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chaoticspacefam · 4 years ago

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OC Music Meme

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch ! Thank you & sorry it took so long, didn’t have time to write this out before I left for holiday stuff so here we go! I shall tag: @actualanxiousswampwitch (go on give us another one XD), @a-muirehen , @kyber-heart , @thedinalixlegacy (no pressure as always, I know I’m kinda late now sksjkshskhs!) and anyone else who wants to do this, yes, I promise I mean you!

art is by @ ocellifera on deviantART! :D

Let’s do Aria this time, shall we! Since her playlist is the second-longest, and her and Vano’s ship playlist is the longest, we’ll have the most (probable options! Long post so goin’ under a cut. Additional TW’s for: drugs, alcohol, alcoholism, drug addiction and murder, in case I’ve forgotten to add it to the song-specific sections. If you click past this cut, know that this is what you may find there.

reminds you of them most: It was super hard to pick just three for hers, there were so many others I wanted to include here, but couldn’t, as I wanted to make sure I included songs that covered as much of her over-arching characterisation as I could. Honourable mentions to: Miss Jackson - Panic! At The Disco feat. LOLO, Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy, Beekeeper - Keaton Henson, and Bones Of A Rabbit - Young Heretics, which can all be found (and more) on her Spotify Playlist - catch-all warning for: sex, drugs, violence and murdering of parents applies here, be aware her playlist is very dark, just as dark as Rai’s but with differing subject matter, proceed with caution if you find anything like that triggering!)

You’re Going Down - Sick Puppies :: This one is kinda self-explanatory. I heard it on a Spotify or Youtube shuffle at some point a year or so ago and immediately went “Oh, hey Aria!” so onto her playlist it went XD “Because I'm hyped up out of control If it's a fight, I'm ready to go I wouldn't put my money on the other guy If you know what I know that I know.” don’t mess with the Tiny Sith, guys, she will put you in the medbay. She’ll do it, she’s done it before ask Vano what happened to the last guy *nods*

Liar - The Arcadian Wild :: This is a relatively “new” song in comparison, which was sent to me by a good rp/writer friend on Discord (who afaik doesn’t have other socials!) that I often discuss plot points etc. with among other things, saying “hey this reminded me of Aria thought you’d like it!”. I listened to it and yep, sure enough, it’s an Aria song. A big part of Aria’s character is that at the start, she really is quite a bad person. She’s nasty, and cantankerous and she really doesn’t care about anybody except for herself (and maybe her dad. A tiny bit.), as things progress, however, while she is still inherently quite rude and selfish, she DOES learn to value other people...provided they are people she cares about, like Vano, and her friends, and so on, as well as (sometimes, she’s working on it still) taking the blame for her own actions and learning it’s not “weak” or bad to a) admit you care about people, b) make mistakes and c) admit those mistakes and take responsibility for them. "I sense there’s trouble ahead, it’s clear by the signs and warnings. That should tell where all blame is due, So why are they pointing at MY head? [...] I sense deception to come. Honestly, truth and I are never one. 'Cause I am the lying man and I have made you my next victim. I need you to see through my act, to tell me I'm wrong, to take off the mask, or else I'll be left in the lie. And I'll deceive my way straight to demise! Cause I’m not in the right state of mind, I just wish I had strength to admit it. My stubbornness will put up a fight! But I don’t deserve to win it... I’m left in the dark, pondering my mistakes But in the light I swear I will, deny it all...”

I didn’t mean to post like half the song but woops it’s done so have it anyway lmao

Brutus - The Buttress :: TW: intense violent imagery in the lyrics. This one is very relevant but contains spoilers for upcoming and as of yet unposted/incomplete chapters (as in...like 3 ish chapters time at most) of Creeping Shadows, so I’ll post this quote as “explanation” and let you theorize who it’s about

“My name is Brutus and my name means “heavy” So with a heavy heart I'll guide this dagger into the heart of my Enemy! My whole life you were a teacher and friend to me Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy I too have a destiny! This death will be art! The people will speak of this day from near and afar This event will be history, And I'll be great too! I don't want what you have, I wanna be you!!“

reminds another character of them:

Where’s My Love? - SYML :: (Vano) I think the acoustic version is especially emotional : ))) Vano looked for her for years but couldn’t find her and genuinely thought Aria was dead. You can understand why she was so fucking angry when she found out that was a lie...but at the same time, she just wanted her love to come home :( “Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know If she ran away, If she ran away, Come back home Just come home“

Mothers - Daughter :: (Myla, her mother) “Love all you need to love before it goes... When your face becomes a stranger’s that I don’t know. You will never remember who I was to you [...] I’m called “mother”, but they’re called “home”.”

Myla raised Aria for the first few years of her life, and really wanted to keep her away from both the Jedi and the Sith but as it became more and more clear that Aria’s Force affinity was as strong as her father’s, the situation rapidly spiralled out of Myla’s control. She tried to hide Aria, but in the end her father Noctis did find them and take Aria to train with the Sith. She didn’t see her daughter again until she was a teenager, suddenly turning up with the task to kill her for treason against the Empire (Myla is not the canon Imp Agent, but follows the general trajectory of the LS!Agent storyline i.e. an agent disillusioned with the Empire who eventually defects to the Republic with the help of the SIS.). Though she’s a Senator on Onderon now, Myla carried a blaster for personal protection and ofc knows how to use it, except...she couldn’t shoot her own daughter and that was all she wrote. I imagine her thought process during her final moments went something like in this song, especially the bit that I highlighted up there.

reminds you of a relationship of theirs, doesn’t have to be romantic, can be paternal, friendly, etc:

Tongues & Teeth - The Crane Wives :: Aria & Vano (Romantic). Aria’s relationship with Vano is incredibly messy and complicated. On one hand, she knows Vano deserves better, but at the same time she doesn’t want her to go anywhere else and it seems like no matter what she does to try and “warn her off” about what a “bad person” she is, Vano keeps coming back anyway. Ergo, this song. "Oh, I will ruin you. I will ruin you. It’s a habit...I can’t help it. I know that you mean so well, but I am not a vessel for your good intent. I will only break your pretty things, I will only wring you dry of everything! But if you’re fine with that, if you’re fine with that [...] You can be mine.”

Colours - Halsey :: Aria & Merak & Ziri (Friendship/Platonic Love) “You’re only happy when your sorry head is filled with dope, I hope you make it to the day you’re 28 years old...”

Aria “coped” (i.e. not very well but she did it) with the guilt of killing her mother and the stress brought on by the night terrors by self-medicating with glitterstims (spice) and alcohol, and this is how Merak in particular remembers her. Though she got clean from spice after they picked up Ziri, she still continued to drink (and still does) quite heavily, though at least it’s easier to manage that habit. Both of them supported her through this the best they could and it’s probably a big reason (other than Merak being Vano’s little brother) that they’re still Aria’s friends to this day, even if she doesn’t actively travel with them anymore.

(honourable mention to Agnes - Glass Animals which also falls under this “category” but I didn’t want this to get too crowded lmao, it is once again a super long post woops) You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring :: Aria & Roan/Darth Noctis (Familial/Familial Love) Listen, he may have taught her very bad emotional habits and turned her into a tiny attack dog, but her father did love & protect her the best way he possibly could. He was very proud of her and always envisioned her taking his place as a Darth one day (and it takes her a longass while, but eventually she does! Congrats dad!). That’s all I’ve got to say about this one 🤷‍♀️ Monster - Willyecho :: Aria & Satele Shan/The Jedi Order (Enemies to Begrudging Respect (eventually) “I can see the truth. No, you don’t have to lie to me. Don’t fill your head with things and think you’re free~ [...] You don’t believe in monsters, do you~?” ”Of course not!” ”Well, I do...” See me change...into something...darker....” My personal favourite from this “round”. It’s not until Ilum that Satele and the Jedi finally realise they have not “converted” Aria as they thought they did, but rather...they’ve had a Sith hiding under their noses, a Sith related to a Dark Councillor well-known for murdering Jedi no less, and that perhaps...the “deaths” she had convinced them were accidental, were in fact, not an accident at all. 😈 Aria, of course, gets her ass thrown in jail for a few years for this lmao When the schtick with the Revanites happens and Theron needs someone who can “negotiate in a civil manner with Sith”, he and his mother agree Aria is the best bet - if it works, the Sith will respond more positively to her than any other Jedi, if they kill her instead then they’re “rid of” her and don’t lose one of their own - when Lana’s point-of-contact happens to be Vano and the pair reunite after another several years apart, Aria refuses to return to the Republic after Yavin IV. By then, she’s developed enough of a begrudging respect for Satele (and vice versa) that the Grand Master lets her go (not that she was willing to try and fight Vano, Ni’kasi, Marr & Lana to try and take Aria prisoner again anyways). They haven’t seen each other since and though Aria is neutral to the Jedi who have joined the Alliance, she doesn’t care for those who are still loyal to the Republic and would rather have nothing to do with them if she can help it.

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jflashandclash · 5 years ago

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Tales From Mount Othrys

Fidget Spinners IV

Once they were aboard the Ferry of the Dead, riding down the River Styx with Charon in his proper creepy and grim black robe, Alabaster stopped vomiting. The ship was an old Greek vessel, something Matthias could have identified immediately. They sat as far from the stern as possible. Apparently this boat was usually brimming with ghosts, but Charon had shoved the three of them aboard in such a hurry, less ghosts had flooded the space.

This gave them the room to sit on the edge of the boat so Pax, Lou Ellen, and Alabaster could stare off at the inky, polluted river. They wanted to be as far from the ferryman as possible. Charon was cursing under his breath, something about children being electrocuted in bathtubs and getting into car accidents.

Maybe, in a normal tour, Pax might have been excited by the black stalactites and terrifying horror movie set. For now, all he could do was rub Alabaster’s back. Lou Ellen sat on his other side, pulling one finger off and putting it back in a different one’s place, frequently messing it up. This was her way of acting concerned.

After he was certain Charon couldn’t overhear them, Pax whispered, “You died coming after us?!”

Before now, he couldn’t process what was happening enough to ask. The sight of Alabaster with his intestines dragging on the floor and blood spewing out of his mouth—it was enough to make Pax tremble more. And he was already trembling pretty hard in this cold cavern.

“Of course I died!” Alabaster’s voice rose, making Pax and Lou Ellen flinch. “How else would I be in the Underworld?!”

Tears threatened to spill down Pax’s cheeks. He could hear Lou Ellen sniffling. Crying would really make her missing-eye illusion less believable.

Alabaster sighed. Pax thought he was reaching for something in his pocket.

Alabaster wasn’t. He grabbed the end of his intestines. Casually, the child of Hecate wound them up around one wrist. Once he got towards the end, he ripped off a chunk.

Pax shrieked.

“Be quiet,” Alabaster snarled. Softer, he grumbled, “And Mercedes thinks you can keep it cool in enemy territory.”

Pax wanted to point out that enemies (hopefully) wouldn’t be ripping off pieces of their organs. Was that a thing they did in Camp Half-Blood? Did Percy Jackson, in fact, an organ-eating zombie?

Before Pax could withdraw his hand, Alabaster shoved the chunk into Pax’s palm.

Pax almost screamed again. Maybe this was an experience he should have smiled upon—after all, it isn’t every day that your crush tries to hand you an organ, granted, a heart might be better.

“I knew you idiots wouldn’t bring enough snacks,” Alabaster hissed, shoving another chunk into Lou Ellen’s hands.

“Oh my mother…” Lou Ellen whispered.

Pax didn’t want to watch as she held up the chunk for investigation. Then he saw what she saw. The scent of iron vanished like it had been a whiff from a distant breeze. That chunk had some kind of label covered in blood—not blood.

Pax sniffed.

The scent of barbeque sauce became overwhelming.

He rubbed his own chunk with his thumb. The sauce smeared to reveal a packaged sausage, like the kind you’d have on a cheese platter. There was even a bright label on the protective packaging.

Pax stared at his hand. The spell had been so convincing.

Lou Ellen made a low whistle. “You’re good,” she said, “Titans, can you teach me how to do that?”

“When you have enough discipline to pull off your nose instead of your chin,” Alabaster scolded.

Pax couldn’t think about the spell or the sausage.

He threw his arms around Alabaster.

Alabaster made a grunt of annoyance.

Slowly and firmly, as though not to draw attention to them, Alabaster removed Pax’s arms. There was an embarrassed hue to his pale cheeks as he scowled from Pax to Lou Ellen. “You didn’t come to me to devise this plan?” he demanded.

“We thought you’d be mad,” Lou Ellen meeped. She sheepishly poked at the fake dent in her head. By comparison to Alabaster’s effects, hers looked like something out of a D-rate horror movie.

“Oh, I am mad. When we get back, I’m killing you, and then you’ll have to march right back in there and explain to Charon how you’ve shown up twice, then you’ll have to see what he does with you,” Alabaster said.

Pax couldn’t help but grin. Threats aside, he couldn’t handle looking at this very-much-alive Alabaster. It was cute thinking about it: Alabaster finding their, “Went to Underworld. Will bring back souvenirs,” note and stuffing a bunch of sausage links into his shirt, cussing at the confused centaur that could swear he just took Alabaster and Lou Ellen off the ship. He really cared. At least about Lou Ellen.

“Are you making us go back?” she whispered, shuffling away from a wandering soul and closer to her brother. Pax understood. Everything here was cold. Touching another warm person was a nice reminder of the above world.

“How, pray tell, am I to make you go back in our current situation?” Alabaster closed his eyes and rubbed his eyelids. “Mercedes warned me you’d want to go after Axel. I didn’t think the two of you would be stupid enough to throw away your life chasing him or smart enough to get off the boat undetected.”

Lou Ellen and Pax exchanged a glance over Alabaster’s shoulders. Neither could decide if the comment was more compliment or insult.

“So, we’re going after Axel?” Pax clarified.

“We’re certainly not going back the way we came. I have no interest in angering Charon on his own boat,” Alabaster said.

That meant that Alabaster had come down here with his own plan. Even if he didn’t have one when he left, trying to catch them before they went into DOA Recording Studios, he would have come up with one by now. Before Pax could hear any awesome details, their ship pulled up along black sand.

Pax guessed that Hades hadn’t heard the memo—that pink was the new black. If Pax ever got scared while he was down here, he would have to remember to visualize the Underworld in various shades of Easter egg with magenta stalactites meeting a sparkling, rose floor. His stomach dropped about what shade of pink the river would be with its thick eddies. That went too Mayan in his head.

Alabaster tossed the plastic-wrapped suit backwards into the boat, quickly shuffling the younger two off. They didn’t wait to hear what Charon thought of the contents.

They walked towards the airport-like security with ghoulish attendants separating people into various lines. There were signs above the lines, ones that Pax couldn’t read since the letters jumbled into incomprehension.

A low whine, like that of an injured puppy, echoed around the chamber. Yea, there were wails too, but those were human wails. Pax was way less interested in those. He couldn’t find the source of the animal noises until Lou Ellen tugged furiously on his jacket.

Pax didn’t know how he missed the view before. Unlike Alabaster, Lou Ellen, and Axel, he struggled to see through the Mist. Even so, the Mist deserved a pay raise.

A few yards ahead of them was a massive Rottweiler with three heads. Maybe the truck-sized dog would have normally been intimidating; Pax had heard some intimidating stories about Cerberus. Instead, the dog just looked pathetic, curled up and nursing a paw. Pax could see why.

There was a sword imbedded between two toes.

“He’s hurt!” Pax cried.

“Ajax, no,” Alabaster growled.

Lou Ellen joined in the cry, “We have to help him.”

“What part of—”

“Please!” Pax and Lou Ellen said together.

“Grant me the patience of the Furies,” Alabaster said under his breath.

One of the heads must have caught their scent. It perked up and glanced in their direction, growling.

The other two were licking at the injured paw still. He looked cute, the way a monster truck might if painted with bambis and rabbits.

Alabaster stopped in his tracks. He fumbled with his intestines—sausages. Pax really needed to stop thinking of sausage as intestines. “Who do you think stabbed him?” he asked in his you’re stupid if you can’t answer this question and I know you too well to let you play dumb. “See many stray demigods wandering down here with blades?”

“It wasn’t Axel,” Pax said. Axel was obsessed with mythical creature rights and would have known Cerberus was just doing his job. One caged animal to another—Axel would have likely tried to play-wrestle with the beast. “I’ll bet it was Luke.”

“Yea, Luke’s an asshole,” Lou Ellen said.

The two of them vigorously nodded their heads towards Alabaster.

“Lou Ellen,” Alabaster chided, “I expect more creative insults than vulgarity. And you aren’t going to win me over by insulting Castellan.”

Despite him saying that, the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. Until then, Pax hadn’t realized how glad he was to have Alabaster along. The Witch Boy would know his way around the Underworld, or Pax guessed he would. Alabaster held that easy calm, even amongst the dead.

Pax and Lou Ellen would have feigned calm confidence. But, uh, that would have only lasted so long as they got closer to the line’s attendants.

Another of Cerberus’ heads noticed their movement. It raised and joined in the low growl.

The noise didn’t seem to bother Alabaster. “How were you planning on getting past?” he asked, gathering the rest of the sausages from his waist—he must have wrapped them under his shirt, and withdrawing them like a towel around a hand wound.

“We brought a chew toy,” Lou Ellen said. Pax could tell that she wanted to sound proud, but had realized a flaw in their plan. There were three heads and only one chew toy.

“Seriously?” Alabaster’s growl chimed in with Cerberus’.

“I heard it worked for Annabeth,” Pax said.

Although Pax couldn’t see it, he could feel Alabaster roll his eyes. “The amount of inconvenience that girl has caused,” he said under his breath.

Pax hesitated. Cerberus’ growls were making his body vibrate. This dog was massive, the size of a truck. Pax didn’t even come up to Cerberus’ chest and Cerberus was half-laying down. One of his heads still licked the sword hilt imbedded in his paw. Focus on that, Pax thought, and not on how his teeth are about as long as that sword.

“We have a treat for you!” Alabaster called. His voice was way too cold for dealing with a ball of cute fluffiness and death. Pax had a feeling that Alabaster had never been allowed pets as a child. Other than Axel and Pax. Pax was fairly certain that they were pets to Alabaster.

Cerberus stood up. When he applied pressure to his front paw, all three heads whimpered. They pulled the paw up slightly, to alleviate the pressure.

“Go fix his paw if you wish. I can only hold him for a few moments with this,” Alabaster said. “If you take too long or are sloppy, you’ll get yourself killed.”

For an instant, Pax wondered if Alabaster was nervous. The Witch Boy unwrapped a link of sausage and tossed it into the air towards Cerberus.

The two heads less affected by the wound snapped at it, nipping at each other to bite it to pieces, probably the same way they would do with Pax’s limbs if he was caught.

Its breath flooded over them, almost as bad as Pax’s little brother’s, Hiro’s breath.

“You suck at this,” Lou Ellen said, pulling a link from Alabaster. “You heard him, Pax. Have fun getting that sword out. Hey puppers! Look what I got for you puppers!”

Her voice raised in pitch and excitement. The sentiment worked. Cerberus sat upright, letting his butt drop back onto the ground. From what Pax had heard of Annabeth’s interactions with this dog, he thought their red ball plan might have worked with Lou Ellen’s charm. Uh—natural charm. No witchy charm required.

Pax puffed up his cheeks and popped them, realizing Lou Ellen had volunteered him for the harder job. His heartbeat pounded in his head. It’s just a cute, injured puppy, he told himself, It just so happens that it wouldn’t need to chew to swallow you.

Alabaster gave Lou Ellen a look that might have been reproachful or approving. He handed her the rest of the sausage as Cerberus’ short tail thumped against the black sand, echoing around the chamber. Pax thought it was weird that interacting with this dog wasn’t a red flag for the Underworld Security. What dead person wanted to poke at the landowner’s attack dog?

Alabaster made a few signs in the air around Pax’s head, muttering in Latin. Was he making him invisible? Or at least making him blend in with the stone? Or smell less like a delicious treat? Pax hoped all of the above. When Pax glanced down at his hands, they still looked visible and potentially delicious to a monster.

“We don’t have enough sausages for you to hesitate,” Lou Ellen said.

Pax swallowed. He thought about Juana, Axel’s jaguar. Their father bought it for him a few months after they were forced back “home.” Axel warned his siblings not to go near Juana without him, since she could tear them to shreds. Juana was a tenth the size of Cerberus.

From what he knew of Juana, there was no point in trying to sneak up. He approached Cerberus’ injured paw, hands outstretched in attempt to look non-threatening. Not that a 4’7 rail of cuteness could look threatening.

The other two heads were locked on Lou Ellen, or fighting over bits of sausage she threw.

The last head faced him. The eyes didn’t quite focus on Pax, showing Alabaster’s spell must have done something. Pax heartbeat thudded in his head as he took the last few steps to Cerberus’ foot. The dog hadn’t batted him out of existence yet.

The head whimpered and pulled its paw closer to its body.

“It’s okay,” Pax said, the way he did when his littlest brother had a nightmare. “I just want to help. It’ll be quick, like ripping off a Band Aid.”

That felt like a threat to Pax. Just gonna take that sharp, pointy thing in your paw and move it around a bit.

“Pax,” Alabaster said in warning.

Pax didn’t look over to see why. He figured it had to do with how the middle head had turned to sniff furiously in his direction.

Now or to Xibalba, Pax thought. He wrapped his fingers around the cold metal of the hilt and pulled up, trying not to twist the blade or yank at an angle.

It slid out easily.

Pax wanted to gloat about the Sword in the Paw and how he’d be king of the Cerberi.

His mouth went dry instead.

When he wretched the blade out, dark liquid splattered up from the paw. Something clear and goopy dropped on his head from above—saliva.

Pax puffed up his cheeks and popped them, looking up. The other two heads glowered down at him. Their teeth were barred within inches of his face. Their low growl rattled his skull.

He trembled, thinking at least one good thing would come out of this: if he died in the Underworld, he didn’t need to worry about going through Charon’s Waiting Room again.

***

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! And I hope you and your loved ones are staying healthy and safe!

Stay tuned next week for part X!

#Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Heroes of Olympus #Tales from Mount Othrys #fanfic #PJO #HOO #TFMO #pax #lou ellen #Alabaster #CUTE PUPPERS!!!!#irritable bowel syndrome #Also known as Alabaster #I hope you guys are doing well! Stay safe!

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reeree1500 · 5 years ago

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The Return- Part 9

Disclaimer: Im so sorry for keeping you guys waiting, but Ive been trying to figure out my new schedule and had literally no time to write anything down 😬 This part contains lots of angst and honestly I don't feel like its the best🤣 I want to thank y'all for all the love and support💕☺️And forgive me in advance for this is 100% gonna be utter shit😭🙏🏽 So don't kill me😅

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @amy8220 @affection-rabbit @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19

- Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Warnings: Angst, Violence, bad grammar + spelling.😂

Your POV

“My wife...” At Ivar’s words you had felt as if your heart had been ripped out of your chest, crumpled, and stomped on by him right in front of you. You just looked at the blonde beauty and thought about how perfect she was and how you could have never compared to her. “(Y/n), are you alright? You seem pale and quite unwell.” Freydis says to you with what would seem as genuine concern in her eyes. Your mind was at a loss for words, something that did not happen often to you anymore. You didn't know whether it could've been out fo jealousy or if out of shock and what seemed like a flare of anger rising in you. “Just a little light headed, that's all. Anyways, are you alright if we go up to the castle now? Or are there anymore people on the ship?” You say through gritted teeth and a fake smile on your face. Freydis exchanges a look with Ivar and he then turns to you with a smile on his face nodding. As the three of you turn to walk towards the hill leading to the castle, you noticed how Freydis gushed over Ivar in front of you. Occasionally she would turn and pretend to admire her surroundings and meet your eyes trying to show off. You promised yourself that for the love of your siblings and family that you would go along with the facade and pretend as if you didn't want to kill her every time she clung onto him like that. But it was proving much harder than you had initially thought. “Freydis, I would like a moment to talk to (y/n). You can continue making your way to the castle with a few of my men, just be careful love.” You heard Ivar say to her as his lips grazed hers.

Why had you been so jealous? You were happily married now to Arthur and had 2 beautiful children by him. As you would not let yourself think otherwise as to who the possibility of who the father could be. Not paying attention to Ivar or his “wife” you kept looking out towards the gardens and the townspeople. Your body is then whisked around rapidly by your so called “brother” and you come face to face for the first time in 4 years. “Why?” “Why what Ivar?” You say rolling your eyes at him trying to avoid this touchy subject. “You know exactly what!” He says pulling you off to the side and out of hearing range of anyone around. “How could you keep my children away from me!”

Ivar says as his grips tightens on your arms, surely to leave a bruise. Back then you would have cowered with fear at his tone of voice. But now you were a queen and Arthur had made you realize that no one not even himself could ever trample over you again! “First of all, you are not the king here and you DO NOT! Call the shots!” You say gripping his hand and forcing it to unclasp your arm. “Secondly, my children have a father and his name is Arthur Pendragon. The King of this land and I am his queen and I will not have you disrespect him with such blasphemous words leaving your mouth!” You say to him, with as much venom as you could muster laced into your words. His eyes showed shock and admiration in them. Surely in his mind he thought about how much you had changed and how the once scared girl that graced the land of Kattegat was now gone. Ivar knew the answer to his question though. You could not bare to let him in on the fact that you had bared him children, it would have placed everyone you cared for in the danger you had placed so far away from you. Not waiting for him to answer and get his words together you turn around and leave him behind in the dust. Walking away you felt empowered and for the first time like you had the control over him and it felt good.

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Making your way through the halls of the castle you finally reach the hall to see everybody gathered and chatting with each other. Marjorie notices you enter and springs quickly from Arthur’s lap and makes a bee line for your arms. “Mama! You're just in time, Uncle Bjorn is telling us stories of when you were my age. Frankly you were quite boring, but it’s okay you’ve gotten a wee bit more fun!” She said as she clung around your neck. This child you say as you internally roll your eyes. She could always leave a whole room without words in seconds. But it was a quality that you were quite fond of. Carrying Marjorie in your arms you made your way towards Arthur and sat beside him. Marjorie then jumps from your arms to Arthurs lap and starts to play with the buttons on his jacket. Marjorie adored her father and it was evident to everyone who would look their way. Especially Ivar who sulked and gritted his teeth every time his eyes laid on her playing with Arthur.

Arthur lived to serve our children, but Marjorie was his mini-me. However, Erik was all mine. At that I call Erik away from the candies I know that he so desperately wants to eat, but that I will not let him. This boy is hyper enough as it is and I cannot handle so much excitement and emotions today. His little eyes turn to me pleading for a small bite of the sweets that are bestowed upon him. However, I am firm in my decision and although disappointed he makes his way to me with a huge smile on his face and his arms outstretched. Holding him in my arms I cannot resist, but spin him around as we both giggle and fall to the floor in a fit of laughter. “You're an exceptional mother (y/n), I always knew you would be.” Bjorn says whilst looking toward me with tears brimming in his eyes. “I feel incredibly proud of you for pushing past all the horrible things that have been placed in front of you and you coming out on top.” At that tears begin to form in mine. “Ok, Ok. No more crying. I feel as if there has been enough of that in our lives to last us the rest of them.” Hvitserk says whilst laughing. At his comment everyone laughs and that is when Sara enters the hall. “Your highness it is time for their majesties’ lessons.” She says whilst bowing her head. At that Erik and Marjorie stand up and rush towards her. They loved Sara and treated her as if she were their older sister. In fact she was Mira’s younger sister who was sent to me by Gisela when she found out about my pregnancy. I could not have asked for a better tutor for my children. Saying my goodbyes to them I turn to walk towards my husband, but come to notice a certain look on a certain bear like man. Bjorn’s eyes hold an astonished look of admiration and adoration. The look of a man who's been taken to heaven and does not wish to come back.

Arthur taps my knee to grab my attention, but he notices what Ive just witnessed and a smirk is displayed on his face. “It seems that our little Sara has caught your interest, Bjorn?” Arthur says playfully to him. “Yes, it appears to be so. Ive never met such a beautiful woman in my life.” Bjorn says still in what seems to be a trans like state of some kind. “Bjorn, surely you’ve met more beautiful women than a simple tutor and maid, have you not?” Freydis says from Ivar’s side. Her comments made by blood boil, which Arthur noticed and took quick action against. He placed his arms around my shoulders and whispered sweet nothings into my ears. He then lays one of his hands on my lap, to then which I place my hands on his, holding him ever close to us.

The way she caresses his hair and the way she positions herself beside him is bothersome to me. It goes to show that Freydis is a woman that will do anything to keep him, even if that a means worshipping him like a God. Trying to lighten the mood and ease the tension that quickly seems to be building up. Arthur asks about Kattegat and how it has been since we left. What we didn't know was that at this very moment just a few feet away was the person who would bring about sorrow and grief everywhere they went. Especially to me.

-------------------------------

Bjorn’s POV

When Arthur asked about the current state of Kattegat, my hands balled into fists. Not by his question, but because the ruin of Kattegat had come with us to England. “Well, it could be better, but I will not ruin our visit with such an ill subject.” I reply in a tone in which everyone understands that the subject matter at hand should not be one to be discussed. At the moment (y/n) decides to turn the attention upon Ivar and his new wife. It was obvious that she was hurt by it, however knowing my sister she would never admit that to a soul. She was moodier then I could remember her being, but it could just be the fact that people in England are moodier then everyone. “When and how did this come about, and why had we not heard sooner about this union Ivar. Where you hiding your wife from me? Or did you simply want to take us by surprise when you brought your whore to a place where my children reside? Huh!” (Y/n) says while she stands up, rage very much evident in her eyes.

At that the room became silent and servants who seemed shocked and outright astonished by the fact that (y/n) was behaving this way. Arthur stood up from his throne and pulled her body into his as a way to try to calm her down, but we knew that it would not be so easy. “Control yourself (y/n), please. This is not good for you and you know it. The doctor said you should rest and not become stressed. Please I beg of you, listen to me and stand down.” Arthur whispers into her ear. After what seems like ages (y/n) looks down and Arthur softens his hold on her. A quiet Im sorry leaves her lips and she walks out of the room towards what seems to be her quarters. I would have to check up on her, this was very unsalted behaviour for her and it worried me.

Arthur clears his throat and asks the servants to shows us to our rooms, but not before asking Ivar to stay behind. “Ivar, please stay. I would like to have a word with you and apologize for my wife’s behaviour towards you both.” As everyone moves Freydis seems to stay in her place by Ivar’s side. Obviously not getting the fact that she was not part of the conversation that was to be had. “Alone.” Arthur says while facing the window and his back to them. Something that I knew bothered Ivar very much...Authority and power which he could do nothing about.

---------------------

Arthur’s POV

“So, what is it that you wanted to speak to me about, besides your wife’s ridiculous outburst?...Your majesty.” Ivar says through gritted teeth. Turning around I keep my face stoic as ever, however all I wanted was to punch this man in the face for all the pain and suffering he had not only caused my wife, but her people as well. I had heard of Ivar’s actions against his people from my spies in Kattegat and from Bjorn himself. I knew that the once respect that I held for this man had gone out the window the moment he started burning everyone who opposed him. “Come, I wish to show you something out on the balcony.” I say to him as I walk without waiting for his reply. I can feel his eyes burning holes into my skull, but I care not for this as I have more pressing matters at hand.

Stepping out onto the balcony I look over the lands that had been bestowed upon me by my father. “These lands, were given to me by my father, who which in turn got them from his father, and so on. One day when (y/n) and I are gone these lands shall go to Erik or Marjorie... Our children.” In this moment Ivar scoffs and I could see him roll his eyes at me. “Your children? We both know who damn well! Fathered those children Arthur! It wouldn't take much to see the resemblance between us!” He yells at my direction. “I invited you to my home so that my wife would be able to see her family once again away from the dangers of Kattegat! But I now see that it was a mistake to invite you here. Erik and Marjorie are not and will never be yours! And on top of that you come with a “wife” who's sole purpose of your marriage was to get your mind off of my wife! MY WIFE! Whom shall never be yours!” I yell at him as my patience wears thin. Unable to hold back the anger and resentment I feel towards him anymore, I grab him by the collar and push him towards the railing. Grabbing him so that he may not fall, but just enough to try and scare him.

However, I underestimated him and feel my footing quickly fall from beneath me. Ivar then lunges himself on top of me and begins to throw punches left and right. I dodge and fight back as much as I can, but he is able to get a couple of punches in. Spotting an opportunity I quickly flip us over and start punching him for everything he has done. At this point I see red and fear that there will be nothing to stop me from killing him. Except my wife. “Arthur! Let him go! What are you doing!” She says as she runs towards us. In that moment I forgot about ivar and stared at my wife, but it only took a second for Ivar to kick me and cause me to crash against the railing itself. “Ugh!” Before I could lunge myself at him (y/n) threw herself in front of him. And I stopped dead in my tracks. How could I have been so foolish to think that she could have ever loved me back. To think that we could have actually had something. NO! She will always choose him, she will always choose Ivar.

Your POV

I couldn't let them go on. I couldn’t let my husband kill the man that I once loved. No matter how much he deserved it, but Arthur didn't understand that. He didn't understand that I had put Ivar behind me and that now all I wanted and all I needed was him. Arthur looked like as if his world had been flipped upside down and like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, by me. Shaking his head he looks down and heads inside. Not before stopping and turning around to face Ivar one last time. “If you ever utter the words that Erik and Marjorie are yours, I will not hesitate to kill you on the spot. Im done showing mercy and being the fool.” And with that he walks inside bloodied and leaving me astonished. “(y/n), I...” “Shut up! Just shut up! How dare you! Did I not warn you that something like this would happen! You need to stop Ivar, Erik and Marjorie are not yours and will never be! Arthur has been the father that they need and deserve. You on the contrary will never be their father, because all you do is bring me pain!” I yell at him through the tears that fall down my face like a cascade.

“How could I have proven to you that I could be great father, when you didn't even give me a chance! I gave you a way out of the situation you were in! I told you that we could have run away together and lived together as a family away from it all. But you! You decided that I wasn't good enough for you!” He says standing up from the ground cradling his side, obviously showing that Arthur had got in a good punch or two. “I couldnt have and you know it! Floki he...” I begin to say before I stop myself and think about that night. “What! What did he say to you (y/n)! What lies are you gonna spew out about the only man that has ever cared for me my entire life!” He says getting extremely close to me, his eyes showing hints of a side to him that I had never come across but had heard from the gossip and read from the letters Bjorn sent to Arthur. “Your precious Floki threatened me with your life and that of everyone who is close to me, if I didn't leave Kattegat! So yes! Blame me Ivar for being so selfish that I placed your life and the lives of everyone I cared about before my own!” With that I left Ivar standing there in the balcony by himself, just like I had left him that night 4 years ago.

---------------------------

1 month ago...

“What do you need of me, my queen?” Freydis said to Aslaug. “Ivar and his brothers shall be visiting England fairly soon and I will need you to be my eyes and ears into everything that occurs there. I wish to know exactly what (y/n) and her husband have been up to, I hear that their union had been blessed with children. Find out more about them and if you ever get a chance, take this.” Aslaug says as she pull out a vial. “This will ensure your reign as Queen of Kattegat and will finally put an end to that Christian child. I do not care of she's miles away, while she breathes Ivar will never be yours. And he will never grow to be the man that I wish him to be.” Aslaug says with a cold heart and an even colder face. “But, she's of no danger to me. Ivar is mine and he always will be, its been fated by the gods themselves.” Freydis says giving the vile back. In that moment Floki comes out from the shadows. “I have lost all whom I care about, because of (y/n). Ragnar, Bjorn, Ivar and Helga have all turned their back on me because of her. I was forced to kill my own wife because of what she did in order to save this child. And you too will lose, if you do not comply with our demands.” He says whilst placing the vial back into Freydis’ palm. “You must do this if not for us, then for Ivar and all of the gods.”

“I will...”

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i4z-0892-il · 6 years ago

Text

Memories

Author: Jena @i4z-0892-il

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: The Reader suffering from amnesia has been trying to figure out how to function in a world she doesn’t quite fit into, and remember a past she just can’t recall. Until someone almost familiar steps into her life.

Word Count: 4,773

Warnings: Emotional distress, physical aggression

A/N: This one is probably only going to be 2 or 3 parts, kind of depends how much I wind up cramming into each chapter.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

You tapped wine red fingernails against the countertop absentmindedly staring into space. It was a slow day, the second the sun went down the bar would be packed, and you’d have plenty to do to pass the time, but as it was there wasn’t a soul around. That was just the lunch shift though, on occasion there’d be a random who’d stumble in, order a beer maybe a burger, but usually it was just you and Benny, the owner and cook, until the evening shift began.

“Hey, Y/n, you wanna quit daydreamin’ and slice up some lemons for me?” Benny called with a thick cajun drawl through a small square window from the kitchen at the end of the bar. You didn’t move from your spot, or break your focus which was on nothing in particular when you answered him.

“They’re already done and in the fridge Benny. Top shelf.” You dropped your chin into the palm of your hand as you leaned over the bartop, your mind on another planet entirely. You found yourself gazing off into la-la-land more often than not, visions of another life playing through your head so vividly you could almost smell them and taste them. So vivid it could have been real, but the subject of your daydreams and nightmares was so far fetched there was no explaining them other than an overactive imagination. You’d had them since you could remember- though the joke there was that you couldn’t remember very far back as it were.

What you did remember was waking up in a sterile white room, tubes and IV’s everywhere and a Doctor and Nurse standing over you with their eyes wide like they’d seen a miracle happen. They weren’t wrong.

“Miss, do you know where you are?” The Doctor asked, her eyes kind and sympathetic.

“A hospital?” When you answered your own voice seemed foreign and hoarse with disuse.

“Do you know what year it is?”

“No.”

“Do you know how you got here?”

“...No....”

“Do you remember your name?”

“No…” Your voice was little more than a whisper, and their questions drew nothing but empty space in your memory where answers should have been. The nothingness that their questions drew from you began to fill up with panic, the panic of not knowing. You couldn’t remember your own name, you had to have one. You knew things, words, colors, shapes, sounds. You could tell faces apart, and gauge where you were, but around that there was a gray fog where you should have been able to pluck details out of.

The Doctor and her Nurse exchanged pitiful glances, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear what they had to say, what they knew but you didn’t. Then she told you that you’d been in an accident, and were lucky to have survived. Broken leg, broken arm, dislocated jaw, punctured lung, and you’d been nearly ripped to shreds to the point that the surgeons basically had to Frankenstein you back together. The real kicker was when she told you that you’d been in a coma for the last two months, and had been kept on life support for the first three weeks of your residency. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, and you couldn’t process any of it through the sensory overload.

“An accident? Coma? I- I don’t understand.” You stated sharply. Saying the words out loud made less sense than they did hearing them. You could understand why you couldn’t remember, or how you couldn’t remember. They hadn’t expected you to come off life-support, let alone wake up, hopes for the Jane Doe on floor 4 room 437 were grim. The fact that you were missing memory wasn’t as surprising to them as it was to you. “Who am I?”

“We were hoping you might be able to tell us. The gentlemen who brought you in said your name was Y/n, no last name, they couldn’t tell us anything else.”

“Gentlemen? You mean like friends? Family?”

“They said they saw your car flip over, and that you told them your name before you passed out, then they brought you here. They came back to check on you a few times, but that’s been a while ago now. You came in without any identification. ”

“Did… was anyone looking for me? Did I have family come see me?”

“I’m sorry… The Police searched missing persons but couldn’t find anything.”

The next couple of weeks following that were filled with more Doctors, Physical Therapy, counselors and other Specialists to help you remember who you were, and how to fit into life not knowing who you are. The whole process moved too far too fast, you were bounced out of care as quickly as possible, and once you’d regained strength enough to walk and function like a more-or-less normal human being they kicked you to the curb and left you to fend for yourself.

The hardest part wasn’t learning how to walk again, or the cognitive tests- it was the foreign face you saw when you looked in the mirror. The first time you looked you scoffed, you weren’t what you had expected. Not that you’d necessarily expected someone else, but the girl in your reflection seemed as strange and distant to you as everyone else. It felt like being trapped in the skin of someone else. It was a face that you’d never get used to, no matter how hard you tried, uncomfortable in your own skin on such a primal level. You couldn’t complain so much, you were beautiful in your own right, and folks took notice of that fact. But their eyes were invasive, and you’d have preferred to blend into the background.

That’s when you found yourself working at the bar, nothing but a first name that you couldn’t even guarantee was yours, no last name, no memories, and no professional skills that you were aware of. Benny didn’t ask too many questions, and while he was salty with everyone else he had a soft spot for you, he liked you, he liked your unfiltered mouth and how aloof you were. Most people were kinder to you after they found out you couldn’t remember 98% of your life, well mostly they pitied you, treated you like some broken, fragile thing. Or like you were like you were stupid. But you weren’t dumb, at least you didn’t think so. What if you’d been a lawyer before the accident? Or a Doctor, or Teacher? What if you’d written a best-seller? Or maybe you were a promising Botanist. Or a Nuclear Physicist perhaps. The further you fell down the rabbit hole the harder it was to bring yourself out of it.

The fact was that whoever you were before the accident didn’t matter anymore, regardless of how curious you were. Answers to your questions were going to remain elusive til the day you died probably. No family was looking for you that you knew of, you hadn’t had any visitors besides the two guys who were kind enough to bring you into the hospital, but not invested enough to stick around for long. The fact that you seemed to belong to no one was easily the most heartbreaking aspect of the whole ordeal. You had no one, no one to hold you hand while you were hooked up to machines that were breathing for you. No one to whisper stories to you in hopes to bring you out of your coma. No one who cared, no one who was looking for you, no one who wanted you. Maybe it meant that you were just a horrible person before the accident, maybe you were lonesome, maybe you didn’t have anyone anyway. The maybe’s drove you crazy, because it was just like staring into nothing and looking for answers.

Being at the bar and having something to do to take your mind off of it helped, you found yourself glaring at your own reflection less, less pissed at yourself for just not being able to remember. Eventually you began to feel less dumb for not being able to recall things either. While your frustration at yourself began to ebb you found yourself off in your own little world more and more and more, finding it nearly impossible to drag yourself from. The visions you had there were just more fantastic and captivating, and vivid, so vivid you could smell the iron in blood, and feel the cold spots that would make your whole body shudder. It was your personal escape as well as nightmare. The things you saw in your head should have terrified you, literal monsters: ghosts, witches and werewolves. It should have scared you, most normal people would have been horrified being plagued by them night after night, day after day. But not you. It wasn’t that you were unbothered entirely, because the tingle up your spine, and the way your heart would race you knew it was fear, but you didn’t feel afraid. You took them on and came out victorious time and time again, more often than not you weren’t facing them alone either.

You could never see their faces always clouded, or just out of the corner of your eye. You knew there were two of them, you could feel them around you. When they were present in your fantasies all doubt, all fear, all apprehension slipped away. Every so often you could feel one of them wrap arms around you, protecting and tender, and you’d catch the scent of leather, coffee and sandalwood. Sometimes though on nights you were lucky, when the witching hour muffled the sounds of the world around you deathly silent you could hear him speak your name. That was your favorite part, his voice was low and rough, but there was a sweetness to it when he spoke to you. On nights when his voice wasn’t there to lull you to sleep your world seemed emptier, sadder.

People came and went, ordering drinks and food, small talk, flirting, and you just went through the motions your head stuck in the clouds, not really there. You heard the way they talked about you though, when they thought you weren’t listening. How you’d just magically appeared one day two months ago which meant you were fresh meat, and how fascinating you were because of your amnesia, you couldn’t have been more in the center of attention if you’d painted a target on your back. You were shiny and new, mysterious and uninterested in the world around you which meant that you were a challenge, and if you knew nothing else- it was that men loved a challenge.

The same group of guys almost every time you worked all hovering over the same three tables night after night, it was a small town, and they all worked at the factory just a few miles down the road. They were friendly enough initially, welcoming you to town, asking you questions you couldn’t give answers to. Hell at first you’d even venture to say they were nice, they tipped well, and a few of them seemed to go out of their way trying to make you feel at home. Until word got out about your little condition. You weren’t sure who spilled the beans, it was something you’d kept tight lipped about. You kept to yourself, answered only questions you had a solid response to and just glossed over the rest with a charming smile and dismissive “Oh- you know…” But once word got out that you were broken, that you were vulnerable, and had no one in life who cared about you enough to find you, things changed. Suddenly you were a piece of meat, and each one of those men wanted a bite.

The change in the air was so abrupt it was almost suffocating, you knew they had been flirty in the beginning but now they were downright barbaric in the chase. Unrelenting and unabashedly forward, you could feel their eyes burning into you everywhere you walked. Cat calls, and filthy whispers when they thought you couldn’t hear them.

“Oh I’d give her something to remember.”

“Maybe I could jog her memory.”

“I’d do things to her she’d never forget.”

It sent chills up your spine every time something came out of their mouths, and it took every fiber of your being not to smash a beer bottle over Parker Delaney’s head when he grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into his lap one night. His foul breath reeking of beer and hot wings, greasy fingers digging into your hips hard enough he might leave bruises. That was it, that was when something in you snapped and you shot you an elbow connecting with his nose, leaving it black and blue and disfigured, and he was pissed. Thankfully Benny stepped in keeping Parker’s rage at bay, but none of them ever looked at you quite the same after that. Now they looked at you not only like they wanted you, but like they also wanted to hurt you.

“We shouldn’t be here.” Sam said, his leg bouncing anxious and shaking the entire car as he shifted in the seat of the Impala. He knew how difficult this was for Dean, but it’d happened for a reason, and he’d been against the decision from day one but his brother had his mind made. There was no arguing with him after that, but this didn’t sit right with him, this wasn’t something to flip-flop over. “You know what Cas said: don’t go poking at it.”

“I know what Cas said Sam. Just give me ten minutes, one beer, okay?” Dean shot back, irritated by his brothers audacity to remind him of the harsh truth he was already more than aware of. Sam’s face stiffened, he knew it was a bad idea, it wouldn’t be just one beer, or just ten minutes, but the pleading look on Dean’s face, the pain in his eyes, he just couldn’t refuse. It’d been months and against his own better judgment he couldn’t keep himself away anymore. There was a job in the next town and both Sam and Bobby said that someone else should pick it up and take care of it, but he was insistent. They knew the real reason he was so hellbent on working the case, and it wasn’t because of the thing snatching people in the woods, it was her.

“Alright, fine. One beer, but we keep our distance.”

“Got it, here to observe only.” That was all he needed as he slid out of the car a little too quickly, his nerves getting to him, making him jittery. He walked up to the door of the bar his hand resting on the handle but unable to open it. Doubt crept into his mind fogging his previously solid plan. He’d been so sure, just one look, just to peek in and make sure she was alright and that would be enough for him. He’d be satisfied and never come back. But now that only a solid wooden door stood in his way he wasn’t so sure anymore. Sam stood behind him patiently awaiting a decision, not wanting to steer him one way or the other but they couldn’t stand at the door forever; he cleared his throat and Dean jumped back to reality, pulling the door open.

They slipped through the crowd of people finding a hightop in the corner, Dean’s eyes searching for one familiar face in the sea of locals.

“Maybe she’s not here tonight.” Sam offered, trying to soften the blow when Dean disheartened, couldn’t seem to find her.

“No, she’s here.”

“Well how do you know that? She’s gotta go home sometime right? Can’t work all the time.”

“I just know.”

“It’s not like it came from a reliable source. I mean Jackson Cleveland? The guy can barely spell his own name.”

“So?”

“So… He told us he saw someone who might be her here more than three months ago. Even if it was her there’s nothing saying she’d still be here now.”

“Might is good enough for me.”

“Look, Dean I know you feel guilty about what happened, and I know you care about her-”

“Then you know why I have to make sure she’s okay.” Dean cut him off flatly and finishing the conversation. Sam pursed his lips and leaned back in his seat, knowing that nothing he could say would change a damn thing. Barely a minute had passed, but damn if it didn’t feel like a fucking eternity, each second ticking by agonizingly slow. Dean ran his palm over his face trying to wipe away the anxiety, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice come from behind him.

“Hey there guys, I’m Y/n, can I start you off with something to drink?” You asked, a chipper smile on your face, as you laid down napkins, when you turned to look over your table you were stunned by the two gods who’d just sat in your section. You might have been more excited had the one with the perfectly pouty lips not been staring at you like he’d seen a ghost. The one with long dark hair cleared his throat snapping the other out of his trance.

“Yeah, thanks, two beers, and he’ll take a double of whiskey.” Sam answered quickly.

“Okay, coming right up.” You said, walking away quickly. You’d had a few strange encounters now but that one was going to stick with you. You walked to the bar and tapped Amber, another waitress on the shoulder and asked if you had something on your face. She shrugged and shook her head as she handed you your order. All the while you could feel his eyes on you, but it wasn’t the starving hungry gaze that Parker and his buddies gave you. This was something else.

“Dude, you’re gonna freak her out, fix you damn face.” Sam demanded leaning forward and swatting Dean in the arm. He jerked away from you and turned his focus back on Sam, knowing he was right. But he couldn’t help it. He’d played this moment over in his head hundreds of times, what he’d say to you, how he’d say it. He’d rehearsed this in his head until he’d played out every possibility, but when you were standing there smiling at him it was different. And it was absolutely heartbreaking knowing that you didn’t recognize him, a part of him had hoped, but it was for the best. After what happened, he didn’t think he could forgive himself, but you didn’t have to continue to suffer, you could have something normal, something safe.

“I know, I can’t help it.”

“Well figure it out, we’re supposed to be keeping our distance, and this is way too close.”

“Alright guys,” you announced, as you set two beer bottle down and a shot glass in front of Dean. You shifted eyes between them locking on to olive green and your heart flipped in your chest making you weak in the knees. You ripped your eyes away finding it so much harder than it should have been for a random face in the crowd, albeit a very handsome one. “Can I get you anything else?”

“No, we’re good.” Dean finally answered, you nodded and turned to walk away. “Thanks Y/n.”

Everything froze in place, your whole body going completely solid, as an aching knot wrapped itself tight in your very core. You swallowed hard trying to force down panic, elation? You weren’t even sure how you felt it seemed the full spectrum of emotion had solidified right in the center of your chest. You knew that voice. You turned your head cautious and fully aware that you might have been standing at the edge of something monumental.

“Sorry, what was that?” You were begging him to say your name again, to confirm what you already knew.

“I said thanks… Y/n.” He answered carefully, the look in your eye alerting him to dangerous territory. Breath caught in your chest when he spoke your name again. It was his voice, the same voice that had felt more like home to you than anything else in the last six months. The same voice that made you feel safe when you were alone at night. It was a voice that you were daring to hope about, maybe…

‘Do-Do I know you?” You asked hopeful, your heart swelling and threatening to take over. Sam’s face screwed up as he glared across the table at his brother, wordlessly, and in shock. Dean was taken aback and everything in his mind fizzled out all at once as he laughed and shook his head trying to form words again, but his brain simply would not work short-circuiting in panic.

“What? No! No, I’ve never seen you before in my life. I‘ve never been here before. This is the first time I’ve even been to Aurora, Minnesota.” Dean stammered with a nervous laugh, wincing when Sam kicked him in the leg shooting a face that could only be described as “what the actual fuck?” He gave you an awkward smile before continuing. “Sorry, just got one of those faces I guess.”

It tore him to shreds from the inside out to watch you face when his words landed on you. A little bit light in your eyes flickered and died out right in front of him, and it was his fault. He watched your shoulders drop, and your face fall you whispered a quick “Oh, sorry, my mistake,” before you turned and walked back to the bar to get your next order. All he wanted to do was to hold you, and wrap you up in his arms again, the last six months had been hell on Earth. He told himself it was better this way, your life would be better, you’d have a chance to live normally. No monsters, no worries, no fear of what went bump in the night.

“Dean what the hell was that, you lie professionally and that’s the best you could come up with? Have you lost your mind?”

“What? What did you want me to say?”Dean defended as he threw back his whiskey.

“Man, I told you we shouldn’t have come here.”

“Well good for you Sam, you want a medal or something?”

Trudging to the back you’d intended to pick up food for table seven, but you were in your head again, stuck there replaying his voice in your head over and over. You were certain, you’d know that voice anywhere, and it crushed you that you were wrong. There was a split second of hope that maybe he did know you, maybe he could tell you something about yourself that you didn’t know. Shed some kind of light on the empty fog that clouded your mind.

“Hey, Earth to Y/n. What’s got you makin’ that face for?” Benny called, waving a hand in front of your face until you snapped back to reality.

“I’m not making a face.” You frowned.

“Well ya look awful pensive, more so than usual.”

“Nothing, I just thought I might have remembered something- but I guess I was wrong.” You shrugged trying to brush it off like it wasn’t a colossal deal. Scooping up the food for your table, you turned on heel and left before he could say anything else. Benny always knew when you were lying, you thought you were pretty good at it but apparently he had a better bullshit detector than most people.

You dropped Parker’s plate of hot wings in from of him unceremoniously, you weren’t happy that he was even allowed to come back after last time. But he swore he was just drunk, and didn’t know what he was doing, and it was the only bar in town.

“Hey Y/n, got any plans after work?” Parker said practically drooling down your shirt. Sneering you recoiled in disgust as the potent smell of beer, stale cigarettes and weed hit your nose.

“Yeah Parker, I’m going home and I’m going to bed.”

“Y’know, it’s just not right that you’re all on your own at night. S’dangerous for a woman to be by herself, y’never know who’s out there lurkin’ in the shadows. I’d be happy to keep you company.”

“Yeah I’m sure you would.” You stated abrupt, not willing to play into him tonight. A chill went down your back when his hand wrapped around your wrist as your tried to leave.

“I would, you know that. Y/n I’ve been watchin’ you for months now, I tip you real good, I even apologized real nice for our little domestic spat. What more does a man have to do to get your attention?”

“Let go of me.” You hushed your eyes frozen on a single spot on the table, you didn’t like to be touched. Least of all by Parker Delaney.

“C’mon now Y/n, just let me take you home, give me a chance, I’m sure I could make you real happy, then you ain’t gotta be afraid of what’s out there anymore.”

“The only thing I’m afraid of, Parker, is losing my job if you don’t let go of me- because I’m gonna break you fucking nose again.” You seethed your eyes darting from the table back to him, ready for blood. He smirked at you and gripped your wrist tighter, twisting it in an unnatural way and forcing you closer into his proximity.

“You watch your fuckin’ mouth when you talk to me, bitch. I own this town.” His voice was low, and threatening and there was a very real fear creeping up your spine.

“The lady said let her go.” Dean snarled, stepping behind you and towering over your frame so small compared to his. He’d watched too much of that interaction to stay in his seat, the second Parker put his hands on you he saw red. Fuck the distance he was supposed to be keeping, there was no way in hell he’d let you be manhandled by some hick who clearly didn’t understand the word “no.” Parker eyed him up and down, Dean was taller, and though he was sure pretty, he was much more menacing. He’d seen enough, and spilled enough blood that it was nice and obvious he was someone not to be crossed in a dark alley. And Parker wasn’t quite that stupid, but he wasn’t all that bright either.

“The lady and I were talking, now mind your own.”

“I will, as soon as you let her go.”

“Fine.” Parker said, a light bulb going off in his head, he shoved you into Dean’s chest who wrapped an arm around your shoulders and held you firm to him, as Parker and his crew got up and left.“Y/n, I’ll see you later.”

It felt more like a threat than anything else, but it was quickly washed away with the familiar scent of leather, coffee and sandalwood. His arms felt like home and safety. Dean turned green eyes down to you a tenderness there that was previously nothing but murder.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he stepped back. He wanted to keep you there, to protect you and feel you against him more than anything in the world. He’d give up just about anything to spend one more night with you, but he wasn’t willing to give up your happiness for it. So he pulled himself away from you, every piece of him cracking as he did.

Nodding wordlessly you tried to pull yourself together but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, trying to study his face willing it to reveal something to you.that hole in your chest growing and threatening to swallow you whole, because you knew there was something about him. You knew it, he was important, you heard his voice for the last several months soothing you to sleep, you felt the warmth and his scent radiating from him to you. He cringed under your gaze heartbreaking and lost. Sam patted him on the shoulder, a wordless conversation exchanged and then he left. He left you standing there in the middle of a crowded bar more lost and desolate than you had felt before. If he turned and looked back at you his resolve would crumble like a house of cards, he couldn’t see your face like that. He’d already gotten too close.

#dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fic #spn fic #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #jena writes #memories #dean fanfiction #dean fanfic #dean fic

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craftyeggalienwombat-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Kool Krust Klan

Kool Krust Klan by Clarence Dair IV

the year was 181904 the team was getting prepared to summon a ghost that was said to be from a tree; this ghost was said to be called nature. the best way to look for this ghost is when you uses the symbols of Clarence from 2018. their has been a delay because lord Clarence had given 150 symbols to an ex he lost his clue to the life that started the path to hide the ghost called nature. when the Klan started out they would argued about the paper type of the tree, the difference of paper which one would call the correct ghost, and so fourth to meet the ghost of nature, the Klan got confused on the type of paper Clarence used in 2018 and talked about if the paper type was important in the summing of the ghost of nature the Klan had no leader only a table of information in honor for Snok Dair; how all lead to the internet he was making a way for nature’s ghost to live with him during the placement of internet it was said the ghost of nature was honored to be with Clarence during placement.

-Kool Krust Klan

bob: the create has to open side ways

luand: dose it have to be i mean we can have the machine just be un covered

bob: yeah the order of Clarence will see it and desire to know the information of the machine and we have to make sure they don't know about us getting the ghost of nature from clarence's symbols the pope might get involved

luand: nah the order dose not care about ghost since Clarence never pissed off any ghost

rick: isn't that weird that he never pissed off ghost and the ghost are free to be alive

candy: if it wasn't for clarence's magic ghost wouldn't have understood nature

rick: how so

Candy: nature is life & balance the ghost couldn’t find balance due to so much so Clarence use symbols to control the unbalance to crate a new balance of creation & stability

bob: he also stood to the fact no matter what he was a dinosaur

candy: yes & at 25 he became the scholar of unknown

luand: yes we know he is a legend of knowledge

bob; its funny tho like harry potter we all have search for these symbols in our spare time to bring the 2nd reaper, the ghost of nature, and core of earth

rick: yeah how are we supposed to get the core of earth

luand: it dose not say no where all Clarence wrote was that it was like a chip into a computer that made the computer health

rick: okay one more time where can we find that

bob: its his first symbol the yang ying symbol of progression, if you copy it on bamboo paper it will dry into a word called tasktumforious.

rick: & what dose tasktumforious mean?

bob: the brain of holy common sense

rick: and how bout the core?

candy: no you have to look at the symbol till it moves if you see the picture move you are part of Clarence core if you see word like bob you are an unknown Clarence use to teach

luand: his baby choose a few people for his growth it’s never a bad thing not to be part of the core since it was said if he teaches you you will grow your ancient mile and the yous of yourself will be at growth.

candy: other then his infamous rep he was able to calm the beast in him the dragons core and tried to calm others but no mail can stamp his unknown

rick: so this is why he is my lord

bob: sure more like guru a world on our globe

luand: what is the machine for

bob: the machine is to calm & balance the ghost

rick: is that all we are here for and how did you paid this school to let you get accuse to the grounds

bob: i’m rich ..... wish i never said that, alright so listen this school is called foster this was his grade school he toke a 3rd grade picture leaning on a tree

luand: so we are going to put his 150 symbols on the tree

bob: correct

rick: then what

candy: we each hold i copy of his first symbol, it is said to know the ghost of nature you must hold my symbol

rick: so why 150 symbols on the tree

luand: it was written in the 3rd grade he never saw his finger & toe markings and left eye mole so he was actually blind to the beast he was since he was a child that kept wanting to learn

rick: do you think his life was a set-up

candy: yes totally because he didn't have school knowledge into college so he never had knowledge easy intill late teens

rick: he went to college at 17 tho isn't that smart at that

bob: yes it is it is a twist because if he was smart as a child he wouldn't have explored the unknown; when he went to college he was missing knowledge and the missing knowledge made him desire knowledge since knowledge was missing

rick: i heard people in his class & teachers felt award around him luand: because he was not what people recognized, since everyone talked about him it made to easy for him to be weird and hard for him to actually em brass school.

rick: yeah i always argued that since people talked about him when he was around in their life why did it scar him i always felt like he could of that as his advantage

candy: no not really he vowed to learn philosophy & even when the world give up on philosophy to deal with people drama of talking behind his back got to a point where it controlled him i readied he couldn't desire to learn anymore

bob: what ever enough about him the symbols are ready to go around the tree

rick: let me help you

bob: alright

candy: here i have this water ink that allow you to copy a surface of drawing just put the bamboo paper of the art pour water and brush on the ink and the picture comes out perfect all the time

luand: nice where did you find this

candy: i made it myself

luand: beautiful i own a shop back home do you want to sell your product thier.. my store is filled with items from makers like you i own the land so i use the store for people like you and don't have to pay to put your stuff in my store and i only get 2%-5% per month income of the product meaning if your items make a 100 dollars a month then i will take $5-$10 dollars

candy: yeah other then the 4 kits i have for us i have 2 other kits a brought for back-up ill give you dem

luand: perfect

rick: okay we are done

bob: hand me that bucket it has cinnamon sent rose spray to bring the ghost awake

candy: alright y'all each of y'all take one of my kits

bob: nice .................. rick: okay are we ready

candy: yup luand: yes bob: yeah rick: okay all together now 1.... 2.... 3.... bob,candy,luand,rick: TASKTUMFORIOUS ............... (clouds come from the tree which cover the ground now the ground is cloud and what seems like the ocean is in the sky the tree stays till no wind at all)

fonzie fonsie nature ghost: FOOTSIE......... Mmm why are you here what for tell me whom feet can i lick

bob: oh yeah Clarence love for with feet

candy: i know i love Clarence for that so bad

luand: yeah i also dreamed about foot play with Clarence that's why i made him my lord

candy: me too

rick: Mmmm anyways ghost of nature we came to know about the dragon

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: ohumm the dragon..... before i call him can i know why you spent time in order to talk to me or the dragon

candy: we did it so lord Clarence can come back to life

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: nice to see a fan but he will be back in the year 25,0000 isn't it like year 18,1904

rick; is that because 25 is his favorite number and the age year lord Clarence realized love

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: correct ....

luand started to write the details of the ghost as her foot was on the bamboo paper; she write she ghost had claws and holy life deer antlers the ghost was an animal a wolf, deer, rabbit & bear was combined into one creation luand remember Clarence writings saying he would use these animals to what he called wipe the tears of his fears, as she finished up a doodle to go along with the write to put it in her pocket grab the bamboo paper back in her hand and listened to what the nature ghost was saying

bob: you and the dragon will bring order to the order of Clarence things have gone wrong the courts only hold onto what he actually did. as my lord i know he did more then what the order has for the people of today's world

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: yes Clarence warned me about this time all i can say i was sleep and now look at people are their clan of peoples emends of the order of Clarence

luand: no

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: okay so you can rest away knowing that i will not call the dragon. plus a horse is supposed to call the dragon @ important era as in when order will ask me to walk to the palace as i walk to the palace of the pope every step from me the nature ghost will bring back the beast Clarence not the toon Clarence of the 20th cenenetry the beast Clarence which will be able to pet all animals since 20th century Clarence was busy with toons.

rick: may we take pictures

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: technology puts ghosts to sleep but okay try it

rick: i cant see you

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: its a trip huh like that Pokemon go game in the 20 centerty Clarence use to play i believe it would be fearful to watch me in real life but cant see me thru the phone

rick: not really

candy: yeah me make believe technology blinded us for ghost & creations like you

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: Mmmm not really you Fe-wo and e-mph have the phone it actually give us some leg room

luand: what do we do know

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: i don't know i can turn into a person and be a guru for y'all 4

bob: isn't this place sarket tho

fonzie fonsie nature ghost: no y'all i have use the first summed of Clarence low key which equals me being free and Clarence dair once people work on him i can find a job

rick,luand,bob,candy: A PERSON

fonsie fonzie nature ghost: yeah i’m Jesus. i was only here to protect my dragon to never be used again. you working on Clarence showed me Clarence was a valid value to knowledge so i am putting our dragon in the universe as the order of Clarence desire

rick: so we did something luand: what did we just do

Jesus: yeah yes the dragon i will call soon so she may go to the univrse has been on earth; guarded by my moon creation never to leave the earth till order was right (perfect, beautiful, etc) the creation looks like if you watch Dragon ball Z the moon creation looks like freezea and cell combine together since Clarence loved super saytain 2 goku and goku used super saytian 2 to fight both of them so made common sense to the era of the toon world he was living in. the dragon is a mere dinosaur that has venom n and uses nitrogen to breathe fire the dragon has lived in Asia no one run away that's why and basically the dragon calls it a land of home zoo so protection protection protection protection. OKAY so now .......... OI

the earth shake the quake of the clouds on the ground to the water in the sky rumble with uncontrolled the sheer zoom of the flight of the dragon so massive and move super fast Jesus had to use gravity so the Kool Krust Klan wouldn't roll away. one tooth was as big as the 9 foot Jesus. the 4 bodies started shake uncontrolled by nature the 4 felt like their were died but were breathing fresh breath of life. Jesus smiled

Jesus: dragon why did you bring the almighty cat

dragon (without moving the jaw): we both desired to control the universe

Jesus: as Clarence wishes let it be

dragon (with the jaw moving): the almighty dog still wont leave clarence's grave

Jesus: in the year 25,000 he will

almighty cat: we shall have lot hwarz in the universe

Jesus: yes Clarence is smart he planned hell to o to the space and heaven to go to the toon also the abyss is a place of study right on top of the core of the earth clarence's map is very smart

almighty cat: Clarence allowed me to rule of pain

Jesus: okay AC cool down

rick: Jesus makes jokes

Jesus: i do not care how you arrange things when i start my check the only thing is you both have to know whom is going to own the stars and whom is going to own the planets

dragon & almighty cat: Sire

as the massive dragon and the almighty cat take off to the universe Jesus creations flashes to Jesus side

luand: woa look at that its what Jesus describe candy: yeah its gray black and white rick: it dose look like the 20th centenary dragon ball z characters cell and freezea combined. bob: totally have to watch 20 century toons

Tail: father Jesus the dragon and i suppose the cat went home to the universe.

Jesus: yes correct

Tail: so now i live at the tree

Jesus: yes i bugsbunny will be around sometimes, it was my perfect plan to have a toon creation guard of clarence's dragon then have that toon live at the same tree as clarence's favorite cartoon bunny Mr. bugsbunny so now Tail and bugsbunny will have freedom from chorus of different realty since tail had to see the moon and bugsbunny had to see me. now toon life shall go back to perfect.

candy: Jesus so i am very shy ....... are we gonna died when you leave or wake up somewhere

Jesus: by choice, the other thing is you 4 will not be able to see each other for the rest of the day and night till tomorrow morning.

bob:

Jesus: yes bob it is a rule so you will die

bob: okay so we all cancel for beers

Jesus: so how bes it candy you first since your shy girl

candy: Jesus called me girl omg omg omg omg omg awww mmmm may i wake up in my bed tomorrow morning.

Jesus; (Taps his finger (since the 4s nature is gone right now)

rick: can i walk away from here starting at the front gate of the school entrance

Jesus: (Snaps his fingers)

luand: may i have me wake up in my shop i am sorry Jesus but with 2 of candy's kit in my shop.

Jesus: of course (claps his hands)

bob: i guess i am the last one i don't know why i am so worried.... we will remember this stuff please Jesus

Jesus: you all have already chosen to remember

bob: okay Jesus can i clean up everything and leave thru the back gate of the school

Jesus: you may (closes his hands)

as they are brainwashed for the rest of the day & night Jesus cleans their fear so when they remember the path of Clarence it will be safe since the dragon nature would have hunted the Fe-wo & e-mph. the water in the sky turned into clouds as the clouds on the ground turned back into grass and as the wind on the tree continues life is still as Jesus goes home to the abyss he pastes by Clarence grave looking at all the people-creations that truly loved him as he touches the door knob to his home he pauses cries yells out "father thru all he had to do trail of court will never be Clarence father he owns ghost and cartoons the love Clarence had will always and forever be my child as i live he live with the core of earth." he opens the door and closes it.

Spartans: Drake yourself has fallen for knowledge and wont wake till year 25,000 & it is year 18,1904

Drake: no scum i am the leader till he wakes then i sleep till year 50,000 then he goes back to sleep till year 75,000 then i go back to sleep till the year 100,000

Spartans: no

drake: i know i must keep Clarence safe as Jesus studies.

drake: go

meanwhile grave of Clarence

Clarence: so when we say brown skin i mean Mexican or Latin mac miller: yeah id figure you would say light skinned for black and give the culture name if you were talking about native American or other brown skin cultures.

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mrsmyranda-blog · 7 years ago

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I'm thankful for my struggles, because without them I never would have stumbled across my strength.

It's October of 2017. This year has arguably felt like one of the longest periods of time I've endured. This year seemed like a constant battle, mostly with myself.

I turned 30 at the end of August; I'm not sure why I was clinging onto my twenties for dear life, but to me it felt like this cliff. A cliff that once you fall off you no longer get to use being "young and naive" as any sort of an excuse, which in reality should happen long before 30. But alas, the day came and went and I only felt slightly different when I emerged on the other side.

I attribute a lot of that lack of a "changed" feeling to the eight months that had proceeded it. 2017, well really the end of 2016, but very near to the beggining of 2017, when I was finally brought me face to face with my internal demon I had lived with for so long. It exposed it to those closest to me, who had in actuality known about this demon since the beginning, but my denying its existence was its most powerful grasp on my life.

I had long denied the control my eating disorder had on my life. If fact, in my reality, I controlled it. It gave me the ability to take a piece of my life and tie it into an uncomplicated little bow, while the rest of my world often appeared as fraying strings. I thought I could hide it behind my physical stomach problems that I suffered from. It gave me an easy way to explain away the thinness, the constant shrinking frame.

I always had an escape route from my anorexia when I entered into my "adult" life. Babies. Pregnancy was my get out of jail free card. When I was responsible for someone else's well being inside my body, I had the strength to tell my eating disorder "no". To nourish my baby, and in turn my own body. After those 9 months I'd have this sweet new baby that needed all of my attention and love, a continued distraction from it. But eventually, it always began to surface again. Quietly sneaking back into my life, the desire to eat healthier as a family, to shed the last few baby pounds, to use the gym as a time for myself. All those events led me right back down into the rabbit hole, and without realizing it was happening I'd soon be so engulfed in the fire again that I didn't even know I was burning. I had returned to what felt like my safe place. Returned to the control I so dearly craved.

Now I have these four, beautiful, often smelly minions. And I know I will have no more. That's where I ended up in late 2016. I was deep into the depths of my eating disorder, and I knew I didn't have my usual escape route planned. The physical effects were debilitating. But, as far fetched as it seemed- I still denied its existence. I was exhausted because I had 4 children who only sleep in shifts, I was depressed because it's winter in SD and that's what happens, I was struggling to walk up flights up stairs because I was so out of shape. I was receiving IV Irom infusions weekly because I wasn't a big meat eater. I was having heart palpitations from anxiety and stress of the holidays.

It wasn't until a random Sunday afternoon folding laundry that it suddenly hit me, I needed help. I needed someone to pull me out of the rabbit hole or I'd soon be stuck down there forever. My mom was at my house within minutes of my desperate call. As I sat on my bed crying about how overwhelmed I was feelings and how anxious and sad I was everyday, she looked at me and said, "Myranda, are you ready to admit you have an eating disorder?"

Whoa. How did she know that? It was my secret, no one knew I still struggled with this demon 17 years after my first diagnosis at the age of 12. Everyone was supposed to think I had healed and that it no longer impacted my life daily, hourly, every second of the day. What I found out that day was my secret was only a secret between my and my eating disorder. My gaunt frame had been telling another story for years.

Admitting that day that my anorexia was not only a part of my life currently, but had been a part of my life for the last 12 years was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Anorexia thrives in the darkness of people not knowing. That's a big reason I've finally decided to share it with everyone in my life - because when you're open about your struggles it keeps you accountable and gives you reasons to keep fighting when everything in you tells you to run back to what's easiest, what feels the most comfortable.

I visited several eating disorder treatment facilities over the next month. Each time I went, telling my story was excruciating. Exposing my secret behaviors, the high of feeling hungry, the power that made me feel, felt like admitting to being an addict. And it took me awhile to come to the realization, that eating disorders are on the same spectrum of addiction. The high someone feels from a drug is the same high I felt every day I stepped on the scale and the number decreased. The withdrawal effects I felt every time that number went up or when I was forced to eat "normally" In a social setting was miserable. The scale controlled my day. It was how I started my day. And it dictated how the rest of my day, and amount of food consumption went.

I arrived to the month of April, ridiculously sick. I retired to bed immediately after work because I had no energy reserves left over after working. I had come to the breaking point. I was provided with a choice during that time: I could attend a treatment facility near Chicago for approximately 3 months (my doctors advice) or I could try to utilize the resources closer to me and see where I got. But any more weight loss would take the decisoning power out of my hands. The thought of being away from my babies for that long wasn't something I could stomach. Looking back, would it have beneficial for me to go? Yes. Was getting to this point in my recovery in a town with minimal resources easy? Nope. My path may have been slightly easier had I taken that time away, but I didn't. And now I'm here.

It's October. It's been nearly a year since I let my demon out of its shell it hid in. And yet, I still find myself keeping it a secret on most days. Only sharing with those close to me when the oppportunity presented itself. And that allows my eating disorder to still have control, and my path to recovery means every day I need to chose control. I need to be in charge of me.

My journey is far from over. There's bound to be stumbles and falls along the way (I've already had so many in the short time.) but I'm at a place where I'm ready to bring it out of the darkness it thrives in and shine the light in its face. My eating disorder has won many battles, but it won't win this war. I am a stronger person today than I was yesterday and I want nothing more than to show my girls (and boys) that your worth is not determined by the number on a scale. Your worth is determined by the love in your heart. The kindness you extend to others every day. And the love you have for yourself.

Again, I need to be thankful for the struggles I've endured, because without them, I never would have stumbled across my strength.

Here's to the continuation of my journey through recovery.

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reeree1500 · 5 years ago

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His Aphrodisiac...Part 2 Vampire Ivar! x Reader

Disclaimer: Smut 😏(an attempt), spelling and grammar mistakes😬 and my cliched imagination🤣Thank you for all the love and support💕☺️

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @wuxiesalt @supernaturalvikingwhore @readsalot73 @affection-rabbit @blonddnamedhandz @paintballkid711 @ivarthethiccness @limbo-limbo-limbo @funmadnessandbadassvikings

Weeks had gone by after our steamy session in Ivar’s office. I still couldn’t process the fact that he was a vampire. That ancient tale of a monster who sought nothing but blood was true. However, he had proved otherwise. Ivar didn't seem like the type of person to go around sucking people’s blood just because he felt like it. No, he was the type that when I had a problem he would make it disappear. Like Johnathan, my ex-fiancee who wouldn't stop harassing me. As soon as Ivar had found out about him, he never showed up again. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air. Of course I was relieved at the time, but now I cant help but think about if Ivar had anything to do with it...

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it was the night of the annual Lothbrok Corp dinner. Only a select few people from the office were to attend as many of our sister branches would also send their representatives. Not to mind the fact that the founders of Lothbrok corp would all be there as well, with their friends and family. This year the dinner had been set to occur at Ivar’s mansion upstate. This included a secluded area where the next house wouldnt be in sight for miles. Ivar was a man of privacy and now I could understand why. The dinner was to start in an hour and I had yet to finish my makeup. I wasn't really one to amazing at it, but I knew what would compliment my (y/s/t) complexion. As I finish applying my mascara, I take one last look in the mirror before heading out to the kitchen to find my phone and call an Uber. Taking my coat in one hand and juggling my keys, phone and purse in the other. I manage to somehow lock the door, but not before I’m met with a pair of electric blue eyes. “I..Ivar. W...What are you doing here?” I manage to say through my shock.

“You haven't returned any of my calls or messages since that night (y/n). I wouldn't admit this to anyone else, but I was genuinely worried about you.” He trails off as he says the last part whilst avoiding my gaze. “Ive just had a lot on my mind, Ivar. Im sorry.” I say looking anywhere except his eyes, knowing full well the effect they had on me. In a flash Ivar stepped away from the limousine, took my coat and placed it on his arm and grabbed my hand dragging me towards it. “Ivar what are you doing my Uber’s here.” “I gave him 100 bucks and sent it away. You're coming with me.” He whispers the last part close to my ear before shoving me inside the limo. His tone of voice wasn't all the way warm, it had hints of his icy personality in them and made it hard to breathe for me.

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The car ride was awkward and filled with lots of tension. Ivar tried multiple times to start a conversation with me, but I paid him no mind. I sat as far away as possible from him, I could swear that there were times where I thought that I would fall out the door. His hands would “accidentally” (as he said) wander all over my legs, tracing patterns and ever so often trailing even higher. It took everything in me to ignore his advances, and he knew very well the effects his touch had on me. His mere touch created a pool of wetness down there and the bastard knew it. Before his hand could go any further, the view of a great mansion surrounded by nothing but trees caught my eye. “Woah, that's huge.” I said as I looked out the window. “And its all yours (y/n), if you’d just have me.” Ivar says as he turns my head and stares into my (e/c) eyes. Getting lost in his electric blue orbs I lose all sense of why I was upset at him. It’s as if it’s only us two and the whole world disappeared when I look at him. Before either one of us could act upon our feelings once again, we’re interrupted by the driver as he pulls up in front of the house. “Oh for fucks sake! Someone is always interrupting us!” Ivar screams out, startling me a little as his eyes began to glow. His sudden outburst made me want to run away, but also made me feel as if I should have calmed him down. Ivar turns to me and he just stares, no sudden movements or words just a blank stare. In seconds Ivar is out of the car and opening the door for me. If I hadnt known that he was a vampire I could've sworn that it had all been a fix of my imagination and that he truly wasnt there.

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As Ivar led from the limo inside the mansion, I couldnt help but admire the artwork and intricate design of his house. It was something truly unexpected from him. Once inside the ballroom Ivar had disappeared, I guess to greet everyone and say hello to his family. Whom I know he hasn't seen for the longest time. I however, am very overwhelmed and I think it may have to do with the fact that everybody’s eyes are on me. I don't do very well in public scenarios like this one and all the attention is making me a little sick. There was security all over the place and although intimidating I knew that I had to find a washroom as quickly as possible, so I could lock myself in there all night. The bodyguard didn't even speak, he just pointed towards the stairs and went back to acting as if I wasnt there. Shrugging it off I make my way up the stairs only to find a corridor with an exceptional amount of doors. Internally cursing myself I make my way down and knock on every door, but they're all locked. I almost gave up until I saw the double doors on the right. Obviously this couldn't be bathroom, but at this point I didn't care, I just had to find a place to stay till it was time to go.

As I opened the double doors Im greeted by an awfully dark lit room, with intricate black designs. The cravings on the bed posts and the paintings around are those of ancient nordic runes, something that led me to believe that this might have been Ivar’s room. I knew of his great admiration foe his background, he loved anything that had to do with nordic beliefs and ancient gods. Making may way inside Im transfixed by all the artwork and details around me that I fail to acknowledge the presence that lies in the corner of the room. “So, I seem you've made yourself acquainted with my room already, (y/n)” Ivar says as he walks out of the shadows with his crutches? “Oh my God, Ivar are you okay? I literally left you for less than an hour and you've already gone an injured yourself! Wait, I dont mean to sound like a bitch/ignorant or anything, but why do you have crutches? Aren't like vampires supposed to be like physically invincible?” I said all in one breath, as Ivar just cocked his head to the side and stared at me. “You honestly believe everything that the media tells you, dont you?” Point taken, all I knew about vampires were form shows, movies and books that were then turned into movies or shows. “Anyway, before I became a vampire, I was actually a viking. Hence all the nordic runes everywhere and the massive tattoo on my chest and back. My family was very rich and my father Ragnar was king. However, unlike my siblings I was born without function in my legs. Which is why I use those metal braces in the corner over there while I'm in public, and these only around people I trust.” He says moving closer to me. “Now, tell me as to what drew you to come in to my room without me, (Y/n).” Ivar says as he draws my name longer than he has to, in a very sensual tone that makes my knees tremble.

“(y/n), give in. Dont fight it, we were meant to be. You're the reason I can finally feel alive. If it weren't for you, I probably would've kept roaming this world with no sense of purpose. I know you feel this connection. So once again , will you let me take care of you?” And in that moment all senses had been thrown out the window.

Ivar closed the gap with his hot mouth against yours. You gasped as you felt the heat spiral through you, as you ran your fingers through his soft locks. Throwing the crutches to the side Ivar manages to pick you up the hips and deepens the kiss. The sensual dance between your tongue and his is soon over as you cave in to his dominance and let his explore your mouth, slowly with deliberate movements. “Ahhhh...” A moan escapes your lips as his lips move down to your neck. “Since I saw you in that dress earlier tonight, it took everything in me to not act on impulse.” Making his way to the bed, Ivar lays you gently on the back satin sheets and holds himself up as his roam over your body in admiration. Ivar then looks at you for permission as his fingers begin unlacing and unzipping your dress. As Ivar kisses along to every spot that is unveiled to him, goosebumps begin to raise along your skin. You had longed for this moment for awhile, but had denied yourself of the pleasure due to your fear. Oh how stupid could I have been you thought to yourself as you relish in the pleasure that this man brought you every time he kissed and caressed you. “You're so beautiful...” Ivar says as he touches you with reverent fingers, as he begins caressing that part of your body that is not very often explored.

His fingers begin tracing the inside of my hips as his head dips down to my flower. Ivar takes my clit into his mouth and gently bites it, bringing a pleasure that I cannot describe. My hips buck up to him on their own accord asking for more. But he holds me down and brings his face up to mine. His intense gaze had distracted me for a second as his ministrations towards my clit were over. But before I could beg him and ask him for more, it was as fi Ivar had already beat me to it. In a flash he had dipped and curled 2 of his massive fingers into my hole. Pumping them in at an alarmingly fast rate. “I..Ivar, that feels so good!” I manage to say through my moans that are increasingly louder as I throw my head back from all this pleasure. Ivar’s pace becomes steady and his lips are now focused on my right breast, kissing and caressing it as if it were his favourite thing in the world. My hands uncurl form the sheets and move towards his head caressing it and then bringing it up so that I could kiss him. This time I wanted to show him that I too cared for him. And all that fear had been washed away, this man had been everything to me the minute I started working for him and Would be damned if I let him get away. Vampire or not!

Bringing him in for a kiss Ivar tries to take control and dominate again, but this time I would be in control. I manage to shock Ivar with the lack of submission that he’s used to seeing from me. I use this to my advantage and flip us over. Trying to not hurt him in the process. I break apart our kiss and stare deeply into his eyes as our heave breaths begin to entangle with each other and become one. I slowly remove his fingers from my hole, much to his dismay. And before he could protest I place my finger to his lips. “You've shown me how much you care for me. Time and time again Ivar. Let me show you that I care too.” At this his eyes hold admiration, surprise, and hints uncertainty. Making my way down his body, I leave trail of kisses form his chest all the way down to his legs. Taking my time kissing every part of them and staring into his eyes with love and tenderness, which he mirrors in his gaze towards me. I then make my way up to his long and already hard cock. Oozing with loads of precum. Licking the excess I take as much as I can into my mouth as I wrap my hangs around the base his very thick and long shaft. Pumping and bobbing my head I can feel and hear Ivar’s pleasure. His hands wrap around my (h/l)(h/c) hair and his hips thrust forward. I can see that he is reaching his high and before I could make him cum, he pulls out of my mouth. “I’d like to cum inside you, if you'd let me (y/n)” He says as his hands pull my face into a heated kiss.

Climbing on top of him I go to position myself on his member. However, Ivar flips us around so that he is the one on top. I could only look at him in shock for a second before my eyes roll back as I feel him thrust into me with one swift movement. My hands wrap around his torso, and claw at his back from the overwhelming sense of pleasure. Our moans become a melody to my ears, but soon I can feel myself reaching that high. “Ivar.....Im gonna” “I know baby, me too.” And just like that with a few more of his powerful thrusts Ivar and I reach our edge. Ivar and I stare into each others eyes with admiration and love. My hands without thought brush the strands from his hair away from his sweaty face. “Dont leave me ever again (y/n), I mean it. Those weeks that went by were probably the hardest of my life.” He breathes out as he caresses my face and body so gently, as if he were thinking that I would just vanish right there. “I would never think of leaving you again, ever. Im your aphrodisiac after all. What would you do without me?” And without a care in the world we lied in each others arms whilst the party roared downstairs, and the host nowhere to be found.

#vikings #vikings history channel #vikings fanfiction #vikings fandom #vikings ivar #ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #ivar x reader #reader x ivar #one shot #vikings smut #vikings fluff

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reeree1500 · 5 years ago

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The Return-Part 4

Okay y'all here's Part 4. OMG I cannot believe the amount of love that this story has gotten😍 it truly warms my heart, that an idea I had a while ago and have now just started writing has been loved by so many of you:) And with that lets get on to the storyyyy

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @cainismyname @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @wuxiesalt

Disclaimer: My sucky ass writing as always:) Some slight insinuation of incest; Fluff (an attempt anyway); And bad grammar and spelling (sorryyyy); Heart palpitations according to @yanii-the-hippie 😂 Hope you all enjoy☺️

Your POV

My head hurts so much that I feel as if I've just been hit by a carriage. The sounds of arguing around me do not help the situation at all. So I try to not focus on the pain or the voices around me that won't subside and remember what happened. Images of Mira surface in my mind. Her corpse on the floor and the death rune carved into her back. My best friend and most trusted subject was killed because of me. I can't help but wince at the realization that I will never be rid of the death and chaos that I bring everywhere with me.

Fluttering my eyes open, my eyes wander looking for the source of those voices. As I begin to stand up from the very comfortable bed, I scan the room trying to find any trace of the people who were in here earlier. My eyes land on a pile of shirts neatly placed on the table. Walking towards them I come to notice that Im not in my dress anymore, but in what's seems to be a mans shirt. “Nice pair of legs you got there (y/n), wanna trade with me for a while?” At the sound of Ivars voice, I shriek and turn around whilst trying to pull down the shirt that is covering my body. “Ivar what the hell!” At the sound of my screaming Ivar just walks closer to me with a smirk gracing his perfect face. “W..what are you doing?!?!” His hands grasp onto mine and all I can do at that moment is stare back at him with my eyes and mouth open wide in shock. “You're gonna ruin my shirt if you continue to pull it down. Plus, you don't want me to see your breasts now do you?” At that, all the blood from my body rushes to my face. Turning me as red as an apple.

Ivar grabs my face in his hands and his eyes scan over it. “I know we’ve just met. And its probably really wrong for me to feel what I‘m feeling, considering you're my sister. But, when you were unconscious it was probably the hardest thing I have gone through so far in my life. Not knowing if you would wake up was a nightmare that I could not wake up from.” Ivar says with an exasperated sigh. “Ivar....” I begin to say, but am soon interrupted by his lips placed on mine. I know I shouldn't reciprocate his feelings towards me or his kiss for that matter. But, the fact of the matter is that even in this short amount of time, this man has made feel things that I have not felt in my whole life. This man however is my brother and that is something that will not change. Soon the warmth of his soft and plump lips leave mine. Before I can say something about how inappropriate that was, Ivar is already walking towards the door. You know for a cripple he’s fairly fast.

“You know (y/n) I’m so excited for what's in store in our future.” He says as he reaches the door. Rearing his head to where I still stand in utter shock of what just transpired seconds ago. “Especially, since we now share a room.” At that Ivar winks at me and leaves the room, with that smirk on his face. Once the door is closed my legs give out from underneath me. “Lord what have I just gotten myself into. It is wrong for me to have these sort of thoughts and feelings for my brother. Please give me the strength necessary in order to get through this.” As I look up and close my eyes I can only beg that he hears my prayer and somehow gives me the power to get through this. But knowing the almighty, something will happen.

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As the weeks went on by, we had buried Mira the Christian way. Although nearly no one shared my beliefs, it felt nice to be able to have Mira been given the respect she deserved. People had brought flowers and different types of gifts to me in order show me their condolences. On the outside I had to be strong and show them that whoever did this had not gotten to me. However, my family knew all too well the toll it took on me. Especially Ivar, who would hold me at night and whisper sweet nothings into my ear when I had the recurring nightmare of that night. The raid that was supposed to occur after the festival was cancelled. I had expected many people to be upset at the fact that it was. But what I saw was a community come together for someone they did not know. And that is what I missed the most about Kattegat. The people. My people.

Ragnar, Bjorn, and Ubbe had decided to lead an investigation into who had murdered Mira. So far they had gotten a couple of leads, but nothing that would certainly pinpoint who the culprit was. In his worry my father had decided to teach me how to fight, so that I would be able to defend myself if it came down to it. He knew that this was a personal attack on me. And a personal attack on a son or daughter of Ragnar Lothbrok was an attack on him too. “Come on my beautiful sister, we have some more training to do.” I can hear Hvitserk say as he comes up from behind me. “Is that really necessary Hvitty? We trained yesterday!” On the weeks that went by I could say that Hvitty and I got really close. Closer than probably me and Ivar are. After the kiss with Ivar, I had tried to put as much distance between myself and him. What we had done was wrong and a sin. And I could not allow myself to give in to such temptations.

However, that doesn't mean that Ivar still didn’t try to get closer to me. Every chance he got I var would hold my hand or hug me from behind. I knew that people where beginning to get the wrong idea, as I had caught Margrethe talking about how “close” we were for siblings. As soon as I heard that I began to make sure to only talk or look at Ivar if necessary. Waking me up from my thoughts Hvitserk takes my hand and leads me out of the hall. “Im coming. Im coming. Calm down!” I cannot help but contain my laugh at Hvitserk’s desire to want to train with me. Its probably the cutest thing I have ever seen. “You look like a child anxious to play with a brand new toy, Hvitty.” At that Hvitserk lets out a chuckle. “Only of you're the brand new toy and I get to play with you everyday.” he winks at me as he says this. “Come on you're distracting me, let’s get to work. Legs shoulder width apart and make sure you have good balance...”

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Bjorn POV

“We must have gotten somewhere by now! I want whoever is responsible dead!” my father screams at Ubbe and I. “Father, we've searched through and through, but there are no certain leads! Its a he said she said situation thus far!” Ubbe yells back at him. “Do not tell me what I already know, boy! I just cannot help but feel useless and like I am not able to protect my own. We all know that that was supposed to be your sister dead, not that poor girl.” at that he trails off. My father has lost way too much over the years. Many friends have come and gone. But the way we buried Mira, could only remind him of his best friend Athelstan. The Christian priest that changed his life (and mine believe it or not) for the better. He was murdered too, and that has always been a constant reminder to him of someone he could not save.

“What I think that we should be doing instead of arguing is perhaps, finding someone who is good at unmasking people. Since none of us can seem to find who it could be.” I tell them both, getting tired of their back and forth arguing. “And who would you suggest Bjorn. No one can know that (y/n) is here, besides the people of Kattegat. Our enemies will know how to get us. Hell one of them probably was behind this!” my father reciprocates. “I think we all know who I’m talking about. Im just wondering if you'll be able to reel in and control that bitch of yours, when she gets here. Since I’ve already sent word to her.” I bark back at my father. I don't know if its because im sick of him treating me as if ill never be good enough. Or because (y/n)’s life is on the line, but I had never found the courage to stand up to my father, until now. At my words my father becomes silent. It might the loads of ale Ive had today, but I swear that I can see what seems to be pride in his eyes. “How long?” “One day’s ride” It is then that my father shouts to the thralls...

“Prepare the great Hall! The Queen is coming home!”

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Your POV

As the hours went by and my training had somewhat gotten better, I pleaded with Hvitserk to do something else. “Okay!Okay! We’ll stop training! But what else do you want to do?” Hvitserk's says shielding his sword. “I don't know, back in Frankia Uncle Rollo used to take me to the lake and taught me how to swim. Is there a lake nearby?” At that Hvitserk looks at me like I‘ve grown horns and a huge smile breaks out. “Come on, let’s eat quickly and then I have somewhere I wanna take you!” Rushing towards me Hvitserk grabs my hand and we quickly run off towards the great hall. Once we both quickly swallow our food, we head to the stables. There we find non other than Ivar in what seems to be him being pleasured by a thrall.

“Oh, Im so sorry. We didn't mean to intrude.” I say whilst quickly turning around. “Awww you're so cute (y/n), you’ve never seen or been pleasured before?!?!? Is that why you're as red as a tomato right now?” Hvitserk chuckles at me while trying to pry my hands away from my face. “Shut upppp!! Hvitty, get the horse and lets goooo!!” I chuckle nervously at him. “Its ok (y/n), you should take notes from Margrethe here. Who knows you might have to use them some day.” Ivar manages to say through his... compromising position. “Well Ivar, (y/n) and I are gonna go on a little adventure. Don't wait up...” At that Hvitserk grabs the reins on the horse and passes them on to me. “You know how to ride (y/n)?.” “Of course, Hvitty. Its literally my favourite thing to do.” “I’m glad to hear that. Now lets go!” And with that Hvitserk and I were off to God knows where. But one thing I knew for sure was that if Hvitserk was involved, we were sure to have a good time.

Bjorn POV

Soon the day had gone by and it was just a matter of time before my mother was here. You could hear a pin drop in the great hall. The anxiousness that lingered in the air was so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife. My father could not stop bouncing his leg, some thing he did when he too was nervous or didn't know the outcome of certain events. My head quickly towards the doors when I heard the neighing and hooves of the horses. At that we all stood up and thats when both Ubbe and I noticed we were missing certain people. “Ivar, where's (y/n) and Hvitserk? They're supposed to be here or did you not tell them that we would have company tonight?” I whisper at him trying to not get noticed by father or Aslaug. “Probably fucking somewhere. You know they've gotten pretty close these past few weeks I wouldn't put it past them.” At that I just look at him shocked. “Are you sure it’s just him Ivar? Don't act like I haven’t caught you staring at our sister when she's taking bath or when she's walking around the market.” Sigurd chimes in. “Whatever we will resume this conversation after this. But send someone to get those two here. NOW!”

When I turn back I am able to see my father already walking towards the door with the family behind him. Making my way outside I catch a glimpse of my mother on horseback. The most beautiful woman to grace the earth and the most skilled in combat. She taught me everything I know and for that I could never thank her enough. Behind me came up my wife Torvi, I smile down at her and hold her hand. She knows that I will do anything for my family, especially my mother and sister. And I will protect them at any cost. As my mother gets down from her horse I immediately go towards her and give her a hug. “You know that surprise I told you about in the letter. Well, I have an even better one now.” I say whilst chuckling in her ear. “My son, how many times do I need to tell you that Im not so easily surprised.” She laughs back at me. You don’t know what's in store mother...

After much due catching up with my mother. It’s time to get down to business. Father fills mother in about the fact that there has been a murder the night go the spring festival. My mother begins to ask questions on how we've conducted the investigation, to which Ubbe fills her in. I cant seem to pry my eyes away from the doors. Hoping that my sister and brother walk into the hall safely. It’s been hours and no one has heard or seen of them. “Bjorn, are you okay? You're not really focused on the matter at hand?” Torvi says while placing her hand on my knee. “Yeah...Yeah, Im fine just a little anxious thats all.” At that she leaves it alone. It is then that we hear some jugs fall over and loads of laughter. “Hvitty get upppp. Everyone is gonna knowwww....” I can hear the slurs of my younger sister. “Pfttt.. Like they careeee, were just having some funnnn....” Great these two are drunk of their asses and dropping shit everywhere. It is then that they both enter the hall. (Y/n) is carrying Hvitserk, in what seems to be a futile attempt to act normal. But when her eyes land on the blonde graying hair of our mother she drops Hvitserk and immediately you can see that she sobers up.

“Mama...”

At that my mother stops talking. And her eyes begin to well up with tears. “No. it cannot be. It’s the gods playing tricks on me.” My mother says whilst looking down, refusing to turn around. My father gets up from his chair and kneels beside my mother. “It is true. She is here, come with me. I promise you she will not be taken from you again.” My father’s voice cracks at the end. As I truant where my sister stands I can see the pan and suffering coursing through her body. Her eyes show a small child that was ripped from her safe place and placed in an evil and hungry world, that only wanted to make her suffer. As my mother and father stand up I catch a glimpse of Aslaug and her stone cold face. That is filled with rage and what seems to be a predatory glare towards my sister. Trying to put it to rest and not say anything, I turn towards my parents. My father holds may mother in his arms as to keep her from falling over. “ My baby girl. Tell me that this was not dream that Ive had for the past 6 years and that you're actually here with me.” My mother manages to say through her tears. But,(y/n) is barely able to get anything out through her sobs. All she does is run to where my mother and father stand and embraces them. At that they all fall to the floor in their embrace. Hvitserk is now standing beside me. Watching, with the rest of us the reunion of a mother with her child. In my daze of being focused on my parents and sister reuniting I fail to realize that both Torvi and Aslaug are missing......

Aslaug POV

“She should have been dead!!! What part of kill the insolent bastard child do you not understand!” I scream at Torvi. “You did not tell me that she was the daughter of Ragnar and Lagertha. Much less Bjorn's sister!” I had ordered Torvi to kill (y/n) so that what I had done that night many years ago, would not come back to haunt me or my family. I did this in order to protect them. That insolent child will only bring death with her. The death of our gods. And that is something I will not allow. I had faked to not have known about her existence all that time ago, but I cannot put past me the prophecy that was foretold by the volva. I will do anything in my power to make sure that she gets nowhere near my sons. For I rather die then see an era were Vikings and Christians alike are one people.... “When Helga and Floki get to the dock. Report back to me immediately and tell Floki that he has an unfinished job from 6 years ago.” As I stare at my husband and his so called “family” I cannot help, but get a bad feeling about this.

That Christian child will pay for coming between my family....

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reeree1500 · 5 years ago

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The Return- Part 5

Guys I'm so sorryyyy!😭I HAD MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK😭 It was actually so bad! And then the fact that Tumblr deleted my whole draft and I had to start it over again🙄 Big surprise towards the end btw😂Anyway here's part 5 y'all...

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10

Disclaimer: My sucky writing, Incest, grammar and spelling😅 and just overall the whole thing😂 please don’t kill me🙏🏽😂 @yanii-the-hippie is already trying to😂

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @youbloodymadgenius @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @cainismyname @readsalot73 @wuxiesalt @camatsuru @amy8220 @cutegyrl927 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @ragnarssonsbitch @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms

Flashback to 6 years ago...

“RUN! (Y/N)! RUN!” Helga screamed...

On that fateful night you had been awakened from your slumber by one very worried Helga. She was the wife of the scary looking man Floki. And you could never come to understand how such a cheerful and radiant person, could be with someone so dark and mean. Helga had come in to the homestead whilst everyone was asleep. She had overheard her husband and Aslaug talk about getting rid of the christian child of Ragnar Lothbrok. She knew about (y/n), but she never thought that an innocent child would have to pay for the sins committed by those around her.

As Helga made her way silently across the home trying to find the child, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She was betraying her husband and the Queen at that. But she couldn't get over the fact that an innocent child would be murdered. When she sees (y/n)’s and Bjorn’s bodies cuddle up on the bed, she softly approaches the little girls’ side. Tapping her on the shoulder she manages to wake (y/n) up. Startled you go try tp scream and thats when she places her delicate finger over your lips. Signalling you to be quiet. “Follow me, you and your family are in grave danger.” The feeling of wanting to protect your family from anything consumed you. Even being 13 years old you understood that family came first and that you would gladly lay down your life to save theirs. With that, you untangled yourself form Bjorn’s embrace and gave him a small peck on his forehead, then you made your way to your parent’s room. You peeked inside to make sure they were asleep and then tip toeing to where they lay in an embrace you softly kissed both of them goodbye.

You knew that this may very well be the last time you ever saw your parents. But, you could tell through the look in Helga’s eyes that whatever she was talking about your family being in danger was in fact the truth. Helga helped you gather some of your things quickly and as you rushed to the door, you almost forgot your teddy. “Wait, I need to grab my teddy. I cant leave without it, its the only thing I’ll have left of them.” You silently whisper towards Helga as she stands watch by the door. “Ok, but you must hurry. They'll be here any second now. And if they find you, I can assure you that no one will survive.” At that you scurry back towards your room. In there you find a sleepy headed Bjorn almost waking up. “(y/n), what are you doing? Come back to bed, you know we’re gonna start your training tomorrow morning.” He yawns out. “Sorry, I'm just really thirsty. Ill get a glass of water and come back ok?” you murmur to him. Bjorn just nods whilst yawning and goes back to sleep. But before you close the door and disappear you can hear him murmur the words I love you...

Your POV

After the moment that we shared in the Great Hall as a family happened. Mother, father, Bjorn and I had gone down to the lake by the old homestead we once lived in. There we all lied down on the grass and I had caught them all up on what had transpired on that night 6 years ago. “So let me clear this up, Helga...as in Floki’s wife. Broke into our home and kidnapped you and then sent you away on a boat to Frankia...” said Lagertha trying to wrap her head around the subject. “Well, mother I wouldn't really put it like that, but technically yes. She kidnapped me in order to save me and yourselves. Or so she claimed. She didn't really get into details on who was after me. She just told me that my life was in danger and I finally believed her when we were being chased by a group of mercenaries.” I respond to her. In that we all fall into silence. Over looking the lake I can tell that my family is processing all this information. Not only because of how quiet they are at the moment, but because I can feel their eyes on me. As if they believe that I shall vanish right in front of them.

“I missed this... Having my family together, overlooking the lake and just the serene and calming effect that this place has on us.” My father breaks the silence as he looks out towards the lake. He runs his fingers through my mother’s hair. And I cannot help but think about how come they never told me. “Soooo... since we’re all together finally. Can someone tell me how in the name of God and all that is good. No one ever told me about Aslaug and her sons?” With that my father’s fingers come to a stop at the ends of my mother’s long golden locks. “It just went something you tell your child out of the blue, (y/n).” My mother responds for my father. They always did this. Even as a child, when one of them was being questioned. The other would jump in and save them as if the question was directed at them. “But why keep it a secret? I don't understand, if you were married to Aslaug and Ivar and I are the same age that means that you laid with mother during the time you were married to her. Meaning that I have no claim to anything. Im a bastard.” At this my father lifts my mothers head from his lap and turns to me. Rage and sadness is what I am able to detect from his electric blue eyes.

“You are not a bastard child! I will not have you slander my name or your mothers with such lies. Your mother and I are married, in the eyes of both the Christian God and Freyja and Odin. Yes, your mother left me when Aslaug became pregnant with Ubbe. And many years later she came back to me, however I could not let her go. Be it selfishness or pride, she was mine and I am hers. Till death do us part!” At that tears well up in my eyes. Not because Ive just been scolded by my father. But, because this is the first time that I could really say that he has shown me his emotions. The night where we reunited, was only a small glance of emotion. But, this moment here had probably been the closest thing to a heart to heart that I have ever had with my father. He wipes my tears away and then goes to face Lagertha who had also been tearing up through this revelation. And they share a small, but passionate kiss.

I do not know if its just the overwhelming emotion that I’m processing, but I cannot help but bring my finger to my lips and think of a certain ill tempered boy...

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As the hours went by, we had decided to not only renovate and clean up the homestead. But we relieved some of the old memories we had. Bjorn and I decided to get in the water and go for a swim. Whilst Lagertha and Ragnar stayed in the house “cleaning up”. Bjorn and I knew exactly what that meant. As I laugh thinking about the situation that my parents are in. Bjorn sneaks up behind me and dunks my head into the water. I try my hardest to push him away and try to get rid of his hold on my head. My lungs need a break and as I almost felt my self drifting away, Bjorn pulls me back up. Gasping for air and coughing out the water from inside. I turn around and hit Bjorn’s chest as hard as I could muster at the moment. “Bjorn! What the hell!! you could've killed me!” I yell at him through my punches. “Ow..ow.. OW!!!. I was just joking... Jeez woman lose up!” He responds trying to shield himself form my hits. “Well it wasn't funny...”

As I swim towards the shore and go to collect my clothes, Bjorn turns me around and looks into my eyes. “We need to talk. And it’s not something that you are not getting yourself out of.” At this I can only gulp. Did he find out about Ivar and I? Is it possible that Hvitserk told him? No..no, Hvitty wouldn't do that. But then again he’s know the boys his whole life. I have just met them. “What about, big brother?” “Sigurd told me something when we had been waiting for mother’s arrival. And you could say I‘m a little concerned, and I just want to get to the bottom of it.” He says while eyeing me carefully. At that moment before I could respond the sound of the horses hooves could be heard form down the road. Bjorn and I quickly exchange looks and begin to dress immediately. We run towards the homestead and burst through the doors. It seems as whatever mother and father had been up to had just finished.

Seeing our exasperated sighing and how flustered I must have looked father reaches for his sword. “Why are you both so out of breath?” Mother asks wrapping the quilt around herself. “We heard horses down the road. We didn't know if they were friend or foe. And Bjorn didn't have any of his weapons with him.” I manage to get out. At this both father and Bjorn make their way towards the door. Peeking out the one of the small holes Bjorn is able to make out who it was standing outside. “Its the guards accompanied by Ubbe, Hvitserk and Ivar.” Something told me that this would be quite eventful...

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Ivar POV

The moment (y/n) and her mother reunited in the great hall brought a tear to everyones eye. I admit that maybe I got a little emotional as well, but no one would ever know that. However, I noticed that my beautiful mother had left the room with rage and tear filled eyes. I had never seen my mother go through so many emotions in one day. She went from having a good blessed morning to having a shit hole day with that whore Lagertha coming back. I mean she gave birth to my beautiful (y/n), but still. Every time I see her I cannot help, but want to choke her to death fro all the pain she caused my mother.

Shaking me from my thoughts Ubbe starts going off on Hvitserk. “How could you be so stupid! (Y/n) has a target on her back and you decided to go off into the woods alone without anyone else?!?!?!” In this sense Ubbe was right, Hvitserk put (y/n)’s life in danger all because he wanted to take her from me. It wasn't enough for these people that I am a cripple. But they want to take the woman that the gods sent to me! This is unacceptable and I will not allow it. “Ubbe is right. She could have been killed because of your insolence Hvitty!” I scream at him. My blood had been boiling at this point. “Oh shut up Ivar! We all know that if she would have asked you to go with her, you would have done the same. If not take her some place remote where she could not leave your crippled ass!” Hvitserk barks back at me.

All this time Sigurd is sitting by the fire pit whilst tuning his lyre. “You both should just accept the fact that you're in love with your own sister. And that it will never go anywhere. Besides I overheard father speaking in his chambers the other day with Bjorn. They're looking for suitors to marry her off to. That way she will be hopefully safe from whoever is hunting her.” Sigurd says as calm as one could ever be. At this my mouth hangs open and Hvitserk and I exchange glances. “N..No... That cannot be. Father would never marry (y/n) off to someone she doesn't know. And the fact that he just got her back should keep him form doing so as well.” Hvitserk struggles to say. Im still trying to process the fact that my purpose to live will be taken from me once again. This I cannot allow...

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“Ivar you’re sure that this is the right way?” Hvitserk asks me for the hundredth time. This time instead of answering I just keep going. This man-child will not drive me insane today. Not when the task at hand is so dire. Making our way through the woods and down the path, I spot my father’s horse as well as 3 other ones. Urging my horses to go faster I catch a glimpse of (y/n) runnings towards the homestead whilst trying to slip her dress back on. The way that the drops fell from her hair and onto her chest and then down the valley of her breasts made me come to a halt. Before I knew it the guards and Ubbe had all passed me and there I was still sitting in my carriage on the same spot. Once she was out of my sight, I got it together and got to the house. There we were greeted by father and Bjorn. “Ubbe. what brings you all down here?” my father asks. “We wished to know what we should do about the investigation. You all just took off without alerting anyone.” At that Lagertha steps out of the homestead clearly in a disheveled dress. From that we can guess what her and father were up to before we could get here.

“Actually Ubbe... Your father and I have come to terms that (y/n) shall be trained by me. This way I can properly teach her how to use her strengths and weaknesses to her advantage. Something you boys will not be able to teach her.” At the mention of this (y/n)’s eyes widened in surprise. “Well... Mother (y/n) isn't really one to train, if Im honest with you. Poor girl is was never taught how to properly defend herself. And through all the training that we've put her through, its not much of an improvement...” Bjorn says, but then trails off due to (y/n) punching him in the gut. I can tell you that I have never been as in love with someone as I am with my own sister. Which is ridiculous to many, but the truth...

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Your POV

Weeks from the time that my mother arrived had gone by. My training started immediately after the conversation that we all had at the porch. Ubbe and the boys had finally gotten somewhere with the investigation with the help of Lagertha. They had found the murder weapon, a small dagger with intricate designs. Bjorn had taken it to get a closer look, but from what I had seen in his eyes I could tell that he knew who was behind this. As I think of who could have been behind the murder of my best friend, the wind is knocked out of me. “(Y/N)! Concentrate! Never take your eyes off your opponent! Thats the number one rule on the battlefield!” My mother yells at me from above. Extending her hand out towards me I grasp on to it and she pulls me up from the ground. Dusting myself off I mumble an I’m sorry to her and that I will concentrate next time. “When facing a real opponent child you will not have the luxury to be better again. Its do or die!” She holds onto my shoulders as she looks into my eyes and then leans her forehead against mine. “I want you to be able to defend yourself. It might come a time where neither your father or I. Bjorn and your brothers will be there to protect you. And I need to be able to sleep at night with the thought that my child will not be taken from me again by some imbecile...”

My mother and I exchange a final glance before she heads off towards the great hall in what I think is an attempt to find my father. My father and Bjorn have been very secretive lately. Every time I walk into a room I can tell that the conversations they were having were about me before I got there. And it was very much getting on my nerves. Picking up the bow that Ivar had made for me I start to aim at the dummy target. But before I knew it something startles me and I let go of the arrow without knowing where it would hit. “AHHHHH, are you trying to kill me woman?!??!”

“Ivar, Oh my God I’m so sorry. You startled me.” I say whilst rushing towards him. “I see that you've taken a liking to the bow I crafted for you...” blushing from his words I simply nod my head and stare at the ground. “(y/n). I wanna have a serious conversation with you. But it must be done in private.” He whispers the last part to me. I rear my head towards him and proceed to grab his hand. Ivar takes it upon himself though to lace our fingers together and walk together to "our” chambers. Passing by the market, I notice the looks that people have been given us and the not so quiet whispers. Embarrassed and not wanting to drag attention to myself anymore than I already have. I attempt to let go of Ivar’s hand, but he will have none of it. He jut grips my hand harder and walks a little faster towards the cabin.

Once inside Ivar walks towards the bed and starts taking off his braces. “Close the door please. I would like this to be a private conversation between you and I. For the time being.” Doing as told, I close the door behind me and make my way towards him. Ivar is struggling to get one of his braces off, so without thinking I kneel before him and push his hands away to try and help him out. At this action Ivar looks at me with shock and a hint of adoration. Over the last 3 months that I have been here. I observed Ivar take his braces off before bed. Something about them fascinated me and I couldn't pinpoint what it was. Picking myself up from the floor I go to sit beside him on the bed in one swift movement Ivar pushes me back on the bed and gets on top of me.

Before I could scream his lips touch mine. Unlike the times before I find myself reciprocating the kiss. Our lips begin to move in sync with each other. He traced his tongue on my bottom lip asking for entrance which I denied. At this he got frustrated and slapped my ass. As I opened my mouth to yell at him for hitting me, he took this as a chance to slip his tongue in my mouth. There was no fight for dominance as he overtook the situation. My fingers tangle in his hair trying to pull him closer to me. His hands caress my sides and then cup my breasts. In this I cant help, but let out a moan. Ivar pulls back and stares at me while bringing his hand up to brush my hair outta my face. “I would really love to continue this, but there's something I have to tell you (y/n).” He untangles himself from my grasp and brings my hand to his lips. Placing small kisses on the back of my hand he closes his eyes and then reluctantly gets up. As I lay on the bed, I can only think of what we were up to seconds ago. What would have happened if we didn't stop. Pulling me into his lap and out of my thoughts Ivar grabs my face in his hands.

“Before you got here I was a scared and lonely boy. With no notion of what love was or could have been. To think that the gods made you especially for me and brought you to me at the most opportune time is a sign from Odin himself. (Y/n) I will not let them take you away from me. Not now or ever...” Ivar closes the gap between us with a small and tender kiss. “Ivar... it’s wrong. How we feel about one another isn't right...” my eyes well up with tears. What cruel joke is this that God is playing. Why? How come the man that I love is my brother... Brushing my tears away, I could tell that Ivar is having the same predicament. “Father plans to marry you off... That is what I wanted to talk to you about.” His eyes do not meet mine this time. “Wait...no it cant be. Father would never do that. he always said that I would be free to marry whomever I pleased and fell in love with...” Nothing the change in my breathing Ivar hugs me and rubs my back. “I will not let them. You will not be sold like cattle just because they cant find the killer and are afraid.”

“This is why I want you to runaway with me. Will you (y/n)...”

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Bjorn POV

I cannot control the anger boiling inside me. How could she do this... Storming off from the meeting I went straight to my cabin. There she greeted me as if nothing was wrong. “Love I made some...” Throwing the bowl of soup from her hands I pushed her back onto a chair. “Bjorn what's wrong with yo...” “What wrong with me?!?!?! How about what's wrong with you? You killed Mira! You tried to kill my sister!” At this point all I see is red. I cant even describe how I felt when I saw that the murder weapon was Torvi’s dagger. And to think I was gonna tell her the truth and let her in on the reason as to why she could be wanted dead. “Bjorn.. please! It was not like I wanted to do it! Aslaug forced me too. She had said that you were in danger! Please Bjorn you have to believe me! I did it for our family!” Shaking my head at her I turn around and head towards the door. “Get your stuff, I don't want you here when I come back. I will tell my father everything that you and Aslaug have been planning. And for the sake of what we once had I will give you this heads up so you can leave. And do not come back!” Slamming the door of the cabin I head towards the great hall and begin t think to myself about the first time I laid eye son my sister....

19 years ago...

“Bjorn... come meet her.” I didn't want anything associated with that child. The fact that I had already lost a sister and that my parents had now taken in a child that wasn't theirs baffled me. “She's not my sister. She the child of a christian priest...” At that my mother looks at me with sadness in her eyes. “Bjorn I know that you still hurt over Gyda and the fact that she didn't survive and you did. This child however is your sister. No matter how she came into this world, the gods have given us a second chance. Please come and meet her, for my sake?” At that I go towards my mother and get a closer look at the child. Her features resembled that somewhat of my father’s. Not much, but enough to be able to pass as the child of my father and mother. “What about Athelstan? Is he okay with you taking his child?” I ask my mother. At that my father walks in and kneels before me. “You must protect her with your life Bjorn. From this day onward she will be yours to take care off. She is your sister and no one must know that in fact she is Athelstan’s daughter or she and all of us will be in danger.” At that I understood why my parents had done it. Taken a child that wasn't theirs in order to protect it. Although I didn't want her, I cant help but feel a strong sense of protection over her. As if my sole task in this world is to protect her... “Bjorn...she doesn't have a name yet. Would you like to name her?” My mother asks whilst placing the child in my arms. The baby opens her eyes and looks up at me. Her beautiful eyes open up to reveal those (y/e/c) orbs. She cracks a smile at me and at that I cant help, but laugh. “(Y/n)...her name will be (y/n).”

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