#bringing her tea and dinner bc she knows she didn't eat
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chronal-anomaly · 2 years ago
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I am in rarepair hell
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lady-charinette · 3 years ago
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Roommates + Fake Dating for Eden Academy AU Twiyor
Usually students didn't get rooms with mixed genders, but the academy heard about students achieving greater academic success with mixed genders so they rolled with it with the higher grades
Yor was excited if she would share the room with one of the girls but instead of any one of them, Loid came through the door with his bags
Loid offered to talk to the staff and change rooms but Yor admitted she felt more comfortable with Loid than she would with Camila, Sharon or Milie (Loid knows its bc they bully her, but he said nothing)
Franky teases the living shit out of them
It's been weeks since they started sharing space, Loid learned and took over cooking so they both didn't die from Yor's creations ("Didn't you say you had a little brother?" "Y-Yes! But he eats everything off his plates!" "YOR,
rumors of different people hooking up with the mixed gendered rooms began circulating around campus
Camila kept making fun of Yor for being so ugly she couldn't even attract a fly let alone a guy from their year
Out of righteous and protective rage for Yor, Loid accidentally let it slip that they, in fact, dated
(Shocked pikachu Eden Academy students)
Yor and Loid were panicking on how normal couples behaved, they rented all the rom-com movies they could find and binged all of them after studying for exams
Students began being envious of them for being such a good-looking couple straight out of (k)dramas
Loid was an oblivious, popular bachelor and Yor was sought after from many suitors due to her beauty (many dared not approach her due to her brute strength, but they were there)
The only one who didn't buy into their act was their history and ethics teacher, Sylvia Sherwood, who saw through their charade but also recognized the early signs of blossoming, genuine affection
Mr. Henderson was their 1# supporter lmao
They didn't know or noticed late how their pretend romantic interactions slowly became a part of their daily life even when away from campus' eyes
Loid would cook them both breakfast while Yor would keep their rooms spotlessly clean and tidy
They would practice self defense together, go out for a morning and evening run
They would practice things couples did but would get easily embarrassed bc these kids are touch-, affectionstarved to death (holding hands? 100% blushing!)
It were the quiet nights when they would have tea or coffee together that they would open up about their families and pasts to each-other
Loid respected Yor for raising Yuri on her own like that and Yor felt nothing but admiration for Loid for living all on his own
Whenever Yor would come home to Yuri, she would invite Loid over for dinner
Little Yuri didn't like him one bit
"Yuri! Please be respectful, he's a very dear senior and friend to me!" Yuri:"But sis, he looks like some shady spy!" "Spy?"
Loid would try to befriend Yuri but the little boy was quick witted, "You just want my sister for other reasons, don't you? I know your kind!" Loid:"What? No! (And you're only 10!)"
Whenever Yor wasn't looking, Yuri would kick at Loid's shin under the table. Loid would have trouble walking sometimes but Yor always either bandaged his leg or helped him get home, much to Yuri's chagrin
Yuri burned every gift Loid would give him
It wasn't until Loid very passionately defended Yor's honor during the ceremony at the end of the semester where he gained Yuri's respect (according to some dumb superstition; young women who lived alone were omens of bad luck ...etc.)
Franky felt like Yor was stealing Loid from him, Loid tried diving his time to spend more time with Franky
Loid would sometimes fall asleep on the couch bc he didn't get enough at night. Yor would always tuck him in and bring him a pillow so his neck didn't hurt in the morning.
A thing Loid never expected when living alone with Yor: she was unexpectedly cute in PJ's
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theshelbyslimited · 2 years ago
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THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS NEW CHAPTER FOR THIS AMAZING STORY 😭
"Alfie has taken care of your wounds. I would have taken care of you. I would have done it. I would have helped you. I'm your husband." oh Tommy, I get you're overwhelmed but do you really expect poor Y/N to believe you would've actually taken care of her? especially when you've shown no care or acknowledgement for her in the long run so far 😬
"Thomas, I wish I could believe you. And Alfie more or less forced me to come with him. I wanted to run away. Solomons promised he wouldn't call you and he kept his promise. He called you long before, promising he wouldn't contact you." Y/N must feel so betrayed right now, I know Alfie did it bc he probably thought it was the best thing to do but still 😔
"My husband who forgot to pick me up, who wasn't there to protect me. You are many things, Thomas, but not a loving husband. A man who prefers to spend his evenings drinking with his family, forgetting about his wife sleeping in the bedroom and laughing at the jokes directed at my inabilities. You can spend time with your family, but at least you could spare a few minutes of your day and be with me." GO OFF Y/N 🙌🏽 Tommy needed to hear this right now, especially when he's pretending like he would've cared for Y/N despite the fact his lack of CARE for her is the reason she was out in the open for capture + attack in the first place.
"It would be enough if you held my hand during long rides. I do not demand a lot. Let me fucking know that you love me. Don't bring me roses, bring me the flower I love the most or tea. Don't buy me jewellery, diamonds and gems, I don't need it, I don't long for these riches. I long for your love and affection. Embrace me, hold me in your arms, don't come to the bedroom to satisfy your desire for flesh, to fulfil the duty of a man. A child will never find its way to us, for a child cannot be born into a non-existent family, into a loveless marriage. That's what our marriage is. Loveless, if you can even call what we have a marriage." MY HEART HURTS FOR Y/N so badly right now bc all she wants is genuine, authentic love in her marriage and she's experienced nothing but the complete opposite, if not worse
"On the contrary, when a child was sick, I took care of them. When Arthur had problems, I offered him help, but your brother ignored me. John is quite nice." this is the part that gets me bc although the family was treating Y/N like nothing but gum on the bottom of their shoes, she still had her heart opened and was always prepared to be there for them if they needed someone. yet when she needed someone, nobody was there bc nobody cared :((
"And before I forget. I brought my husband tea every night for the past weeks and sometimes even liquor, his favourite, and when he was sick, I was up all night looking after him as he refused to see a doctor. Once, last week to be accurate, I baked a cake and my husband didn't arrive from work so I delivered the cake to his factory but what do you think, he told his secretary that he doesn't have time to greet his wife standing at the door. For a moment, I was convinced he was playing with a skirt, entertained by the beauty of the night." I AM IN PAIN. Y/N DESERVES 1000X TIMES BETTER THAN THIS 😭
"My husband is a very busy man, but it would have taken five minutes to take the cake, hug me, maybe even kiss me, but no, he had other far more important things to do than waste his precious time with me." I WANT TO HUG Y/N SO BADLY RIGHT NOW 😭
"Please, don't promise anything you can't keep, Thomas. Don't promise you'll do better, that you will love me differently, come home early, eat dinner by my side and go on dates twice a week. You should have changed a long time ago, and you have promised me all of these things. Do you remember? It was sealed by a kiss. You promised me on our wedding day that you would respect, honour, and protect me." MY HEART IS IN SHREDS. this all needed to be said and out in the air though bc TOMMY DESERVES TO BE TORN APART LIKE THIS.
"Hearts collided, skimming waves, clashing torrents playing with the lost sailor, but the full moon summoning the horrific swells bit farewell." THISSS 😭 YOUR WRITING IS TRULY ART.
this chapter was an emotional one and it had feeling all over the place. I'm so deeply conflicted bc Tommy seems so remorseful of how much he failed Y/N as a husband but I also feel like, if she didn't get hurt then he'd have continued on the way he was and poor Y/N would've just continued to suffer, maybe I'm wrong.
I feel like Y/N deserves so much better bc Tommy nor his family ever gave her a chance despite her efforts to be there for them and showing the heart that she has within her. I'm definitely stuck w how I want things to work out for these two right now but I trust you'll come up w an outcome that you believe is best. amazing as always my lovely friend and you truly leave me speechless every single time 😭🙌🏽
Who did this to you? - 6
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x female/Reader
Summary: Bruised and broken, Y/N, trapped in a loveless marriage, arrives at her best friend's house, desperately hoping someone will help her, aware she cannot return to the estate of her husband.
Warning: fear, anxiety, Angst, swearing, Fluff
Word Count: 2.3k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
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Puddles gathered beneath his shoes freckled by mud. Light flickered. The man was broken, frail, weakened by the weight resting on his shoulders. Thomas had imagined hundreds, thousands of scenarios, had expected the worst, but the sight of his wife beaten and bloody evoked tears and the desire to kill.
Alfie slipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers, did not dignify the Shelby with a single glance, and walked without swearing towards the uninvited guest standing in the pool of dirt, in the remains, the debris of his marriage.
The men exchanged words, quietly, barely audibly, and Y/N tried to read the lips shaping into hush words, but she failed. The pain gnawing at her bones faded away. Her breath quickened. Her fingers curled into the dark leather of the sofa and the healing wounds running wild across her arms tore open. In the shadows, she sought refuge. Blood gushed in narrow lines along her skin. Believing she was trapped in the claws of a nightmare, she fought, opened and closed her eyes, attempted to awaken, and discovered the truth.
Desperately, Y/N searched for a way out. Her clouded gaze darted from corner to corner, but there was no door or open window through which she could escape into the depths of the starless night. Y/N guessed what had happened, cursed herself for her good nature, for trusting the man, fulfilling almost every tale she had heard about him.
Thomas stayed cloaked in silence, listening to the fading noise echoing throughout the endless hallways of the mansion. The yellowish light dimmed by the umbrella kissed his features. Y/N blamed the blood loss, thought the illusion of her husband with reddened eyes was watching over her, a guardian angel of the grey heavens pitying the suffering soul walking on earth. His face was pale, ghastly. The circles under his eyes had darkened. He shivered; the flames could not warm him. The robust fabric of tweed pants clung to his legs and the white button-down was translucent. Y/N´s heart ached at the sight of his eyes bearing the purest form of pain, an untold tale of anguish, a tragedy so terrible that even the most vigorous drowned in a sea of tears.
The Shelby cursed, whispered a bloody murder, hated himself for what he had not done, for not standing by her side to protect her from the unspeakable. Thomas noticed he was drawing closer to the sofa when the loose boards creaked beneath his feet. Wounds of different sizes emerged. The bruises, blue and purple, grew in size. He gulped, imagined, guessed what his wife was hiding under the slightly soiled bandages around her arms and legs. The water in the white porcelain bowl was murky, a pond in the uncharted forest cursed by witches.
Redness painted her cheeks. His eyes were fixed on hers, realised she was undressed, aware Alfie had removed her clothes and had touched her body as sensually and delicately as only a husband was supposed to do. The soaked rag rested on the edge of the table next to the unlabelled bottle and the open box filled with bandages was on the floor.
Hesitantly, Thomas approached his wife, fearing she would flee like a deer from the rays of the car driving past the fields. Wounds and unhealed scratches marked her flesh. He tried to count them but failed miserably. Thomas swallowed, knew she had tried to flee and the imprint around her neck, a noose made him gasp. Thoughts were racing through his mind, plotted plans, desperate to find those who had harmed his wife. He planned to kill and torture, to drive a knife through their skin, to make the worst dreams come true, to tear limbs from the torso, and even if they begged for mercy, longing for death, and prayed to him like to a good he would not stop.
Rising flames banished the dampness from his clothes but not the tears wandering across his cheeks. Thomas didn't dare take another step, rooted into the ground. Say something, he commanded, but he did not listen. The parched lips did not touch. The questions were unnecessary, knew why Y/N hadn't come home, why she hadn't called him and he feared the answer, the harsh unsweetened truth.
            "I'm sorry." was the only thing the man with a silver tongue whispered.
The wind whizzed through the chimney and fed the fire.
            "For everything," Thomas added.
Wet strands stuck to his face and Y/N wished to hate him, to drive a dagger into his heart, to make him feel the pain rooting deep in hers, but she couldn't, heard the words were not spoken to lure her into his arms only to drop her like a stone into the raging ocean.
            "Say something." Thomas breathed, could not bear the painful silence.
            "What do you want to hear?" Y/N spoke in a flat voice.
His gaze slipped to her lips, thought it couldn't be Y/N who was speaking in a voice mirroring the harsh northern wind, but no other person was standing in the richly furnished room.
            "You can see the answers to all your questions, Thomas. I suspect Peggy visited you. At least she wasn't home when I woke up and her shoes weren't there.” she answered.
She smiled weakly, lowered her gaze, did not want to show weakness, to reveal the tears streaming down her cheeks.
            “Why does everyone I know break their promises?" Y/N wondered.
            "Alfie has taken care of your wounds. I would have taken care of you. I would have done it. I would have helped you. I'm your husband." Thomas said.
She tried, attempted to believe him but the wounds his coldness, and the constant absence had left on her heart were too deep to be forgotten, torn open and fresh, oozing with crimson and his apologies failed to heal the scars and carry the pain away.
            "Alfie called you?" Y/N asked, ignoring the words sounding too delicate, too wonderful and poetic to be true.
Thomas nodded. His heart ached at the cold, lifeless tone of her voice, emotionless as the steel face of the mountain, not fitting the delicate woman with the features of a fallen goddess.
            "I was looking for you. My men searched the streets, but you were gone with the wind. Everybody was up. We were all worried about you. And suddenly Alfie called and said he has something I am missing, but it's still a mystery why you're here." Thomas repeated a second time.
The fingernails drove deeper into the flesh. Gashes, profound and agonising, sent a tremor up his spine. The words he had spoken left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. A response was on his lips, could answer his question, but he needed confirmation, needed to hear it.
            "Thomas, I wish I could believe you. And Alfie more or less forced me to come with him. I wanted to run away. Solomons promised he wouldn't call you and he kept his promise. He called you long before, promising he wouldn't contact you." Y/N commented.
            "Y/N/N, I would have taken care of you. I am your husband," he spoke, repeating what Y/N had ignored.
Moaning, Y/N sat back, holding her aching side, reminiscing, and chuckling, failing to recall the last occasion when Thomas had called her by her nickname. No warmth seeped through her fingers and coloured the sofa in darker colours.
            "My husband who forgot to pick me up, who wasn't there to protect me. You are many things, Thomas, but not a loving husband. A man who prefers to spend his evenings drinking with his family, forgetting about his wife sleeping in the bedroom and laughing at the jokes directed at my inabilities. You can spend time with your family, but at least you could spare a few minutes of your day and be with me." Y/N said, saw clearly, not blinded by fear.
            "I love you," Thomas interjected.
The laughter sent a shiver down his spine. He wished to embrace her, tell her how deeply he loved her, devoted to her heart and soul, how he could not imagine a world without her, but he was far from the greatest husband under the firmament kissed by the sun after a bleak night.
            "If you love me, then you have an uncommon way of showing it, Thomas Shelby." Y/N said.
            "I'm wearing the ring." Thomas reasoned.
            "It would be enough if you held my hand during long rides. I do not demand a lot. Let me fucking know that you love me. Don't bring me roses, bring me the flower I love the most or tea. Don't buy me jewellery, diamonds and gems, I don't need it, I don't long for these riches. I long for your love and affection. Embrace me, hold me in your arms, don't come to the bedroom to satisfy your desire for flesh, to fulfil the duty of a man. A child will never find its way to us, for a child cannot be born into a non-existent family, into a loveless marriage. That's what our marriage is. Loveless, if you can even call what we have a marriage." her voice broke, shaking, but the weight fell from her chest, voiced all she had never dared to say.
Arrows rained on the weakling, bearing no shield nor armour.
            "And despite everything you have done, even though you haven't done anything, I still love you. You ignored me. You and your family treated me like a piece of rubbish and I haven't done anything to receive such treatment and if yes, I apologise." she continued without mercy.
Y/N found too many stories, greyed and cobwebbed, memories of lonely nights, of mornings at the dining table when nobody spoke to her, pretending she was not among them, a ghost, a lost soul caught in the walls of the mansion.
            "On the contrary, when a child was sick, I took care of them. When Arthur had problems, I offered him help, but your brother ignored me. John is quite nice." Y/N sarcastically remarked.
She chuckled and shook her head.
            "And before I forget. I brought my husband tea every night for the past weeks and sometimes even liquor, his favourite, and when he was sick, I was up all night looking after him as he refused to see a doctor. Once, last week to be accurate, I baked a cake and my husband didn't arrive from work so I delivered the cake to his factory but what do you think, he told his secretary that he doesn't have time to greet his wife standing at the door. For a moment, I was convinced he was playing with a skirt, entertained by the beauty of the night." Y/N uttered.
Thomas froze. His arms hung lifelessly beside his body as if they did not belong to him. The words awakened horrid memories, remembered what he had forgotten, realised what he had done, all the mistakes, how he had behaved.
            "My husband is a very busy man, but it would have taken five minutes to take the cake, hug me, maybe even kiss me, but no, he had other far more important things to do than waste his precious time with me." Y/N breathed as softly as the fresh spring breeze.
His mouth opened a crack but not a word, not a sound, not even a letter did he utter in shock and he realised all the things he had done wrong, all the times he had come home late and sent her away to work in peace.
            "Don't apologise." she silenced the Shelby harshly, guessing what he was about to say.
Tears clouded his vision.
            "Please, don't promise anything you can't keep, Thomas. Don't promise you'll do better, that you will love me differently, come home early, eat dinner by my side and go on dates twice a week. You should have changed a long time ago, and you have promised me all of these things. Do you remember? It was sealed by a kiss. You promised me on our wedding day that you would respect, honour, and protect me." she screamed, crying a river.
            "I beg your forgiveness, forgive me. Please," he begged.
Bones threatened to pierce his skin. Tears flowed in torrents. He collapsed like a house of cards under the pressure of the words in front of the sofa. The material sagged under his touch. Carefully he placed his hands on her body, didn't wish to inflict any more harm, had wounded her too severely, pressed her carefully towards him and Y/N did not resist. He buried his head in the nape of her neck. Warmth travelled down her chest and in shock she realised he was crying.
Thomas breathed words into her ear, soft promises, telling her how much he loved and adored her, sorry for everything he had done, knew how foolish he was, promised things Y/N had not said, mentioning her beloved flower, sang a poem about the beauty of her eyes, how much he needed her. The last wall of defence crumbled and turned to ashes. Ice melted away, and Y/N lowered her hands on his back, felt the burden resting on his frame, and brushed it away as if it weighed nothing.
Thomas prayed to the deity and cupped her cheeks with his sweaty hands. His fingers were shaking. Y/N returned the gesture and laid her palm on his cheek. Thomas smiled weakly, his gaze fell on her hand, felt a pleasant coolness, did not lose the last spark of hope, noticed she was wearing the ring mirroring his. Hearts collided, skimming waves, clashing torrents playing with the lost sailor, but the full moon summoning the horrific swells bit farewell.
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theshelbyslimited · 2 years ago
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THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS NEW CHAPTER FOR THIS AMAZING STORY 😭
"Alfie has taken care of your wounds. I would have taken care of you. I would have done it. I would have helped you. I'm your husband." oh Tommy, I get you're overwhelmed but do you really expect poor Y/N to believe you would've actually taken care of her? especially when you've shown no care or acknowledgement for her in the long run so far 😬
"Thomas, I wish I could believe you. And Alfie more or less forced me to come with him. I wanted to run away. Solomons promised he wouldn't call you and he kept his promise. He called you long before, promising he wouldn't contact you." Y/N must feel so betrayed right now, I know Alfie did it bc he probably thought it was the best thing to do but still 😔
"My husband who forgot to pick me up, who wasn't there to protect me. You are many things, Thomas, but not a loving husband. A man who prefers to spend his evenings drinking with his family, forgetting about his wife sleeping in the bedroom and laughing at the jokes directed at my inabilities. You can spend time with your family, but at least you could spare a few minutes of your day and be with me." GO OFF Y/N 🙌🏽 Tommy needed to hear this right now, especially when he's pretending like he would've cared for Y/N despite the fact his lack of CARE for her is the reason she was out in the open for capture + attack in the first place.
"It would be enough if you held my hand during long rides. I do not demand a lot. Let me fucking know that you love me. Don't bring me roses, bring me the flower I love the most or tea. Don't buy me jewellery, diamonds and gems, I don't need it, I don't long for these riches. I long for your love and affection. Embrace me, hold me in your arms, don't come to the bedroom to satisfy your desire for flesh, to fulfil the duty of a man. A child will never find its way to us, for a child cannot be born into a non-existent family, into a loveless marriage. That's what our marriage is. Loveless, if you can even call what we have a marriage." MY HEART HURTS FOR Y/N so badly right now bc all she wants is genuine, authentic love in her marriage and she's experienced nothing but the complete opposite, if not worse
"On the contrary, when a child was sick, I took care of them. When Arthur had problems, I offered him help, but your brother ignored me. John is quite nice." this is the part that gets me bc although the family was treating Y/N like nothing but gum on the bottom of their shoes, she still had her heart opened and was always prepared to be there for them if they needed someone. yet when she needed someone, nobody was there bc nobody cared :((
"And before I forget. I brought my husband tea every night for the past weeks and sometimes even liquor, his favourite, and when he was sick, I was up all night looking after him as he refused to see a doctor. Once, last week to be accurate, I baked a cake and my husband didn't arrive from work so I delivered the cake to his factory but what do you think, he told his secretary that he doesn't have time to greet his wife standing at the door. For a moment, I was convinced he was playing with a skirt, entertained by the beauty of the night." I AM IN PAIN. Y/N DESERVES 1000X TIMES BETTER THAN THIS 😭
"My husband is a very busy man, but it would have taken five minutes to take the cake, hug me, maybe even kiss me, but no, he had other far more important things to do than waste his precious time with me." I WANT TO HUG Y/N SO BADLY RIGHT NOW 😭
"Please, don't promise anything you can't keep, Thomas. Don't promise you'll do better, that you will love me differently, come home early, eat dinner by my side and go on dates twice a week. You should have changed a long time ago, and you have promised me all of these things. Do you remember? It was sealed by a kiss. You promised me on our wedding day that you would respect, honour, and protect me." MY HEART IS IN SHREDS. this all needed to be said and out in the air though bc TOMMY DESERVES TO BE TORN APART LIKE THIS.
"Hearts collided, skimming waves, clashing torrents playing with the lost sailor, but the full moon summoning the horrific swells bit farewell." THISSS 😭 YOUR WRITING IS TRULY ART.
this chapter was an emotional one and it had feeling all over the place. I'm so deeply conflicted bc Tommy seems so remorseful of how much he failed Y/N as a husband but I also feel like, if she didn't get hurt then he'd have continued on the way he was and poor Y/N would've just continued to suffer, maybe I'm wrong.
I feel like Y/N deserves so much better bc Tommy nor his family ever gave her a chance despite her efforts to be there for them and showing the heart that she has within her. I'm definitely stuck w how I want things to work out for these two right now but I trust you'll come up w an outcome that you believe is best. amazing as always my lovely friend and you truly leave me speechless every single time 😭🙌🏽
Who did this to you? - 6
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x female/Reader
Summary: Bruised and broken, Y/N, trapped in a loveless marriage, arrives at her best friend's house, desperately hoping someone will help her, aware she cannot return to the estate of her husband.
Warning: fear, anxiety, Angst, swearing, Fluff
Word Count: 2.3k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Tumblr media
Puddles gathered beneath his shoes freckled by mud. Light flickered. The man was broken, frail, weakened by the weight resting on his shoulders. Thomas had imagined hundreds, thousands of scenarios, had expected the worst, but the sight of his wife beaten and bloody evoked tears and the desire to kill.
Alfie slipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers, did not dignify the Shelby with a single glance, and walked without swearing towards the uninvited guest standing in the pool of dirt, in the remains, the debris of his marriage.
The men exchanged words, quietly, barely audibly, and Y/N tried to read the lips shaping into hush words, but she failed. The pain gnawing at her bones faded away. Her breath quickened. Her fingers curled into the dark leather of the sofa and the healing wounds running wild across her arms tore open. In the shadows, she sought refuge. Blood gushed in narrow lines along her skin. Believing she was trapped in the claws of a nightmare, she fought, opened and closed her eyes, attempted to awaken, and discovered the truth.
Desperately, Y/N searched for a way out. Her clouded gaze darted from corner to corner, but there was no door or open window through which she could escape into the depths of the starless night. Y/N guessed what had happened, cursed herself for her good nature, for trusting the man, fulfilling almost every tale she had heard about him.
Thomas stayed cloaked in silence, listening to the fading noise echoing throughout the endless hallways of the mansion. The yellowish light dimmed by the umbrella kissed his features. Y/N blamed the blood loss, thought the illusion of her husband with reddened eyes was watching over her, a guardian angel of the grey heavens pitying the suffering soul walking on earth. His face was pale, ghastly. The circles under his eyes had darkened. He shivered; the flames could not warm him. The robust fabric of tweed pants clung to his legs and the white button-down was translucent. Y/N´s heart ached at the sight of his eyes bearing the purest form of pain, an untold tale of anguish, a tragedy so terrible that even the most vigorous drowned in a sea of tears.
The Shelby cursed, whispered a bloody murder, hated himself for what he had not done, for not standing by her side to protect her from the unspeakable. Thomas noticed he was drawing closer to the sofa when the loose boards creaked beneath his feet. Wounds of different sizes emerged. The bruises, blue and purple, grew in size. He gulped, imagined, guessed what his wife was hiding under the slightly soiled bandages around her arms and legs. The water in the white porcelain bowl was murky, a pond in the uncharted forest cursed by witches.
Redness painted her cheeks. His eyes were fixed on hers, realised she was undressed, aware Alfie had removed her clothes and had touched her body as sensually and delicately as only a husband was supposed to do. The soaked rag rested on the edge of the table next to the unlabelled bottle and the open box filled with bandages was on the floor.
Hesitantly, Thomas approached his wife, fearing she would flee like a deer from the rays of the car driving past the fields. Wounds and unhealed scratches marked her flesh. He tried to count them but failed miserably. Thomas swallowed, knew she had tried to flee and the imprint around her neck, a noose made him gasp. Thoughts were racing through his mind, plotted plans, desperate to find those who had harmed his wife. He planned to kill and torture, to drive a knife through their skin, to make the worst dreams come true, to tear limbs from the torso, and even if they begged for mercy, longing for death, and prayed to him like to a good he would not stop.
Rising flames banished the dampness from his clothes but not the tears wandering across his cheeks. Thomas didn't dare take another step, rooted into the ground. Say something, he commanded, but he did not listen. The parched lips did not touch. The questions were unnecessary, knew why Y/N hadn't come home, why she hadn't called him and he feared the answer, the harsh unsweetened truth.
            "I'm sorry." was the only thing the man with a silver tongue whispered.
The wind whizzed through the chimney and fed the fire.
            "For everything," Thomas added.
Wet strands stuck to his face and Y/N wished to hate him, to drive a dagger into his heart, to make him feel the pain rooting deep in hers, but she couldn't, heard the words were not spoken to lure her into his arms only to drop her like a stone into the raging ocean.
            "Say something." Thomas breathed, could not bear the painful silence.
            "What do you want to hear?" Y/N spoke in a flat voice.
His gaze slipped to her lips, thought it couldn't be Y/N who was speaking in a voice mirroring the harsh northern wind, but no other person was standing in the richly furnished room.
            "You can see the answers to all your questions, Thomas. I suspect Peggy visited you. At least she wasn't home when I woke up and her shoes weren't there.” she answered.
She smiled weakly, lowered her gaze, did not want to show weakness, to reveal the tears streaming down her cheeks.
            “Why does everyone I know break their promises?" Y/N wondered.
            "Alfie has taken care of your wounds. I would have taken care of you. I would have done it. I would have helped you. I'm your husband." Thomas said.
She tried, attempted to believe him but the wounds his coldness, and the constant absence had left on her heart were too deep to be forgotten, torn open and fresh, oozing with crimson and his apologies failed to heal the scars and carry the pain away.
            "Alfie called you?" Y/N asked, ignoring the words sounding too delicate, too wonderful and poetic to be true.
Thomas nodded. His heart ached at the cold, lifeless tone of her voice, emotionless as the steel face of the mountain, not fitting the delicate woman with the features of a fallen goddess.
            "I was looking for you. My men searched the streets, but you were gone with the wind. Everybody was up. We were all worried about you. And suddenly Alfie called and said he has something I am missing, but it's still a mystery why you're here." Thomas repeated a second time.
The fingernails drove deeper into the flesh. Gashes, profound and agonising, sent a tremor up his spine. The words he had spoken left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. A response was on his lips, could answer his question, but he needed confirmation, needed to hear it.
            "Thomas, I wish I could believe you. And Alfie more or less forced me to come with him. I wanted to run away. Solomons promised he wouldn't call you and he kept his promise. He called you long before, promising he wouldn't contact you." Y/N commented.
            "Y/N/N, I would have taken care of you. I am your husband," he spoke, repeating what Y/N had ignored.
Moaning, Y/N sat back, holding her aching side, reminiscing, and chuckling, failing to recall the last occasion when Thomas had called her by her nickname. No warmth seeped through her fingers and coloured the sofa in darker colours.
            "My husband who forgot to pick me up, who wasn't there to protect me. You are many things, Thomas, but not a loving husband. A man who prefers to spend his evenings drinking with his family, forgetting about his wife sleeping in the bedroom and laughing at the jokes directed at my inabilities. You can spend time with your family, but at least you could spare a few minutes of your day and be with me." Y/N said, saw clearly, not blinded by fear.
            "I love you," Thomas interjected.
The laughter sent a shiver down his spine. He wished to embrace her, tell her how deeply he loved her, devoted to her heart and soul, how he could not imagine a world without her, but he was far from the greatest husband under the firmament kissed by the sun after a bleak night.
            "If you love me, then you have an uncommon way of showing it, Thomas Shelby." Y/N said.
            "I'm wearing the ring." Thomas reasoned.
            "It would be enough if you held my hand during long rides. I do not demand a lot. Let me fucking know that you love me. Don't bring me roses, bring me the flower I love the most or tea. Don't buy me jewellery, diamonds and gems, I don't need it, I don't long for these riches. I long for your love and affection. Embrace me, hold me in your arms, don't come to the bedroom to satisfy your desire for flesh, to fulfil the duty of a man. A child will never find its way to us, for a child cannot be born into a non-existent family, into a loveless marriage. That's what our marriage is. Loveless, if you can even call what we have a marriage." her voice broke, shaking, but the weight fell from her chest, voiced all she had never dared to say.
Arrows rained on the weakling, bearing no shield nor armour.
            "And despite everything you have done, even though you haven't done anything, I still love you. You ignored me. You and your family treated me like a piece of rubbish and I haven't done anything to receive such treatment and if yes, I apologise." she continued without mercy.
Y/N found too many stories, greyed and cobwebbed, memories of lonely nights, of mornings at the dining table when nobody spoke to her, pretending she was not among them, a ghost, a lost soul caught in the walls of the mansion.
            "On the contrary, when a child was sick, I took care of them. When Arthur had problems, I offered him help, but your brother ignored me. John is quite nice." Y/N sarcastically remarked.
She chuckled and shook her head.
            "And before I forget. I brought my husband tea every night for the past weeks and sometimes even liquor, his favourite, and when he was sick, I was up all night looking after him as he refused to see a doctor. Once, last week to be accurate, I baked a cake and my husband didn't arrive from work so I delivered the cake to his factory but what do you think, he told his secretary that he doesn't have time to greet his wife standing at the door. For a moment, I was convinced he was playing with a skirt, entertained by the beauty of the night." Y/N uttered.
Thomas froze. His arms hung lifelessly beside his body as if they did not belong to him. The words awakened horrid memories, remembered what he had forgotten, realised what he had done, all the mistakes, how he had behaved.
            "My husband is a very busy man, but it would have taken five minutes to take the cake, hug me, maybe even kiss me, but no, he had other far more important things to do than waste his precious time with me." Y/N breathed as softly as the fresh spring breeze.
His mouth opened a crack but not a word, not a sound, not even a letter did he utter in shock and he realised all the things he had done wrong, all the times he had come home late and sent her away to work in peace.
            "Don't apologise." she silenced the Shelby harshly, guessing what he was about to say.
Tears clouded his vision.
            "Please, don't promise anything you can't keep, Thomas. Don't promise you'll do better, that you will love me differently, come home early, eat dinner by my side and go on dates twice a week. You should have changed a long time ago, and you have promised me all of these things. Do you remember? It was sealed by a kiss. You promised me on our wedding day that you would respect, honour, and protect me." she screamed, crying a river.
            "I beg your forgiveness, forgive me. Please," he begged.
Bones threatened to pierce his skin. Tears flowed in torrents. He collapsed like a house of cards under the pressure of the words in front of the sofa. The material sagged under his touch. Carefully he placed his hands on her body, didn't wish to inflict any more harm, had wounded her too severely, pressed her carefully towards him and Y/N did not resist. He buried his head in the nape of her neck. Warmth travelled down her chest and in shock she realised he was crying.
Thomas breathed words into her ear, soft promises, telling her how much he loved and adored her, sorry for everything he had done, knew how foolish he was, promised things Y/N had not said, mentioning her beloved flower, sang a poem about the beauty of her eyes, how much he needed her. The last wall of defence crumbled and turned to ashes. Ice melted away, and Y/N lowered her hands on his back, felt the burden resting on his frame, and brushed it away as if it weighed nothing.
Thomas prayed to the deity and cupped her cheeks with his sweaty hands. His fingers were shaking. Y/N returned the gesture and laid her palm on his cheek. Thomas smiled weakly, his gaze fell on her hand, felt a pleasant coolness, did not lose the last spark of hope, noticed she was wearing the ring mirroring his. Hearts collided, skimming waves, clashing torrents playing with the lost sailor, but the full moon summoning the horrific swells bit farewell.
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