will. I don’t leave people that I love,” Garam responds, glancing at you to make a statement.

You zone out after that, not wanting to engage with your sisters anymore. You play with their kids, though, who get excited when they see you on TV. You don’t want to treat them like you hold a grudge against them even if you do so with their mothers. Your sisters continue to do that with you - resent you when it’s your mom they’re really angry at for leaving your already unhappy family after she got her dream job in Paris. You were never angry though but you did sort of follow in her footsteps, and your sisters hated you even more because of that.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Your father asks, the hope in his eyes hurting you.

Things weren’t going well with your parents for a while, giving your mom more reason to leave, but you always wished that he had done more for you to feel loved in the home that started to become toxic after it fell apart, but you suppose he was just trying to heal his own broken heart after his wife left. It felt like your sisters weren’t going to forgive you when you decided to leave yourself, and he just let you walk away without making sure you knew he still loved you despite your decision.

He’s moved on now, though, and happy with someone who prioritizes him and his needs. But too much time and distance can pull people apart - you can see them without the desire of being with them. That’s the reality with you and him now and there’s not much you can do about it.

“No, I’ve got other plans,” you respond, glancing at your sisters who return your look with bitterness. “I’ll see you at grandpa’s tomorrow.”

You drive around for half an hour with no destination in mind. It’s nice to see how much this place has changed and discover which parts of it still feel the same.

You pass by an antique shop - the antique shop, a generations-old family-run store that used to be the hub of imported furniture that the townspeople once flocked to. It’s now a speciality store that still sells one-of-a-kind items but it also refurbishes old pieces. You see a poster on the window that’s promoting woodworking workshops. You won’t be surprised to find out whose idea that was.

A man briefly exits, and you stop near the front, wanting to just take it in. He’s got more gray hair now and walks a little slower but he looks just like you remembered - soft crinkled eyes, comforting smile, a look that you know all too well. You decide to enter, as you’re desperate for something - anything - that feels more like home than the one you just came from.

“May I help you?” The man asks.

“A greeting and a hug would do,” you look up at him and smile.

“___?!” He gasps, walking outside the counter to get closer to you. “Is that really you, my dear?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Min,” you smile, returning the hug that you requested. “Just passing by my favorite antique shop in town. How are you doing?”

“Great! Business is stable and I’ve still got a lot of fight in me to continue,” he chuckles. “How about you? The big city treating you good?”

“It is,” you reply. “I think I’m doing quite okay there.”

“Ah, well it should be treating you amazingly. That’s what you deserve.”

You continue the conversation, with you asking about his latest projects and him, talking about his furniture and wood like his children, pride laced in his voice every time. He asks you about your latest series and if you’ve met his favorite actors and you indulge him. His laughter is music to your ears. You remember spending time here where he worked on his pieces while you talked about your favorite movies.

“Does my son know you’re here?” He asks after a beat of silence.

“He does. I saw him last night. He looks well.”

“He does, doesn’t he? It took a while but he’s doing much better than before - smiling, joking around, helping me at the shop, talking about basketball again. It’s nice to see.”

The words hit you in ways you didn’t expect. Breaking up with Yoongi was tough to get over. Those last few months had been incredibly hard and so many times you thought that maybe if you’d been more patient, maybe things would’ve turned out differently.

But you remember how during those last days with him, he’d lost the glimmer in his eyes and the softness of his smile. Not even you could bring those back. His passion for things just dwindled; he stopped wanting more, stopped wanting you, stopped thinking that things could still work out for him after what he suffered through.

You’d kept in touch with Namjoon and Jungkook at their insistence, and they’d been the one to update you on how Yoongi was doing. Not a lot of details but just general things like the jobs he took and that he was keeping himself busy and that he was trying to get back on the court. It wasn’t with unpleasant stories, though - you learned about his new girlfriend from them, and that he didn’t play basketball for awhile, and that during the toughest days, he considered giving it up altogether.

You knew he’d done well. You learned that from the guys, too. But hearing it from his father is different; you can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for Mr. Min to see his son start to change from what he used to be. But you know that as the good father that he is, he made sure that Yoongi knew he wasn’t alone.

“And that’s good to hear,” you say. “Yoongi deserves all the happiness this world can give. I’m glad that he’s found his joy in basketball again it seems. And that he found it here.”

“He has, but I guess something will always be missing. He’s a lot better but he’s not the same. A parent would know, you know? The flame doesn’t shine as bright,” Mr. Min answers, the tinge of sadness in his eyes hurting you a little.

But you just nod. His words seem to mean more but you don’t want to know what it is.

“Dad, what did you want me to look at?”

Yoongi’s voice echoes in the shop and you can’t help but turn to him who’s just entered and looks as shocked as his father was earlier.

You have a soft smile on, and Mr. Min knows not to intervene.

“Oh, nothing,” he says, thinking that the new wood he acquired could wait. “Just watch over the counter for me while I check something inside, alright Son?”

He doesn’t let the younger man answer and just heads to the back, leaving you and Yoongi alone. He walks closer but keeps his distance. It’s enough for you to appreciate the softness of his face, though. His presence had always been reassuring; you see him twice and you’ve felt more comfort with him than you have in months. You don’t know how he does it, but that shouldn’t surprise you anymore. This isn’t the first time anyway.

“Is Taehyung alright?” He breaks the silence.

“Recovering, but more from his parents giving him shit for drinking too much,” you chuckle. “He got an earful and Mrs. Kim said she won’t let him in the house next time he gets that drunk. He’s doing chores as punishment.”

“Ah, well it’s been a while. It was nice to spend time with everyone again.”

“It was,” you smile now.

“And you? Are you okay?” He asks, sincerity laced in his low voice.

“Yeah, of course.”

It’s the hesitant nod and the way your eyes look at anything but him, and he knows that whatever happened after last night is something you want to forget or seek comfort for. So he asks.

“So what made you come here? To the shop, I mean.”

“I was driving around. It didn’t register to me right away that I was in the area,” you respond. “And this place was always so calming for me, you know? The smell of wood, your dad’s stories…”

You.

“So I thought I’d come in”, you continue. “He hasn’t changed. It’s nice to see him.”

Yoongi always wondered what parts of you remained the same and which parts didn’t.

Perhaps the playfulness tempered a bit. You seem a little more anxious than he remembers, too. There’s this sophistication about you that was always too good for this small town, and he sees that even more now. Your smile is still soft but it isn’t as bright. He won’t deny that it still makes his heart race, though.

You have a habit of going somewhere familiar to seek comfort. You always looked for it in places, he noticed - in that dingy convenience store near your school, in your town’s secondhand bookstore even if you don’t like reading, in the Opera House where you and your mom used to go to. Yoongi learns now that that hasn’t changed at all. You’re in his dad’s store, a place you always wanted to go to after spending time with your family, and he supposes that’s where you came from.

He doesn’t know if he’s still someone you find comfort in and he doesn’t know if you even want to spend time with him after all these years, but he doesn’t have the heart to just let you walk out of here not knowing if you’re truly okay.

He hated leaving you alone then when things weren’t good. You didn’t always want to talk but you said once that just hearing him breathing on the other end of the phone or just having his hand over yours made you feel better. He may not be the right person now but he’s still someone, and that’s always better than no one.

You eye the door, ready to leave, but his call of your name prompts you to look back at him.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” He asks.

“No, not really,” you reply.

“Would you like to grab some coffee?”

The words are familiar. You hate that you remember everything about it.

“Just coffee?” You ask, almost teasingly.

He chuckles softly and meets your eyes, and somehow a part of you thinks that you shouldn’t do this. But you’re glad he asked in the first place.

“Yes, ___. Just coffee.”

Series Masterlist

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#yoongi fic #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts suga #yoongi fanfiction #exes to lovers #exes au

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eleni-cherie · 19 days ago

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"among thieves" is finally finished! 🥳

i mean, it already was finished last year but the revision and anew editing is now finished as well !!!

hope you enjoy it, whether it's your first time reading it or your second 😊

💜check out the whole "thieves collection" series or my main bts masterlist for other members' stories in this universe or in general💜

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bykshre · 1 year ago

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STILL WITH YOU ll JJK - 001

CHAPTER 001 ll 2.05K words (song - I Feel It Coming, The Weeknd)

Pairing - CEO Jungkook x Head Of Department Y/N

Synopsis - 7 years ago, you and jungkook broke up after a long-term relationship in high school and college. Never have you ever thought that one day, you would reunite with your ex-lover or the guy you once believed was the love of your life. What does fate hold for the both of you?

Genre/tropes - exes to lovers, angst, slow burn, grumpyxsunshine, a second chance.

Rating - M

Warnings- panic attacks, crying, flirty prologue, alcohol, break up mentions, insomnia. All are mild mentions. Not too severe.

Masterpost | Next

prologue

21st August

I had no classes today, and Y/N did. I took the opportunity to decorate the living room with balloons and many of our pictures together. And when I say many, I mean all of them. Be it selfies, cuddle pictures, date pictures or the randomest pictures Y/N and I took of each other in weird situations. I managed to include every single one of them. I live and breathe to see her happy. She matters a lot to me.

After pouring my heart into the house adornments, I plopped myself on the couch and reflected on the pictures I hung on the walls. One of the pictures caught my attention, the first picture Y/N and I took on our date. We were so young and full of love. Nothing changed anyway.

I permanently kept that picture of us in my wallet. It was so special to me. Our very first date. A cliche photo booth picture. It was so unadorned, but it was unforgettable at the same time. Who wouldn't want to relive that?

.......

4.20 p.m.

I stood in front of our apartment door. Holding a bouquet of roses in my hands.

Shock was graced on Y/Ns face. She looked so happy. I could even see tears welling up in her eyes. Y/N was never a fussy lady or a spoilt brat. She was simple. She never sought for extravagance. She loved the most diminutive things I did. That's what I cherished about her - her unwavering simplicity. She's a gem, rare to find.

"I love you!" I saw Y/N running towards me and hugging me. Lone gone was the flower bouquet. Our kisses and giggles filled the room's ambience. "Happy 5th Anniversary, love." She peppered tender kisses onto my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

"Y/Niee, that's enough of the kisses. I chucked. "Y/N, how about we start getting ready? We have a date tonight. Plus, I bought a dress for you, which I think you'll adore. You'll be looking like a diva in it." Y/N frowned for a moment. I giggled at her state. She gets upset often when I spoil her with luxurious items. "Just for tonight, love, you deserve it today." I leaned into her and gave her a tender yet aggressive kiss on her ravishingly tempting reddish lips.

......

"What do you think?" Y/N said while leaning on the kitchen counter. I scanned her from head to toe. She looked gorgeous in that red dress accompanied by the long slit at her legs. The crimson fabric drapes softly over her form, embracing her contours with a tailored precision that accentuates her every curve. The richness of the red hue not only complements her skin's natural glow but also exudes an air of confidence and charisma. She looked like a goddess.

"I could have you as main course, mi amour," I said in a flirty tone. She blushed. I saw her cheeks turning crimson red. I love how only I could make her a blushing mess. She was always mine.

"Jungkook!!" She said in a flustered manner. "We're getting late!"

"Don't say that love. I know you enjoyed it." I winked at her. She was a blushing mess.

"Love, you are looking like a Greek god yourself! You are so handsome!" She said while checking me out, not giving an absolute fuck that I noticed she was drooling over my attire and looks tonight. "Your tux perfectly addresses your body shape." She said while pulling me into a hungry, aggressive kiss. Glad to know we're on the same page.

"Are you ready? Let's go." We interlocked our hands, creating a connection that felt unbreakable. "Ready!" I chuckled at her behaviour. She's carefree and happy. She drives me insane but in the most enchanting manner.

"You better be love. We have the whole night awaiting. You'll see stars tonight." I winked again, igniting a spark of intimacy between us.

We laughed, savouring each moment of the day. That's something I treasured about our relationship. We love hard.

"Love you". "I love you too".

Present

JK pov.

"I love you, Y/N, I always will. That's a promise I'll never leave you. Ever."

"I love you too, Jungkook. You will forever be the love of my life. Nothing will be able to make us apart."

One. Two. Three. My eyes opened. I felt a salty bead of water slipping from my eyes. Trailing down my cheeks. I was crying. Again. At this point, it had just become a routine for me. Ever since that day, I have never been able to sleep properly. And even if I would, it was because of the help of alcohol. I miss her and crave her touch. But what she has done has created a massive hatred for her. All those promises and words were false.

I opened my phone to check the time. It was 4.32 a.m. I definitely won't be able to sleep after this. But I needed it desperately. After mulling for a few minutes, I opened my Spotify playlist and clicked 'play' on a playlist she made for us. It was titled "Midnight Love". It would always help me to calm down. These are the traces of items she left with me. And I would never let them go.

♫ You don't need a lonely night

So, baby, I can make it right

You just got to let me try

To give you what you want. ♫

I mentally laughed at the lyrics. Remembering the sight of us back in the day. Sure, we were very horny. But we did have a fair share of emotional rollercoasters. The most important part was that we were there for each other. I do wonder how she's doing. Without me...

Is there someone who can actually love her? Before I could react or think anything else. My eyelids fell heavy with the weight of drowsiness. I eventually drifted off to sleep, welcoming a set of dreams.

"Y/N, you drive me insane."

Y/N pov.

4.32 a.m.

I laughed. Danced. Sang my heart out to "I Feel It Coming". Jimin and I decided to host a party at our apartment with our close friends, Taehyung, Mina and Namjoon. I was absolutely drunk. A mess, broken mess. All thanks to alcohol. We couldn't give an absolute fuck that we had work tomorrow. Emotions were uprising. We were immersed in our feelings. I rarely consented to these parties and would usually be sleeping or watching Netflix. Despite that, a part of my heart said, "Y/N, you deserve this fun, be yourself, express your emotions."

♫ You've been scared of love

And what it did to you

You don't have to run

I know what you've been through

Just a simple touch

And it can set you free

We don't have to rush

When you're alone with me ♫

Although I was super drunk and giggling the whole time, a tiny part of my heart clenched at the lyrics. It held some truth to it. I kinda miss him. No, I miss him... a lot. Whatever. The past is the past. I must move on.

"Hey! Y/N, let's dance, just us," Jimin asked. Everyone else had already left. I was so submerged in my feelings I didn't notice it. Busy reminiscing the beautiful past. "Oh yeah, Jiminiee sureee. Would your girlfriend slash whatever be fine with that?" I said while giggling because I knew that Jimin wasn't the guy who pursued relationships. Whatever interactions he had with women were just to please his sexual desires. Nothing else.

Jimin took me into his arms while I slid my hands around his waist.

The song playing at the back had turned into a faint sound playing at the back. I couldn't hear anything anymore.

♫ You've been scared of love

And what it did to you

You don't have to run

I know what you've been through♫

Oh no... my emotions are controlling me.

The alcohol is starting to get to me. I couldn't hold it back. Jimin noticed me acting weird. My head spun. I couldn't maintain my balance anymore. Jimin's grip on me tightened. I sank my head into his chest. There was it. I started crying. I rarely had meltdowns. But if something triggered them, I would easily have a breakdown. I started blabbing.

"Jiminie, do you know how much I miss him? I would run back to him in seconds? I would cuddle him at night to comfort him and keep his insomnia away? I still remember him vividly." I said shakily. "I wish I could have changed what happened that day. But I couldn't. I wish all of those things were fake. Apparently, it isn't. I should hate him. But my heart never brought me to that feeling. What is wrong with me?"

My breathing became shallow. I knew I would pass out soon.

"Y/N, Are you there with me?" I definitely passed out by the looks of it.

I could feel my back pressed on a soft, comfy mattress. The duvet, a cocoon of warmth and solace, draped over me like a protective shield, its weight a soothing embrace that banished the remnants of weariness. Jimin must have carried me to my room. He placed a glass of water, a bucket, and a strip of pills on my bedstand for tomorrow. "Goodnight, Y/N, sweet dreams.

I mumbled, "Jungkookie, I love you." I went to my dreamland.

Jimin laughed at that. He knew how you still miss him. He whispered to himself. "Your Jungkookie must be missing you too, Y/Nie."

"Just hang in there."

The universe has a silly way of reminding you of certain people. Two ex-lovers were reminded of the same memory. Was it a coincidence or fate?

Taglist : @lovingkoalaface @jk97bam @slapmy4head @vinuhsha

Thank you lovely people ❤️

This is only a beginning chap so it will take time to develop the characters and don't worry yn and jungkook will meet... Soon.

Till then. #Stillwithyoubykshre

#jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #bts smut #bts ff #jeon jungkook au #jungkook x reader #reader x jeon jungkook #Jungkook jeon #Bts army #Second chance #Exes to lovers #Exes #Lovers #Jungkook au #Still with you jungkook #Still with you #Still with you bykshre

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pascaloverx · 9 months ago

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OUR SECRET — MYG

chapter seven

Summary: You and Yoongi are having an affair. No, you are not being his lover. But the world is not ready to know that an idol is dating someone. So you two were doing your best to make sure no one found out. Until he breaks up with you. His mistake.

Author's note: This fanfic will contain inappropriate language and intimate moments between some characters. Be warned. I will let you know if anything becomes inappropriate. Please enjoy this Yoongi fanfic.

PREVIOUS NEXT

To marry without love must be terrible. To marry with love seems better, but everything depends on the conditions in which one gets married. If you're stressed because you're about to give birth to an unplanned daughter with a love that no longer serves you, and a fake marriage is your only solution, marrying seems like hell. Unfortunately, you're discovering this the hard way. At least you and your daughter are doing well health-wise. Namjoon and Jin keep checking in to make sure you're taking care of yourself, while Hoseok and the younger ones try to help with the marriage. The fans of the group that your daughter's father is a part of have surprisingly accepted well the fact that you're pregnant with Yoongi and that you're getting married. Everyone bought into the story of marrying out of love and the pregnancy being the result of a cute hidden formal relationship. The wedding with Yoongi was quick and without much fuss. Your belly is too big, time is short so a short wedding was perfect.

"I think this is the last box. Who knew I'd be moving into your house, pregnant with your baby and married to you. It doesn't feel real." You say organizing your last moving box while Yoongi organizes the baby's room.

"I finished setting up our daughter's room. I think it looks nice..." Yoongi comments as he watches you organize the rest of the clothes in the wardrobe.

"Can we talk for a bit?" You ask, sitting down on the corner of Yoongi's bed, which will soon be your bed together.

"We've barely been married, and we're already going to have a serious conversation?" Yoongi tries to be funny, but you look at him somewhat indifferent.

"I think some things need to be talked about. We're almost at a stage where another human being will depend exclusively on us. I think it's important that you know you'll have to be involved in Ji-soo's life. And I know it's premature, but I think Min Ji-soo, a beautiful name, and since I'm carrying her, then..." You speak defensively but without getting worked up.

"You notice that in this relationship, we should be a team and not rivals, right?" Yoongi speaks, taking a strand of his hair that was touching his eyes, while you look at him. You don't know if you're mad at him or if you agree with him.

"This whole situation is crazy. I dated you because I loved you and now we're married and I feel like I'm at the point where I'm stopping loving you. We need to fix this before the baby arrives." You say getting physically closer to Yoongi, your hand held his.

"What is your suggestion?" Yoongi asks holding her hand. A silly smile appeared on his face and you felt shy for a moment.

"May we try to be peaceful with each other. Maybe we can be bold too." You say, raising your hand to Yoongi's neck, pulling him into a kiss. A kiss that reminded you of what it was like to love him, making you feel intoxicated by the sensation of kissing Yoongi.

However, a sudden pain makes you pull away from Yoongi, letting out a groan of pain. It almost felt like your baby was kicking your belly, but usually, that didn't cause such intense pain. When you look down, you see blood on your pants, staining the floor of the room. Yoongi looks at you terrified, and you feel a sense of panic engulfing you.

"Yoongi, I'm not feeling well. I think there's something wrong with our girl." You say, feeling another pang of pain in your belly and slowly becoming dizzy. The pain was so intense that you almost blacked out when trying to stand up.

"Jagiya, listen to me. Let's go to the hospital, but I need you, for the sake of our daughter and yourself, to try to stay conscious." Yoongi says, grabbing the bag they had prepared for the baby and the car keys.

"If something happens, take care of our daughter for me. I know you'll be a good father." You say, feeling like you'll lose consciousness soon. The little strength you have, you use to gently touch your belly, as if saying goodbye to your little girl.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You and I are going to be great parents, together. I promise you that everything will be fine." You hear Yoongi say, so you look at him and touch his face. A last caress before the uncertain end. And then everything fades away, and you see nothing more.

To be continued...

#yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #bts fanfic #min yoongi fanfic #min yoongi x you #min yoongi #jungkook #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #taehyung #jung hoseok #park jimin #bts series #bts angst #yoongi angst #min yoongi angst #ex to lovers #future parents au #Spotify

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seokjins-luigi · 2 years ago

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i hate everything about you | pt. 2 | pjm

・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader

・genre: exes to ? | angst | smut

18+

・word count: 4.2k

・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.

・banner: by the amazing @/kookdiaries

・A/N: i'm very sorry for making you wait for so long ): but finally, here's part 2 of this story. i wanna thank everyone for the amazing feedback 💜

again: here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe

as always, thank you to my soulmate @primadonnasdream for helping me build my stories. hope you guys enjoy the reading :))

if you wanna be added to any of my taglists, just leave a comment here. feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜

・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn

・taglist:@imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc @tea4sykes @pamzn @nikkiordonez12 @withluvjm @natalie-rdr @south09 @hannahdanyelle @vonvi-blog @leticiaesteveslp @sheylamc @kooklovee

You like to think of yourself as a not complicated type of person. Most of the time, you’re logic-oriented, try not jumping into conclusions and, above all else, you don’t waste your precious time obsessing over things that are outside of your control.

This has been working for your chill personality for your entire life just fine, but when it comes to Park Jimin, none of it applies to you.

Today, you wake up feeling extremely tired after the awful night of sleep you obviously had. Unfortunately, you couldn’t think about anything else other than fucking Park Jimin. The things he had said kept replaying in your mind in a never ending loop. Totally obsessing over it and this is so unlike you, it hurts.

You watched the dark shades of the night turn into the golden shades of the morning through the thin curtains of your bedroom window. What did he mean when he asked you if you still had no idea? Was he trying to manipulate you or was there something you really didn’t know about the situation?

As much as you keep trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to dig into it, you know that you very much want to dig into it. You nor only just want, you need to. If anything, it’ll give you closure. Although it sounds bizarre and you honestly didn’t have the faintest idea of what this could be about, it really felt like some part of Jimin was being honest.

“I wanna tell you everything”, he actually said that. Maybe there is something to be told. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, maybe you are only falling under his spell all over again. But the fact that you were the one who did not let him speak last night is eating you alive, now you’re anxious and nervous and it’s all your own fault.

You were just sure things could not go on like this, because it was starting to affect your work. You kept losing focus on your meetings with clients, forgetting about important tasks or overlooking details that should not be overlooked. This is where you draw the line. You can’t allow Jimin’s influence in your life to go this far. One time was enough, you can’t allow him to mess with your head again.

After pondering about it for hours, you decide to go looking for him. You know the only way out of this spiraling mode you’re in right now is to have an honest and thorough conversation with Jimin, because you deserve to know the truth.

When you arrive at the bar, the place Jungkook took you last night, you see Jimin’s car parked nearby. It was almost exactly six o’clock and you’re sure he had arrived at work already, he’s always been a responsible guy. Luckily, as if destiny was giving you a hand, not even a minute later you see the glass door of the bar being opened and a second later Jimin passes through.

You see your ex heading towards his car, he doesn’t seem to have seen you across the street. You hesitate for a second, but you force yourself to go to him.

Each step you take in his direction makes you want to just run away as fast as you can, almost as if you can’t take the anticipation. You need this. You need closure. You can do this, Y/n.

As you got near, you saw him looking for something in the glove compartment, still unaware of your presence. You take a deep breath and call his name.

“Jimin?” You’re surprised with how confident you sounded.

He snapped his head in your direction, confusion stamped all over his face.

“Y/n?” He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to you as he spoke. “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” You looked him in the eyes and he returned the deepness of your own. “Please?”

“Y/n, about last night… I’m really sorry. I was drunk, I shouldn’t have gone there and bothered you with my shit”.

“I can forgive you for last night if you tell me the whole story”, he looked down to his feet before you could finish the sentence, breaking eye contact with you. “Jimin-ssi, I deserve to know”.

He turns his back, delicately closing the door of his car. He, then, turns back to you, finally looking into your eyes once again, the surprise from his eyes is gone and you’re not sure of what you see there.

“All I can say is I’m sorry for last night, but”, he leans and rests his body against his car, displaying an annoyingly nonchalant expression on his fucking face as he shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell”.

At this moment you remember why you hate his ass. It’s ridiculous how he can look you straight in the eyes and lie to you after the scene he pulled hours ago in your house.

You take a deep, frustrated breath.

“Fucking bullshit! Thanks for reminding me how much of an asshole you are, Jimin. I almost forgot”, you smile dryly. “I hope next time you drink, you don't show up at my doorstep whining again, ok? Next time I’ll call the fucking police”.

With a smirk, he declares. “There'll be no next time, Y/n. Rest assured”.

“Well, praise the lord, huh?” You reply in a sharp tone, not allowing him to say his piece. “I regret every single tear I’ve wasted on you. You… You were the worst mistake I’ve ever made”.

He glares at you with contempt plastered all over his face, his plump lips tightened as his brows rose. You wish punching people in the face didn’t cause as much trouble as it does, because you can swear to all gods that have ever existed that the only thing you want at this moment is to punch this expression off his face.

“Say that again”, he challenges you, brows still in the same position as before, with a darker shade of brown on his eyes.

You refuse to give him the satisfaction.

“You’re not deaf”, now you’re the one who answers challengingly, raising your own brows as you try to speak calmly. “Next time we bump into each other, do me the favor of pretending you don’t know me”.

You turn your back to him and march back to your own car, hating yourself for dragging your ass all the way to this fucking bar again, only to have him mock you. You rush back into your car, knowing fully well that there’s a big chance that Jimin’s still observing you, so you can’t allow yourself to cry. You were not even sad, you’re genuinely pissed, but unfortunately you’re an angry crier.

You could run over him if it wasn’t a crime. As you are about to connect the keys to the ignition, you hear a soft knock on your window and you just know it’s him. Rolling your eyes, you turn your head in Jimin’s direction and he gestures, asking you to roll your window down.

You do as he says and hiss impatiently. “What?”

“One last fuck and we’ll forget about each other”, he licks his lips in an obvious attempt to make you feel something.

Unfortunately, you do. But fortunately, you’re pretty good at hiding your emotions when you really want to. So you just throw your head back and let out a very ironic laughter.

“What’s so funny, Y/n?” He asks you, with a piercing look in his dark eyes, tilting his head to the side slightly.

“I just told you you were the worst mistake I’ve made, man…” You let out another laugh, less energetically. “Are you into degradation now? I’m not really into that kind of kink, sorry”.

“Oh, come on, Y/n. You fucking love angry sex”, he declared in a lower tone, with a raspy voice that he knows makes you feel things.

He has a point, you do love angry sex. As you keep silent, Jimin continues.

“Let me take you to my place, it’s just around the corner…” his eyes focus on your lips as he speaks. “Let me fuck you, until you forget why you’re mad at me. You know how good I am… Just this one last time, then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist”.

You do know how good he is. You hate to admit, even if it’s just to yourself, but he’s more than good. Your sex life with Jimin has always been great, actually, that’s why you got even more hurt when he cheated. You used to think you were enough for him, that you satisfied him as much as he did to you. Apparently not. And that broke your confidence and self esteem in a way that you’re still trying to recover.

You’re pissed at him, but you can’t deny that you’re still insanely attracted to this motherfucker, regardless of your history. Your mind desperately says no, but your but urges you to say yes.

“Why would I say yes to this ridiculous proposition?” You scoff, trying to mask the fact that this is you already starting to give in.

“Simply because you know you want me to fuck you”, he declares with a knowing smirk.

The way he’s looking at you right now is definitely not helping you to stay focused on maintaining your sense of dignity. His plump lips slightly parted, forming a deliciously attractive dirty grin, his eyes intensely glued onto your own lips as he waits for your answer. You can’t deny how magnetic he feels.

He leans further in your direction, cupping your face with one of his hands, running his thumb over your mouth. You are simply unable to stop yourself from delicately parting your lips, taking his thumb between them and sucking it softly. He lets out a heavy breath, locking his dark eyes with you as your skilled tongue runs along his finger.

“Let’s go, babe”, he almost begged this time.

He didn’t have to ask you again, unfortunately. He opened your car door and next thing you knew, he was dragging you up the stairs of his building until you saw yourself inside his small apartment.

As soon as you were inside, he pushed you against the front door and started kissing you hungrily. Just like the last kiss inside your place last night, it feels like Jimin is hungry for you, it feels like he can devour you right then and there. His tongue tastes yours with desperation, making it difficult for you to breathe. One of his hands lands beside your head, on the door, and the other travels up your body, from your waist to your boobs.

The kiss is messy and intense, not only for him, but for you too, your mind can’t seem to focus on anything other than Jimin. It feels like time and space aren’t real when you’re with him, just like it was then.

Reaching for the hem of his shirt, you tug it in order to get rid of it as quickly as possible, getting rid of yours in the middle of the way too.

“You missed this, didn't you?” Jimin places your hand on his abs as he whispers with a cocky grin.

“I think you missed these much more”, you reply with the same amount of cockyness as him, guiding his hands to your boobs.

“Oh, I fucking did”, he whispers again, mouth already glued to your neck as he kneads your breasts.

In the back of your mind, a little annoying voice tries to warn you, saying you will regret this later. But, honestly, who gives a fuck? Life’s hard enough for you to worry about future regrets. You’ll hate yourself for fucking Jimin when the times comes, right now, all you want to focus is on his devious tongue and the crazily good patterns it’s drawing all over your neck. You’re so lost into Jimin’s magic that you don’t even realize you let a moan escape your lips driving your ex even more mad.

His mouth is back on yours and he pushes you towards the couch sitting in the corner of his small living room, throwing you carelessly against it. His tongue is already pushing his way between your lips, you close your eyes, focusing only on the intensity of Jimin’s kiss. It feels like you’re back to the beginning of everything, this kiss feels like what it felt like kissing Jimin for the first time. The passion is still there and you will deal with it later.

“Let’s get rid of this, shall we?” He asks you, pulling the strap of your bra down, almost not waiting for your nod of approval.

You both sloppily get rid of the rest of your clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor of your ex’s living room. Next thing you knew, he had two fingers in you and your nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked your nipples in a passion that had you gasping and his fingers were bent inside your thoroughly wet pussy. He knows exactly what he’s doing with his fingers and his mouth, he knows exactly how you like it and that’s why it feels so good. Being with someone who knows you and what you like is so much better than spending the night in a stranger's bed like in the countless one-night stands you’ve had the past few months.

“You’re so fucking wet right now, babe… It’s ridiculous how much you want me to fuck you, huh?” He teases you, lips brushing lightly against your already sensitive nipple as he speaks.

You let out a loud moan this time, staring back at his intense black eyes, and nod.

“I do, Ji”, in a distressed attempt for grounding, you scratch his back with your nails, not minding if it’ll leave him marked or not. He gasps and you continue.

“Please, just fuck me, Ji-”.

“Of course, babe, anything you ask”, he cuts you mid sentence.

He pulled his fingers out of you and, before you could whine about it, he shut you up with another messy kiss, but also full of desire. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted both your bodies up, switching places with you on the couch. He positioned himself between your legs, making the tip of his cock touch your wet and throbbing folds.

“Rid me, Y/n”, he asks you, half tenderly, half assertive. “Show me how much you miss me”.

You felt something inside you shake. This is so fucking wrong.

But without thinking too much about it, you let your weight down on his cock, feeling the delicious stretch all at once. Both of your breaths falter, basking in the divine sensation of him being inside you.

Your hips started moving on their own, as the pleasure started to consume your mind completely. You had your eyes on Jimin’s beautiful face, now fully taken over by lust, darkening his features in an irresistible way. His plump lips parted and he moaned, making you forget completely about everything else around you.

Your movements were starting to become desperate, feeling the way his cock fills you up completely, as he tries to pick up your speed with his own skillful hips. Both of you were loudly showing how good you can give it to each other.

His hand travels up your body, as he lifts his upper body to reach the back of your neck. He sticks his tongue out and licks the side of your neck, the warm and moist sensation makes you close your eyes instantly.

“If you don’t take it slow, I won’t last much longer, babe…” He whispers, as he grasps your hair tightly. “Can I take over now?”

You hum. You love being in control, but you love it even more when Jimin is in control. He instantly switches positions with you, thrusting hard the moment your back touches the couch, in a slower, but deeper pace compared to how you were riding his cock just now.

The intensity of his thrusts have you clenching around his cock. Shaky breaths leave both of your lips, both of you too focused on the ecstatic feeling of being together. The sounds of your wet pussy being snapped against his cock, his balls slapping against your naked ass mixed with your moans and pants.

“I could…” He thrusts you one more time, deeper than before. “Fuck this pussy forever”.

You feel your walls clenching tighter around his cock, not missing a single inch of his length being pushed inside of you.

“Look how… how good you take it, babe”, he groans in your ear with his cock buried deep inside of you.

You feel his cock twitch and another moan escapes his parted lips. You’re both almost out of breath. You know he won’t last much longer now if he continues to hammer you in this intensity. Your body tingles with pleasure with every single thrust of his hips.

At this point, you’re just a moany mess. Your heart is racing and in every pump you can feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins. Jimin’s thrusts start to become desperate and out of pace, while you can feel the burning sensation building in your lower stomach.

One of your hands travels to your clit, your head snaps back when your fingers finally touch your throbbing sex, feeling the divine sensation spreading throughout your body. Jimin replaces your fingers with his own, with a cocky grin hanging on his swollen lips.

“Fucking slut, look at you…” Moving his fingers in circular patterns as he pants and thrusts and gazes at you with his dark, lusty eyes. “You still like it messy, huh?”

“Ye-”.

Before you could finish, the electric sensation takes over your whole body and all you can focus on is the pleasure taking over you. You whimper as the orgasm spreads through your veins, screaming Jimin’s name. Clenching even harder around his dick as your pussy spilt out your juices all over his twitching cock.

He bites your shoulder and you feel like he’s on the brim of cuming too.

“Ji, I- I want you to fill me up”, you whispered in between your pants. “I want it all”.

“Y-Yeah?” You know he’s struggling to hold back by the sound of his shaky, low pitched voice. “Are you gonna take all of it like the good girl that you are, babe?”

You want him so bad. You want to feel everything you missed out on in the last months away from him.

“I will, Ji, please”, you looked at him, eyes pleading as you gave yourself completely to him. Once again.

He thrusted deep inside of your pussy one last time, allowing his orgasm to take over him and cuming deep inside of you, painting your clenching walls white. Both of you are too out of breath to move, so you just take your time breathing and trying to recompose yourselves before Jimin pulls out of you. Sweat covering both of your naked bodies on a weekday afternoon.

You closed your eyes, feeling the tiredness and soreness, but also the delightfulness and the lingering sensation of pleasure. This motherfucker was right, what you two have is not easy to find. This chemistry.

You open your eyes when you feel Jimin’s body weight being lifted up from yours. You take your time looking at him and he is still just as beautiful as you remember. Not just hot, that’s obvious. But he’s also beautiful like very few men in the world are.

He sees you’re staring and smiles cockily.

“Too handsome, huh?”

“Unfortunately, I have to agree”, you roll your eyes, almost playfully.

He laughs softly and throws himself on you again, laying his head between your breasts and hugging you. It’s ridiculous to admit, but it just feels right.

Both of you remain silent. The only thing that can be heard are both of you trying to catch your breaths, but you don’t even pay attention to that. You’re nervous. There are so many questions you wanna ask and even though this feels right at this moment, this man made you suffer like hell not so long ago.

“Ugh, I don’t wanna get up”, he declares in a lazy voice, his face still between your breasts. “You almost make me want to miss work”.

You sigh. This is too much, too domestic, too nostalgic, but you want to be right here, exactly like you are, in his arms. All the things he said to you yesterday flash through your mind. How he said he missed you, how he begged for you two to talk and you refused to listen. You were hurting so much you couldn’t see through the pain and resentment.

“I’ve missed this”, you finally confess in a whisper.

But you’re sure he could hear you, because his arms closed even tighter around you.

“Me too, babe”, he murmurs the answer.

Your hand travels up to his silky hair, running your hands through his locks. You’re not sure how long you just stay together like that, enjoying each other’s existence silently, but you finally break the silence.

“We still have a lot to talk about, don't we?”

He lifts his head to look you in the eyes. “Do we?”

“You think we don’t?” The protesting tone was clear as you voiced the question, specially because you didn't find anything genuine in his eyes when he asked you that question.

“We don’t”, he averts his gaze, laying his head almost between the crook of your neck and your shoulder.

“Jimin, look at me…” You try to sound as firm as possible, but it sounds more like a plea than a command.

“Baby… Just- Let’s not do this”, he whispers. “I can’t”.

You lift your body with your elbows so you could look at him, making him untie his arms around you and sit as well.

“What do you mean, Jimin-ssi?” You try again, speaking slowly so your nerves don't get the best of you.

You don’t want to believe that this is true. He can’t treat you like you’re some random booty call.

“Hey!” He tries giving you an obviously empty smile. “What happened to Ji? I prefer when you call me Ji”.

Also sitting up, bending your legs in order not to touch his anymore. The way he’s speaking to you right now, the way he’s looking at you with empty eyes and an empty smile. You know where this is going and you feel sick to your stomach with the idea that you allowed Jimin to get in your head again and, once more, you end up hurt.

“And I prefer when you tell me the truth!” You raise your voice now, trying to find on his face any signs that you might be wrong.

“I thought I had made myself clear when I said I have nothing to tell you”, he states firmly, averting his gaze from yours. “I have already asked you to forget about this”.

You feel a huge lump in your throat, trying your best not to allow the tears to form in the corner of your eyes. You are not crying in front of Park Jimin ever again. You refuse. Even though it hurts just like it hurted before, you’ll save your tears for another time.

“Really? After fucking me, you’re just gonna ask me to get the fuck out of your life like nothing happened?”

You watch his face contort, like he was profoundly thinking about what to say next. You suddenly see his expression change and you know this is his sassy snarky side taking over, nothing serious comes out of him when his eyes reflect his darker side like that.

“I was horny, you were horny. I thought it was clear it wasn’t a bargain”, he still doesn’t look at you while he speaks. “It was just sex”.

And he shrugs. It’s clear to you that this shit’s been a fucking joke to him. A sick fucking joke you never expected him to be capable of. This is not the Jimin you spent years with, the one you loved, the one you wanted to get married to at some point in the past.

His words cut through you. Just sex.

You hate everything about this Jimin.

“Of course it was just about sex… I’m sorry if I misunderstood the situation, Jimin. ” You push his legs aggressively so you can get out of the couch. “Excuse me, I wanna leave”.

You start collecting your underwear and clothes from the floor of his stupid house, trying your best to block the tears away. You dress yourself hastily, while Jimin watches you in silence. You head for the door, but he holds your arm lightly, trying to stop you.

“Hey, Y/n… Don’t be like that, I’ll feel guilty”, he pleads softly again.

“Get your hands off of me”, you groan between your teeth without turning to face him. “Also, fuck off”.

He lets go of your arm and you leave his apartment as soon as you can, slamming the door behind you. You rush back to your car and drive away as fast as you can, only allowing yourself to cry your anger and pain out when you’re tucked in bed later that day.

#jimin angst #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin fic #jimin fanfiction #jimin fanfic #jimin series #jimin smut #jimin au #exes to lovers #bts fanfiction #bts series #bts fic #bts fanfic #i hate everything about you #bts smut #bts x reader

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hyungieyoongi · 2 years ago

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I’m Fine

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst + Exes to Lovers

Word Count: 1.1K

A/N: Requested by anon for my follower milestone celebration!

“I’m fine.”

Two words. Repeated dozens of times to everyone around you.

“It’s been a few weeks since you broke up? How are you feeling.”

Well, I haven’t slept in three days, and I cried again this morning.

“I’m fine.”

“Did you see the last interview he was in? He looked so happy. Did that hurt to see?”

Of course he’s happy without me. He moved on already. Meanwhile here I am still heartbroken.

“I’m fine.”

“Do you want to go to the party tonight? Taehyung promised he and Jimin weren’t going.”

Seeing all of our mutual friends without him would hurt more than staying at home alone.

“No thanks.”

“Are you sure? Are you okay if I still go?”

“Of course. I’m fine.”

An endless loop. A broken record.

You said the two words so often that you started to believe them. Six months after your breakup with Jimin and you were convincing yourself, along with everyone else, that you truly were fine. It was easier to play pretend than admit that you were broken being without him, your last conversation replaying itself in your mind.

—

“I don’t understand.”

“There isn’t anything to understand, Jimin. It’s done. We’re done.”

“We’re not done. You can’t just dismiss our relationship, Y/N. I deserve more than that. We deserve more than that.”

“It’s too much, okay? It’s all too much. The pressure from your fans, the fear that I will do something wrong or say something to make them hate me. They will always choose you, and they should, but I can’t keep living like this.”

“I know it’s been a lot but, please, don’t give up on us.”

“You’re going solo for the first time in a decade. You need your fans to be on your side. I’m holding you back.”

“I need you on my side, Y/N, you have to believe me.”

“You won’t need me. I promise. You’ll be fine.”

—

It was easy to pretend you were fine when you were hiding away from the world. But today you had finally been convinced to go to a small party that your friend was hosting. You had checked and then triple checked that Jimin wasn’t going to be here. Looking at him across the room, you couldn’t help but feel deceived.

“Go talk to him,” a deep voice murmured at your side.

“Tae, I can’t,” you responded, immediately recognizing his voice.

“He’s hurting. He’s been acting like he’s fine, but he’s not. He misses you terribly. I know you miss him too.” You nodded, deciding you needed to get this over with. It had been months; it was time.

You rolled your shoulders back, attempting to stand a little taller, to feign confidence. Your fingers were shaking slightly; you clutched the strap of your purse tightly in one hand, drink glass in the other to try and hide it. You crossed the room toward him.

“Jimin,” you breathed.

His eyes searched your face. His expression was serious, lips in a slight frown at your guarded demeanor.

“Y/N. How are you?”

I want you to wrap me in your arms and pretend like the last six months didn’t happen.

“I’m fine.” His mouth twisted slightly at the curt response.

“Tell me the truth.”

“I am.”

“I think you’re lying.”

“It is not for you to decide what is true and what is not when it comes to my feelings.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about them.” You let out a breath, already tiring from your verbal sparring match.

“Please, we can’t do this here,” you pleaded.

“Why not? You won’t return my calls. You’ve been avoiding our friends so you don’t have to see me,” Jimin accused, frustrated. “Do you hate me that much?”

“I don’t hate you, Jimin.”

I love you.

“Then what is it? Why can’t you talk to me? Why can’t you see me? We were friends before we were together, but ever since we broke up you’re acting like you don’t even know me. It isn’t fair, Y/N. None of this is fair. So explain it to me.”

“It hurts, Jimin,” you admitted, heat crawling up your neck as you finally let out your feelings. “I can’t see you or talk to you because it hurts too much. I can’t see you because if I do I won’t be fine anymore. I will remember how much I love you and it hurts.”

You looked toward the ceiling, willing your tears to stay in your eyes. You didn’t want to cause a scene—your conversation in the corner of the room with Jimin was already a point of tension at the party. Everyone was politely milling about, pointedly avoiding looking in your direction.

You wiped angrily at a tear that fell, fingers trembling against your cheek despite your best efforts to stop them from shaking earlier.

Jimin reached out, wrapping your hand in his own, squeezing it tightly to stop the anxious movement.

“I haven’t been fine,” Jimin said quietly, eyes wet. “I haven’t been fine at all. I’ve been miserable without you.”

You sniffled, looking at your interlocked hands. Jimin stepped closer to you.

“I don’t think you have been fine, either.”

You looked up, meeting his concerned gaze. Your body deflated slightly at his statement. After months of pretending, the one person who always knew the truth saw right through your lies.

“We need each other, Y/N. I need you.”

You nodded, words stuck in your throat. He was right, of course he was right.

“Can we leave and go somewhere? Just to talk?”

“Okay,” you answered, voice cracking slightly.

You followed Jimin out of the party, nodding at Taehyung on the way out. He gave you a soft, knowing smile.

You stepped out with Jimin into the cold city air, shivering slightly at the wind. You pulled your coat closer to your body, hands attempting to get warm in your pockets. Jimin stepped toward you, removing his scarf from around his neck and draping it over you, wrapping it snuggly around your neck to keep you warm. It smelled like his cologne. You breathed deeply, the smell comforting you as Jimin smiled gently at you.

“You want to know something?” Jimin asked, hand cupping your cheek, fingers warming the cold skin.

“Yes.”

“I think we’re going to be just fine.”

---

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jeonggukieverse · 6 months ago

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Ryeon rebrand + new motivation to write = SEND YOUR FIC REQUESTS IN BABES!!!

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muniimyg · 4 months ago

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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (16) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

series m.list // taglist request closed

note: please prioritize your mental health and peace if the following content is too heavy for you. this portion of the plot has a lot of angst, and arguing. overall contains sensitive topics. thank you all for waiting so well for the break-up reveal!

tw: mentions of anxiety/stress/insomnia/ and postpartum depression,, early pregnancy loss (5 weeks), and self-neglect.

🏷️ permanent taglist:

@joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo

"so... jungkook moved back in, he bought you a new car, and this entire time you've been broken up—you've been sleeping with him?"

it feels stupid to confess everything to your therapist.

you’ve been avoiding this for 9 months now.

today it has to be settled.

it has to be over.

this feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you want to throw up over and over again until you have nothing left inside of you. your lips tighten at the way your therapist blinks at you. you've never really been able to read her, but maybe that's what you like so much about her.

sometimes, it's nice not to know and just to take what people say as they are.

"he's not actually moved back in... he just has more closet space."

your therapist notes something down on her pad. then, she looks at you and simply comments, "i see... is that all you think it is? more closet space?"

"y-yes? n-no... no. okay, it's not like we're not back together though..." you begin to explain yourself.

"but you've been sleeping with him the entire time you guys have been broken up?"

you make a face.

your therapist tilts her head and lets out a light sigh.

"i'm not judging. you two are adults. you both have needs. you both need each other. you both love each other. i'm just clarifying that—"

"okay, yes," you yield. "i have been sleeping with my babydaddy but haven’t gotten back together with him... i mean—we kind of are? to be fair, the break-up wasn’t a real break-up... it just grew into one. i take the blame for the dumping because i was the one who pulled away. so inevitably, i can't help but feel like a villain in all of it... am i? am i the villain? zion had this whole thing about what family is like, a home with another kid from his daycare, and it... it made me feel so guilty. jungkook and i talked about it and worked on it... i know he doesn't blame me, but every time i bring myself closer to... what do i even call this? ... forgiving him? forgiving myself? i d-don't know... all i know is that... every time i want to move on and just be happy—with him. with zion... with my life—i can't find it in me. i pull away, and it hurts everyone around us. sometimes, i wonder if they know it hurts me too."

"what does that mean?" she asks, her tone soft and curious. "good job getting that off your chest. you're doing great, ___."

mumbling a 'thank you,' you sigh and shrug your shoulders. honestly, you can’t think. your mind goes blank. she then sits up, fixing her posture. leaning forward, she makes her observation.

"___, you broke up with jungkook 9 months ago because of the circumstances. sure, he was supportive and understanding, but sometimes, when everything gets too much, the only person who can fix you is yourself. ___, it was a lot. it was heavy. one thing I've noticed about you is that you think and speak as if everything has to be this big thing. you know your emotions are bigger than the problem, yet you suppress them. it's okay to feel them because when you don't, you start to lose yourself. sometimes, it sounds to me like you want to burn the room down for people to empathize with you... for people to see you. for you to see yourself even."

"i don't want to burn anything down—"

"it's an analogy," she explains. "the truth is, for you, being burned out isn’t a thing until you can’t get out of bed. burnout is as simple as not wanting coffee anymore. sometimes, it's losing yourself to stress and anxiety... and people see that. jungkook, your friends, and your parents saw it. you don’t have to prove it. ___, you can’t keep pushing yourself until you can’t run anymore. you have to slow down. you have to let yourself be tired and learn how to rest."

you nod, agreeing with her take. then, you make another confession.

"i understand that," you take a deep breath. "but it’s like… before i knew it, i was upset and unfit for our relationship. i screwed up too early. that's why i broke up with him... but now... i don’t know. the guilt and blame keep pointing in different directions. i don’t know what i'm doing, and i can't do that. i can't not know when it comes to the father of my child and the love of my life."

your therapist purses her lips and offers you a small smile.

"then, ___... is it possible that things are better now? that it's more than his clothes in your home? that the room isn’t burning anymore? is it that maybe... finally, you’re realizing that being tired and burnt out is a part of life? ___, you’ve done nothing but get everything right since your childhood... to let your feelings—good or bad—be true and big isn’t a flaw. it’s you being human."

her words hit you, but not enough to stop your insecurities. with shaky eyes, you ask her, "w-what if i do it again?"

"do what again? burnout?"

"what if i fuck up everything about my life again? my career? motherhood? jungkook and i’s relationship? it hurt so bad... to wake up next to my family and not feel anything. it was so fucking hard... i couldn’t even pretend that i was okay. a-and when i asked for some air... he wasn’t even mad at me. he packed his bags and lost his breath from crying so much. at the door, he asked me if i was sure... and even though i wasn’t; i said yes...." you explain, your voice growing quieter with each word.

suddenly, everything feels so heavy.

if there was ever a time to understand and relate to the feeling of the world being on your shoulders... this would be that moment. taking a breath, you compose yourself.

"i can’t do that again," you vow. "i can’t change my mind."

"you can’t change your mind again or you can’t hurt like that again?"

you pause.

"9 months ago, my mind kept going back and forth whether or not jungkook cared about me," you confess. "but i recently realized he does. he has. he always will... i just don’t know if i can trust him the same as before... i think i’m a horrible person for thinking that. weird, right? especially with how fucking horrible i am to him now."

"that’s not true." your therapist disagrees. "___, it was traumatic. you went through a lot—"

"—and i will never understand how he held himself together. when he was accused of plagiarism at his company, i took those accusations and sued until jungkook’s name was spotless. it was hard on both of us. he didn’t want me to go that far because they were his coworkers—his ‘friends’—but why... why was he so pathetic then? those people were out to ruin him. they quit the company and went to jyp. they proposed work that belonged to jungkook... it was a conflict of interest! when jungkook launched his work with hybe, jyp accused him of plagiarism. hybe cut ties with him and his company gave him so much shit for losing hybe. and i, his girlfriend and mother of his child, risked my career to focus on his case instead of my clients. i chose him. i did everything to fight for him. then, he told me he wanted to settle and stay at the company... i couldn’t believe it... he had his reputation on the line—his career! mine was too and all for what? because he didn’t want to embarrass his friends? because he didn’t want to cause the company more trouble? then, what about me? what about us?"

your therapist looks at you with sincere eyes. she nods, taking your words in.

"___, does he know you’re still upset with his decision?"

"yes," you sigh, recalling how betrayed you felt. "w-we don’t talk about it. how do we? it felt like i wasted 2 months of my life and we lost our—we lost."

your therapist reaches over and offers you the tissue box. you didn’t even realize you were crying... but the silence between you two and the ache from the words that you just said begins to sting your chest.

after a few moments, your therapist softly tells you, "___, i don’t think you left him because you didn’t love him... i think you left because, despite everything, you did. that hurt because it meant loving him and putting him before yourself... on top of that, you were at a state where you should have been put first."

you gulp.

she purses her lips and makes her hit.

"___, do you resent yourself for the loss?"

you clench your fist as your therapist rubs salt into your open wounds. "the self-neglect? the stress? the post-partum depression? the insomia—"

"i resent myself for the loss," you admit. "... and i resent jungkook for losing me."

when you arrive home, jungkook is in the kitchen cooking.

you didn’t expect him to be home. he was supposed to be picking zion up at this time and you were looking forward to some alone time. clearly, you have a lot to think about. as you take off your shoes, jungkook turns his attention to you.

“hi honey,” he smiles brightly.

truth be told, he had a long day. he was running late this morning and had rushed out the door. as he drove to work, he got annoyed with himself.

he forgot to kiss you before he left.

so you can imagine just how excited he is to see you now… especially with all he has planned for tonight.

“we had a meeting today and it ended early. it went really well so i have some news! also, i picked zion up right after my meeting. took him out for a little father-and-son afternoon... then, i dropped him off at your parents—”

“why would you do that?” you snap, putting your things away.

jungkook chuckles. “uh, maybe because i wanna ask you something tonight…”

your body stiffens.

“but we’ll get to that later! do you want to eat first? i’m cooking your favorite—”

“please stop,” you shut your eyes and take a breath. “jungkook, i had a long day. i’m glad yours was good and you got to bond with zion. i appreciate the effort—i just don’t… i don’t like that you dropped zion off at my parents after picking him up early from daycare. why didn’t you just take him home? and thank you for cooking... but i had a late lunch today, so i’m not hungry.”

“is it so bad i want to spend time with you alone?” jungkook asks, his smile fading.

jungkook isn’t stupid.

he knows you’re not in the mood, but he can’t help but push your boundaries a little. besides, communication is always good, right? at least, that’s what he’s been told.

“it’s okay if you don’t want to eat... as long as you ate today. what did you eat?” he attempts.

you move past jungkook as he asks you the question. taking out your phone, you check for any missed messages. jungkook’s eyebrows furrow as you ignore him. he catches your waist and guides you against the kitchen counter. grabbing your phone from your hands, he puts it aside.

“woah,” he pouts. “what’s up? why are you acting like this?”

you look at jungkook and hate yourself. his eyes are so kind and full of love.

you know it.

you feel it.

it hurts so bad.

“what’s with the mood?” he asks, more gently this time.

jungkook moves his hands from your waist to wrap around you. he nuzzles himself into the crook of your neck and hugs you tightly. “if you’re mad at me about something, that’s okay... but be angry here. don’t ignore me. being angry together is better than not being together at all.”

his plea makes your eyes tear up.

this isn’t easy for you either, but to be honest... it’s now or never. tonight, your heart feels especially heavy. you can’t blame it. some people say time heals all wounds—perhaps, this is it.

this is the time limit.

“can i tell you my news?” he asks, partly trying to stall the conversation and partly because it was good news.

“sure.”

“i got a job offer,” jungkook says. “i’d have to do an informal interview but it’s basically mine if i want it. they’re setting up a branch in new york. they want me to go there for 3-6 months and help start everything up. guide and mentor the visual director there—”

“that’s amazing—”

“i don’t want it,” jungkook chuckles. “they told me to sleep on it and make my decision in a month. until then, they offered me a raise! isn’t that great?”

your smile drops.

all of the feelings you’ve been trying to regulate since you stepped out of your therapist's office today feel like they’ve gone out the window. was he serious? he declined such a big step in his career—for a raise?

“jungkook,” you croak. “do you know why we broke up?”

he pulls away.

what a fucking switch up. he doesn’t understand.

for a moment, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. does he reach out to hold yours or keep them by his side? he’s caught off guard. he doesn’t know how to answer you and frankly, he fucking hates this question.

“uh, why are you asking me—”

“what was the other thing?” you ask, already suspecting it. “are you going to ask me to marry you tonight?” you blurt.

he shoves his hand in his pocket.

“jungkook, are you asking me to marry you tonight? yes or no?”

he blinks at you.

his heart is prepared more than ever; “yes.”

“don’t.”

jungkook’s heart drops.

“don’t because you’re saying no or don’t because you want a better proposal?” he attempts to lighten the mood with a smile. he takes his hands out of his pocket and reaches for yours. you don’t let him take it. instead, you shake your head.

“don’t because you don’t even know why we’re broken up.”

instantly, the tension between you two increases. it’s through the roof, actually. it feels like one wrong word, one wrong move, one wrong recalled memory—everything crumbles.

everything fails.

everything faces the end.

“___, i can’t answer your question because i’m not prepared to. honestly, i wasn’t prepared for the break-up. it just happened. it grew into one. ___, you never said, ‘jungkook, it’s over. we’re broken up.’ ... no. you said, ‘jungkook... i can’t breathe anymore. i need air. i need space from us,’ — that’s what you said. but to hell with that, right? we’ve been sleeping together and it’s not like we hate each other. you love me. i know you do... so i really don’t understand why you won’t marry me despite knowing the simple truth—”

you move away from him.

god, it’s so hard to be next to him sometimes.

heading to the cabinets, you take out a glass and pour yourself some water. drinking it, you hear jungkook sigh and groan in frustration.

“are we really going to fight tonight?” he asks, annoyed.

you shrug and put your water down. “shouldn’t we? it’s kind of overdue.”

jungkook scratches the back of his head. his lips tighten and his mind is already dizzy as he asks;

“___, why did you break up with me?”

a beat.

“i wanted more from you.”

he looks at you confused. “the fuck does that mean? sex?”

you shake your head.

“jungkook, i was moving up with my career. you were constantly annoyed that i was overworking myself and that i only cared about zion. you were always mad at me when i brought up work—especially about yours. you didn’t want more. you refused the promotions and all the different leadership roles. you refused more hours—you refused to grow… just like now.”

jungkook huffs. “is this about money again? we’ve never had issues providing for zion and this lifestyle.”

“again?” you chuckle. “honey, it wasn’t about the money. at least to me, it wasn’t. i love you and would have married you regardless of my career path and yours—”

“then why won’t you marry me? you always say you will but you say shit like this. you know it fucks me up, right? this isn’t fair. you can’t keep changing your mind.”

“it’s not that i don’t know what you are to me and what i want,” you take a deep breath. it feels painful to be right. “it’s that marrying you isn’t going to make any of this easier. at least, not right now.”

his eyes are filled with hope.

hope that maybe the reason is childish and not what he knows it really is. he hopes it’s because he left one too many socks inches away from the laundry hamper in your bedroom. he hopes it’s because you got tired of him always queuing his karaoke songs in the car before yours. he hopes it’s because (not really) you actually took an interest in nam joon or something.

most of all, he hopes it’s not what he knows it is.

“jungkook, we were disagreeing on everything. you thought i was greedy for wanting more for myself—for our family—”

“so it’s about whether or not i accept the job offer? i still have a month to think about it. i can’t just leave you and zion. you get that, right? i don’t just leave.” jungkook scoffs in disbelief. “and you act like i didn’t just get promoted. i accepted it, didn’t i? i did so to impress you because i love you. i did it to win you back because i love you.”

“but why didn’t you do it for yourself?” you fuse. “why can’t you want more for yourself?”

“___, i love you—”

you hiss, taking a step away from him. “stop saying you love me when you—”

“when i what?” jungkook steadies his tone. “when i made a decision that you didn’t like? ___, i made a practical choice back then. what other option did i have?”

“you chose wrong,” you cry. “is that what you’ve been waiting for me to say? jungkook, you chose wrong because you were afraid! it wasn’t practical. it was safe. you took the settlement, forgave those friends, and looked stupid while doing it. meanwhile, i risked everything. i fucking fought for you! for what? jungkook, it ruined us.”

jungkook shifts, taking a step closer to you. he runs his hands through his hair and groans.

“___, they have a family too. they fucked up and they apologized. i didn’t go through with the lawsuit because regardless if they deserved it—their families didn’t. their children didn’t. for fucks sake, one of them has a daughter zion’s age—”

a sob escapes your lips.

jungkook’s shoulders slump as he lowers his head. you lower yours too, feeling your tears roll down your cheeks.

“jungkook, i love you,” you weakly admit. “i swear to god, i have never loved anyone more in my life than i have ever loved you. you’re the kindest man i’ve ever met. you empathize with others and put them before your needs. you chased me around like a fucking dog for the last 9 months, completely disregarding any self-respect. truth be told, you gave me a purpose to live. you made me zion’s mom and the love of your life. in so many ways, i don’t deserve you… but i also don’t deserve this. it feels like even when i can't trust you—i still do. it ruins me, jungkook.”

angry, jungkook disagrees.

“what are you fucking talking about—no. don’t say shit like that.”

“you kept me together for so long that i don’t know how to fall apart if you’re not around. jungkook, i had to fall apart. i was so tired then. i was so unhappy and everything you did to hold me together only angered me. it lit this fire inside of me and i felt like i couldn’t touch anything or anyone… why couldn’t you just be sad with me?”

“you fell apart before i could even process what happened—” he recalls, tears threatening his eyes. “___, i was devastated beyond belief. i was sad too. i was afraid too. you don’t think i wanted to cry in bed all day with you? i had to get up. i had to take care of zion and i’m sorry if i held onto you tighter than i should have—but i had to. there was no other way i could’ve lived if i didn’t hold on to you like that. you’re my air. i love you, ___ and in case you didn’t know; it hurt me too. losing our—h-holy fuck. i love you. ___, i love you. please, i love you so much—”

you sob.

you don’t even try to hold yourself together. a heavy cry escapes your lips and jungkook instantly lifts his head and comes to you. he wraps you in his arms as you cry into them.

“i love you,” you whimper. “i don’t blame you for it—really, i don’t. b-but why did you stay? i worked so hard and you chose to stay. i stressed myself out and couldn’t sleep. i felt so betrayed and i wasn’t eating—”

“i know, i know,” he murmurs, holding back his sobs. “i hate myself for it. it was my fault—”

“don’t—”

you pull away and hit his chest.

your eyes sting from all the crying and your throat feels dry. yet, every fiber inside of you feels like it’s on fire. it feels like you’re burning down the room and all jungkook wants to do is slow dance in it.

“jungkook, when you settled, it took something from us. something beautiful—our second—our time.” you slow your breathing to gather the courage to say it.

to say everything.

to say it all and maybe, save it all.

“honey, i d-destroyed and hurt more than you did... and i know you don’t blame me; but am i ever going to stop blaming m-myself?” you sob. “i’m pushed into t-this... corner where it’s all my fault—and it is, you know? if i hadn’t stressed myself over your case and just f-focused on making partner at the firm—if i had just i-ignored the f-feeling of the knife you twisted—it was supposed to be this time around.”

jungkook’s heart breaks.

“9 months...” you say, voice trembling.

“don’t say it like that,” jungkook begs. “my love, i didn’t forget.”

that’s just it.

he hasn’t forgotten either.

yet, his body doesn’t ache like yours does. as much as your heart wants to forgive and find beauty in this tragedy—your body hasn’t healed. all those months ago, when you focused on jungkook’s case and stressed yourself to the bone—you made a mistake. you neglected your health to prioritize everything but yourself.

your breath hitches as you recall everything. a part of you feels relieved to have said it all aloud, but inside, it feels like something has burnt up—like a part of you has died.

you reach for him, cupping his cheeks in your hands. jungkook’s tears spill over, and you gently wipe them away with your thumb.

his body collapses into yours. his sobs wrack his chest as he buries his face in your arms.

jungkook cries for the break-up.

for the hurt that’s grown between you two.

he blames himself even though deep down he knows it’s not his fault.

the ache in his chest feels unbearable. you tighten your hold on him, bracing yourself for what comes next, but before you can speak, your body gives in.

everything does dizzy and you hold your breath.

suddenly, your knees hit the floor, and you collapse in front of jungkook, the weight of it all too much to bear.

“i’m s-sorry,” you choke out. "i can't—fuck. i'm so heartbroken, jungkook. i can't—"

jungkook drops down beside you, pulling you into him. as you cling to each other, you feel his heart racing, his breath catching in his sobs, mirroring your own. he holds you tighter, as if he could take all your pain into himself. if he could, you know he would.

and somehow, in the midst of this overwhelming pain, you feel the strangest thing.

this has to be the most painful moment in your entire relationship, but it’s also the most healing.

after nine months of distance, you finally grieve together.

the grief overwhelms you two.

after what feels like an eternity, you manage to compose yourself, pulling away from his embrace. meanwhile, jungkook is still crying heavily. you reach up, cupping his face in your hands again, wiping the tears from his swollen eyes. he leans into your touch, his lips pressing softly against the palm of your hand, his breathing slowly calming down. but then, he moves closer, and you know what’s coming next.

jungkook tries to kiss you.

you push him away gently, your heart breaking all over again.

“... i think you should go home,” you whisper, your voice tired and cracked.

"___, please—"

"we fought enough tonight. i don't have anything left in me, jungkook... just go."

for a moment, silence hangs in the air, thick with everything left unsaid. there's still more. he swears it. he knows it because his heart races with so many more confessions. so many more things he has to tell you.

like the fact that when you cleared his name, he never felt so loved in his life.

like the fact that when you stressed yourself over him and got upset with his decision—he wanted to take everything back.

like the fact that when he let you cry in bed all day over the loss, he cried as he held and fed zion in the living room.

but now is not the time.

now, the hurt aches and he has to let it. he has to let you fall apart. he has to feel this too because if he doesn't—then he misses it all. he misses everything and he can't do that.

he needs to know.

he needs to learn.

he needs to love.

jungkook swallows hard, his voice barely a whisper. “okay… whatever you want.”

you both stand, your movements slow and heavy. you watch as he gathers his belongings, guilt and disappointment twisting in your stomach. at the door, he pauses, eyes closed as he takes a deep breath.

“what about me?”

his voice breaks the stillness. you feel your heart sink.

“what about you?” you ask softly, though you already know the answer.

“___, i don’t want to go,” he pleads, desperation creeping into his voice. “i… i can’t do this. not again.”

“what do you mean?” you force a weak smile. “this is our first break-up.”

“for real?”

you let out a sad laugh, though it holds no real humor.

“for now.”

jungkook takes a second to compose himself.

“i’m gonna pick up zion and have him sleep over at mine... and it’s okay if you’re still full… just eat a late dinner,” he murmurs softly, eyes cast downward. then, turning toward the door, he looks back one last time, his voice soft but filled with emotion.

“for the record, i thought i was home… but if air, space, and time is what you need, so be it. just know, i hope i’m it in the end. i hope i’m what you need.”

they say the 3-year itch is when the sand timer runs out. it takes two people to flip it over and restart the clock. at your 3-year itch with jungkook, suddenly your careers were where you two scratched.

then, the plagiarism accusations came along. as horrible as it was, you thought this was the perfect opportunity to show jungkook how much you love him. how much were you willing to do for him, and how much could your career benefit you two? at the peak of all this, you didn’t know it.

you were carrying more than just work.

at 5 weeks, 1 week after jungkook settled—time was up.

jungkook sits in his car, crying and staring at the ring that should be on your finger. he can’t help but feel all the sides of it. he shoves it back inside the box and opens the glove compartment. throwing it in, he continues to reflect.

was he insensitive? was he so wrong about not wanting to take the job? the proposal was ill-timed, but was he crazy? weren’t you two doing better? … were you hurting all by yourself this entire time? of course, he hurt too. he was just grieving differently… does that make this his fault? he doesn’t know. he doesn’t care. in the end, losing something is still losing something.

truth be told, it’s no one’s fault.

yet, jungkook hits his steering wheel and continues to sob. he wants to blame something. he needs to. as he searches, his heart screams out;

time.

#jungkook angst #jungkook x yn #jungkook fic #bts angst #jungkook scenario #jungkook dilf #bts scenario #bts imagine #bts parent au #bts fic #jungkook dad au #jungkook exes to lovers #jungkook e2l #jk fic rec

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messyshipper · 5 months ago

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I wrote a jikook exes to lovers fic,

I don't even know if I have armys following my account on here, but I thought i might as well publish the link here as well.

Summary: In which Jimin and Jeongguk have loved each other their whole life before Jeongguk threw it all away without any explanation.

Since then, Jimin tries to cope as his life and career have been turned upside down.

What happens when an accident brings them together once again?

Or the exes to lovers fic I've always wanted to write.

#jikook #jikook fic #jikook au #park jimin #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jimin x jungkook #jungkook x jimin #jeongguk x jimin #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #exes to lovers #angst with a happy ending #minkook #minkook fanfic

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biaswreckmepls · 1 year ago

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Fan-Chosen BTS fics #1 - Jan 2024 - Day 6

Blank Stares, Blank Pages

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40027407

Author: stellataes

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Min Yoongi/Park Jimin

Status: Completed

Chapters: 1/1 (4806 words)

Tags: Producer AU, Singer AU

Summary:

Park Jimin's company forces him to work on music with Min Yoongi, the man who ghosted him after a night spent together five years ago. When they hit the studio together, Jimin realises how little is left of his music-loving hyung.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40027407

#fan chosen bts fics #fan chosen bts fics 1 #bts fic rec #bangtan fic rec #blank stares blank pages #stellataes #yoonmin #yoonmin fic rec #producer au #singer au #enemies to lovers #they aren't really exes so i didn't tag it #1k-5k #it's just a series of unfortunate events that led to misunderstandings #if only their insecurities didn't stop them from having conversations #sigh

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jwirecs · 2 years ago

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hi!!! can u help me find a fic where oc and jjk were exes to lovers with forced proximity (I think it was a class project?) I think it was named after a Conan Gray or Olivia Rodrigo song??…

I remember it was a twoshot but I never got to read the second part🥲

helloo!!

so i went to so some digging and i didnt really get a lot of fics with this description. (first tried it with conan gray, and then olivia rodgrigo)

there was only one fic that came up, its called "Maniac" by @/strawbearytae.

but if anyone happens to know this specific, please do let us know!🥺

#bts scenarios #bts exes to lovers au #bts fluff #bts angst #bts: asks #jjk: asks #anon #replies

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years ago

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Belong (1.5: Rewind) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; kissing; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)

Chapter Word count: 5k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Listen to: You Found Me First by Jake Etheridge; Alone with you by Canyon City || Playlist 🎶

8 years ago

Yoongi is not a stranger to loud sounds.

His brother, Geumjae, is a fan of rock music and used to play it all day, everyday when they were growing up. Yoongi would fall asleep to the sound of drums and electric guitar and gritty vocals of whatever band that the older man was into.

Yoongi’s dad runs an antique shop, a business that was passed down from his elders and which was expanded into furniture restoration. He’d spend his free time there, watching his father use all types of hand and electric tools to scrape, saw, and sand different pieces until the finished product was up to his standards.

It may seem a bit odd but he thinks it’s one reason why he got into sports. He’d watched them as a kid and was amused by the cheers and the grunts that could be heard in the arena and through the TV. There was so much energy and so much excitement, as if those motivated the players even more, injecting in them adrenaline that pushed them, that made them hungrier, that made them succeed.

He understood it during his first pickup basketball game in the neighborhood park when he was 10 years old. A couple of the older boys invited him over to play and the audience, which consisted mostly of the kids from school and some adults hanging around, were hooting, yelling, and praising them once the score got close.

It was electric. Yoongi didn’t always smile but he couldn’t stop himself from doing so after he made the winning basket - a lucky shot, really, but he liked to call it the shot of destiny. There was nothing like it, and he always carries that experience with him. He refers to it as the pivotal moment in his life where he fell in love with basketball, as he told the university newspaper when they interviewed him the other week. It made him think of the possibilities, of the extent of his talent, and the overwhelming joy he could get from going to that court and giving his all to win a game.

He smiles just thinking about it now, as he warms up for the first match of the summer league. It’s off-season for the university teams but this conference is where some other schools and amateur teams compete. He’s unfamiliar with the players but that’s what makes it exciting.

He knows they know him, though. He made national news when he became the youngest MVP at 19. That was 2 years ago when he was a sophomore, but his local fans continued to grow. He was never one for attention but he won’t shy away from it if it’s about his talent. To make it to the professional league, people need to know his name. And he knows that’s not a problem.

“There goes the ‘sweet assassin’ Min Yoongi with a fadeaway jumper and it’s nothing but net!” Jungkook hoots, imitating a commentator as he watches his captain from the sidelines.

“He gets the steal and takes the step back-3!” Yells Namjoon this time. “You don’t leave the ‘sweet assassin’ open like that!”

Yoongi chuckles as he walks towards his teammates. “Stop it. The moniker sucks,” he says, wiping away his sweat.

“You’ve had that since freshman year and you’re complaining now?” Namjoon chuckles.

“It’s cringey.” Yoongi frowns.

“It’s brilliant!” Jungkook disagrees. “I mean, the school paper article revealed your online pseud is ‘suga’ because that’s how much you revere yourself and your shooting guard position and the sports dudes ran with it, gave you a nickname, and it stuck. That’s impact. And it’s pretty cool. The ‘golden boy’ makes me sound like an idol or something.”

Yoongi and Namjoon laugh but insist that the name fits the younger man. He is pretty good at everything.

“I still think the ‘god of destruction’ is the best,” Yoongi remarks, referring to Namjoon, who got the name after the few times that he’d detached the ring from the board after a dunk. “It’s so intimidating.”

The 3 men proceed to tease each other, and Yoongi likes the carefree vibe of off-season games. Though his team still takes it seriously - they’d recently won the university conference so they don’t want to slack - they also want to play with less of the pressure than they normally do. It’s good for camaraderie and better for the start of summer. They want to enjoy and have fun while making a statement through their wins.

Yoongi instructs both men to continue warming up as he passes Namjoon the ball. All of them head to the court to shoot and as the captain, Yoongi looks around to make sure all his teammates are present and are preparing for the game. It’s not a big one but somehow, the locals have come to enjoy the summer league. It’s free and it’s good entertainment, and so the buzz in the gym is enough to get him excited.

The spectators are settling down. He stands by the sidelines and sees familiar faces. There’s a bunch of kids from school and some that he’s met during pickup games. There are neighbors, too, and even that one kid he remembers from high school who’s friends with Jungkook, the one who spilled juice all over his notebook and then cried so Yoongi never spoke to him again for fear that he’d make the younger man upset. The guy’s studying in Seoul now, if he’s not mistaken.

Yoongi’s eyes travel to the person sitting next to him and he swears something goes wrong with his ears because the sounds in the gym suddenly disappear. For a moment, he can’t hear anything. That same instance, everything blurs. Except for the girl with the yellow scarf on her hair, sitting next to Taehyung - he remembers his name now - her crinkled eyes and stunningly sweet smile rendering him speechless.

Being some local basketball superstar means that Yoongi gets attention, and that includes from women who are somehow attracted to his calm, quite nonchalant personality that’s tinged with the right amount of arrogance when he’s on the court. He’s not a stranger to their efforts to get noticed. He’s noticed them, in fact, but not enough to get him interested. It’s rare though for someone else to catch his eyes. But that woman though… that’s someone he’s definitely interested in.

He’s never seen her before. She’s probably from another town, or someone that Taehyung met in Seoul or something. Somehow the idea of her being foreign excites him. If she’s never heard of him, she will now. And she—

The ball hitting Yoongi’s jaw surprises him, causing him to jerk back and find the person who probably embarrassed him in front of the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He’s not surprised to find Seungkwan rushing to him, apologizing and falling to his knees, saying that he called the captain’s name and threw the ball, thinking it would be caught.

But when Yoongi looks at the woman, she has her eyes elsewhere. He sighs in relief, telling Seungkwan that it’s okay, but when he looks towards the benches again, she’s now looking at him.

He swears his heart stops. But it’s not like him to show it.

He holds her gaze for a while, liking the effect it seems to have on her as she shyly smiles and tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. But for his sake he really hopes she’d look away.

The coach calls for the team to huddle and Yoongi’s the one who has to break the moment, turning his back to run to the sidelines. He looks in her direction again and smirks to give her something to think about and maybe cheer about, and the bite of her lip says he definitely did.

“Is it possible to get an orgasm from just looking at someone?” You ask your best friend Taehyung. “Or like, when you both look at each other and there’s that tension you feel and you just… get turned on?”

“I literally just spoke to someone for a minute and you just eye-fucked somebody?” He gasps. “You’re quite something.”

“Hey, you’re the one who told me to scout the players and tell you who I find cute so you can introduce me to them,” you shrug. “I just did what you asked. He just happened to be looking at me when I found him. And shit did he look at me.”

“Who is it?”

“Number 3.”

Taehyung chokes on his drink. “Seriously? That’s who you eye-fucked? Out of all the guys on the basketball team, you choose the Captain Min?!”

“The who?” You say. “Ah, right. His jersey said Min. I was kinda focused on… uh, other things.”

“Okay, woman. Behave. We’re in a public place,” Taehyung reprimands you. “Also, I’m serious. He’s the one who caught your attention? Jersey number 3? Dark hair, white headband?”

“Yeah, the one listening to the coach with his tongue dragging through his teeth,” you say, eyes on the group of guys in a huddle. “Yeah, definitely him.”

The man in question seems to be listening intently but his eyes shift to you briefly and you feel that tightness somewhere - your heart, you think, and you swallow. Hard. You don’t know if he saw it but he smirks at you again so there’s a high chance he did.

Taehyung sighs and you turn to him.

“Why do you sound so scandalized?” You ask.

“I’m not!” He defends. “I guess I was just expecting you to like someone like number 7.”

You search for the man in question. Nice build, boyish looks.

“Yeah, he’s cute,” you say. “But not my type.”

“Or number 1.”

Much more built. He’s like a baby giant.

“I like his dimples,” you answer. “And he looks so soft, I want to protect him.”

“There you go,” Taehyung smiles.

“But I want to be protected,” you counter. “And small build guy number 3 there looks like he will. He’s gonna scare the losers away and tell them to fuck off and then I’ll let him fu—”

“Okay, ___, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he glares at you.

“What’s wrong though? Is he an asshole? Do people not like him?” You badger your best friend.

“No, it’s not that. People revere him around here, actually,” Taehyung explains. “And well, girls try to get with him but he doesn’t really pay them any mind.”

“Does he eye-fuck them? If not, then I think I’m his exception,” you argue.

“You make a good point. So maybe I don’t need to introduce you to him. Maybe he’s just gonna introduce himself!”

“That’s not what you told me, Tae,” you frown. “You said, I point a guy and then you introduce me.”

“I didn’t think you’d choose him!”

“Hey, did he bully you in high school? Is that why? Because if it is, then screw him! No one messes with my best friend.”

“It’s not that! Everyone likes Yoongi. They just don’t wanna mess with him, including me. And I… well,” he trails. “I accidentally spilled my juice all over his notebook once and he looked at me like he wasn’t affected but that made it even scarier. And then he just never talked to me after.”

You groan in frustration. You would think that based on Taehyung’s reaction, the man is some jerk or untouchable being. He just happens to have a perpetually disinterested face and that’s honestly something you like. He seems like the type with a no-nonsense attitude and you’re quite the same. Most times, at least. There’s definitely something to explore there.

You watch intently as he carries the ball, skillfully dribbling it and evading his opponents. He makes a smooth shot to the elation of the crowd, and unlike his teammates who grunt and make some form of over-exaggerated gesture, this man merely smirks, perhaps to himself, as he runs backwards to get to the other end of the court. It’s incredibly sexy, you think, how his seemingly quiet nature hides something a little cocky underneath, especially since he’s got something to show. You’re not the most knowledgeable at the sport but you can easily tell he’s good at it.

“So, you’re gonna introduce me, right?” You turn to Taehyung during a timeout.

“Uh, I think you can perfectly do that yourself,” he chuckles awkwardly. “I mean, you’re good with people.”

“Tae, you’re such a wimp. You said you’d introduce me to whoever I choose!”

“We’re not doing this again,” he groans. “Look, we’re going to Jungkook’s place after, okay? Yoongi likes to drink after a game so he’ll definitely be there. I’ll make the guys introduce you to him. And I can’t promise anything because from what I heard, he’s never made a move on anyone and the ones who make a move on him get turned down so… good luck, I guess.”

You scowl at your best friend. This is the first time he’s ever bailed on you, considering he’s your hype man all the time. When you first entered university, you were both a bit intimidated by all the big city and international kids but he got out of his shell first and then pushed you to do the same. They bore good fruits, insofar as you enjoying yourself and then getting a boyfriend, even if it didn’t last long.

But this isn’t your territory, even if you were raised here. There’s not much of the city that feels like home. You barely kept in touch with your high school friends, too, mostly because you spent more time at drama class, and so you don’t have control or leverage here. It also just so happens that the guy you’re interested in isn’t the friendliest even if you think he’s being a tease. You’re up for the challenge, though.

“Well, thanks for the encouragement,” you roll your eyes. “But a guy with soft features like that doesn't look all that hard and intimidating to me. I bet he’s a softie deep down.”

“Soft features? Are we talking about the same guy? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile.”

“Tae, we made eye contact. It’s like a blink-and-you'll-miss-it type of softness. Or maybe you just don’t look at him long enough,” you explain.

“I definitely don’t.”

“Well then in that case, Mr. “I don’t care about shit” might be all caring and sweet on the inside,” you hum, as you eye him again and catch him asking his teammate if he’s okay. “I’m here long enough to find out.”

Jungkook’s apartment is close to the university, in an alley near the bars and other student accommodations. It’s spacious even with his gaming computer and weights, and he’d set up the living and dining room area to accommodate the guests. You look around the place and think it’s much bigger than the one you and Taehyung share, and you know why post-game hangouts take place here.

Your best friend said a couple of the guys from the team and a few of their friends usually come over to drink. You can tell, by the way Jungkook is the perfect host, keeping the table with snacks and drinks stacked and by the way he converses with you - charm and cheekiness combined.

He really is cute. He’s got a sparkle in his eyes and an innocent smile, and you can tell that’s part of his appeal. But you’ve got your eyes set on someone, someone who just happens to not be here.

You look around once more and wonder where he is, and just as you’re about to ask Taehyung, the man you’ve been looking for enters. He’s in knee-ripped black jeans and an oversized cream t-shirt with a baseball cap on. You feel your throat dry immediately and your eyes follow him as he walks towards the table and opens himself a bottle of beer.

You hear your name being called and you turn to one of the guys next to you who’s asking what you’re taking up in university. You’d forgotten about the conversation you’re in, as you immediately get sucked into the presence of jersey number 3, who’s now relaxedly leaning against the wall, looking around himself. He catches your eyes once more and you so badly want to just go up to him but you admit that you like this - him watching you from afar as you talk to someone who isn’t him.

“I’m taking up acting and film,” you say. “I really want to become an actor.”

“Well, you have the looks for it,” Jungkook comments.

“You think so?” You flash a smile, playing along.

“Yeah. A lot of us do,” he smirks.

A couple of the guys laugh but nod in agreement.

Not that you intended to be flirty with these men and get their attention, but the cute top and hair scarf outfit you put on was a good idea. Even the other girls seem amused by you. You just wonder if someone else is.

“You guys are quite charming, aren’t you?” You giggle.

“Of course we are. This is how we welcome people in our group,” Jungkook smiles. “How long are you here for again?”

“The entire summer,” you say. “Enough time to be charmed by you?”

You aim to tease, really, especially when Jungkook blushes. You don’t actually have any intention with him but a part of you was maybe hoping that it would ignite something in the man you’re really interested in. You’d like to think so, as you turn to him again and see his hardened gaze. It’s like he’s assessing you, trying to read you. It makes you a bit exposed but you like it. Whatever this thing you’re both doing, it’s exciting, something you didn’t expect about coming home since you left for college 2 years ago.

“Oh my god, this is like watching my friends flirt with my sister,” Taehyung whines. “Please stop.”

You all laugh and he claims it’s a little awkward, but he does say he’s quite protective, warning anyone who wants to win you over.

You all go back to chatting around until Jungkook, like the good host that he is, announces that it’s time to play and get batshit drunk.

You all gather around in the middle and play number games, something you’re good at. You mostly survive, needing only to take 3 shots that don’t really make a dent in your system. Then you play a card game, which you also do well in, and it gets the group cheering for you to your delight.

You constantly look towards the couch where Yoongi stays, as he’s the only person who doesn’t join the games. Taehyung says the man isn’t into them and no one really forces him. You see the times he smirks though, especially whenever you survive. You'd like to think he’s secretly cheering you on and it oddly makes your heart race. For all the eye-fucking, the milliseconds where his look softens gets you feeling all giddy.

By the 6th game, some of the guys have loosened up more than the others. They’re laughing more, teasing more, flirting with you a little more directly, and they’re at least funny and not that disrespectful. You laugh and tease along and you really could go on doing more of these games, until Jungkook suggests to play spin-the-bottle.

The rules are simple - one person spins the bottle and whoever it lands on will be the one they’ll kiss.

“We’re too old for this,” Namjoon claims, even as he sits himself in the circle you all form.

“We never are,” Jungkook chuckles. “Plus, we’ve got a good number of guys and girls in here,” he says. “It’ll be fun.”

You take your seat on the circle right next to Taehyung and you look over at the couch again, biting your lip and cocking your eyebrow this time, as if daring Yoongi to join, given that the guys say that he absolutely hates participating in this.

Not tonight apparently, as he walks over and nudges Namjoon with his foot.

“Oh, so now you’re playing?” The big man laughs. “I wonder what made you decide to finally join us.”

Yoongi sits down across from you, unbothered once more.

He just shrugs. “I was getting bored watching you guys be terrible at the games.”

The group laughs before they begin. Of all the nights when you wish the spin-the-bottle gods were on your side, you wish it was tonight.

The bottle thankfully misses you for the first 4 times. When it’s your turn, you position it in the direction that you mentally calculated would land on Yoongi with the force you put in.

It’s quite nerve wracking, not knowing if this would work, but as the bottle slows down and the desire for it to point towards him heightens, you start to think that if this fails, you’re gonna have to just survive it and then find another way to get your chance at kissing him.

And then it stops. Right in between him and Namjoon. Your heart breaks a little as you compare the distance, especially as the other people whisper the name of the man it’s pointed towards.

“Hmm,” Taehyung says, “the bottle’s closer to—”

“Me,” Yoongi says, surprising everyone. “The bottle’s closer to me.”

His eyes are locked on you and no one dares to challenge the man, especially with how firm he sounds as he claims himself as the chosen one.

“By all means, go ahead and kiss, then,” Jungkook states, surprise and amusement laced on his face.

Yoongi, instead of scooting to the middle like everyone had done, stands up and reaches out for your hand. You take it and come face to face with him - finally, and you’re speechless as you stare back at him. There’s this certainty and desire in his eyes, you’d like to think. It’s captivating and it’s making you feel hot and definitely turned on.

“Do you mind doing it in the kitchen?” He asks you. “I don’t really want them to have a front row view.”

“I don’t mind,” you say, trying to sound calm.

He takes your hand again and walks ahead to the kitchen nearby. You’re still visible but like he wanted, there’s enough distance for the others not to have a close up look of your kiss.

Yoongi leads you to stand by the counter, finally able to get a clear look at you. He’s been wanting this since hours ago and he couldn’t wait to get the chance to get you alone. You’ve been surrounded by all the guys since he arrived and well, he doesn’t blame them. You’re stunning and charming and you have this sparkle in your eyes when you talk about acting. He’d had enough of just watching from the couch and catching your eyes because yes, he’d noticed you glance at him and he liked that, liked that even if you had everyone else’s attention, you seemed to only want to get his.

He honestly hates this game. It got him in precarious situations the few times that he indulged the guys by playing and at one point, he just stopped joining. He couldn’t pass up on this, though, not when there’d be a chance to kiss you. If you didn’t get paired up together, he’d still find a way. But he didn’t want anyone else to have the chance, so he took his. And well, maybe sort of cheated.

“So…” you start. “The bottle was definitely closer to Namjoon, you know? Anyone could tell.”

“I know,” he hums. “I could tell you wanted it to be me, though. And I really wanted it to be me.”

“Well in that case, what are you waiting for? Seems like the audience is getting impatient,” you giggle, prompting him to turn towards the living room where the entire group is anxiously anticipating when you’d both just make out.

“I don’t really care about them,” he says, walking closer to you then caging you by the counter. “I mean, I was hoping this wouldn’t be a quick one.”

Your thighs clench in reflex. He still has a bit of that teasing smirk on but he also looks quite serious, as if there’s a chance you’d turn him down, as if you haven’t been gazing at each other since the game.

Licking then biting your lips, you smile. “I don’t do quick kisses.”

“That’s good,” he smiles now, eyeing your lips. “Neither do I.”

He dives in right away and your eyes close the moment you feel his lips against yours, soft and electrifying as you expected. He starts slowly, loosely, giving you a chance to pull away if you want. But you don’t, craving for him instead as you try to keep him against you longer.

It becomes his cue to deepen the kiss and that’s when you feel the warmth of his breath and then, the warmth of his tongue, seeking entrance that you too quickly give. You feel him smile against you and you fall into it even more. Lips melding onto his, you savor every bit of him that you can taste. There’s bitterness from the beer but it’s a taste you could easily be addicted to. It’s him, after all, and he’s just as good as you imagined.

It’s a little daring for you, you could admit that. You’ve gone to parties and flirted around, kissed guys for fun and then walked away. You’ve never made out with someone right as you met them, though, and especially without even getting a proper conversation in. But Yoongi is captivating in a lot of ways and the way he tastes definitely doesn’t disappoint.

Just as you’re about to think of other things that would definitely make you even wetter, you feel his hand cup your cheek and he keeps it there, not so much to direct you where he wants but… to caress you, to savor you, especially as he keeps his steady pace.

He’s not rushing. He’s not asking for more, as his other hand remains clenched on the counter and his hip remains distanced from yours. He’s just going, feeling all that he can feel with this kiss and humming his satisfaction.

It’s your hands that can’t control themselves, as you grip his shirt and try to get him closer.

He does, but only for a while.

He pulls away and watches you open your eyes. There’s only a hint of disappointment in them. Perhaps like him, you just let yourself enjoy that moment. And it was a damn good one. You tasted sweet from the cocktail you had and there’s this comfort in the way your lips feltl against his. It’s quite addictive, and he applauds himself for not pushing to do more.

He thumbs your cheek one last time before his hand descends to cover yours that’s now gripping the counter.

“I’m Yoongi, by the way,” he smiles.

You burst in laughter and your head leans on his chest.

Cute, he thinks.

“And I’m ___,” you reply. “It’s nice to meet you. Finally.”

“You’ve been waiting for this, huh?” He cocks an eyebrow.

If this were any other cocky, self-absorbed guy, you wouldn’t indulge him. But that kiss alone told you that this man is so gentle, and you’d quite like to be a little vulnerable with him.

“Embarrassingly, I have. I saw you at the game and thought you were pretty hot,” you chuckle. “I asked Tae to introduce me to you.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi hums. “You wanna know what’s embarrassing? I saw you in the crowd and I couldn’t look away. I got hit by the ball because I didn’t hear my teammate calling me.”

The way your cheeks warm is immediate. How can he turn you on and then make you feel all giddy?

“That’s… pretty cute,” you giggle. “And not embarrassing at all.”

“I’d still prefer it if you don’t tell anyone.”

“Not a single soul,” you promise, smiling cheekily.

God, he’s so weak for your smile. How did he go about all 21 years of his life without this?

“Are you done?!” Jungkook yells from the other room. “We’ve been waiting on what’s gonna happen after you two made out like you’re the only ones in this place.”

The laughter tells you they’re just teasing.

“Well, we didn’t ask you to wait,” Yoongi turns back to tell them. “We could’ve gone on much longer.”

He turns to you questioningly. “If you want.”

“That’s an option,” you chuckle. “Or we can get out of here and figure it out?”

“Anything in mind?” He asks, standing up straight now.

You want to kiss him and straddle him and tear his shirt off and so much more. But you decide you want to start with the gentleness first. You think that if you look long enough, you’ll see it behind the nonchalance and unreadable expressions. Somehow you just know that whether it’s daring things like kissing an almost-stranger or talking about anything or gazing at each other’s eyes, Yoongi would be up for it. You’re here for the summer and you have time. And you definitely want to take your time with this one.

“Would you like to grab some coffee?” You look up at him, hoping he’s thinking the same.

“Just coffee?” He teasingly smiles.

“Yes, Yoongi. Just coffee.”

He nods and takes your hand. He walks with you to the living room where everyone is staring at both of you with a mix of shock and amusement. No one looks disappointed, though, and even Taehyung is wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“We’re going to a cafe,” Yoongi announces. “And for the record, this is the last time I’m ever playing this game.”

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