#bro actually carked it

[cyberfreaky]

if i was neteyam, i simply would have survived

[pastelclownkitty]

woah bro we have the same name !!!! mine is spelled Cark but its still pronounced marc

zomg i actually remember you i think you're the person who submitted their oc to the poll and i was really tired when i read it so i didnt catch the part mentioning they were a dog and when i clicked on the image i got like whiplash. i love names that are spelled completely different than how they're pronounced thats so awesome

[skopostheorie]

hey! i love reading analysises and i like urs a lot, so thank you! what do you think about the narrative parallels between ishimondo and kuzupeko?

i’d recommend reading @plumb1tes‘ thing for that, since they said it far better than i could - sorry to disappoint and not have a good essay for ya there, lol. if people want i can go a little more into depth on it?

i think it’s cool! a LOT of relationships draw extreme parallels to them, or have similarities. off the top of my head: nidai and owari are clearly made in ishimaru and oowada’s images respectively; they share a lot of lines with chabashira talking about yumeno in trial 2, and momota talking about karukawa; shirogane compares saihara and akamatsu’s relationship to oowada and ishimaru’s via cosplay; oogami says “i’m so glad i met you, asahina”, as ishimaru says to oowada; ishida and yamada’s love for alter ego beign viewed as equal; naegi internally compares ishimaru’s feelings about oowada’s death to his own feelings about maizono’s; and on and on it goes.

to be honest, that’s a major part of why i like to say they had the best relationship design in the series - because they brought up concepts that frequently showed up in other parts of the series. i think a lot of their characters encompass what danron is really about;

oowada and ishimaru being the clashing of two concepts - delinquency and compliance, to reject the system and to actively want to change it, societal failure and conventional success, black and white - that find common ground in unique ways

what it means to have a common trauma

minor, but they also have an Important Pun: 兄弟 (kyoudai, bro) sounds like 強大 (also kyoudai), which means “strong”. think of kiibo and kibou, monokuma sounding like monochrome... ishimondo fit right in!

how you constantly want to search for the truth, find justice, then get upset when you find it

how after all what is and is not the truth does not matter; because the real truth is the friendships you build and the feelings you have for others

kuzupeko is probably the most stark example of Literally Just Doing Ishimondo Again, but it’s a shame that it’s hard to tell what they are saying about ishimaru and oowada when they do that. is kuzupeko “ishimondo if it were romantic” or is it “romantic just like ishimondo”? i of course like to hope it’s the second one. honestly, who knows.

kinda sad that kuzuryuu got to grow after pekoyama carked it while ishimaru just got a little Innuendo Character and then dies. to be honest, i just think as much as we would have liked survivor ishimaru, ishimaru simply did not want to live without oowada. that’s also how i read ishida - oowada needed to be there, alive, so ishimaru just picked up where oowada left off. ishimaru couldn’t imagine a world without him, so he did it himself. that’s another thing that is more akin to owari and nidai’s relationship in that regard, what with mechamaru, than kuzuryuu and pekoyama’s.

ah, and now i’m just talking about parallels in general! again, if you want me to actually have an In Depth Look at kuzupeko vs ishimondo, i’d be happy to do that for you. gimme a couple weeks.

[aion-rsa]

Vigil Episode 4 Review: Who’s Been Russian Around Committing Sa-boat-age?!

https://ift.tt/3yM7cnN

Warning: this review contains Vigil spoilers.

The Russians! We’ve been expecting you. After all, where would a Second Cold War submarine thriller be without a Piotr or a Fyodor? Sunk, probably. Forget the blackmail and bad blood theories: new intelligence suggests that Jade and Craig were murdered by Soviets because they’d stumbled onto Russia’s top secret plan for HMS Vigil. 

What plan, you ask? Judging by the spies’ interest in Vigil’s ventilation system, it’s either to subtly undermine Western democracy by messing with the boat’s air-con settings, or to suffocate the crew in a tragic ‘accident’ that pushes the UK into voting against renewing its nuclear deterrent. Or perhaps that pushes them into voting for it? Look, I’m not a Russian spy, I don’t know how they think. (Piotr, I think they bought that. See you on the bridge at midnight.) 

That’s right: the British Navy’s zero tolerance policy on Russian spies is working about as well as the one it has on drugs, bullying and murder. There’s a traitor in Vigil’s midst and they’re causing no end of trouble. By the looks of things, they bribed cook Jackie to poison Craig Burke in exchange for her son’s release from Indonesian prison. Then they jimmied a lock to a thing to force a nuclear reactor shutdown, for reasons unknown. Then, when cook Jackie came under suspicion, they poisoned her, and finally, they sabotaged the boat’s communications wire so that no more coded messages could pass from DS Longacre and DCI Silva, threatening their scheme.  

Having reached the bit where the cook turns up dead and somebody cuts the phone lines, Vigil’s murder mystery plot is sticking close to its Agatha Christie roots. If things continue in this direction, Silva’s got two episodes to think up a reason to gather all 137 surviving crew members in one room for a finger-pointing monologue in which she reveals that the Coxswain is actually the secret lovechild of Captain Newsome and did it all for the inheritance. 

Read more

TV

Vigil Episode 3 Review: For Bros In Peril On the Sea!

By Louisa Mellor

TV

Vigil Episode 2 Review: Deeper into the Conspira-Sea!

By Louisa Mellor

Atmosphere-wise, episode four didn’t feel at all Agatha Christie. Director Isabelle Sieb served up a kind of submarine sandwich – a noir gloom investigation filled with a lustrous romance in the flashbacks sketching out Silva and Longacre’s relationship. The cold, dark, and tense world of the case was spliced with the hand-held, intimate glow of their love affair. The source of that glow was largely Rose Leslie, who’s proving a floodlight in this sombre world. Those scenes not only provided much-needed variety for Silva’s character and gave us something to cheer on – with Longacre now working against the clock to both unveil the traitor and save the woman she loves – they also showcased just how great Leslie is on screen. From tackling Russian agents to the ground to chatting up hotties at the  cup-a-soup machine, she can do it all. More lead roles for her please. 

And more stuff about spy codes hidden in pictures of halibut too, plus more flashing light, klaxon-blaring bits, in which all the the back’afties (great name for a submarine-based male voice choir, btw) run around looking grave and the Captain has to pull a little curtain around himself like he’s trying something on in a Debenhams changing room. That was an exciting opening scene, from the red joystick that launches the nuclear missiles to the torpedo tubes opening up to fulfil the firing orders. Good job it was just a drill for Craig Burke’s sake; still stored in one of those tubes, that wee corpse would be halfway to Iceland by now.

Silva should be cut some slack. Her response to waking up mid an act of nuclear warfare while cold turkeying from her meds and with a possible concussion was relatively sedate. (I’ve certainly done worse after falling asleep and missing my stop having on the last train.) First the Captain called her unfit and then Glover called her deranged. So far, she’s anything but, having sniffed out most of a mystery under the most hostile conditions. Both men though, may well have a vested interest in everyone thinking Silva a lunatic, considering her bullshit-detection success rate. 

It’s now imperative that Vigil’s traitor is uncovered (Captain Newsome? The Coxswain? Kiely? Hadlow? CPO Doward, on whom the camera kept teasingly lingering?), before the Russian asset enacts their scheme and everybody carks it. In that secret thumb drive video, Craig Burke said he could think of at least 20 different ways to kill Vigil’s crew. Just blow them sky high, Guy / Poison their scran, Stan / Smash in their heads, Fred / Stop ‘em from breathing, Stephen… With just two episodes remaining, Longacre and Silva – last seen being tackled to the ground by what looked like the Coxswain in a gas mask – need to shake a leg, Greg.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Vigil continues on Sunday the 26th of September at 9pm on BBC One. 

The post Vigil Episode 4 Review: Who’s Been Russian Around Committing Sa-boat-age?! appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3lhFdaR

[lady-fireheart]

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ENDING CASSANDRA

I JUST FINISHED LOS AND NEED TO RANT. I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS SERIES. I NEED HELP. OH MY GOD. LET ME RANT. EVERYTHING IS FUCKED. I LIST QUESTIONS. SPOILERS!!!!!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YO. IN THE SPACE OF TEN PAGES SHE KILLED TWO CHARACTERS AND RUINED EVERYTHING. I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. OH MY GODS.

1. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BB MAGNUS 2. If Robert is dead, who becomes Inquisitor? Who will exile Emma? Will she be exciled at all? 3. Simply, WHAT THE FUCK ANNABEL WHYYYYYYYYYYY 4. What was up with ANNABEL disappearing and the Unseelie King’s symbol appearing? 5. GWYN AND DIANA PLS 6. Now the Dearborn’s are discredited, who will step in as head of the Institute when Alec has to step down? Will he at all? 7. ARE KIT AND TY GON BE GAY BBS OR PARA-BRO-TAI I AM CONFUSED (UPDATE: HOLY FUCK I AM SCREAMING. I KNEW IT! I THOUGHT CAUSE LIVVY AND TY WERE GON BE PARABATAI AND THE SUBTLE HINTS OF GAY, BUT CC ANSWERED A QUESTION AND SAID THAT ‘I don’t think [them becoming parabatai] is a good idea, don’t you?’ I am S H O O K 8. WHY WAS LIVVY AND THE LAST LINE NECESSARY CLARE? WHYYYYYYYY?! 9. Why didn’t Emma and Julian try their super love powers to heal Livvy if it makes them more powerful? 10. WHO WILL BE INQUISITOR? I HOPE IT IS DIANA IDK HOW BUT #GOALS (UPDATE: HOLY SHIT SHE CAN NO LONGER BE QUESTIONED BY MORTAL SWORD SO SHE COULD RUN THE INSTITUTE NOW OML) 11. WHAT’S UP WITH CLARY YO LIKE VISIONS? BISCUIT MUST LIVE! CLACE FOREVER?!?! ALSO MAGNUS TOO????!??? 12. WHERE WERE CLACE AT DURING THE END OF BOOK? SIZZY? JUST EVERYONE WHERE YOU AT (FYI I know they appear in QoAD but WHY NOT IN LOS) 13. What will happen TO THE LOVE TRIO? IS IT SETTLED AS CRISTINA AND MARK THEN? I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS MISSING?! ARE THEY GOING TO BE POLY 14. WAIT I DON’T REMEMBER WAS THE CARK/MISTINA (??) BOND THINGO BROKEN OR WHAT (It was, I had lost my marbles all g) 15. WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN NOW THAT THE LORD OF SHADOWS HAS THE BOOK 16. AND THE BLIGHT, OHHH FUUUUCK 17. AND KIERAN AT THE SCHOLARMANCE 18. THESE AREN’T EVEN QUESTIONS ANYMORE I’M JUST IN PAIN 19. WHAT ARE JULES AND EMMA GONNA DO REGARDLESS OF EXILE 20. *incoherent screaming* 21. And THE MORTAL SWORD WHAAAAAAT 22. IS TY OKAY 23. WHAT IS ROBERT’S DEATH GOING TO BE TO MALEC? ARE EITHER GOING TO FEEL RESPONSIBLE CAUSE MAGNUS WASNT THERE OH NOOO 24. FUCK THE COHORT AMIRITE 25. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO PERFECT DIEGO THO 26. ALSO SPEAKING OF MAGNUS, TESSA IS SICK TOO WHAT IS THIS TO DO WITH THE BLIGHT MY BBS NOOOO 27. ALSO ALL THE REFERENCES LIKE WILL H. AND JESSAMINE AND PHOTOS KILLED ME 28. ALSO ALEC’S SASS WOOOOOO 29. Rip what is going to happen with Helen and Aline :((( 30. WAIT WHY DIDN’T THE BLACKTHORNS EVER CALL ON JAIME 31. Annabel was all family this, yay JULIAN that then BAM 32. OH AND WHAT’S UP WITH DRU AND JAIME 33. Bridget???? Is that you???? (*CC has stated that it is her, she’s not immortal but her long life will be explained in the next book) 34. Who is the Queen of Air and Darkness? Is it the Seelie Queen? Cause from what mythology I know it is, and CC said we know her already. 35. OH MY GOD PEOPLE I AM GOING TO GRADUATE BEFORE THE NEXT BOOK I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE PLS HELP

Extra: I’M READING A LOT ABOUT A SEELIE QUEEN/SEBASTIAN DEMON BABY AND I AM WORRIED Update: SHE SAID WE'D SEE A MORGENSTERN AGAIN UH OH

[ecotone99]

Humor [HM] Fantasy [FN] Chapter 3 - Bards, Shrooms, and Zombies Cadorna Keep - A Dnd GameLit

One of the two great doors of the gateway hung broken and tired at a possibly impossible angle. The other lay more certainly upon the ground, straggly grass curling up and over its edges in a grasping and wispy grab for sunlight. The place was in rough shape.

Ya know, Yenrab thought, shading his eyes from the glare of the overhead sun, it doesn’t look that dangerous. It just looks sad . . . and in need of a fix up!

They all stood clustered about the opening in a mob with Bern Sandros watching the right flank and Wex monitoring the left as Yenrab sheltered the spell casters Tracy and Carric in the center. They all stood in awe, mouths open and drooling.

An open air dungeon! Yenrab enthused, trying to put a positive spin on his earlier thoughts. No cobwebs, no goblin zombie lords or skullator gem monsters under tons of rock and dirt. Just a brisk jaunt through a disaster 20 years passed. We don’t need that stupid fireball spell. We’ve got this and then some!

The rest of the party EoTtHUaARB must have come to a similar conclusion because they oohed and aahed along with him at the adventure complex before them. They oohed because it lay completely deserted, filled with old and uninhabited buildings strewn throughout and peppered by thin reedy stalks of grass. They aahed because each and every one of them imagined individual specific treasures within each of those buildings, somehow ungotten by that legendary adventuring troupe, SOG. Then they shivered because the wind blew mournfully as if sad about the place’s tragic past. A shutter banged on warped hinges, turning smiles to frowns and giving the place a bit more character than any of them wanted it to have.

Yenrab stared daggers at Tracy as his emotional arc finished its rollercoaster course. He was back to feeling a mite grumpy about the needless waste of powerful magic.

“Tracy, ya know, we might well have needed that spell,” he nagged to the unlistening hippy from Freemeet. “I’m pretty certain the SOG didn’t all get lost. It’s not a big island.”

Tracy looked about, his goatee a blowing a little in the wind. He threw out his arms in an exaggerated gesture and scrunched his face in tremendous confusion.

“You hear anything?” Tracy yelled to no one in particular. “Because I sure don’t. I’ve got this thing, this curse, where I can’t hear nags or even recognize that they are there.”

Bern watched on with a small half grin playing at his lips. From the other flank of the group Wex snorted and then laughed, enjoying Yenrab’s discomfort.

The big half-orc sighed. Jerks he thought fondly, thinking over all they had already been through together.

“Well, someone tell Tracy to be careful anyways. We need to keep tactical,” Yenrab announced to them all, authority surrounding him. Then he paused and looked off for a bit. “Pillion isn’t around anymore to show us the ropes and, ya know, you all made me captain so let me captain us. Tracy stay in the middle, Carric move to the rear, Wex stay left, Bern stay right, I’m gonna stay as the front. Let’s move together and everyone keep a look out. Someone tell Tracy to tell someone to tell me since he can’t hear or even recognize that I’m here.”

“Maybe someone should tell someone to tell that nag that I can’t heat that maybe he needs to apologize?” Tracy stated to the sky, stroking his goatee in philosophical thought.

“Mates, maybe I should sneak around a bit and see what I can see?” Bern Sandros asked, a greedy glint in his eye.

“And deal with some accidentally summoned monster or demon for our troubles? Again?!” Carric laughed. “Once is enough of that, good sir.”

“Don’t call me sir. I work for a living,” Bern retorted.

“Power to the people!” Tracy agreed.

Doesn’t that power to the people stuff ever get old the Gamer Chief asked at some celestial table far away. Never replied the Gamers with a laugh.

“Look,” Carric said, his face now serious, “this place is strange and I don’t believe for one second that it is empty. Let’s listen to Yenrab and stay together. My bard powers work better with a group anyways. Maybe you can do sneaky rogue stuff when we get to the actual keep up ahead.”

He pointed to the far end of the complex. There the keep stood solid despite its age, grey stones with grey mortar for the gaps, nary a crack in sight. Only its gates looked warped and bowed, but they stood closed and were perhaps stout. It was hard to tell from this distance.

“Ag, man. Shame. Alright mate. I guess I can hold my horses til then,” Bern Sandros agreed. “We stay tight for some bliksem then I sneak when we get close. Got it.”

“Rattle ya dags, bro!” Wex stated, looking back behind them, where the plant life was slowly meandering over to where they stood. “Else we’re gonna cark it.”

“Um, right?” Carric agreed. The common tongue his friends used was sometimes quite foreign to him. But he thought he understood the context. “Let’s move on and let those plants lose interest then, shall we?”

With Yenrab in the lead the five of them headed forward, all tense and at the ready. Ahead the gloomy and fire blackened yet sturdy barracks houses of the immediate garrison hung dark and gritty, their very visage a warning to would be seekers of fortune. The shutters clacked again against their sides in the freshening gust of lake born wind.

“Maybe Bern really should go ahead and scout things out,” Wex suggested with a mask-hidden grin.

“Sard-off mate,” Bern chuckled. “If you thought it’d be safe you’d volunteer yourself off next to me.”

Carric smiled, “Sounds like neither of you has the guts to go forward.”

“Ya know, if I were mocked by a bard,” Yenrab nodded, to Carric’s drooping face, “I’d feel the need to push ahead and prove myself.”

A staccato of more distinct Gamer voices blasted into hearing. The party members winced.

That’s cruel, man.

Nah, that’s realistic. Bards suck.

You suck.

Your mo-

Guys stop it. Look, how about Carric goes forward and shows us what guts really are.

Okay, I guess I will!

“I, uh, I feel like I should have a bit more choice in this matter,” Carric protested to no one in particular. “But I guess it’s my turn in the forefront.”

“Carric! Carric!” Tracy cheered on in support. The bard gave him a panicked shush and hurried himself forward to get it all done with.

***

Carric stealthed ahead as well as he could. He couldn’t hear his own steps, so that was probably a good thing. The wind gusted again, briefly, as if in response to his brave foray forward.

This is not good. Not good not good not good he thought to himself in fright. He looked back at the party, growing a bit smaller as they got more distant. Tracy danced and waved.

He was next to the first of the two military structures. They weren’t that big, really, but he imagined that soldiers were like clowns in that they could all pile into those tiny enclosed carts in impossibly compact knots of people encompassing a hundred or so individuals. He certainly wasn’t looking forward to clacking a shutter fully open against the walls and poking his head in.

The bard took a quick stroll around the building, giving himself a quiet sigh as a gift for such bravery. Then, again in the eyes of the party, he fully opened one of the shuttered window apertures and peered inside.

The interior was filled with broken and splintered wood, the remains of the bunks and chests of the original defenders. They were indeed stacked together quite tight, perhaps capable of holding thirty defenders? It was hard to tell, though, because the place looked well smashed up and looted.

The bard looked back and yelled out to them.

“It’s well clear you bunch of yellow-bellied chickens. You are welcome.”

Yenrab started laughing, striding ahead in eager pace. There was some distant muttering, and also the loud cheering of Tracy, as they all moved forward.

That’ll teach them to besmirch my honor he chuckled to himself. Shown up and mocked by a bard?! How pathetic!

***

The party checked out both of the barracks buildings from the outside quite thoroughly before readying themselves for the interior. Whether it was the shame of being shown up by a bard or perhaps a lack of things to say nobody could tell you, but Wex and Bern kept their mouths shut through the whole process. It wasn’t until they were standing before the actual door to one of the structures that Bern, the noisier of the two, finally spoke.

“I’ve checked it this way and that, mates. Free from traps, good as platinum in my pocket. If there is anything dangerous here, it is going to be spooky and not at all in my department of things to deal with.”

Yenrab stretched and Carric swung his harmonica bar across his face, its burnished surface catching in the sun for a momentary bit of glare. Next to him Tracy rolled his hands in slow purpose around a dim and pulsing ball of flame. It was a definite zeroth level cantrip but something probably useful against all manner of spooky things.

“Well I guess now might be a good time for us to go in then?” the barbarian asked them all, looking back and forth between those on either flank.

Tracy shimmered by in rainbow-glittered robes, taking an advantageous angle. “Let’s do this,” the sorcerer grinned, glowing orb pulsating more brightly, possibly leveled up from its earlier state.

“Right. Yeah, ya know, I think I’d like it better if this place were full of zombies,” the big man complained in response. He reached one meaty hamlike hand forward though despite his reluctance and threw open the door. But there was nothing.

“Bro,” Wex whispered, “this is spooky.”

Then he found himself stumbling into the room, shoved by some unseen force. He looked back in panic and saw Bern Sandros stifling a laugh. The glee of the merry man was infectious and Wex smiled back while digging about quickly and thoroughly for hidden treasures. The rest swarmed in to do the same.

“I found a button,” Tracy called out in glee.

“Yuck,” Carric called out, holding a moldering scrap of soiled underpants.

“Well that’s enough of that,” Yenrab affirmed, waving everyone out. “We’ve still got a whole keep to search.”

***

The buildings closest to them were the stout and stone castle-like kitchen, some lanky and disused stables, and what looked to be the remains of a silo, one that must have been quite tall a few decades ago. At present, what was left of it was stunted, the majority of it having collapsed during the battle for the keep or soon after. It was at a distance but they could see that the silo was bereft of anything but a field of large mushrooms, growing through bare earth and out of the cracks of broken rubble.

“Jol!” “Mean as!” “Sweet!” the bard, the rogue, and the cleric all yelled at the same time, then laughed, making a beeline for the silo.

“Oh no,” Yenrab moaned, shaking his head slowly as the party hunched over their find, daggers in hand, ready to prune. “Not again,” he added, giving a bit of mystery to the interested reader as he or she or they hunched over the flickering light of their dying kindle, or the stout pages of the published novel.

Tracy eyed them over, the Gamer rolling enthusiastically as he tried to figure out what it was. The 20 sided die clicked and rolled off of the cosmic table.

“Noni Moss,” Tracy said, a 13 blazing in his mind’s eye. “Not a real moss, but one in name. Eating it makes you a bit wiser and have a good taste in novels for a while, but it’s not gonna get you all high.”

“Are you being straight up?” Wex asked, his eyes suddenly empty of their former joviality. “Brah, I really thought we had something here.”

“No worries, mate, this stuff here sounds good regardless,” Bern opined, to Yenrab’s nodding approval.

“Yeah, I bet we can sell it big at some market somewhere and use that money to get the good stuff,” Carric laughed, making the barbarian frown all over again.

The big guy didn’t stop them though from gathering all they could, stuffing one small travel pack and then the other full of the delicious-looking fungi. He too could hear the clink of gold coins in his head as the useful fungus was bottled, bagged, or otherwise stored.

Indeed, so absorbed were the party in the collection and perusal of the task at hand that they didn’t realize it when the ground behind them tore open, silent and deadly. Nor did they hear the click of bones and the rasp of dead flesh as zombies and skeleton crawled on out to do battle. They only realized their danger when Carric screamed, punched in the back of the head by a skeletal fist. He stumbled, but he did not fall.

Roll initiative! a distant voice called in their heads.

“To arms!” Yenrab yelled, fumbling with his axe straps in surprise.

Chapter 1 = https://www.reddit.com/r/shortstories/comments/edngy6/humor_hm_fantasy_fn_cadorna_keep_chapter_1_a_dnd/

Chapter 2 = https://www.reddit.com/r/shortstories/comments/eecc7d/humor_hm_fantasy_fn_cadorna_keep_chapter_2_a_dnd/

submitted by /u/damienleehanson [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2MHs1LX

[abandoned-as-mustard]

GoT 1x01

the first episode titled, appropriately, “winter is coming”. that’s like the only phrase I know apart from Jon snow not knowing anything 

oh and I forgot

the “you had one job scene” mwahaha

so ima start now ok

- so far the screen cap showing Jon snow in guy liner looks good

- grumpy looking dudes on horses going through a tunnel, I'm gonna guess this doesn’t end well. aren’t there like 573 deaths every episode 

- 2 minutes in and no one has died, come onnnn give me some deathhh

- toothless man/woman can’t tell crawling thru snow 

- ooooh roasted carcases

- or should I say, frozen 

- a + wax models 

- and toothless turns out to be a man with just crooked teeth, but Ima still call you toothless 

- “they even killed the children!”

“good thing we’re not children”

I'm calling it, this smart ass is gonna cark it

- oh dear the bodies have packed up and gone a-walking 

- WOOOOH first death, and it’s to smart ass

was actually less gory than I expected, just a cut away

- hellgirl with creepy blue eyes 

- second guy has just been beheaded 

- OH NO TOOTHLESS ya probably dead now 

- DAAAAAA DAAAAAAAA DAAAA DAAAAAAAAAA DAAAAAAAAA DAAAA DAAA (DA da dada DA da dada DA da dada DA)

- ohhh toothless ya alive!

- I know I sound like an ignorant douche but why is it winterfell when there’s no WINTER

- BAHAHAHAHA Jon’s accent 

- smol little arya stark

- adorabubble little kid who can’t shoot for shit is me tbh

- “WINTER IS COMING”

Or 

“winter is cooming”

- ewww I’ve seen this Important Rock On The Hillside there’s a beheading gonsta happen

- aaand I muted the squishy flesh chopping because I'm a wuss

- a gutted deer, how lovely

- oh come on, since when has anything attributed to a mountain lion ever actually been a mountain lion

- a dead wolf now

-ooh hello Guy With The Funky White Beard

-awww lil wolves 

- heheheheh Jon snow: “there are five poops[ pups]”

- I know there are supposed to be jerks here but they look so funny being undermined by the cuteness of the lil floof balls 

- Mrs Stark’s red brown hair is prettyyyyy

- now when am I gonna meet the acclaimed short guy 

- "[jon snow’s] never met a girl he likes better than his own hair”

it IS luscious hair tho

- hehehe here comes Joffrey douche 

- oh no he and Sansa are making eyes at each other 

- Rob of the High Cheekbones

- first swear word and it sounds like “Fug”

- oh dear is this the incestuous twin brother

- HELLO SHORTY

- time to shield my eyes because I'm too pure for this world

- so the shorty is the twin brother’s other brother

- GoT must really save in the costumes department with all the topless girls there are

- creepy siblings ahoy 

- wait what?? a wedding ceremony where they didn’t even say anything??

- Dany walks like she has a book on her head all the time

- nothing to show brotherly love like telling your sister that you’d let 40,000 men screw her just to get an army 

- come on Dany grow that spine soon

- sansa hopeful for engagement to Joffrey the “stupidest prince to ever live”, I take it this never happens

- Jon snow fighting a dummy like an emo

- Jon’s Grumpy Puppy™️ face when shorty is giving him the bastard talk 

- the twin brother that looks like Prince Charming, I'm gonna call you Prince Charming only because you remind me of the douche from Shrek with the same hair

- aw big bro Jon carrying off arya for bed for flicking stuff at Sansa 

- Dany looks so YOUNG

- Karl drogo reminds me of someone but I can’t remember who. maybe the guy liner is disguising it

- now I remember, the guy liner war paint reminds me of the war paint from the 100 

- I can’t decide if Dany’s brother is a twat or a prat but he’s certainly a creep

- some dude humping another one’s lady and they get in a fight where someone’s guts spill out, can’t remember which one 

-OOOOOH

- DRAGONS EGGS

- DRAGON LADY HAS BEGUN 

- your best friends are gonna be in dem eggs

- for a moment the horse’s saddle was so high I thought it was camel humps

- Dany looks like barbie 

- does her brother die?? tell me he dies because I wouldn’t be too unhappy about that

- he reminds me of some grumpy elf 

- first in a line of many of whimsical Staring at Sunsets for Dany 

- I can’t wait to see Dany stand up for herself 

- Karl stop saying no dammit 

- holy crap he’s so freaking TALL

- ned stark is heading out for a journey and he head nodded at the cute kid oh no... the Head Nod at the Cute Kid usually means death for one of them

- oh noooo don’t tell me he’s about to witness 

- INCESTUOUS PRINCE CHARMING SHOVING HIM OFF A FRICKING LEDGE akjnfakjfnakefnakj

- ajfnakfnksenfkaneaehufaoeifha

- I know I just saw way more than I wanted to see of Certain Things but I still GOTSTA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SWEET LIL BOY FALLS