#bro is a senior in graphic design and is like ‘oh yeah i hate it’ WHY ARE YOU MAJORING IN IT. WHY ARE YOU HERE

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

hey yall. what if potential heathers fyolai art post tonight

[cupofsorrows]

3 LOVECRAFT 3 FURIOUS

Howard Lovecraft and the Undersea Kingdom, post 3 of ???

Part 1  Part 2

So we last left things, little Hit Points Lovecraft had just been sent through the Bifrost From Thor to parts unknown, whilst Not-Cthulhu-But-Maybe-Actually-Cthulhu has been trapped in a crystal ball by the eeevil Abdul Alhazred (although if it really is Cthulhu, trapping him seems like heroic behavior to me). What happens next?

I have to say, the movie did sort of seem like it was approaching watchability around that time. I’m going to attribute that to both the appearance of the first professional actors (as opposed to literally just the director’s wife and kids) and the fact that the actual storyline is starting to emerge. When I stopped before, I realized that I wasn’t as far into the film as I had been thinking - probably a result of how many times I kept stopping to make screencaps and stuff. With that in mind, I think I’m going to start watching longer stretches without pausing, then going back to get caps - hopefully that will move things along a bit. But enough stalling, let’s get right back into it!

HowardCraft has been sent to a library at what turns out to be Miskatonic University, where he’s about to meet another important character.

That’s him right there, and although it looks like he’s getting ready to crack Howard on the head, we don’t get so lucky. Oh, but do appreciate Howard’s um, proportions in this shot. Doesn’t he look like his whole body is made of paper?

So, here’s Doctor Henry Armitage.

voiced by MUTHAFUCKIN MARK HAMILL Y’ALL. Actually dial that back a bit, I don’t want to over-promise. Sorry.

...That’s not like being a “Friend of Dorothy”, is it?

“Is he, you know...an ‘Ally of Thu Thu Hmong’?”

Sorry, Harry Potter really has ruined that phrase for me forever.

Also, putting Howard next to even slightly-less-stylized character really highlights what a goblin he is, doesn’t it? I should really stop harping on his appearance because I could go on a tangent for the rest of the night, but what’s up with his eyes? Has that been eyeshadow this whole time? Wait...is he looking at me?? Oh, Shit!

Armitage explains us some things. Now we know Spot-huthu Hmong really IS Cthulhu after all, except he has to be awakened or something. Eh, as twists go I’ve seen worse ones.

“...But then his twin brother Stanley made off with them, and now I’m in a slump.”

This is what Abdul Al-heezy wants to do, for evil. Dr. Armitage wants to do it, but for good(?). No, neither of them have ever seen Gravity Falls.

Also, according to the Actual Official Mythos Lore, Alhazred is the one who first wrote the Necronomicon to begin with, so it’s weird that he needs it from them. Must have lost the rights to it somewhere along the way (I’ve heard publishers can be sneaky like that sometimes).

This is also where the transformation spell from earlier comes in, as Howard is slowly turning into a fish-person.

Yeah, it LOOKS like those are just weird bruises, but they’re totally scales. Trust me.

...Aaand now we’re back with team bad guy. I really only wanted to show this screencap to reiterate that I both hate and love this character design. He looks like an evil doom cultist, but from a cartoon on Nickelodeon circa 2001. That’s who this guy is.

Ah, OK, I was half wrong about this guy. He is none other than Nyarlahotep himself, but still voiced by Doug Bradley.

lol

But, the movie assures us, whatever the plan is it’s certainly dire, as illustrated by the absolute worst movie graphic you’ve ever fucking seen:

Fear not, though, for our heroes are now on their way to rescue...

Howard’s dad, who’s being guarded by...

Shoggoths, which look like this, apparently. Oh and fun fact: remember when I said Ron Perlman was in this movie? Well...

so far, though, all these things have said is “Tekeli-li”. So I guess they just paid this famous actor to say “tekeli-li” a bunch. Fuck, they could have just recorded him saying it once and then just played it back a bunch of times. Still, I can’t be mad at Ron Perlman. He got to mutter literal nonsense into a microphone for like five minutes max (seriously, how much time could it have taken? “Alright, Mr. Perlman, for this next take we want a little less ‘tekeli’ and a little more ‘li’, think you can do that?”) and presumably took home a paycheck afterwards. At worst that’s still a wash.

Decidedly unimpressed with the design, though. I guess the little eyes that seem to randomly appear and disappear across their foreheads are kind of neat but other than that they look like something that would chase Crash Bandicoot around.

Watch out evildoers, Howard has a poward power!

...which destroys these shoggoths, leaving a splatter-on-the-screen effect that I’m sure everyone in the animation department was very proud of (both of them)

They escape with Lovecraft Senior, and his notebook (which is notebook number 2, for those keeping track at home. Notebook number 1 Howard found in the previous movie, it’s the one in his bedroom right now)

DON’T. EVER. FORGET. how terrible this animation is. Don’t let yourself get used to it, either.

Alright, meanwhile, there’s some magic gate and the baddies are trying to get through it:

Kind of loving this guy actually, he’s been nothing but a dick to everybody in every scene so far

Aha, so they didn’t forget about Momcraft after all. Turns out she was being mind-controlled by Abdul because she’s also under a transformation spell and becoming a fish person.

Alright meanwhile AGAIN Armitage is teaching Hovercraft some magic, which he just got done saying was super hard to learn but seems pretty easy in actuality.

bro I dunno where you studied physics but

(also it’s kind of fun that you can sort of recognize Hamill’s voice at times - his voice is very versatile but there’ll be bits and pieces that sound familiar)

EXPERIENCE TRANQUILITY

Suddenly SHOGGOTHS!

They surround our hero...

...but fortunately he cleverly dives out of the way, causing them to crash into each other. Well, it’s good to know they’re vulnerable to Looney Tunes tactics.

Abruptly, Dr. Armitage decides that after one afternoon they’ve probably done all the training they need to and should be ready to take on a powerful evil sorcerer and his friend from beyond time.

Look out Abdul, here come a small child, a librarian, and a crazy person!

TO BE CONTINUED... (sorry, these end up taking a real long time to make)

...HERE