#brostriderGHB

[othercat2]

WIP snips!

(they flow from form to form)

“So, you kids made up?”

“Yeah,” Karkat says, just as quietly. “Terezi, c’mon, wake up.”  

“No one tells a dragon to awaken,” Terezi says, voice muffled as she snuggles. “‘S Saturday anyway.”

“You’re not a dragon and it’s Tuesday, c’mon. There’s pancakes and bacon.”

Terezi stirs, and finally lets him go. “Good, bring me some,” she says, and rolls over.

“Haha, no,” Karkat says.

Build a Life from Scratch

“Disciple?” one of the Demonesses leaning against Highblood asks.

“Dirtblood heretic of a false--” Highblood mutters, glaring at you, for lack of anyone else to glare at. The Demoness in his lap reaches up and smacks his cheek Her hand lingers, stroking where she smacked him.

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooosh,” she says, a humming vibration that manages to somehow send shivers down your spine.

“Stop that,” Highblood mutters.

“No,” the Demoness in his lap says. “Rub my neck.”

“I’mma break your neck,” Highblood says, but does what he’s told.

“Disciple?” The Demoness prompts, pouring another drink. This one she hands off to you.

“Catskin’s in one piece, and decided to leave me in peace instead of pieces,” you say, and take the cup. The contents are definitely alcoholic with notes of honey. You take a sip.

“Mead,” Demoness says.  

“Don’t drink it, shit’ll make you crazy,” Highblood says.

“It’s not mind honey,” Demoness says back. “Just honey.”

jam fic I wasn’t able to sufficiently make grotty or nsfw enough, tentatively titled (glaciers melting in the dead of night)

Posting the whole thing since it’s super rough

(Warning for mild dub con, body horror and some really gross biotech + depression/suicidal ideation +HIC being kind of Captain Bad Touch.)

So, disintegrating "I failed" Dirk from Game Over doesn't die or actually disintegrate, that would be too easy. Instead he gets pulled between multiverses and goes through a hole punched into reality by the Psiioniic who is going through a "rough patch" of space. (Because weird shit and I half stole this concept from roachpatrol.)

So he's in real, actual space and you cannot actually breath in real actual space even if you're a god. Dirk might have ended up a seagull slamming into the ports of HIC's flagship but HIC is curious enough she has Psiioniic pull him on board before he can like, die.

This particular iteration of HIC is curious about the strange creature that appeared and has him sent to the infirmary so they can figure out this new alien psiioniic. Dirk is unconscious and doesn't have much say in the situation. When he wakes up he still doesn't have much say in the situation, but it too depressed to care or even pull out the various tubes and IV-equivalents.

In a bid to commit suicide.

After a week of Dirk being semi-catatonic, HIC decides to check on Dirk herself.

This...doesn't go well. Dirk rouses out of his stupor and promptly attacks HIC. HIC defends herself, but does not actually want to kill her new pet so she has Psiioniic restrain him. Dirk tries to pull the soul stealing thing, and gets his ass knocked out and then drugged.

HIC is advised to put the psiioniic down, it's obviously some kind of assassin/trick/what have you. HIC does not agree. She also makes a habit of repurposing weapons used against her. As you do.

She has Dirk moved to her quarters, which actually take up a sizable chunk of the ships space. She takes care of him more or less by herself, with some assistance from Psii. Dirk is either non-responsive or tries to attack her, and she doesn't know why because she a) does not speak English b) Dirk doesn't do a lot of talking while he's attacking.

So, Operation Strange Alien Taming begins.

So, Dirk has been pretty much hunger striking since he woke up. He is not aware at first this is a different reality/universe's HIC, though the fact that this universe has trolls should have clued him in. He can understand what she's saying ("sugar grub, you don't want to have that tube worm made permanent do you? C'mon sprat, point at the picture and tell me what it is...") But she can't understand him, so he has that.

So he has a food tube and something like an IV for hydration.  There is also a catheter involved. He has made a few attempts to remove one or the other of the tubes, which are literally some variety of bioengineered worms because why not include some body horror.  Dirk basically ends up restrained because he keeps trying to pull them. Imagine a big gel filled bean bag chair that's too big to be moved or shifted and is possibly also alive. The restraints are bright fuchsia straps over his legs, arms and chest and hips.  The gell filled possibly also alive bean bag shifts and moves every so often, so he doesn't get bedsores or something.

HIC does not get bored or very annoyed in the face of Dirk's obstinance. She's very interested in the way he pretty much seems to understand her, and even recognize her. (In a weirdly personal way. Like she was something personal to him, part of a revenge cycle or something, which pointed in the direction of him being and assassin of some kind, but there's no species matching his description in the databanks yet, so what the hell?)

Dirk is kind of confused. And also angry. But mostly confused. He would have expected offhand culling or maybe torture, not this weird persistent demi-kindness.

He is also aware that there are other trolls here? He comes up with random theories he could probably solve by asking questions but he doesn't bother asking questions. Because he is also depressed.

He is more depressed than goddamn Shinji and there is no one to tell him to get in the mech.  He is more depressed (but less of an asshole) that Thomas Covenant. He is more depressed that someone walking through the Doldrums.

He thinks he might actually be in a dream bubble somehow.

Dirk talks, eventually. Staying quiet when you have oh, a decade or so brave speeches for when Confronting Fish Hitler At Last is pretty much impossible. And maybe he also wants to push, to figure out what the fuck is actually going on, because he's finally figured out HIC, this HIC doesn't speak English, and is apparently trying to teach him Alternian.

So there's a point where he declares that she won't wear him down with this. He'll defy her to the end in the name of the millions she drowned and tortured and in the name of his ancestor who defied her to his last breath and so on and so forth. It's a really good speech and doesn't sound at all like something he practiced in front of a mirror when he was oh, twelve or so.

HIC listens to  the Brave Speech, spoken in more or less good Alternian and is completely dumbfounded. "Guppy, water you e-fin talking a-boat?" she asks. "I've never met your species or been to your planet." On the other hand, he knows Alternian, and definitely has some kind of beef with her, so she's a little confused, and even more curious.

Dirk...is pretty sure that's genuine confusion in her voice. He's also pretty sure that HIC would have no reason to play at being confused, or like she didn't know who he was. He's pretty sure she doesn't actually know him at all, which makes him think in terms of  again, dream bubble, and she's dead-dreaming much earlier in her career.

The question is, does he want to remind her she's dead? The answer is: no, probably not. (Dirk also goes on a slight tangent on whether or not he's still alive, and kind of distracts himself and falls silent, pretty much ignoring HIC.)

HIC, who is actually alive, and likely to stay that way trying to think her way through various possibilities. "Maybe it's like that story where there's a time traveler trying to kill some fish before he can make a military mistake or some-fin."

"If so, who ever it was had lousy aim," Psii says.

"Whale, see if any explorers have found a planet with mammalian trolloid lifeforms."

(They haven't.)

What she's going to do once she finds the planet, she's not sure. Maybe keep them from developing time travel technology because she can't really sea that going whale. (Especially if you get dumped out in the middle of space.) Maybe this grub popping up is what directs her to find the planet.

She brings this up with the alien, who gives her the strangest look. He doesn't say anything, and she can tell he doesn't want to. "Whale, how about you introduce yourself, since you're talkin now?" She asks, and pets his hair. The alien turns his face away and doesn't answer. "Rude," HIC says. "I'm--"

"Your Imperious Condescension," Dirk says.

"Whale yeah, boat I like you," HIC says, still petting Dirk's hair. "And you're a pitiful little ship, so you can call me by my hatch name, with is Meenah Peixes, when it's just us."

Dirk starts into his "you won't break me" speech. Meenah is not actually impressed. Amused and a little baffled, maybe, but not impressed. She covers his mouth with one hand, and shooshes him. "You're all ready a broke up wreck, sugar grub, either trying to krill me or yourself, maybe both I don't even fucking know, I'mma more curious about how to put you together."

Dirk starts into his "you won't break me" speech. Meenah is not actually impressed. Amused and a little baffled, maybe, but not impressed. She covers his mouth with one hand, and shooshes him. "You're all ready a broke up wreck, sugar grub, either trying to krill me or yourself, maybe both I don't even fucking know, I'mma more curious about how to put you together."

This is where Dirk gets scared. She has, as far as he can tell, called his bluff. (He did not in fact have a bluff.) He also gets an inkling now that this is not an HIC he knows. This is not Betty Crocker, but she no less dangerous, and he has no fucking clue about what to do. Nothing is going according to script. He just kind of stares up at her.

Meenah can see that he's scared. Which would make sense if he's some kind of rebel of a planet she hasn't found yet, whose gone back in time to defeat her. ("'Tuna, why is my life suddenly a really bad sf movie?" she asks. "It was bound to happen sooner or later, Empress.") "You're already talking to me, sprat, you might has well tell me your name, before I make one up."

Dirk does not want to be called "Fluffy" or the Alternian equivalent. This is a feel that emerges from the bleak gray sea he's been floating in. "Dirk Strider," he says. Meenah pretends a shocked gasp. "The notorious rebel, Dirk Strider who I never even fucking heard of," she says. "What an honor! Except not, because you were mostly a flitterbug on Tuna's windshield."

She tries to get him to talk some more, but Dirk is not a great conversationalist at this point. She eventually heads off to do Empress Things, but leaves Dirk with an entertainment unit and a remote control. ("Tuna see how well he can read the menus and shit." )

Dirk does end up watching movies! Someone of the medical persuasion comes in to check on him. Dirk does not actually try to fight them. He's offered food, which he refuses. Medical person sighs fills up the UV worm, the food tube worm, and cleans up the colostomy bag worm. (Dirk is both grossed out and fascinated by the biotech.)

Meenah works up a steady campaign of bringing food, little snack foods and drinks with her when she visits Dirk. She asks him questions related to the time travel theory she has concerning his presence. (Dirk lies a lot. Meenah is pretty sure he's lying. Sometimes he tells the truth and she's still pretty sure he's lying.)

HIC typically offers food or drink, then tries to get Dirk to talk. Sometimes she can get him to eat. Occasionally Psii comments. "This is weirdly pale Your Imperious Condescension."

"Sometimes a beach is just weirdly pale, 'Tuna," Meenah says. She pets Dirk's hair, which is starting to grow out. She also strokes his cheek, which makes him shiver. "Lying around all day ain't good for you. Want to get up and move around?"

Dirk has not idea what to do about this, or about this weirdly honest sounding question. "If you're going to bribe me into betraying my family, why don't you do it with questionable sugar coated rosewater candies?"

"Wouldn't know where to get that. Want a deep fried water beetle?" Meenah pops one in her mouth and chews. "So, family, you're ancestor who I don't know but apparently cacked and...?"

Dirk talks a little about his Bro, but he's hesitant. Part of him really does think talking about Bro is a betrayal, like he's giving away details. He's pretty sure by now he can't do that, that he's somehow in a completely different universe, but it's still in the back of his head despite jokes about betrayal. "Your ancestor and his--moirail I'd guess--sound like they'd be bitchtits opponents," Meenah says. She finishes off her deepfried water beetle and offers him one. "Haven't found your world yet, but I guess we can find out?"

The idea of HIC going to Earth, invading Earth even an alternate Earth to find out what kind of opponent his Bro was makes Dirk's stomach flip. It cracks whatever reserve he's been able to maintain. (Not much of one.) "Please no," he says, even though he knows on a certain level it should be (hopefully) impossible. Alternia's universe created the Beta universe, after all.

"Sugargrub, from my end, I got attacked first," Meenah points out reasonably. "A beach has to snap back or no one'll respect her." The look of sheer horror on Dirk's face is at once hilarious as fuck and pitiful as all hell. Meenah almost laughs, but it looks like Dirk might throw up, which wouldn't be funny at all. "Aw, sprat, no," she says and goes for the nearest trash receptical.

She almost doesn't catch it in time. Also, the position is pretty awkward given how he's strapped down. The poor grub turns almost gray-white and heaves up a bunch of bile and nutrient solution. "Shoosh, Dirk," she says. "Fuck, you're a wreck, I'm almost sorry for doing that, you don't blink at half the shit I say sprat. Is that actually what happens?"

"No," Dirk gasps, voice hoarse and raw. "No." And in a voice like he doesn't even know that he's saying, it. "I don't want anything else to be my fault.

Meenah spends some time shooshing Dirk though most of what she's doing either only works for trolls or would only work for humans who are not Dirk. She does eventually get him settled down, making no promises of course that she won't conquer his planet if she happens to find it. "I had a little surprise planned for you on the recreation deck, maybe let you exercise some, but you look like carp, so maybe not," she says. "I have something that might calm you down though" She pushes a needle into the UV worm and presses a plunger.

"It's drugs," Dirk says.

"Just something to keep you calm," Meenah says. "We can go another day."

Dirk tries hard not to have his interest piqued. He's not all that successful. He's been watching the entertainment screen, mostly and he's at the point where he'd be wanting to build something, or take it apart and put it back together. "Really?"

"You'd be restrained because I don't trust you not to attack me or run around like an untrained barkbeast, but yeah."

"It's a dog park isn't. You were going to take me to a dog park," Dirk says. Meenah stays with him till he goes to sleep, feeling weirdly hopeful at the prospect of being able to walk around, even if hobbled. It's another couple of days, but Meenah makes good on her offer of an outing. She dresses him in a black uniform with orange trim. He tries to dress himself, but she smacks his hands. she cuffs his hands and ankles, and links them with a chain. The final item is a choke chain collar and a fuchsia leash. She grins like a shark as she puts the collar around his neck. "If you're good, I won't have to hobble you in the future," she says.

"I notice you don't say 'won't put me on a leash'," Dirk says.

"Whale, parading rebels around on leashes is just how it's done."

So, Dirk gets walked. Meenah occasionally stops to talk with courtiers. Courtiers stare at him and delicately question the uniform, which turns out to be a standard dress Threshecutioner uniform. Meenah does not answer questions about the uniform or about why an alien that tried to kill her is wearing a Threshecutioner uniform.

The entertainment deck has restaurants, theaters, gyms, pools and a large parklike area. Meenah walks through the park, eventually finding who she's looking for: Her Chief Threshy. Said Chief Threshy takes one look at Dirk as asks in a pained voice, "Empress, why is an alien assassin wearing a Threshecutioner uniform with tabs for my goddamn flaysquad?"

Dirk stares back and tries not to react. The troll is not especially tall, but he's broad, with short hair that just barely long enough to curl, and short rounded horns. The uniform's trim is bright red, and so are the troll's eyes. He's pretty sure he's seen this troll before.

"I ain't so shore he's an alien assassin Carpkat," Meenah says. "Water you got for me?" She asks.

What he has is a picnic lunch. A cold roast bird, fried beetles, a tray full of rolls of meat and cubes of cheeses and something that might be potato salad if it wasn't blue. There's also bottles of some kind of beverage. "Carpkat" makes a plate for the Empress.

"Are you mute or something, asshole?" the troll asks Dirk.

"He's just shy," Meenah says. "He don't talk much aboat anyfin unless I make him." She pokes Dirk. "Say somefin."

"So, why am I wearing a Threshcutioner uniform?" Dirk asks.