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sinzkiller · 2 years ago

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Mayuri Kurotsuchi X Reader

"Change"

Warning: Fluff💕+ damn nasty Smut💀✨

"I wanna trust me, the way that you trust me"

"Ooh, cause nobody ever loved me like you do"

"I'd love to see me from your point of view"

—POV by Ariana Grande

The first time you met Mayuri when Urahara introduced him to everyone in 12th squad, you had your heart set on him. For you, Mayuri is easy to work with, you don't even know why everyone is having hard time with him. It didn't even take a month for you to be close to him, the way you accept him for who he is and match his energy brings you closer to each other.

Those beautiful eyes of his, those beautiful painted skin of his, those beautiful smile of his whenever he's getting excited with new experiment... You never know if he likes you the same way you like him, so keeping the love feeling for yourself is the best option because there's no way you want to ruin the special bond between the two of you.

He never treats you as badly as he does with others but you don't want to make preconceived assumptions about his small kindness.

Now that he's a captain of 12th Division, you can say that you work under him as a Squad 12's soul reaper. While everyone else trying their best to avoid him, you tried your best to get closer to him not just physically, but also emotionally. You are one of a few people that he's close with, but compare with Nemu and Akon, you're the closest one since hundred years ago.

"Captain?" You call for him as you slowly made your way inside the room. It's been a week since he locked himself inside his private lab, totally busy with whatever he's working on. Now it's middle of the night and all the researchers already headed to their own barracks, leaving the place empty except for you and Mayuri. "What is it? Didn't I tell everyone in this squad to not bother me?" The captain respond in such a low voice, hinting that he's drained out. His eyes never once look at you, only focusing on the monitor screen. "Nothing, just checking on my favorite person"

No respond from Mayuri, only the clicking sound of the keyboard being heard. Slowly you approach the captain and standing next to him, giving him a worried look. Your right hand touches his, stopping him from typing on his keyboard.

He groaned, too tired to push you away so he let you to do so. "I know you're tired, captain, how about taking a break?" You whispered.

"I'm not tired and please go away you're distracting me" he replied and and tried to push you away but failed, too tired to move his muscles. You smile softly and pull him from his seat. You're gonna risk it all, he is the man that you love and you should take care of him. Even if he probably will kill you after this, you just don't care anymore.

You know how much he hate it when people see him in such a fragile state so you hurriedly lead him to his own captain's quarters. It's not your first time going there anyway. When Urahara still a captain, he always asked you to help him tidy the the quarters for him so the place is familiar to you. But now the captain's quarters is not belong to Urahara, but Mayuri...

Once you guys enter the room, Mayuri pull his hand from you so that he can undress and heading to the bathroom.

"wait for me here, we will settle this once I'm done removing this paint..." he stated and close the door behind. For some reason there's no threat behind his words this time, he just genuinely wants you to stay there with him.

Around 15 minutes later, you find yourself fall asleep on his bed and immediately get up before he sees you in this state. Just in time he came out of his bathroom, wearing nothing but only towel that wrapped around his waist. You were loss for words, it's the first time you've seen him without his white paint and he's absolutely gorgeous.

"First time seeing me like this, isn't?" He knew what he's doing and it's driving you crazy.

Your hands moving on its own, touching his cold skin and caressing the scars on his arm. "Captain...." You couldn't believe that you finally see the real him.. "Y/n, this time just call me by my name".

Mayuri.. it's been a long time since you call him by that name.. ever since he became a captain, it's absolutely forbidden to address him so casually..

Mayuri pushed you down to the bed, his head now on your chest as he nestled against it. You were flustered, you never imagined yourself to be with Mayuri like this. Slowly you runs your fingers on his blue hair which made Mayuri felt more sleepy and in relaxed state. "I know you desired me, I know you love me since the day that man introduced me to you" He said in a low voice but enough for you to hear. "Holy shit am I that obvious?" This is so embarrassing that you feels like you want to slap the shit out of yourself. So he knew about this.

The tired captain didn't respond, only stare at you in such uncomfortable amount of time before asking you one more question. "Can I trust you?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes"

Now that both of you changed the position, you find yourself straddling him while slowly trailing your fingers on his scars and placed a kiss on it, admiring his body that you've never seen before. "I am surprised you're not afraid of me" he said which made you giggles and stares at his honey gold eyes. "Say something, idiot" he scoffed and smacked your ass. You yelped and accidentally pressed your chest against his, which cause something awaken underneath you.. "Hmmm? Seems like you got me excited" He smirked and smacked your ass again, this time harder than before. "A..ah! Mayuri" you accidentally moaned his name. "Why should I be afraid of you?" you pouted and playfully punched his chest. He wonder why and how you love someone like him, he wonder how is he likes in your point of view.

The special feeling he had for you grew even more when he sure that he can trust you. As someone who is cautious with everything and anything, it's hard for him to just open up and yet he just showed his real face to you...

You cupped his cheeks with your cold hands and give him a quick kiss before look at his eyes once more. "Please don't doubt me, my feeling for you is genuine" you kiss him again but this time on his forehead, trying to gain his trust.

Your fingers trailed the scars on his shoulder as you moved your hips back and forth just to provoke him more. Losing his patience, he pushed you down to the bed and ripped your clothes off your body until your skin was completely exposed to him as he removed the towel from his waist, revealing his huge dick to you.

"Is this huge dick of mine scaring you, girl?" The audacity he had saying something like that made you even more excited. You said nothing and look away, completely embarrassed by the situation you caught yourself in.

He took your left hand and placed it on his chest, wanting more for your touch before he furiously thrust his dick inside your tighten cunt without any warning. "Mayuri..!" You screamed his name and wrapped your legs around his waist.

"Be proud..ah.. having my dick deep inside your pussy.. is a privilege you know.. mmm" he said as his half lidded golden eyes looking at you with lust. Showing no mercy, he thrusts himself into your pussy harder until the tip of his cock hitting every flesh from the inside.

"Ma..yuri.. mhmmm I thought you were.. tired?" You said in confusion, surprised that he has such a stamina to fuck you like the beast he is.

"So what, want me to slow down?" He said teasingly, hips still moving but in such unsatisfying slow pace.

His eyes fixated on your bouncing breasts, smacking them multiple time before licking the sensitive buds with the tip of his tongue slowly. You arched your back in response.

"Mayuri..can you just please..faster?" You begged him. He could feel your pussy squeezing his dick harder than before and he absolutely prided himself for this. "Fine, since you begged for it" with that his thrust getting faster than before until your knees getting weak and your legs are shaking. "who do you belong to? Huh?" He asked in a husky voice as his right hand pressed against your neck. "Answer me"

"you, I'm belong to you alone" your answer satisfied him. A few more thrust and he felt something...

"Ah fuck.."

He whimpered and shoot his warm cum deep inside your pussy, not dare to move yet since he don't want to spill it. Your pussy now filled with his sticky semen and it feels so good...

He inserted two of his fingers inside your pussy, pumping it in and out. "Mayuri bae.. i think that's enough ah.." you can't handle the overstimulation and felt like you almost reach your second orgasm.

"Did you just call me your bae?" He said excitedly as he pulled his fingers that covered with his own semen mixed with your wetness and shove it to your mouth. "Say it again, I want to hear it" The blue hair captain sure enjoying this judging by huge smile that appeared on his handsome face. Seeing you struggle to get the words out is so cute for him.

"My Ma..yuri bae" struggling with your own words since his fingers toying with your tongue now. "Hmm?" He brought his face closer to yours this time, fingers still inside your mouth. "Mayuri..bae.. i love.. you" finally, the words he wanted to hear. "You're mine" he whispered and pull his fingers from your mouth.

Mayuri smiles at you before his body collapse to the bed. "Mayuri, are you ok?" You went into panic mode and try to wake him up. "My dick is exhausted and you expecting me to have any stamina left? Since you brought me here I should get my sleep" he murmured and pulled you to lie down with him. He snuggle against your chest, squeezing and playing with your breasts.

"Hey..Mayuri.."

"What? Can't your own man touching your breasts?"

Ok that caught you off guard, but that's not what you want to ask him. "What if you impregnate me?" The question you asked him brought him back to reality. Well he did cum inside you but he didn't remember impregnate you was part of the plan. After a few minutes of thinking, he has made up his mind.

And it will change everything..

"We will keep the baby..my love, I'll make you my wife and Nemu will have little sibling" he said and kissed your lips once more before both of you fall asleep.

~~~~

Nemu: Good morning, mother

Y/n: Mother..?

Nemu: Master Mayuri told me to call you mother starting from today, mother.

Y/n: omg * blushing*

Akon: I want to be the cool uncle—

~~~~

#bleach #mayuri kurotsuchi #bleach scenarios #mayuri kurotsuchi x reader #mayuri x reader #bleach x y/n #idk i think this one kinda wholesome

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wickedlyqueer · 2 years ago

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Hey, "punk" anon here. Selling out means compromising one's principles. It is not about making money. My point is that everyone was dreading Ariana being in Wicked, then they turned around and said she is going to do great. If Wicked is for people who feel like they don't fit in, then I think it's hypocritical to cast a pop princess with millions of followers in that type of musical.

Yes, I figured you meant selling out in the figurative sense, I still think it's an overstatement—but hey—overstating the offense; what else is new on the internet?

Even a "pop princess with millions of followers" can feel like a misfit. if anything, it can be quite lonely at the top. and unless you know grande personally, all you know is the image she's cultivated (and from the little bits and bops i've heard, she has crafted a persona right down to her hairstyle).

Hmm. by the way, does this remind you of someone else? idk a certain character who gets praised by the masses, but feels lonely bc the one person who treated her as an equal abandoned her?

Will Ariana be able to portray that nuance in her role as Glinda? 🤷 I don't know yet, and that's the entire point. At most, i'm ambivalent about Ariana Grande. so i'll just wait and see what she brings.

What I do know is that this will be the last time you'll get to use my inbox as a mouthpiece. I won't bother answering any more of these asks publicly. If you already don't like Ariana Grande as movie!Glinda for whatever reason, that's your petty grudge to deal with. Kick a rock. Tape her photo to a boxing bag and smash that to let your frustration out. frankly, i don't care. just don't bother venting your anonymous frustrations to me, a random person on the internet, after this.

#sam's asks #im tired

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the-firebird69 · 1 year ago

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Watch "Silverback Gorilla Beating His Chest #mountaingorilla #silverbackgorilla #gorillatrekking" on YouTube

These things are killers and they bring down full size wildebeest that way 1200 lb and this guy's in that case he is in that case is the lunatic and it's alive the movie coming up and he thinks he's invincible because of Elysium and it's a movie that he thinks everybody needs it for and nobody wants him to see what he's trying to see so he says it's covered so yeah if you want an acid bath for cover and it says well that's great this is not a way to treat some animal it's because of what you're teaching it this is one of my teaching it the food is him or there he says oh yeah this is crazy I said yeah it is and the animals and innocent animal is just doing his job but you'll die if you keep doing it. Just watch the tape you'll see she watches the tape and he says he's kind of advancing whenever he can it looks like he's going to jump up and get me and the legs are stressed it was that's a stupid thing to do and he started to Yammer then he said I got to stop and try to let him go and he called the nuisance people I haven't been feeding him but I've been feeding him and you know we're going to try to rest him he said look I caught him running around out there and he was hungry and starving and now he won't leave and it sounds fenced off, he said more of them will come in if I open it up and he won't leave when I open it so it took away and they believed him sort of then they said this would be back for you in a moment and he told him no you won't and they got that. Now they set him off and there's jerks and it is not his parents is bja and they do it to each other kids and it's horrible we just want to show you what they're like with things that are stuck here and people

Thor Freya

It's a horrible experience we don't want anyone to have to suffer through it but a lot of people are now this evike is helping and it's also a pain but really A lot of people are using it tons of people are buying this one the electric and it's the 500 watt it's going out the door very fast it is really nice

Nuada Ariana

Is the commuter and it is really nice I have too many sales and I'm opening tons of factories right now

Olympus

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tf-lilyj · 1 year ago

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"Gaining something from it?" She inquired, raising an eyebrow. What could he possibly be benefiting from her blushing? Lily pondered, although perhaps it was just Sebastian's way of saying she was peculiar in an endearing manner. Lily was aware that this man was the kindest and most affectionate person she had ever encountered, so she shouldn't question it, but she couldn't help herself. None of the people she had ever dated or been involved with treated her like that. It was all an act, but Seb… Lily knew he was being genuine, and that meant more to her than he would ever comprehend. The atmosphere around them subtly shifted as Sebastian mentioned his desire to attract someone specific. There was a pause, a moment of silence between them. Curiosity compelled Lily to want to know more, yet she also felt hesitant. She knew that Sebastian could easily have anyone he desired. He was everything a girl could possibly dream of. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she gazed up at Seb as he spoke. Her deep brown eyes studied his handsome face and expression, "You already know how charming and debonair you are, Seb. People tell you this all the time." She confessed, not bothering to conceal the rosy hue on her cheeks. She knew it was futile; she had been caught. "You are simply too sweet for your own good." Putting away her guitar, Lily chuckles at his words, "Should I? I'm not sure, I'm definitely not Ariana Grande or Mariah Carey." She admits with a smile and a chuckle. "I enjoy singing for fun, but I don't think I would ever pursue it professionally. Just going to karaoke nights with you would be enough for me." She admits with a smile as they both head towards the door. It surprises Lily that she doesn't blush at yet another compliment, but maybe it's because she's too focused on his kind smile and those beautiful blue eyes. Lily sighs contentedly, wanting to get lost in those pools of blue. When he wraps his arm around her, Lily turns her head and tries not to smile at the small gesture, but the chilly weather surprisingly helps her hide her fluttering emotions from what Sebastian did. Lily leans into Sebastian's side, enjoying the warmth of his arm around her as they walk through the snow. She smiles at his words, nodding in agreement. "I understand what you mean. There's something magical about the snow. It brings out a different kind of beauty in everything." As they stroll, Lily takes a moment to think before responding to his question. "Well, the trip has been amazing so far. I've been loving exploring the city and trying out new places to eat. The food here is incredible, by the way." She grins, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "And yesterday, I went ice-skating and watched a Christmas play. It was quite an experience, I have to say! I fell in love with how they portrayed their Christmas romance, but it was so much fun." She pauses for a moment, considering his last question. "Hmm, there's actually something I haven't done yet, but I really want to. I've never been sledding before, and I think it would be a blast to go down a hill on a sled. Also, I really want to visit the amusement park here. I've heard it's a lot of fun. What about you? Is there anything you haven't had a chance to do yet?"

A hand came up to rest over his heart, a genuine smile curving at his lips, “I’m glad I could be of service. Though I feel like I’m really the one gaining something from it.” He chuckles. He loved when she laughed, the smile that would emerge, the way her nose wrinkles… he snapped himself out of those very thoughts, bringing him back here, out of his mind. A brow lifts as he waits for her to finish the sentence, her sentence throwing him off but he was good to not show it. However, he wasn’t able to stop the blush that painted his cheeks with a light shade of red. “I'm easy on the eyes?” He chuckles, “Have you looked in a mirror recently? You have no idea how beautiful you are.” He tilts his head side to side with a laugh, “That’s… definitely an ego boost.” he nods, “But there’s really only one person I want to attract.” And on that, he said nothing more.

Hues barely catch the way she reacts to him as he walks out, thanking the Gods above that he took really hot showers and parts of his skin was already red. It was impossible to tell what was red due to the hot shower, or what was a blush. “You should sing more, by the way.” The comment sounds between them, “You have a really nice voice.” He compliments the small smile dancing on his lips. Her voice sounded and he noticed it was a bit more high pitched than normal, a soft chuckle emitting past his lips as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

“So much better.” He answers with a wide smile. Nice hot showers after a long workout were some of Sebastian’s favorites, hanging out in the hot tub was a very close second. Making sure he had his phone and wallet on him, Sebastian follows Lily out, the chilled air being a vast contrast between the once hot shower that he was in. He takes in the snow falling around them, then hues fall to the woman beside him as she admires the snow falling. While she admired that, he admired her. He tosses an arm over her shoulders, gently pulling her close to him as they walked. “I love summer just as much as the next person, but the snow is my favorite.” It called for cozy nights, hot chocolate, the overall joy people had about them around this time of year. “It was good. I couldn’t sleep and working out usually helps.” He’d be able to sleep later tonight. “Oh, I am.” He chuckles, “I’ve been doing a lot of things here and there. What about you? Have you been enjoying the trip so far? Anything exciting happen? Anything you haven't done that you want to?"

#chit chat:sebastian

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silkgonerough · 4 years ago

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Astrology Observation/rants? #1

❤️I’ve noticed that people who have venus unaspected in their chart are incredibly attractive idk why???

👸Moon trine/conjunct venus is such a nice placement to have in regards to people in general but especially to the opposite sex. I feel like ppl tend to treat you more gently and kindly bc of it’s feminine energy. It gives a prince/princess charm to the natives mannerisms bc they’re so kind and warm! Men with this placement are kind of babied and seen in higher regards by women (especially older women!!) and the women are kind of protected and nurtured through men. This also goes both ways where women with this placement probably have amazing relationships with other women and the guys are that one friend who has a lowkey bromance with all of his friends lol,, It’s rlly hard to see these ppl in a malefic or fearful light.

🙎‍♀️Moon in Scorpio females have eyes that can pierce through your soul

💆Men with Aquarius venus and Capricorn Mars are top tier

👄Women with Scorpio venus are usually very pretty and sexy and known for their sex appeal if famous

💅Capricorn + gemini venus or rising women are really pretty and make great models

👯‍♀️Lilith in eighth house is considered a sex symbol placement (Brigitte Bardot, Elvis Presley, Angelina Jolie, Sophia Loren)

🤔I would say gemini and virgo risings are the hardest signs to identify because of their mercurial rulership and mutability unlike Pisces and Sagittarius where there are clear distinctions in facial features and physique because of the Jupiter/Neptune affect (long legs, round faces, prominent forehead and eyes) gemini and virgo can easily be dominated by other planets in contact with the ascendant or first house but both signs give someone a very youthful doll like glow

🧠People tend to shit on hard Saturn contacts but I find that with time they usually evolve beautifully and the aspect can become a huge benefic but only with hard work. Saturn is the only planet that rewards for perseverance and patience but it’s always worth it

🥰Leo and Virgo’s are actually really similar in what they expect from themselves and others. They both just want to be appreciated and considered important to those around them.

👩‍🦳No matter what signs are involved sun conjunct venus always has a very feminine and pleasent face usually with a prominent forehead,, they’re also rlly well captured in photographs!

🤳Mars square Neptune probably had a period where they may have read a lot of dirty fanficton or fantasized about weird concepts sexually

🌝Leo moons are WAY more of attention seekers then leo suns im sorry but it’s like their emotional well-being depends on the amount of attention they get whereas Leo suns don’t necessarily ask for it bc they just attract it naturally with their aura (this isn’t every leo moon ofc just the ones I’ve observed)

🤦‍♂️I think Virgo suns are more critical of those around them and how that affects who they are whereas Virgo moons tend to be more critical of themselves and how their actions affect their surroundings

🦵I’ve noticed Mars in the 1st house females are usually rlly toned and skinny with long legs

💃Mars in Virgo is known as being prudish or like a not sexy placement of Mars and I rlly beg to differ, I swear every person that the general public’s been obsessed with when it comes to being hot has this (Dylan O brien, Austin Butler, Idris Alba, Blake Lively, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Felton, Ariana grande, Johnny depp, Britney Spears?!! there’s so many more u guys need to get on this)

🥴Aries moons are all about talking the talk but I swear half the time are not walking the walk and when they do they’ve talked shit to about 6 ppl already and waited for like a week before telling u how they feel

🤡Pisces moons (myself being one) can be so fucking stupid when it comes to liking someone I swear. We tend to make excuses for them and cling to whatever image we’ve set up in our head on who they are. Once evolved though it’s way easier for us to see ppl for who they are off the bat without going through the emotional distress!

😒I can confirm that we attract whatever signs in our eighth house mines in Aries and I swear to god not a year has gone by where an Aries man hasn’t infiltrated my life

👗people who have venus in the second house are the definition of quality over quantity!! always dressed so well with the cutest jewelry. They’re style carries libra energy :)

🥺Aries sun men are some of the most sensitive ppl I’ve ever met!! I didn’t realize it at first but they’re rlly soft and uwu. I don’t know how to explain it but think of Eren from AOT or Natsu from Fairy Tail! They’re kind of like a cheeky kid you want to protect at all costs

🤝I think a lot of square aspects can work in your favor if there’s a specific trine or conjunct aspect that’s energy can balance it out once activated if that makes sense ? Like for example I have venus square neptune and I used to put myself in alot of unnecessary painful situation bc I had a problem with deluding myself when it came to liking someone. Yet I was always aware that the person was not right for me or the situation was toxic bc of my sun conjunct pluto. The Sun/Pluto aspect has kind of forced me to be more aware of the venus/neptune affect and I’ve grown a lot stronger through those painful plutonic experiences in love and I can see through other people’s intentions for what they are with ease. I think that sun/pluto helped cancel out my delusion by making me go through a lot of intense experiences to finally understand what I was doing and see things for what they were.

🧛🏽‍♀️Going off of that I don’t care what anyone else says I LOVE MY PLUTO ASPECTS and trust me their pretty shitty (sun conjunct pluto, moon square pluto, pluto square asc). I’ve been put into some rlly crazy situations for only being 18 but I can go into the world with a lot more awareness of who I am and the people around me. I like the intensity they bring and the forcefulness of change in my habits and life. Pluto has made me a rlly strong person in terms of persevering through life and it’s challenges. I thank pluto for that.

👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏼👨🏾‍🤝‍👨🏻👩🏿‍🤝‍👩🏼I think one of my favorite placements I have that is also super favorable in others is Jupiter in the 11th house! This may seem kind of random but the amount of opportunities and cool experiences I’ve been given through my friends and social circles is something I’m soo thankful for🙏 Friendship and just being a friendly person in general is something I’ve always found luck and happiness in and it’s so rewarding to have so many ppl like and support u for who u are! Making friends with ppl online and making friends from friends is super easy with this placement as well💞

#astro observations #astrology #natal astrology #natal aspects #astro rant

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trothplighted · 3 years ago

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You bring up a fascinating point. There's scant canon detail about Ariana's personality. We know she had outbursts, had to be coaxed to eat, etc, and that made fandom assume she was childlike and not mentally competent (in the legal sense) due to intense trauma. But it could could also have been severe depression? If she knew she had an incurable condition that kept her from school, helped put her father in prison, made outcasts of her family, and caused her mother's death? That's a heavy load

it is!! and I have a lot to say about that! but before we dig into it, I do want to talk about why I never assumed she was childlike or mentally incompetent, which means (sigh) I have to talk about Aberforth again

there's a conception I've seen floating around that criticism of Aberforth (people assuming he's a homophobe, mostly) is due to shipping, and wanting him to be the bad guy in the Grindeldore story, and I've never felt that way at all, so I want to set that out from the start. Aberforth has always made me profoundly uncomfortable basically since 2007 when I read the book, and it's always been because of how he treated Ariana.

see, I view him as a somewhat unreliable narrator. I think that he accurately recounts the facts of what happened, but his emotional state colors his opinions, and the conclusions he draws don't textually add up. I think that's true of his account of Albus and Gellert's relationship, and I think it's true of his version of events surrounding Ariana.

why?

because JKR plays with unreliable narration in exactly this kind of way, multiple times per book. It's one of the core elements of the series. Harry will always witness something, or overhear a conversation, or come across evidence, and he draws incorrect conclusions from it. the facts get conveyed accurately to the audience, but the assumptions and feelings of the person witnessing those facts are almost always incorrect and stay that way until the end of the story when they're all explained correctly and the truth is revealed. it's not just Harry, either - the whole of wizarding society does this with regard to Sirius Black. this is something she does many times on purpose. I don't think it's unfair to say that Aberforth's version of the story is factually accurate but missing or omitting several important contextual pieces.

okay, so why do I feel he's that way about Ariana? well, the short answer is "because I'm disabled, and the way he talks about her skeeves me out majorly and has for years."

we the readers see absolutely no external proof that she was feeble-minded, or childlike, or that she couldn't take care of herself on a very basic level. Albus never says it in the King's Cross conversation, Bathilda and Muriel and Elphias never mention it, Rita's book never mentions it. the only person who insists this is true is Aberforth. we're supposed to take his word as gospel here... except for the fact that Albus doesn't think she's too sick to travel? Albus never admits in the books that he pushed his sister too far, that he overtaxed her, that he ignored her. And he's very open about his flaws - if he'd failed in this way, he'd own up to it! Plus, disabled people can travel internationally! we can go on vacations! we can have exciting lives! why should Aberforth be the one deciding for his sister what she can or can't do when he's only a year older than her, and Albus is the adult in the house?

plus, if we're meant to assume she's an Obscurial, if we take into account the FB movies? Credence is walking around Europe, and talking to people, and can live safely in a house with strangers, and can go on missions! they can speak in full sentences and feed themself and survive on their own! why is Ariana doomed to be quiet and childlike forever while Credence puts the lie to that assumption?

and the FB movies paint Aberforth in a kinder light than the books do - he's much less resentful and much less bitter - and Albus talks about the duel again, but despite the good guys being more good and the bad guys being more bad? this time there's no mention of Ariana being too sick to be moved. the fight happens because Albus and Gellert want to go away, and Ariana dies because she tries to stop it from happening.

as a result, I have to say that I think the assumption that she was traumatized into helplessness is 100% fanon. yes, I'm aware I'm loud and angry about this, I'm really sorry lmao I get heated when there's ableism on the table.

basically, I'll trust what Aberforth says when I get objective proof that didn't come from his testimony that Ariana actually was as much of an invalid as he insists. and because of that, I think it is much more likely that she had chronic depression and a serious anxiety disorder and cognitive impairments more in line with traditional neurodivergence than anything else. before the attack she seems to be a bright, inquisitive, magically talented little girl - she's doing noticeable wandless magic at six years old! holy shit, that's genuinely prodigious! and unless Ariana had, like, severe lasting brain damage from the attack? that's not someone who was born with the kind of severe intellectual disabilities that a perpetually childlike demeanor and intelligence would suggest. she isn't developmentally delayed in terms of her brainpower, she's ahead of the curve.

but after the attack? everything changed for the worse. she had to fight to control herself at six years old, barely understanding what had happened to her. she had to live for eight years knowing that she was the reason her father went to jail, she was the reason they had to move to a new house, she was the reason her family was sad and broken and depressed, she was the reason her brothers didn't get along, and if she ever let herself feel anything about her attack, or her circumstances? she could kill someone! that's so much for a little girl to have to live with! she can't go to school, she can't make friends, she has to live her life like one of the secret children from Margaret Peterson Haddix's Shadow Children books, forever indoors and unable to show her face. and then she's the reason her mother dies, and she can't even cry at Kendra's funeral, because if she does she might blow the place up.

put simply, I would kill for Ariana Dumbledore. she deserved so much better.

#ariana #ariana dumbledore #troth's meta #harry potter #replies

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pet-genius · 4 years ago

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The Death Eaters as a Cult - Part 1

This is a very lightly edited old Reddit post, that I'll publish in parts because the whole thing is like 7000 words. Analyzing Voldemort, the DE and their dynamics, Dumbledore and Harry in comparison, and individual Death Eaters. Hope you like it!

Some say Voldemort is a cartoon villain, or wizard Hitler. I think he is very realistic, and that the focus on his political aspirations ignores interesting aspects of him. I cannot prove that JKR had cults in mind when she wrote Voldemort and his followers, but this is how I read them. It’s nearly impossible to define a cult, so, for the purpose hereof, I’m going with “a group dedicated to the worship of a person”. Many cult leaders in real life present themselves merely as “god’s voice” or “the messiah”, but Voldemort specifically didn’t bother to hide behind a power higher than himself.

Tom Riddle comes from humble beginnings, like many cult leaders - he’s raised in an orphanage. He already has delusions of grandeur, only in this case they’re not delusions, because he really is magic, which makes it all the more dangerous. Look how he reacted to discovering he was a wizard, and how Harry did.

Immediately following the revelation that Lily and James did not die in a car crash, and that Harry is famous, and that he survived an attempt at his life by the worst wizard in history:

Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He’d spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn’t they been turned into warty toads every time they’d tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he’d once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?

“Hagrid,” he said quietly, “I think you must have made a mistake. I don’t think I can be a wizard.”

Heart-breaking. Harry doesn’t believe he can be special, he blames himself for the way he’s treated.

This is Tom Riddle:

“I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic.”

There was silence. Riddle had frozen, his face expressionless, but his eyes were flickering back and forth between each of Dumbledore’s, as though trying to catch one of them lying. “Magic?” he repeated in a whisper.

“That’s right,” said Dumbledore.

“It’s... it’s magic, what I can do?”

“What is it that you can do?”

“All sorts,” breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. “I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.”

His legs were trembling. He stumbled forward and sat down on the bed again, staring at his hands, his head bowed as though in prayer.

“I knew I was different,” he whispered to his own quivering fingers. “I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something.”

His megalomania and violent nature are already apparent, as is his preternatural control of his magic. It also hints at rudimentary legilimency.

Dumbledore spells out that young Tom Riddle equated magic with immortality and liked to collect trophies, and that Tom Riddle liked being special, as he resents the name Tom for being too common; he already lives behind a mask and only shows his true face in shock. This, and not Dumbledore’s magical prowess, is what always scared Tom. Voldemort knew Dumbledore knew what he was. That was the only tactical advantage Dumbledore had.

It’s also one of JKR’s strokes of brilliance: Dumbledore saw Tom for what Tom was, and others never did until it was too late, not because he was that clever, but because he knew from experience. Dumbledore had allowed himself to fall for a charismatic but heartless man before, and it took Ariana dying to slap him awake. Dumbledore knows good people can be led astray: It happened to him. It has nothing to do with intelligence or “goodness”. Gellert was able to give Albus exactly what Albus lacked, stuck at home taking care of Ariana: the promise of freedom and a bright future, and the companionship of an equal. Albus fell for it, despite warning signs that should have been obvious.

Later, we know Tom is chosen by a wand of yew and phoenix feather. Both yew and phoenix are associated with immortality; yew trees are very long-lived. Compare this to Harry’s wand, holly and phoenix feather: both these characters will experience death and rebirth, except Tom Riddle’s wand tree is yew, and Harry’s is holly.

From Wikipedia: “The Christian church commonly found it expedient to take over existing pre-Christian sacred sites for churches. It has also been suggested that yews were planted at religious sites as their long life was suggestive of eternity, or because, being toxic when ingested, they were seen as trees of death.” Also from Wikipedia: “Christians have identified a wealth of symbolism in the holly tree’s form. The sharpness of the leaves help to recall the crown of thorns worn by Jesus; the red berries serve as a reminder of the drops of blood that were shed for salvation; and the shape of the leaves, which resemble flames, can serve to reveal God's burning love for His people.”

The two orphans’ wildly different views of death are also apparent in their wand trees. Voldemort will murder to attain his goals; Harry will sacrifice himself. That the phoenix feather came from Fawkes is also meaningful - Dumbledore taught both magic in some capacity, but he never could defeat Voldemort, because they’re too alike. One of Harry’s advantages in this battle is the integrity of his soul, which cannot be compromised.

Next, Tom Riddle is sorted into Slytherin. For a child who is already prone to megalomania, the house values bring out the worst in him, and under Slughorn, he grows into a manipulative, cunning, ruthless young man. I’m not blaming Horace for Tom being a psychopath, but some of the particular ways his psychopathy manifested in seem to have been directly due to Slughorn’s influence. Slughorn is a blood-supremacist, who was convinced Tom must come from fine stock. Slughorn tests drinks for poison using house elves; Tom Riddle tests the effectiveness of his Horcrux’s protection on Kreacher. Slughorn emphasizes the importance of connections and outright praises Tom for knowing more than he needs to, and encourages an attitude of “it’s only wrong if you get caught.” But Slughorn, prejudiced and cunning as he is, is not violent - he is academically curious about Horcruxes, but he finds them repugnant. Tom’s heart is not so faint - at the point of asking Slughorn about Horcruxes, the diary is already a horcrux, and Tom has already murdered his father. This is how Dumbledore describes Tom’s original gang, who were the proto-Death Eaters:

As he moved up the school, he gathered about him a group of dedicated friends; I call them that, for want of a better term, although as I have already indicated, Riddle undoubtedly felt no affection for any of them. This group had a kind of dark glamour within the castle. They were a motley collection; a mixture of the weak seeking protection, the ambitious seeking some shared glory, and the thuggish gravitating toward a leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty. In other words, they were the forerunners of the Death Eaters, and indeed some of them became the first Death Eaters after leaving Hogwarts. Rigidly controlled by Riddle, they were never detected in open wrongdoing, although their seven years at Hogwarts were marked by a number of nasty incidents to which they were never satisfactorily linked, the most serious of which was, of course, the opening of the Chamber of Secrets, which resulted in the death of a girl. As you know, Hagrid was wrongly accused of that crime.

Dumbledore explains what motivated people to join Tom: some were afraid, some ambitious, some cruel. He controlled his so-called friends, and already started framing others for his own crimes (Hagrid’s framing was followed by Morfin’s and Hokey the house elf’s).

This is followed by Tom’s attempt to become a teacher (Dumbledore spells out his motivations: He is attached to the school, he wants to study its magic, and he already wants to build himself an army). He is denied, oddly chooses to work for Borgin and Burkes, a choice fueled by the desire to trace down more items to make into Horcruxes. Through the memory of the meeting with Heptzibah Smith, we see that Tom was definitely charming when he needed to be, and knew how to make people feel good. He did not use magic to trick her into showing him her precious locket and cup: he used muggle manipulation - flattery, making an old and forlorn lady feel valuable, perhaps even flirting with her (she’s certainly flirting with him). He was pleasant enough that Ms. Smith eagerly looked forward to his visits - but as she showed him her treasures, he was caught off guard by hearing about his mother and how she sold the locket, and she saw him for what he was, although she quickly fell into denial. Sadly, she was murdered two days later.

Why rely on Horcruxes to gain immortality? Tom must have known about Nicholas Flamel and the Philosopher’s Stone, and the Horcruxes require someone else to perform the resurrection ritual. Either making the Stone is so hard that it would deter Tom (unlikely), or he already expected to rely on followers who would find him and revive him - he certainly seems to have expected his followers to have searched for him earlier. Maybe Horcruxes were appealing because they require murder. In any case, this is followed by the memory of Tom asking Dumbledore for the DADA job again, a decade later. Tom has spent a decade gathering followers, and he has already changed his name to Lord Voldemort. This is reminiscent of real life cult leader David Koresh, and the leaders of the Children of God, Aum Shinrikyo, etc. The meeting between Voldemort and Albus is interesting, because it’s clear that Dumbledore had tried to teach Tom about the power of love:

“The old argument,” he said softly. “But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.”

“Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places,” suggested Dumbledore.

This did not help. Tom never learned - how could he? At 16, he was already a murderer - who could love him now for who he was? He could never be truly loved, and he could never truly love another, and he underestimated the power of love for his entire life, leading to his downfall - twice (were that it was so simple in real life).

Voldemort is trying to obfuscate the nature of the relationship, like all cults - they never admit this is what they are.

“I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,” said Dumbledore. “I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.”

“You are mistaken,” said Voldemort.

But LV can’t lie to Dumbledore, who changes the subject. He denies him the DADA job again, and the curse is placed on the job. LV’s ascent is due to begin in a few years. Hagrid tells the story:

Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin’ fer followers. Got ’em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o’ his power, ’cause he was gettin’ himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn’t know who ter trust, didn’t dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches...

Voldemort isn’t just interested in immortality. He wants complete control. He wants everyone fearing him - even fearing his name. He has people isolated and distrustful, fearing for their lives.

But we know his reign of terror was dreadful - what I’m interested in is the way he treated his own followers. We know little about how he treated them in the first war, but we do have what Sirius had to say about Regulus’s fate:

From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. Well, you don’t just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It’s a lifetime of service or death.

We know the real story of Regulus’s disappearance, and it’s different. Kreacher tells us that Regulus died in the Horcrux cave - but more telling is that Regulus forbade Kreacher from telling his parents what had happened to him. Why did he feel the need to do that? This suggests that Regulus knew LV destroyed traitors’ families, which is a tactic used in cults and other abusive dynamics. We know LV would leverage Draco’s welfare against Lucius for his failure in the Department of Mysteries, too. We know also that instead of going to Dumbledore, or to his own brother, Regulus chose death – unless he was really dumb, and I don’t think he was, he must have been manipulated into believing that was his only option, or his world made no sense after his faith had shattered. So many people never readjust to life outside the cult.

Voldemort “dies” about two years after that, having successfully recruited about 400 followers (“the death eaters outnumbered us the Order 20:1” - Lupin). We can’t say if all these people were genuine Death Eaters or people who had been Imperiused or otherwise coerced, or allies like Narcissa, but that coercion is used to recruit shows that Voldemort did not take his own followers’ ambitions and wishes into account. People who use outright coercion don't suddenly draw the line at manipulation.

#death eaters #cult #death eater meta #voldemort #voldemort meta #harry potter #meta

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heartoftheserpent · 3 years ago

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Dumbledore Bros anon here - Amazing post and I agree with everything you said!! The description of what caused the three way duel is so vague in the books and Aberforth calling Albus and/or Gellert a slur makes so much sense. The whole "Albus learn't lies and secrets at our mothers knee" has me wondering if Ariana was the product of an affair?? She doesn't seem to look much like the boys in the book description. Really interested in your Kendra/Percival thoughts as well... :)

I also do want to add (because I forgot to) that bit where Aberforth mentions that he saw everything that happened in that house - everything. It does genuinely feel to me like he is trying to shame Albus for what he and Gellert were to each other. Like, dude, if my sister dated a scumbag I wouldn't bring up thirty years later that she did in fact have sex with him whenever I was mad. But of course, it's very easy to bring out that shame and self-loathing in Albus - and of course, that's weaponized often against queer people in general. "Don't forget, I know what you are, I know what you did."

Even if male homosexuality is treated differently in the wizarding world than the Muggle world at the time, Mould-on-the-Wold and Godric's Hollow were both mixed villages, with Muggles living there side by side. There's cultural bleedover for sure.

After some thoughts on the subject, here's where I'm landing on "secrets and lies" stuff: I think Aberforth was very affected by the sudden shift in the family paradigm when they moved. I think it was really really hard for him to adjust to the transition from "mildly eccentric family living happily together" to "father in prison, sister unstable," and I think he resented that Kendra and Albus were able to make that switch with what to Aberforth looked like relative ease. They were able to adapt to this new dynamic, both being clever, being good actors, and frankly they both had so much responsibility (as the Only Parent Left and the Oldest Child) that they didn't have a choice. Aberforth, whose mind doesn't quite work the same way (see @trothplighted for some truly excellent Dumbledore family ND headcanons), must have felt like The Only Sane Man for having trouble accepting this new way of life.

FULL DISCLOSURE, my Kendra and Percival headcanons are not based on ANYTHING, these are Full Blorbos based on the fact that I've loved them without any canon content for 15 years so I had to make my own (with, again, significant aid from Troth, with whom I share most or all of my headcanons, because being friends in fandom for a long time will do that to you). Frankly I don't even know where these headcanons came from, but.

Percival in my hc had a difficult relationship with his family and his Expected Place, and wound up running away to the New World. Kendra similarly had ditched her family when they tried to pressure her into marriage, and disguised herself as a boy. The two of them met while they were riding the rails, both hopping trains around the Canadian Pacific Railway in the early 1880s. The romanticization of that lifestyle for young people is usually really overblown, since it was incredibly dangerous and usually short-lived. However, I think for two young wizards it might have been a lot different.

They eventually met and fell in love, Kendra comes clean about being a girl, Percy doesn't care, they wind up bumming around the country getting into trouble and laughing it off for a few years. Percy gets an owl that his father has died and left him some property back in England, which he ignores - until he and Kendra accidentally get into too much trouble, and suddenly, retiring to a quiet life in England to hide doesn't sound like such a bad idea.

I see their first few years in England as the both of them working very hard to Play Their Roles - Percy trying to figure out how to be a Dad and a British Man when it's everything he ran away from, Kendra trying to figure out on the fly how to be a Wife and a Mom and a British Witch, both of them startled that they're pulling it off, even more startled that they really like their quiet lives as parents.

All of that is COMPLETE fabrication because I Like It. Here's the bit where I think I have more of a leg to stand on: I think the weird "The Dumbledores are an important family" thing is Gellert ascribing importance to himself, they're important to HIM. They're an old magical family, but they're not powerful or wealthy or influential.

Case in point, Percival.

Because if three boys (in my hc they're 15-17) are able to burst into your garden and hurt your daughter so badly she's never the same again, if you're so afraid of your daughter being taken away from you that you have no other recourse, you're NOT a powerful, influential family. Someone like the Blacks or the Malfoys could have simply put Ariana on their private estate somewhere, or bribed Ministry officials to have her "overlooked," or never have been vulnerable at all in the first place.

My further headcanon is that the reason he killed the boys rather than modify their memories is that they were attempting to blackmail the Dumbledores, to out them as freaks and weirdoes to the rest of the town or even the authorities, and he was afraid they'd left letters or written proof that would jog their memories (he's not that gifted at Memory charms). Percy knew he'd go to Azkaban for it, isn't a violent man, but saw it as protecting his daughter from being locked up her whole life. And. Frankly. Seeing them again, knowing what they did to Ariana, I don't think it was that hard for him to summon the killing curse.

(and for maximum pain, I hc that he didn't have any bad memories with Kendra, so he forgot her completely in Azkaban when the Dementors took all his happy memories. :) )

#once again i went on far too long #Dumbledore family #asks

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ambria · 4 years ago

Text

everytime // Sirius Black

Sweetener x Marauders

play ‘everytime’ by Ariana Grande <3

pairing: sirius black x reader

word count: 2.3k ✨

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of drinking, under-age drinking, partying, depression?, mentions of drugs and drug use, someone trying to take advantage on the drunk reader, crying? Let me know if I missed something.

This also might have a few time jumps

A/N: I wrote this in 1st person but I feel like I should make these in 3rd so that’s what I’ll start doing. But this is also my first time making a one-shot fic so cut me some slack if it’s trash. But I hope you enjoy!

I get tired of your no-shows

Taking in the warmth through my fingers I look at the door once more before glancing at the clock.

He’s late. Again

I take a deep breath to cool down my nerves and sigh. I sip the rest of my butterbeer before looking at the entrance once more and packing my stuff and walking out. I look around once more before giving up and walking back to the castle.

You get tired of my control

As I’m walking back I start to get more irritated by the step. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. Always too busy to hang out because of him with his friends or too busy because of pranks. The missed dates and the interrupted times. All for his friends. I’m clearly not a priority in his life and that has to change or I’m not going to be in it.

Walking through the castle I collect my thoughts on how I’m gonna approach this situation. But since I’m so pissed off, I’m gonna take an angry approach.

I walk up to the gryffindor common room and say the password before walking in.

As I stepped into the common room, lo and behold, the marauders spread on the couches talking loudly and laughing. Seeing that made my blood boil. As I walk over I catch the attention of the brunet,

“Y/N!!!!! Hey!!!” The Potter boy called out. I gave a weak smile. Which caught the attention of my boyfriend.

“Hey, babe.” He smiled at me. I internally roll my eyes and keep an emotionless face on. At this point all the attention from the boys is on me.

“Hey. Can we talk?” In the corner of my eye I can see Remus and James glance at each other and look worriedly at Sirius. Yeah. They know better.

“Uhh. Sure. About what?” This time I rolled my eyes. I ignore his question and grab his hand before dragging him up to his dorm.

We enter and I close the door before leaning on it. He goes and sits on the foot on his bed.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.” Bouncing his knee, I can tell he’s getting impatient and just wants this to hurry up and be done with this. I get even more annoyed at this.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.”- I mocked him- “This is exactly what I’m talking about! You’re always busy! Doing this and doing that!” I start to raise my voice. My face starts to heat up due to my anger. I try to calm down but it doesn’t seem to be working.

He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off,

“Where were you today?! I was waiting for you! For our date that YOU literally planned!” His eyes widened with realization and looked at me with a guilty face. But I’m too pissed off to care.

My eyes start to water with tears of frustration but I’m nowhere near done,

“Everytime I want to hang out you’re always busy with your friends and pranks! You never have time for me anymore!” At this point tears are streaming down my face and Sirius doesn’t look that far behind.

“This is the third date you missed! Because you forgot! I’m done with being second best. Im probably not even that!” He has his head down, hands on his knees.

“I—I-I” he stutters out what I think is going to be some wack apology. But I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.

“No. I’m done.” As soon as I said those words his head shot up fast and looked at me with wide eyes.

“No-” he goes to protest but I cut him off again.

“No I can’t do this. Not anymore. This has gone on for too long. You need to fix your priorities. I hope you don’t treat another girl like this. I’m breaking up with you, Sirius.” I don’t wait for a reply and I simply walk out of the door and walk back down to the common room, wiping my tears.

They keep telling me to let go

As I make it to the common room I notice the boys are still there. They see me and go to talk but a loud sound cuts them off. Items getting thrown around, is what I guessed it to be.

We all freeze and guilt washes over me. It’s Sirius.

But I don’t really let go when I say so

I turn my head to the staircase with a sad expression before brushing it off.

I had to. I deserve better. I thought to myself.

I look over to the boys to see that they have worried but knowing expressions on their faces. I gave them weak smiles and walked away to my dorm.

I keep giving people blank stares

Drama travels fast around here at Hogwarts. So it wasn’t long until word got out that infamous Sirius Black was single again and back on the market.

My friends are starting to get worried about me because of my reaction to the breakup, or lack thereof. I know how to keep my emotions buried. I know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but I refuse to be sad over a boy who treated me like shit.

I’m so different when your not there

What they don’t know is that I cry myself to sleep. Everyday. I close my curtains around my bed and put a silencing spell around it and sob. For hours. It’s pretty sad.

But I keep my neutral face on for everyone else. From what I know Sirius isn’t doing much better. He’s just more open about his broken heart. Lily tells me he mopes around and doesn’t speak much anymore. Let alone prank anyone.

Everytime she tells me about him being sad it makes me want to run out the room and find him to cuddle with him and kiss him and apologize profusely for the break up.

But I remind myself that it’s not my fault and that I deserve better.

It’s like something out of Shakespeare

Because I’m really not here when you’re not there

I tried to fight our energy

It's been three months since the break up and I have developed some pretty bad habits.

I’ve secretly been drinking to numb the pain. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t seem to stop.

Once all my roommates are sleeping I drink by myself on my bed. It helped in the beginning but now I can’t stop.

I’ve perfected my fake smile so no one could tell the difference. Well one person did, but I was unaware.

I’m in a deep depression and I have no one to talk to. None of my friends know, I can’t tell them. They won’t understand.

Meanwhile,

“Pads, you can’t keep moping around. She’s moved on, you should too.”

“No, I can’t. I still love her.” Sirius said but due to him being face first on his pillow it came out muffled.

“Well then you’re going to have to work your way to get her back. Show her you’ve changed.” The werewolf suggested to his friend.

“Really?” He picks his head up to face his friends, red and puffy eyes with a hopeful expression.

They nod.

But everytime I think I’m free

As the weeks pass I start to receive notes and letters with little flowers attached to them. I know they are from Sirius but I can’t seem to open them and read. It’s too hard and I’m not ready yet.

You get high and call on the regular

Once I reach my empty dorm I run to my trunk and collect all the saved letters. I place them on my bed and chuck my shoes off before climbing on my bed while getting comfortable.

I sort the letter from how I received them. I slowly open the first one,

Dear y/n,

Looking at us now I regret a lot of things.

I don’t blame you for not seeing us together in the future.

I was horrible, but for you I am willing to change. No. I will change.

You deserve so much better and if you let me I could be that person.

But I have to fix myself in order for that to happen.

If you're willing I would love to have another chance.

forever yours,

Sirius

As I finish reading my eyes are cloudy with tears. I continue to read all of the letters.

And by the end of it I’m sobbing.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

I knew it was a bad idea to read those letters. Because after that I am ready to run back into his arms and express my love. But I can’t until I know that he’s changed.

I deserve better. I keep telling myself that.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

Everytime I see him now I try to avoid him. Everytime he’s in a room, I leave. Everytime class is over I run out before he gets the chance to talk to me.

Because I know if I take one look into his beautiful stormy gray eyes I will fall all over again. And that can’t happen.

I deserve better.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

It’s Friday night and today is the big Gryffindor party. Being stressed with liquor and drugs is not a good combo but I haven’t been safe these past couple of months.

I’m in my dorm room getting ready. I decide on a natural glam look with a bold red lip and a black satin body con dress with some black heels.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I can hear the music blasting and the red led lights are turned on. I part from my friends and immediately head to the liquor table. As I’m walking I fail to notice the pair of eyes following my every move.

I take a plastic red cup and I fill it up with the hardest liquor I could find on the table. After downing the cup I refill it and make my way over to my friends who are currently in the corner smoking what the muggles call ‘weed’. It’s strong but it helps me relax. Who knew muggle were so helpful.

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

About an hour into the party everyone was either high, drunk or both. Which I was. Again me with my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I ended up dancing in the middle of the room with a huge group of people. I feel eyes on me but I’m too drunk to care at the moment.

As I’m dancing I feel someone come up behind me and grab my hips. I turn around to see a random 7th year boy. He begins to trail his hands on my body.

He leans down to whisper in my ear,

“How about we go to my down, sweetheart?” His hot breath makes a shiver run down my spine, and not in a good way.

I began to shake my head while saying no but he clearly didn’t get the message because he gripped my wrists and tried to pull me with him. But because I was too drunk I couldn’t defend myself properly.

As I continue to struggle I see a person step in front of me, glaring at the boy,

“I suggest you let her go. Now.” I heard a familiar voice, I couldn’t tell who from my drunken state. Once the person turned around a smile involuntarily appeared on my face,

“Siri! Hi!” I giggled as he guided me away from everyone.

“Hi. Let’s get you somewhere safe.” He picks me up bridal style and starts to carry me up to the boys dorms and to his room.

I yawned and cuddled up into his chest,

“I’m still mad at you.” I mumbled. He set me down on his bed and goes to his trunk to take out some clothes,

“I know.” He said, sadly. As he’s helping me I go on a mini rant,

“You know you treated me horrible. I just wanted my boyfriend but you never made time for me. You missed dates, you cancelled on me a lot. And whenever we had time together alone you had to leave early. I just wanted you to give me your love and attention. But I was never a priority. I miss you so much, Siri.” After he tucks me into his bed he kisses my forehead and responds,

“I miss you too, baby.” He goes to walk away but I grab his hand. Which makes him turn around and give me a questioning look,

“Please stay.” I pout. He smiles and climbs into the bed with me. I turn to look at him,

“Cuddles?” I ask him with puppy eyes.

“Cuddles.” I snuggle up next to him with my head on his chest and my legs bunched up with his. He puts his chin on top of my head and begins to play with my hair.

“You know, I still love you. And I’m willing to give you a second chance, Siri.” I can’t see him but I can tell he has a huge grin on his face.

“I love you too, pup. Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” I start to drift off but before I do fully I feel him kiss my forehead again and whisper ‘I love you’ one last time before the darkness engulfed me.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

****

Taglist: @blackpinkdolan

If you want to be added to my taglist for this series message me or comment under the post.

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ectonurites · 4 years ago

Note

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

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talkfastromance4 · 4 years ago

Text

when i’m dreaming--calum hood oneshot

yeah so i’m going through something so this is very, very self-indulgent.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: drinking linked a little with coping, going through a depressive low, best friend!calum

feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

***

Calum notices something is wrong the minute she steps outside. He was about to take a drink of his white claw, but his eyes went to her nails when she pulled Crystal in for a hug. She typically paints them to match her mood and today they’re opalescent pink, barely noticeable but still there. In plain sight but still visible while she secretly wants to be invisible.

She smiles and cracks jokes with everyone she says hello to then when she steps in front of Calum, he sees the sadness in her eyes. They’ve been best friends for awhile now, they’ve shared secrets, stories of first loves and heartaches, their fears, their wildest dreams. But there was always something she kept hidden, tucked away in a box welded shut.

“Hey bud,” she sighs.

“Hey short stuff,” he grins playfully pulling her in for a hug. Her arms wrap around him and he makes sure to give her an extra tight squeeze.

“I’m not that short,” she grumbles in his chest.

“You’re shorter than me,” he reminds rubbing her shoulder with his thumb. Although her arms are loose around him he can feel the tension in her shoulders that she’s carrying.

“Stop hogging her! I haven’t seen her in weeks!” Ashton exclaims and Calum pulls away.

He knows it was too soon to break the hug but to keep up with her own façade he doubts anyone else sees, he does it.

“Hey, you’re the one who disappeared into the desert for all those weeks,” she jokes rising on her toes to loop her arms around Ashton’s neck.

He gives her a big bear hug that lifts her a few inches off the ground, Calum sees her nails digging into her arm as she squeezes him.

“Had to recenter myself, you should try it sometime,” Ashton teases right back. As if she was shocked, she removes herself from the hug then accepts a bottle of Mike’s from Luke.

“I can take something stronger than this, Hemmings,” she takes a large chug regardless.

“Yeah? Like tequila? I got some limes,” he jerks his thumb behind him towards the drink table.

“I said stronger not deadly. You know I can’t handle tequila,” she scrunches her nose.

Everyone else laughs but alarms are going off in Calum’s head.

“Yeah, the floor of my Tesla doesn’t like tequila either,” Michael chimes in with a tray of shots.

“I told you to pull over,” she shrugs lifting up a shot. She takes a whiff and nods in approval at his selected alcohol choice.

“I was going 75 on the freeway!”

“And that’s why I threw up. Ready?” she lifts her glass.

Calum meets her eyes as over the hands of their friends as Ashton gives an impromptu speech about friendship and long rides. He wasn’t really paying attention because when their eyes locked, he saw the panic, he saw the fear of whatever was going on in her head.

The next time he sees her is at the movies. Her eyes are darker along with her nails that are now a hunter’s green; camouflaged but still visible. While they’re waiting in line for snacks, he lifts her hand in his and runs his thumb over the color.

“This is a pretty color, I’ve never seen it on you before,” he says.

“Yeah, um…wanted to try something different,” she shrugs. “Do you want the blue icee?”

“Is that even a question?” he raises a brow, and she laughs.

Once they’re settled in the seats the previews start. Calum opens up the bags of sweet and sour treats while she opens the boxes of milk duds. The large bowl of popcorn (with extra butter) is settled between them, long red straws sticking out of their frozen drinks.

Throughout the whole movie, it’s an action romantic comedy, Calum keeps glancing at her. He watches her fingers disappear in the popcorn bowl, her hunter’s green nails appearing black in the dark theater. Calum’s seen enough movies to know this moment is foreshadowing the darkness she’s slipping into. He’s preparing himself for the fall but he’s not entirely sure she is.

Two weeks have gone by and he hasn’t seen her since the movie. Their schedules didn’t align so he decided to surprise her with takeout from her favorite Asian restaurant and chocolate cake from her favorite bakery.

When he opens the door, he hears Friends playing on her tv and he finds her horizontal on the couch. The hood of her sweatshirt is over her head, her arms wrapped around her torso, her black nails clutching the fabric.

Calum braces himself for what he’s walking into, sets the food on her counter and crouches in front of her. He pulls her hoodie back a little so he can see her face a bit better, her eyes are distant and staring off behind him.

“Hey,” he says softly then touches her hand. It’s very cold. “Y/N.”

Upon hearing her name does she finally look at him. Her eyes have filled and spilled with her tears in a matter of seconds. He links her fingers through his.

“Hi,” she mouths, her voice barely registering.

“Is this about…him?” he asks delicately.

About a year ago he chipped away at the welding on the box. He knows it involves a guy. He knows it’s about bad timing. He knows it’s about deep emotions.

She nods and the tears erupt more. She buries her face in her hands then adds another layer by hiding in the pillow.

“Nope, nope, hey,” he tugs on her arms. She’s pliant and allows him to drag her in a sitting position. He takes the place where her head was then brings her onto his lap. “I’ve got you, I’m right here.” He murmurs and pulls her hoodie down so he can rub at her hair.

She sobs loudly into his neck. Calum holds her as tight as he can, murmuring comforting words in her ear. Her sobs would subside, but he wouldn’t let go until she did. She’s very good at keeping her emotions at bay and even better at keeping people further away from her harbor. She doesn’t ask for help often, she doesn’t open up too much and when she does it’s always the footnoted version.

Three episodes of Friends later, her hold lessens, she gives a big sniff and peels herself away from Calum. He uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe at her tears and nose.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, and she shakes her head. “I brought food. I’ll heat it up for you.”

She nods and falls back onto the couch. He rubs her knee then heads into the kitchen. When the food is prepared on plates he brings it to her and she takes it, scarfing down the first few bites heartily.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she finally speaks when her plate is empty.

“I know,” he nods looking over at her until she meets his brown eyes. “It’s okay.”

Calum ends up staying the night, his mind reeling from what the history is with this mystery guy. His thoughts get away from him as he stares at the ceiling above the couch. Was he some celebrity that kept her under the radar and broke her heart repeatedly? A Prince from some far-off country that got her hopes up and crushed them again and again?

He’s tossing and turning until he hears the shower turn on. Sad songs play over and over on her speakers, her voice singing along with the yearning words. Ghostin’ by Ariana and When the Party’s Over by Billie replay one after another.

She’s really hurting.

Calum bounds off the couch and opens the bathroom door.

“Y/N?” he makes sure his voice is a little louder than the music.

A sniff. “Yeah?” her voice is thick.

“Just want you to know I’m here,” he shuts the door and sits next to the shower.

His heart aches when he hears her crying again, the vocals echo and bounce off the tiles. Her sadness fills the room just as it’s filled in the hidden box of the guy who’s making her feel this way.

Four more repeats go by and the shower is finally shut off. Calum scrambles off the floor, sees her tug the towel from the door of the shower. Her shadow figure wraps it around herself and she opens the door. Her skin is red from the hot water, as are her eyes and cheeks from crying more tears. He grabs another towel and helps dry her hair while she stands there avoiding her reflection in the mirror.

“It’s been five years, why do I still feel like this?” she asks quietly.

“It hurts the most when it meant something.”

He left the bathroom after he dried and brushed her hair then waited for her in her bedroom. There’s pictures on her desk from high school. Her and some guy at prom. Her and the same guy a little bit older posing in a selfie on a couch, drunken smiles on their faces. Her and the same guy a little older again posed outside.

This must be from that box. She’s cracked it open and Calum is staring at some of the pieces that have broken her wholly.

“His name’s Henry,” she explains suddenly behind him.

Calum turns to her voice. The drastic change from the happy girl in the photos to the sad girl before him startles him. He remains silent to let her speak or to go into silence again. She moves onto her bed, sitting in the center and tucks her legs against her chest.

“We never dated. But we were always…together. Together in the physical sense for four years,” she continues. Calum joins her cautiously on the bed and listens. “Back and forth always. After every relationship we fell back into each other. He’s the longest relationship I’ve had, and it wasn’t even a real one.

“We cared about each other, and…I think he loved me. Time wasn’t on our side. It was too much or too little, I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Just when I think I’ve let go; I dream of him. Then he’s on my mind for days. And now this time…” she shakes her head and Calum pulls her against him. “I went on socials and I found out that he um…he’s a dad now. And I feel so stupid because that could have been me if we kept what we had. I feel stupid because a part of me wanted it to be me.”

Calum doesn’t fully understand the ins and outs of their relationship, but four years of physical affection and a rock to lean on, that’s a lot of history. He also doesn’t fully understand how this guy didn’t make it official with Y/N. She’s the perfect best friend with a big heart.

Calum wishes he knew her in school because he would have been the one to take her to prom. He would have been the one take her to movies and dinners and surprise her with flowers. He would have made it official rather than keep her guessing.

“I’m really going through it and I don’t know how to get out,” she whispers sadly.

“I think…” Calum heaves a big sigh and kisses her wet head. “I think you’re just cracking the surface of breaking free. I can tell he meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to him. Even if he never said it, you’ll always be a part of him just like he’ll be a part of you. Someone that important won’t just poof away.”

“But I want him to, it hurts.”

“I know it does, sweetheart. I’ll help you in any way I can, okay?”

“You’re so understanding and you’re so good, but I don’t want to cry over another guy when you’re here.”

“That’s what best friends do.”

She turns her head and gazes up at him. He notices the storm in her eyes aren’t as dark, her lips are chapped from the cracking of memories she spilled out.

“Calum, you’re more than my best friend.”

He hears a deeper truth in her statement, and it causes his breathing to quicken. The subtle yet very noticeable flick of her eyes to his lips causes him to react. He gives her a quick peck, but that smallest touch sent an enormous shock through his system.

They settle against her pillows, the kiss wasn’t awkward, but it filled them both with questions. Questions that will be answered at a different time because right now he wants to hear this most vulnerable part of her life. She takes his hand in hers first and plays with his fingers while she talks.

He makes comments and asks questions to try and understand a bit more. Calum kisses her head when her voice starts to shake. Hours go by and the sky starts to lighten, birds are awakening.

“Hey,” she says right as he’s about to fall asleep. They talked all night, but she quieted down about twenty minutes.

“Hm?” he opens his eyes.

“We match.”

He looks down at their intertwined fingers when she taps on his nail. His polish is chipped away from chewing on a hangnail then smiles at the black color. He lifts their hands and kisses their knuckles.

“I feel what you feel.”

“What exactly do you feel?”

“I felt you slipping. I can sense your emotions when no one else can, and I guess I painted my nails subconsciously because I didn’t want you to be alone in the dark,” he explains. She’s quiet for a moment and he thinks she really fell asleep this time.

“Thank you. I don’t think I’ll be this bad again.”

“If you are, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here.”

“Cal?”

“Hmm?” he sighs. It’s getting harder to keep his eyes open, but he doesn’t want her to stop talking. He doesn’t want her out of his arms.

“When I’m dreaming tonight it will be of you.”

Taglist: @calpalirwin @myloverboyash @loveroflrh @cxddlyash @princesslrh @spicylftv @notinthesameguey @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @thatscooibaby @suchalonelysunflower @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @karajaynetoday @quasighost @i-like-5sos @creampiecashton @calpops @littledrummeraussie @sexgodashton @f-mu

#best friend!cal #calum hood oneshot #calum hood angst #calum fluff #calum hood fluff #calum 5sos writing #calum 5sos #5sos writing #calum hood 5sos #calum fic #calum hood fic

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keisurin · 4 years ago

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#the things you do that makes me love you

#ft; suna, sugawara, semi

#warnings; none except for a bit of cuss words it’s fluff<3 gn!reader

#self explanatory title,, things the haikyuu character does in the relationship~

#suna;

-he finds you in the morning before class starts as a way to get ‘charged’

-him seeing you just brightens up his whole day~

-he’s too grumpy in the morning but at night he sends amazing goodnight texts.

-he sends you one thing he noticed about you, tells you how much he loves you and that he’s excited to see you tomorrow etc etc it’s all his love poured into a text.

-in school he’ll have lunch with you and he brings you a chuppet🥺🥺

-holds your hand in the hallways if not his arm is around your shoulders keeping you near him at all times. he wants people to know you’re his.

-ok he can be pretty weird. like sometimes he sends you links to netflix documentaries.

-ranges from penguins to ted bundy. what’re you trying to tell y/n pretty boy?

-he draws on your arm or thighs,, roses, sparkles, a portrait of himself and honestly it ends up pretty damn good.

-for some reason he’s scared of you borrowing another persons jacket like you’d ask someone else than him, so he brings a second jacket to school just for you.

-will skip volleyball practice for you!!

-matching phone cases<3

-he does that thing where he just leans onto you cause he’s bored or wants your attention especially if you’re in public.

-he likes it when you sit on his lap as he plays games.

-during his volleyball matches he looks for you in the crowd and when he does he’ll blow a kiss to you and or make a heart sign.

#sugawara;

-MR TREAT YOU RIGHT OK, he’s your best friend and boyfriend in one, what more can you ask for?

-he takes you out to karaoke and duos you and sings beyoncé or ariana grande or whatever, he knows it all.

-he comes with you when you go shopping and is amazing at judging any clothes you buy??

-he wakes up early so that he can make his way to your home and you both can walk to school together.

-with that he also makes sure to buy your favourite drink to wake you up in the morning.

-matching wallpapers =w=

-and and he plans dates and asks if you can match outfits with him- its adorable.

-your number one cheerleader~ source of motivation.

-but he’s also as choatic as a crackhead so,, karaoke nights? noise complaints? yes.

-LOL you probably have a joint tik tok account with him. you do all the trends and shit and it’s a bit popular.

-likes sending you cute pictures of animals or sends memes and is like “omg its us!!” hes such a dork.

#semi;

-luv, he loves you and he shows it well.

-KYA he’ll sneak into your dorm at night even if it means getting suspended or expelled—

-sometimes it’s not even planned he just walks in because ‘his dorm got boring and cold’

-you’re boutta smack him in the head but he’s like “hey let’s watch that movie you always wanted to”

-he sends you songs in the middle of class and says “i thought of you”

-he also sends small snippets of new guitar riffs he thought of or anything in regards to his music life. he loves sharing you that part of his life.

-you both share a mp3 player. just something cheap but sentimental.

-he knows how to style hair and so he probably does it on you.

-matching necklaces and bracelets~

-definitely makes songs about you!! and is excited as a child on his birthday when he gets it done. he loves hearing your opinions and trusts yours.

-he stares at you for hours before drowning your face in kisses.

gen taglist; @tanakaslastbraincell @indecisivehusky @mint-mai @yafriendlyfangirl @blana @franko-pop @lovekawas @graykageyama @koutayoomi

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karlajoyner · 4 years ago

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Sick (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys I hope you guys enjoy this one! I'm currently trying to work on the requests I have to get done but I somewhat have a good idea on how I want a lot of them to go....now I just need to write them. Also I do have a taglist if you wanna be added to it. Okay byeee!!

Requested by: @riverdalefan2019 (Tumblr)

Warnings: None

————

I made my way into my shared apartment after a long day at work, exhausted after spending hours treating patients.

Immediately spotting a note on the countertop. A small smile formed on my face as I recognized the chicken scratch written on it.

"I tried to stay awake my love but I was just too tired. Don't hesitate to wake me up if you want to feel loved and appreciated!

~ Charlie

I read quietly taking a look at the clock. 3:34am. He had a whole weekend to make me feel loved and appreciated as did I.

Deciding on letting him rest I removed my coat and shoes leaving them by the door before making my way into our shared bedroom.

I turned on the bedside lamp, straight away spotting my boyfriends body under the covers.

I sighed contently moving over to my dresser to grab a pair of pajamas when I heard the sheets begin to shuffle.

"Y/n?" A raspy voice called out to me.

"Babe. Did I wake you?" I asked worriedly pulling out a pair of silk pajama shorts and a cami. Placing them at the top of the dresser.

"No, no I was having trouble sleeping" He coughed sitting up. I turned around getting a good look at his disheveled appearance. A frown forming on my face. "Are you okay?" I questioned grabbing my scrubs from my bag and dumping them into the dirty clothes.

"I'm fine just a little tired is all. How was your shift at the hospital?"

"It wasn't too bad today. I'm just glad I have a whole weekend to recover before going back" I said watching him lean against the headboard. Slowly closing his eyes and reopening them.

"Are you sure your okay Charlie?"

"I'm fine"

"Yeah well as a nurse, I'm fine isn't gonna cut it for me"

"Don't go all professional on me now" He teased as I walked over to my work bag.

"I kinda have to it's my job as your girlfriend who works with sick people everyday. I have to make sure your not contagious" I spoke walking over to him.

"How've you been feeling?" I asked placing a hand on his forehead.

"Tired"

"Does your head hurt?"

"A bit" He sniffled. Stuffy nose.

"Open" I spoke taking a look into his mouth.

"How do your muscles feel?" I spoke putting the popsicle stick I had used in a ziplock bag to throw away.

"You tell me baby" He joked flexing his arm.

"Charles"

"Fine. Sorry. They're actually a little weak" I sighed sticking a thermometer in his mouth.

"I missed you" He tried to speak reaching his hand out to take mine. I quickly retracted it watching hurt take over his face.

"Baby I love you but your sick" I explained hearing the thermometer beep.

"I don't think I'm sick"

"Really? Cause this thermometers telling me you've got the flu"

"I do?"

"Yup. Which means your on bedrest until you get better"

"Nope. There's no way that's gonna happen"

"And why not?"

"Because we've had this whole weekend planned out with fun activities for weeks and I'm not gonna let a little cold ruin that"

"It's not a little cold it's the flu. And I'm sure we can find another free weekend to lounge around all day and watch movies"

"We we're gonna do other stuff too" He pouted.

"Save it Charlie. You are not doing anything that doesn't involve you laying in this bed" He seemed to perk up at my suggestion a smirk forming on his face.

"No. Not that either" I spoke a pout taking over his face.

"But-"

"No buts. You need rest"

"I can't. I've been tossing and turning all night. Can we cuddle?" I internally groaned looking at the digital clock on the bedside table.

"Charlie it's contagious. I can't risk getting sick" My heart broke as I watched sadness wash over his face.

"But I wanna cuddle"

"If you feel any better tomorrow. We can cuddle. Until then I've got to sleep on the couch tonight"

"Your not even gonna sleep with me" He complained.

"Get some rest" I said placing my hand on his cheek feeling him lean into my touch.

"I love you" I smiled sweetly at him.

"I love you too Y/n" he croaked out coughing afterwards.

"Night Charlie"

"Goodnight baby" He called out after me.

I woke up to sound of my alarm ringing. Wanting nothing more than to sleep for just a few more hours.

Unfortunately enough I had a sick boyfriend to tend to so I quickly got up, going to put a chicken soup on the stove. Just the way he liked it.

"Charlie" I sang entering the room to see a scatter of tissues around the bed.

"We ran out of tissues so I had to grab toilet paper. He sniffled holding up a roll of new toilet paper.

"I take it your not feeling any better?" I asked putting down the tray of soup on the dresser.

"Nope. I think it got worse. Which sucks cause now I can't kiss you"

"We have plenty of time for that later" I spoke tucking him back in.

"I brought you soup"

"Thank you for taking care of me"

"Of course baby. You know? We could still have a great weekend" I said picking up the dirty tissues and throwing them into the trash bin in the corner of the room.

"How?" Charlie asked blowing on the soup.

"We could watch some movies later in the living room. We'll just sit on different couches" I suggested.

"Sounds good?"

"Sounds amazing beautiful" He spoke in a groggy voice.

It had been a few hours of Charlie laying in bed while I did some online shopping enjoying the peace and silence in the apartment.

The two of us sharing small talk bringing up memories from the day we first met, to our first date, to the present day.

"Baby!" Charlie called out to me.

"Yes Charles" I toyed with the boy spinning around on the armchair at the desk.

"Can we watch movies now? I'm tired of laying here"

"Yes" I answered watching a smile form on his face.

I sighed settling down onto the couch watching as my boyfriend scrolled through the endless movies on Netflix.

"What do you wanna watch?"

"The notebook"

"Do you wanna see me cry woman?" He asked exasperatedly making me giggle.

"Awww your such a softie" I said watching him put the movie on anyways.

"I am not"

"Sure Charlie" I laughed once more as the movie started.

I looked over at my boyfriend to see him attempting to get comfortable. Rolling my eyes I got up to sit next to him.

"Come on" I said patting my lap.

"Really?" He asked making me nod.

"What if I get you sick?"

"Then I'll take a couple days off work. No biggie"

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course you big dummy" He grinned at my response placing his head on my lap. Immediately getting comfortable with a blanket on his body.

"I love you" He muttered.

"I love you too Charlie" I whispered contently running my fingers through his hair as the first movie of the night played.

————

Up Next: Alex Mercer x Male Reader

Luke Patterson x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Jeremy Shada x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Reggie Peters x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Reggie Peters x Reader

Carrie Wilson x Reader

Sunset Curve x Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg @jammi13 @theravenclawlife

202 notes · View notes

whereisten · 4 years ago

Text

Heal

A Kun fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: Doctor Qian Kun is a young and successful doctor who works miracles. And you are no exception when you become his patient.

Pairing: Doctor! Kun x female reader

Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, horror

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: blood, manipulation

(A/N: Thank you guys so much for your support with our Halloween fics! Hope you enjoy the adventures of y/n and Doctor Kun!)

___

You were no stranger to visits to the Neo Hospital in your hometown. When you were a baby, you basically lived at the hospital. You were prone to colds and fevers. You always experienced body aches and fatigue. You were born with a chronic autoimmune disorder that left many doctors baffled. They were only able to provide you with medications to alleviate your pains temporarily. You were confined to stay at home, to be homeschooled by your parents, and make friends online. Your childhood was far from normal.

You were a college junior now and you’ve been strictly online. If it wasn’t for the Internet, you probably would’ve lost your mind by now.

You had contact with the outside world but not physical contact. It’s what you longed for the most.

You resented your family. Your older and younger siblings could go out whenever they pleased. How did they get so lucky? Why were you the only sibling that got the short end of the stick?

Everyone in your family always interacted with you carefully, using hand sanitizer and always washing their hands prior to helping you with something. They treated you like a fine, porcelain doll that had to be preserved. It was irritating on your best days and unbearable on your worst. You felt like an abomination sometimes.

However, throughout the years, you would rebel. You would run away from home when your parents eyes wandered for a moment. The farthest you’d get before getting caught was the park. You were lucky that you didn’t develop any harsh symptoms from those times you ran away. However, you would be punished for taking such risks. You’d get your phone and internet privileges taken away for a month every time.

Last week, you succeeded in your most ambitious escape yet: you made it to Target to buy the new Ariana Grande CD. You thought that the one trip to Target couldn’t hurt you. By no means was it crowded and no one got into your space.

Well, you were wrong to think that you’d be fine.

Now you came down with a fever and you’d been placed on bed rest at your all-too familiar Room 1196 on the eleventh floor of the hospital.

You resented your body. A lot of people could recover from a fever and carry on with their day-to-day lives but you? Not so much.

Your parents made a whole spectacle of getting you to be seen by the best doctors but these doctors couldn’t help you the way you’d hoped.

However, this time, you awoke the next morning after your intake and felt...nothing.

Like you never had a fever in the first place.

You spent the morning checking your social media. Your crush/online classmate Sicheng was on a weekend hiking trip with his friends. He was with a bunch of beautiful, healthy people in North Carolina. You were even more bummed to be in the hospital now.

You wondered what life would be like if you didn’t have your condition. Where could you have gone? Who would you be now?

You’ve always wanted to go to the beach by yourself. To the supermarket. Hell, across the street. You wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Without anyone coddling you and watching your every move.

You wished for freedom from the body you were born with. To find a new one, somehow.

Because you had no hope for your current body to change.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” A male voice was heard from the door.

“Sure.” You sat upright on the bed.

The person at the door entered and he was the prettiest healthcare provider you’d ever laid your eyes on. He had warm, brown eyes and a radiant smile. His dark blue hair was wavy.

Suddenly, you regretted not brushing your hair that morning.

He donned a lab coat with the hospital’s name on it. His name tag was in a lanyard: Dr. Qian Kun, MD, DOM, PharmD.

He looked very young...And to have all of those titles? Your head was spinning.

He frowned as he saw how confused you looked. “Are you alright?”

You nodded. “I am.”

He sat on the chair beside your bed. “It’s nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Dr. Qian Kun but you can call me Kun.”

You blinked a few times. “Are you really a doctor?”

He laughed, confused. “What?”

“You don’t seem that much older than me…”

He sighed. “I get that a lot. I’m twenty-four. I graduated early from university...Earned my titles...Now here I am.”

“That’s amazing. You are probably the youngest doctor ever.”

Kun shook his head. “Afraid not. Bala Ambati became a doctor at seventeen.”

You shook your head. “Still...You have three doctorates. That means triple the sleep deprivation. Hats off to you.”

Kun chuckled as he looked at your information in his clipboard. “Your vitals have improved a lot since yesterday.”

You looked down at your hands. “Yeah...That’s impossible…”

Kun shook his head, noting how down you looked. “It is possible, y/n.”

You met his gaze. “How?”

He smiled. “Are you familiar with oriental medicine?”

He sure was charming, you thought. You reminded yourself to answer his question. “No, I’m not.”

Kun got up from his seat. “Well, there are many different practices that a doctor of oriental medicine can utilize, like acupuncture, meditation, and herbal therapy...To restore harmony to the human body. I specialize in herbal therapy.”

“I see…”

“I have created an herbal mixture that has worked efficiently to get my patients back up on their feet.”

Incredulous still, you managed to say, “That’s great, Doctor.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“I mean, Kun.”

Kun resumed, “And I‘ve provided you with the herbal mixture and from the looks of it, the results have quickly taken effect.”

You were speechless. “That’s…”

“I know it’s hard to believe, y/n. But sometimes doctors fail to find other alternatives to help their patients. Which is why I’m glad I’m your primary physician now.”

“Wait, what about Doctor Morris?” Doctor Morris had been your primary physician since you were five years old.

“She’s retired. I’ve been taking on a couple of her patients now.”

“I see…”

Kun looked out your room’s window and smiled to himself. “You don’t trust me.”

“Don’t take it personally. I don’t trust any medical professional. No one has been able to understand my condition yet so…”

Kun replied, “You’ve been let down too many times.”

“Exactly. Doctors just can’t figure me out.”

He turned to you and grinned. “Allow me to prove you wrong, then.”

___

At the recommendation of Doctor Kun, you were assigned to stay in the hospital for the next few weeks to see how the herbal mixture would affect your body if you took it for a longer period of time.

Every passing day, you felt more alive. It was weird to say this but you felt more alive at the hospital than you did before. You were beginning to suspect that Kun’s herbal mixture was actually working.

The herbal mixture was made of feverfew among other medicinal herbs. It had certainly done the trick to reduce your fever overnight. You wondered just what this mixture was made of.

You just finished your online linguistics lecture and closed your laptop. You found Kun waiting at the door. “You free?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

He sat down next to you and pulled some of your favorite candy out of his pocket.

He put the candy bar in your hand. His fingers lightly touched your palm. Your face warmed up at his proximity. “Happy Halloween, y/n.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out. How did he know you loved Twix? You took the candy bar into your hand and almost cried.

“Y/n?” He asked, worried.

You wiped a tear away. “Sorry...It’s just that this time of the year is hard because...I want to celebrate it. Go out and trick or treat...I know that time has gone for me but I hate that I missed out, you know…”

“Y/n…”

You sniffled and took a bite of the chocolate bar. “My parents never wanted me to feel like I was missing out so they would bring the holiday home to me. I was never in need of M&Ms, Skittles, Twix, or Sour Patch Kids…They even helped me make the best Halloween costumes. We would watch a bunch of horror movies all month long...But I wanted to be a kid. I wanted to go out with my friends and go door to door…”

Kun’s heart went out to you. He hated seeing you so down and so deprived of a life that everyone should have. “Y/n, you will be able to do all of the things you want to do in life.”

You looked at Kun and he had a determined look on his face. “How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve worked with people with conditions like yours...They thought they would be attached to the hospital forever one way or another. But with my methods, I was able to help them turn their life around. And now they’re living normally and fully.”

You sighed. “I’m happy to hear that...I just don’t think I’ll be one of them.”

Kun placed his hand over yours. “Trust me, y/n. I won’t let you down.”

You met his eyes, then, and you smiled. “Thanks, Kun. I’ve gotta hand it to you. You’re my favorite doctor.”

He beamed. “Is that so?”

You nodded. “Yeah...None of the other doctors ever gave me so much as a lollipop Even though that seems to be the norm on TV…”

Kun chuckled. “There’s more where that came from, y/n.”

___

It has been a month since you’ve entered the hospital. The medical bills were covered by an anonymous benefactor. Your family didn’t have to worry about the financial strain of your hospital stay.

Your family came to visit you and they were stunned at how radiant you looked. They were surprised at how much more ALIVE you looked when they expected you to be weak and miserable because you were at the hospital. Something about you was different.

“Doctor Kun is a miracle worker, isn’t he?” Your dad asked.

“I heard he’s a sight for sore eyes, too...Don’t you think so, y/n?” Your older sister Sydney teased.

You mom shook her head and helped fluff your pillows. “How are you, sweetheart?”

You smiled. “I’m better, actually. I think Kun’s methods are working.”

“Oh, are you two on a first name basis?” Your sister joked.

You rolled your eyes. “He told me to call him Kun. If you saw him, you’d feel weird calling him Doctor, actually.”

“He’s quite young, y/n. He graduated from a top university in Beijing at age 10. Then, he went to medical school right after. He’s been a practicing doctor for a couple of years now. He’s unbelievable,” you dad said.

Kun entered the room, then. “I hope I’m not interrupting. I’m Doctor Qian Kun. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Your mom was in love with him. Your dad was in shock at how young he was. Your sister wanted his number. You broke their stunned silence. “Kun, these are my parents Donna and Andrew. And this is my sister, Sydney.”

Kun greeted them. “I’m glad you are all here so I can tell you the good news.”

Everyone was shocked at the phrase “good news”. What good news could he possibly have to share?

Kun continued, “Y/n, your vitals are working at optimum level and we want to see how well you can fare by discharging you.”

You asked, “What?”

Kun smiled. “You can start having a normal life...In which you can attend in-person classes, go to the supermarket, take up a sport…”

You weren’t sure about the last thing he offered but everything else he suggested made you jump out of your bed. “Serious?”

Kun’s smile grew. “Yes.”

Your parents gave each other looks.

Your dad started. “Doctor, are you sure about this...y/n has lived all of her life in our home. The only outside world she’s ever known is our backyard and this hospital.”

Kun nodded. “I am sure. I’ve worked with several patients with similar cases as y/n’s and I would like to put the effect of the herbal mixture to the test. If there is any risk, she will immediately be brought back to the hospital and I will up the dosage for the herbs.”

After a few more minutes of discussion, your parents reluctantly agreed to take you home. To alleviate their concerns, you promised to consult with Kun once a week so he could monitor your progress.

You would be going home tomorrow and you had been given the green light to live a normal life. Outside. Go to classes. See your friends. Go to the beach. Buy fruits at the grocery store.

You packed up your belongings and Kun visited you one last time before you left. “Hey.”

You smiled brightly at him. “Hi!”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than I ever have, honestly. And I have you to thank for that. Look, I’m not sure if this will work out in the end but the fact that I can take the chance and go out there...Thank you.”

Kun ruffled your hair. “I’m here for you, y/n.”

You did admit to yourself that you’d had a little crush on Dr. Kun but who were you kidding? He was so out of your league. You’d had a friend in him and you would always be thankful to him. “I have something for you.”

Kun’s eyes widened. “For me?”

“I wasn’t sure it’d get to my house in time but my mom got the package today. I told her to bring it today when everyone visited so…”

You pulled out a small gift bag with Kun’s present inside.

Kun smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” “You’ve done a lot for me, Kun. I may have my doubts but I don’t doubt your intentions. And they're nothing but good. You’ve been doing so much for me. You’re setting me free...In a way.”

You handed the bag to Kun. He pulled out a little wrapped box from inside. He looked at you as he mocked suspicion.

He removed the wrapping to find a pair of AirPods. He gaped. “Y/n…”

You smiled. “For whenever you need to escape the noise…”

Kun had told you that sometimes he would get overwhelmed with his duties at the hospital and you’d asked him what gave him comfort. He told you it was music. So you figured something as light and portable as AirPods could help Kun calm down whenever he needed it throughout the day.

He smiled brightly at you and surprised you by wrapping his arms around you. “Y/n, thank you...You shouldn’t have…”

You froze. Kun’s toned body was against yours and you could feel the racing of his heart. Your heart probably beat twice as fast. You felt yourself get warmer and warmer. You pulled away from him, his hands on your arms.

He blushed. “Sorry…”

You cleared your throat. “Don’t worry about it…”

Your dad returned to the hospital room. “Y/n, you ready?”

Perfect timing, dad, you thought.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

___

It may have been the second semester of your junior year but you felt as nervous as an incoming college freshman as you entered Neo University’s grounds for the first time. You were meeting some of your friends for the first time ever.

It was one thing to see them on the screen but your heart accelerated thinking of what it would be like to see them in the flesh.

You’ve been doing well so far with the herbs Kun had sent you home with. You were able to go grocery shopping with your mom. She was still considering whether or not you could go to the beach yet. You hoped that your progress would continue so she would say yes.

You felt healthier than ever. You could breathe well through your nose. You felt no body aches. You were ready to cartwheel across the quadrangle.

First, you had to learn how to cartwheel, though.

“Y/n!!!!!” Jungeun called out to you.

Your blonde best friend ran up to you and jumped you from behind. “Ah!”

“Jungeun!” You gasped.

She laughed. “You said I could touch you so I wasn’t about to hold back.”

You hugged each other tightly.

“Y/n, it’s so good to see you!”

You and Jungeun have been friends since middle school so you were already a sobbing mess on your first day.

“Stop crying, y/n or else I’m gonna…” She started crying, too.

“Enough with the tears, already,” Dejun added.

You and Jungeun hugged Dejun to bother him, then.

He laughed. “Y/n, welcome to Neo U.”

“Thanks,” you said, smiling.

You three went to your seminar together and you were just so in awe of being in a classroom, you had trouble focusing on the lecture. You were even more distracted when you saw that Sicheng was in the same class.

He recognized you and waved. You were yelling so loudly on the inside.

Before this semester, you had the occasional online class that you shared. You saw Sicheng for the first time a year ago and your crush on him grew from there. He was one of the most popular guys on campus, according to Jungeun. You had a group project with him last semester and he was so...Perfect.

He was intelligent and down-to-earth. His smile was so sweet and his eyes pierced into your soul. He was talking poetry. It felt like you were seeing your favorite celebrity in person.

When class ended, you went to lunch with your friends and Sicheng joined you.

“How are you, y/n?” He asked.

“I’m great. Never been better,” you replied.

He smiled. “I’m glad. If you ever need anything, please let me know. You have my number.”

You nodded. “Of course. Same here. If you ever need anything. I’m here for you, too.”

Sicheng chuckled. “Great.”

When you finished lunch, Jungeun couldn’t stop poking fun at you. Sicheng left early for a club meeting. “I’m surprised he didn’t ask you out, then!”

You rolled your eyes. “Ask who out?”

Dejun added. “Me, of course.”

Jungeun continued. “The ‘you have my number’ couldn’t have been more obvious. He wants you in his dorm yesterday.”

You frowned. “And what would we do? Fix his bed?”

Jungeun and Dejun laughed. Jungeun added, “The opposite, y/n.”

Your face heated up then. “Oh.”

Since you have basically spent most of your life either at home or at the hospital, you never even considered the possibility of a love life. You tried to convince yourself that dating sims would’ve been enough.

“Don’t worry, y/n...You and Sicheng can take it slow...He’s no incubus who is trying to take your soul,” Dejun offered.

“True,” you said.

That was if Sicheng saw you that way in the first place.

___

A few weeks had passed. You’d been seeing Kun regularly to check in and everything had gone as expected. You were fine. You weren’t exhibiting any flare-ups. So long as you kept taking the prescribed herbs, you would be fine.

“How is everything, y/n?” He asked.

“Pretty good, actually. School is still school, even if it’s in person. But I got to go to a skating rink for the first time.”

He laughed. “How was it?”

“I am terrible.” You showed your legs. “It explains these bruises.”

Kun shook his head and chuckled. “I’m glad you’re getting out more, y/n. Try and take it one step at a time.”

“Oh, geez. I wish you said that sooner. I already joined a blood cult and I’m getting married next week.”

Kun rolled his eyes as he finished taking notes from your consultation.

“How is everything with you, doc?”

Kun’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Surely, you’re not always at the hospital.”

Kun sighed. “Well, y/n...it just so happens that I’ve taken residence up on the top floor. The whole floor is my apartment. Don’t really get to spend much time there because I’m almost always on call.”

Your jaw dropped. “What? Kun, that’s abuse. You shouldn’t be working so many hours. It’s against the-“

Kun couldn’t help his smile appearing.

“You sneaky bastard,” you said.

You both laughed, then.

Sometimes you forgot Kun was a successful doctor. Sometimes he felt like your infinitely smarter senior at college.

He was a million worlds away from yours.

Kun answered, “Well, I’m doing fine, y/n. I meet up with friends once in a while and go white-water rafting.”

“That sounds like fun!”

Kun shook his head. “It’s challenging but exciting. I get a rush every time I go.”

You thought out loud. “I’d love to try it sometime…”

Kun pat you in the back. “When you are at one hundred perfect, I’ll give you the green light. Sounds good?”

You nod.

___

You’d wrapped up your midterm and you were ready to head home and take a nap. You walked through the student quad.

“Y/n!” Sicheng called out to you.

You turned around and found Sicheng running towards you.

You smiled, already warm in the face. “Hi.”

“I was wondering if you were free right now…”

“Really? Me?”

He smiled, confused at your question. “Yeah, you. Want to go to the movies with me?”

You nodded. “Absolutely.”

Sicheng drove you guys to the movies. He bought the tickets and the snacks. He let you pick the movie. You picked The Blair Witch Project. It came out over twenty years ago but the theater was doing a limited time screening of it.

You and Sicheng couldn’t shut up throughout the whole movie as you whispered to each and made each other laugh. You’d almost gotten kicked out of the theater.

You left the theater together and he asked you to dinner. You said yes. You were starting to think that this was a date.

“Y/n, this is a date, right?” He asked you at dinner.

You stopped eating your chicken parmigiana and looked at him with big eyes. “I think...Is it?”

Sicheng sighed. “I wanted it to be…”

You laughed. “Oh, thank God. I thought it was all in my head for a second. Maybe you were this nice to all of your friends.”

He pointed out, “I am not this nice to my friends, I can promise you that.”

Sicheng drove you home and kissed you goodnight before you entered your house. You felt like you were floating on a cloud now.

___

Two days later, there was a campus alert that Sicheng had gone missing. His face was all over the news. The last time he was heard from was when he told his best friend Jaehyun that he was going to ask you out to the movies. The last time he was seen was when he took you home.

Sicheng’s car was found a mile away from the dorms. The key was still in the ignition and his wallet and phone were left behind.

You were brought into the police station for questioning and you told them everything that happened the night Sicheng disappeared.

You were worried. What could have happened to him? Would he be alright? Would he be able to come back home? You missed him so much.

You took an evening stroll around your neighborhood to try and calm down. You reached the park where there was no other soul in sight.

Suddenly, you felt a tingly sensation in the back of your neck. You felt that someone was following you.

You began to walk faster. Suddenly, you were pinned to the ground and everything turned black.

___

You woke up in Room 1196, then. Wait...It wasn’t 1196...It was a different room in Neo Hospital. The room was dark and you could only hear the sound of your breathing. It grew more hysterical with each second.

You felt a burning sensation in your neck. You cried out in pain. You cried out, “Help me, please.”

“Y/n…” You recognized Kun’s voice.

You nearly yelled out in pain but restrained yourself. “What...happened?”

“An animal attack,” he started.

You frowned. “What?”

Kun sighed. “It was good that I was there to help you in time, y/n…”

“What?”

Kun moved your hair out of your face. “I was in the neighborhood when I saw the beast attack your neck.”

“A beast?” You frowned.

“Sicheng, was it?”

Your eyes widened. “How do you-“

“You can’t hide anything from me, y/n...You know that’s not how our relationship works.”

“What are you talking about? Ahhhhh.” The pain was getting to be too much for you.

“Can you put two and two together, y/n? Sicheng bit you.”

You shook your head furiously. “No, he wouldn’t-“

Kun snapped his fingers and Sicheng entered the hospital room. His bright expression nowhere to be found. His eyes were a bright red and his lips had traces of blood on them.

“Sicheng?!” You asked.

Sicheng smiled, showing fangs in his teeth. “Hi, y/n…”

“Oh, my God!” You started.

Kun grew annoyed. “Alright, that’s enough pleasantries for my taste. Go.”

Sicheng walked away at his command.

You began, “What the-“

Kun smiled brightly at you then. This time, his straight white teeth displayed his own fangs. “Y/n...Sicheng has put you in a bit of a bind, hasn’t he?”

You tried backing away from Kun and getting off of the bed but it was almost as if the pain kept you from moving.

Kun ran the back of his hand down your cheek. “When a newborn vampire bites you, the bite is lethal...You could die anywhere between minutes and hours...It depends on the bitten, really…”

You flinched at his touch. “What...did you do to me?”

Kun inched closer to you and you winced. He lathered up the blood that leaked from your neck down to your collarbone.

“What had to be done, y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew that I had to have you.”

You cried out in pain. “Somebody help me, please! Sicheng, please!”

Kun, annoyed over you mentioning Sicheng, shut the door to the hospital room. “It’s useless, y/n. Sicheng wouldn’t be in this mess if he hadn’t infiltrated what is mine. Now Sicheng must endure the consequences and be at my mercy. I turned him so now he looks to me for instructions. Until I release him...Perhaps in the next millennium...”

You sobbed. “Kun, please make this pain stop! I can’t take it!”

He cooed. “I know, baby. I want to help you. Just say the word and I’ll make the pain go away.”

The pain dominated your senses so you couldn’t process how exactly he would make it go away. “Okay! Just do it!”

Kun got up onto the bed and straddled you. He leaned down towards your neck and bit into you.

You cried out again but this time the excruciating pain turned into a euphoria so glorious, you never wanted it to end. You wrapped your arms around Kun as he continued to drink your blood.

___

It was morning when you had woken up. You were in Room 1196 now. You shot up from your bed and found Kun seated right beside you.

“Good morning, darling,” he started.

You glared at him. “Bite me. Oh, wait, you already did.”

He smiled. “I see your energy is up. That’s good to see.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m going home…”

Suddenly, you stopped right at the door and your throat started to burn. Your senses heightened and you could sense that one of the nurses was walking right past your room’s door. You wondered what she would taste like if you caught her by surprise right then and there and…

What the holy hell were you thinking?

Kun sighed. “Don’t kill Joyce. She’s the most competent nurse on the staff.”

You ran into your bathroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror.

But you couldn’t.

You put a hand over your mouth and sobbed. “Kun!!!!!”

Kun joined you in the bathroom. “Ah, yes. You won’t be able to gain access to your reflection for another twenty years.”

“Twenty years...What is going on?”

“But what else, y/n? I turned you. To save your life.”

“Turned me into what, Kun?! Say it!”

Kun smiled. “Darling, you already know. Just admit it to yourself.”

You cried. “No…”

“You’ve always wanted a new body. A new life, y/n. And I’ve given it to you. I’ve made you the most powerful creature on this damned planet: a vampire.”

You fell to the ground. You could feel your fangs against your tongue.“Kun! Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to you?”

Kun sat with you on the ground. “Because I love you, y/n. I never want to be apart from you again.”

You spat in his face. “You made me into a monster.”

Kun, unbothered, wiped your spit away with the sleeve of his coat. “I did not. I made you the best version of yourself you can be. Time for you has become infinite. Your body is immune to all illnesses now. You can see clearly. Your metabolism is in top shape. You are a goddess now.”

You shook your head. “Kun, take it back.”

He chuckled. “You’ve seen enough movies to know that that’s not how it works, y/n...You are mine now. Forever. Just like Sicheng. Just like a lot of the staff in this hospital.”

You shook your head rapidly. “Like hell I’m yours.”

“Y/n, I have been very generous up until this point. Using my blood to help you overcome your chronic condition. Funding your hospital bills...The least you can do is submit to me....”

It was hard to process all of the truths he just delivered. “Your blood?”

He laughed. “You mean you couldn’t taste my blood in the herbal mixture?”

You were about to throw up.

He chuckled darkly. “Admit it, y/n. You loved it.”

“Fuck you, Kun!”

He smiled. “We’ll get to that…”

You sneered. “You are despicable.”

His smile faded. “And you are testing my patience…” He snapped his fingers at you. “On your knees…”

You stayed on the floor with your arms crossed across your chest.

He frowned as he snapped again. “On your knees, y/n.”

“I don’t think so,” you said.

Kun looked taken aback. “What? How?”

You got up from the ground and looked at him. “I will never submit to you for as long as I live..” If vampires were even considered living.

You ran quickly out of the hospital room, realizing you had superhuman speed now. You were able to leave the historial without facing any temptation to bite someone.

But your thirst had to be satisfied somehow and you had to find a way to quench it without hurting anyone.

___

[2 years later]

You’d skipped town not long after you turned. You sent letters to your family without a return address so as not to risk their safety.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m so sorry I ran away. I had no choice. If I didn’t leave, you all would’ve been in danger. One day, I hope to explain it all to you but in the meantime, live your lives fully and love each other. Don’t take anything for granted. I love you so much and will see you again.

Love,

y/n

You had become an infamous blood bag bandit as you moved across the country, running away from Kun. He would occasionally try and track you. Or he would send his henchman like Sicheng to do it for him.

You were lucky so far. You had never attacked a human being and sustained yourself on some blood bags you were able to nab from donating trucks.

The reason why you didn’t submit yourself to Kun that day was indeed because of his blood. Consumption of his blood made you immune to his influence. He couldn’t have you like he had wanted all along.

Kun had been obsessed with you from the very beginning. When you were discharged from the hospital the time you met him, he continuously stalked you. At college, at the grocery store, at your home...It would explain why he was able to send Sicheng to attack you.

He always knew where you were back then.

Kun commanded Sicheng to bite you then and put you at risk of dying. Kun’s plan was to save you, make you his vampire queen, and control you.

It was a shame he failed to see that his creation of medicinal herbs was the one thing that would lead to his plan’s failure.

You were immune to his commands and you weren’t going to stick around and see how else he would try and “win you over”.

According to your research, in all public records, Kun was now twenty-six. A blatant lie since he couldn’t age. So you wondered how long he would remain in your hometown. You kept a careful eye on your family every now and then. You’ve made some contacts to track your family occasionally, as well.

Kun had stooped low and you prayed he wouldn’t stoop even lower to get you.

You worked hard every day to work on your rapidly growing vampiric abilities. You couldn’t stick around anywhere for too long without arousing suspicion.

Now you weren’t confined to one space anymore.

You were confined to running.

You hoped to one day bring it this madness to an end and take Kun down. Save Sicheng and Kun’s other minions.

And for you to truly be free.

[Fin]

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