#bruh BUT MY LIL RICH BOY FANTASIESSSSS
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
READ THIS AFTER U READ THE TAGS I RAN OUT.
but anyway the confession ?!!? god hes down so bad LMAO what a little muffin top
and omg the ppl at his place giving u knowing looks đâđœ how embarrassing i fjsjdjdj BUT OMG THE SMUT WAS SK HOT THE WAY HE KISSED IT LIKE 3 TIMES BEFKRE HE ATE IT
we love a man
and the way he :( has lil freckles :( and heâs not a boy anymore but heâs a man and he isnât ashamed of aging now and :( he looked at u waiting for ur reaction :( sobs i wanna kiss his liddol freckles my pretty baby my gorjus liddol toru
sobs the way he said i love you đ„ču know itâs serious when being balls deep got them moaning ab how much they love you
RELEARNING TK LOVE HIMMMMMM and when u said ily too đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č im so glad they found each other again
BUT THE END WAS SO SILLY DJSJFJSJD THEYRE FOOLS I LOVE RHEM
this was saur good sexi lexi I LOVE EX HUSBAND GOJO
yes, i'm ready (to fall in love)
ââ Ëââ©â§â genre: smut, fluff, mild angst
ââ Ëââ©â§â synopsis: after reader is persuaded into putting herself back out there by long time friend, shoko, she successfully ends up scoring a date. unbeknownst to her, though, the gods have different plansâand one of them seems especially interested in her relationship with ex-husband, gojo satoru.
or in other words: a failed date results in a night of passion amongst former lovers.
ââ Ëââ©â§â contents: 13.5k words, ex-husband!gojo + co-parent!gojo, slight dub-con (alcohol use), dumbification, overstimulation, vaginal penetration, unconventional form of contraception (pull-out method - donât do this), pussy eating + one oc for the sake of plot
ââ Ëââ©â§â note: i know this is really long and most people donât have the attention span for it but PLEASE give it a chance! this is literally the longest piece of fiction iâve ever written and iâm really proud of it :(
songs to listen to for best reading experience: donny hathaway - i love you more than youâll ever know barbara mason - iâm ready partynextdoor - showing you bryson tiller - been that way
After you divorced your ex-husband, and decided to devote all of your time to being a mother, you never really considered getting back into the dating world. Not that you didnât eventually want to settle down with someone new, but the dating world now was just soâdifferent.
Different in the sense that meeting people organically was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasnât like how it used to be in high school or college, and it really didnât take that much effort then to get a manâs number by the end of your outing.Â
When you were in your early twenties, a brush of your hand on a manâs arm wouldâve worked. An âaccidentalâ bump into someone at a grocery store or cafe mightâve ended in a quick lay. Using these tactics today, though, might earn you some weird looksâhaveâearned you some weird looks.Â
Youâre on call with a friend from college when you begin recounting something embarrassing that happened to you recently. At first, the conversation started out about all of the professors you wouldâve slept with (if given the chance), but then, one thing led to another, and she asked you something that made you wince:Â
ââHowâs your dating life been since, you know, Satoru?ââÂ
Thereâs a heavy silence from your end, and she almost thinks you hung up.Â
âI mean, if you want to share,â she splurts, attempting to approach this gently, âI know that after the divorce, I wasnât there for you like you needed, but Iâd like to make up for thatâif youâd let me.â
Shokoâs always been like that. Blunt and charismatic, but gentle and zephyr-light in the way she cares for those closest to her. Itâs a trait of hers that you admire, because not so many people would care to treat your heart with such fragility.
âNo, itâs okay. You can ask, you know, itâs not this secret thing,â you start, sighing before continuing, âit happened, and it was a mutual decision.â
Shoko hums on the other side, âWell, Iâm still sorry. I let us go without talking for far too longâŠâ
âWell, I accept your apology, even if itâs unwarranted. Like I said, it was mutual andâŠthere wasnât really an intense grieving period for me? The only thing that hurt me is that you distanced yourself. I mean, the girls did miss their aunt ShokoâŠâ you say, trying to make her feel bad but not too bad.Â
âI know, I know, Iâm a bad aunt,â she jests, then the tone shifts to something serious. âI think I was just scared because both of you were my best-friends. I didnât want to âpick sidesâ, but I see now that it was a mutual decision, so Iâm assuming you two are on good-terms?âÂ
Again, you pause, âI mean, yeah. Satoru will always be my best friend. We may not be together romantically but heâs such an integral part of my life, I couldnât do thisâall of thisâalone.â After you say it, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest that you didnât know was even there.Â
You think nobody would understand if you told them this. You think theyâd question how a person could divorce someone whoâs supposed to be their best-friend. And with the way you describe it, theyâd probably think you were still in love with him. But Shokoâs different, she gets it. Which is why saying it to her came so easily.Â
âHe is a great father,â she chimes in, âbut you two rushed into it so quickly, I donât think either of you had time to discover yourselves after college.â
Although she canât see it, you smile. Because she gets it. Even if time did place itself in between the two of you, she was there for most of it, when things were still touch-and-go. When things were fresh, and clumsy.Â
âExactly, that was our biggest gripe,â you admit, âWe didnât afford ourselves that time to grow, and I think that hindered our relationship. We werenât husband and wife first, we were parentsâand we were young, way too young.â
âYou made it, though,â Shoko tries to brighten the mood, âyouâre both amazing parents, and I know those beautiful girls that you created are lucky to have you.âÂ
The intimacy of the conversation sends your emotions into overdrive. You quickly realize how much you missed her, how much you yearned to talk to her. To reconnect on this level.Â
A single tear cascades down your cheek, and you try not to sound like youâre crying when you say, âOk, enough about that. You wanted to know about my shitty dating life, right?â
It happened last week, the grocery store incident. You were out picking up a few things for dinner when you spotted a cute guy standing outside of the aisle a few rows from you. He was fit beyond measure, in looks and strength, and was wandering around aimlessly in pursuit of red pepper flakes.Â
Coincidentally, you just happened to be in the seasoning aisle, and like the good samaritan you were, decided to personally hand-deliver it to him.Â
You wince as you vividly recall the embarrassing ordeal that ensued immediately after.Â
âHey,â you peer from behind the aisle, with a bottle of red pepper flakes in tow. âI heard you mumbling about finding this, and you looked pretty lost, so I thought Iâd pick âem out for you.âÂ
The manâs brows furrow briefly before his lips up-turn into a grateful smile, âOh, cool, thank you so much!â As quickly as the conversation started, it ends even quicker. He gives you a final nod of endearment before heâs turning around on his heels to resume his shopping.Â
âGod, could he be any more dense? The men today really make you work for it, huh?â you mumble to yourself, pulling the bosom of your blouse down until a good amount of cleavage is on display. âOkay, alright. You got this, you got this. This always used to work, right? Yeah, men love boobs.â
Walking up to the man again, you try a different approachâa bolder approach. âNot to be a bother but I was wondering if I could-â
âBabe? Oh, there you are,â a new voice interjects. The owner of the voice emerges from around the corner and walks up to the man with a cart and a baby in tow. Youâre stunned, to say the least. All you can do is stand there and blink in complete and utter dumbfoundment. As you remain in their presence, you take a moment to analyze the woman. Sheâs gorgeous, and toned. A real model-type broad, with feline-ish features that make so much sense paired with the man who appears to be her partner.Â
Oh, you think, and apparently say aloud, too. Thatâs when the woman turns to you, finally acknowledging your much smaller, and much quieter presence.Â
âHi, can we help you?â she smiles, and itâs actually genuine. Toothy and perfect, and totally not jealous. You blink once, twice, before gathering your wits to answer her question.Â
âYeah, uh, no. I actually, uhm, was helping your h-husband. He was looking for red pepper flakes,â you mutter embarrassedly, and point to the bottle in his hand. Upon further observation, you notice that she isnât exactly wearing a ring. You find this odd, especially because his not wearing a ring is what encouraged you to pursue him. Carefully, you prod.Â
âIf I may ask, how come neither of you are wearing rings?â The couple gives each other a look, one that makes you feel like the odd man out. A look that is universally known, and without a doubt, could easily be translated to: âdid this chick really just ask that?â
Still, you smile as you wait for an answer. The woman takes the initiative. âYeah, we donât really believe in rings, isnât that right, babe?â she says so matter-of-factly. You blink again for what seems like the thousandth time, because of all things, you did not expect that to come out of her mouth. Her husband is quick to validate her statement.Â
âYeah, we think rings are unnecessary, you know? You donât need a piece of metal to confirm your feelings,â he says walking to his partnerâs side and wrapping an arm around her.Â
Disgustingly, the two give each other googly eyes before locking lips briefly. You can tell theyâre the type to probably share this information with just about any soul who asks. Today, you just happened to be that unfortunate soul.Â
âAre you married?â she queries, tilting her head against her husbandâs chest.
âI was, now we justâŠco-parent,â you purse your lips, ready for this entire interaction to be over. The woman frowns at your answer, and this time itâs not as genuine.
âAwe, well, Iâm sorry to hear that.â
âIt was actually a mutual decision,â you quip.
âOkay,â she smiles, widening her eyes at her husband to signal a departure, âwell, it was nice meeting you, and thank you for the red pepper flakes.â
The family turns away and heads to the front where check-out is. You donât even buy the items you intended to purchase, just leave your cart in the middle of whatever aisle you abandoned it and leave the store.
âOh, baby, you didnât?â Shoko asks in horror. You nod your head, still forgetting she canât see you and the way youâre sliding down against the wall.Â
âI did, and I shan't ever again,â a laugh erupts from your throat.Â
âI mean, fuck, are we getting old? âDonât believe in rings,ââ she mumbles, âDonât believe in rings, my ass! Is this what the youth are doing these days? Not proposing with rings?â
Now that you think about it, you wonder how that would even work. âYeah, right? I mean, how does that even work? âWill you marry me? But, actually, you should know I donât have a ring for you, so people will have to guess that weâre together purely based on vibes and energy,ââ you mock, in a not-so-great man voice.Â
Shokoâs laughing so hard by the end of your bit that she breaks the sound barrier, and the sound that makes on the phone sends you into your own fit of laughter. You laugh so hard it seems like a stream of pee comes out. Curse your developed incontinence after motherhood.
âGod, youâre so stupid, I canât breathe,â she says exasperatedly, and you know that on the other side sheâs probably keeling over in her bed.Â
âOh, please. I bet you havenât laughed this hard in a long time, bitch.â
âI havenât,â she cackles. This back-and-forth continues until the two of you settle down enough to continue discussing your (pee-inducing) love life.Â
âYou tried any dating apps?âÂ
Itâs a simple and valid question, but it only makes you laugh even harder. You only stop when the other side of the line goes quiet. âWait, seriously?â
âYeah, seriously. Itâs what everyoneâs doing these days! Youâre not that old, you know.â
âShut up,â you kid, â itâs just that I never considered it. I mean, dating apps feel so impersonal. How serious do people even take it?âÂ
âSure, thereâs people who use it for casual hook-ups and stuff, but a lot of people do come out of it with a relationship. Just donât knock it âtill you try it.â
âOh?â you muse, curious. You wish Shoko could see your face, and the weird little dance your brows were doing. âShoko, have you used a dating app before?âÂ
The brunette kisses her teeth. âCanât get anything past you.â
âNever.â
Thereâs a sense of hesitance but you encourage her to elaborate because âshe became estranged from you for almost a decade and needed to pay her duesâ. Sighing defeatedly, she eventually acquiesces.Â
âFine, fine, maybe IâveâŠbeen on a few dates,â she starts, ââand had a few one night stands, maybe more than a few, and maybe even dated a guy that turned into my stalkerââ
âIeiri Shoko! You naughty, naughty girl! Wait, stalker?â
âTo make a long story short, I got a restraining order on that creep. Anyway,â she segues, attempting to change the subject, âWe should make you a profile!â
For the rest of your phone call, Shoko guides you through all of the dating app basics. She offers her expert advice as you scroll through your camera roll for potential photos to use. You go through about a hundred before you finally settle on five that she really likes.Â
The one that she tells you to put first is a photo of you in a bikini. Itâs a few years old but she says you look âradiantâ and that your âtits were practically spilling out of the cupsâ. Plus, for further consolation, she says most people on dating apps are liars.Â
âEveryoneâs got at least one old photo on their profile, doesnât make you a catfish,â she quips, âjust means youâre a nostalgic person!âÂ
âRightâŠâÂ
The next one is a selfie. Youâre smiling big in it, showing your gums, and itâs genuine. Shoko says guys like those types of photos because it shows them that youâre approachable. It also won her over because itâs fairly recent, too.Â
Out of all your photos, thereâs only a select few that were taken within the year. You had to admit to her that you never really took photos of yourself anymore. Satoru took most of your candids. Still, she had a mission. And she wasnât going to be satisfied until she stuck around to see your first match.Â
âAfter the selfie you should put the one of you with the girls.â
The picture sheâs referring to is one Satoru also took. You remember that day fondly, and even now, the memories feel like a warm embrace.Â
about 8 years ago . . .
âDad, mom, look! Hurry!â Hana, your oldest, shouts. Satoru and you are sitting on a blanket up on the sand dunes with Haruki, whoâs trying her best to make a sand castleâto no avail.Â
âWhat is it, hon?â Satoru and you rush over to her, snatching toddler Haruki in the same breath. When you get to the scene, a flood of warmth washes over you upon discovering the âthreatâ.Â
âSee, itâs baby turtles!â Hanaâs squatting in the sand, watching with pure and unfettered fascination as the hatchlings crawl north to the ocean. When she looks up at you, with eyes so bright, and a smile so big thatâs missing two of her front teeth, you want to cry.Â
âOh, hon, thatâs beautiful,â you gasp, lowering to your haunches so that you can join her. Satoru is about to follow suit before deciding at the last minute to go back to the blanket. When he returns, he snaps a picture unbeknownst to you. Eventually, though, you turn your gaze to him and he capturesâwhat he used to think thenâthe âprettiestâ photo of you.
âYou sneaking photos of me?â you squint, pointing at him. He trods closer until heâs standing above you. Then he snaps another. Your headâs tilted up, and youâve got one eye open, and the other closed because of the sun. He always liked when you squinted like that because it made your nose do this cute little scrunch.Â
âYup, âcause youâre my muse.â
Youâre pulled out of your daydream when Shoko says your name on the other line.
âYou still there?âÂ
âYeah, itâs justâŠâ
âJust what?â she queries, waiting for a response.Â
âI wanna use it, but my ex-husband took it. It feels weird, you know? And do I want to use a photo of me with the girls?â
âHon, who cares if Satoru took the photo? Itâs still a good photo, and to answer your second question, why wouldnât you include a picture with your girls?â
âI donât know, I guess Iâm just afraid no one will be interested. Nothing about a picture of a mom with her two daughters exactly screams âfuck meâ.â
Shoko lets out a small chuckle but youâre being serious. âOh, sweetie. Youâre so cute. Milfs are in these days, I donât think Iâm the one getting old, I think itâs just you!â
âHa-ha, laugh at the mom,â you feign annoyance, but give her a laugh in return.
âBut seriously, please use that photo. Nobodyâs going to skip you just because youâre a mom. A lot of men on there have kids of their own, just gotta tweak your settings,â Shoko reassures you.
By the end of your call, the profile is set. You thank your old friend for the previous heart-to-heart conversation, and the time she spent helping you set up your profile.
âKeep me updated, and donât talk about mom stuff, okay? Now, Iâm not saying you canât talk about them,â she begins, âbut show these guys your personality! I know sheâs in the closet somewhere hiding next to our old slutty clubbing clothes.â Â
Then, the both of you say your goodbyes and she wishes you a good-luck on your newly established dating journey. As you lay in your bed, you give your profile a final onceover. Not too bad, you think to yourself.Â
You ended up using all of the photos she had originally picked out for you. Even the beach photo. To compensate for your old photos, though, Shoko made sure that your prompts were witty and full of personality.Â
âIâd match me, I think. No, yeah, these are funny. She did a good job.â
The following day, you open your phone to fifty notifications from the dating app. A tingle of excitement shoots through your body from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head. It takes all of your might not to squeal in the office.Â
âHoly fuck,â you whisper at your desk. The amount of notifications that you initially saw on your homescreen read â50â but when you opened the app, it showed you an overwhelming â100â with a fat plus sign next to it. âWait, are these all the people who liked me? Shokoâs gonna flip.âÂ
Getting up from your chair, you make a beeline to the nearest bathroom. Not that you have to use it, but so you can scroll through all the potential prospects without your boss seeing you on your phone.Â
Pulling open the door to the bathroom, you close it shut behind you and lock it. A few minutes pass in the time youâre able to get through about half of the people who liked you. You end up skipping a lot of them. Theyâre either too young, too self-absorbed, creepy, or just downright not your type.Â
Some stick out, though. Even trick you into thinking theyâre potential matches, but then the other shoe dropsâbecause thereâs always another shoe. Youâll scroll through their profiles, and theyâll seemingly have all the perfect traits: intelligent, witty, handsome, tallâand then, boom. You see their âdonât want kidsâ preference. Every failed match only discourages you more and more.Â
Itâs weird, because your profile preferences are set to âhave kidsâ and you even have a photo pictured with your girls. So why are men liking your profile despite that? After a few more scrolls, youâre just about ready to head back to your desk but thenâyou have a hit.Â
Your finger hovers over the âxâ at the bottom of the screen, then retracts. The guyâs profile at first impression is miles better than the rest, itâs almost too good to be true. His first photo is what piqued your interest. Itâs of him posing for a silly photo with his sons, and heâs got his arms draped around their shoulders.Â
As you scroll down his profile, you see that thereâs even more of him with his children. You take this as a green flag. He wants people to know he has kids, and that he isnât embarrassed to show them off. You admire him for it.Â
The last few remaining photos are an amalgamation of selfies and full-body photos. To the average, well-adjusted adult, looks wouldnât be a deal breaker. But he definitely wasnât too bad on the eyes, and you were not complaining about thatâespecially, after the odd men you had to scroll through to get here. In other words, he was gorgeous and still fit despite being older than you (him, respectively being in his early forties).Â
Checking the time on your phone, you realize that youâre pushing your little âbathroom breakâ. Before heading back to your desk, you decide to respond to his first photo.
You: Cute! Could never get my girls to stand so still for a photo like this now haha :)
Work goes by slower than youâd like, but finishes up just in time when you get a notification from the dating app. Youâre a little more excited than youâd care to admit. Tidying up your workspace, you say your goodbyes to your colleagues and head to the elevator. Absent-mindedly, you rush to answer his message but realize it wonât go through because of the elevatorâs poor service.
Kazuki: Oh, theyâre moody and grown now, donât be fooled. I can't remember the last time I saw my youngest smile.Â
You donât answer his reply until you get home. Actually, you do just about everything but answer his reply: check on the girls, shower, prepare dinner, pour a glass of wineâyouâre nervous, and you donât know why. But you know you should probably answer soon before he becomes disinterested. So you get comfortable in bed with your glass of wine and pull open his chat.
You: Lol, know that all too well. Kids are little assholes, arenât they?
The speed in which he reads your text is startling, you donât even have enough time to close out of the chat. Then, he responds.Â
Kazuki: Hell yeah they are!Â
Kazuki: Sometimes I want to strangle my youngest. Heâs at that age where heâs starting to rebel and question everything. I told him he was supposed to be the âeasyâ one, but his knucklehead brothers are bad influences on himâŠTell me, does it ever get easier?
You: Sounds a lot like my oldest. She used to cling to me like a koala but now sheâs the ring leader, and Iâm the enemy. My youngest still loves her mama, though (for now lol).Â
You: And to answer your question, Iâd like to think so?Â
You take a second before continuing your response. Shoko told you to keep the mom talk limited, but this seems to be working for you so far, and heâs genuinely interested in what you have to say. So for once, youâre going to ignore her advice.Â
You: Kids go through phases. It's our job to reassure them that weâre not going anywhere. No matter how much they push us away or try to, that is :)
Kazukiâs chat bubbles pop up, then disappear. You think heâs deciding on what to say.Â
Kazuki: I can tell weâre gonna get along great. Itâs nice opening up like this, you know? Talking to another parent. If I'm being honest, dating apps have always intimidated meâŠ
Kazuki: People see kids as âbaggageâ, and it really bothers me. My kids arenât baggage. Theyâre the best parts of me. And if someone doesnât see that, then we have no business getting to know each other.Â
Kazuki: Sorry for getting all sappy. Just felt like I needed to say it.Â
His apology makes you frown. It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear someone talk about their kids so lovingly, because you feel the exact same way. Youâre glad you downloaded the app, and you make a mental note to thank Shoko again later (after you debrief her about this).Â
You: Never apologize for speaking about your kids! And if weâre being absolutely transparent, that was my biggest gripe with downloading this app, too.Â
You: Iâm so glad we matched each other. Iâd like to get to know you more. And Iâm hoping the feelingâs mutual?
Kazuki: Itâs more than mutual.Â
Kazuki: Donât want to get ahead of myself but how do you feel about dinner? Thereâs a cool high-scale restaurant in the city that I havenât been to yet. Heard itâs got two Michelin stars despite opening up not too long ago.Â
The prospect of going on a sit-down dinner date has your stomach in knots. Itâs been a hot minute since the last time youâve done so, but youâre eager to know the man behind the screen on a more personal level. Plus, being treated to a high-scale restaurant with two Michelin stars doesnât seem too bad either. Youâre never one to turn down free dinner.
You: Iâd love to, but how soon we talkinâ? Gotta see if itâll align with my schedule.
Kazuki: Howâs this Friday at 8 sound? :)
The days leading up to Friday breeze by in a blur. For the majority of the week, it feels like youâre walking on cloud nine. Eventually, the conversation transitions from the dating app to exchanging phone numbers, and since then, the two of you have been texting back-and-forth everyday.
You talk about mundane things. Work, shows, movies, books youâve recently read, what your kids are up toâbut the other things? The other messages are flirty, and sexy, and filled with so much tension that it could cut a rope in half.Â
In between messages, the two of you have also exchanged a few photos. Nothing risquĂ© or anything of that nature, just random photos of you throughout the day. The last one he sent was a few hours ago of him at work, captioned with: âCould this meeting be any longer?â.Â
You reply to the message with the âha haâ reaction, in consideration of not wanting to get him in trouble at work (even if he was the one who initiated the conversation). As the days go by, though, you make it a habit to update Shoko every step of the way.Â
Her first reaction to hearing about him was enthusiastic. That is, until you showed her screenshots from his profile. You vaguely remember her saying something that was meant as a compliment, but came out more like an insult.Â
ââOh, heâs a dad!â was her initial response, âoh, heâs a dadâŠand he really loves his kids. Youâre meant for each other.ââÂ
When you tried to ask her what she meant by that, she changed the subject. Every update since then has earned slightly more positive reactions, though.
Today, you ask her for more advice. Only this time, youâre on video call.Â
âShokoooo,â you drawl, âour date is tomorrow! You have to help me find something to wear.â The panic in your voice is so palpable, she can almost feel your shaky hands through the screen. Flipping the camera, you hurriedly pan your phone around the closet.Â
âBreathe, girl, breathe,â she demonstrates first, before telling you to repeat the same motions. âTake me to that section over thereâno, not that oneâwait, yep, there.â You amble over to the area sheâs directing you to through the phone.
âWhatâs that black little number right there?â She points. You prop the phone up on a shelf and scour through the section, tugging out a dress you havenât seen in ages (which has you questioning how she even spotted it because it was pretty far back into the closet). Walking back into frame, you hold the fabric up to your body.Â
Shoko nods in approval, âThatâs the one, babe. Try it on!âÂ
Itâd been about a decade since the last time you wore this dress. Itâd also been about a decade since you were ever this small. Looking in the mirror, you run your hands over every surface inch, every crevice of the dress, in a newfound sense of appreciation for the adult weight youâve gained since becoming a mother.Â
The dress was always stunning but it hugged everything perfectly even more so now. When you walk back into frame, your friend gives you a look of pure adoration. Sheâs so enthralled that she snaps a few screenshots for keepsaking.Â
âThank god itâs Satoruâs turn to get the kids tonight,â she says, ââcause youâre definitely getting some tonight.âÂ
You roll your eyes, reminding her sheâs on speaker phone. âOh, please. Itâs just dinner!â
âNot in that dress,â she retorts, wagging her finger in the camera. While the two of you continue to chat about the details of tonight, a knock on your bedroom door draws your attention.Â
âMom, can I come in?â the voice sounds. Itâs Haruki.Â
âCome in, hon!âÂ
After you give the ok, you turn to Shoko and mouth to her to behave. Haruki turns the knob and enters, closing the door behind her. She sees you standing in front of the mirror before you see her, and silently utters a âwowâ. Youâre just about done putting your earrings in when you join her in the other room.Â
âWhat do you think, bun? Does your mom look hot?â you spin around, smoothing your hands down the length of the dress. You wait in anticipation for her approval, because if anyone could tell it like it is, it was always going to be a kid. Your Haruki was no exception.Â
âYou look really pretty, Mom. Iâm glad youâre going out tonight, I mean, you donât really have friends so I think this will be good for you,â she elaborates, though you wish she wouldâve stopped at the compliment.Â
Still, it puts a smile on your face to hear her verbalize that sheâs okay with you doing something for yourself. You never quite discussed the prospect of getting back out there with your kidsâand not even intentionally. It just never felt like the right time.Â
âYou couldâve stopped at the compliment, punk!â you grab her, then wrap her in your arms, âbut thank you. Love you, bun.â
âLove you more, mama.â Neither of you make the effort to pull away. Instead, you both stand there. Hugging, breathing, embracing each otherâs warmth. You donât always get hugs this good, so when you do, you savor it. Drag it out until your arms and legs get all tingly.Â
Or until someone interrupts. Another knock on the door. This time itâs Hana.Â
âEw, whatâs going on?â Hana feigns a look of disgust. You know sheâs just jealous; sheâll never admit it, though. Which is why sometimes you have to force her to participate.Â
âGet over here,â you scrunch your nose, forcefully pulling her into your tight embrace. She tries to protest but eventually accepts defeat. You squeeze them both until they whine that they canât breathe anymore. Then you squeeze them some more because this oneâs for you.Â
âMy special girls,â you breathe in, taking in all of their love. Soaking it all up so that tonight you have the courage to try again. To allow yourself a love of your own. When you let go, thereâs a sniffle from the closet. It totally dawned on you that Shoko was still on the phone.Â
âTheyâre so big now, they donât even know their auntie,â she fakes a sob, blowing her nose into a tissue.Â
âMom, whoâs on the phone?â Haruki queries with a confused expression etched onto her face. It suddenly dawns on you again that although youâve been communicating with Shoko again, you havenât exactly told them.Â
âHey, you came in here to tell me something right, Han?â Your attempt to change the subject is poorly done, which doesnât come as a surprise to you considering deflection has never quite been an ability you excelled at. Nonetheless, the look of suspicion they give you after is fleeting before they explain to you in unison that their father is here.Â
âYour fatherâs been waiting down there this whole time and nobody cared to tell me?â you whisper-yell, left eye twitching to emphasize your ill-preparedness. The girls only shrug their shoulders in response, like this was something you were just supposed to know.Â
âWell, you did force us into a hug and make us do all that Kumbaya stuff,â Hana mumbles under her breath.
âOkay, enough about all that. Are you guys all packed? Where are your bags? I donât want your dad seeingââÂ
âYou donât want dad to see your date, right?â Hana raises a brow, all knowing. Sometimes she was a little too smart for her own good. You want to blame that on the private schools Satoru had them enrolled in, but really you just know sheâs just a menace in her own right. She learned that from him.Â
âI agree with the kid,â a voice chimes in. You rush to the closet and grab your phone from the shelf. Thereâs a huge, shit-eating grin on Shokoâs face. Somehow sheâs responsible for this. You donât know how yet, nor do you have proof, but you know it.Â
âOkay, thank you, love you, bye!â Before you can hang up, Shoko blurts something.Â
âTell him I said hi,â she begins, ââandnottogetahardonwhenheseesyou!â
You hang up the call and roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself because of her idiocy. When you enter the corridor, you hear a faint sound of hushed voices from downstairs. Itâs only when you round the bannister at the top, when those voices become discernible and louder.Â
You stop at the top, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like all the air in your lungs have expelled. Suddenly, youâre hyper-aware of what youâre wearing, and the fabric, and the way it clings to your body. Neither he, nor you, look awayâyou should, you want to, but you donât.Â
And in the time the two of you gaze upon the other, time stops for a modicum of a second. In this second, you and him are the last two souls in the world. At least, thatâs how it feels anyway before he breaks eye contact.Â
You shift your gaze shortly after, and put on a trained smile. Those eyes of his were always so intense. You guess you forgot over the years how easy it was to lose yourself in the crystalline pools of them. Gathering your wits, you resume your movements and saunter down the imperial staircase.Â
âHey, didnât mean to keep you waiting. Sort of lost track of time, but I think the girls are all packed,â you say, your voice coming to a decrescendo upon noticing the way his eyes trail over your frame. Theyâre unreadable, though. Indifferent, and honestly, youâre not sure how to feel. So, you begin fidgeting uncomfortably with the rings around your finger.Â
Then, he smiles. Itâs eerie and fake. âNot a problem, I havenât been here too long. But, uh,â he begins ambling around the place, touching random objects around the living room, âDidnât know you had plans. Whatâs the occasion? Going out for drinks with your colleagues?âÂ
You furrow your brows, confused with his sudden interests in your plans. It wasnât really like him to prod. âNo, actually,â you rock back-and-forth on the balls of your heels, âiâmâŠiâm going on a date,â you finish with a pursed smile. He only nods his head in response, still walking around the place touching stuff, messing with the picture frames on the mantle. Theyâre all crooked now.Â
âHow come this is the only picture you have up of me,â he asks suddenly. You know, that he knows, the answer to that. And he knows, that you know, youâll indulge in his games anyway.Â
âThe girls wanted them in their rooms. Why do you ask? You want me to go grab them and put âem all up around the house?â Again, he doesnât say anything. Just gives you a final once over before heading back to the foyer to ask if the girls are all set to go.Â
âYeah, but I canât find my tablet, dad. Can I go look for it?â Haruki speaks up. âI thought I packed it.â
Satoru looks at the time on his watch, pinches the crease in between his brows. âSure, kiddo. Can we make it quick, please?â He throws his hand in the air for emphasis, then points to his watch. Haruki nods, then runs up the stairs.Â
âActually, you go on up too and help your sister. You guys are holding up dad,â you turn to Hana and gesture for her to head up with your head. She rolls her eyes, yelling up the stairs for her younger sister to âfreaking hurry upâ.Â
You and Satoru both turn to each other with wide eyes, laughing at the nerve of those children.Â
âThey get that attitude from you, you know,â you point to him, driving your index finger into his bicep.Â
âYou sure? Their momâs got a pretty bad mouth on her, too. Or, have you forgotten?â He teases, bending his knees slightly to level his eyes with yours, intruding into your space. The smirk he dons is cheeky, too friendlyâtoo inviting. You want to smack it off of him.Â
âOh, shut uââ the sound of your phone chiming interrupts your banter. Itâs a message from Kazuki, and you open it while Satoru stands over you. Probably close enough to read the message on his own if he wanted.Â
Kazuki: Hey, I hate to do this but I donât think I can go through with tonight.Â
When you read the message, your heart drops into your stomach. There goes the other shoe, you think, fully embracing your pessimism. Who were you kidding, really? To think that tonight youâd go out and have a good time. Do something for yourself. It was stupidity.Â
Chat bubbles pop up on the screen. He has more to say.Â
He has more to say, and youâre fighting the urge to cryâto not shake out of sheer frustration while youâre still standing in front of Satoru. Because nothing would be worse than him seeing you canât even land a date.Â
Kazuki: I recently just went through a divorce, and I know that I should have informed you about this before continuing our conversationsâŠEspecially since youâve been so transparent with me about your own divorce and strife.
Kazuki: But if Iâm being completely honest, I was scared. I genuinely wanted to see this through, at first. I wanted to forget about my ex-wife for just one night. But I realized Iâve been asking the impossible of myselfâŠIâm still in love with her, and itâs because Iâm in love with her that I wonât allow myself to lead you on any further.Â
Kazuki: I think we wouldâve had a good time tonight. It's unfortunate we had to meet under such circumstances because youâre a really lovely woman, and Iâm sorry an asshole is standing you up right now.Â
Kazuki: Take care. I know thereâs a guy out there just waiting for his shot.Â
Satoru takes notice of the way your face drops as you read over the messages. Part of him wants to overstep his boundaries and take a peek at the screen. But he doesnât. He gives you your space and takes a seat on the couch, waits for you to say something first.Â
In the meantime, he studies your face. Watches intently as your eyes become glossy the more you scan the messages, watches as your bottom lip catches between your teeth to hold back from crying. He thinks he knows what just happened.Â
Taking a deep breath, you lock your phone and put on another trained smile, âWell, looks like Iâm staying in tonight.â Satoru dislikes when you do that. When you put on a fake smile and overcompensate to make others around you feel better, even when itâs so very obvious you arenât. He wishes that sometimes you would just be selfishâact out.Â
And then you continue the façade. It makes his skin itch.Â
âI was too tired anyway, guess I can just catch up oââ
âWill you stop,â he spits, rising from his seat on the couch to stand. It comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesnât regret it. You look at him like heâs got two heads as he walks over to the mantle and leans against it. His back is turned towards you, and the palms of his hands hold the crest of it. He uses it as leverage to rock on the heels of his feet. You can tell thereâs something he wants to say because of the way his jaw ticks.Â
Satoru is never one to bite his tongue, so youâre not exactly sure why heâs choosing to be so restrained. If he wasnât going to spit it out, you were going to poke. âWhatâs your problem?âÂ
He chuckles at this, rubs his chin then pushes off the mantle to stand in front of you, gets all in your space again. The movement almost sends you back but you hold your ground, tilt your chin up at him and repeat the question. Slowly, this time with more venom.Â
âMy problem? Whatâs your problem?â He breathes through his nose, his eyes flickering back-and-forth between your own. âWhy do you always pretend like youâre not lonely? Itâs okay if you were looking forward to having fun tonight. Itâs okay to be upset and be mad at the asshole who stood you up!â
With every verbal prod at you, the gap between you decreases. His feet inch closer and closer to your own and force you to retreat farther until your back hits the wall. The coldness of it causes your breath to hitch, and you try to stay calm as Satoru encroaches more into your personal space. Being on the receiving end of his passion was always suffocating, you feel exposed under the intensity of his gazeâeven more so as he continues to tear into you.Â
âWhy do you even care?!â you cut him off, eyes wide and veins pumping full of adrenaline. âItâs not your place to be so invested in my life anymore! Weâre not together, you donât have to get so hot and bothered about things going shitty for me. Iâm a big girl, and Iâm perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.âÂ
By the time you finish, youâre a heaving, shaking mess. He takes this as a sign to withdraw from your space, and goes to sit back down on the couch. When you finally settle your nerves, you join him, leaving a foot of space in between you. Thereâs an awkward silence, one that wouldnât have even happened if he just respected your boundaries in the first place. Now he feels like the asshole instead of the actual asshole who dumped you. Taking a hesitant breath, he decides to speak up.Â
âLook, Iâm sorry. I didnâtâŠIt wasnât my intention to come off so strong like that,â he begins, âI just wanted to let you know that you donât always have to pretend to be fine. Itâs not fair, you shouldnât do that to yourself.â His eyes wander over to you reluctantly, like heâs scared that if he looks too long youâll disengage from the conversation.Â
âItâs okay,â your voice is small, just above a whisper. You want to face him, but you know that if you do, you'll break into a million pieces. So you keep your gaze downward, busy yourself with the stray pieces of thread on the bottom of your dress. âYouâre right, you know. I think I justâŠI think I just tell myself to expect disappointment so that when something bad happens, Iâll know itâs not because I got my hopes up.âÂ
Satoru turns to you, and you can see him frown through your peripheral. Still, you donât face him because youâre not done talking. But you thank him silently for listening without interrupting.Â
âEven though youâre right, I donât appreciate the way you came on so strongly. Weâre not married anymore, weâre not a coupleâweâre co-parents. So if thereâs something I want you to know about thatâs outside of the scope of our kids, Iâll let you know. Otherwise, leave it alone.â
Satoruâs face softens. For once youâre being selfish, putting your foot down. This is the side of you he likes. âOkay. I respect that,â he says, âBut can I ask you something?â The smile on his face is mirthful, like heâs got something else up his sleeves this evening. Skeptical, you finally face him with a raised brow.Â
âWhat?â
âLet me take you to dinner.âÂ
You laugh in his face, even go as far as smacking his arm because you want him to know you found the joke really funny. He doesnât budge, and thatâs when you realize heâs being serious.Â
âWait, what?âÂ
âLetâs go to dinner,â he stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. You tilt your head in disbelief. Youâre just waiting for someone to tell you youâre on that old reality show punkâd.Â
âFunny, I just poured my heart out to you and now youâre making fun of me,â you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance.Â
âIâm being serious,â he reassures, âyouâre already dressed up. Itâd be a shame for it to go to waste.â His eyes are twinkling with hope, and once again, you find yourself falling victim to their persuasiveness.Â
Being under Gojo Satoruâs gaze was suffocating.Â
Giving in, you ask, âSo what are you gonna do? Drive all the way home to get dressed?âÂ
The question is genuine, but the bastard just grins. âIâm a little hurt,â he throws a hand over his heart, âdonât you know me by now? Iâm a businessman. I keep pressed blazers and slacks on me at all times.â
He swings his keys around his index finger, hoping that the promise of a spare change of clothes being in his car is enough to convince you to say yes.Â
âI donât knowâŠâ you trail.Â
âCâmon, let me take you out. I promise you wonât regret it.â
Somehow he was able to persuade you into going out. After he changed into his spare clothes, you ended up telling your girls that there was gonna be a change of plans, and that theyâd go home with their dad tomorrow.Â
Of course, before leaving, you made sure to leave some money on the table for pizza, and you also made sure to drill into their heads not to open the door for anyone except the delivery guy. You knew they knew the drill already, but it didnât feel right to leave without saying it anyway.Â
âBe good, listen to your sister, sheâs in charge,â you pinch Harukiâs cheek. Hana smirks, nodding her head in agreement with you.Â
âI will mom, I know,â she huffs, crossing her arms.
âAnd you,â your finger wags at Hana, her smirk drops. âDonât provoke your sister, be nice. Act like you love each other, please.âÂ
âFine, whatever. I guess,â she grabs the knob to the door, ready to kick the both of you out already. âSo does this mean the two of you are back together, or?âÂ
Satoru and you turn to each other before answering in unison, âNo.âÂ
âOkay, cool. Well, have fun,â she practically closes the door on the two of you, locking it after. Satoru is just as dumbfounded as you are, but then you break into a fit of laughter.Â
âThose kids, man.â
âYour kids!â you correct, pushing him playfully as the both of you walk down the pebbled pathway. He finds his equilibrium in time to unlock the car and open your side of the door. You pause before ducking inside.
âOh, how gentlemanly of you,â you jest, âAnd they say chivalry is dead.â
âHow could it be when Iâm alive?â He says matter-of-factly, closing your side of the door. He taps the top of the car before sliding across the hood to the other side. Nice to see some things never changed.Â
When he gets inside and turns on the car, he puts his hand on the back of your seat to back out. The proximity sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to physically refrain from letting your eyes linger on his jaw, and his arms, and the face he makes when heâs trying to concentrate.Â
You try to dispel these less-than-friendly thoughts by looking somewhere, anywhere else but him. But you canât, and itâs irritating.Â
This is the second time tonight youâve been this close, and itâs only this time that you realize something about him isâŠdifferent. Earlier, he didnât really smell like anything, but you quickly notice his smell has changed.Â
Thereâs a sort of piney scent coming from him. Itâs not strong or obnoxious enough to blind your nostrils, but itâs enough for you to just barely pick up on it. You almost think it was premeditated, that he took the liberty of spritzing some on before walking you to the car. Before you separated, heâd made it a habit to wear variations of woody scents for you. If you can recall correctly, a passing comment you made about the cologne he was wearing that day is what sparked the habit.Â
Surely, this couldnât be coincidental?Â
âYou smell nice,â you blurt, filling in the silence.Â
Satoru glances at you, âThank you.â You hate that from the corner of your eye, you can see his stupid little smirk growing bigger by the minute. He already had a big ego, it didnât need to be stroked any more.Â
âDonât let it go to your head, though. You usually smell pretty rank.â
âOhhh, is that so? Guess I gotta start wearing this more often then, huh?â
âSure, do what you want,â you say, trying to remain indifferent even though youâre failing terribly to hide your smile. When the car approaches a red light, you finally decide to ask the big question. âSo where are you taking me?âÂ
âYouâll see,â he glances over, âJust know Iâm good friends with the owner, so last minute reservations weren't a problem.âÂ
The rest of the car ride is silent, save for the low hum of the music playing on the radio. When you arrive at the location, Satoru makes sure to walk all the way around to your side of the door again and open it. Immediately after, the two of you are greeted by a young male. Heâs wearing a white button down, black slacks, and a black vest with a red tie. Judging by his appearance, you assume heâs a valet driver.Â
Satoru drops his keys in the driverâs hands, and escorts you towards the entrance. The boy bows and goes to park the car. Looking around, you start to wonder where exactly this place is supposed to be. The area is dark and secluded, and from where you stand outside, it doesnât sound like thereâs supposed to be a restaurant here. You donât hear any voices, you donât even see any security or other passerbyers.Â
Still, you follow behind him like a duckling, only coming to a halt when he leads you to a door taller than the both of you. He gestures for you to back up, then raises his knuckles to blow a strong, single knock. Youâre taken by surprise when a set of angry eyes appear behind a slot in the door.Â
The pair of eyes first scan over you, then Satoru. A gruff voice is second to accompany them, âWhere can I get a good drink?âÂ
âI heard the bar down the street is nice,â Satoru answers. The hatch to the door closes, then swings open the door, and the man behind it moves aside to welcome you in.
âFollow me, please.â Once he closes the door, he begins guiding you down the dimly lit hallway. After making what seems like your hundredth turn, you eventually reach a staircase. The man gestures for you to go on ahead, and you think this is him implying where the three of you will depart.
âThank you,â you say softly, disappearing down the stairs. Satoru isnât too far behind, keeping a pace between you. As you near the end of the long, narrow hallway, a stream of white light brightens up your whole path. It leads you down to another door like a beacon of light, and when you reach it, you can hear voices, live music, and dishes clanking on the other side. Itâs bustling with life. A huge, joyous smile plasters across your face. Itâs almost child-like in appearance, like you havenât seen something this cool in a long time.Â
Satoru stands beside you and winks. âWhat dâya think? Any idea yet where we are?âÂ
âI think this is fucking cool, and hm,â you take a second to mull it over, âare we at a speakeasy?âÂ
âSmart girl. Now come on.â Stepping back, you allow him to pull open the door, and when he does, there isnât a word to describe the atmosphere of the place you step into. All you can do is stand there in astonishment. Before long, a man walks up to you.Â
âWelcome, what is the name you reserved under?âÂ
âGojo.â
Nodding, the host instructs you to follow after him. He leads you to a private seating area, somewhere far in the back thatâs secluded from the other patrons. The space is much bigger, and much more extravagant. You know youâre only sitting way back here because Satoru is who he is. And in all the years youâve known him, his connections were just another party trick in his arsenal.Â
The hostess seats you, then Satoru, and tells you that a waiter will be with you shortly.Â
âThis is nice, really nice, but is itââ
âLegal?â he finishes your sentence, âdonât worry. Itâs a modern speakeasy-style restaurant. Thereâs nothing illegal going on here, promise.âÂ
While you wait for your designated waiter, your focus shifts from the man in front of you to the man singing on the stage. Up until now, his voice was white noise in the background, but then he started singing a tune scarily reminiscent of your pastâand your breath catches in your throat.Â
If I ever leave you, baby
You can say I told you so
And if I ever hurt you
You know, I hurt myselfâŠ
Turning your gaze back to Satoru, you squint your eyes mirthfully in disbelief. You wonder if this is just a funny coincidence, if this is the universe playing her tricks, but you know deep down, that coincidences and Gojo Satoru donât belong in the same sentence.Â
You open your mouth to speak, but quickly close it when you see the waiter approaching from the corner of your eye. He greets the both of you with a polite smile, then sets down two glasses of water.Â
âGood evening, Iâll be your waiter for the night,â he says, placing a menu in front of you, âCan I get you fine folks started off with a bottle of wine?âÂ
Satoru nods, tells him to bring the best bottle of red they have and then gestures for him to come closer so that he can whisper something in his ear. All the while, you sit back in your seat observing, clicking your nails on the table until the server pulls back and bows.Â
When he departs, you immediately lean in over the table, and ask, âJust how much time did you have to plan all of this?âÂ
Satoru feigns aloofness, taking a sip of his water, âWhat do you mean?âÂ
You roll your eyes, gesturing at the stage with your eyes. Then, as if suddenly coming to a realization, he goes, âOh, that? Yeah, I had nothing to do with that. But isnât it funny theyâre playing our old song?âÂ
Now heâs smirking, with his elbow leaning back on the chair, and a gaze so piercing, youâre certain youâll crumble into nothing unless you look away. So you do, avert your gaze back to the stage and sway calmly.Â
Is that any way for a man to carry on
Do you think I want my loved one gone
Said I love you
More than youâll ever know
More than youâll ever know
âSo funny,â you counter.Â
Eventually, the server comes back with a bottle. â1982 Chateau Latife Rothschild,â he holds it out to present, âIs this alright?âÂ
Despite the years spent with Satoru, and the many elitist events you often attended with him, your knowledge on wine had never surpassed anything but surface level. You knew the difference between good wine and cheap wine was the taste, but your taste buds had grown accustomed to store-bought, so if anything, store-bought tasted like heaven to you. Anyway, though, you nod your head and urge him to pour a glass.Â
âThank you,â you smile, before gently swirling the glass and bringing it up to your nose to smell (something you only know to do after being the odd man out at so many company banquets). Satoru waits for you to sip your glass before he sips his. The way you melt into your seat is a silent assurance that youâre pleased.Â
âThis is great, youâre amazing,â you tell the server, who seems pleased by your compliment.Â
âGlad to be of service, miss. Are you ready to order?âÂ
Dinner goes by smoothly. In fact, it goes by so smoothly, you and Satoru finish the entire bottle of wine. Now you sit at the table, bellies full, faces flushed and sore from laughing, and now you find yourself telling him about the grocery store incident. If you had half a mind (a sober one), youâd shut up right this second to save yourself from the embarrassment. But you donât. And Satoruâs very persuasive when youâre tipsy.Â
âKeep going,â he leans in, hand nestled under his chin. Heâs completely invested in the story. Actually, as soon as he heard the words âstoreâ and âcute guyâ, he just had to know more. And you begging him to change the subject didnât help, not when the sadist in him loved to see you so embarrassed.Â
âFine,â you hiccup, âIt was so - so bad, Toru.â He doesnât miss the way you slip and call him by the nickname youâd always reserved for him. It makes his heart race, and god, does he miss the way it sounds spilling from your lips. But he ignores the feeling, and refocuses on your story instead. Which, by the way, was proving to be a task in itself because his eyes couldnât stop drifting back down to your lips. So soft, soâ
âAnd then she said âwe donât believe in rings,ââ you whisper, fist coming down on the table. The sound it makes nearly sobers you up, and you realize just how loud youâre being despite your table being secluded from others. Giggling like a kid, you continue, âI mean, how fucking insane is that?!âÂ
âSomething as bizarre as that could only ever happen to you,â he replies, laughing along with you, âthose people were crazy.âÂ
âThe craziest,â you agree, throwing your head back in another fit of laughter. Gradually, the two of you begin to settle down, and once again, you find your attention being drawn back to the man on the stage. Only this time, heâs making an announcement.
âGood evening ladies and gentleman. Tonight Iâve got a special request,â he says, looking out into the audience. Looking at you. âThis oneâs for a very special lady who, from what Iâve been told, is a great mother that needs to start doing things for herself.âÂ
The singer steps out of the spotlight and hands the note to a server. Your server. Then he begins to sing, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It was your wedding song.Â
[...] I donât even know how to love you
Just the way you want me to
But Iâm ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
Yes, Iâm ready (ready) to learn (to learn)
âNow this one? This one was me,â Satoru leans forward, and you swiftly turn your head to face him. He smiles as he watches your face go through ten different emotions before ultimately softening. It warms your heart to see how incredibly planned this evening was, despite the amount of time he was given to work with. Even so, it kind of scares youâbecause then that meant this was a grand gestureâthat this was his way of saying something. And you werenât too sure if you wanted to hear it. Your gaze drops to your lap, and Satoru frowns.Â
To fall in loveÂ
To fall in love
To fall in love with youâŠ
âLook at me,â he says softly, but you donât. âHey, look at me.â He reaches over the table to take your chin in between his fingers. The touch alone feels electric. Sends liquid hot lightning down the column of your spine. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, and like always, itâs suffocating. Theyâre so wide with hope, and so, so gentle in the way they hold you. The longer you gaze upon them, the more you convince yourself itâll be okay if you surrender to them.Â
âItâs been years since weâve divorced,â his voice is shaky, almost strained, like heâs actively thinking how to choose his words carefully, âand when we sat down that night, I thought it was what I wanted, too, you know? And for a while, it was,â he reaches a hand across the table to rest atop your own, âbut you gotta knowâŠyou gotta knowâyouâre it for me. Thereâs no one else on this Earth that I want to start over with. Youâve always been the beginning and end of my story, and Iâll be damned if I let another man start one with you.â
Your heart is beating faster than you can even process what heâs saying. The only thing youâre focused on is not passing out in the middle of this damn restaurant. But then heâs squeezing your hand, and your focus is drawn back to those piercing, pale blues that even put crystals to shame.Â
âSo what do you say?â he says, so softly, so tender. âCan we try again?â
Waiting for your reply, he squeezes your hand again. Itâs like your soul is wandering the line between death and the living, and his touch is the tether that brings you back. In the background, the tune of the song sung at your wedding gives you a push of courage.Â
I donât even know how to kiss your lips (kiss your lips)
At a moment like this
But Iâm going to learn how to doÂ
All the things you want me to
Yes, Iâm ready
(Are you ready?) Yes, Iâm ready
To fall in love
To fall in love
To fall in love right now
âYes.â
The walk back to the car is hurried. Aided by both, years and years of built up tension, and the liquid courage currently bubbling in your systems.Â
The race back to his apartment is even faster. You thank the gods silently that itâs within close proximity to where you just were.Â
Once you get there, make your way past the doorman and concierge (who both give the two of you a knowing look), go up the elevator, and finally get into his loftâitâs over. Years of restraint, years of pretending, wantingâyearning, come crashing down.Â
Thereâs barely any time to close the door before heâs pushing you against it. His lips trail down the column of your neck, then come up to kiss your jaw, until eventually, they find your lips. And when they do, itâs instantaneousâthat familiar feeling, the feeling that feels almost like falling.Â
Once again, for what felt like centuries, you feel again the rush of helplessness. The push and pull of the tide. It brings you down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean floor, and itâs unmerciful.Â
Kissing Satoru is like being shocked with ten thousand volts of energy. Like all this time youâve spent not kissing him, has been costing you your life, and heâs the only one who can deliver you salvation. Itâs all teeth and tongue for a minute. Messy, and sticky, and nasty. A true testament to the desperation brewing in the pits of both your stomachs.Â
The sensation of it all has your knees going slack, and thatâs when he saysâ
âJump.âÂ
Obeying, you do just that. Jump right into his arms, and wrap your legs around his torso like youâve done so many times before. The way you feel now is the way you used to feel before then, too. Like you were made to fit like this. To be held in his arms like you were molded from the same clay.Â
Carefully, he adjusts his grip on your body. Keeps his palms planted on the bottoms of your ass, and begins the trek to his room. He struggles a bit getting there because you havenât stopped kissing since entering the apartment, but he figures it out after a stumble or two (which resulted in a bitten lip and you apologizing profusely through giggles).Â
âThe turbulence up here is crazy, donât blame me, blame the pilot,â you jest, kissing down his neck to make up for it.Â
âIâll make sure to let him know,â he jokes back. As soon as he gets to the bed, he sets you down at the edge of the bed. You try to bring him down to your height but he stops you, wags his finger in your face playfully before using it to push you back into the bed. His fingers start to play with the fabric of your dress, and then his face takes on an indifferent expression. The same one from earlier that night when he first saw you walking down the stairs.Â
âCanât believe you were gonna wear this for himâŠâ he trails, lifting the fabric up slowly, eyeing you while doing so, âas if this dress doesnât mean something.âÂ
Of course, when Shoko chose it, its significance did make you falterâbut in your defense, not once did you ever anticipate for him to see you in it. And you especially didnât expect for him to remember it, the last time you wore it was almost a decade ago.Â
âI didnâtâŠâ you start, a smile creeping on your lips, âthink you remembered?â
ââCourse I did, how could I not?â He says more sharply than intended, taking offense. He takes offense because he spent the better half of the night showing you he remembered. The little things and everything else in between. Couldnât you see that?
âIt was our 4th anniversary. Bought you this dress and fucked you in it that same night. Funny how the second time Iâm seeing you in this dress, the circumstances are the same except only this time weâre divorced,â he says, crawling over your body. âGuess I gotta show you just how much I remember.âÂ
With that, he slips a hand under your dress, pulls your panties to the side and runs a finger down your slit. Oh-so-willingly, do you spread your legs for him. Itâs almost subconscious, the way your body responds to him. And he revels in it. Lets his fingers work you, feel you, bring you to ecstasy. Then he heightens your pleasure tenfold when he kisses his way down your body, and takes a seat before you on his knees.Â
Unceremoniously, he pulls your body to the edge of the bed. Takes his time slipping your panties down the length of your legs, then kisses the insides of your thighs, before finally stopping at your mound.Â
Slowly, he lowers himself to your cunt, kisses your clit softly. Once, twice, three times. The pace in which heâs moving is killing you, to say the least. But you know heâs savoring the moment, making up for all the years he spent not kneeling like this between your legs. So you let him; let him caress you all over before he comes seeking the honey-sweet salvation dripping from your core.Â
The second his tongue makes contact with your heat, you find yourself clamping a heavy hand over your mouth. âFuck, Toruuuu,â you drawl, back arching off the bed. Pleased with his abilities, he smiles smugly, using this as an opportunity to push himself even deeper. Up and down, he licks at your slit, uses his fingers in tandem with his tongue to prod at that spongy spot he knows you love.Â
âTastes,â a harsh suck, âso good,â another, âbetter than I remember.âÂ
You know heâs talking, but his words fall on deaf ears. Youâre so caught up in your own high, you donât even take notice of the obscene sloshing sounds coming from your pussy, or the moans youâre making. All you can do is lay there and take it as he takes, and takes, and takes from you.Â
Soon, you find your orgasm cutting through you like a knife, and you come with a strangled cry that has you biting back tears. Satoru talks you through the whole thing. He lays his head down on your thigh and continues working you with his fingers until you start to shake from the overstimulation.Â
For a few, you lay and stare at the ceiling. You think you can see the Milky Wayâand all the constellations that make it up. It feels like your soul is floating beyond your physical body, and you donât come back down to Earth until a sharp, stinging sensation brings you back. Did he just?
âDid you just bite me?â you lift your head, peering down to see the evidence. In all its glory, there it was; a red ring smack-dab in the inside of your thigh with teeth imprints. Looking at Satoru, he grins.Â
âHad to get you back from earlier,â he says, sitting back on his knees. You attempt to kick him with your foot, but he grabs hold of it. Pretending to be wounded, he gasps, âIs this how you treat the man who just gave you a soul-shattering orgasm?âÂ
You roll your eyes, but to your dismay, it only encourages him to continue.Â
âFuck, Toru,â he mimics, âoh my god, Toru. You fuck me so gooââ
âAlright, enough!â you manage to kick him this time, laughing as you bring up your hands to cover your face. âKeep carrying on like that and I wonât let you fuck meâŠâ Youâre serious in your bite, but heâs smirking. Like he knows youâre full of bullshit.Â
âYeah right. You and I both know I make you feel too good.âÂ
Feeling bested, you scoff, though, thereâs no real weight behind it. While he begins to remove his shirt, you sit up and replace his hands. He relinquishes control and allows you to unbutton it until the item falls haphazardly to the floor.Â
Heâs so beautiful, you think. Still so chiseled, so perfect after all these years since youâve last seen him like this. At his most vulnerable. The only difference now is that there are more freckles littered across his skin. Back then, heâd say they were signs of aging, and heâd hate them.Â
But heâs older now. More mature. So much so that he even winks at you when you trace your fingertips over them.
âThey suit you,â you whisper.Â
âYeah?â
You nod your head, âmhm.âÂ
Continuing your ministrations, you begin removing his belt. He holds your gaze the entire time it takes for you to unzip his pants and pull them downâand he doesnât once shy away when you discover the wet spot on the front of his briefs. Slowly, delicately, you remove the soiled item and let it fall down to the floor with the rest of his clothes.Â
Still looking at him, you take hold of his length and fist him once, twice, experimentally. A dribble of pre oozes from his slit and you bring it to your mouth. All the air in his lungs expel into the air when you lick it off with your tongue, and god, he thinks he could come from that alone.Â
God, heâs missed you. Missed your touch, your lipsâthe way you hold him with your eyes like heâs something worth being gentle with. Nothing could ever compare to you, not even his own hand.Â
As soon as youâre about to take him in your mouth, he stops you. Pushes you back down onto the bed and slots himself between your legs. âNo more playing, Iâm tired of playing,â he breathes, lowering himself down until half of his weight is on top of you.Â
Guiding his cock to your entrance, he pushes past your folds with little resistance. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him in has his arms wobbling like jelly, but he musters enough strength somehow to stay up. You, on the other hand, are close to tears.Â
The more he eases himself in, the more you feel like youâre being stretched open (despite him previously prepping you). If you were being truthful, this wasnât a complete shock to you. Youâve known that heâs always been big, but something about tonight feels different. Or maybe itâs just been too long since youâve had something more than just your own fingers.Â
Even so, you try your best to ignore the burn of the stretch. You throw your arms around his neck and invite him deeper into you, hooking your legs around him so tightly that it renders his limbs useless. For a minute, all you can feel is the weight of him inside of you, and his chest against yours as they rise and fall asynchronously.Â
âToru,â your voice is just barely above a whisper, but enough to make the hairs on the nape of his neck stand. âMake love to me.âÂ
Heeding your request, he begins moving. Painfully slow, he unsheathes himself from you until only the head of his cock is inside, then pushes himself all the way back in with force. Again, and again, he repeats this motion. Pulls out, pushes in. Pulls out, pushes in, until he decides to increase his pace and set a steady rhythm.Â
Every thrust into you is meticulously calculated. Sharp, and forceful, and not once does he disrupt the rhythm. He listens carefully to the sounds you make. Even listens to the way your breath hitches when he hits a spot right. Everything heâs doing is perfectâand itâs to no surprise. Deep down, you know that Satoru knows your body like the back of his hand. Heâd know it if you were all old and wrinkly. Heâd know it if his soul reincarnated. Hell, heâd know it blind.Â
âMissed this,â he grunts, burying his head into the interstice of your neck, âmissed you,â a kiss to your neck, âmissed us.âÂ
The veracity of his words render you speechless. Heâs already professed his feelings for you tonight, but it feels even more real now that youâre beneath him. To be loved by Gojo Satoru was a feeling many couldnât say they had the consolation of knowing. Only a few in his circle could hold that positionâbut only one person in this world could truly ever know his love to its fullest extent. You.Â
Satoru continues his mindless rambling, âI love you,â a thrust, âitâs always been you,â another, âwas always going to be you.â Leaning back on his heels, he pushes your dress all the way up to reveal your breasts. Now itâs him who sits back and admires this time. As if he were reacquainting himself, he traces the planes and pastures of your chest with an eager hand. He runs it up and over each mound, squeezing and kneading the flesh experimentally.Â
Then, he dips down and kisses the space between them. Sucks and licks until the skin bruises, and he has evidence to prove tonight actually happened. Eventually, he withdraws from your chest and returns his focus on easing his cock in and out of your cunt.Â
âSo beautiful,â he says, but itâs more to himself than anything. Youâre so lost in your own pleasure, he doesnât even think you can hear him. âWant you to cum on my cock, know you can do it, baby. Know you can,â he grunts, taking your hand and intertwining it with his own. Letting his head fall into your neck, he begins to quicken his pace. Fucks into you with everything heâs got and willing to give.Â
âToru,â you finally manage to say, ââm so close, keep going. Do it - do it inside.âÂ
Do it inside. Do it inside. Do it inside. The thought is tempting, too tempting. It makes his dick twitch inside of you, and he swears if you say it again, heâll actually do it. But he knows better than to listen to anything you say out of delirium.Â
âTrust me, sweet girl,â he cradles your face, to which you lean into, âI want to - I want to so fucking badly. But we both know youâd regret it later.âÂ
Whining, your lips form into a pout, and the sight is so cute, he canât help but to kiss it off of you. Compared to your kiss earlier, this one is much sweeter. Slower. More relaxed. He kisses you with the intent of making you dizzier than you already are, and itâs scary. Even so, you donât pull away. You allow him to drink you up. Like your lips are the only source of water around, and heâs been quenched for days.Â
Finally, with a few more thrusts, you reach your climax. The pressure building in the pit of your belly pops like a balloon, and everything goes white. âToru!â you shriek, arching off the bed and trembling in his grasp.Â
Using your arch as leverage, he keeps his hands underneath your back and continues to ram into you without abandon. Youâre a babbling, wet mess at this point, and your cunt squeezing around him only encourages him more.Â
âFuckfuckfuck, âm gonna - âm gonna,â he curses, balls beginning to tighten. Quickly, he unsheathes himself and fists himself the rest of the way. With an impassioned moan, he climaxesâspurting thick, white, ropes of seed all over your abdomen. Then, falls onto your limp body with a grunt, chest heaving rapidly, and slick with perspiration.Â
By this time, youâve settled down enough to form a proper sentence. âThat wasâŠâ
Satoru huffs, catching his breath. âYeah.âÂ
Still spent, he continues to lay atop you. And you, having nowhere else to go, let him. The two of you lay comfortably in silence like this for a long time. Just you tracing shapes into his back, and him purring into your neck. Both of you know you should be getting up, but neither of you make an effort to do so. In this moment, time is transcendent. There is no rush to move when time stands still for you.Â
Soon, that silence is broken.Â
âI love you,â you say, and thereâs no elaboration. Not even a recant. In fact, you say it so nonchalantly, heâs not even sure it was real. You say it like youâve never been more certain in your life, like itâs the easiest thing youâve ever had to do.Â
âReally?â he queries, almost pathetically like the mere idea of you loving him is something unattainable. You look at him like heâs got two heads.Â
âYeah, youâre my best friend. Iâve always loved you,â you admit, pausing your ministrations on his back, âI just had to relearn how to love you.â He smiles at this, hums into your neck to keep from crying.Â
âIâm glad we found our way back to each other,â he mumbles into your neck, âso where do we go from here?â
âFrom here we take it slow. Weâll learn together what it means to be individuals, and then from there weâll see where it goes,â you say matter-of-factly, âno more repeating past mistakes.â
âAgreed,â he nods, âwhat will we tell the girls?â
Thatâs when your eyes widen and you sit up, forcefully pushing Satoru off of you.Â
âWhat did I say, whatâs wrong?â he queries, sitting up on the bed. He watches you rummage around the room maniacally, head on a swivel as you run out of the room and return with a purse. You pull your phone out to see a slew of missed calls and messages.Â
âWe forgot to call the girls!â You yell, showing him your phone screen of missed calls. Gojo jumps up to join you, one leg already sliding into his pants.Â
âShit!âÂ
Noticing the state of your appearance, you pinch the skin between your brows. âSatoru, I canât wear this! You got cum all over it,â you groan, pointing to all the splotches of white. He tells you to wait a second before disappearing into his closet, then he comes back with a fist of clothes and throws it at you.Â
âI canât wear this either, theyâll wonder why Iâm wearing your clothes!âÂ
Satoru runs to you and pull the dress off of your body, âWeâll wash it!â he screams, disappearing again out of the room, and to where you imagine, the laundry room. When he returns, heâs out of breath and panting. Itâs only then do you realize how insane he looks with half his shirt buttoned, and his pants twisted around his hips. A giggle escapes your lips.
âWhat are you laughing at? Chop chop,â he claps, ushering you into his bathroom.Â
Yeah, youâd be lying if you said you didnât miss this idiot.
comments + reblogs very appreciated !!!
© arachine 2023
#tee recs.#satoru.#I FINALLY READ IT#the chop chop the end made me giggle i canât lie#but anyway#IM RLY SAD SHOKO AND WE BECAME ESTRANGED#THAT MADE ME SADDDDD#but their gossiping was so funny#AND THE GROCERY STORE INCIDENT LIKE ???? donât believe in rings is so wild stfu ur weirdos sorry#WYM DONT BELIEVE IN RINGS#i can get behind not believing in diamonds#honestly the diamond industry is a scam#BUT RINGS ?????#bro :/#BUT ANYWAYYY#kazuki my opp#i fr thought he was gonna be the bf that made satoru healous#but he had the nerve to flake#oh wait pause the girls are so cute the younger one being a brat is even cuter#i wanna pinch her#but anyway KAZUKI U WILL KNOW PAIN#but satoru is such a dude đâđœ#touching random shit and misplacing them as he casually pries#JFKAKDKSKDD#heâs such a guy#and his low key jealousy đâđœ#bruh BUT MY LIL RICH BOY FANTASIESSSSS#the cologneeeee#cologne is so hot it literally makes me fantasize ab men so hard i have such a scent kink is that even a thing like cologne is a kink 2 me#the dinner date
8K notes
·
View notes