#brooke in my dms: be the change you want to see in the world

[its-short-for-jackalope]

[ INTERIOR: THE SAGITTA ]

Margaret: Traveler, can you bring us back to Earth?

The Traveler, who just created a whole ass jungle paradise on this brick satellite, complete with sunlight and a lake and birds and stuff: Oh. Yes, of course. I can do that, if that's what you want. That's fine. No problem.

Anna: Y'all can go back if you want, this place rocks and I live here now. Look at all these PLANTS!!! I am going to study ALL OF THEM.

The Traveler: ...

The Traveler: 😊❤

[artificialqueens]

Not Nineteen Forever (21) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex) - Ortega

a/n: omg i’m emotional. guys, welcome to the last chapter of n19f. this fic has been the absolute best fun to write and i truly love these girls and the journey they’ve been on so much. big big huge thanks and love to every single person that’s ever left a note, hit reblog or left me lovely anons, DMs, comments or tags, they’ve all meant the absolute world to me and i love u so much. obviously i can’t let things go, so keep an eye out for some form of sequel coming in the next few months or so (patience is a virtue xo). for one last time…….let’s go, lesbians!!!!!!!

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

tw: bit of weed in this one. no zoos, dw xo

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: the girls all went to the beach, Scarlet and Yvie made plans for after uni, and Scarlet got the degree classification she so desperately wanted.

this chapter: it’s Brooke’s graduation day.

***

Brooke looked around at the chaos that was their kitchen. The kitchen utensils (which were all Nina’s that she and Yvie had shamelessly used as if they were their own over the 2 years they’d lived together) were wrapped up in bubble wrap and packed neatly into cardboard boxes which sat on top of the dining table. Yvie’s kitchenware- a blue bowl with a chip out of it, a huge white plate, a Tigger mug, and a mismatched fork, knife and spoon- had been inelegantly packed into an orange Sainsbury’s bag and left on the counter. Brooke had already packed up her own belongings and had moved them into a corner of her room so they wouldn’t take up space in the already-tiny kitchen. All their store cupboard food was in the process of being packed up for the foodbank, which was inevitably going to be flooded with the discarded super noodles, tinned soups and flavoured teas of the migrating tenants of student flats.

Yvie let out a snort from her position in front of their food cupboards, and Brooke’s heart gave a twinge at seeing them so empty. Top shelf had been hers: pasta, rice, stock cubes, and emergency maple syrup tin. The middle shelf was Nina’s: loaf of white bread, tins of tuna, ryvita, breadsticks, crisps. And Yvie’s food had occupied the bottom shelf: chocolate digestives, Ainsely Harriott cous cous, peanut butter, and sour patch kids. All gone. Except, Brooke noticed, for a jar of Marmite which had sat on the middle shelf and that Yvie was holding in her hand.

“Whose was the Marmite?” she asked, an amused tone to her voice. Nina shrugged from her position on the sofa.

“I’ve never once eaten Marmite.”

“It’s on your shelf, girl,” Yvie shrugged, her eyebrows questioning. Nina gave another shrug.

“I know. It’s always lived there. I swear to God it just turned up one day and I left it there. Thought it was one of yours because Christ knows you’re both too lazy to put it on your own damn shelves,” Nina reprimanded them both. Brooke laughed.

“You know you’re going to regret being so mean to us when you don’t live with us any more and we’re adults and it takes 9 months to clear our schedules for one singular coffee,” she raised her eyebrows at her flatmate as Nina pouted and let out a groan, held out her arms for a hug which Brooke fell into.

“Don’t! This is already too heartbreaking, I can’t believe we only have two days left here.”

“I can’t believe we’re actually organised with this moving out process.”

“I can’t believe we have a phantom jar of Marmite that nobody’s claiming,” Yvie piped up, peering at the jar with interest. “Brooke, you like this shit, right?”

“Marmite is Satan’s black fecal matter and I’m offended you think I eat it,” she deadpanned, shifting to get comfy in Nina’s lap whilst attempting to be as inconvenient as possible to her friend.

“Get the hell off me. Only my girlfriend is allowed to sit on me for so long that I lose feeling in my legs,” Nina huffed, shoving at Brooke until she relented and sat beside her. It didn’t stop her from putting her cold feet on her bare thigh though, and Nina hissed and jumped away. “I take it all back. I’m not going to miss either of you idiots at all.”

“You’re a crap liar,” Yvie smiled smugly, binning the Marmite and joining the two girls on the sofa, squeezing in between them both. “Awh, guys…it’s the end of an era.”

Brooke suddenly felt tears prick at her eyes out of nowhere. “Shut up. We’ve still got tomorrow and the next day.”

“Yeah, but tomorrow you’re gonna be doing graduation-y shit and then it’s moving day!” Nina protested. Her voice grew small, dropping to a murmur. “It’s kind of like it’s our last day.”

The girls fell silent. Yvie let out a huge puff of air from her lungs. “Don’t tell anyone I said this but I’m gonna miss you girls so fucking much.”

“Awh, Yves. I’ll miss you too,” Nina sighed, burying her face into Yvie’s shoulder and curling her arms around one of Yvie’s. “But this is good! Change is good, even if it’s scary and different. And you’re gonna be living with Scarlet! That’s exciting!”

“How’s the flat hunting going?” Brooke asked Yvie, who had a little smile on her face. Brooke didn’t know if Yvie knew that she always began to smile a little whenever Scarlet was mentioned. She wasn’t going to mention it to her. She would maybe mention it to Scarlet.

“Like I’d rather shit in my hands and clap,” Yvie groaned, running her hands down her face. “It’ll be fine, though. We’ve got a while. Her lease isn’t up until August so we’ve got a few weeks to keep looking and in the meantime I’ll just stay with her in that Dickensian death trap she calls a flat.”

The girls let out a laugh, Brooke resting her head on Yvie’s shoulder too. There was a small silence.

“At least you and Monet are sorted,” Yvie spoke again, Nina nodding in agreement. Buoyed by how well Yvie’s suggestion to Scarlet had been received, Nina had been determined not to fuck up another relationship milestone with Monet and had asked her to move in with her as well. The answer had been an emphatic yes, and the pair of them had used their terrifying teacher-levels of organisation skills to find a cute two-bed flat in a nicer, only slightly more expensive part of the city. They both knew their relationship was still new and fragile, so they’d agreed a room each was a good idea to give them their space when they each needed to work or wanted a bit of time on their own to simply do nothing. Brooke knew the two girls were joined at the hip though so they probably didn’t need that sort of contingency plan, but it was a sensible decision nonetheless.

“I can’t wait to get the keys and just vomit up a bunch of fairy lights and candles in every possible room,” she beamed, excitement radiating out of every pore. “It’s going to be so fun- we’re going to take turns cooking, and build pillow forts, and blast our songs on a Sunday morning and clean the whole place-”

“Fuck. Adulthood’s fully got you. Brooke, quick, if we run we can still save ourselves,” Yvie deadpanned, Nina giving her a whack as Brooke laughed.

“I personally can’t wait to go round and visit at every available opportunity. I’m going to move in,” Brooke smiled, and Nina gave another sad kicked-puppy pout.

“I wish. Canada is so far away,” she sighed, a little knife going through Brooke’s heart at the thought of moving back. She didn’t want to think about it, but it was just inevitable. It was happening, and it was fact. She was going back to Canada. She didn’t really know what she was doing, she hadn’t found herself a flat, and she didn’t have a job to earn money and pay the rent with even if she had, so she was flying home.

She really didn’t want to think about leaving. She didn’t want to think about leaving the city, constantly busy with tourists and families and drunk students and Very Important Working Adults. She didn’t want to think about leaving the park, with the cherry blossom trees that lined every path and fond memories of barbecues and picnics and drinking in the sun with the girls. She didn’t want to think about leaving uni- because as stressful as all hell her degree had been, she’d loved studying fashion design, loved making prototypes, loved learning about something she loved, even though her degree was fuck all use to her trying to get an actual job. She didn’t want to think about leaving the flat: the shower with its drippy head, the hob with the one gas burner that didn’t work, the carpet in her room with the incongruous red faded stain, the fucking Sports Direct mug. The girls that she loved so much her heart felt sore if she thought too much about it: Nina singing obnoxiously early as she got ready for placement, Yvie making the kitchen into a war zone trying new recipes, the ridiculous squabbles they got into about the washing up, pre-pre-drinks where they shared a bottle of pink Gordon’s and splashed mixers into their mismatched glasses and sang along to Ariana Grande at the top of their lungs.

Tears stung at her eyes again, and she swallowed the big lump in her throat to shoo them away. It was too late though, as Nina had seen her glassy eyes and reached over to hug her. Her own voice was thick with tears as she spoke.

“Oh, girls,” she let out a shaky breath, Brooke giving up the fight as she felt her own tears drop down onto her hoodie. “Change is good…but it’s shit.”

“Fuck you both, I’m not crying,” Yvie said, her breathing all shuddery and letting them both know that was a lie. The girls all sat and held each other as they wept quietly, mourning the death of their student careers and this life they’d lived for three years that they’d all too often taken for granted.

Brooke was the first to dry her tears, giving one decisive sniff and sweeping under both her eyes with determination. “Right. I’m putting a stop to this, we’re not spending our kind-of last night in the flat sitting crying like a bunch of babies. We’re going to order food, get high as St Peter’s balls and watch shitty game shows that make us yell at the TV. Okay?”

She was happy that Yvie and Nina both snorted a weepy laugh and nodded at her. “Okay.”

And the three girls did just what Brooke had suggested. There was, however, bickering about where they should order from. Yvie wanted sushi from the tiny little place tucked away in a back street that did bento boxes with prawn katsu and salmon maki which were like little rice parcels of heaven. Nina wanted Chinese from their favourite takeaway that delivered from out in the suburbs and where, for about fifteen points all in, you could get a banquet of sweet and sour chicken in sticky red sauce, crispy golden salt and chilli chips with huge red jewels of chilli and slices of garlic, chicken fried rice in a rich Cantonese gravy which bound everything together and chow mein with soft spring onion slices and huge chunks of onions all tossed in soy sauce. Brooke’s selection won in the end though as her argument was the strongest- “I might not taste any of this again, Canada is a long fucking journey, okay?!”- so they ordered burritos and chips and salsa from the incredibly-overpriced-but-worth-it burrito bar on campus. They finished the last of the weed that had been wrapped in tin foil and cling film and shoved to the back of the broom cupboard along with the bong, and they made horrifying cocktails from the dregs of their leftover spirits and mixers. The burritos arrived and they stuck Challenge TV on and shouted at the Catchphrase contestants who couldn’t get the most obvious fucking catchphrases Brooke had ever seen in her life.

The evening was perfect.

They talked about Brooke’s graduation tomorrow, Nina and Yvie both saying how proud they were of her. Brooke was glad she had the girls, since her Mum’s flight over to see her graduate had been cancelled because of freak winds back in Canada. Brooke had already cried to her over facetime about it, but Yvie had managed to find the link to the livestream that was only meant to be shown on campus, and she’d sent Brooke’s Mum the link so Brooke knew she would be watching even if she couldn’t properly be there. As soon as they’d heard the news, the girls had all agreed on the group chat to set up camp in the union and watch the livestream (as Brooke and Plastique would be graduating at the same ceremony) and then take photos with them both afterwards outside the great hall as if they were a gaggle of proud Mums. Even though it wouldn’t be what she’d planned, Brooke was still looking forward to it.

It was around midnight before Brooke took herself off to bed, and just as she got cosy underneath the duvet her phone lit up with a notification. She couldn’t help the smile that involuntarily shot to her face when she realised it was Vanessa.

V: hey what’s ya fav Kanye West album mine is GRADUATION!!!!!!! How you feelin about tomorrow boo? xxxxxx

Brooke let out a laugh, muffling it too late with her hand when it came out louder than expected. Christ, she loved the girl so much.

B: Kanye West is a misogynist pig and i won’t stand for him xxxxxx

B: Stronger is a bop though xxxxxx

V: You got that one right xxxxxx

B: And I’m good! Big jumble of feelings. Big happy/sad vibes xxxxxx

V: I know it’s bittersweet af xxxxxx

V: Me n Scar just held each other and cried once the ceremony was over xxxxxx

Vanessa and Scarlet had graduated last week, as had their other friends. Brooke and Plastique’s graduation date was the latest and so they were graduating last. She didn’t mind that, though. The longer she could stay being a student the better.

B: Lol we just had a big cry as a full flat xxxxxx

V: Don’t lmao idk what we gonna be like when our lease is up xxxxxx

Brooke scrolled up and looked at all the texts they’d exchanged from the past two months, the same signature of six kisses at the end of them all. They hadn’t really spoken about where they were relationship-wise since the night in the library. Maybe Vanessa didn’t want to. Maybe it was for the best. Brooke’s heart hurt as she realised she was going to be on the other side of the world in a matter of days, and maybe Vanessa didn’t want to see her ever again. She frowned at her own thoughts before tears had a chance to start welling in her eyes again. It had been good to truly get back to where she’d been before with Vanessa- just texting random garbage, having deep chats about the future, being ever-so-slightly flirty with each other. She thought about confronting the issue head on over text, but it wasn’t the medium through which to have that kind of conversation.

As if Vanessa could read her mind, however, another text came through.

V: When do you fly back again? 20th? xxxxxx

Brooke’s heart felt sore.

B: 12th xxxxxx

V: oh right

Brooke’s pulse froze at the lack of kisses. Her fingers ghosted over her screen, trying to figure out what to type. Vanessa sorted the problem for her.

V: fuck I wish you weren’t leaving xxxxxx

Brooke’s heart swelled up then popped. Was this the time? No. But their time was running out, she knew that much. Maybe she could see her before she left. She’d see her after her graduation anyway.

B: I wish I wasn’t either xxxxxx

B: But you’re coming tomorrow yeah? Xxxxxx

V: Wouldn’t miss it for the world baby xxxxxx

Fuck, she would miss her so much. She’d already told Vanessa how much she meant to her, just how fucking incredible she was in every way, and yet Brooke felt like doing it again.

She didn’t, because it would be too weird. But she wanted to more than anything.

V: You gonna look so beautiful and clever tomorrow I just know it xxxxxx

Brooke smiled to herself, blushing on her own at the compliment. Vanessa seemed to be firing risky texts to her left right and centre, so Brooke took a risk of her own.

B: Not as beautiful as you xxxxxx

She almost threw her phone away once she’d sent it. A reply came back almost instantly.

V: Stop with the lies xxxxxx

She was leaving in two days so she sent another risky one, caution truly pissed into the wind.

B: You’re honestly the most beautiful girl in the world xxxxxx

At that point Brooke put her phone face down on her bedside table and decided to sleep, her heart full of butterflies and her thoughts filled with the ridiculously massive crush she had on the girl she’d been idiotic enough to let go the first time.

When Brooke woke up, her phone was blowing up with messages. The one she checked first was from Vanessa in reply to the one she’d sent last night, and was simply a series of heart eye emojis. The next one she opened was a text from her Mum, paragraphs of pride and love for her daughter that made Brooke want to cry already. The others were all from the chat- Silky, Akeria, Vanessa, Scarlet, Yvie and Nina all spamming it with messages of luck and love for her and Plastique, and promising they’d be watching the screen and waiting outside for them when the ceremony was done.

Brooke got ready in a dream-like haze. She took her smart black tailored dress out of the cupboard where it had been hanging for the past month, the garment more ready for graduating than she was. She showered then dried her hair, curling it and brushing out so it made waves down her back. She put on her makeup- browns and nudes with only the tiniest bit of highlight. When she stepped into her dress and heels and looked at herself in front of the mirror, she hardly recognised herself.

She looked like an adult. A woman with her life stretching out in front of her, ready to be whatever she made of it.

Brooke phoned a taxi- it was raining just a little, even though it was already July- and pulled on a smart black coat when she saw it pull up outside, dashing carefully down the steps of the stairwell and out into the new day.

Graduation wasn’t til 11, but Brooke had arranged to meet up with Plastique beforehand anyway, just so they could be excited together. When Brooke pulled up at the taxi rank outside the square and the huge ceremony hall, she could see Plastique and her Mum there already, standing bickering amongst the growing gaggle of students and families. The sight only hurt Brooke a bit, until she remembered the girls would all be watching, and her Mum would be watching too no matter how far away. It would, after all, be about one and a half hours of waiting for Brooke to walk across the stage, take a scroll and shake a hand, and then it would all be over.

It was scary to think that that was all that was separating her and the adult world.

Trying not to get too deep and to instead just enjoy the day, Brooke excitedly paid the driver and dashed out of the taxi, Plastique spotting her running towards her and giving an excited squeal. She opened her arms out for a hug which Brooke crashed into.

“Bitch! How are you!” Plastique cried, Brooke only squeezing her tightly in response. “I’m so excited! And sad. And excited! And emotional.”

“Yeah, I can tell!” Brooke teased, Plastique laughing as she stepped out of the hug and gestured to her Mum, dressed very glamorously in a blue dress, blue heels and a pink fascinator. The occasion didn’t really call for it but Plastique’s Mum was always one to embrace the potential glamour in every situation, and so she had gone all out.

“You’ve met my Mum, right?” Plastique smiled. Brooke nodded and waved her a hello. She’d met her once at their second year showcase, the woman keeping her in stitches with her hilarious stories.

“I have! Nice to see you again, Alyssa.”

Alyssa, throwing formalities out of the window, instead pulled Brooke into a crushing hug. “And you too, my angel! Awh, Lord, ‘Tique told me all about your Mama’s flight. My heart is absolutely breakin’ for you, honey. I would’ve sent a plane over for her but nobody’s flying out of there come hell or high water.”

Brooke suppressed a laugh, finding it unbelievable that “I’ll just get her a plane” was on Alyssa’s list of options. “It’s okay Alyssa. Thank you, though. She’s going to watch the live stream, Yvie hooked her up with a link.”

“Well I’ll be your Mama just for today, girl. I am so proud of you both!” Alyssa cried, putting both her hands on Plastique’s shoulders and sighing. “Look at my intelligent daughter, out here gettin’ degrees and lookin’ so beautiful at the same time.”

Plastique smiled at her Mum lovingly, the two of them sharing one last hug before she and Brooke took themselves off to pick up their robes. It was surreal actually wearing the gown, all billowing and black, and helping each other fix their hoods, light blue with fringes of pink. They went to get their graduation photos taken, Brooke surprised that they were given a prop degree to hold as she’d always thought it was her actual degree she’d be holding. She laughed as Plastique moaned to her about not being able to see the photo until it got mailed to her, and the fact that her Mum ordered about twenty four copies so even if it was horrible she wouldn’t ever be able to escape it. Alyssa texted Plastique to tell her she’d gone into the hall to get a good seat, so her and Brooke decided to just go and sit ready anyway. They had to say goodbye to each other briefly until the end of the ceremony, as everyone had to sit in alphabetical order. As she waited for the ceremony to begin, Brooke scanned the huge crowds all seated in the hall’s three tiered levels. Her eyes fell on each empty seat and her heart broke a little more each time she saw one.

Nobody she truly loved would see her graduate in person. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t absolutely gutted. But at least she had Plastique, and of course, Alyssa.

Before she knew it, the ceremony had begun. She tried to pay attention to the Dean’s address and the chamber choir singing in Latin but she couldn’t help feeling like a 16-year-old in her school assembly, bored and just full of anticipation. Eventually, the awards began. Brooke clapped for all the other students crossing the stage, her eyes trained on the way they walked. She swallowed down the panic she felt, banished the thought of tripping over to the back of her mind. It reached Plastique’s turn, and she gave a huge cheer as her friend walked across the stage with all the grace and poise of a supermodel. She could hear Alyssa’s voice shouting from the balcony- “That’s my baby! That’s my girl!”- and, for a moment, she thought she heard the yell of a voice she knew all too well.

No. That was crazy. She must have imagined it.

E in the alphabet turned to F, then G, and eventually, H. Brooke didn’t have many others to sit through, and eventually there was only one girl separating her and her degree. The moment these three years had led up to, finally being lived out.

“Brooke Lynn Hytes.”

She heard her name and smiled as she walked carefully across the stage, shaking the Dean’s hand tightly and collecting her scroll all wrapped up in its little embossed tube. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she walked to the other side, heard the claps, heard the cheers, and heard…

“Love you, Brooke Lynn!”

Stop.

“Go Brooke! Love you, girl!”

It was her. It was actually her. Vanessa’s voice, soaring above the crowd and reaching Brooke like an arrow.

What the fuck was she doing here, at her actual graduation ceremony? As Brooke dismounted the stage she scanned the room like a meerkat, the place far too packed to distinguish Vanessa from any other of the little blobs of people sitting in each row. But she knew it was her. Vanessa had seen her graduate, had seen her collect her degree and had cheered for her.

Brooke didn’t know how she’d managed to get a ticket - they were all reserved for families- but she suddenly couldn’t wait for the ceremony to end.

She didn’t have long to wait, as time flew by and everything was over before it could all sink in. Brooke and Plastique emerged from the hall to the crowds outside and, just as they had promised, the girls all rushed forward to crush them in ridiculously tight hugs, Silky yelling at the top of her lungs how proud she was of them both and Akeria shaking a bottle of five pound cava until the cork opened easily and sprayed the fizz all over the two girls. Brooke clung to Plastique and laughed, unable to stop the smile that was plastered on her face.

“I can’t believe it! You both did it, congratulations!” Scarlet cried cheerfully, Brooke pulling her into another hug.

“Did you see me shaking when I walked across the stage? I thought I was going to trip and fall off the damn thing!” Brooke laughed, the other girls all laughing too.

“You looked like a confident, graceful, successful queen,” Nina told her, Brooke wanting to cry at her friend’s compliment. “And you are all of those things! Fuck, I can’t believe we’ve all graduated now. What the hell are we going to do?!”

“Aw, let’s not think about that,” Akeria shushed her, a proud smile on her face. “Well done, ladies. We’re all proud of you. You did that shit.”

Plastique hugged and thanked them all again before making her excuses, saying she’d be right back, and dashing off to Alyssa. As she left, Yvie took Brooke’s hand and squeezed it.

“So, have you not got some big, teen-movie speech to make, or something?” she quipped. Brooke frowned, looking at her with confusion. The rest of the girls all waited for the penny to drop excitedly, and Brooke saw Akeria’s eyes land on someone just over her shoulder. Brooke turned around and, through the crowd, saw Vanessa waiting beside the hall. Their eyes met, and Brooke could see her try and then fail to suppress the smile on her face. Brooke turned back to the girls, pointing over her shoulder at the girl waiting for her.

“How did…you were all-”

Akeria rolled her eyes, gave her a gentle shove. “Go get your fuckin’ girl, idiot.”

Brooke hardly had to be told twice. She turned around, took two steps, then three, then four, until she realised she was almost jogging over to where Vanessa stood. And suddenly she was in front of her- her hair wavy and falling over her shoulders, her outfit exactly what any graduation guest would be wearing- a smart red dress that accentuated Vanessa’s collarbones and dark eyes and the bright white of the smile she was flashing Brooke’s way.

“Hey,” Brooke began, faltering slightly. She didn’t know where to start, so she chose the obvious. “You were there.”

“Yep!” Vanessa smiled at her proudly.

“How did…how?” Brooke stuttered out, still completely at a loss. Vanessa let out a laugh, charming beyond anything Brooke had heard before.

“I messaged your Mama. Got her number off Yvie after she sent her the link for the livestream. Basically said “hey Ms Hytes…can I grab your ticket and see your daughter graduate so I can surprise her”?” Vanessa grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Brooke couldn’t believe it. Her own Mum had been in on the whole thing and hadn’t let on. She was going to kill the woman the moment she touched down in Toronto.

“Oh my God. You’re amazing,” Brooke gasped, taking a little step forward so they were closer. She felt like crying. Vanessa was here, in front of her for what was maybe the last time. She had to do something. She couldn’t lose her. Not again.

“Amazing, huh?” Vanessa asked shyly, looking to the ground. They both knew the question meant so much more than simply what it was, and Brooke, without knowing where her confidence had emerged from, took both of Vanessa’s hands in hers. Vanessa’s gaze shot up, and their eyes met.

“Can I kiss you?”

“God, please.”

Without waiting a second longer, Brooke tipped her head down and met Vanessa’s lips. It was somehow just like the first time, even though in many ways it wasn’t at all. This time, Brooke knew every single inch of Vanessa’s body, she knew her ambitions, her fears, she knew what it was like to have almost lost her and be lucky enough to have her come back again. But most of all, Brooke knew that she was in love with her, so fucking in love with her, this one of a kind girl who she was desperate to keep in her life no matter if Vanessa chose her to be hers or not. Their kiss was gentle and urgent and passionate all at once, and Brooke wanted to hold onto the moment forever. When Vanessa’s lips were gone and Brooke was all at once looking at her again, she had tears in her eyes.

“Hey, hey, ‘Ness. Come on, this isn’t…don’t be upset.”

“I am, though! I’m an idiot. These past two months we could’ve been kissing like that and going on cute dates and planning the future and having fuckin’ insane levels of sex but I left you hanging like boo boo the fuckin’ fool when I knew what my decision was the moment we had that conversation in the library, because it’s you, Brooke, fuck, it’s always been you. I love you so much,” Vanessa sniffed, frantically wiping her tears away as Brooke pulled her against her chest. Vanessa’s voice murmured against her, the most hopeful, plaintive question. “Do you still love me?”

“Fuck, Vanessa, of course I love you. You’re just…the person I was meant to meet, you’re the person I’m meant to have in my life. I love you so much.”

Brooke felt like an idiot as tears began to well up in her own eyes. She looked down at Vanessa and she looked back up at her.

“You’re leaving,” Vanessa let out a tiny sob, her forehead hitting Brooke’s chest again.

“I’ll come back,” Brooke said immediately, meaning it. “Honestly, I will. I’ll book my flights as soon as I’m home. I’ll look for flats and jobs and we can start again. We’ll make it work. I want to be with you.”

Vanessa looked up at her, her happy, grateful smile at Brooke’s words all she needed. She let out a tearful laugh. “Brooke Lynn, will you be my girlfriend?”

Brooke laughed too, taking her both her hands and squeezing them. “Hey, fuck you, I wanted to ask first!”

They both laughed then leaned in for another kiss. Brooke didn’t need to answer. Vanessa hadn’t needed to ask.

As they broke away and wrapped their arms around each other, Brooke felt the tears spring up in her eyes as she looked over at the girls. There was Akeria, making some quip about something, and Silky howling at whatever it was she’d said. Monet had joined them all and was swigging the cava out of the bottle, an arm around Nina who was looking at her with adoration. Scarlet and Yvie were telling them both a story, their hands intertwined and their bodies close. Plastique had dragged her Mum over to meet them all and her face was animated as she spoke to her, so full of happiness and excitement.

“Fuck, Vanessa, I can’t believe it’s all over,” Brooke let out a small sob. Vanessa reached up, swept her tears away with a gentle finger.

“Hey. Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Brooke smiled down at her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. There was nobody she’d rather have spent the past three years with.

“You wanna go steal that cava back from Monet?”

Brooke giggled and nodded. Joining their hands together and giving them a little squeeze, they walked back over to be with their family.

[juulesinthe70s]

DISCLAIMER: so i wanted this playlist to sound kinda platonic, kinda ambiguous as their relationship is. but instead, this sounds really really yes homo so! enjoy, hope you like it! (i must add: i ship kelso with brooke, and fez with whoever really makes him happy, so let’s say big rhonda! i like their relationship as it is buuut yea. platonic or not, they love each other so ♡)

KELSO + FEZ // spotify playlist

　　1.　(can we be friends?) – conan gray 　 　 　 could you be my best friend? 　 　 　 let's hang out every weekend 　 　 　 go driving every night 　 　 　 stare at people that we like. 　 　 　 　　2.　telepathy – egg 　 　 　 you have me smilin' stupid 　 　 　 every time I see your face i swoon 　 　 　 not to be sappy 　 　 　 but I'm happy when you walk into the room. 　 　 　 　　3.　mattress – leland 　 　 　 why do i always do this to myself 　 　 　 i let you go with someone else 　 　 　 when all I want's my body on your mattress. 　 　 　 　　4.　you’ve got a friend in me – randy newman 　 　 　 some other folks might be 　 　 　 a little bit smarter than i am 　 　 　 bigger and stronger too, maybe 　 　 　 but none of them will ever love you 　 　 　 the way I do, it's me and you, boy. 　 　 　 　　5.　there for you – martin garrix, troye sivan 　 　 　 so when your tears roll down your pillow like a river 　 　 　 i’ll be there for you, i’ll be there for you 　 　 　 when you're screaming, but they only hear you whisper 　 　 　 i’ll be loud for you. 　 　 　 　　6.　dude (i totally miss you) – tenacious d 　 　 　 totally miss the honesty 　 　 　 and special times, and honestly 　 　 　 i totally miss the fucked up thing ya do 　 　 　 　　7.　you’re my best friend – queen 　 　 　 you're my sunshine and i want you to know 　 　 　 that my feelings are true 　 　 　 i really love you 　 　 　 oh, you're my best friend. 　 　 　 　　8.　lucky strike – troye sivan 　 　 　 and my boy like a queen 　 　 　 unlike one you've ever seen 　 　 　 he knows how to love me better. 　 　 　 　　9.　just the way you are – bruno mars (but like change her w/ him) 　 　 　 and when you smile 　 　 　 the whole world stops and stares for a while 　 　 　 ‘cause [boy] you're amazing 　 　 　 just the way you are.　 　 　

　 　 　 ( work in progress! )

if you have any suggestions! feel free to comment or dm or anything you want! i made the playlist cover. it’s still a work in progress, so i might change my mind on a few songs. i’m not really that sure! anyways

[fortheloveofskz]

I don’t understand why everyone here is mad about Brooke possibly being with CG when Vanessa has had been with several different guys since Brooke, ones who are way worse than CG (that Kameron guy). Is Brooke not allowed to be with other people but Vanessa is? I don’t understand why the reactions are different even if you don’t like the guy.

If you get mad at one of them because of clownery and scenarios you made up in your head, you need to take a step back and find a hobby. It's not normal to be frustrated at B/CG/V because we actually DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!! Remember y'all, clowning is not reality and speculations are not facts. I don't mind the clowning but some of you REALLY need to chill. Yikes 😬

I'm tired that some of you think B is the mean one for everything she does and that you treat V like a baby and her only personality trait is being a desperate ex. They deserve better and less judgemental fans. Sorry to say it like that but that's what some of you are 🤷🏼‍♀️. Acting as if you know them better than themselves when we probably only know less than 10% of what really goes on between them. Speculating is fine until you start judging someone's character and start hating them for it

I cant believe you all convinced yourselves that V and B were back together in some capacity to the point where people are reacting the way they currently are. I’m honestly shocked and somewhat disgusted at the way some people are handling this. At the end of the day, if B is happy then what the fuck else matters??

I love clowning when it's funny and doesn't do any harm but to judge B and be all "poor V" when we actually DON'T KNOW them outside of what we see, is NOT it. The libra thing was funny, B was making fun of herself and the branjie stans. Also, V seems to be doing just fine! She's just very busy with her tour. Liking B's posts after B opened the door with her tweet about their facetime call DOESN'T mean she's still in love. Like V said : it's not that deep! Y'all are to quick to judge and project

I think saying B lied about the reasons her realtionship with V and calling her a coward is unfair. People can change and grow (let's not forget they broke up more than a year ago!). Also, we aren't sure what it is with CG. If it's a fwb situation or an open relationship, those wouldn't even be options for V (we know she wants The Notebook) so if that's what works for B than it is what it is. Can we just be happy for B and V no matter what and stop always making it about the other?

To anon saying "I only feel this way because B has been very misleading" when B wasn't completely clear about her relationship with V? She was blunt at the reunion, she was blunt in her twitter/instagram post, she was blunt in her monologue at the branjie funeral. She was never misleading, people are just over analyzing everything and being delusional. And like B said after DXP when people tried to police her interactions with V: it's their friendship they will act as they please.

PEOPLE CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

Why does when B get in a relationship all hell breaks loose but when V already had a boyfriend and other flings the reactions aren’t as hateful ? Let them live their life. I hope that both of them will find happiness. And that’s that.

Honesty I’m happy for the Brooke bc now I can stop clowning these fools. I’m sure all’s fine with V too but I dunno I hope the sm break and eye roll wasn’t for this. Anyway, here’s one thing I’m thinking - remember how hot V looked at drag con post reunion? I really hope she brings sexy V to drag con, forgets about all these stupid boys, and just is hot hot hot for all the world to see! And they better play Diamonds by Normani and Meg for Vs drag con runway entrance thingy!!!!

B said about wanting freedom about a relationship that happened a year ago. She could be in a different place now. And from what we can see of the cg relationship it looks much more loose and free - thats probably exactly what she wanted and something vanjie couldnt or didnt want to give her. People can be attracted to each other and want different things from a relationship that arent compatible it's neither of their faults

To be fair to B she at no point has said that shes still interested in V romantically or sexually. She has only ever said theyre friends. We're the clowns making it mean more than it does. B is flirty with literally everyone as you'll know if you've ever seen him irl or at a meet and greet. It's his only way of interacting with the world

They're not dating, come on! They are just friends with benefits. I know this is a blog for clowning, but them dating doesn't make sense with what they have both been saying lately.

It was a picture but not an admission. He never said meet my new boo. Also it was a story not a post. It will be gone in 24 hrs!

Ya know what brooke lynn can do what she wants she grown. I'm not a fan of animal exploitation workers but S seems kinda sweet and if he makes B happy good. Just so long as next time vanessa find herself a new man brooke lynn don't be pulling no damn tricks. I'm not afraid to fight a giant.

People are very passionate about this whole thing. I have my own personal opinion and feeling on the topic but honestly I am too tired to get into it. I mean you can go through my blog and pretty much figure out what I think. For now we just sit back and see what happens. If anyone is personally affected by this and needs to talk my dms are always open. I just am going to be excited for Drag Con this weekend and hopefully getting some great, new drag content.

[bewaretheundead91]

Put That Phone Down

Audrey Jensen X Y/N

A/N: It’s a little cheesy, but I hope you enjoy. I’ve been having a hard time getting myself to write lately and I apologize. This is a little fluffy and cheesy. This fic is basically about Audrey and her girlfriend hanging out. I apologize if the writing is a bit weird. Idk. I didn’t want to post this, but it’s done. have a good night.

Music that inspired this update: Lost Kings - Phone Down ft. Emily Warren

You sat on the edge of Audrey’s bed with your phone in hand, everyone had become more obsessed with their phones over the year, more than the usual and with good reason. Mainly since your friends were getting anonymous texts that usually lead to a death of another friend or information about it. In anxiety you kept your phone above a 50% charge at all times just in case you were to receive another text or a call from a distressed friend. Today after school you were spending time with your girlfriend, it was a friday and plans were up in the air. Audrey was moving around in the background. The room suddenly gets dark as she slides the curtains close over the large windows that exposed most of her room to the world. Little slithers of light sprinkle through out the room. You lazily plop down on to the bed and hold your phone up to eye and start to scroll through the usual social media pages. Brooke had posted another selfie with perfect makeup, Stavo another drawing, Emma had posted a photo of a leaf made with steamed milk in a coffee, and Noah had posted a photo of a horror movie poster that had just been added to the side of the theatre Audrey worked at. They all seem to be distracted from what was happening in town, but there you were anxious for more of it, more signs, more ways to solve who the killer was.

Audrey unlaces her boots and takes them off and kicks them to the side. She walks over to her dresser and pulls out an of cut off muscle tank top and sport bra to change into for comfort. She looks over her shoulder at you and shakes her head. The fact that her girlfriend was lying on her bed scrolling through her phone was annoying her. “Are you seriously still on your phone?” Audrey asks, but you are barely paying attention. The next social media outlet was up, what videos had everyone posted? “When I actually have my girlfriend all to myself, she is on her phone. Hey Y/N!” You scroll through short videos peers and friends had posted and didn’t really feel like watching them. Had anyone posted anything on the recent murder to the BookFace? What were people saying about your friends? Lately you were on edge and needed to be up to date about what people were saying, you had to comment back to anyone spreading lies. Audrey sighs loudly, she pulls her black t-shirt off of and throws it across the room, toward your direction and then places her hands on her hips. She was just standing in her bra and jeans, body facing you. You don’t look up, not even the shirt tossed across the room got your attention, you were still fully immersed in whatever you were looking at on your phone. “The Brandon James killer isn’t going to text you, Y/N,”  Audrey grunts, then looks down at herself still half dressed. She sighs loudly. “Really? Y/N? I’m almost naked here and my dad isn’t home. Noah isn’t calling me and Emma is happily at work. Brooke is out with Stavo tonight.” “Audrey did you see the new drawing Stavo posted earlier? The graphic novel is really coming along,” You say finally speaking, but not hearing what she had just said. “I still don’t know about it though, It seems like a bad idea. They can’t just use everyone’s pain for profit.” “Yeah I saw it,” Audrey says placing her hands into her hair and glaring at her girlfriend who still didn't have any interest. “Can you put your phone down. What so important?”   “Give me a second I’m texting Brooke about meeting up tomorrow,” You say lying. “She wants me to help her pick out a dress for some fancy dinner Stavo wants to take her on.” “Fancy dinner huh?” Audrey says throwing her arms up trying to catch your attention. “Something I can’t even take my girlfriend on. Mainly because she’s too busy on her phone.” Audrey unclasps her bra she throws it to the ground and crosses her arms over her chest. The girl on the bed still didn’t look away from her phone. The short hair girl clears her throat loudly trying to break up the quiet room, minus the small tick sounds coming from your phone produced out of typing a text. Audrey turns around and pulls on a sports bra and then the tank top. She rolls her eyes at the missed opportunity of being intimate with her girlfriend. Next she unbuttoned her black jeans and pulls them down exposing the boxer like underwear she wore beneath it them. The ones you liked, that rested on her hips so nicely. She yanks the tight jeans off her ankles, balls them up, and tosses it to where she had thrown her shirt. She stood there in her underwear. “So are you more into your phone than your girlfriend?” Audrey says walking over towards the bed. She gazes down at the girl who’s phone screen had illuminated her face with a blue glow. It was a harsh glow. “No,” You say casually and then press your lips together tightly. “I love my girlfriend.” Audrey snatches your ankles and pulls you down toward her quickly. A loud shriek escapes from your mouth. Your legs dangle off the side of the bed and she leans forward pressing a hand on both sides of your body with a glare on her face. “Still finding that phone more interesting?” Quickly she snatches the phone and gently tosses it to the other side of the bed near her pillows. “Not anymore!” “Audrey come on!” You shout trying to reach for your phone. “I was in the middle of something…” “Like I said earlier, my dad is not home and all of our friends are busy and all I wanted you to do was to put that damn phone down. I was even half naked a minute ago,” Audrey’s face heats up and curves into a smirk. “But you were waiting for a DM or a text from the ghost face killer…” “Half naked?” You tilt your head looking up at your girlfriend. It definitely had been a while since the two of you had been intimate. Circumstances never gave you and Audrey the chance to really be alone until now. How could you have missed that? “I wasn’t waiting for a text…I was distracted by the usual social media sites that everyone is on.” “Sure you were,” Audrey says. “I would like to say we are pretty safe at the moment and we haven’t received a text or contact in how many days? It’s been a while.” Audrey slips between your legs and rests against the bed, you wrap your legs around her hips to pull her closer. She peers down at you biting on her lower lip. “Want to get naked again?” You ask goofily and started to laugh. “As romantic and cute as that was, I don’t know, I think I want to check my phone. I just remembered Emma sent me a text and I never got back to her,” Audrey hops out of your grasp and stands up. You furrow your brow and sit up onto your elbows getting angry, even though you knew there was no competition between you and Emma there was still a tinge of jealousy present surrounding Emma and Audrey’s situation. Audrey smiles and jumps back on her bed and on top of you.  Her hands find your side and start to tickle you. “I think the text can wait.” “Audrey stop!” You laugh turning onto your side. “Oh my gosh!” Audrey’s face lights up with the reaction she was getting. It made her happy to see you happy. Then the mood changed, Audrey’s lips press against yours and you open your legs so Audrey could rest on top of you comfortably. Her hands bring your legs around her waist pressing you firmly against her and your hands fumble to the exposed skin at her sides from the tank top. She deepens the kiss, moving her head to the side and timidly slipping her tongue in. You break away to gently suck on her bottom lip. She moves her hands up to the edge of your sweatshirt. “You’ve got to be burning up in this thing.” Audrey says catching her breath and looking down at the oversize sweatshirt you were wearing. “It is a bit warm in here,” You say sitting up and trying to pull it off. You grab at the thick fabric and start trying to get you arm’s out of the sleeves. Your girlfriend starts to chuckle watching you struggle. It would have been cute if it was for a different situation, but you were trying to be smooth. You get one arm and Audrey starts to finally help you with pulling the other arm out. The both of you pull it off of her head exposing the lacy bralette underneath. “I wish that would have been a bit sexier…I could just die of embarrassment.” “You look sexy with that messy hair,” Audrey whispered. She closes in and presses her lips to yours, then speaks again. “Very sexy.” “Oh yeah?” You run a hand through her short hair messing hers up. “Yes.” She whispers. Audrey leans in presses her lips to your neck, she trails kisses down to your collar bone, you rest your head back enjoying the sensation of your girlfriend being so close. She trails them between the open space of your bralette slowly making her way down  the center of your chest. Her phone starts to ring interrupting the two of you, making her try harder to keeping your attention. Your girlfriend rolls over on the bed flipping the position where you were on top of her locked between her legs. Her arms wrap around you pulling you close and keeping you there. “I wish to have you this close always.” She whispered. Audrey wasn’t a romantic, but romantic phrases fell from her mouth from time to time, reminding you that she wanted you and needed you. Circumstances made your girlfriend worry and you worried too, any member of the Lakewood 6, would worry. “If I could, I would, babe,” You say smiling down at her, you press light kisses  on her forehead and cheeks. There were tears of anxiety forming in the corner of your eye. “I’m not going anywhere.” “Don’t say that,” Audrey turns her head to the side and stares at your phone near by. “You can’t know, not with this anonymous ass on the loose killing our friends off.” “Like you said,” You press your lips to her cheek. “We shouldn’t get too caught up in this, I’m going to stop being obsessive with my phone, okay, I wont think about the ghost face killer.” “I just want time with you where we aren’t worrying about what could happen,” A tear trails out from the corner of her eye. And it was rare for Audrey to cry. “What could happen to you, Emma, or Noah. I don’t like being obsessed with the possibility of being contacted by the killer.” “Hey,” You said gently. “Then let’s not think about it okay, for now it doesn’t exist. Not while we have this free time to ourselves. We can sleep, we can kiss, we can do more than just kiss, or just breath, but just stay close to me.” Audrey faces you again, she rises up onto her elbows and presses her lips to yours. Then her shirt was off and she was in her sports bra, your shoes are kicked off, and pants shoved to the floor. You could smell her skin and feel it against yours, causing chills to constantly grow and disappear. Her hands were in your hair and legs tangled with yours. You lie on your back breathing hard, with your head resting against one of Audrey’s pillow with your girlfriend sprinkling light kisses across your stomach and around your hip bone. Interrupting the silence your phone rings making you jump. “Ignore it,” Audrey’s voice was a whisper against your skin. “Just this once.” You ignore it and stretch your arms down toward your girlfriend and pull her back  up toward you. You quickly kiss her placing your hands in her wild hair, her lips were swollen from kissing too roughly. The phone stops ringing and the kisses transition into something wild and passionate with Audrey’s hands sliding around your back and gripping at your shoulders. She trails kisses from the corner of your mouth down toward your jawline and finds the small little sweet spot located right beneath your right ear that gets you every time. Suddenly your phone starts to ring again and you quickly grab for it. Audrey nips at your neck and breath hitches at your throat before you get the chance to say hello. Her hands begin to trail down toward your hip. Audrey was doing everything she could to distract you. “Don’t answer it,” Audrey begged. “Our time remember.” “They called twice so it might be important.” A devilish look spreads across Audrey’s face as you slide your phone up to answer the call. Her hands trail down lower. “Hello?” You ask breathily. “Hey Y/N,” It was Emma. “Are you with Audrey?” “Yeah,” You answer as casually as you could, then turn away from the phone in reaction to what Audrey was doing. “She’s here.” “I need you guys to come by the cafe, it’s important. I called Audrey’s phone, but she didn’t answer. I’m going to call Brooke and Stavo. You guys can get ahold of Noah right?” “Yeah,” you say tilting your head back. Audrey’s mouth was on your stomach again. You glare at her. “Stop it Audrey!” “Is everything okay?” Emma asks. “What is Audrey doing?” “Yeah,”  You say furrowing your brows. “She’s fine, more than fine.” Audrey sits up and snatches the phone away. “What’s up Em?” Audrey asks irritated. “You’re catching us at a bad time, we…” “Oh god…” Emma starts to sound flustered. “I’m sorry…I just need you guys to get to the cafe as soon as possible. A body has been found.” “We’ll be there Em.” Audrey hangs up the phone and runs a hand through her wild hair. “So what is it?” You say getting off the bed. Quickly you pull on your undergarments and a pair of jeans. “What did Emma want?” “They’ve found a body,” Audrey gets out of her bed and starts getting dressed. “I knew this couldn’t last long, they want us to be miserable and I just wanted your attention this night.” “Hey now,” You say pulling on your sweatshirt and then walking over to your girlfriend. “I’m still here, we still have our time together, another body has been found yes, but it wasn’t one of us as sickening and sad as that sounds. We’re still alive.” “I just want to be normal, I want to spend time with my girlfriend and things to be normal, how much do I have to beg for this,” Audrey asks. You wrap your arms around her and pull her in close. “This isn’t living.” “But we are still alive,” You smile hiding the fact that you were terrified. You pull her in tight and breath in deeply. The scent of her skin was always a comfort for you. “Let’s go, but one thing, you’ve got to stop giving and start receiving.” “What do you mean?” Audrey was confused, she grabbed her car keys. “I know you were trying to keep me distracted just now by giving so much,” You say. “I’m grateful and it was amazing, but come on dude let me give.” “Okay,” Her face moves into an embarrassed expression. “I’ll start…receiving…just stay off your phone will you?” “Will do babe.” You bring her close and give her a peck on the cheek.

[wildgrave]

what do u love about ur friends

idk which one of ya sneaky bastards sent this but i’m not gonna complain b/c i will take any possible opportunity to gush about my friends.

update: this got entirely out of hand and i just wrote about like... everyone i talk to. if u talk just ctrl + f ur name (but don’t feel bad if you’re not in here b/c i’m doing this off the top of my head and can’t remember everyone!! also a lot of these are hs friends who don’t have tumblrs but u asked anon so)

i honestly love them all for different reasons tho!! i’m not going to tag everyone but: thanh is great for a straightforward answer & we have the same awful sense of humor which is basically 8 years of memes to reference (also she says no romo a lot which i find rly funny for some reason??). hannah is super loving and supportive and always looking out for me. jessie is wry and clever and honestly has every reason to get annoyed at me 24/7 but somehow doesn’t. whitten i talk to every day and is super rational about my problems which is helpful when i need solutions (also dank memes). gaby is great b/c we both have a lot of the same interests (feminism, art, fashion, shit-talking ppl, etc) and gets riled up about my problems which is great when i need someone to get angry with. colette also gets angry, usually angrier than me, about my problems and is the best person to offer to beat boys up (b/c i know if she gets drunk enough she will fight anyone). kathleen is great b/c we always end up doing something ridiculous and it’s fun and makes a good story. brooke is the fucking funniest person i have ever met and thinks she’s punk rock but is secretly boujee as fuck. amber also thinks she’s punk rock, but has the softest, purest heart of gold of anyone i’ve ever met (also she comes up with the most ridiculously hilarious ways to proposition me). claire and i can talk about absolutely anything and send each other close ups of pimples but also take nudes of eachother and honestly if thats not true friendship then what is?? sofie is honestly brilliant and always has clever comments to make and i’m lowkey in love with her to this day and i mean, if you’re not a little in love with your friends wyd?? mila is so sweet and i can have fun with her doing anything, like we don’t even need to go anywhere we can just have philosophical talks on my bed and it’s chill. sammy and i have only chilled irl once but she’s really quiet and nice but occasionally makes rly snarky comments about straight ppl which are hilarious. lucy is never on skype but when she is we have a fuckin field day and she’s so petty but like... in a funny way? i’ve only hung out with andie once (which i’m trying to change before she goes back to vegas) but she’s so into musical theatre and i love reading her tweets about it b/c i love how passionate she is! dylan makes awful decisions on the daily like... blowjob competition? rly dyn? and it’s so funny to hear about and he gives ridiculous but funny advice and is super australian and always says “bruv” which is super funny to me. jenna i’m p sure is going to be running the world in two years (also holy shit she’s graduating college?? my bb girl is growing up :’)). adja is so funny b/c i thought she was super by the rules in hs but now she’s a wild child. aidan (as in the senior in hs, not the one my age) sends me #relatable memes and even tho we don’t talk often it gets deep as shit when we do (but i lowkey don’t trust him b/c of his opinions of iron fist smh). allie is in my race & ethnicity class and is just nice all around and we DM eachother on twitter sometimes like ‘what was that awful presentation in class’). nick from polisci is so knowledgeable about politics but makes the issues funny w/o being offensive and shannon (also from polisci) dresses rly cute and we have fun conversations & the three of us have a funny group chat for our presentation. quinn is such a wannabe edgelord but is honestly so pure and a good friend. asmaa is the sweetest possible person and we always tease quinn together. ricky continously gives me a hard time about everything but in a funny way and patiently explains WoW lore to me. JT is also fun to play WoW with and makes me feel like a baby b/c he’s and old man. rebecca’s steadfast belief in drarry makes me smile and i love her writing. harri is one of my many wives and her snapchats are amazing (as are her boobs). kinzie i rarely talk to but i can still hit up sometimes like whats up bitch today i had sex while listening to wtnv. cassie, becca, and eleanor are all rly cool and super pretty and nice to chill with and i love their art and photography and general personalities. georgie gave me the sweetest poem and letter last summer when i was feeling down and we have similar aspirations and i’d love to work with her in my career sometime! marko and henry are married istg but anyway marko is such a genuine, honest person and henry is an amazing writer and i loved english with him and it’d make me happy if we were closer. lena is my protege and i am an awful mentor b/c i never see her since i graduated but she is my child. layla is the baddest bitch i have ever met, her nails are always amazing and we can be catty together and blast nicki minaj. sarah is so funny b/c everyone thinks she’s reserved and studious and stuff (and she kinda is) but once you get to know her she is the sassiest person you will ever meet. my sister and i fight sometimes over me stealing her clothes constantly but we bond over how our parents drive us up the wall and also she cooks a lot which means i can steal food. the entire volstovic cycle fandom (dani, scarlett, anna, crystal, etc) are all amazing creators of things and honestly an inspiration. rimsha is the hardest working person i have ever met and i love hearing about her succeed. brady is my fellow gay (tho tbh 90% of the ppl on this list are gay b/c we flock together) and i love him for his snarkiness. all the boys i sat at lunch with in high school (garrison, rex, arun, etc) are such memes but i didn’t realize how cool they were until we graduated and now i’m like, damn i should’ve paid them more attention even tho i saw them every day. my boyfriend is my friend and he’s the most politically active person i have ever met, and he’s such a dweeb, and he makes me smile whenever we’re together (even when i’m trying to be angry at him). feihong acts like a fuckboy but is pretty dang cool if i’m being honest; he’s rly dedicated to what he does. carly and i don’t talk but i appreciate her paintings and selfies and funny tweets from afar. morgan and i were at a fidlar concert once together and we both couldn’t survive the mosh pit (also her instagram captions are fuckin hilarious am i right or am i right?). kelly is a goddamn klepto but we always have fun together drinking coffee and talking about pens and i love and support her art and she does the same for mine. charlotte is chill and i miss just hanging out in her basement b/c she’s such a gemini but in a good way. the ppl i sit with on campus (sumaiya, alex, zuri, etc) are always having interesting convos and share food and it’s a good time. my cousin and her husband (nat and ron) are the most punk ppl in their 30s and they introduced me to the punk scene and i miss them b/c they moved back to kansas. shakey’s photography on insta makes me feel pensive and i want to go to philly just to meet her. miki i’m not super tight with but her writing is a+ and makes me cry and i love rping with her. rina is such a cool mutual and her art is dope. lea is also a cool chic and i love her hair and want her to bake my wedding cake. mousse is so nice to everyone. ellie and i only talk like twice a year at family parties but we can always dive back in and pick up where we left off. the ppl i party w (other aidan, jakob, justin, etc) are dumbasses (i use that term endearingly) but i’m 98% sure they’ve all carried me to the toilet when i’ve been puking my guts out at a party. marley was that friend that ended up going to yale and no one was surprised so i admire her success but also she was always kind to me and always asked how i was doing with my mental illnesses. renee and maria and i bonded over ib art and sga and generally being over-worked by our sponsor. alanna was another one of my proteges who i need to keep up with better b/c she’s badass and funny and has the best eyebrows ever. i don’t talk to sidney anymore but we went thru so much together and supported eachother a lot a few years ago and i still love em for that. eddie is such a dweeb, everytime i see him (which is a surprising amount considering he lives in miami) we act like nothing has changed and go at eachothers throats. rachel m & galen have both grown so so much since i met them and i’m proud of them. rachel s is so fun to talk about hoe things with and laugh at eachother. marco has the best finsta of anyone ever. danny and i talk over snapchat every so often (like every month or so) and we have the weirdest convos like?? let’s name your imaginary lizard. zamzam (from my creative writing class last semester) was super fun to hang out with when she came over and actually everyone in that class (xander, leah, olivia, will, etc) were excellent writers and hilarious and we all bonded. victor is such a bro honestly he’s funny and is very attentive (actually listens) and is fun sober or not. sandra i’ve known since i was a baby and never really talked to until recently but she’s so nice to talk to about small things. alyssa i stalk obsessively on goodreads b/c who else can read that much, istg girl you’re a cyborg (but like a pretty one). rp buds that i haven’t mentioned so far (mario, mackenzie, etc) i value a lot for their companionship and writing. there are tons of ppl from hs that i wish i had gotten to know better when i was there (julia, drea, tina, both erins, bridget, etc). 

and yeah there are more ppl but those are mostly ppl i talk to at parties or dm occasionally or wish i was friends with but admire from afar. anyway. this got long. I JUST LOVE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

[shailaunmanning]

The "Reminisce on Love" Giveaway

Ya’ll, I just released my single “Our First Kiss” to the world and I am ecstatic! Let me tell you why…

I wrote "Our First Kiss" in Austin, Texas while laying in bed with my fiancé. There was a large window to my left while the sun was peeking through trees that shaded our room, a perfect moment for reflection. I was full of love when I began asking my fiancé if he remembered some of the moments we had as friends before becoming lovers, and the one thing that stood out to both of us was our first kiss. 

It was a magical moment that stemmed from over 14 years of friendship since high school. After asking me to serve the homeless in our community, I became a partner of his charity, leading us to becoming really close friends. Then, one day at sunset after a long day of fun, he dropped me off at my doorstep and kissed me so gently. 

I wrote “Our First Kiss” to serve as memorabilia for my husband and I to always cherish and remember the moments that we have together. My hopes after writing the song were to somehow send a message to others to do the same.

This life is fleeting, so appreciate the people in your life while they are still here. 

To accompany the song, I decided to create the “Reminisce on Love” giveaway which rewards a special couple for sharing their love story with the world. My desire is to inspire hopeful romantics and encourage people to reminisce about the beautiful moments in their lives that led them to love.

In the gift box: a Fujifilm Instax camera, photo album, his and hers journal’s, a sun kissed scented candle and more.

Sooooo… I have gathered for you all a beautiful group of friends who opted to be part of the giveaway. Them and their stories are adorable! Check them out below and tell me which inspires you the most.

Taleisha and Samora Goodson

Our story isn't traditional and I wouldn't have it any other way. We met in 2007 at an Alpha party. We were friends for 3 years before Samora's persistence paid off and it clicked to me that we would be compatible as a couple.

3 years in to our relationship we were surprised to find out we were expecting our first...not our original plan but the best detour. We moved to a few states, started and ended a few careers but always having a strong relationship. Nearly 2 years later we welcomed another baby girl to the family. Soon after we celebrated our 6 year anniversary and love in front of friends and family as we got married on a beach in Jamaica. Our daughters were our flower girls and it was the dream wedding I always wanted.

Now, almost 10 years together (with our baby boy completing our family) we are madly in love and empower each other daily. We've experienced so many ups and downs but it has always been us against the world. ❤️

Imani and Quron

Three years. Third month. Third time.

My boyfriend and I met three years ago in Dallas at a business event through a mutual friend. Distracted by everything going on around me, I didn’t even notice how he was easily mesmerized by me. We exchanged IG names and that was what I thought would be the end of it.

Nearly three years passed, and I decided to leave my home in Texas and move to Oakland, California. That was when I crossed paths with Quron for a second time, except in his home state, Cali. We ran into each other at the Black Joy Parade, when I immediately recognized him. I shared that I had moved, and he welcomed me by sharing that I could reach out if I needed anything. I never did.

Another month had passed, and I reached my third month of living in Cali. In a normal stroll around the lake, I ran into Q for the THIRD time. Okay- something had to be up. We both immediately noticed one another and greeted each other with a hug. I walked off thinking “damn he is actually really cute”, but also thought that he should have expressed interest in me.

Later that day, I slid in his DM’s, only to find out that he had been mesmerized since 2017. We are now an exclusive couple, enjoying our new and exciting journey together.

Brooke and Dustin

Dustin and I met in 2009 when we were in 8th grade. His cousin was dating my bestfriend at the time. During our freshamn year we started dating, but went to different schools, so ended up breaking up. In 2011 we crossed paths again, and this time we were inseparable.

We graduated high school - he started working, and I went to a junior college. In 2018 after graduating with my bachelor’s degree, my family surprised me with a trip to Hawaii, and Dustin was going also! While in Hawaii on our second night there, we got engaged! I was living a fairytale! Over the next few months of wedding planning we bought a house, and got a dog. We got married in October 2019.

Three weeks after the wedding, My husband got laid off, and my mother in law was in the hospital. After months of not finding a job my husband applied to trade school, but ended up having to move. We are living in separate states, I’m also unemployed now due to COVID. We’ve been married 8 months now, and spent 4 of those months apart. I’m confident that this is only making our live grow stronger! No matter where life takes us, I know we’ll always have eachother.

Tiffany and Mo

Our black love journey began with a Facebook post if you can believe it. He was looking for a woman without weaved out hair styles, overly visible tattoos and children. I wasn’t going to post but decided to by saying “Were out there lol” thus the journey of Midwest King (Chicago) and Southern Queen (Dallas) aka QT & Slim began.

We love traveling, live music, helping out our local community and putting a smile on each other’s face. We’ve been evolving together for 3 years and recently got engaged on his birthday. Due to COVID-19 we weren’t able to share the moment with family and friends, but it was a priceless moment between the two of us that I won’t forget.

We are complete opposites: He is an extrovert, I am an introvert; but together our love is a powerful force for uniting, blessing and positively impacting the world. We are creating a legacy filled with strength, unity and unapologetic black love empowerment. 

Sol and Tenci

We met through a mutual friend's music release party. We were both featuring performers, and by the end of the night we were interested in each other. She didn't want to give me her number, but she gave me her facebook and we talked on there for a week until she finally gave her number. We would talk and text all day every day and eventually, I started going and staying over at her place often.

About a month and change after we met, we went to see Oshun in concert and decided to be a couple. We decided to be official because of the natural chemistry, the astrological and numerological near-perfect match that we are, and we had already began to fall in love so...why not? We began learning about healing the world together and that was greatly accelerated when her mom was diagnosed with cancer and we helped/observed what real healing from a spiritual and physical perspective was all about. We read books together, made music together, created a business together...

Created healing-based content and art for that business together, led workshops and currated festivals together, and never once even to this day had a drag-out argument about anything. Our love has grown and continues to grow through our healing.

Yesi and Joshua

Joshua and I met on a photo shoot. I was modeling and he was photographer. He says I caught his eye right away, while it took a little more convincing on my end. We dated for 6 months before he popped the question. Although it took me some time to understand him, the love we have for each other is unquestionable and I thank God everyday for bringing a worthy partner into my life journey.

Chauntelle and Mike

Chauntelle & Mike met during childhood, but didn’t start dating until after undergrad. Post grad life brought them to two different cities, but they maintained their love from a far through a long distance relationship. Careers, the navy, business school, and two different cities couldn’t stop them from pouring into each other’s hearts. This camera will capture the many memories they make together as they settle in Austin. #teamnomorefacetime 

Spread love like fire.

[artificialqueens]

Cruising for a bruising, Part 5 (Branjie) - Q-Tip & TheDane

Authors note: Thank you everyone for your patience, and for keeping up with this crazy story that Q-tip and I are having so much fun writing!

“We co-dependent, a restricted area, an invitation only kinda party and my dick is first, last and fucking second on that guest list”

/

Brooke was a master at damage control, and Vanjie thanked the gods for it. It had saved their asses countless times, mostly because both of them had a problem keeping their hands to themselves in public places.

Vanjie had barely even recovered from her orgasm, still clinging to her boyfriend, before Brooke had pulled up her sweats and detangled them. She calmed Detox down, the other queen relaxing the moment Brooke had explained that they hadn’t touched anyone’s stuff, Brooke effortlessly standing like a shield between Vanjie and everyone else, the tension in the room officially lifting when Silky made a joke about how someone’s stuff had been touched, everyone erupting into laughter.

Vanjie managed to escape somewhat unnoticed, throwing on her caftans and getting back to her makeup table, everyone else still chatting with Brooke on the other end of the room. Everyone except A’keria who was watching her with a smirk, Vanjie seeing the reason the moment she spotted herself in the mirror. Her mouth was a war zone of red and purple, Brooke really going in on the kiss without a care in the world, but most of it was salvageable, her eyes and brows still in place, though her contour had been halfway destroyed by Brooke’s hands on her face.

“Hey.”

Vanjie was blending her foundation as she peeked over her shoulder, spotting Brooke who was standing with a sheepish grin on her face, a disaster of lipstick matching her own, Brooke’s cheeks still dusted with pink. She had changed too, the lilac color of her caftan just as gorgeous as the first time Vanjie had seen it.

“Do you have room for one more?”  

Everyone else was hustling out the doors, all ready and finished. Brooke held up her makeup bag and her mirror, and Vanjie realised that Brooke was asking if they could redo their faces together.

“You sure you’re gonna keep your mess to yourself miss thing?” Vanjie smiled.

“I’ll do my best?”

Vanjie pretended to consider it, gently tapping her brush against her chin. It was a true rarity that she had the upper hand in moments like this. Usually the roles were reversed, Vanjie running around like the confused but enthusiastic puppy needing Brooke’s attention more than she needed air, but if there was one person she could never say no to, it was Brooke.

“Good, cause I don’t want you messing up my shit.”

Brooke laughed, and Vanjie moved aside, Brooke sitting down next to her, instantly moving right up against her, their thighs touching. Brooke caught Vanjie’s foot under the table, hooking their feet together, her hand resting on Vanjie’s hip. They never got ready together, their original unspoken pact of keeping a professional distance in the werk room carrying into their lives off the show so naturally they had never discussed it. In their L.A apartment they each had a drag room, the fact that they needed that space as high on their list as room for Brooke’s cats. Vanjie hoped they could possible get a dog too, though they hadn’t found the perfect one just yet, both of them still traveling so much Brooke was sometimes scared Henry and Apollo would forget who she was all together.

Vanjie drew an invisible line down the center of their table, Brooke’s eyes following her finger.

“That’s your side Mami.”

Brooke snorted. “Sure.”

“Here.” Vanjie handed Brooke a makeup wipe, her boyfriend taking it and wiping her chin, Brooke’s palm covered in red from holding her face in place, Vanjie’s cock twitching.

She talked about it loud and proud, Vanjie happily proclaiming to the world how strong Brooke was, sometimes even semi stalking Brooke at the gym to take video of her to brag online, but few knew how fucking hot she found it that Brooke was stronger than her. Vanjie almost lost her breath sometimes at how easily Brooke could pick her up and throw her around, hold her above her head or press her against a wall.

Vanjie grabbed an extra wipe, taking Brooke’s hand and rubbing the lipstick off. She rarely got to be so close at this stage in the process, Brooke peeking into Vanjie’s mirror to make sure the last of her ruined makeup was gone before she plugged her own in, the light turning on. Vanjie picked up her beautyblender, quickly going in with her heaviest duty dermablend, the high temperatures on the cruise making it even more of a struggle to make sure a mug stayed on. Brooke was painting too, her boyfriend touching up with Krylon instead.

“This is nice.”

“Real nice.”

Vanjie pushed one of Brooke’s lipsticks back, her things already migrating past the invisible line.

Brooke had been nominated as the messiest queen with a unanimous vote from the season 11 sisters, and Vanjie would have to agree, though Brooke would defend herself all the way to her grave. Brock was normally fine, her boyfriend never bringing enough stuff to truly get messy, but Brooke had a way of exploding everywhere.

They had brickered about what makeup belonged to who more times than Vanjie could count whenever they were forced to share space to get into drag. It was the reality of a drag queen’s life that you sometimes get ready in sketchy bathrooms or half broken toilets, which was also why they always tried to avoid working with each other on individual bookings. Vanjie more often than not feeling like she was playing some sick form of memory cards when she was once again sat with two almost identical bottles of pros-aide, trying to decipher from the washed out labels if it belonged to Brooke or to her.

“Just don’t make a habit of coming here.” Vanjie looked at Brooke, a smile playing on her face as she pushed Brooke’s makeup with her hand, Brooke’s stuff already inching her side of the table. “I ain’t got time for your messy ass on the regular.”

Brooke laughed, pressing a quick kiss against Vanjie’s temple. “I love you too.”

/

Detox was sure she was going to crack a rib, everyone singing along to “Drag is magic”, Nina somehow managing to make a show with kids music not only entertaining but straight up hilarious as she pranced around on the stage, wearing a giant dinosaur costume and shaking her tail to the chorus.

Brooke was dancing too, her movements most of all looking like a noodle that was waved around in the air. Detox hadn’t expected to have anywhere near this much fun on the cruise, yesterday’s water fight and today’s wardrobe spectacle something she had tucked away in the most secret parts of her heart for a rainy day and when drag wasn’t fun at all.

Detox had known Brooke for years, and considered her a friend, a fierce and formidable but also incredibly uptight friend. Detox used to see it as her duty to loosen Brooke up, to introduce her to the fun sides of life, to make sure Brooke also remembered that life was more than competitions and being the best.

Normally Detox would be doing her all to get Brooke drunk and find her some trade, to make sure she was having fun, but as she watched Brooke hoist Vanjie up, settling the smaller queen on her shoulders so Vanjie could see everything, Detox realised Brooke didn’t need her for that anymore. She had Vanjie now, and probably a dinosaur costume in her near future, if the screams of delight coming from Vanjie were anything to believe.

/

“You ready for the stage?”

Brooke looked at Vanjie one last time, his boyfriend a vision in gold. They were sitting backstage, Vanjie going over her cue cards one last time. They had eaten a late lunch, Brooke hitting the gym with Kameron while Vanjie had just taken a short nap in full face. Brooke coming back to their room, gently waking Vanjie with a can of red bull, his boyfriend already bouncing off the walls once again.

“I was born ready.”

Brooke had to agree. He had never met anyone so effortlessly fun, and though Brooke would rather dance an entire performance en pointe without toe nails, he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Vanjie would kill the afternoons entertainment. There were only minutes until the clock struck 10, and one of the most anticipated events of the cruise was about to take off. The Vanessa Vanjie Mateo quiz sold out in minutes the moment the tickets went online. Originally, Brooke had not believed his ears when Vanjie had pitched him the idea, her Silky and A’keria jotting down the outline of it in a single afternoon filled with wine and Chinese food while Brooke had been in Toronto.

“You look it.” Brooke smirked, grabbing Vanjie’s hips and pulling her in. “You always look like perfection.”

“Awh.” Vanjie smiled, running her cards down Brooke’s face. “I think you’re full of it Mama.”

“But is it working?”

“A little too well bitch.” Vanjie leaned down, kissing Brooke, her hand twisted into Brooke’s leather jacket. “You better be keeping those ears open cause I expect you to be the winner of tonight, you hear?”

“We’ll see.”

“Vanjie!” They both looked up, Brooke blushing as one of the stage techs showed their face. There had to be something in the water, or maybe it was just the climate, but Brooke felt unable to keep his hands to himself. “You’re needed!”

“Yes ma’am!” Vanjie threw a thumbs up in the direction of the sound guy, a last smile playing on her lips as she looked at Brooke.

“Gimme kiss?”

Brooke tugged on the gold tassels of Vanjie’s dress, the two of them kissing one last time. “Can’t wait to watch you.”

“You better.” Vanjie laughed, and Brooke released her, the crowds cheer filling his ears before he even truly realised that she was gone.

/

“Holla’ in the house!” Vanjie slapped her microphone, laughing loudly when the audience jumped. “It’s Miss Vanjie Vanjie Vanjie bitch and tonight, TONIGHT, we’re playing a little game. Y’all always creeping and peeping up in my DM’s and my Twitter, but not today Mary, oh no today I!-” Vanjie pointed at herself. “Vanessa Vanjie Mateo gets something!” Vanjie smiled brightly. “In my hand I have a stack of super secret crazy kooky ninja level questions about me and Brooke Lynn’s personal business.”

The crowd cheered, and Vanjie would have stopped, but she was already on a role.

“The rules are real fucking simple. You guys get it right, I take a shot! B-U-T, if you hos get it wrong, y’all have to drink and pay me a dollar. Why you ask? Cause it takes a lot of money to look this expensive, and I wanna take my boo on a proper resort vacation experience, okay? We talking little umbrellas in the drinks and a private beach so I can oogle his junk like I damn well please. We all comprende?! Good! Cause here comes the first question!”

/

Watching Vanjie on stage was an experience like no other, and Brooke always enjoyed it more than he could put into words. He had tried to explain to once, to explain how brilliant Vanjie was, but even then it had come off jumbled and crooked, not at all justifying the intense pride, warmth and love Brooke felt in his chest whenever he saw Vanjie in her element.

Tonight however, he saw a Vanjie who was rapidly getting more and more drunk as she tossed back shot after shot, her estimation of the stalking capacities of the gays aboard the ship clearly not calculated correctly. Brooke had originally sat on the edge of the front row, laughing along and waving when it was required, making sure that Vanjie could easily spot him if needed, but right now it seemed like Vanjie needed a water, more than she needed anything else.

The crowd laughed, Vanjie taking another shot and Brooke stood up, making a quick line for the bar, brushing past Nina, Raja and Cracker who had all volunteered to distribute shots to the guests.

“Can I have a water?” Brooke grabbed his phone, quickly filming Vanjie who was loudly quizzing a fan on the lyrics to her track “I’m Vanjie.”

“Sure thing stranger.“ Brooke looked up, the voice weirdly familiar, and that’s when he realised that he knew the bartender, the blonde hair and striped t-shirt giving it away at once.

“Justin? Hi!”

/

“Woop!” Vanjie drank her shot. “I didn’t expect y’all hos to be so goddamned clever. This whole thing is blowing up in my face in record speed!” Vanjie laughed.

Vanjie had no idea why she had never done this before, the firing back and forth with the audience making her feel like a regular Alex fucking Trebek. She was losing miserably, but this was still easily the most fun she had had at a gig in a long time when she wasn’t dancing.

Vanjie switched to her next card, a giant smile breaking out on her face. “Alright homos, here comes a hard one.” The room spinning slightly but this was one of her favorite questions of the night, a bonus round she had spent extra time on to make sure she would earn at least a few coins. “What’s the original name, and yes you heard me correctly, of the ballet where my boo thang himself, Brooke Lynn Hytes, was cast as the part of death at the Cape Town City Ballet?”

Vanjie’s eyes swept the room. She couldn’t see Brooke, but she knew she had to be out there somewhere.

“I’m real proud cause I went to the trouble of googling this shit myself. Full Nancy Drew mama, I even got myself a reddit profile and shit so y’all can hit me up on there too, and I did it all on pacific ocean wifi, so you KNOW it’s true love.”

There wasn’t not exactly silence at the question, but there certainly wasn’t any correct answers either. Vanjie heard Copp��lia and even Dance Macabre, that fairly enough did show up if you googled ballets with death.

“Still no correct guesses?” Vanjie smiled. “I thought you freaks were all up in his life story, creeping and shit.”

“Is it La Bayadére?”

“Wrong! Also that ain’t dutch my dude, that’s a french name if I ever heard one, but dotcha’ all worry, I’mma be a good judy and let you name the english version!”

Someone shouted Swan Lake from the bar and Vanjie was getting ready to enjoy her victory rain of dollars, when she noticed who else was sitting at the bar, Brooke not even looking at her, his back turned to the stage as he talked to the bartender. The same bartender that he spoke to the day before, fucking Justin smiling at Brooke like he was the most amazing thing that had ever ordered a drink.

“Anyone here knows the english version?!” Vanjie yelled, raising her voice but Brooke didn’t even flinch, didn’t even move . He just stood there, the back of his head looking like he was having the time of his life.

“It’s fucking Vier Litl…” Vanjie looked at her card. “Vier Letzte Lieder! Everybody! Fill your glass and take a shot.

Everyone was raising their glasses, but all Vanjie could see was Brooke not paying attention to her.

“Yo! Brooke Lynn Hytes!” Vanjie was nearly screaming, but Brooke finally finally turned around, his eyes wide, her microphone nearly redundant at this point. “You know I’m the greatest good you ever gonna get, so you best pay attention boy!”

Brooke lifted his beer, a smile on his face like Vanjie wasn’t funny, like it was all a joke, and Vanjie was burning, anger swirling with the tequila in her stomach. Brooke’s face was not at all like she had imagined when she had written the question, the affection and admiration she had so hoped for now amusement like she was some animal in the zoo Brooke found fun to have around.

Usually when Brooke attended her shows, he was all but rolling on the floor in genuine laughter, and here he was, smiling like she was merely amusing. Despite the churning in her gut and her fingers tightening around the poor, abused microphone, Vanjie kept a brave face on, quickly moving along because if there was one thing she was, it was professional above all else.

/

“Alright bitch, I’m ready to leave!” Getting off stage was always the greatest relief, the last of the guests herded out the door by the staff that was now walking around, mopping up the floor and putting chairs back in place. Vanjie had taken a lot longer to get off stage than she normally would, her world spinning, taking her lashes off taking three entire tries, and she had every intention of forcing Brooke to shower with her the moment they got back to their room, her chest already rumbling a little at the pure delight of the idea of Brooke soaping up her body and easing away the pains of corset and heels and way way too many shots.

“Brock! Where you at?” Vanjie stepped out of her shoes, picking them up and putting them in the gym bag she had stolen from Brooke earlier in the day.

“One second!” Vanjie looked for the voice, her stomach dropping completely when she realised Brooke was still sitting at the bar, her boyfriend’s jacket laid over a chair, the beer bottles multiplied from the day before. “I can’t find any paper.”

“Paper? Why the fuck you looking for paper?” Vanjie walked over, her feet hurting with each step she took.

“I just need a moment baby.”

“I have an idea.” Justin smiled, completely ignoring Vanjie as he wrapped his fingers around Brooke’s arm, quickly pushing Brooke’s jacket up, like it was something he was allowed to do, Justin putting the pen in his hand to Brooke’s skin and very clearly writing down a phone number. “There, now you can call me. I’d love to see-”

“Oh, FUCK, no!”

/

It all happened so fast. Vanjie grabbing Brooke’s half empty drink and throwing it in Justin’s face, the liquid splashing everywhere, some of it hitting Brooke as well.

“You think you can look at my man like that?! I’m not some dumb ass ho that can’t see shit!”

Vanjie voice was so loud Brooke swore the entire ship was looking at them, every  staff member still presents stopping dead in their tracks.

“You wanna play games?!” Vanjie threw the glass down, the entire thing shattering against the bar top. “Well let’s fucking play!”

“What the-” Justin wiped his face, the man looking completely shocked, his shirt soaked.

Brooke had seen Vanjie fight before, his boyfriend a ball of emotions, a firecracker that was always ready to go off, but it had never exploded because of him before, and Brooke had a sinking feeling this was all somehow his fault.

“Oh bitch, don’t you try! You’ve been flirting since the moment you saw him! You think we some package deal where you can fuck one of us and we cool? Well guess again! We’re exclusive, bitch! We co-dependent, a restricted area, an invitation only kinda party and my dick is first, last and fucking second on that guest list cause guess what? I can go twice!”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m insane?!” Vanjie grabbed Brooke’s arm, throwing it down on the bar. “Then what the fuck is this?! A number? You don’t do shit like that to another man’s man!! And you!” Vanjie turned to Brooke. “I never should have trusted you.” Vanjie released Brooke, turning on her heels, rushing out of the room before Brooke even had the chance to collect his composure.

“Jose!” Brooke stood up, ready to run after Vanjie. “I- oh fuck!”

Justin looked down, a thick piece of glass peeking out the top of Brooke’s palm, from where he had planted it flat on the counter.

“Shit!” Brooke grabbed his hand, blood already pouring everywhere.