#bro i also have a powerpoint and essay for an entirely DIFFERENT class

[shummthechumm]

like there was 5 straight chapters fantastically written//translated philosophical debates about humanity being inherently set for destruction. and whether our advancements towards controlling the inevitable really do anything to benefit us. and suddenly second to last chapter LASER FIGHTS!! ROBOT HIBERNATION CHAMBERS!!! MATRIX!! CHASING JESUS THROUGH INTERGALATIC TRAVEL!!

reading through 10 Billion Days & 100 Billion Nights for a class and got to the part where cyborg buddha and jesus have a laser shootout with a prepubescent demigod

[craftypeaceturtle]

Distanced, part 1

Summary: A group chat fic! How shall these useless students cope with daily life.

Note: This is my first attempt at anything even remotely like this! I have no idea how this will turn out so feedback is greatly appreciated! Intrulogical. 

Next part here!!

.

MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:15

Hello. This is Logan Sanders from Prof. Smith’s seminar. Do you have any suggestions for how we should go about completing the upcoming assessment?

Remus Prince: who dis

I literally just stated it. Logan Sanders.

I wear the tie.

Remus Prince: OHHH

Remus Prince: Well 1stly

Remus Prince: What’s the best planet in the solar system?

Pardon?

Remus Prince: i LitERaLlY JuSt stAtED iT

That has nothing to do with anything, we just need to get through this project.

Remus Prince: if u want to work then u have to answer

Jupiter. 

Remus Prince: cool.

Remus Prince: You’ll do.

Remus Prince: My name is Remus.

I know. We did actually swap phone numbers. We in fact discussed which topic we would be doing for over fifteen minutes in the seminar. So we have indeed met. If you continue to be obnoxious then this will be a easier project. 

.

MESSAGES: To Remus Sanders (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:22

Why did you ask that question?

 Remus Prince: I asked my brother that question and he answered earth

Remus Prince: I’ve had trust issues ever since

Roman’s favourite planet is Earth? 

 Remus Prince: HAH

Remus Prince: ye he’s an idiot

Remus Prince: I’ve gotta test everyone now.

Remus Prince: You passed btw

Remus Prince: WAIT!

Remus Prince: Do u know Ro?

Yes, he is my friend and roommate. 

Remus Prince: What was ur name again????????

You can literally scroll up and reread it. I refuse. You got into university for a reason and so you can manage my name.

Remus Prince: jk

Okay then. Do you want to discuss how we should go about creating this powerpoint?

Remus Prince: what’s there to ‘discuss’?

We can separately conduct our research however it is regrettably better to meet up in person to practise not only giving the presentation but also the construction of the presentation itself.

Remus Prince: man you just love sending essays huh

I have written out longer messages. I don’t understand the point of sending a sentence at a time and risk getting interrupted. Plus at least my texting doesn’t seem all like an assault of constant notifications. 

Remus Prince: fair

Shall we say that we should aim to get our presentation research finished by two weeks (15th). That leaves us another two weeks to construct the powerpoint, gather more research if necessary, then practise presenting. 

Remus Prince: k

GROUPCHAT: Goths, Emos, and Remus

Tuesday, 16:26

Octopussy: can I vent for a sec

Octopussy: So! I’m just sitting here. Y’know. Vibing. 

Octopussy: Then out of nowhere the nerd from my class starts messaging me about the group project that’s due a month away

Octopussy: like wtf

Octopussy: nice to know the nerd thing isn’t just appearance

Vigilant: help

Octopussy: he made a big deal about meeting up as well to do this!

Octopussy: No one in the class even cares!

Octopussy: No one is even remotely

Octopussy: Not even close

Octopussy: To thinking about that project right now!

Octopussy: We’ve got ages!

Vigilant: oh sweet jesus

Octopussy: Like! We’ve got a month!

Octopussy: AN ENTIRE MONTH

Octopussy: Like he also wants to meet up as well to practise

Octopus: Like ew.

Top-Hat-Gay: Are you done?

Octopussy: ye

Octopussy: he’s a dick

Vigilant: oh thank god

Top-Hat-Gay: Ha, as if you believe in god.

Vigilant: If it stops Re from not spamming us then I’ll believe whatever. 

Octopussy: rude

Vigilant: bitch

Top-Hat-Gay: On an actually important note, which one of you last used my nail bag?

Octopussy: me!

Octopussy: you need more green 

Top-Hat-Gay: No I fucking don’t!

Top-Hat-Gay: There was an entirely new bottle in there!

Octopussy: I said what I said.

Top-Hat-Gay: I hate you. 

Octopussy: Thank bby

Octopussy: ALSO!

Octopussy: I found out the nerd also lives with Ro.

Top-Hat-Gay: So?

Vigilant: hE’S FORBIDDEN

Top-Hat-Gay: Wait so the nerd is Logan?

Octopussy: He is!

Octopussy: not that it seems to be having any effect on Ro. he’s as dense as a brick.

Top-Hat-Gay: I saw him today going into Remy’s. 

Vigilant: Why are we even talking about him

Vigilant: Like who gives a shit.

Octopussy: dunno

Octopussy: just thought it was weird

Top-Hat-Gay: Maybe you should switch partners. Especially if he wants to meet up at some point.

Octopussy: nah

Octopussy: not worth it

Top-Hat-Gay: A teacher wouldn’t care. They only want to see good grades. They won’t mind moving stuff around for you.

Octopussy: He seems harmless. 

Vigilant: you literally called him a dick after one conversation.

Octopussy: he is a dick

Octopussy: he seems stuffy but just a nerd through and through. He’s not going to be a prick or anything.

Vigilant: This isn’t really about him. He already got you talking about you know who in your first ever conversation. Maybe you shouldn’t hang around him.

Octopussy: I just thought it was interesting

Octopussy: It doesn’t mean jack shit

Octopussy: Not everything I talk about has some grand meaning.

Octopussy: I just thought it was weird that this nerd I share my classes with also lives with my bro. 

Top-Hat-Gay: And that’s perfectly fine Re.

Octopussy: soz V

Octopussy: didn’t mean to blow up in your face

Octopussy: just annoying to feel psycho-analysed 

Vigilant: soz

Octopussy: okay! 

Octopussy: that’s proof enough!

Octopussy: we can behave to each other so ice cream plz!!!!!!!!!!!

Top-Hat-Gay: JESUS CHRIST I SAID THAT AS A JOKE LAST YEAR

Octopussy: I will eat V’s posters unless you give us reward good boy icecream

Vigilant: chocolate pls

Top-Hat-Gay: jesus do you lot know how long it takes for me to put on my cape to go shopping

Vigilant: yes

Vigilant: we are precisely aware of exactly how long it takes

Vigilant: that’s why we don’t go shopping with you

GROUPCHAT: THE FAM ILY

Tuesday, 16:38

Pat-on-the-back: Heya guys, are we all in for dinner tonight?

Logan.S: I am.

YourHopesandDreams: I will be in at 7. If you could be so compassionate to push your meal back until then, I would be truly indebted to you.

Pat-on-the-back:  Fine by me!

Logan.S: I am agreeable.

Pat-on-the-back: Also Lo! Are you finished with your work?

Logan.S: I have finished my to-do list so I am available if I’m needed. 

Pat-on-the-back: No, you’re all good! I just wanted to check. It sounded like you were doing work for like four hours straight.

Logan.S: It took three hours thank you very much. 

Logan.S: So what are we doing for dinner?

Pat-on-the-back: I was thinking lasagne! 

Pat-on-the-back: also! Don’t think I’ll notice that change in topic!

Pat-on-the-back: I thought we all agreed on two hour stretches of work with a 15 min break at least. I mean... it’s even written on our calendar! There’s no way you forgot, did you Mister! 

Logan.S: It’s fine Pat.

Logan.S: Just let it go

Logan.S: I needed to get it done

Logan.S: I don’t need to be babied. 

Logan.S: I’m taking a break now. I’m okay.

Pat-on-the-back: I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure. As long as you feel okay then everything’s alright! How was your work anyway?

Logan.S: Fairly ordinary actually. I had to go through some of my notes and rewrite a couple of pages then I had to organise a group project due the 2nd of March. 

Pat-on-the-back: Sounds productive!

Logan.S: Thank you.

YourHopesandDreams: Ew. Group project. Who’s your partner?

Logan.S: We are in entirely different courses, why do you think you would know them?

YourHopesandDreams: Everyone knows the drama students know everyone. 

Logan.S: I’m working with Remus.

YourHopesandDreams: You should ask to swap partners. 

Logan.S: I won’t do so unless I have a genuine reason. I’ve not had any interactions with him previously and while he did seem half-hearted and obnoxious in his messages, he seems harmless. If he messes everything around then I will but I won’t make a fuss unless I have reason to.

Pat-on-the-back: That’s fair but please make sure to tell us if he pulls anything.

YourHopesandDreams: Your loss. 

.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:02

hey u awake

Nerd: What on earth are you doing up at 3am? 

Oh

Soz

Wrong number.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:12

Nerd: What is your favourite planet?

wha

Nerd: I figured it would be fair to ask your test to you. For all I know you could be as uncultured as your brother.

can we not talk about him

I dunno really

I wanna say pluto because they deserve it

but I kinda like saturn best.

Nerd: Any reason why?

Just kinda interesting

Big, lots a moons, ring. 

It’s just a cool planet. 

Nerd: Fair enough.

Do you have a reason to like jupiter?

Nerd: If I’m being honest, my science teacher absolutely adored Jupiter. I don’t know why but that memory of him ranting about how cool it was just really stuck with me. I was only about 8 years old. But I found myself agreeing with him. Back then my fascination was a lot more childish. I thought it was fascinating that since Jupiter was a gas planet it hadn’t been blown away yet. I grew up from that view but the interest never left.

ew that was almost cute.

Nerd: I concur that was very unprofessional.

WAIT

WAIT

HOLD ON

Why hasn’t Jupiter blown away!?!?!?!?!??

Nerd: Excuse me?

8YR OLD YOU IS A GENUIS 

Nerd: There’s no atmosphere in space!

But there’s pressure and junk isn’t there? 

Nerd: The pressure is pulling the mass into the centre which keeps the planet whole.

Do you think we could step on Jupiter?

Nerd: I don’t know.

I thought you knew space!

Nerd: I do biology! To get into a biology degree, I did a bunch of biology based subjects! Why would I know anything about space?

I dunno.

I guess if you look like a nerd people just presume.

Nerd: I’ve personally found it’s the confidence. If you act confident enough then everyone presumes you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re in control, no matter how out of place you look. 

I’ll drink to that!

Wait, in what situation would you have learnt this!?!

Nerd: I have a bad habit of accidentally going to the wrong class and just going along with it rather than anything else. Although I should say I did fantastic in that architectural history class. But this habit has caused some awkward situations. I have also impersonated a store manager to explain why me and my friend were there when really he ran into the warehouse searching for a kitten. 

HAH

That’s brilliant

Using your nerdy powers to overthrow society.

Does this mean you’re a liar?

Nerd: I call it ‘managing life’. 

HAH

Sounds about right.

Why are you awake at this time?

Nerd: I could ask you that.

[notapaladin]

when i kissed the teacher

“back on my obsblood bullshit” i say, as though i ever actually left. ANYWAY. Teomitl is your averagy student, taking an Overview of the Aztec Empire course for much-needed credits. Unfortunately, Professor Acatl is distractingly hot. He’s probably out of Teomitl’s reach, but when has that ever stopped him? (Never. It’s never stopped him.)

There’s porn in this! As always, it can also be read on AO3.

-

Jaguar Bro: I’m dead

Jaguar Bro: this is how I die

Jaguar Bro: Local Man, 18, Found Dead On University Campus

Holder of the One Braincell: what is it now

Snacts (snake facts): have line of sight, can confirm he’s dying

Snacts (snake facts): ooh, a double facepalm!

**Jaguar Bro has sent aHHHHHHHHHHHHH.png**

Jaguar Bro: Gaze upon the agent of my demise. Overview of the Aztec Empire professor.

Snacts (snake facts): damn

Snacts (snake facts): is it too late to sign up for that course??

Holder of the One Braincell: .

Holder of the One Braincell: nope

Holder of the One Braincell: nope

Holder of the One Braincell: nope nope nope nOPE

Holder of the One Braincell: THAT IS MY BROTHER

Snacts (snake facts): congrats mihm your brother can get it

Holder of the One Braincell: asdfghgFFGHGFGHJK

& &

Teomitl was definitely going to die. Right here, right now, in the middle of his Overview of the Aztec Empire lecture. They would find his corpse later and Mihmatini would laugh at him. At least it was a crowded lecture hall; between that and the air conditioner having been stuck at subzero for the past hour, he could be assured that nobody was actually in the mood to notice the state he was in. He shut his eyes as though it would help.

Nope. He could still hear him. Virgin Mary, Mother of God.

Professor Acatl’s voice caressed his ears, making him shiver no matter how deeply he tried to burrow into his hoodie. “...believed to have arrived in the Valley of Mexico in roughly 1250 AD…” History wasn’t his strong point, but with a voice like that—warm, resonant, clearly and utterly in love with the subject matter—he didn’t care. He could listen to Acatl read the phone book and be happy, never mind something the man was actually passionate about. And when it came to Nahuatl, where the professor’s voice took on the steady assurance of a man speaking his mother tongue...

The white girl on his left poked his arm. Heedless of his glare—he’d been occupied, damn it—she hissed, “You got a pencil?”

He blinked at her. Who uses a notebook and pencils? In this decade? Really? It took a minute of blind rummaging in his laptop bag to produce a pen, and that was after pulling out and discarding two spare flash drives and a folding knife. She flashed him a tired smile and a grateful thumbs’-up; if Acatl hadn’t been at the front of the room, he’d have offered more than a nod in response. She was cute, if not exactly his usual type.

Acatl was gesturing at the next slide in his powerpoint presentation, and he made himself actually pay attention this time. He definitely wasn’t going to impress him by visibly zoning out in the middle of class. Not for the first time, he was glad he’d picked a seat three rows back and to the left; if he’d been in the front row, there would have been trouble. He took notes on autopilot, eyes on Acatl instead of his laptop screen. He could fix typos later, when he wasn’t watching Acatl move. The man was gorgeous, all long limbs and shining eyes. Sure, the entirely monochrome suit was a little old-fashioned—he even wore a tie most days, though the knot was invariably crooked in a way that made Teomitl ache to fix it for him—but the ponytail wasn’t. He’d spent a lot of time fantasizing about running his fingers through all that wavy hair.

As well as...other things. Peeling that suit jacket off, yanking that collar aside to bite his pretty throat, being pressed back against the desk and hearing that voice turn heavy as Acatl breathed, “I’m sure there’s something we can do about those grades…” (Never mind that, a month into the semester, he was comfortably staring down at least an A. He could pretend differently if it got Acatl to spread him out on top of the nearest flat surface.) Acatl had shown up one hot day minus the jacket, sleeves rolled up past his elbows, and he swore he’d nearly passed out. He hadn’t taken any notes that day.

Even the memory made him swallow against a pulse of heat in his gut. No. Bad. No boners in class. Not again, at any rate.

The worst part, he decided, was that he could have handled it if Mihmatini’s older brother was just hot. He was used to hot. Sure, he’d still spend a lot of time daydreaming about all the things he wanted to do with (and to) him, but it would have been bearable if Acatl had just been a handsome face and slender, elegant body, instead of also being...kind. Patient. Seemingly unflappable, or at least Teomitl had never seen him do more than glower classroom disruptions into submission. He’d only ever heard him be less than professional when Mihmatini was in the room, where they displayed a teasing sort of fondness that struck Teomitl to the core even though it wasn’t even directed at him. I want it to be. I want to make him smile like that. I want to make him laugh. I want to…

An orange flash in the corner of his laptop screen drew his attention to his DMs.

Snacts (snake facts): looking a little dreamy there :)

Jaguar Bro: fUCK OFF, NEZAHUAL

Snacts (snake facts): is that the way you talk to your best friend??

Jaguar Bro: I don’t see mihm here

Snacts (snake facts): TT_TT

He huffed at his screen, knowing that Nezahual was lounging in his customary back-of-the-room seat and smirking at him from on high. Knowing you since we were five will not stop me punching you in the dick. Don’t push it.

“...And so they settled here, right where we’re sitting.” Acatl paused. “Well, not right where we’re sitting. Back then, this area was still underwater. Which brings us to the next point of today’s lecture—geography. Yes, you do have to know this.” His gaze swept the room, grave, but there was a light in it that made Teomitl feel a little faint. He clearly loved his class.

Dear god, help me survive this semester. With superhuman effort, he turned his focus back to Google Docs. Maybe, if he applied himself, this crush would fade by midterms.

& &

Midterms passed in a blur. His feelings, meanwhile, did not. He was pretty sure he’d done alright on his tests and essays—at least, as sure as he could be given how much studying he hadn’t done. His focus had kept wandering back to the assigned reading for Acatl’s class, remembering that voice patiently going over the same points. His notes had been...less helpful, in comparison.

God, he hoped he hadn’t embarrassed himself during the test. Acatl had smiled when he’d handed his paper in, so maybe. Maybe there was a chance. He just knew he couldn’t sit and do nothing.

I’ll just have to go and see.

He timed his arrival carefully. This close to the end of Acatl’s office hours, nobody would interrupt him. Not that Acatl was much sought-after anyway; he knew the way to the man’s office, but it was a long trek through winding corridors and water-stained wallpaper before he reached a door that had been left ajar, plain except for a simple nameplate. From inside, he could hear the familiar sound of halfhearted typing.

Steeling himself, he stepped inside. There was Professor Acatl, alone. Next to the sight of him—hair pulled back in a messy tail, sleeves rolled up, tie loose, wearing reading glasses which was just unfair—the surroundings faded. He was only dimly aware of the rest of the room, all dark paneling and overcrowded bookshelves. Acatl had made a vaguely attentive noise when he’d entered, but he wasn’t looking at him. He had to say something.

“Ah...Professor?”

Something more intelligent than that.

Acatl looked up from his laptop; the action made his glasses slip down his nose, which was entirely too endearing to be allowed. “Teomitl?” Oh no. He was smiling, that reassuring little quirk of his lips he had for his better students. “I’m surprised to see you here. Nervous about your grades?”

He had to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth to respond. “Uh. Y...yes.” And other things. There were condoms burning a hole in his back pocket.

“Well.” Acatl settled himself more comfortably in his chair, studying his face. “I can tell you right now, your midterm went very well. And you’re a business major, aren’t you? Ever considered switching?”

For you? All the time. Constantly. Trust me, you could have me any way you want—oh, you mean majors. Same answer. Moreso once he’d realized the way his fellow business majors tended to treat non-business classes as free credits, as things they didn’t have to work at. After knowing how much Acatl loved his subject matter and wanted to share that enthusiasm, seeing it slighted infuriated him. But the fact that Acatl had been paying attention... “Mm-hmm. How did you know?”

Was that a faint tinge of red along his cheekbones as his gaze slid away? Dear God, it was. “Mihmatini...mentioned it.”

He loved Mihmatini. He was going to buy her something designer, just for this. “Oh. I...I do love history—especially your class! If it weren’t for my brothers…”

Acatl’s gaze turned serious as he met Teomitl’s eyes. For a moment, he seemed to be about to reach for him, but then visibly thought better of it. His voice took on a faint edge. “...You don’t need to let them define your life.”

He remembered half-overheard conversations and thirdhand gossip—rumors that Acatl’s parents had wanted much better for him than an overworked university posting. Mihmatini had been much more forthright. “Our parents nagged him to join the army like Neutemoc until their dying days. But he loves his job, so…” He’d nodded at the time, unable to imagine loving anything that much. But now he was in Acatl’s office, surrounded by books and stone knives, being looked at like something precious, and he thought he was starting to understand. “No.” He felt himself smile. “But I do need to prove that at least one of us is better at running the company than our father was.”

Acatl was smiling back, not looking away even as he closed his laptop and stood up. They were roughly the same height; Teomitl had a moment to register the warmth in his brown eyes before a hand was laid on his shoulder and he promptly forgot how to think. “I have no doubt you will. I think you could do anything you put your mind to, Teomitl.”

His hand was warm on Teomitl’s skin. There were faint calluses there, unusual for a history professor. He wanted to feel them everywhere. “...Professor.” It came out half-strangled. Kiss me. God, kiss me.

Acatl flinched minutely, withdrawing his hand. Seemingly heedless of Teomitl’s internal turmoil, he hastily turned his attention to sweeping his computer and a handful of scattered papers into a messenger bag that looked like it had seen better centuries. “I should—get going. Yes.” And then he was moving, angling to slide past him, and Teomitl knew he was going to lose his chance.

He reached out, caught hold of his tie, and drew him in. One kiss. Just one, and either he’d be rejected or not but at least he’d know where he stood. At least he could have this. Acatl froze at the first touch, and he had a brief impression of wide, stunned eyes before his own slid shut and their lips met.

Soft. His lips were soft, and warm, and unmoving against his. For a split second he despaired—he’d misjudged, Acatl would be horrified, any minute he’d be shoved away—and then Acatl made a soft sound and tilted his head, and those lips were turning pliant as a shaky, disbelieving hand came to rest at the small of his back. Oh. Oh, this was how it felt when Acatl kissed you. His glasses were in the way and a loose strand of hair was tickling Teomitl’s nose, but that didn’t matter. It was perfect. Emboldened, he dropped his hands to Acatl’s waist and tugged him in, rewarded almost immediately by the eager press of Acatl’s body against his and an unmistakably hungry noise.

I could die happy. He knew he was embarrassingly hard and there was no way Acatl couldn’t notice, but he didn’t care as long as the man didn’t stop. When he coaxed Acatl’s mouth open and was duly backed against the desk, feeling the wood dig into his spine, he couldn’t stop the moan that pulled itself out of his throat. Yes, more of that, please.

Acatl wrenched himself away, so suddenly that Teomitl was left gasping. He watched as Acatl raised a trembling hand to his reddened lips, gaze falling to the floor. His other hand had a white-knuckled grip on his bag, but that was shaking too. His glasses had left red marks on the bridge of his nose. “I—you—“

He should probably apologize. He couldn’t bring himself to form the words. What came out instead, far more snappish than he’d intended, was “I’d do it again.”

Acatl sucked in a harsh breath. He still wasn’t looking at him—but he wasn’t running, either, or telling him to leave. His voice sounded raw as he sagged in the doorway. “We really, really shouldn’t. My job…”

It wasn’t a no. He could work with that. Slowly, carefully, he reached to touch his hand. “I won’t let anyone find out.”

For a second he thought it would work—and then Acatl pulled away, face a carefully blank mask that displayed nothing of whatever he was feeling behind it. “I—I can’t. I’m sorry. You’re my student, Teomitl.”

He had to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat, feeling a traitorous prickle start up behind his eyes. You knew this was coming, idiot. You knew he’d be the good, principled man he is and turn you down. You shouldn’t even have come here. “...Alright, then.” He was very proud of himself for keeping his voice steady.

As he turned to go, Acatl caught his gaze and held it. His voice still shook, and there was definitely a blush tinging his face, but his tone was firm. “Come back. After the end of the semester.”

My god. He had to make himself remember how to breathe, never mind form words. He wants me. He wants me. Or at least...he’s willing to talk about wanting me. “...I will.”

It was a few weeks. He could wait a few weeks.

& &

He could not, in fact, wait a few weeks. It was, oddly enough, easiest to handle in Acatl’s class, where at least he could see the man—could drink his fill, even though they couldn’t touch, and know Acatl wouldn’t forget him. Sometimes Acatl met his eyes and turned away, and he knew he was remembering the kiss. It sent fire through his veins every time. Yes. Look at me. Love me. And when he crossed and uncrossed his legs in the front row, Acatl’s eyes flicked to the movement. Maybe it was mean of him to tease, but he wanted—and Acatl had been the one who’d told him to wait. Look at what you could have, Professor. All this for you.

It was easy to be confident in front of Acatl. In his other classes, he burned. Paying attention had never been harder; while his body was physically present, his mind kept flashing back to Acatl’s hands, Acatl’s mouth. It was bad enough that his friends noticed, and Mihmatini—who, as far as he knew, did not exist socially during class times—messaged him in the middle of one of their shared lectures.

Holder of the One Braincell: teo. are you like

Holder of the One Braincell: ok??????

Jaguar Bro: fine, why?

Holder of the One Braincell: bc you keep spacing out? you never do that

He stared at his screen. Sorry, I can’t read poetry without hearing your brother’s voice would not go over well, but he’d never been good at lying.

Snacts (snake facts): I think he’s in love

Jaguar Bro: no???? i’m just tired

Jaguar Bro: too many essays

Holder of the One Braincell: ok ok, take care of urself!

He’d never been more grateful for Nezahual. Despite the man’s stated insistence that he never lied, after one too many creative omissions of facts Mihmatini had adopted the position that everything he said was probably bullshit. As long as Teomitl didn’t give him the reaction he was looking for, Mihm would never suspect him. Maybe one day I’ll tell her. But not now.

The semester oozed onwards until finally—finally—it ended. Teomitl picked his outfit for his last day of Overview of the Aztec Empire with more care than he’d ever done in his life. He rarely wore skinny jeans, but it was the clearest please-peel-these-off-me indicator he could give. Judging by the minute widening of Acatl’s eyes when he sauntered in to hand in his final essay, it worked.

And then he had to wait. Once again, he timed his arrival for the end of office hours, knowing that Acatl would keep to them. Knowing—dear God, knowing that Acatl was waiting for him. By the time he pushed open Acatl’s door, he was wound so tightly he felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin.

“...I’m here.”

Acatl had risen from his seat at his approach. “...So you are.” He swallowed visibly before slowly, deliberately, taking his glasses off. “Lock the door behind you?”

He locked the door. For a long moment, they just stared at each other. There was an inkstain on Acatl’s cheek, and golden flecks in his brown eyes.

He really wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but then they were colliding and he didn’t care anymore. It was deliciously easy to press Acatl back into his chair and straddle his hips, feeling him arch under him as they kissed. When he slid a hand up into his hair, Acatl made a frankly incredible sound that went straight to his cock, pulling a growl from his own throat.

“Later,” Acatl gasped when Teomitl left his mouth to devote attention to his neck, “we really should talk about—this.” Given that his hands had wound up on Teomitl’s ass and squeezed encouragingly when he kissed a spot just under his jaw, it would probably be much later.

Teomitl made a noncommittal noise. Acatl’s throat deserved much more focus than anything involving words, and when he fumbled the first few buttons of his shirt the man trembled under him. It was intoxicating. He slipped his fingers inside and the heat of Acatl’s skin almost scorched him. He wanted to taste.

He ground down against the bulge in Acatl’s slacks, and the chair creaked alarmingly. They both froze.

Acatl almost laughed. It sounded strained. “Ah. We should...move.”

Pulling away was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but then he was settling himself on the edge of the desk and feeling Acatl’s gaze sweep slowly up his legs. He couldn’t help but smirk through the heat in his own face; Acatl looked downright debauched. Flushed, half hard, shirt partially undone—it made something hot and possessive coil in his gut. “See something you like?”

“Jesus Christ, yes.” Acatl shoved himself up out of his chair; Teomitl expected more kisses, but then his mouth found his throat instead and he made a breathy, desperate noise at the first scrape of teeth. He hoped it left a mark; for a moment all he could do was dig his nails into Acatl’s shoulderblades and shudder. Unlike him, Acatl clearly had no problems talking, though his voice was rough as he breathed, “Swear to God, from the moment I saw you—“

Teomitl hiked a leg up around his hips; in a minute he knew he’d be begging for Acatl to tear his clothes off, but right now he just wanted to be closer. “You could have had me. We could have been—ah—“ Acatl was mouthing a bruise into the base of his throat, sending shockwaves through his veins “—doing this all semester—“

Acatl’s hands slid up under his shirt, making him arch with a gasp as his fingers found suddenly-sensitive nipples. “We could not have.” It was a growl. “But now…”

“Please.” Even to his own ears, his voice sounded raw. He was so aroused it actually hurt.

Acatl drew back a bit, but he was only going for his pants; when Teomitl wriggled half out of them, baring skin, he made a noise like he’d been punched and kissed him so roughly it was almost a bite. His hands were already at his hips when he breathed, “I—how do you want—?”

He didn’t need to think about what he wanted. He’d spent too long fantasizing about it. “Bend me over.” It came out shaky. “Bend me over on this desk and fuck me until I scream.”

Acatl paused. Teomitl saw the exact moment his words sunk in, because he went red. “...Oh, god.” He dropped his head to Teomitl’s shoulder, taking a slow breath. “I’ve never—“

What. Has anyone ever seen you?! But saying that wouldn’t get them anywhere, so he ferreted out condoms and lube from his pockets. He’d never been more grateful for planning. “Do you want to?”

Thumbs pressed into his hipbones hard enough to bruise, and he bit back a cry. This was going to be incredible. Acatl’s words came out ragged. “Yes.”

And then he was being rolled over, and had barely enough coordination to kick his shoes off and consign his jeans to the floor. Acatl’s hands skimmed slowly over his thighs, and he shivered. Oh, Christ. But then they paused, and he propped himself up on one elbow and twisted around for a look at Acatl’s face. The hunger in his eyes was exciting, but his hesitation was not. “I won’t break.”

“Hmm.” One hand left his skin and came back cold and slick, trailing lightly over his entrance; when a finger slid in, he almost collapsed back onto the desk. “Good?”

He bit back a whine. Barely. Not because it felt like anything much yet, but because it was Acatl carefully working him open—and then another finger joined the first, and he savored the stretch. “Oh, fuck yes—ahh…” He’d managed to angle his fingers in exactly the right way to send sparks up his spine, still slow and deliberate and hot. “Professor, please.”

Acatl snarled, rough and wordless, and gritted out, “Don’t call me that here.” His fingers curled, and Teomitl keened. “Say my name.”

“Acatl,” he gasped, breathless—those amazing, maddening fingers wouldn’t stop. And then, “Acatl, I swear to God if you don’t fuck me—“

He tore the packet open with his teeth, promptly dropped the foil, nearly dropped the condom too, and swore viciously. Teomitl, viscerally aware of his current position, managed not to laugh. But then the condom was in place and his fingers were gone—oh, he was empty—and Acatl’s cock was replacing it in a slow, smooth thrust that had his eyes rolling back in his head as he sank back to the desk. Fuck. Fuck. I am not going to survive this.

Acatl’s voice was raw by the time he spoke, hilted as deep as he could go. Teomitl trembled; he’d never felt this full before. “Christ, you’re like a vice—“ He sounded like he needed a minute, but he was still rocking his hips, little tiny thrusts that made Teomitl gasp and clench down around him because it wasn’t nearly enough. He needed more. He needed everything.

He swallowed, throat gone dry. There wasn’t enough room for him to get much leverage pinned against the desk; he knew that whatever Acatl wanted to give him, he’d have to take. “Move. Move.” He knew he sounded desperate, and didn’t care. So he shifted his weight, grinding roughly against the desk; when Acatl groaned and sank back only to thrust in again, he knew he’d done it right. “Harder.”

“Fuck, Teomitl.” Acatl set a hand on the desk, bracing himself, and Teomitl had a moment to think oh, thank god before Acatl was giving him exactly what he’d asked for—more of that, and harder, slow deep thrusts that sent rolling waves through him and straight to his cock. He made an incoherent noise and muffled it with his forearm; the walls were thin around here, and he was pretty sure he’d feel bad if Acatl lost his job over this. Eventually.

I’d get you a better job. No, I’d keep you at home, my kept man, eating caviar and reading all the books you want and fucking me just like— A particularly hard thrust jarred a cry from him, and he panted out “I—“ before even figuring out what he was going to say, but then Acatl just kept up the pace and he cut himself off with a broken moan. “God—that, just like that, faster.”

“Like this?” Acatl’s voice was a savage thing, all raw edges and need, and the hand that came to rest at his hip grabbed almost hard enough to hurt. And then he was doing just what Teomitl asked for, and Teomitl felt the edge loom. “Is this what you like?”

Closer. Closer. But it wasn’t enough—fucking hell, it wouldn’t be enough just to get fucked, rubbing himself desperately against the desk. He needed Acatl’s hands. “Touch me. Please—“ He was begging. He knew it. He didn’t care, because it got Acatl’s hand to leave his hip and wrap around his cock, pumping him until the skittering sparks up his spine overflowed and turned his world white. He felt himself squeeze around Acatl’s hard flesh, heard an answering gasp at his ragged, muffled cry.

And then he was oversensitive and shaking, but Acatl kept going. Teomitl shuddered, toes curling, and braced himself against the desk; finally, after a small eternity, Acatl spent himself with a groan. Hot breath washed over the back of Teomitl’s neck, but he didn’t mind in the least.

His brain still felt fuzzy. It took a few seconds of silently working his jaw to find the capacity for speech. “That...was…” The best fucking thing ever. Absolutely indescribable. I should tie you to my bed and never let you leave. His thighs were sore as hell and would undoubtedly bruise, but honestly? It was worth it.

Acatl’s voice was soft, but the hand that stroked his spine gently was even softer. He sounded tender, and it tugged hard on Teomitl’s heartstrings. “...You are incredible.”

He said nothing. Words seemed to have fled. It wasn’t until Acatl pulled out, making them both shudder, that he managed, “I still want more.” Not just here. Not just—a fling, your dirty secret.

“Teomitl!” It was almost a laugh, and Acatl shook his head ruefully. “I do need to recover, you know. Things happen once you leave your twenties behind you.”

“Not like that!” He flexed his thighs experimentally. God, he’d be feeling this for weeks. But there were things he needed to say, and this wasn’t a conversation he could have in his current state. He needed pants, for one thing. But even after he cleaned himself up and got mostly dressed, he still wasn’t sure how to say it. You’re kind and intelligent and devastatingly handsome and I want to see more of you. He swallowed, finding it impossible to look directly at him. “I—let me take you out to dinner?”

Acatl was blushing again, but his smile was radiant. “I’d like that.”

& &

Holder of the One Braincell: would you happen to know anything abt why my bro is walking around w/love bites

Holder of the One Braincell: grinning @ his phone like an idiot

Holder of the One Braincell: his NEW phone, btw, bc SOMEHOW he was induced to replace the cracked one from 2009 w/the latest model iphone?

Holder of the One Braincell: WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT TEOMITL

Snacts (snake facts): I can’t help but notice that dear teo has changed his facebook status :)

Snacts (snake facts): and my, what’s this on your instagram account? whatever were you doing at the beach with mihm’s favorite brother??

Holder of the One Braincell: T E O M I T L

**Jaguar Bro has left the chat**

[thatgreenhighlighter]

My Best Advice For Seniors

Summer is finally here and for many of my fellow high school seniors, we’re starting a new chapter of our lives at university this fall. I recently had the opportunity to take a university class in grade 12 and I’ll be honest, it was a wakeup call. Even though it was only one class, I learned a lot about university life and I am definitely more prepared for this fall. Obviously, this was a one in a million opportunity that not everyone will have, so I figured I’d share all the information I got out of the experience. (DISCLAIMER: I took a first year political science course so this information may not be relevant to certain subject areas)

 1. FORGET YOUR AESTHETIC DURING CLASS

Your prof gonna talk for 50 mostly uninterrupted minutes about a subject that they LOVE to talk about if you get a good one. You’re gonna be taking notes on rapid fire and you have no time to think about your colour code when your prof is bouncing from topic to topic. HOWEVER, your prof WILL make it obvious what’s important. I can’t really say how because it differs from prof to prof and is not as obvious as a high school teacher, but you will definitely know when it happens. When that would happen in my class, I would either underline it with the pencil I was writing with or with the yellow highlighter I found on the floor my first day.

What I used for note taking during my lectures literally cost a total of three dollars MAYBE for all of it. I used a composition notebook from the dollar bin at walmart, a found highlighter and a staedtler fineliner (which was actually the most expensive part of the whole ordeal) 

One last thing: depending on your prof you may or may not have a powerpoint to follow. The prof I had refused to use powerpoint because it did not fit with her teaching style, but she would write an outline of the lecture on the whiteboard at the beginning of each lecture so we had an idea of what was going on. Like I said, it depends heavily on the prof.

2. THE READINGS WILL BE DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO DO

so don’t do all of them. I’m not saying to blow them off entirely but I am saying that not doing every single reading will give you an F. For me, it was very high school in the way that my prof would discuss the content with us after the reading was supposed to be done. Additionally, make sure to read your readings sheet carefully because often times my prof would only want us to read certain chapters or sections of chapters. This saves a lot of stress and work so please make sure you read your readings sheet carefully.

Going with that, sparknotes can save your life. For me, when we had to read all these early political philosophers, I just did not understand anything I read so going to sparknotes would just clarify any questions I had.

3. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE REVIEW YOUR NOTES AFTER THE LECTURE 

Literally just review them whenever you have down time that day. Even if you just glance at them while you’re eating lunch or before going to bed, its better than nothing. This is just so you can have them in your head and think about them so if you have questions you can write them down and ask one of the people in your class if they understood it. At this time you can also highlight some new vocabulary words or important topics and write some extra notes in the margins. My friend and I used to do this when we got back to school and it literally look 15 minutes. Our grades totally benefitted too like we both ended up with As in the course as high school students which is never the expectation going in.

4. YOU WILL PROBABLY NOT MAKE FRIENDS IN LECTURES

I swear to god I only talked to 4 people in that entire semester I was taking the class. Two of them were friends from my high school that graduated, one was my friend who also got to take a uni course ass a grade 12 and one was some guy who asked what day it was when we were taking our midterm. This probably sounds really discouraging, especially if you’ll be commuting to uni from home, but I found it was a really good way to not be distracted in a room of 200 people. It was also comforting to know that no one cared how bad you looked cuz you’ll probably never see them again.

If you’re still worried that you won’t make any friends because maybe you live off campus or something, don’t be! I ended up making a lot of friends outside of my lectures. No matter if you live on or off campus, you can study in the library or any other designated study space. Surprisingly, there are quiet study spaces and there are not so quiet study spaces and in the not so quiet spaces, people will probably talk to you unless you clearly don’t want to be talked to (wearing headphones, head buried in work, etc). This is actually an awesome way to spend time between classes if you commute or if your dorm is across campus from your next class. Just be reminded that the lecture hall is gonna be dead silent and that is like the ONLY place on campus where you probably won’t make a friend.  

5. YOUR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS LIED

How many times did you hear “college will be a lot harder than this!” or “your prof will NEVER let you hand work in late” or “your prof WILL NOT let you go on your phone!” or any other garbage like that? Yeah probably a lot if your high school teachers were anything like mine. The truth is that most of it depends on your prof. Profs are a lot less... standardized(?) than high school teachers. What I mean by that is that profs can pretty much do whatever they want within reason so if they wanna ban all laptops and smartphones in their class they totally can but that goes both ways and they low key don’t care, especially in first year classes with 200+ students. They don’t even know your name, let alone if you’re playing on your phone. Most of the time they won’t even care if your essay is late if you go in at office hours and explain yourself. You’ll probably get a percentage taken off but the notion that they won’t accept late work is dumb. That being said, there were assignments in my course where you could not hand in the paper unless you attended the tutorial, but even so, if you couldn’t make it for whatever reason (my reason was that I was seeing Green Day 8 hours away so literally any reason) you could talk to the prof about it and she’d arrange for you to attend a different tutorial.

I personally found that my prof was a lot less high strung than my teachers at high school. When I would talk to my prof she was always super chill and she basically just wanted to talk about politics. The only time she wasn’t chill was when she respectfully called out some dude bros aggressively talking about football in the back row.

My weird point here is that teachers make REALLY general statements about college based for the purpose of motivating students to actually do anything during class time.  

Anyway, this has been my super long post of advice. I hope it helps in some way and if you have any questions about university, I will do my very best to help you!! This is just the stuff that I wish I knew when I started off my adventure into part-time post-secondary education!