#bro i swear i am not anomaly why you hunt down me

[imwatchingyo]

GOI headcanons #2 - Global Occult Coalition

@finiffy @loquaciousnewt

[thelostcatpodcast]

THE LOST CAT PODCAST TRANSCRIPTS: SEASON 3: EPISODE 08: THE PERFECTLY ORDINARY DAY

SEASON 3: EPISODE 08: THE PERFECTLY ORDINARY DAY Episode released 21st May 2017 http://thelostcat.libsyn.com/season-3-episode-8-the-perfectly-ordinary-day

all songs in this episode written and performed by A P Clarke, EJ Lee and C Collins

I woke up and it was a day very much like any other day. I was a little foggy in the head, and my cat was lost. I swear, I am never going to find it. But, still: I had some coffee and I went out to look for my cat

THE LOST CAT PODCAST SEASON 3, BY A P CLARKE, EPISODE 8, THE PERFECTLY ORDINARY DAY

AP: So I was walking along the road of my weird old town, just as normal, and I saw a dog amble past me that I did not recognise from the neighborhood. And it was all jolly about its business as it bounded off towards the park. But where it had come from, there was a strange shimmering in the air, bounded by bright colours and, just on the egde of my hearing, I could swear, an odd beeping noise.

<Faint beeping noise>

And I could feel my spirit rising. I could feel the fog lifting and the confusion melting away. I felt so strange. I felt... like singing...

<music starts 'Weird Old Town'> This weird old town this broken down old town From the top of the mound, to underneath the ground I’ve been going around and around and around,

This weird old town This broken down old town And of all of the things that I have found In this old town:

I know the patterns of the paving stones I don’t even trip on one. You learn not to step on any cracks, as it will crush the flowers coming through.

I don’t know why I feel so great on this perfectly ordinary day But this old town is my old town and I am here to stay

<muffled beeping sound> <talking> There! that weird old sound can you hear it? never mind its time for the next verse:

This weird old town this broken down old town I been beaten and been butchered and pushed around But I’m not going down

I know where I am by the leviathan I can read the writing on the dark cloud There are gods and monsters round every corner and all of it is real

I don’t know why I feel so great on this perfectly ordinary day But this old town is my old town and I am here to stay

<muffled beeping sound> But what’s that sound? It's so vague and undefined like a half remembered dream I feel like I am fading...

<beeping sound become clearer> <voice begins fading out>

what is that sound... it's so annoying... I feel like I am fading... what is that sound...

<voice fades out completely> <beeping sound resolves into the sound of an alarm clock> <the alarm is turned off>

EJ: I turned off my alarm and I woke up. I was feeling bright and refreshed and my dog was gone again. I swear he does this every week! And I always get into crazy adventures when I try to find him! So I had some herbal tea, and I went out to look for my dog.

THE LOST DOG PODCAST SEASON 3 BY EJ LEE, EPISODE 8 THE PERFECTLY ORDINARY DAY

<music starts 'In My Town'> In my town friends are always around Good morning neighborhood, how are you today? on the streets, sidewalks under my feet Waving hello to the postman on my way

Downtown to look for my dog I wonder what adventure he's leading me on But I know no matter what it will always be OK it's just another perfectly ordinary day.

I could sing everyone is dancing We're all in unison the moves really slay Join in too, as best as I do Before moving on, my dog wants to play

Down the hill to look for my dog I wonder what adventure he's leading me on But I know no matter what it will always be OK it's just another perfectly ordinary day.

Through the park, but I can't hear his bark I bet he's in the square chasing birds away what's the hole, over by the flagpole Swirling colors and light that don't seem to fit.

I feel scared, this reality's teared But I bet my dog went through this new way

Through the anomaly to look for my dog I wonder what adventure he's leading me on But I know no matter what it will always be OK it's just another perfectly ordinary day.

<the whooshing sound effect of the anomaly grows>

right then, let's go through!

<the anomaly sound effect whooshes to a crescendo as EJ goes through>

<talking> And on the other side of the anomaly I looked around. Something seemed off, but I saw a  dog nearby and I asked them if they knew where my dog was. But the dog just ran away. It didn't even say goodbye. And then I looked around and realised this world was very strange indeed What the heck is this place?

<music starts 'I don't understand this world i'm in'> Why is no-one even singing? Why is no-one even dancing? Why is the sun not shining? I don't understand this world i'm in, this world i'm in.

I don't understand this world I'm in Why can't the animals even sing? Why is nobody happy, why are people on fire? I don't understand this world I'm in

There are no rainbows only rain There's rats the size of cats in drains There's scary statues everywhere There's something trying to bite me

There's no color only grey and drab There's sentient sad pavement slabs Spiders hunting up higher Birds are losing the will to fly

I don't understand this world I'm in Why can't the animals even sing? No-one is happy, why are people on fire? I don't understand this world I'm in

<talking> And then I saw this strange dude and I swear he was just like someone right out of my dreams. I think he was looking for a cat. I went up to him and I said "Hey there."

AP: Uhh, hey there back. Umm, who are you?

EJ:  He seemed nice, if a little scruffy. I wondered if he could help me find my dog.

AP: Umm, hey, hold on. I'm the one who does the narration round here, yeah?

EJ: No, this is my podcast: The Lost Dog Podcast.

AP: This is The Lost Cat Podcast.

EJ: You're just a character I meet on my latest wacky adventure.

AP: I am writing you.

EJ: You are seriously strange.

AP: who do you think you are?

EJ: Who do you think you are?

<music starts 'Who Are You?>Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

AP: You're a reflection in the water left behind When I am gone you disappear, just an image in my mind

EJ: Who are you? You'r the shadow on the wall of a cave tangible as rising smoke. With the fire, you will fade

AP+EJ: Who is really real, really? Is my voice just reverberations of your clanging of the bell? A character in a story that someone else will tell? Who is really real? Who is really real, really?

AP: Now they start to ask the question: maybe they are not real EJ: maybe I am not the one who is the teller of the tale EJ: Hey! You didn't make me feel that, now I see him doubt himself AP: maybe I am not the one who is the teller of this tale

We each wonder how to tell if we are real or dream I am real, or am I real? And just what does this mean?

AP+EJ:Who is really real, really? Am I the glowing moon above? or the rays thrown by the sun? Who is really real? Who is really real, really?

EJ: The music starts to fade, is my world slipping away? This existential crisis has me questioning everything. What proof could I possibly bring? That my life isn't also a dream? Capable of ending at the beep of someone else's alarm The clock gets reset, my world comes to an end I can't wrap myself around this, how are you staying so calm? I'm lost in this cold grey city and so is my dog i've never been so sad and lonely and there's no-one else around me who can even understand what I try to express I can't seem to connect but I refuse to accept That I am someone else's echo in this world that I didn't expect On this perfectly ordinary day I woke up this morning on a perfectly ordinary day.

EJ: Oh, this was awful. I felt terrible. I was never going to find my dog and everything could only end badly. I felt so lost and confused.

AP: And with that, I knew where EJ was coming from. And suddenly I knew how I could help...

EJ: Dude, i'm right here.

AP: EJ came from a world where everybody sang. There was music everywhere, and everything was great. But now EJ was in this world, where things were... different.

EJ: Seriously I am right in front of you.

AP: And I knew how I could help. I brought out a bottle of wine.

EJ: Yeah I know, I can see it, but you carry on.

AP: And I poured two glasses and I passed one to EJ.

EJ: And the offer felt... true. There was comfort in it. And so together we drank a large glass of wine.

<music starts 'Solace In The Darkness'> When you think you can not go on When the night has gone on too long The weight is too heavy, there are far too many Or you feel there is no one at all

When the ties are tied far too tight when the ties that bind are untied. The forces outside, and the pressures inside They'll crush you like you’re nothing at all

There is no light that can dispel this darkness No ladder we can climb from this hell. But I’ll sit with you and offer a glass and some solace in the darkness as well.

Don't worry, it's far worse than you think Don't worry, all your fears will come true The quest finally done, the prize so hard won and it wasn't worth it at all.

When the distance is measured in years and you are lost in the space between stars You think you're alone, well you are all alone with all of us lonely old souls down here as well.

There is no light that can dispel this darkness No ladder we can climb from this hell. But I’ll sit with you and offer a glass and some solace in the darkness as well.

But I’ll sit with you and offer a glass and some solace in the darkness as well.

EJ: And something about the song gave me an idea.

AP: I also was having an idea at this time, I should say.

EJ: Yeah, OK. You see: my dog was a part of my world, and so full of life and singing and so, the further away from my dog we are, the sadder we will be, but as we get closer, the songs will get happier. All we need to do is sing a song and follow the happy tune.

AP: This actually sounds exactly  like the idea I was just having! It just might work!

EJ: It's worth a try.

AP: And so we set out to test our idea... that we had both had.

EJ: Yeah sure, bro. Let's go!

<music starts 'To Find A Dog'> Singing a song, to find a dog If we follow this happy tune we'll find him easily This makes complete sense and it's totally normal On this: a perfectly ordinary day.

Oh no, this doesn't feel right I think we've taken a wrong turning I feel like everything is gonna go bad Do not look at the statues let's move on

Let's head downhill from the Lightning Tree I can feeling my heart lifting my pace is quickening Everything is going to be OK

And as we turn towards The Weeping Park it makes me suddenly introspective. Like 'who is real?', and 'what is the point?' It's a sobering perspective.

But this is the right way, I can feel it in the air Come on let's go. Everything is going to be OK

Oh no, I think we've gone wrong there's no hope at all We're never gonna find my dog And the dark cloud hangs so heavy over us all

Hey did you hear a bark from over the hill? Did you see a tail wagging behind those trees? We're so close I can feel it in my heart Come on let's run I can see him now

Everything is going to be OK EJ: There's my dog AP: There's your dog EJ & AP: We found the dog OK Everything is going to be a OK On this: a perfectly ordinary day.

EJ: hey there, dog! How're you doing, dog?

<music starts 'I'm A Dog'>

Ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff!

A dog. Yes, I am a dog. I'm so happy, that you found me. Yes, I am a dog.

A cat? Yes, I met a cat. Although not a hound, a friend I found. Yes, I met a cat.

A dog. Yes, I am a dog. I'm ready to leave. Yes, I am, ready, please, let's go, please, yes, I am A dog.

Woof!

EJ: We found my dog!

AP: That is one hell of a dog you have there.

EJ: Hey, thanks for helping me AP.

AP: That is the least I could do. I am glad I could help.

EJ: And I'm sorry I called you scruffy.

AP: Well, I am.

EJ: This turned out to be a really amazing adventure after all! And you know what, I kind of feel like singing again! 1,2,3,4...

<Music starts 'My Town (reprise)'>

Hey there dog, so glad that I came along On this adventure you brought me on today With this cool guy and we drank some wine But now it's time to go back to our reality

through the anomaly back to our world See you around you weird old world Check out my podcast for adventures like today on this: a perfectly ordinary day

<the whooshing sound effect of the anomaly grows>

Ok, we're going through now. See you! Hope you find your cat!

<the anomaly sound effect whooshes to a crescendo as EJ goes through>

AP: And that was that. The distortions calmed down. The colours faded. The anomaly closed. And my town, my weird wonderful broken-down old town went back to normal. I went back home, keeping my head down, of course, but with a spring in my step and a tune on my lips, happy that I had helped EJ find their dog. And their podcast sounded cool too. And I got home to my small room without my cat and went to bed, and had another glass of wine.

THIS HAS BEEN THE EIGHTH EPISODE OF THE LOST CAT PODCAST, SEASON 3, TITLED 'THE PERFECTLY ORDINARY DAY', WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY A P CLARKE, EJ LEE AND C COLLINS. COPYRIGHT 2017.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.

Links

thelostcat.libsyn.com

twitter.com/LostCatPod

thelostcatpodcast.tumblr.com

facebook.com/lostcatpodcast

soundcloud.com/a-p-clarke/sets/the-lost-cat-podcast

apclarke.bandcamp.com/releases

Also: EJs band, Candy Cane: https://candycane.bandcamp.com/album/candy-cane-2 Wiiging Out Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wiiging-out/id1182822098