#bring your long stakes (stakes as in poker long as in it's a long shot)

[weidli]

bring your long stakes

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Live Bait

Part 2 of Rescue by Lauren Daigle

Summary: After spending time with Maria and Natasha in Norway, they've decided to bring you to the Avengers Compound. Unfortunately, your life remains complicated and wild as you try to navigate living with the rest of the Avengers and the possibility of meeting your father.

Relationship: blackhill x daughter!reader, Winter Solider x daughter!reader, Avenger x reader (platonic)

Warning: mention of death, mention of Red Rauma/HYDRA abuse, anxiety, kidnapping, injuries, gun shot, gambling, angst with fluff,

Word: 9.3k

Sneaking back into the States was something out of an action movie and a bucket list item you didn’t know you had. Your face had to be hidden to avoid facial recognition from nearby cameras and if you had to speak with anyone you mimicked an English accent. It was high stakes but it was so much fun. Finally, you landed on the helipad of the Avengers compound. Your body was shaking with excitement and nervousness as Natasha and Maria completed their post-landing routine. “How are you doing kid?” Natasha asked. You knew you couldn’t lie to her right now. Your poker face wouldn’t be convincing.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” you admitted. Your leg was shaking, bouncing up and down. Natasha stood up from the copilot seat and walked over to you. She knelt in front of you, holding out her hands with her palms facing up. It was a new addition to your relationship with the Black Widow. You would place your hands on top of hers and you would keep them there until your emotions were under control. It helped you more than the breathing techniques. It grounded you. Your hands were clammy when you placed them on top of Natasha’s.

“Tell me what’s going on,” you liked the feeling of her hands. They were warm, calloused, and rough against yours.

“I-” you stopped and gave yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. “What if they don’t like me?” You whispered. She smiled, rubbing her thumb across the back of your hand. “And I want them to like me but I know I can be difficult,” you made yourself giggle.

“They are going to love you and if they don’t I’ll punch them,” you smiled, and your leg stopped bouncing.

“She may have a better punch than you, darling,” you looked at Maria. She was walking over to you. “They’ve been very excited to meet you.”

“My sister and best friend will be the first people you meet and you’ll meet everyone else when you are ready, okay?” You nodded, taking your hands off of hers.

“Okay,” you sighed. “Sorry about that. That was-”

“You better not say stupid,” she pinched your sides playfully. You giggled and stood up, walking with the couple to the ramp. The New York sun shined on the ramp and at the bottom was a blonde and a brunette You let out a shaky breath, put your best poker face on, and followed them. You stayed behind the couple, letting Natasha hug the blonde and Maria greeted the man.

“So,” the blonde said, you were surprised by the thicker Russian accent. “You’re my niece.” “I am,” you said, keeping your eye contact with her. Her eyes were a similar green to Natasha’s. “So you’re my aunt.” She smiled, and a fondness grew in her eyes at the title.

“I am,” she repeated. “My sister says you are kind of a badass,” your body heated up at the compliment. You looked at your mom.

“Are you talking about me behind my back?” She rolled her eyes, throwing her arm around my shoulders.

“I like bragging about my kid, sue me,” you smiled, finding yourself leaning in her embrace. “So my sister is Yelena and that handsome devil is Clint.” Clint rolled his eyes.

“You’re an idiot,” he deadpanned but his face softened when he looked at you. “It’s very nice to meet you. Why don’t we show you around?” The compound was amazing! You found the place massive compared to the RV you were living in. You were a little upset it took Natasha this long to show you this place. There was so much room for activity, you loved the gun range. The whole training facility was your favorite.

“Where is everyone?” Maria asked when you reached the end of the tour. You sat at the kitchen counter while Natasha made you a peanut butter sandwich. Clint sighed, pouring a cup of coffee.

“We wanted to create a divergent to ensure you guys got back into the States safely,” Natasha glanced at her friend. “They took the bait and the team is hoping they get lucky. They’ve been gone for 5 days.” Your mom placed the sandwich in front of you. You were hungry but the idea of people you didn’t know fighting to keep you safe made your stomach twist.

“They’re gonna be okay, right?” You questioned.

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded. “They’ll be okay.” She wasn’t lying. You sighed, taking a bite of your sandwich.

“Nemnogo krasnyy (little red),” Yelena said. You titled your head when no one acknowledged her. You pointed to yourself. She nodded.

“What did you call me?” You questioned.

“Little Red. You like?” It wasn’t the worst nickname you’ve heard so you nodded. “Do you want to play in the shooting range?” Your eyes grew wide.

“Yes!” You jumped off the chair. “Let’s go.” You followed your aunt to the training area.

“She better be in one piece, Belova” Natasha’s voice called after you as you both broke out in a run.”

*

After dinner with Clint and Yelena, Natasha found you lying on the couch with Maria. You were resting your head on Maria’s lap, watching a movie. The Black Widow slipped next to her girlfriend. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It wasn’t under the most ideal circumstances that her family was together, there was still a real threat to her and your life. But she was happy to have this time together. You shifted on the couch and pulled the blanket over you. “Do you want to go to bed, dorogoy (sweetheart)?” Yelena put you through an intense workout, you almost fell asleep at dinner. It was nice to see you smile and joke around with Clint and Yelena. She was excited to see you interact with the rest of the team. You groaned, leaning into Maria more.

“Wanna watch the movie,” you whispered. Maria chuckled.

“We can pause it and watch it tomorrow,” she ran her fingers through your hair. “Yelena put you through the wringer, didn’t see.” You sighed, flipping on your back to look up at the couple.

“It was fun,” you said. “But my body hurts.” Natasha laughed, pausing the movie.

“Come on, buttercup,” the Black Widow stood up and pulled you off her girlfriend. “It’s time to go to bed,” you nodded, rubbing your eyes.

“Night Maria. See you in the morning,” she said goodnight to you and you followed the Black Widow to the room they deemed as yours. You crawled into bed and Natasha pulled the blanket over you.

“Are you still nervous to meet the rest of the team?” Natasha watched you think it over. You sat up and put your hands out with palms facing up. Without hesitation, Natasha placed her hands on top of yours.

“What happens if the Avengers can’t catch him?” You asked instead. “Will I be hiding for the rest of my life?”

“That is a big ‘What if’ because we will stop him,” it was a hefty promise to make but Natasha wasn’t going to stop until you were safe. “You won’t be hiding forever. Once he is dealt with, you can do whatever you want. Your life will go back to normal,” you nodded but Natasha knew there was more on your mind. She squeezed your hands. “Come on, what else is on your mind?” You sighed.

“What is going to happen to him?” You asked.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “Fury will probably want to speak with him to try to get information on HYDRA but after that, I’m not sure.” Natasha was conflicted. There were moments during training or missions when Natasha saw the man behind the monster HYDRA created. You nodded, removing your hands from hers. You laid back down and Natasha fixed the blanket around you. “Remember what I said, okay? I’ll be your shelter and armor. There is no distance I won’t cover to get you.” She pushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Okay,” you whispered. “Night Mom,” Natasha smiled. She was never going to get tired of you calling her that.

“Goodnight sweetheart,” the Black Widow kissed the top of your head. She stayed until your breathing slowed and you were fast asleep. She hoped you didn’t notice how scared and worried she was. Her small family was finally whole again. If she were to lose you when she just got you, she worried who she would become to get you back. But she couldn’t let those thoughts consume her. Right now you are asleep and safe. She only focused on that.

*

The smell of cinnamon woke Natasha up. She felt around in the bed and found the spot next to her empty and cold. Figuring it was her girlfriend in the kitchen, she got out of bed, put on when of Maria’s long sleeves, and made her way to the kitchen. Maria was engrossed in making French toast she didn’t hear Natasha walk up behind her. The Black Widow put her arms around her waist. “I could have cooked, baby,” she kissed her girlfriend’s shoulder. Maria leaned back in her girlfriend’s embrace.

“Fury woke me up,” she flipped the French Toast that was in the pan. “The team got back late last night. He wants to have a meeting.” Natasha stood next to her, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Are they okay?” Maria nodded.

“The usual cuts and bruises but they are good,” but the sigh Maria let out worried Natasha. “According to Fury, there is some tension between Stark and Rogers.” That wasn’t new. The due always seemed to be getting underneath each other’s skin. Natasha frowned.

“Did he elaborate?” Maria shook her head. “Cool,” she deadpanned, sipping on her coffee. “When’s the meeting?”

“20 minutes,” she glanced towards your room. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted her to be there.” Natasha sighed.

“I’ll go wake her up and ask her,” she kissed Maria’s cheek and sat the coffee mug on the counter. When she opened your door, the sight made her smile. You were still asleep, on your stomach with your arms hugging the pillow you were using. Natasha knelt next to you, a gentle hand on your back. “Sweetheart, wake up,” you didn’t. “Wake up.” You groaned, opening your eyes. You blinked a few times, your mind and eyes still laced with sleep.

“Morning,” you mumbled, stretching.

“Morning,” she smiled. “So I know it’s early but the team went back last night and there is a meeting in about 20 minutes. Do you want to be there?” You blinked at her, giving your brain a chance to process the information.

“Do you want me to be there?” You questioned and sat up. Natasha sat down in front of you.

“I want whatever you want. You can come or go back to bed,” you bite your lip and pick at the edge of the blanket.

“Can I stay here?” You whispered. The Black Widow nodded.

“Of course,” she smiled. “Maria is making breakfast so eat when you are ready.” You nodded with a smile but Natasha could see that you were hiding something. She wasn’t going to force you to talk and hoped you would come to her when you were ready. So, she stood up, kissed you on top of your head, and walked to the door. Before she left, she glanced at you one more time. You were lying back down, pulling the covers back over you. Natasha heard you let out a small sigh.

Gently, she closed the door behind her and rejoined Maria in the kitchen. A stack of French Toast was made. “She’s not coming,” Maria looked up from the report she was reading as Natasha took her coffee and a piece of French Toast from the top stack.

“Is she okay?” Natasha shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m worried this is happening all too fast,” Maria nodded and closed the report. She rounded the kitchen island to stand in front of her.

“It’s gonna be a tough adjustment, we live with a cast of characters,” the redhead smiled. “But she is resilient and strong, just like her mama.”

*

When she walked into the conference room, it was thick with tension. Steve and Tony were on opposite ends of the table. “Romanoff, Hill, it’s good to see you both states side. Fury said. She looked at the team. No visible injuries. They looked tired, hell even Vision looked exhausted.

“Glad to be back,” she sat down next to Wanda. “What do we know?” Maria sat down next to her, placing a hand on her thigh.

“Yesterday the team had the opportunity to capture the Winter Solider,” Fury said.

“That dude can punch,” Pietro said, rubbing his jaw. Oh, Natasha knew the strength behind the Winter Solider.

“But it was not a complete failure,” Fury pulled up a picture of the Winter Solider. Natasha saw Steve fidget out of the corner of her name. “We have a name. His real name is James Buchanan Barnes,” Natasha’s head snapped to look at Steve but he refused to look at her. “Which until last night, we thought was killed in action in World War II.” Her head was spinning. She couldn’t believe it.

“Steve-”

“Did you know?” The question stumped her. Of course, she didn’t know. “I mean you could have known and not told us,” Steve finally looked at her and she hated the look in his eyes, like she was the enemy. “You have a daughter that we knew nothing about.” Her jaw clenched.

“Watch your tone, Rogers,” Yelena threatened.

“Oh cut the shit, Capsicle,” Tony said. “Romanoff lying is no surprise. She and Belova were trained for that but what what is your excuse?” The conversation shifted away from the Black Widow to the billionaire and soldier.

“This is different,” Steve tried to defend himself.

“Bullshit!” Tony slammed his hand on the desk. Maria squeezed Natasha’s leg when she flinched from the noise. “We find out your long-lost buddy is alive and the whole team is ecstatic for you. Turns out I overhear you and birdie,” he pointed to Sam. “That your buddy killed my parents and you weren’t going to tell me.” Oh. OH. The tension between the two now was explained. Natasha saw Steve clench his jaw. “FRIDAY, play it.” Fury stepped out of the way as the screen behind him began to play a video. It was raining and a car slammed into a pool soon a motorcycle pulled up. The Winter Solider rounded the driver’s side where Howard Stark was on the ground. He beat the man and placed him back into the car. The same fate was met for Maria. The video ended and the room was silent. “So,” Tony broke it. “What do we do now?” Natasha found it odd that after all these years the video of the ‘car accident’ surfaced but she needed to keep the team together, it was their only shot of stopping him.

“I didn’t know, Steve,” she kept her voice steady even though she was sure he could hear her heart pounding. Her green eyes were trained on the table. God, she wanted to avoid this conversation. “In there and when I was assigned to missions, he was Winter. Sometimes I could see the man he was before HYDRA got to him but then they would reset him and it would be gone.”

“Reset him?” Rhodey questioned.

“Reset him how?” Sam added. That godforsaken chair. Natasha could still see it, hear his screams in her ears. Maria gave her leg another squeeze, it was the only thing keeping her in this room.

“Sestra,” she looked at Yelena. Her green eyes showed her concern. Natasha sighed.

“It’s how they keep him under their control,” she looked at Steve. “Let me guess, he didn’t recolonize you,” the soldier nodded.

“He didn’t even recognize his name.” Her eyes went back to the table.

“Because he’s Soldat to them,” the name tasted vile on her tongue. “HYDRA has this chair. They would strap him to it and electrify him,” she barely heard Tony let out a quiet, ‘Jesus’. “If we went on a mission on Saturday, he would get reset on Sunday and in training on Monday he would have no idea who I was,” Natasha tore her eyes away from the table to look at Tony. “I am deeply sorry for what happened to your parents but it wasn’t him. Someone made him do that, he had no choice.”

“None of us did,” Yelena added on. Natasha saw Clint whisper something in her ear. The blonde nodded.

“So what do we do?” Wanda questioned. “They can’t stay in hiding forever and the longer he is out there more people are going to get hurt.” She was right. You were his mission and that meant he would stop at nothing to complete it.

“The most logical option is to set up a trap,” Vision said, leaning back and folding his hands. “So we can have control over all variables.” The Black Widow placed her hand on top of Maria’s.

“He won’t come out again unless it’s believable,” Rhodey added on. “It has to involve his target.” You. You offered to be bait but that was out of misplaced trust and anger.

“Sedlala by ona eto (Would she do it)?” Yelena asked.

“Ty khochesh’, chtoby ona eto sdelala (Do you want her to do it)?” Clint clarified. Natasha’s gut instinct was to say, hell no, and they could find another way. But she that every option would be covered.

“English would be preferred,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“I’d like to come up with another option before we use her,” she said, cringing at the way she said ‘use’. It made her think about her time at the Red Room. The Windows were seen as objected to being used. She sighed. “I understand you are putting your life on the line for a child you haven’t met yet.”

“Yet?” Same questioned, smiling. “So we can meet her.” Natasha nodded.

“Yes soon,” she said. “But thank you I should have said that sooner.”

“We are family, Nat,” Wanda looked at her then to Tony and Steve. “Sometimes we keep things from each other because we think it’s for the best but at the end of the day, we will always be there for each other.” Tony huffed.

“Yeah, yeah, put the witchy powers down, kid.” Tony stood up and made his way over to Steve, holding out his hand. “Let’s go save him, okay?” Steve looked at the extended hand to him then Tony’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he took it. “I should have told you as soon as I found out.” The billionaire shrugged.

“It’s in the past, let’s work towards a brighter future.” The previous tension seemed to evaporate and Fury informed them that they’ll have a meeting soon to come up with a plan. But the team deserved to rest. One by one they began to trickle out but Natasha stayed sitting, she heard the unspoken words Fury wanted to say.

Soon it was Natasha, Maria, and Fury left. The director smiled the closest thing to a smile. “I’d like to meet her,” he said. “If she’s comfortable with that.”

“FRIDAY, where is she?” Natasha asked the AI.

“She has gotten out of bed and is watching cartoons,” FRIDAY advised. “Should I inform her that you would like to see her?”

“We’ll come to her,” Maria said. “Let her know we’ll have a guest.”

*

A guest. That was all the AI said to you which gave you a heart attack, not expecting another voice. The door of the small apartment opened and you paused the show you were watching. Your mom and Maria walked in with a man wearing an eye patch followed behind him. “How was the meeting?” You asked. “Did they get him?” Natasha shook her head.

“But we did find something out,” she said. “I’d like you to meet Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD.” You stood up, whipping your hand on your pants before you shook the man’s hand.

“It’s good to finally meet you in person, kid.” you smiled.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” you let go of his hand and followed the group into the kitchen. You sat on a bar stool while Nick poured himself some coffee and the couple plated the leftover breakfast. “So what happened?” You asked.

“We found out his real identity,” Fury said, taking a sip of coffee. “His name is James Barnes, a-”

“Steve Roger’s best friend,” you cut the man off, eyes slightly wide. “I thought he was killed in World War II,” your mom raised her eyebrow at you. You shrugged. “I paid attention in history class.” It was your second favorite subject in school.

“That is what everyone thought,” Maria said. “Until the team confirmed his identity this week.” She sat down next to you. “Which has caused some tension,” you looked between the couple, asking an unasked question. Natasha sighed.

“Steve believes I knew his true identity and kept it from him but I didn’t know,” you frowned, seeing the truth in her eyes. But you saw the hurt too that his teammate lost trust in her.

“That’s not all,” Fury said. “Turns out the Winter Solider is responsible for the death of Howard and Maria Stark.” Oh. That complicated things.

“Well,” you said slowly. “I guess we have something in common.” The Black Widow snorted at your poor attempt at a joke. You smirked. “So to recap, the Winter Solider is James Barnes, Steve Roger’s long lost best friend who killed the Starks and is after me. This man happens to be my biological father, which I’m guessing the team knows?” You questioned.

“Yes.”

“Cool,” you mumbled, running your hands through your hair. “So what do we do?”

“We are working on that,” Fury said, pushing off the counter he was leaning on to walk over to you. You spun around in the chair to face him, keeping eye contact with his good eye. You kept your face neutral. He was reading you. The ends of his lip curled up in a smile. “You got a good poker face, kid.”

“So I’ve been told,” you said. “Now what do you want?” He shook his head.

“Nothing,” he said. Well, that was a bald-faced lie. “Not right now at least. We’ll be seeing each other soon.” He quickly left the apartment. You raised an eyebrow, looking back at the couple.

“What a weird dude,” you mumbled. The couple laughed. “This plan that is being worked on, does it involve me?”

“They want to set up a trap,” Maria told you. “So we can control every outcome.”

“But I told them that using you was the last resort,” your mom said. “And you can back out if you don’t want to do it.” You nodded.

“I know,” you were nervous. “If I can help I want to.” You wanted to help that was the truth. Each day he walked freely but you and others were in danger. That reality didn’t stop you from being scared. Scared for yourself. Scared for the team. Scared for Natasha on the possibility she would have to face him again. But were you ready? All your life you wondered and dreamed about your biological. Now all the answers were laid out in front of you and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

*

When the couple was done with breakfast, you helped clean up and you changed out of the clothes you slept in. “You don’t have to meet them right now,” Natasha said, opening the door for you.

“Well, I can’t stay locked away in my room forever like Rapunzel. Oh! That reminds me, we should watch Tangled. It’s my favorite Disney movie,” Natasha chuckled, rustling your hair with her hand.

“Sure, we can watch it tonight,” you fixed your hair before entering the common area. The Avengers were there. You found Clint and Yelena right away, the blonde offered you a small smile. You returned it. “Guys, I like you to meet someone,” Natasha got the attention of everyone in the room. Oh, there were a lot of eyes on you. Your mom introduced you. Wanda and Vision were in the kitchen while Tony and Rhodey were at the dining room table discussing something on a tablet. That left Sam and Steve on the couch. The blonde super soldier kept looking at you and then back to Natasha. His blue eyes would linger on yours. Tony whistled.

“You really said copy and paste with this one.” Before you could respond, a strong gust of wind spun you around and pulled you away from Maria and Natasha. A man with white hair had his arm swung over your shoulders.

“So this is the fresh meat,” he pinched your cheek.

“And this pain in the ass is Pietro,” Maria deadpanned. Pietro chuckled and sped off behind Maria.

“You love me, Hill.”

“Pietro,” Wanda warned. “Be nice.” He quickly moved over to Wanda.

“You do know I’m older than you.” You smiled, shaking your head. There was a set of twins in your class back in California. You wondered how your classmates were doing. What were they told when news of your parents’ death hit and you disappeared? How was Sarah or Agent Cruise? You made a mental note to ask Natasha about them. The conversation flowed naturally with the Avengers. They asked about your likes and dislikes and your life before all this. The anxiety you were feeling was melting away. Suddenly, Steve stood up and left. The room grew quiet as everyone watched him leave.

“What’s got his panties in a twist?” Tony asked. You looked at your mom and her eyes showed how conflicted you were. You sighed and followed the man, ignoring the call of your name. The soldier was by a pond that rested on the compound’s property. He was sitting on the deck, getting lost in the water. But you knew he heard you by the way his shoulders moved.

“Tony is wrong,” he said. “All I see is Bucky when I look at you,” he shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” You took it as an invitation to join him on the bench. Out of the corner of your eye, he looked at you and began to laugh. “Sorry, I know this isn’t funny.” You smiled softly.

“It’s fine,” you told him. “Sometimes all you can do is laugh about everything.” You sat back, folding your hands on your lab. “I was lucky that I was given to a loving family but it didn’t stop me from questioning who gave me up. Can you imagine my surprise when I find out the Black Widow and Winter Solider are my biological parents?” He chuckled. You finally looked at the man. “She’s telling the truth, she didn’t know,” Steve looked back at the water. “But I get it. It’s easier to blame someone else in this messy world.” He sighed.

“I blame myself not Nat.” You hummed.

“Can you tell me about him?” You asked. The super soldier was silent. You feared you overstepped but you allowed the man to gather his thoughts. There had to be a lot of emotions running around inside him. He discovered his best friend was alive but at what cost?

“Bucky was loyal,” he began. “He protected me and everyone around him that couldn’t stand up for themselves. He was funny, kind, and my brother,” Steve looked at you. “I guess that makes me your uncle.” You laughed, pumping your shoulder against his.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” He nodded. You saw a stone resting on the dock and you stood up to pick it up. It was flat, a perfect stone to skip. Summers were spent by the water. You would spend hours looking for the perfect rocks to skip.

“I’m scared,” you said, running your thumb over the smooth surface before skipping it across the pond.

“Why are you scared?” You turned around to face the blonde and leaned against the wooden post.

“That you and the team are going to get hurt protecting me,” you admitted. “I don’t want that to happen.” He smiled.

“It’s our job,” Steve said. “We signed up for this life.” You frowned, walked over to him, and held out your hand. He placed his on top of yours. His was different, it was warm and rough.

“You may have signed up for it,” you said. “Doesn’t mean I want it to happen.” He closed his hand and squeezed yours.

“We’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Okay,” you were sure if you liked promises. Once upon a time, your adoptive parents promised they would always be around but now they were gone. Would they keep their promises to you?

*

“That’s it!” Natasha heard Tony yell as she walked into the common area. She changed out of the clothes she wore on her date with Maria into something more comfortable. It was nice spending time with just her girlfriend and Yelena said she would keep an eye on you. She wasn’t expecting to walk in to see you, Tony, Clint, Rhodey, and Sam sitting around a round table playing poker. You threw your cards down and pulled the ‘pot of winnings’ closer to you. The pot was candy and Natasha saw you had the biggest pile. “Your daughter is a cheater.” You looked at the Black Widow, a twinkle in your eye and you unwrapped a jolly rancher.

“You’re a sore loser,” you said, popping the blue candy in your mouth. “Come on let’s play again.” The table groaned as you divided up your pile. Natasha chuckled and joined her sister at the kitchen counter. The blonde had a few files and a bottle of vodka.

“How long has that been going on?” Yelena glanced at the table with a smile.

“About an hour,” Natasha poured herself a shot. “She’s already beat Steve, Vision, and Pietro. Those idioty (idiots) think they can win.” Clint gasped.

“I heard that Belova.”

“You boys know she can count cards, right?” Natasha questioned. It was your turn to gasp.

“I knew it!” You ducked as a smarties got thrown at your head and grabbed the chocolate bar in the middle. Your laughter was music to Natasha’s ears as you jogged over to them and jumped in the empty chair.

“Mom,” you whined. “I was winning. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am, dorogoy. But we have to protect their egos.” You giggled and opened the candy bar. The Black Widow watched you glance at the folders Yelena was reading. Your eyes did a double take. “What is that?”

“I know that man,” you pointed at the picture. “He was at a few poker games.” Yelena closed the folder.

“These poker games,” Yelena said. “Where did they take place?”

“All over the city,” you told her. “Mostly at bars in the back room or warehouses.” The blonde looked at her sister.

“If we send agents to these locations we may find some HYDRA informants that could lead us to the Winter Solider,” she explained. “Do you think you can tell us where they happened?” You shrugged.

“I can try,” you said, taking another bite of the chocolate. “I was young when I went to some of them.” Natasha nodded.

“Run it by Fury,” Yelena cleaned up the folders and left to call the director.

“How was your date with Maria?” You asked once it was just you and her. The Black Widow smiled.

“It was good,” she enjoyed the one-on-one time with her but it was weird having dinner without out, even Maria said something about it. You smiled, breaking off a square, and handed it to her. Natasha took it. “Do you still want to watch Tangled or do you want to beat the boys again?”

“I will choose Tangled over anything.” Natasha chuckled, throwing her arm over your shoulders. You leaned into her embrace.

“It’s nice to see that,” you hummed in question. “Your smile, sweetheart, your smile.”

*

“Again,” Yelena ordered. You let out a shaky breath as Steve threw the metal shield. It bounced off the practice dummies and came towards you. You caught it the way Steve showed you, feet slipping slightly but you used the force to propel yourself forward and through the shield back. It took the same path as it traveled back to Steve. The super soldier caught it with ease.

“It’s fascinating,” you heard Tony say with a tablet in his hands. “She’s a mini Romanoff.” Yelena nodded and Steve threw it again. This time it was in a rapid session. Every time you caught it, you threw it right back and Steve did the same.

“Do you think Barnes and Nat could have passed down a version of the serum?” Sam asked. That was the theory they wanted to test after you outran Sam and could keep up with Steve.

“We won’t know until her blood work comes back,” the billionaire said. “But it does seem that way.” You let out a breathless laugh. It was another thing to add to your list.

“What the hell are you doing to my kid?” Natasha asked, entering the training room as you caught the shield for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Romanoff, come look at this,” she glared at Tony as she walked over to him. The billionaire showed her the tablet, her facial expression was unreadable.

“Stop using her as some science experiment,” she marched over to you, ripped the shield out of your hands, and threw it at Steve. “My pogovorim ob etom pozzhe (We will talk about this later). She glared at Yelena.

“Mom,” you said as she pulled you away from the other Avengers. “Mom,” you repeated. “I’m fine.”

“Sit,” she pointed to the chair. You did as you were told as she disappeared. When she returned, she was holding a first aid kit. “Does this look fine,” she held up your arm to show you the bruising. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that those bruises were the second round. The others already healed. She knelt in front of you, adding some cream to your arm.

“They are saying that you or Bucky passed down a version of the serum to me,” you watched the Avengers set up another training session this time with Vision and the Maximoff twins. Natasha sighed.

“Maria and I had a similar conversation in Norway,” you looked back at the Black Widow. Her green eyes were already looking up at you.

“How does that change things if that test comes back positive?” You whispered.

“It changes nothing, honey,” your mom said. “You are still my daughter nothing else matters.”

“But will that make me an Avenger?” Natasha shook her head.

“Just because you are different or special doesn’t mean you need to be an Avenger. It will always be your choice. I won’t or Fury or the rest of the team will not force or guilt you to join,” she gently ran her fingers over the bruises that were already beginning to heal. “When you get older and you decide you want to join the team, I will support you tenfold.” You connected your hands with hers and looked at the woman in front of you. In Norway, while the couple was asleep, you opened Maria’s laptop and searched for Natasha Romanoff. Quickly, you learned the things she was subjected to, and the horrors she faced to become the hero the world knew her as. Everything was not her choice. She was forced to become the Black Widow, forced to lie and kill, forced to have you, and forced to give you away. Her life choices were made for her, she wasn’t going to let it happen to you.

“Okay,” you smiled. “Thank you.” Natasha smiled and cleaned up the used medical supplies.

“Try to take it easy in training,” she kissed your forehead. “You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack.” You giggled.

“Yes ma’am. Be nice to Yelena. She made sure I was okay.”

“No promises,” she winked at you and walked over to her sister. You sighed, leaning back in the chair. What a weird life you were living.

*

Tony called you, Maria, and Natasha into his lab the following morning. He said that the test results were inconclusive due to him only finding fragments of the serum in your DNA when he compared it to Steve and Natasha. But the Black Widow told him that Widows were given different versions of the serum than the one they gave Steve. With this new information, a training schedule was made to prepare you. It was still uncertain if the Avengers were going to use you but you enjoyed training with people other than Natasha and Maria. Hand-to-hand combat with Steve, conditioning with Pietro (which you thought was unfair), and weapon training with Clint and Yelena. But your days weren’t fully spent dripped in sweat and your body aching, your mom made sure of it. You spent time with Wanda in the kitchen, played video games with Sam and Rhodey, and annoyed Tony in this lab. It was fun but you felt like you weren’t doing enough to help. The team met almost every day to brainstorm ideas, but they came up empty.

You were sitting with Yelena looking at the map of the city you grew up in to try to rack your brain where these poker games took place. You remembered a few spots; Ray’s Bar because the owner gave you sour candy and the warehouse by the pier because it smelt bad. You hated going to those games, the smell seemed to stay with you days after the game was over.

You sighed, taking a grape from the fruit bowl Wanda made for you. “What’s wrong Nemnogo krasnyy (little red)?” Yelena asked, continuing to type her mission request to Fury.

“It’s stupid,” a piece of cheese was thrown at your forehead. “What was the for?”

“Because if something is bothering you it’s not stupid. So talk,” You ate the cheese she threw at you.

“I feel like I’m not doing enough to help. I want to do more,” you slumped down into your chair. “I hate feeling worthless.” Yelena closed the laptop and stood up. You heard her approaching footsteps but you didn’t look at her until she was right in front of you.

“You are not worthless,” she said, kneeling to your level. “Your job is to stay safe. That is what the team wants, especially your mama.” You shrugged. Yelena tapped your leg. “What can I do to help?” Well since she asked…

“I want to read possible case files the Winter Solider has been connected to.”

“Absolutely not,” she said, standing up suddenly and going back to her laptop.

“Aunt Lena,” you called after her and was quick to follow her. “I know nothing about him. Wouldn’t it be smart for me to know everything I can?” She opened the laptop slowly. “Think about it. If you guys were to use me as bait it needs to be believable so for it to be believable I need to know everything about my target.” The blonde sighed.

“Your mother will kill me.”

“She won’t know I got them from you. I’ll blame Clint or tell her FRIDAY gave them to me.” She rubbed her forehead.

“Fine, I’ll get the files, okay? Just be careful.” You squealed, wrapping her arms around her neck.

“You are the best! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She shook her head, chuckling.

“I know I am. Now get back to work,” you stood at attention, gave her a mock salute, and ran back over to the map. It was a start and you were excited! The possibility of reading case files made you feel like a spy, like your mom!

*

You called it an early night, claiming you were tired from training. Both Natasha and Maria seemed to believe it so you had time to read the files Yelena gave you. She was right when they said they didn’t have a lot and many of them were speculated that the Winter Solider was responsible. He was that good, that deadly, that feared that if there were witnesses no one would talk. Sighing, you bit down on the pen you were using. This was your father. Steve told you that he was loyal and protective but in these files, you saw none of that. How much did HYDRA get rid of? “Hey, sweetheart,” you jumped as the door opened and had little time to put the files away before your mom walked in. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” you squeaked out. She glared at you as she walked into your room. Natasha picked up one of the files and read it over. Then another and another until all of them were in your hands.

“Where did you get these?”

“I found them,” you lied. You hated lying to her but you wanted to protect your aunt. “I wanted to learn more about him so I went searching,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I’m sorry.” Natasha sat down in front of you, the files on the floor but you refused to look at her.

“Can you look at me?” It took you a moment but you looked up at her. “I’m not angry, okay? I just wish you had come and talked to me about this instead of reading those. Those files,” she pointed to them. “Only tell one side of the story.”

“Steve told me about Bucky but I want to know about-”

“The Winter Solider.” She cut you off. You nodded. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

“I didn’t want to upset you. I know it’s a sensitive topic,” she gave you a sad smile.

“You could never upset me, okay?” She placed her hand on your cheek and kissed your forehead. She quickly moved next to you and pulled you into her arms. “So what do you want to know?”

“Anything you want to share,” in a similar fashion to Steve, she took her time before she spoke. You took her hand and began to trace the lines on the palm of her hand.

“He was Winter to me and some of the other Widows,” she began. “He was a strict trainer, very serious on missions, and quiet. Some days he terrified me but other days he was kind,” you heard the slight shake in her voice but you didn’t dare attention to it. “No matter what though he was extremely protective of me and the other Widows. If a mission were to go wrong, he would take the blame and accept the punishment.”

“Did you love him?” You found yourself asking. Natasha let out a shaky breath, you felt it on the top of your head.

“Not in the way I love Maria but in some way I did. In there, it was rare to see any kindness so when he should it to me I accepted it.” You spun around so you were lying on your stomach and looking up at her. You noticed her green eyes were glossy with tears.

“I’m sorry.” You said.

“Why are you apologizing?” You were sure but it felt like you needed to say it. Maybe you were apologizing for everything she went through. Did anyone tell her they were sorry? Sorry for taking you away. Sorry for forcing her to have you. Sorry for robbing her of her childhood.

“Just thought you needed someone to tell you that.” You whipped away that fell down her cheek. “Do you think I can sleep with you and Maria tonight? Those files were not child-appropriate.” A deep laugh was pulled out of your mom and you counted that as a win.

“Come on buttercup. Let’s go to bed.”

*

You were lost, unable to follow the conversation as you sat through another meeting to come up with a plan. Somehow Steve and Tony started arguing and your mom tried to stop them. Damn, your head was going to split open. “Enough!” Your sudden outburst got the attention of the room. You stood up from your spot in the corner and walked to the table. “You know damn well it won’t work.” Maria gasped.

“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk,” you rolled your eyes at her. You looked around the table, Steve and Tony settled down in their chairs, and your eyes locked on Natasha. “Use me. I’m ready. I’ve trained, I’ve studied, and we know he won’t come out unless I’m there.”

“Sweetheart,” your mom pleaded but you held up your hand to stop her.

“I’ve thought about it, every possible outcome, and I know how dangerous he is. I mean I saw him murder my parents.” Tony mumbled, ‘Twins,’ under his breath. “But we have to stop him. The longer HYDRA has him the more people will get hurt. We have to save him,” the team was quiet, as they had a silent conversation with one another. But Natasha’s eyes stayed on you, afraid if she looked away you would disappear right before her eyes. “Come on guys,” you whined. “We got this! You are the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes. You’ll protect me.” They were waiting for Natasha’s approval, no one was going to speak before her. You kept your heart steady and your poker face down so she could see everything. Finally, she sighed.

“I don’t like it,” she admitted. Then again who would? She was going to have to watch her daughter be live bait. “But she’s right, it’s our only option.” You smiled, nodding your head.

“How we do proceed?” Vision asked. “We must ensure the capture of Sargent Barnes and the safety of Miss. Romanoff.” You liked Vision. He was the only Avenger to call you, ‘Miss. Romanoff’, it made you feel more connected to her.

“Actually,” you raised your hand slowly. “I have an idea.”

*

“Little red,” you looked up from your phone. Steve was walking towards you with two men. The nickname seemed to spread once Yelena said it in front of the team. You heard it more than your actual name, it made you feel like a superhero. “I want you to meet some people.” You stood up and met the trio halfway. “This is Agent Brock Rumlow and Secretary Alexander Pierce.” You shook the men’s hands. You’ve seen them around the compound, a handful of times but you’ve never been introduced. “Agent Rumlow will be in charge of the SHIELD agents assigned to this mission.”

“I must say it’s a good plan. I was told you came up with it,” Pierce said. You nodded.

“Yes sir,” you said. “I knew the only way to ensure his capture was if it was believable and I was present.” Pierce smiled, you didn’t like it. A chill went down your spine.

“You’re a brave kid,” he said and the four of you began the walk to the conference room. It was the final meeting, to make sure all the Ts were crossed and Is were dotted. Rumlow trailed behind you, Pierce, and Steve.

“Are you not scared?” He asked. “The Winter Solider isn’t someone to be messed with.” You hated his tone but you brushed it off, there were other things to worry about.

“Terrified,” you admitted. “But I know all of you have my back,” Steve opened the door. “Right, Agent Rumlow?” You asked him, refusing to enter the room. He smirked.

“Right, Little Red.” Oh, you hated the way he said your name. You walked into the room and sat between Natasha and Maria. Immediately, your mom grabbed onto your hand and squeezed it. You squeezed it back.

*

With the plan in motion, you were starting to feel sick to your stomach. The busy New York streets were doing nothing to calm your nerves, even though you could pinpoint the SHIELD agents stationed around you. This was your plan after all. For the past few days, you were sending text messages to your ‘friends’ back home and claimed you hated living with the Avengers. You double-downed and said they were holding you against your will. Tony made sure your messages could be seen. Finally, a number you didn’t recognize messaged you and proclaimed they could get you away from them. A plan was made for you to sneak your way to New York City and meet at a cafe. Unbeknownst to your mysterious contact, the Avengers were in the loop. You would entertain the man until the Winter Solider made his appearance. As soon as he was there, you were to get to a predetermined location and a SHIELD agent would get you away from the fight.

You were given no coms. The only thing you were given was a bracelet with a tracker on it that your mom gave you. You sipped on your hot chocolate and played with the piece of jewelry. You wished you could hear your mom’s voice but you knew she was watching. So was Maria, Yelena, and Clint. “Hello,” you jumped at the sudden voice, hitting your knee against the table.

“Sorry,” you whipped the hot chocolate you split. “You startled me.” The man laughed and offered his hand. You shook it as he sat down. He wasn’t what you were expecting, glasses, long black hair, and tattoos. He chuckled.

“It’s fine. I can imagine you are on edge with everything going on,” you nodded as the man put a briefcase on the table.

“It’s been a crazy few months,” you admitted.

“Parents murdered by the Winter Solider and kidnapped by the Avengers,” you took a sip of your drink, it was still hot. “What made you want to get away from them now?” He asked.

“I just miss my friends,” your voice shaking was a good choice. You deserved an Oscar for this performance. “I miss my life before all this,” he opened the briefcase. “I want to go home.”

“I’ll get you home, sweetheart, trust me,” it happened rather quickly. The man reached for your hand and with his free one he had a small syringe. You had to admit it was ballsy, attacking in such a public location. But you were quick to pull your hand away and splash your hot chocolate on the man’s face. In his panic, you jumped over the metal fence and heard the man speak frantically in Russian, no doubt to the com he was wearing.

You got flashbacks as three black vans came rushing down the street, and innocent civilians dove out of the way. But you stayed, you needed confirmation. The man overcame his shock and jumped over the fence. He swung at you. You grabbed his fist and used his momentum to throw him over your body. With his back on the ground, you delivered a quick punch and he was out cold.

The vans stopped and there he was. An assault rifle was in his hands and his metal arm was shining in the sun. His eyes were glued to you as HYDRA agents poured down the street. You thought it was overkill but their attention was diverted when Tony flew overhead, blowing up one of the vans. That was your cue, you turned around and ran.

You thanked every conditioning session Pietro put you through because you made it to the alley in no time. “Little Red,” you sighed as you saw the SHIELD agent.

“Agent-” his name died on your lips as a gunshot went off and his body slumped to the ground. A hand went around your mouth before you could scream and a sharp prick on your neck made your eyes water. You tried to fight the assailant as he dragged you to a van, over the bodies of the other agents that were assigned to protect you. Whatever they injected you became too much, your eyes began to close as they threw you in the back of the van. The last thing you felt was them ripping the bracelet off your wrist before the world went dark.

*

You woke with a start. You dreamt that you were falling, screaming for someone to help you but no one was there. In the dim light, your eyes adjusted to the room, no cell, you were in. There was a toilet, a door with a caged window, a mattress you were lying on, and stood in the corner was him. The Winter Solider. You jumped to your feet and faced him. The sudden movement caused your head to spin but you remained standing. His eyes were cold, void of any emotion. If he knew who you were, he gave no indication. He looked at you like he was staring right through you. “Hi,” you squeaked out. God, your heart was beating so fast. Rattling against your rib cage. There was no way he couldn’t hear it then again you could hear his. You focused on it, the slow pace of his heart. You let out a shaky breath then another. Soon your heartbeat matched his and you looked at his face, half of it covered by that mask. There was a small spark in his blue eyes that quickly disappeared. He was impressed. “Where am I?” This time your voice was steady. Instead of answering, he closed the distance between you and him. You fought every nerve in your body that called out for you to run. But you stayed. Even when he towered over you and tried to force your back against the wall.

You were terrified, fear crept deep within your bones, as his eyes looked over every detail of your face. Was he trying to memorize it or find a memory? You weren’t sure. With his metal hand, he gripped your chin. You were surprised at how gently his touch was. “Who?” He grunted out, you almost missed it. Did he ask you who? What the hell was that? He could have added so many more words to make a thought. Instead, he asked you who? Before you could question him, the door opened and he was back in his corner. Four heavily armed men entered the room.

“Well, well, well,” you knew that voice. “Look whose finally up.”

“Rumlow,” you said as the SHIELD agent walked in followed by Pierce. “And Pierce.” What was going on? They worked for SHIELD, they were the good guys. Your stomach dropped at the realization. They beat you, you met someone with a better poker face than your own. You hated cheaters.

“The whore’s daughter is smart.” Rumlow chuckled. Your blood boiled but you had to be smart. You were given a losing hand and you weren’t ready to fold. Pierce held up his hand to silence him and stepped closer to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the Winter Solider move. The rest of the room missed it.

“What do you want from me?” The man grabbed a hold of your chin, forcing your head side to side. Winter grunted in the corner, this time the room heard it.

“Looks like she has a guard dog already,” Rumlow teased. Pierce dropped the hold he had on you, your jaw sore.

“Welcome to the new world order,” he said. “Hail HYDRA.”

-

Sorry! I know another part is annoying but this was getting really long. Good news is a lot of it is written soo I'm hoping to post it on Monday, maybe Sunday. Enjoy!

[writingfics-passingtime]

Loki Tickle Fluff Masterpost

ONE-SHOTS

Hide and Seek - A poorly-timed conversation leads to you desperately seeking the best place to escape from Loki's mischievous threats.

Innocent - Something of Loki's has gone missing and he's determined to get you to talk. The only problem? You're innocent.

Trapped - Your teammates are desperately trying to figure out how to free you from the rubble, but Loki just found out something new about you and he's not in a rush to be rescued.

Funnier Than That - You don't laugh, pretty much ever, and you certainly won't now that you know Loki wants you to.

Midgardian Weaknesses - A sparring match gone awry reminds Loki that some Midgardians have a particular weakness.

Safe House - The last thing you needed, after a blown mission and a long fight-filled day, was to be stuck in a safe house with Loki and only one bed.

Sweet Tooth - Baking sweet things for your teammates always calmed your mind after a tough mission, but Loki doesn't have a sweet tooth.

Call Your Bluff - A high-stakes poker game leaves Loki somewhat on the back foot, and he simply will not let that stand.

Road Rage - The worst place to be grouchy with your teammates, you found, was on a car ride stuck between two Asgardian brothers.

Pressure Points - After arriving home from a mission with your muscles tensed and locked, a certain Asgardian finds a way to help you with your pain.

Playing the Part - A nearly-blown cover forces you to get a little closer than usual to Loki, stirring up some feelings you didn’t know you had.

Under the Weather - A broken vial, an unknown substance, a very ill Agent and a guilt-stricken demigod makes for an interesting quarantine.

Sparks - Loki had spent a lot of time getting to know you. Then, after entering into a new relationship, he starts to feel as if you’re slipping away.

Fearless - Loki’s new in town and adjusting to life on Midgard. One thing he’s not used to? Those around him having the gall to throw taunts his way.

Ghost Stories - With Halloween just around the corner, you’ve declared yourself unafraid of ghosts. Loki is convinced he can change your mind.

Speed Racer - You’re good at making quick getaways but now you have an Asgardian demigod hot on your tail, ready to exploit his newfound knowledge.

One and the Same - Trapped in an interrogation room with a tall dark-haired man who’s supposedly a variant of you, the two of you try to determine whether or not you’re really one and the same.

Family Feud - After a late-night fight with your father over the phone, Loki helps ease the tension.

Understanding - After your defection to the Avengers, Loki is having an uncharacteristically difficult time figuring you out.

Downpour - You and Loki help each other through your fears in the wake of a near-death experience

Trust - Marred from past bad tickling experiences, Loki is a patient and safe place to land.

Instinct - Loki notices how you behave when stressed or under pressure, and also notices the peculiar method by which it can be alleviated.

Time Will Tell - After several years in a relationship with Loki, you suddenly realise you’re ageing but he’s not.

You Snooze, You Lose - After screwing up your sleep schedule the last time you’d returned from an all-nighter mission, you made Loki promise to help you stay awake until bedtime.

A Reason to Celebrate - [Collab with @just-another-blog-of-fluff] You and Loki find your own ways to celebrate the Christmas season.

-

MULTI-PART

Sleepyhead - Three times you fell asleep on Loki, the third time being the charm - Part One - Part Two

Worth It - Picking a tickle fight with the God of Mischief... is it really worth it? - Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Mischief Meets His Match - Your first trip to Asgard brings you face-to-face with an unlikely friend, teacher and equal; Prince Loki, the God of Mischief. Part One - Part Two - Part Three In Progress

Fighting Fair - Loki teaches a lesson on how to read an enemy during a fight. His golden rule? Anything that incapacitates your opponent is fair - Part One - Part Two

[90stvshowgoth]

—THE BET

summary: you thought that as a member of the phantom troupe you were supposed to be smarter than this, yet here you were betting against hisoka. everyone knew that hisoka was a master at poker, cards were his weapon after all, but you couldn’t resist wagering one more bet on a drinking game.

w/c: 4587

tags: dubcon, drunk sex, creampie, blood kink, hate sex, begging, brat taming

a/n: this originally started as a chrollo oneshot, you can kinda tell from how the opening paragraph is about him, but once i started writing the poker game i was like “okay no i gotta make this its own thing,” and because of that decision we now have loose ends getting ch.3 rn :) also no, i couldn’t help but kinda reference phantom of the opera cause it slaps and nobody can tell me otherwise. also, no, before anyone asks, this is a oneshot. it aint getting a sequel.

big thanks to the lovely miss @sealedrosewater for beta reading this clownfucking nightmare.

The heist had gone off without a hitch, Chrollo’s plan worked like a charm and before the night was out you had all flawlessly extracted each and every one of the gilded texts being held in the museum. You still remembered the childlike gleam in your boss’ eyes as he ran his fingers over the aged leather, its binding parchment laced with gold. The faintest ghost of a smile fled from his pallid lips as he admired his new conquest. It made your chest swell with pride, happy to help the man you respected so much. Besides, your cut was nothing to sneeze at.

Your rendezvous was inside a long-abandoned opera theatre where dust clung to the red velvet of the seats and the chandelier was seemingly hanging by a thread; your boss always had a flair for the dramatics. Once all members of the spider had finished reconvening at the empty theatre to gather their spoils it wasn’t long before someone, probably Uvogin, brought out the drinks. Nobunaga had already begun nursing a rum and coke, all while Feitan kept turning down Shal’s insistence to “Just try some, Fei,” Even Shizuku cracked open one of the ice-cold bottles, knocking back an impressive swig. As soon as you saw Machi pulling out a deck of cards you knew you had to stay for the after party.

Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said of your leader. He’d gone to his room with the book you recovered tucked under his arm. A few other members who couldn’t be bothered took after your leader and went off to whichever side room they’d stashed a futon in the week prior; the Phantom Troupe’s equivalent of picking out a bedroom. A shame, really. You’d seen Feitan drunk once before and it was truly a sight to behold.

You sat crosslegged on the wooden floor, watching your comrades slowly get comfortable for a night of fun. Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat above you, looking up to see Pakunoda with a soft smile on her face and an opened beer in her outstretched hand.

“Paku, have I ever told you how much I love you?” You couldn’t help but shower the woman with praise. She had been the one who recommended you to Chrollo after all, and she served as your mentor for your first few months until you found your feet.

She scoffed at the compliment, “Far too much,”

Sticking your tongue out playfully at the mindreader, you took a deep sip of beer, enjoying the familiar taste. Paku sat down beside you and it wasn’t long before the two of you were drinking shoulder to shoulder.

“Machi! Deal us in,” You raised your drink to the transmuter and she flicked two cards towards you both.

Scooting away from Paku, you quickly scanned the cards you’d received before pressing them face down. A queen and an ace. Not great, but not awful either.

The others had formed a haphazard circle, each glancing at their cards with an unreadable poker face. Well, all except Hisoka, who seemed pleased as punch with whatever hand he’d been dealt. Silently, Nobunaga took out two coins and threw them into the center— the Troupe’s house rules counting it to be equivalent to 2 billion jenny.

“Call,” you answered, matching the swordsman’s bet with an unreadable expression on your face.

“Oh? Well then, I’ll raise you,” Hisoka purred, pushing five extra chips into the pot without breaking his gaze from yours.

‘What was he planning?’ That smug look of his just made you want to win that much more. The same seemed to be true of everyone else, each calling the clown’s bet in a row. After all, to a member of the Phantom Troupe, five billion jenny wasn’t that much of a loss.

When Machi turned up the first three cards your heart skipped a beat. Two queens and a seven. Winning a round of poker against some of the smartest criminals the world had ever known was an uphill battle, seeing as how you’d been a member for years without winning a single game.

‘Three of a kind already... what should I do?’ Your face was as stone-cold as before, even with the excitement bubbling in your gut. As nonchalantly as you could, you raised another two billion. At that, Uvo and Shizuku both folded, the enhancer grumbling with a disappointed frown.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I haven’t got enough coins~” Hisoka slapped down a twenty, and a chorus of annoyed groans broke out like a choir, the abandoned theatre’s acoustics amusingly echoed the loud noises of displeasure.

After that little stunt only three others remained: Pakunoda, who’s facade hadn’t cracked all game, Nobunaga, who was glaring daggers at Hisoka, and the aforementioned magician holding up his cards in front of him like a child playing for the first time.

All three of you matched his bet, but none were happy about it. As Machi flipped over the fourth card you found yourself holding your breath. Not because you particularly cared about the money at stake, but because you felt closer to a victory than you had in months. The caricature of a medieval jester being illuminated under the light made you dig your nails into the palm of your hand.

Joker. That meant you had four queens.

It never felt harder to fight a smile off your face than in that moment. Without betraying your excitement, you called, and to your surprise so did Hisoka. Was he bluffing? Or did he have something else in mind? Nobunaga took a deep breath, knocking back the rest of his drink before calling alongside Pakunoda.

All eyes were on the card beneath Machi’s fingertips, the seconds it took to turn the paper on its head filled the theatre with a suspense liable to bring its fragile walls to the ground.

An eight of hearts. Oh well, no big deal.

Nobunaga muttered a curse under his breath, revealing a simple jack and ten of the same suit. Pakunoda was unreadable when she showed the pair of kings she held in her hands. She must’ve thought that the three of a kind would’ve won her the game. The smile on your face felt sweeter after holding it in the whole round, and Nobunaga rolled his eyes when he saw your hand, pushing the pot towards you.

“Well, look at that~” Your victory was interrupted by Hisoka’s insufferable tone, the cards he held up making your jaw drop.

A nine and a jack of hearts. A straight flush.

“That’s bullshit!” You cried, enraged over the loss. It wasn’t even that you cared so much about losing, It only mattered because you lost to him. In an instant you had summoned your nen into the palms of your hands, ready to lunge at the clown when Pakunoda grasped your shoulders, holding you back. Sometimes you forgot how much brute strength was hidden under that pantsuit.

“Just flip a coin, don’t give him what he wants.” Your first reaction was to ignore her, squirming against her iron grip to try and get to Hisoka, who was dramatically scooping all your winnings into his arms.

Uvogin tossed yet another empty beer can over his head, “C’mon Paku, I say let ‘em fight,”

“I concur~” The magician chirped, dramatically stacking each and every coin he’d won while boring his yellow eyes right into yours. His tongue parted his lips, a manic excitement hiding behind the coy expression.

Although every muscle in your body screamed at you to rip into him, you knew you wouldn’t win. He knew your abilities and you couldn’t say for certain you knew all of his.

“Never-mind,” You spat the words out at him like they tasted sour, “You’d probably get off on it anyways.”

A few laughs from the peanut gallery followed your words and Hisoka shrugged, the intense bloodlust from a few seconds ago vanishing as if he’d changed his mind about fighting you on a whim. “You may be right, darling,” your face scrunched up at the nickname you knew he only used to get on your nerves, which it did. “but what if we played a different game?”

Despite how badly you just wanted to ignore him and laugh the night away with all but one of your comrades, you couldn’t turn down the idea of a rematch. Your pride wasn’t nothing to you. “What kind of game?” You asked hesitantly.

He hummed, standing up from the towers of coin he’d made, sauntering over to the cooler of drinks Franklin had provided. After digging around the cold box he pulled out a bottle of fruity tequila and two empty shot glasses.

Your eyes narrowed at the “innocent” smile on his face, looking over to Pakunoda for reassurance.

“You’ll kill him if he spikes my drink, right?” You asked your mentor, who nodded resolutely.

Paku was staring at Hisoka like she was already thinking of ten different ways how to kill him. After sizing him up she flashed you a reassuring nod, “Without question.”

Resolute in your decision, you marched forward, snatching one of the shot glasses from his hand. The stage lights shone above him, making his eyes gleam like the plastic gloss of a doll.

“Shall we begin, then?”

You raised an eyebrow, “What are the rules first?”

He waved his hand in the air, brushing it off, “Nothing too complex, I assure you. The first one who taps out will lose. The loser will do something for the winner. That’s all.”

You still weren’t convinced it could be that simple. “What’s the catch?”

That smirk from before returned to his painted face and he suddenly leaned forward, feeling far too close for comfort. Still, you didn’t step away, your face expressionless as he whispered into your ear. If you did you felt like he’d somehow win whatever stand-still the two of you had on.

“If I lose, I’ll leave the Phantom Troupe,” You reeled away, stunned at his declaration.

Being accepted into the Troupe was the best moment of your life, it always would be. When you looked into the mirror at the tattoo that curled under your ribcage you felt such a warm swell of pride. You couldn’t imagine throwing it all away over some drinking game.

“And...” You blinked rapidly, trying to collect yourself, “If I lose?”

The laugh that echoed from his chest was far from reassuring.

The evening slowly ran into the early morning, each of the other Troupe members wandering off eventually in varying stages of drunkenness. Even Pakunoda headed off to bed after confirming that Hisoka hadn’t spiked your drinks with anything other than a strawberry vodka base. It was unnerving at first, to be completely alone with Omokage’s replacement. Luckily his tastes ran strong, and your vision was spinning before your knew it.

“Match.” Another shot went down your throats, the taste disgustingly sweet, and you watched as his Adam’s apple tensed from the burn.

You’d long since stopped counting how many drinks you’d had, losing track once you got to the double digits. You were both using nen to reinforce yourselves, obviously, but it wasn’t infallible.

‘How is he so good at this?’ You wondered, because as the bottle ran low you started to question just what had made you so confident as to enter a bet with Hisoka in the first place.

“My dear, why not rest for a minute? At least try to enjoy each others company?” His legs were crossed, resting his hand on his palm as he not-so-subtly checked you out. It wasn’t uncommon, and certainly not unexpected from someone like him, but what you hated wasn’t just the nerve of him, but how it made you feel. His scrutiny sent chills down your spine, the unnerving edge to his tone only making you shift your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure.

“You’re the worst, Hisoka,” you knocked back two consecutive shots, unable to hide the wince it caused on your face. Good, you wanted it to sting. Anything to take your mind off the magician in front of you.

He pouted as he poured another row of drinks, “Aw, now why’s that?”

You answered his question with another, pointing towards the half-empty bottle of liquor, “Whats in this, really?”

The magician rolled his eyes, “I did pick an unopened bottle for a reason, dear, I do so want you to trust me.”

Without much fanfare he threw back four shots, over your stunned reaction.

“Just give up already, Darling~ I promise to make it worth your while,” You were reaching your limit for sure, but you were far to stubborn to give up without a fight.

“Fuck you,” you took the first of your next four shots slowly, not managing his fast pace.

He grinned a cheshire smile, “Oh, say that again, will you?”

If he were to call you out on the blush slowly spreading across your nose you’d just blame the alcohol, but the truth was that his words just egged you on even more to the point where you were almost—barely even considering...

“What do you mean, make it worth my while?”

He leaned forward like a cat, agile and silent, whispering his words against your temple, “I’ll tell you how I won that hand,” He got you, hook, line, and sinker.

“You’ll tell me how you cheated?”

Hisoka nodded, a clawed hand coming to stroke a stray piece of hair behind your ear, the action far too intimate for someone like him.

There was no way you’d win against him in this match, that much was clear from the very sober way Hisoka held himself against you, inhumanly still, so what did you have to lose?

‘Your dignity,’ A part of you answered back, but it wasn’t all that convincing. You’d left your dignity behind four shots ago.

“If I lose...”

“If you lose,” He mouthed the words into your cheek, his eyes closed in thought, “You do know what I’ve decided my prize shall be, right?” Of course you knew what he wanted. You weren’t stupid, and the way he nuzzled himself into your neck was far from subtle.

Were you actually so desperate to learn how you lost that you’d sleep with him?

No, you weren’t. But the ache between your legs was getting harder to ignore, and the idea that you could write off what you were about to do behind the excuse of gathering intel sounded like a win-win.

You dug your hands into his hair, not trying to be anything but rough, basking in the moan that spilled from his lips, breath hot against your neck before you yanked him back to meet your gaze.

“Fine. You win, Hisoka,” He smirked, and although he was on his knees he still towered over you, “so how did you cheat?”

Before you could blink his hand had wrapped around your throat, the magician slamming your head into the wood of the stage. You’d had plenty of time to block the damage with your hatsu but the action left your brain rattling inside your skull.

“I’ll tell you later,” He promised, the disorienting blur was slow to fade from the alcohol, and distantly you could feel his other hand stroke your face, his nails like filed daggers trailing over your cheekbones.

“What to do with my prize, then, hm?” He mused, tilting your head from left to right as if examining a block of wood he was about to carve. You coughed on impulse when he let go of your neck, guiding it up instead and taking both your small hands into his palm with an iron grip.

With a flick of his wrist he drew a card, the eight of hearts, seemingly out of nowhere, his nen sharpening it into a thin blade, “Don’t move,”

“Wait... Hisoka, don’t—!” You were far too late to stop him, the frigid air of the ghostly theatre rushing to meet the bare skin of your chest.

Your shirt fell to ribbons along with your bra and you thrashed desperately in his grasp, angry over the loss of your favorite top. He paid your escape attempt no mind, enraptured with the way your tits rose and fell with the timing of your breath and the way you tried to wriggle yourself free.

Still holding your hands to the floor above you, his head bent to wrap a skilled tongue around your tits, a soft sigh involuntarily falling away from you.

“I fuckin’ ha-ate you, Hisoka—ah,” His teeth bit down on your peak at the comment, peering up at you from under his fiery hair.

“Oh? Then why is it you’re moaning like a little whore?” He shifted his weight above you and you saw an opportunity.

You kicked with all your strength between his legs, pulling your knee back and shoving him off with a dig of your shoe into his stomach, “I’m not, don’t call me that shit!”

He actually loosened his grip on you clearly not intending for you to get free from his grasp, a choked sound of what you thought was pain devolving to something much more heated as he stared into you.

“You... are well worth the wait, my dear,” His bloodlust seeped out from every pore, grounding you to the spot. You could usually hold your own against someone like him but it wasn’t hard to see the disadvantage you were at.

Within a fraction of a second he was on you, twisting your waist in his clawed grasp until your ass was hiked into the air, a sharpened playing card slicing through the denim until he could rip it from your legs, yelp echoing like music in the long-silent theatre.

“I knew you’d have some fight left in you,” He crawled forward and you started to realize why he wore exclusively baggy pants, his length hot against you through the fabric as his hips caged you in. As he began to remove that street-performer getup he always wore he’d occasionally curl his hand around your waist to mercifully tug on your ignored clit, your groans muffled and cursed, “I love it. That resilience? It just turns me on.”

You could feel your confidence fade as he tugged those sweatpants down, the weight of him grinding into your ass made all your bravado vanish.

“It will make it so much more satisfying...” He pointed his finger upwards, and suddenly your hands became magnetized to each other, no amount of struggle even budging the rubbery nen substance. “...when I break you.”

Without warning he slid himself inside you, hands holding your hips still as he forced your back into an arch. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, the flailing of your bound arms useless as he shallowly began pumping his cock deeper inside you.

Your muffled curses whispered into the floor made him laugh, pulling his hand back and cruelly slapping the vulnerable flesh of your ass without a warning.

“Wh.. Why?”

“Because, darling, I want to hear you beg for me.” He pouted, teasing your clenched walls with only the tip of his slick head.

Despite the desire coursing through your veins you still had your pride in tact, “Never gonna happen, asshole.”

Gripping your hips, he dug himself into your dripping cunt as far as he could, both of you unrestrained with a moan at the feeling of his cock brushing near your cervix, your hips traitorously snapping back to meet his eager thrusts, movement near impossible as Hisoka forced you into the ground.

You cried out softly with each quick pull and stretch, only able to say his name one syllable at a time,

“Hi-so—kah...” It was hard to turn your head to the side from his brutal pace but somehow you manage, craning yourself in order to see him; His head was thrown back with a sheer bliss softening his glistening skin, his eyes closed and lips parted. The sight made your keening grow louder, the simple image of him losing himself in your twitching pussy sending a wave of slick dripping around his length.

He must’ve felt your gaze on him because soon enough his was staring at you, his pupils blown wide with desire in a way that made them look like a sun eclipsed, black outlined with a ring of fiery gold.

All at once his hips froze, digging his cock so far as to leave an indent in your pelvis. For a confused second you thought he’d finished, but his gaze was cruel and focused, his lips in a smirk, and you felt no more full than you had a moment ago. He was doing this on purpose.

“Wait, no-nono, wh..y?” You hiccuped, taking his break as a moment to wipe unshed tears from your glossy eyes.

He sighed, “I don’t like repeating myself, darling,” He accentuated the infuriating nickname with a slap to your thigh, face unchanged as he trailed his sharpened fingertips along the reddening skin.

“His..oh.. fuck, Hisoka—“ The banished tears returned, falling silently down your pink face as you whispered, “please,”

“Hmm? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you, my dear, mind saying that again?

Your voice hiccuped as you spoke, “Please, alright? Please,” You thought it’d be enough, that he might finally go back to toying with your clit while he fucked you into the old floorboards, but you’d underestimated the magician’s self-control.

Innocently, he tilted his head, “Please what, dear? Please hit you again?” Hisoka didn’t blink as he slowly brought up his palm, giving you plenty of time to try and wiggle free from your punishment just to show off how futile escape really was, lashing his hand down on the same patch of skin as before, grinning at the shriek he yanked from your lungs.

“No! No, fu-uck.. just—“ You whimpered, brain seemingly disconnected from your mouth as you struggled to form the words, “just fuck me, Hisoka, please.”

“Look at you, huh? You were a slut after all,” He purred, letting the weight of your words hang lifeless in the air along with your stubborn pride. Before you could argue again his hand had returned to your clit, pace unforgiving as he pulled your nerves ever closer to snapping only to halt the second he grew bored, “Say it,”

Mindlessly, you nodded your head, “I’m yours, I’m your slut, Hisoka,” you intentionally clenched yourself around him, mumbling lucid pleas for more as his hard cock twitched, pre cum dripping from your heat onto the floor as your conscience trying to deny what your body so willingly accepted, “want you to fuck me, Hisoka, fu-ck,” you whined, the still presence inside your sensitive walls drove you insane.

With each word a truly unhinged aura began to surround him, and by extension, you, the intoxicating menace dripping over you like a drug as you faced forward once again, wiggling your ass as best you could in his grip.

That was his breaking point, ripping you away from his cock only to drive himself back in, digging the full blade of his nails into your hips, blood pooling around the crescent cuts.

“Fuck, ah.. Darling, ‘doing so good, so good’fr me-ah,” He slurred his words together, more drunk on you than the vodka as he leaned back, forcing you to meet him as his thrusts became so quick that it was getting hard to breathe, your ribcage creaking with discomfort as you were nailed into the stage.

“M..o-re, more...” You begged, and he was happy to oblige. the smearing crimson of blood running hot down your thighs, the pain only making you more pliant in his sculptor’s hands as he folded your body however he liked, ignoring your pained weep from the stretch as he slung one of your bleeding legs over his shoulder.

It was almost weird to hear him say your actual name, so often he used a pet name to mock or flirt with you, sometimes both, “So good for me like this, taking me so goo-uh,” He choked on his words as your cunt tightened around him, your hands clinging for balance in his hair, and Hisoka clearly didn’t mind if the slew of moans from his lips was any indication.

The angle his hips cut into had the edges of your vision turning into a vignette, “I’m close, so close, gonna cum inside you, yeah? Right here,” The hand that had been toying with your clit changed angles, his fingertips spinning spirals onto your aching bud while the flat of his hand pushed against your stomach, your shout swallowed by his pretty lips, tongue toying with yours.

“Ye-es cum inn-side me,” You were too far gone to care, anything he said sounded good as long as he said it in that sultry purr, arms numb as they lay suspended above your head.

“Take it, take it, Darling,” With what little strength you had left you curved your calf beside his neck, pulling him in until his cock brushed your cervix, the pain indistinguishable from the pleasure, “Uhn, cumm-fuck, i’m cumming—“

His cum was thick, the curve of his cock jutting inside you as he filled you up, mercifully swallowing your hallowed scream as he kissed you deeply, almost all feeling in your raised leg lost until he lowered it to his waist, involuntarily snapping his hips up although they had nowhere left to go until your moan turned into a broken sob of lingering bliss.

“Shh, dear, I’ve got you,” With a whirl of his wrist your arms were free of his bungee gum, shakily pulling them to your sides again as he pressed open-mouthed kisses along your neck, whispering a slurred mess of sweet words, stopping to suck a particularly deep hickey into the vein of your flesh.

“Hisoka, quit it!” Your fight had returned along with feeling to your fingertips as you wrenched him back by the hair, his cock jumping.a bit inside you at the grip, “I’ll have to wear sweaters for weeks now, you jerk.”

The capillaries had already begun to burst as he laughed, reaching up behind your head to pull his discarded top forward, digging out what looked like a piece of smooth cleaning cloth from its pocket and lying it over your neck with a simple point of his finger, gyo revealing the pink gum of his aura that controlled it before he smoothed the fabric over your skin, the texture so light you could barely feel it.

“A deal’s a deal, love, I’ll tell you how I cheated,” He smiled as satisfied and smug as he could ever be, a tingling sensation overtaking the patch of covered skin.

As he pulled your hand away you ran your fingers over the cloth, not finding a seam among the normal tone of your chest. Eyes wide as you looked at him for answers he was already happy to provide, “It’s called texture surprise. I can apply it to any flat surface and change its appearance. It’s quite handy,”

“It works on skin, paper, even playing cards,” You felt like an idiot. During the match you kept analyzing him for a sleight of hand trick all while he was using a second nen technique to win. It was so simple but genius, and you felt a little bit better knowing you weren’t outwitted by something obvious.

“You’re the worst, Hisoka,”

He chuckled, kissing along the new unblemished canvas of your neck, “I know~”

[uhhhhyandere]

my internet cut off when i was sending an ask so i don't know if it actually went through,, could you write something for reader and a possessive/protective mello? my birthday is coming up in 4 days - i don't have anyone to celebrate it with, and he happens to be my comfort character 😅 feel free to delete this if you don't want to that's totally ok!!

such lies, such lies!

you can celebrate your birthday with me and the rest of us in death note stan hell. i hope you can find some ways to celebrate getting through another year, and that this lil piece brings you the joy you deserve <3 ily

“Can we... uh... go out, then?” You scratched the back of your head. Mello’s eyes dragged across the room until they met yours. You twiddled your fingers together. 

“Why?” He rested his chin between his digits. You glanced around, making sure to scan the calendar to double-check a clearly true fact. 

“It’s my birthday, so I thought maybe we can do something.” Mello twisted in his seat and crossed his leg over the other. Elbow angles against the corner of the table, the hand of the same arm rested above his mouth. “Please? It can be something small. Dinner, or something.” He sighed. 

“Alright,” he agreed. “Take your pick, then.” Your smile grew and he rolled his eyes at the joy sparking on your features. “Don’t get too excited. It’s not that big of a deal, but,” he stressed, “don’t get any funny ideas, got it?” 

You were giddy while you finished fixing yourself up in the mirror. It’s been months since you’ve properly gone out anywhere, much less a date. The excitement of checking yourself out in the mirror (a few moments of self-deprecation, but compared to the last few months of work and stress, it was refreshing to look like a human again.) and the pile of failed outfits on top of your bed was so relieving. 

“Are you done?” 

“Are you done?” Mello always looked good, and there wasn’t any mystical reason as to why, so when he walked into the room in lieu of an invitation, you weren’t surprised to find him in all black, tight-fitting clothes. His eyes flickered from your face to your feet, then back to your head. “Looks like you are.” 

“We’re going to be late if you spend two more seconds in front of that mirror. What do you think is going to change? Whatever detail you fix will inevitably fall back down before we get there.” You shot him a glare. “You’re the one that asked to go out, and now you’re lagging behind.”

“Sorry, I haven’t gone out in a while! I wanted to look nice. For...” you cleared your throat, “you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” You clicked your tongue. 

“Get a better glove next time then.” You twisted towards him. “Okay, done!” Spreading your arms wide, you presented yourself. “How do I look?”

“Presentable. Let’s go, then. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back. The sooner so many people’s eyes will be off you.” He scowled. “Anyone looks at you for more than five seconds, I’m going to eradicate them.” You hummed and slipped on your shoes, using Mello’s shoulder for balance. Before you can take it off, however, his hand clasped your wrist tightly. He brought it towards his mouth and, without breaking intense eye contact, slotted a kiss between your knuckles. “I hope the place you chose is adequate.”

Adequate. Well, that’s not the exact words you would use for your favorite local restaurant, but that’s the reason why you loved it. After stressful days, you used to always find yourself here. The bar, for some reason, no matter the day, would be stock full of patrons. Most were regulars or friends of the owner until you eventually became friends with the owner too.

“Y/N! Wow, we haven’t seen you in a while! Who’s this?” Mello scowled next to you. Most likely because of the weekend crowd and the heavy smoke permeating the air. This definitely was not the type of place he frequented. 

“This is Mello. We’ve been together a few months now.” The regular smiled and regarded him. Mello’s grimace must have kept him from saying anything else since his focus quickly focused back on you. 

“Ah, I see. Get a boyfriend and you abandon us!” You laughed politely and scanned the floor for an open booth. One nestled in the corner, though still dirty from the previous occupants, was open. You smiled and offered him a few more concise words before leading Mello to the corner. 

“It’s disgusting in here.” 

“Food is nice and greasy. You can just get dessert if you want, though. It doesn’t matter to me. What does though is,” you nodded over to the nearby crowd huddled around a single table, “is that. I haven’t gambled in so long. I wonder if I still got it in me.” You dug your hand into your jacket pocket and pulled out the wrinkled, thinning plastic bag full of poker chips. “Doubt it, though.”

“You play poker?” You set the bag on the table. 

“Yeah. Got into it a few years ago. I’m terrible, though. Luckily, they don’t play for high stakes. Just shots or drinks or buying a round for the group.” He snatched the bag and rolled it around in his hands. “Not that many, I know, but I think I can maybe end the night even. Hopefully.” 

After your old-time favorite comfort meal and Mello’s dessert, you rose from the table with Mello following like a shadow. A few of the spectators you recognized greeted you before growing silent after making eye contact with Mello. A few eyes trained on him. Naturally. You didn’t even need to look back to know he was glaring at them. You grinned while approaching the table. “Deal me in the next round?”

“Y/N,” oh my - How did you not notice him? A devilish smirk on his face, he waved. “I didn’t expect you to be here. You haven’t been here in a long while. I missed you, babe.” You glanced to Mello. His eyebrow shot up and he stared at him. “Still mediocre?” 

“As if... yes...” You scratched the back of your head. “But it’s fun, so,” you shrugged. 

“Of course. I’m sure our pal can deal you in real soon. Just wait your little butt there.” ...Little? Mello hummed next to you but said nothing to acknowledge the aggravation on his face. Once a seat opened up, you sat yourself down. Mello’s hand rested on the back of it. Occasionally, the movement of his fingers would graze across your shoulder. “No cheating from the goth behind you, got it?”

“As if.” 

You tried to ignore the sultry gaze and sugary words from his mouth through the rounds. Not for your sake, but for the sake of the person lurking behind you. Mello didn’t deal with competition so well. You sighed. Maybe I shouldn’t have indulged too much.

Turns out you needed help from the goth behind you. They really managed to swingle you every time. By the number of chips remaining, you would only last two more rounds, and you didn’t want to go back empty-handed. “One more. Then I’m done. I can’t go home without anything. I’m nearly out of cash at this point. My pride would hurt too much.” 

“Alright, alright,” your old acquaintance said. “We just won’t use money or rounds or anything. Winner gets,” he hummed, “your underwear.” Normally, you’d say yes. Who really gave a shit? But that normally was before you and Mello became a thing. You shook your head. 

“Sure,” Mello answered. You paused, turning to him in bewilderment. His face was entirely serious. “One more round.” Did...did he know you’re probably going to fucking lose? Was he that pissed at you that he didn’t care? “It’s no problem, right?” He looked down at you. His eyes widened just a hair for just a second. What was he thinking?

As he flipped his hand at the very end, your stomach dropped. Mello’s face remained the same, however. Even as you stood to... follow through with the demands. Though, as soon as you stepped away from the chair, Mello slid into it, hands folded on the table. 

“One more,” he said. "Stakes are they keep their things, and you don’t look at them ever again. Not even a glance.” He paused. “That goes for every fucker in this shithole,” Mello called. You didn’t get a word in before he urged them to deal. 

He was... he was probably joking, right? 

You replaced Mello’s standing space behind the chair. On it, he leaned back cooly, legs spread with one bend up on the chair’s cushion, the other spread outwards on the ground. The cards in his hand close to himself, you were not able to get a good look at them with the downwards angle. 

“...Royal flush,” he said in the end, the cards sliding into a half circle into the table. Silence. “Did you all not remember the stakes here? Anyone even looks at them, I’ll carve your eyes from your head.” Mello rose, hand clasping yours, and dragged you out of the establishment. You were sure everyone would be glaring in your direction if they were able to look at you. You guessed it didn’t matter if you didn’t pay. It wasn’t like you were going back here ever again.

Once into the brisk air, you ripped your wrist from his hand. 

“What the fuck was that?” You hissed. 

“What the fuck was that? What about you bringing me here to watch all those greasy men leer at you like some piece of candy? What about you letting that fuck do and say anything he wanted? What the fuck was that?” His fingers gripped your chin. “Who do you belong to?” 

“W-what?” 

“Did I stutter?” At your lack of answer, he tightened his grip. “Who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“Yes, me.” Mello ripped his hand from your chin and dug it into his pocket. “I’ll make sure you know. I’ll make sure everyone knows you’re mine.” He pulled a switchblade from his pocket. 

“Mello, no -,” 

“Stay here.”

“Please,” 

“No. We’ll finish... celebrating your birthday at home, alright?” 

[ryosei-hime]

High Stakes

Husk plays a high stakes game of poker to cheer up Angel. Continuation from Personal Space. Didn’t intend it to be a chapter fic but here we are. Can also be found over on AO3.

Husk looked up from wiping down the bar as the doors swung open. He recognized the footsteps immediately. The stride belied their owner’s confident and purposeful movements. Angel’s eyes glowed lightly as he emerged from the dark entranceway and made for the bar. He had that slow, sad way of moving that Husk recognized. 

“Long night?” Husk offered. 

“Ugh, I don’t even wanna talk about it.”

He avoided eye contact as he planted himself on a stool, his first set of hands lighting up a cigarette as the others worked his tie loose. Husk grunted his acknowledgement as he pulled out Angel’s favorite booze. But Angel put a hand out to stop him from opening it. 

“Not tonight,” he sighed, smoke seeping from between sharp teeth. 

Husk put it away, his concern betrayed only for a moment in the way his ears pricked up, his eyes becoming only the slightest bit more alert. Angel’s eyes turned from him again, his fingers scratching across the grain of the bar as he sat back before balling into a fist at his knee.

Sometimes being a bartender meant leaving the patron alone. But Angel wasn’t just some random asshole. He knew what kind of bullshit usually preceded this mood. And he knew where Angel’s thoughts would lead him. He wasn’t about to let them fester. 

Husk drew Angel’s attention as a card hit the elbow he had propped on the bar. The rest of the hand followed, each card arriving in silence. He sighed and gathered them up. Husk was a sweetheart when he wanted to be. He managed a sad little smile at his efforts. 

“What’re the stakes tonight?”  

“Me.” 

Angel’s cigarette fell from his fingers and hit the bar. Another hand grabbed it up and snubbed it out before it could do any damage.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Husk snapped. “You want me so damn bad, you gotta win me.” 

“Wait. Like. I get to sleep with ya?” 

Angel gave him the cutest goddamn grin in his arsenal, eyes big and shining with hope. Well, Husk had gotten what he wanted. Now he had a whole game of poker to decide if he’d give Angel what he wanted.  

“It’s what you want, isn’t it? Fuck, if I know why.” 

Angel practically squeaked as he held his cards up to his face. But then they fell again along with his enthusiasm. 

“Wait, yer not just fuckin’ with me are ya?”

“Not unless you win.” 

Husk gave Angel a smug, satisfied look.

“Proud of that one, are ya?” Angel shot back with a smirk. “What if you win?” 

Husk hadn’t thought about that. Wasn’t like this was a well conceived plan or anything. What he wanted most was for Angel to stop working for that bastard Val. But he wasn’t fucking stupid. Situations like that weren’t simple. Demanding Angel just up and quit could be dangerous. 

“Didn’t think of one cause you knew I’d beat ya?” Angel urged. 

“Nothin’ I can ask you to do, anyway.” 

Angel’s grin faded as their eyes met. He knew what Husk wanted. He wanted it too. But it wasn’t possible. He couldn’t do it.

“He’d kill me.” 

Husk looked away first. Dammit he hadn’t meant to bring this subject back up.

“Yeah, I know, kid.” What else could he say? “How about you just owe me one instead.”

Angel laughed. 

“Yer gonna pull the unnamed favor on a mobster?” 

“Hey, my ass is on the line here! Take it or leave it!”

 “Oh, I’ll take it,” Angel assured him. 

The game went on into the night. As usual they were both cheating and they both knew it. Angel might have picked up some of his tricks, but he didn’t execute them nearly as well. The outcome remained his to decide. If only he could make up his damn mind. 

Angel gave a little cry of triumph as he won a hand, feet kicking against the bar in his excitement. Husk growled and shuffled the deck, making sure the next hand would be in his favor. 

“What’d ya want my old ass for so bad anyway?” he demanded as he dealt the next hand. 

Angel had an innocent look as he answered. 

“You’re cute.” 

Husk made a sound of disgust. 

“Right. I’m a freak.” 

“A cute freak.” 

Angel still had that innocent, almost simple smile. Husk studied his cards, trying to ignore the tightness in his throat. He hated it when Angel talked about him like that. Nothin cute about being a fuckin monster.

“Besides, you’re safe.” 

That caught him off guard. 

“What?”

“You care about me.” Angel bit his lip and avoided looking at him as he took a couple of cards. “You wouldn’t hurt me. Sometimes I have these dreams…”

Angel shook his head. 

“Now I’m makin’ it weird.” 

“Weirder than betting your own fuckin body in a poker game?” 

Husk took a few cards himself, silently cursing that Angel’d thrown him off and he’d missed the ones he’d intended to get. Angel smiled dreamily at him, but Husk kept his eyes on his cards. Not that he could really see them at this point. Felt like a fuckin panic attack coming on.

“Sometimes I dream you soar down from the sky and rip Val up like some kinda maniac.” 

“Hell, kid, I’ve had that one.” 

“And then you and me, we just stay here at this hotel. You, me, and Nuggs. A fucked up dysfunctional little demon family. Ain’t that a riot?” 

Husk called it and spread out his hand, all the air sucked out of his chest. The way Angel talked about him made him feel sick inside. He couldn’t be all the things Angel wanted him to be. He couldn’t be his fuckin knight in shining armor. He couldn’t even manage his own god damn emotions when it came to the guy.

“I won,” Angel gasped before exclaiming in glee. “Oh my god! I won!” 

Their hands finally came into focus as Angel’s celebration brought him out of his own failings. Well, at least there was something he could do for him.

“Lucky hand,” he excused. “But a win’s a win.”

Angel’s face could barely contain his grin as he hopped off the stool, practically bouncing.  

“Oh, Husk. You don’t gotta.”

What, and break the kid’s heart?

“A bet’s a bet.” 

Angel was around the bar before he knew it, taking his hands in a pair of his own. The other two cupped his face and turned it up. He still glowed with excitement, but a softness shone in his eyes.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt ya, Husky.” 

He wasn’t. Not really. He still hated this fuckin body. He hated any attention being brought to it, much less ...this. But if he could trust anyone with this train wreck, it was Angel. A paw rose to grasp Angel’s wrist, pulling one of his hands away enough for Husk to turn his face into the palm and sigh. 

“You won’t hurt me.” 

Angel could die right there. How could he be so damn cute?

“All right,” Husk cleared his throat and pulled back. “Everything’s your call, kid.”

One of his hands still held Husk’s and he swung it softly. 

“Tomorrow? Can we have a date?”

“That wasn’t part of the deal,” Husk started to object. But damn that face of his. “But you’re in charge. No clubs.”

Angel nodded. 

“Can I have a goodnight kiss?”

“Yeah, all right.”

Husk felt himself detaching from his body even as he agreed. Angel did his best to bring him back. The bottom set of hands pawed at his arms as the main hands took his face again. This forced him to look into his eyes. 

From the look there, Husk expected some kind of prolonged, erotically charged kiss and braced himself. But Angel just pressed his lips softly against Husk’s and released him, a warm, satisfied smile aimed down at him.

“Goodnight.” 

“Yeah.” 

It was all Husk could manage, but it didn’t seem to bother Angel. A hand slid down his arm as he moved away and kept a hold on his hand as long as he could before the distance between them returned it to Husk’s side. 

Once Angel had disappeared, Husk turned to the bottle as was his natural instinct. What the fuck was he thinking?

[forlornmelody]

Sins of the Father

Rating: T (just a lot of angst, really.)

Fandom(s): Mass Effect

Ship: Femshep/Joker

Linkage: Ao3

Summary:  Cass Shepard isn't sure what hurts worse--knowing she's now a war criminal, or the man who made her the scapegoat.

Note:  This is the same Shepard who appears in Movie Night, and is mentioned in Masha, though you don't need to read those fics to understand what's happening in this one. You should DEFINITELY play the Arrival DLC though, cause major spoilers.

~*~*~*

Dr. Chawkwas has long gone to sleep when Cassandra Shepard collapses in her chair. She presses her forehead against the cold steel of her desk, waiting. Waiting to feel something, anything about what she has done. Maybe Cerberus made a mistake bringing her back. Or maybe Cerberus didn’t bring Cass Shepard back from the dead. Maybe they brought back a monster. 

Three Hundred Thousand. Gone. Cass remembers her first kill. A Batarian, then too. She doesn't know much about alien physiology, but there was something about the way that soldier looked at her, wide-eyed and shaken, told her that he was younger than her, still a kid, at least emotionally. And she shot him between all four eyes. 

The door whisks open, but Cass doesn't move. “Sorry, Doctor. I’ll just be a min--”

“Commander.” That voice jerks her awake. Hackett’s sudden arrival almost jerks her out of her chair and into attention. But then Cassandra Maria Shepard remembers what she found in the Shadow Broker’s files. 

“Admiral,” she drawls. “Or should I say, Dad?”

Whatever Hackett had planned to say died right there on his lips. “Excuse me?”

“When exactly were you planning on telling me?” Cass really should lower her voice, salute--something, but she figures in light of her recent sins, insubordination will be low on the list. “Before or after they line me up for the firing squad?”

Steven Hackett does something Cass long judged physically impossible--he removes his hat. His officer persona--his poker face comes off with it. For once, her father looks tired, exhausted even. “They’re not going to execute you, Cassandra.”

“Then why the fuck are you here? This is a shitty time for a family reunion.”

Hackett grimaces, and he flops into Dr. Chawkwa’s chair like it’s a recliner. It’s then Cass realizes she’s never seen him sitting down. “Hannah and I agreed it was best not to tell you.”

“Best for who?” The crew out in the mess turn their heads. Cass has never really bothered to check how soundproof the SR2 is. Right now, she doesn’t care who hears. “Cause it fucking sucked growing up without a dad.” Cass paces like a wild animal caught in a cage. “Fuck, I hardly had a mom either. Raised by my tías planetside whenever she was deployed.”

Exhausted as he is, there’s still a bit of the admiral in his steel eyes. “The Alliance needed us. A scandal only would have--”

Cass snorts. “Of course. Sacrifice my childhood, who cares? The motherfucking Milky Way is at stake. Gotta raise me for my life as a sacrificial lamb, right, Dad?”

Hackett rubs his face, sighing. “Cassandra. I’m doing what I can for you. Please just cooperate with the authorities and we’ll sort this out.”

“Did you know about the relay?”

“Goodbye, Cassandra.” Hackett pauses by the door, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. One foot points at her and the other towards the exit. Almost as if he’s considering offering a hug. 

Cassandra doesn’t even turn to look--just watching him through her peripheral. The door hisses shut behind him. It’s only when the tears drop on her hands that Cass realizes she’s crying. 

----

“Commander?” Joker’s voice sounds like it’s coming through water. “Shepard?” Cass looks at the display case without seeing it. Without seeing anything, really. “Cass? Shit. I’m coming up. EDI, take the helm.” 

The com screeches off and Cass jumps a little in her seat. How long had she been sitting there? How did she even get up here? Last thing she remembers, Cass was sitting in the med bay. She checks the time on her omni-tool. Hackett’s visit was two hours ago. How did she lose so much time?

“Cass?” Joker leans against the foyer wall between the elevator and the cabin proper.

She stands and feels pins and needles in her feet. Joker guides her to the bed and holds her like she’s the fragile one. Wrapping her arms around him, Cass feels like she’s dreaming. Like none of this is really happening. Her lips form words but nothing comes out. Maybe she is dreaming. Maybe this is all one long nightmare. 

“Talk to me, Cass. Please.”

Cass would give anything to feel, to be present in this moment. She squeezes Joker as tight as she dares. Anything to ground herself, to be herself. To be there for the man she...oh god. “Stay?” she manages, quietly. 

“Sure.” Joker pulls back eyeing her with his eyebrows scrunched. He’s been through so much lately. Because of her. He watched her get spaced. Watched the crew get abducted by the Collectors. Watched her toss a colossal asteroid at a mass relay and-- Setting his hat on the table, Joker runs his fingertips back against his buzz cut. He helps her get her boots off, and then lies with her across the sheets. “You still with me, Cass?” 

“Dunno.” Is she crying again? Cass doesn't need to look up at the skylight to know the Normandy’s still flying. The universe is still moving and she’s frozen in time. 

“So, uh. This is probably the worst timing, but your mom called.”

“Nng.” Cass burrows her head in the crook between Joker’s neck and shoulder.”

“You...wanna talk about it?”

“Nng.”

“I’m not going to make you do anything, Cass. But it wouldn’t hurt, right?”

Cass mumbles into his shirt. 

“What?”

“Hackett’s my dad.”

Joker’s arms flop off of her like she’s made of melted butter. “What?”

“Liara told me.” She sniffles, wiping her runny nose with the back of her hand. Joker belatedly hands her a tissue from the nightstand. “Shadowbroker stuff, y’know?”

Joker’s brows scrunch just a little bit tighter. “Cass?” he says slowly, “what happened on Aratoht?”

Cass flops against the mattress, watching the stars above, waiting for the panic attack that doesn’t come. Maybe she’s too exhausted to panic? “You saw the meteor hit the relay.”

“Well, yeah. Kinda hard to miss. But why the hell were you there?”

Her limbs shake with her rage. “Daddy sent me. After his ‘old friend.’ I have no fucking clue if she actually was his friend, or just some rogue agent, or if she was his fucking mistress for all I know.”

“Damn. What happened to her?” Joker lies on his side, carefully, as always, and combs the damp hair from her eyes with his fingers. 

“She’s--was indoctrinated. They all were.”

“Fuck.”

Cass swallows hard. “Yeah. Maybe if they weren’t…. maybe I would’ve warned the Batarians in time--”

“Cass.” Joker cups her face. “Look at me.” She does so, reluctantly. “There were 300,000 of them, give or take. How the hell were they gonna evacuate?”

“At least I would have tried!!”

“Cass…”

And then her com rings. Cass growns and stuffs her face into her pillow. 

“Shepard.” EDI says neutrally. “Captain Hannah Shepard is insistent that you answer her call. Her words are “I will dry dock this ship if you don’t answer in 30 seconds.”

Cass drags herself out of bed and over to her desk chair. “Mom,” she snaps when she answers the call.

“Cassandra--”

“You should’ve fucking told me.” Cass hangs up before her mother can answer. 

[allthatglittersisnotgoldrush]

Author Interview: Victoryindeath2 (by TolkienGirl)

Thank you @thelonelybrilliance!

1.     What fanfic trope do you think the AU has a unique spin on and why?

So seven card stud is the best and funniest strip poker/crossdressing fic you will ever find.

Definitely love how we grow the found family trope, particularly in regards to Maedhros and Gwindor, which I shall say more on in the question below. It is our own platonic version of the ships passing in the night trope—Maedhros and Gwindor are never mentioned as having met in canon, let alone spoken of in any way that might hint at their having any basis for friendship. I myself have never read any fics where there was any sort of bond between them. However, all of the authors love canon Gwindor greatly, and he fit so well into our plans and now has became more important and dear than we could ever imagine, so much so that I have to stop and remind myself that Maedhros and Gwindor are not brotp in canon. It’s honestly one of my favorite departures from the original Silm!

2.     What are your three favorite friendships between people who are NOT related to each other?

My most FAVORITE friendship between unrelated characters is unquestionably the friendship between Maedhros and Gwindor. Maedhros gives Gwindor hope, freedom, and another little brother to love and guard, and Gwindor gives his Russandol the older brother he never had, good simple understanding without judgment, a care that doesn’t yield to Maedhros’s judgement of himself and fights against Maedhros’s frequent (understandable) self-pity and self-hatred. They could not have made it out of the thrall camp without each other, nor saved as many people as they did. Even now, Maedhros is one of the few solid good things Gwindor has to steady himself with as he tries to adjust to a world where he is not a slave, Maedhros is the person who turns Gwindor’s words back on him to say, you must think better of yourself! And Gwindor is now, as he was back in the thrall camp, the hand that Maedhros can bear to cling to when he is most hurt, frightened, and sad.

Ah...sometimes I like to dream about Gwindor getting to be an older brother figure to Mae back in Formenos and city days...the things that might have changed for the better...

There are many other good friendships but two in particular stand out: Finrod and Beren and Haleth and Luthien. Beren has lost his whole family and people, has suffered injury and been an outcast, thrown out of Doriath, separated from the young woman he loves, and here comes Finrod, some pretty boy from back East who has lots of noble ideas in his head, probably an awful lot of naivety at their meeting, but also a brave, loyal, laughing heart. So far we haven’t explored their friendship in as much detail as some relationships, but rest assured that....it will feature heavily in the future. I really hope that we can drop in little stories of their early friendship as we go along. For now, the fic Clarity has some of my favorite moments between them! I am very excited for the future with them!

As for Haleth and Luthien—well they are such contrasts aren’t they? Haleth, grim, younger than Luthien but more versed in the cruelty of the world, and Luthien, bright and eager to go out into the world and find Beren, unafraid for now of what it might have in store for her and her loved ones. They are both strong-willed, determined young women though, and I adore every moment between them. Haleth, always bringing what word she can of Beren to Luthien, protecting her secret, teaching her to fight, being slightly taken aback at the thought that yes, Luthien is her friend. And Luthien having nothing but respect for Haleth. The most recent fic between them was honestly the sweetest, cutest thing!

3.     What is a “missing scene” that you wish could be written into the AU during the past year (1852)?

You know what I would want? A little scene between Fingolfin and Finrod, set after Maedhros has been rescued and Fingolfin is very tired and Finrod tries to tell him to go to bed or something and then Fingolfin confesses that he misses his brother Finarfin very much and then probably apologizes because of course Finrod must miss his father greatly and he shouldn’t have brought up the subject but Finrod is like, it’s okay, and then encourages Fingolfin to tell stories about their boyhood together, and it’s all sort of soft and sad and healing for the both of them <3

4.     Which character has made you cry the most as a reader and/or writer?

As a reader? Ahahaha Maedhros wins by a long shot. I cried so many times during his Angband days, but also in fics both in Mithrim and Formenos, when he was younger and had no idea of what was in store for him. Shoutout to any soft scene between him and his brothers, particular him and Maglor. Give me them holding each other or playing with each other’s hair while being sad and I just—weep. I am not so good at regulating my emotions lol

As a writer, well, I don’t usually cry over my own works, but recently I got very emo when re-reading of the armature and the reinforcement (let us move lightly). It’s hard to see young happy recently-married Feanor and Nerdanel, with baby Maitimo on the way, and to know how Feanor will change and their family will fall apart in years to come. Also, I played myself by having the actor Lee Joon Gi in mind as a model for young Feanor’s mannerisms :/

5.     Update us on the state of Caranthir’s kitchen and garden.

If this is a poorly concealed “where the heck is that fic you have been promising us,” well, I stick my tongue out at you.

Jk I’m gonna go work on it after I finish these questions lol. Let’s just say that with everything happening right now, Caranthir has probably been stress cleaning the kitchen, and it would be immaculate if it weren’t for certain people being difficult. As for the garden, if you think its crooked layout does not bother Caranthir at least once per day, you would be wrong. I’m sure that in a month or so he is going to want to dig the whole thing up and get out little stakes and strings and drive everyone crazy by being extremely particular about the makeover.

Bonus: Describe what would happen if Gwindor met Feanor

OH MAN OH MAN. GWINDOR WOULD FULFILL MY FANTASY OF GIVING THAT MAN A FIST TO THE FACE

I mean look I have this strange love for Feanor and he is tragic in many ways and I mourn his loss and the person he could have been and sometimes was, but also—

He was a terrible dad. As we have all seen. As Gwindor has sussed out and had some confirmation of. If the Gwindor of right now could go back in time and meet Feanor sticking needles into Mae, I’m pretty sure he would have murdered him then and there, or at least, beat him into the ground and then been like, hello Nerdanel, ma’am, I am your eldest son’s guardian angel in the flesh and I am moving in with you to be a barrier between him and his dad and if he so much as looks at Mae wrong I will throw him in his own forge fire.

If the Gwindor of right now could meet a resurrected Feanor—things would be bloody and Feanor would be told what for in the strongest of terms probably while being shoved against a wall, an arm against his neck, and then Gwindor would be like cool now that you understand just how terrible of a person you are and how you should probably burn in hellfire, you can go to Maedhros and beg his forgiveness and tell him how is a much better person that you ever were or could be and that it is up to him to ask you to stick around even though I, Gwindor, would prefer you to never see him again, but like, Maedhros probably wouldn’t want that so I will have to deal and you will have to shape up or I will ship you out

GET YOU A FRIEND LIKE GWINDOR

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

Yay!! I love galaxy almost too much so I’m back here giving another headcannon. I could definitely see the reader getting drunk or high and Spencer having to deal with them. I could see a couple possibilities with this, one being the reader getting intoxicated with the team and then them leaving Spencer to deal with it. Though I get a kick out of them getting intoxicated together and just annoying the shit out of the team. If they thought they were annoying before this is a whole nother level.

Literally same. I will never get tired of talking about Galaxy. There’s no such thing as loving it too much. 

Anyways, yes, they don’t get intoxicated often (”we’re fun already” says (y/n)) but when they do...... it’s a whole time.

(y/n) will occasionally get pretty drunk while out with the team, especially if Emily is there because she’s their second favorite drinking partner. Inevitably, Spencer is the one who brings them home even though (y/n) insists they’re fine. Spencer plays into the “they’re your problem now, Reid” that the team gives him when they’re leaving for the night, but this is one of the lower stakes times that Spencer gets to care for them so secretly he doesn’t mind all that much. He really goes all out to make sure they don’t die of alcohol poisoning or asphyxiation or of a hangover or whatever else he can think up. It’s better than caring for them after they’ve gotten shot.

If they get drunk together, it’s because they’re piled on (y/n)’s too small couch watching a bad movie with plenty of wine to go around. Usually they do it when they know they don’t have to work for a few days, but they were called into an urgent case once and had to show up at the office completely wasted. The team isn’t sure how the two of them even made it to the office from (y/n)’s apartment, they’re such a mess. Spencer won’t shut up, (y/n) has lost all of their coordination, and neither of them can stop laughing. 

Hotch wants to leave them at home, but the entire team agrees leaving the two of them in Quantico unsupervised is a terrible idea and it’s a pretty long plane ride, so instead they stick them on the jet and hope they’ll fall asleep so that they can get a little bit of silence. Instead, (y/n) is convinced they can finally beat Spencer in poker, and spends the entire seven hour flight (loudly) trying to win. It’s a disaster and a half.  

GALAXY MASTERLIST

[mostlysignssomeportents]

STREAMLINER

I just finished my second pandemic staycation, a two-week, at-home revel in simple pleasures, like discovering new comics. A visit to Burbank's House of Secrets led to my acquiring the two-volume French graphic novel STREAMLINER, and it was *brilliant*.

https://store.magnetic-press.com/products/streamliner-vol-1-bye-bye-lisa-dora-by-fane

STREAMLINER is the story of a secret outlaw hotrod race set up in different remote places every year, in which the racers compete to push souped-up classic jalopies of the 30s, 40s and 50s to lethal speeds, trading paint for the right to boss the infamous Red Noses gang.

This year, the Red Noses leader has brought his gang to Evel O'Neil's remote desert gas-station, where Evel - a retired legend of Streamliner racing - lives with his granddaughter in the shadow of his old fighter-plane, shot down long ago in no-man's land.

Billy Joe, the leader of the Red Noses, cuts the phone lines and puts the word out that this year's race has found the ideal site: a desert that is in contested international territory, where the fed cops that hunt the racers have no jurisdiction.

Old Evel isn't all there anymore; the booze and the isolation have reduced him to a shadow of his former self. But his granddaughter Cristal is as smart and tough as they come, but she quickly comes to realize that there's no getting away from it - the race will take place.

But misery turns to tragedy when Evel gets into a drunken poker game with Nikky "The Head," Billy Joe's nemesis, and stakes the gas-station, the wrecked fighter plane, and the desert he holds title to on the outcome of the race.

To save her family's home and land, Cristal must race in the Black Widow, Evel's painstakingly rebuilt Streamliner, and compete against a motley crew that includes the meanest all-woman biker gang in the world, the feds' number one most wanted killer, and others.

To make everything more complicated, a powerful senator has cut a deal with a broadcaster to turn the race into a reality TV show in the hopes of domesticating and de-fanging it, and has dispatched a blimp to broadcast the race as it's run.

And on top of *that*, there's the Senator's real target, William "Billy the Kid" Bonney, the number one most wanted murderer on the hit parade, who is to be assassinated under the race's cover by feds masquerading as racers.

All this plays out with so much fucking noir it's practically vantablack, in a way that makes it clear why STREAMLINER and its creator Fane are great heroes of the French comics scene.

American comics are in the midst of a decades-long revival, but honestly, they have a *lot* of catching up to do. The anti-comics witch-hunts of the 1950s, led by the fraudster Frederic "Seduction of the Innocents" Wertham, set the field back by half a century.

In the meantime, the rest of the world raced ahead, developing comics vernaculars that have done things with the forms that have still never been seen in the USA.

That's how pioneering presses like First Second were able to attain liftoff: by cherry-picking these incredible marvels of the non-English comics world and bringing them to the Anglosphere in translation.

And it's what Magnetic Press, the publisher of STREAMLINER, is doing here. The American comics renaissance is just the tip of the iceberg: the rest of the world is doing stuff with comics that'll knock your socks off, and this is a great place to start.

[instantanchordelusion-blog1]

Casino Games

Luck rides on a toss of a dice, a automobile dealt. you cannot trick random probability and also the gods of fortune. Or will you? If you play gambling games at casinos, some methods will improve your probabilities of winning. Over the long haul, in games during which you said it against the house, the house can win, as a result of the house features a intrinsical mathematical edge over the gambler each play. In games you play against alternative players, you've got an improved probability, significantly if you play well casino games ; in these games, strategy counts.

Some general recommendation with regard to playing:

Bring enough cash and divide it into equal elements in line with the quantity of sessions you may participate in. (a sensible rule of thumb is to bring a minimum of twenty times your minimum bet per session. That is, if you play at a $5 table, bring $100). If you begin to lose, take an opening, and ne'er play over 2 hours at a stretch. Bring your own watch - casinos haven't got clocks. If you win, play with the house's cash, saving your original stake. Leave once you square measure still ahead. Don't pay any further than you originally brought. If you lose all stake, quit. always remember that you simply square measure twiddling with real cash. which you're enjoying gamblers for fun. Stick with one game. however if the table isn't to your feeling, move on. Don't take too several long-shot bets ("proposition bets") - the percentages square measure terrible. Avoid drinking and enjoying once tired. Tip the dealer by giving him or her a stake in your game. If you win huge, do not advertise it. If you're an honest player, your best bets square measure poker and blackjack. If you're not, you'll do higher at craps or chemin de fer.

[wordywarriorwrites]

Chapter 15: Imperfect Union

Masterlist: The Boss of Brooklyn  A03 Story Link Author: @wordywarriorwrites Summary: When it comes to being The Boss, James Buchanan “JB” Barnes rules with an iron fist. For him, there’s no room for sentiment, and certainly no time for distraction, even if it is in the form of an old flame. Steve Rogers had bowed out of the life a long time ago, but a twist of fate brings him right back into the fold, and face-to-face with a man he once loved. When a game of cat and mouse turns into a matter of life and death, both will be forced to decide whether they’ll be loyal to the business, or faithful to each other. A/N: Bucky Barnes Mob Boss AU. Stucky. For: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan Star’s Multi-Fandom Follower Celebration with the prompt, “Why did you do it?” & @sherrybaby14 Sherry’s Fall Into You Challenge with the prompt, “Show me. Prove that you can handle me.” Warnings: Language, violence, drug use, alcohol, smoking, explicit sexual content, illegal activities. *Re-blogs are welcome. Plagiarism isn’t. *

Miles of pink sand beaches, palm trees, and the stunning blue-green waters of the Atlantic. Opulent accommodations, accompanied by lavish surroundings, and meticulous Five Diamond service.  

There was a lot they needed to accomplish, but they’d all put the business on the back burner because the meet on the South Shore was about more than just settling accounts and signing bottom lines; it was also about mending fences, giving Nick Fury a proper sendoff, and ensuring the torch was passed into safe, capable hands.  

Dinner had been set up in one of the resort’s waterfront event rooms, and it would’ve been a stilted affair had everyone not partaken in the generous platters of fresh seafood and imbibed nearly a dozen bottles of Mitcher’s Bourbon Whiskey and Screaming Eagle Sauvignon Blanc.

Wanda, Natasha, and Carol got tipsy, giggled, and gabbed like long-lost pals. Fury, Scott, and Rhodey definitely got drunk, and they somehow persuaded Thor, Clint, and Tony, who were all plastered, to join them for a game of high-stakes poker. To an outsider, it looked like they were a group of friends just blowing off some steam, but in actuality, they were all trying to distract themselves and find their bearings.

Bucky maintained his composure throughout the evening and Steve was just as civil. Though nobody dared to point out the elephant in the room, they were all very well aware that the two of them were not exactly copacetic, and needed to be given a wide berth. Steve chose to occupy himself by making the rounds and chit-chatting. Bucky, on the other hand, opted to hide out on the balcony, and he’d just decided to call it a night when Natasha stepped outside and joined him.

She handed him a fresh drink and gently nudged his shoulder, “You okay?”

Bucky took a sip and shrugged, “Why do you ask?”

“Because you seem worried. And you’ve been eye-balling Steve for the past two hours.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he countered. “And I’m watching everyone.”

“How about you cut the bullshit and tell me what’s really bothering you?”  

He shook his head, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she shot back.

Bucky turned away from the room and stared out at the view, but the sounds and sights of the waves brought him no comfort this time. If anything, his mind churned even harder than the waters of the ocean, and he wasn’t sure how to explain what he was thinking, let alone how he was feeling.

Steve had only returned to Brooklyn to do a job. He’d been set up, betrayed, and nearly killed, but still, he stayed, and he’d remained loyal. He’d brought in the traitors; handed over Fury’s business and crew; gave the Families more than enough intel to set them up for several decades to come. He’d struggled and fought tooth-and-nail for months to put things right and make a clean break.

Bucky could’ve pulled rank, put his foot down, and given Steve’s seat to Natasha, but he didn’t. He knew being put in charge of the West Indies wasn’t what Steve wanted, but instead of giving him his well-earned freedom, Bucky had taken it away, and he didn’t do it because it was just good business, or because he wanted to make the transition more palatable.

He did it because he wanted Steve to stay, and it was easier and less messy to force his hand than to ask him to stick around. He wanted him to stay because whether Steve liked it or not, this was where he was meant to be, and this was what he’d been groomed to do since before he could walk.

Bucky wanted Steve to stay, because even with all the enmity between them, even after everything they’d done to each other, there was still nobody else in the world he trusted more than him.

He wanted him to stay because he’d already let Steve go once, and he’d regretted it. He wanted him to stay because despite what Steve had told him, it had meant something, and Bucky hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him since the moment he’d fled Jamaica.

He wanted him to stay because what Maria said before Natasha put her down got under his fucking skin. He wanted him to stay, because no other man had ever fit so well in his life, or would ever look so right in his bed, and Bucky just couldn’t let it go…

But he couldn’t admit to any of it. Bucky couldn’t say any of it aloud, because that would make it too real, and he couldn’t allow himself to be honest or vulnerable or display anything that resembled human frailty. They’d reasserted control, but their grasp over both Brooklyn and their new real estate was still tenuous, and he needed to keep his authority, dignity, and backbone intact.  

“Do you love him?”

He snorted, “Love is one vice I can’t afford to indulge in.”

Natasha frowned, “That’s not an answer.”

“Well, that’s the answer you’ve been given,” Bucky retorted before he polished off his drink. “And on that note, I’m going to bed.”

On his way out, Bucky politely bid everyone goodnight, and then made his way to the elevator. It arrived promptly, and after he stepped inside, he selected the top floor. The doors had nearly closed, but someone shot out a hand and halted them. When Scott’s face appeared, Bucky stepped aside to make room for him, along with Steve and Rhodey, who followed quickly behind.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have dealt him in,” Rhodey groused.  

“A Royal fuckin’ Flush on the first hand,” Scott groaned in defeat. “How’s that even possible?”

Steve grinned and clapped them both on the back, “You can pay up in the morning.”

The three of them busted each other’s balls for several floors, and because Bucky’s suite was at the top of the high-rise, he got to be a spectator to all their antics. There were also several stops along the way, and one of the passengers kept readjusting his luggage until it fell right on top of his foot. The owner of the baggage didn’t even apologize, and Bucky was about to go off when he realized the person who had scuffed the toe of his Salvatore Ferragamo was too busy gawking at Steve to even realize what had happened.

Slapdash vacation ensemble of flip-flops, board-shorts, and a white t-shirt. A toned body, sharp jaw, and sandy-brown hair. He blushed and looked positively besotted, but all that doe-eyed innocence was counterbalanced with a flash of a sly smirk and the reveal of a tongue ring when he talked.

The elevator signaled it had arrived at the fifteenth floor, which was where Scott and Rhodey disembarked. If they said anything to him before they departed, Bucky didn’t hear it, as soon as it was just him, Steve, and the dude with the bad manners, the haphazard flirtation began.

It was way too much and far too obvious, which meant he wasn’t a pro, and the way he tried to subtly slip Steve his phone number suggested he was just a horny guy looking to get laid. Steve didn’t engage, but he didn’t exactly shut him down hard, either. Though his tone suggested he was very flattered, he was tactful, and even somewhat contrite when he said he wasn’t interested. To his credit, the guy took the rejection like a champ, and didn’t press the issue further.

Bucky knew he had no right whatsoever to be invidious of “my-name-is-Chad-and-my-room-is-1801-if-you-change-your-mind.” But he couldn’t deny that he really wanted to kick the guy’s teeth in, and he couldn’t pretend he wasn’t relieved that Steve didn’t change his mind decide to go with him.

He couldn’t recollect how many men had propositioned him in the past few months. He couldn’t remember their voices, their faces, or what they said to him. Bucky also couldn’t recall how many times he’d woken up alone, sober and extremely frustrated, because as much as he wanted to fuck Steve out of his system, he hadn’t been able to get it up for anyone else in months.

The automated voice chimed, “Floor Twenty,” and the doors parted. Steve got out and turned right. Bucky was supposed to go left, but he didn’t. Instead, he pursued Steve all the way to the end of the hall and right up to his door. The lock beeped and Steve reached for the handle, but Bucky got to it first. Even though he hadn’t been invited, and knew his presence was entirely unwelcome, he entered Steve’s room, and turned on the light.

As soon as Steve stepped over the threshold and the door clicked shut, Bucky turned around, grabbed him by the back of the neck, and slanted his mouth down hard over his.

None-too-gentle, deep, and possessive – it was a kiss that contradicted his words, shot his best intentions to hell, and betrayed his so-called indifference. It was a lip-lock that produced an instantaneous erection, which proved he wasn’t impotent, but also verified there was only one man he could and always would get hard for.

Bucky growled, pinned Steve up against the door, and bit down hard on his neck. Steve chuckled and Bucky knew – he knew that Steve knew was jealous – and he didn’t care. He just reached for his belt and yanked it open. As soon as the zipper was lowered and his boxers were pushed past his hips, Steve brought his hand to his mouth, and dragged his tongue over his palm and fingers. The hot, spit-slicked grasp around his dick made Bucky’s eyes roll back, and as the pressure increased, so did Steve’s grip.

It was all hot and frantic, but any thoughts of trying to reciprocate flew out of his head the moment Steve started to use both hands. He cupped and fondled with his left and maintained a steady pace with the right. He swiped the pad of his thumb repeatedly over the tip until Bucky was nice and slippery, and the sound of Steve working him over was just as filthy as it was erotic.  

“Is this the real reason I’m here?” he asked with a pointed squeeze. “Is this what you want me for?”

When Bucky didn’t answer right away, Steve jerked him harder, and picked up the pace.

“I gave you everything you wanted, but that wasn’t enough, was it? You want me under your thumb. You want me to follow your orders. You want me to call you Boss, don’t you?”

He moaned against his throat, “I want… Fuck, Steve, I want…”

“What? What do you want?” he demanded lecherously. “You want to fuck me into obedience? Screw me into submission? Is that what you want, JB? Do you just want a hole to stick your prick into, or do you actually want me?”  

“Don’t stop,” Bucky begged as he thrust his hips. “Fuck, whatever you do, don’t stop.”

“Say you want me. Say it and mean it,” Steve breathed into his ear. “Just say it, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can handle it – that I can handle you – and whatever else that gets thrown at us. Say it, and I just might let you come someplace else other than in your pants.”

Bucky should’ve been a man and owned up to what he felt, but he didn’t. At the same time Steve ripped the orgasm from his body, the word “No!” was also roughly torn out of his throat, and there was absolutely no way to take it back.

He knew he deserved it when Steve released him harshly and shoved him away. Bucky also knew Steve was more than justified in his actions when he spat in his face and wiped his cum-stained hands off on the sleeves of his suit jacket.

“I’m not some fuck-toy for you to play around with,” he snarled as he threw the door open wide.

Bucky pulled up his pants and met Steve’s rage-filled eyes, “I can’t. We can’t and I’m--”

“Just shut the fuck up,” Steve interjected coldly. “And get the fuck out.”

Chapter 16: Exsanguinate 

Everything: @jennmurawski13​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​

Steve Rogers: @patzammit @hearttoearth​ The Boss of Brooklyn: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @captain-rogers-beard

[icecreambeach]

"Arright," Jesse slurs, sliding slovenly into the beat-up old sofa in the corner of the rumpus room, waggling his cigar in Hanzo's face with a mischievous grin, "arright-- I got somethin'. Never have I..."

PREDICTABLY, this one gets real horny real fast. Rated E for NastEEE.

- - -

“Arright,” Jesse slurs, sliding slovenly into the beat-up old sofa in the corner of the rumpus room, waggling his cigar in Hanzo’s face with a mischievous grin, “arright– I got somethin’. Never have I…”

“The game is over, McCree,” Hanzo snorts, waving him away.

“Naw, naw, naw… that was the kids’ version.” Jesse tosses his head at the door, as if implying the four hours they’d just spent with the rest of the team – who’d all had enough sense to go to bed by now – was just the lead-up to the true point of this evening. Reinhardt and Lucio are still here, but they are across the room, smiling and chatting well out of ear-shot. Which may be lucky for them. “This round’s for the big dogs.”

“If you are about to get even more lewd than Angela’s med school dormitory confession, then get me another beer.”

“I’mma get even more lewd than Genji’s bukka–”

“Never mention that to me again,” Hanzo groans, face in his hand.

Jesse cackles and only staggers a little when he stands and, gentleman that he is, pulls a brew from the very bottom of the now mostly-watery cooler. The rumpus room at Gibraltar has seen better days, but they’ve managed to outfit it with most of the essentials: a couple sofas, some recliners, big holovid, a few games. The cooler is Reinhardt’s, which accounts for its size, but even this prime resource is running low.

He’ll have to make some kind of move before Hanzo can finish this beer, or he’ll miss his window and all this liquid courage will have been wasted.

Jesse thumps back onto the sofa, tucked into the arm opposite Hanzo, and passes him the beer. “Alright now. Never have I ever–”

“Wait.” Hanzo opens the beer and takes a long swig, the kind of deep gulps that make his throat stretch and Jesse’s thighs shift in his seat. “You may,” he burps, “Continue.”

Jesse snickers. He hasn’t had a drinking buddy like this since Blackwatch. “Never have I ever… wait. Wait.”

“What now?”“What did we establish?” Jesse sets his beer down on the coffee table and counts off on his metal fingers. “We both’ve had threesomes. Both’ve had sex in a car, a train, a plane, and at least four restaurants and or clubs. Both’ve had sex blindfolded and tied up and…”

“Is this round to only be about sex? There are other subjects.”“Well, feel like we covered everything else, and, to be frank… if we talk about the more nefarious shit we’ve both gotten up to, this night’s gonna take a dark turn real quick.”Hanzo grunts in reluctant agreement. He was slumped before, but now he sits up with considerable effort, like a sleepy king still trying to keep up appearances. “Go on then.”

“Never have I ever… uhh…” Then Jesse slaps his knee. Points at Hanzo like he’s got him. “Never have I ever had somethin’ up my ass that wasn’t a body part or toy!”

Hanzo tilts his head up, thinking. Jesse, who’d been expecting either a snort of disgust or a look of simple derision, is on the edge of his seat.

After some consideration, Hanzo drinks and Jesse brays: “WHAT? What was it?!”“The handle of another man’s knife.”

“That’s…” Jesse knows he doesn’t have the self control to finish that sentence without playing all his cards at once. So he just hisses through his teeth and tries to get a hold of himself. Takes a puff of his cigar and mouths around the end. “Jesus Christ. Alright. Your turn. Shit.”

Hanzo looks smugly at Jesse. “Never have I ever slept with my boss.”“That ain’t fair.” Jesse drinks. “You never had a boss.”

“That is the point of the game. To use one’s knowledge of each others’ differences to win.”

“No, the object is’t’learn ‘bout each other and fun and… well, anyway, I ain’t got a big-mouth brother to tell me all the gossip ‘bout my new team members.” Then Jesse narrows his eyes. Aims to kill. “Never have I ever eaten food off of someone’s naked body.”

Hanzo rolls his eyes and drinks. But Jesse has little time to celebrate. “Never have I ever had sex in womens’ clothing.”

Jesse’s jaw drops. “How’d you know?”Hanzo chuckles darkly. “What was it? Bad dare gone wrong?”“Nah,” Jesse shrugs, smirks like the devil, “I just look really good in a brassiere and thigh highs.”

Jesse sees his brow flick up. The effect reminds him very much of a cat waving its tail. “What color?”

“Kind of a tangerine.”“Hn,” Hanzo slowly grunts, shifts his body so that it’s more open to Jesse. Leans his jaw on his hand. “Suits you.”It takes a second for Jesse to remember that they’re playing a game, but in his defense, he is playing two games at once, and one has much higher stakes. “Never have I ever…” He strokes his beard. Considers. “Worn a spreader for more’n an hour.”Hanzo chokes on his beer. Curses in Japanese as he wipes it off his shirt.Jesse grins with deep satisfaction. So the man likes ‘em dressed up and spread out. “Does that count as a drink?”“No. Kuso. You are not even playing well.”

“Alright. Go on, then. I’m still sober enough to find my dorm. Don’t know about you.”

“Never have I ever…” Hanzo hesitates, swallows. Looks at Jesse with strained determination. “…Gone home with a bartender.”

“Now you’re just walkin’ backwards into tame territory,” Jesse drawls after his drink. “Game gettin’ too hard for ya, old man?”Hanzo smirks, and though it’s brief – like a poker tell – Jesse feels a little fear crawl up his spine. Decides to go for broke. “Never have I ever been spanked with anything but a hand or a riding crop.”Hanzo’s face darkens in the most satisfying way yet. He looks over Jesse like he might drink him up too, but he leaves his beer alone. In fact, he settles more deeply into the sofa.

Jesse wonders if he’s pushing too hard. “Y’ready for bed? We can–”“Never have I ever sucked someone off while they were driving.”

Jesse’s brows flare just listening to Hanzo say that out loud. That intense stare, that unashamed enunciation. Hanzo stares like a drawn gun. Jesse can feel his eyes on his chest while he drinks, the spot where four buttons air out the hair that spreads up half of his pectorals. He can feel sweat form at the spot along with his temples.

Hanzo drapes an arm across the back of the sofa. Seems to move closer without effort. “Military vehicle?”Jesse shakes his head. “Truck.”“Was it your idea or his?”“Mine.” Jesse feels some of the levity in the air get replaced by sudden, coiled arousal. Doesn’t know what to do about it. Wasn’t ready for it, even if it was his plan all along. “Was a long ride. Got bored.”

Hanzo lifts his drink to his lips. “Did he pull over before he came down your throat?”“Jesus. Jesus, Han.”

“Never have I ever–”“It ain’t your turn.”“I will say when I am finished.” He’s somehow now even closer on the sofa. “Never have I ever been fucked by two men at once.”Jesse drops his jaw. Despite all the drinking, his throat’s gone dry. But he locks eyes with the other man anyway, downs more beer anyway. Gives him a slow, slick smile anyway. “That one wasn’t my idea. But I held up real well.”

“You took them both at once?” Hanzo mutters, voice now lower and softer. More appropriate to their closer quarters.“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” Jesse spreads his knees over the sofa despite the hammering of his heart. “One laying down, one standing from behind.”

“Did you come on them like that?”

“Fuck,” Jesse hisses, “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”“Did they fill you up well,” Hanzo trails his fingertips across the back of Jesse’s hand, “Did they give it to you hard for being such a good boy?”“Christ. You’re gonna kill me, Hanzo…”

But Hanzo is even closer now, easily within touching distance and Jesse has no idea how. Never really registered his movement, though he has had a few by now. Can’t bring himself to care with all the need coiling in his guts, the sharp shudders threatening to make him do something stupid. It’s all he can do to stay still now that he can see the very subtle start of Hanzo’s morning stubble, can smell the Czech pilsner on his breath, can count the scales on the dragon from where the man’s yukata slips down his shoulder.

“Never have I ever kissed a man in Gibraltar,” Hanzo noses close to Jesse’s jaw.

Jesse would smile, but he’s way too focused on the playful knowing in Hanzo’s half-grin. It’s the last thing he sees before their lips are together, soft at first, then quickly sloppy and impish and perfect. They both know how drunk they are, and how neither probably want things to go much further than this tonight, and so both settle into the luxury of a winding, aimless kiss with deep sighs and quiet, revenant moans. If Reinhardt and Lucio are even still in the room, neither take notice.

By the time they part, Jesse is winded. “Guess I have to drink now.”

“No more drinking.” Then Hanzo grins and leans to press his lips right up against the soft, sensitive shell of Jesse’s ear. “Never have I ever…”

And then Hanzo whispers into his ear something so graphic, so specific, so obscene that Jesse feels his heart locomotive straight into his belly, feels that shudder he’s been suppressing pulse upward from the same spot. He’s never met someone as kinky as he is and Hanzo just blew him away with one shot on a half-drunken brain at 3:30 in the morning.

“I’m gonna,” Jesse wheezes, “Need to write that one down.”

“I will remember.” Then Hanzo settles on top of Jesse, kisses him again, and neither hold their win against the other come morning.

[alkhale]

Hello hello miss!... Uh, I think that's how you identify??? If not, please tell me!!! I don't wanna misgender you on accident or something Q-Q Anyways, I've been reading Memo, and I! Really love Hoku, and the way she interacts with the world, and her relationships with everyone, it's just really well written. Plus, she sounds REALLY pretty and I'm weak for that. That aside, are you up for getting ideas for Memo!AUs people've had, or headcanons? If not it's cool, just wanted to ask :> ~ Vira

omg u good, dw anon. 

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU CUTIE, I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD USE AN uwu WHEN ANSWERING THIS ONE HAHAHAHA. Thank you for loving it and thank you so much!! CALLING HOKU PRETTY IS SO SWEET WHEN SHE PROBABLY JUST LOOKS AT HERSELF LIKE HELL YEAH THAT KIIONOHI WAS WORTH IT. 

I’m guilty of already having a lot of AU ideas for Memos and I might just start a story on AO3 for a collection of them so they don’t clutter the actual story or I can go more in depth or explore some other things hahaha. I’ll start putting them in little omakes and stuff, but Memos chapters have been hella long so I’m worried about overbogging stuff but y’all seem chill with these crazy counts so i hope u don’t mind

AUs:

- School AU, this one’s just fun shenanigans and I love modern AUs. School Council President Sabo, Ace being Ace, Hot teacher Shanks, for some reason Kid and Hoku both have the same art class in basic architecture and metal welding because he’s a grease monkey and Hoku likes designs. Straw Hat crew in school, Brook’s a popular soul musician. Franky and Robin are teachers. 

- MODERN AU. I have so many ideas i wanna hash out for different Modern AUs, hahaha, i’m so attracted to these and was this close to writing it out instead as its own kind of story but Memos won over. 

ASL+Hoku living together and their daily life (together its HASL like hassle and that’s exactly what it’s like with these idiots)

Started to live together once Ace and Sabo were in their third year of high school, it’s been awhile now. (Hoku’s family passed away when she was young, Garp was doing marine work stationed in Hawaii and took an interest in her but before he could find her, she went to live with ‘someone else’ until he managed to shove her in with Luffy, she’s technically an emancipated minor)

Ace is a construction worker/part time fire fighter and picks up all sorts of odd jobs and errand runs.

Whitebeard took him in on several occasions when stuff happened. Ace is super close to the group even though they’re lowkey high profile crime bosses. Marco’s a doctor underground and professional, Thatch is a chef (whitebeard’s crew always sends gifts and visits and hooks them up with deals at random places)

“Ace! Can you call Marco? I think Hoku’s anemic again.”

“I swear to god, put down that phone he’s going to give me all those pills and I don’t wanna pay the hospital bill–”

“But it’s free.”

“God damn it.”

Sabo works for a high fashion brand design/political activist group (somehow these two meshed and Dragon runs both so)

Hoku and Luffy are students almost finishing up with high school. 

Sabo is designated most put-together-has-his-shit-ready, if you can’t find your paint brushes Hoku, ask Sabo. Ace, Sabo put ur laundry away already. He’s usually in charge of meals and making sure the bills get paid. (Their apartment is spacious but a little dingy and random stuff breaks or falls apart but Ace and Hoku are really handy and always fixing shit)

Ace can only make pasta and grilled foods. He’s great with the barbecue. Luffy can’t cook. Hoku cooks pretty damn well but she’s clumsy in the kitchen so she tries to cook before Sabo or Ace get home and they scream something about her cutting off a finger and needing stitches again

House is always decorated with flowers or something nice like a painting or photos or tapestries. Hoku always does that.

They have a small garden plot by the apartment complex. Hoku and Sabo take care of it. Ace and Luffy eat from it a lot and run out animals trying to steal the tangerines from the tree Nami’s adopted mom gave them as a house warming gift.

The three of them fill out a lot of her pages in her sketchbooks and easels. “Is that Sabo again?” “Yeah, he fell asleep reading and he looks too perfect so I wanted to draw it.” “That kinda pisses me off.” “Me too, we’ll do something about it when I finishl.”

Her art classmates are always super eager to see her stuff and ask about the hot older guys in her drawings and please ask them to model. Hoku relents. Ace comes in to model because he gets paid. That’s a story for another day.

Hoku has regular poker nights for awhile now with a group of people Ace and Sabo didn’t think about (they always thought it was the girls or some friends like their friend group) until one night Luffy goes to hang out with the others and they’re like?? Hoku??? and Luffy’s like?? Hoku doesn’t do poker nights with us you dummies.

This sends them into a panic attack and Sabo has Hoku’s location at all times because he did something permanent to her phone (Hoku does not know this) and they visit (stalk) her at one of her poker nights. Find out its in some weirdly shady fancy club body guarded by a bunch of ridiculously macho looking guys (it’s actually Daz, Vergo and some others) They stake out and froth at the mouth, nearly dying when they see Hoku walk out surrounded by GIANT MEN DOUBLE HER SIZE AND AGE, HOKU HONEY, WHAT? It’s Crocodile and Doflamingo, usually Mihawk, and sometimes Jimbei comes.

Hoku’s like ?? I’ve played poker with these guys for forever. (They’re big crime syndicates and totally into illegal business and Sabo knows this and Ace is ready to murder) but apparently Hoku weaseled her way in and she’s a good player so they have fun and like gambling with her. They always suggest taking her to Vegas with them because they’re high rollers but Hoku’s always like nah i got school and work.

Sabo and Ace after herding her home try to convince her to stop meeting with them and Hoku’s just like lmao no and takes out huge wads of cash from her pockets. “They’re ridiculously rich and I win a lot.” They also pay for a lot of good food and Hoku’s not about to pass that up. (She sneaks leftovers for Luffy all the time ((but the older men already know and usually just have shit boxed up for her anyway))) 

“But they’re older men and dangerous!”

“It’s not like I’m going on a date with them. It’s just gambling.”

“You like older men!”

“Oh, yeah, huh.”

Law and Kid are classmates and Luffy and Hoku hang out with them a lot when its not with their crew and Ace and Sabo are always like cant you hang out with better people. Kid and Law never feel welcome in their house but Hoku’s just like dw if they bother u i won’t talk to them and then they get upset and yada yada. Doesn’t stop Ace and Sabo from being super mean looking and scary. Kid and Law are hard to ward off, unfortunately.

Law’s studying to be a doctor, well on the way. Kid’s a mechanic and works at a shop and does street racing. Hoku wants to design a car interior for him.

People always say Sabo seems like the prim and perfect gentlemen of the three and he’ll make a good husband and they just laugh and Hoku tells Koala and she laughs because they always wave their hands and say nah nah, Sabo’s secretly the most sneaky and lowkey scary/sadistic/a tease out of all of them, don’t let the pretty face fool you

(and he really is, sometimes he makes Hoku beg for the pretty cakes he brings home from work from clients because he thinks its cute when she’s trying to reach them over his head)

Shanks is a famous traveler/explorer, always known for doing crazy stuff and his team of explorers climb mountains, explore caves, travel all around the world and take beautiful shots and Hoku and Luffy always tune in. Shanks saved Luffy once from a freak accident and he’s his hero and Hoku has such a hopeless crush on him.

Modern AU where Law is Luffy’s partner in college for a project and he goes to Luffy’s house. Hoku’s a TA for Shanks and stupidly stupid for him and Law meets her and feels things.

Modern AU where Strawhat crew goes on a road trip.

Monsters AU. Hoku’s a ghost.

Hanahaki AU. Red flowers.

Marines AU.

Genderbent AU.

Some other ones but i gotta go finish that essay i mentioned hahaha, hope these were fun! the modern HASL one ran away with me

THANKS FOR LOVING IT

[krreader]

BTS (Mafia!AU) reacting to you being a badass.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; mafia!au ; mentions of killing (and everything that comes with it) ; language ; mentions of sex genre: crack ; mentions of smut ; badassery?

a/n: aaaah I love it when the reader is a badass omg. that’s like my kink hahaha. hope you enjoy it! (masterlists are in my description box)

kim seokjin

“Jin, they're not worth it,” you tried pulling your husband away from the three guys of another mafia that Bangtan has had a brawl with for ages, but the second the next sentence left one of their mouths, was the second even you lost your cool.

“Yeah, Jin. Better listen to your wife, before we take those twins of yours.”

Call it badassery, call it a mother being protective, but Jin didn't even have time to react, as you had already turned around and punched the guy straight in the face, before kicking the other one in the balls and pulling out a knife that you held against the throat of the third.

“You threaten my children again, I'll cut off your dicks and make you eat them. Do you understand me?”

And even though mafia members liked to be intimidating and act like nothing scared them, they ran away from you as quickly as possible.

And Jin just looked at you with parted lips as you put the knife away again.

“Jagi.. you never told me you could do that.”

“I didn't know either,” you shrugged, “I think I just lost it when they mentioned the kids.”

“Well.. at least now I know that nothing will ever happen to our children, because you won't let it,” he chuckled as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “Come on. Let's go home and kiss them goodnight together.”

min yoongi

“Babe, what are you doing,” you tried to rub away the sleep as you sat up in bed, “It's three in the morning.”

“There's something wrong.. I think somebody is trying to hack into our system,” Yoongi typed away on the keyboard, way too focused on the screen in front of him to notice that you got out of bed. And a moment later, you sat on his lap, “(Y/N) this isn't the right time for sex.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled and pushed his hands away, continuing to type on the keyboard, “Looks like a leak to me. Are you sure you can trust everyone that works for you guys?”

“First of all, when did you learn how to do this?”

“We've been married for three years. I picked up a few things. Now answer my question.”

“I.. don't know. There was this one guy that Namjoon was unsure about.”

“Then get him. This happened because someone from the inside helped these people. You make sure that the guy is caught, I make sure they won't get any information.”

Yoongi managed to squeeze out from under you and was about to leave, when he turned around and said: “Hey, (Y/N)? When we get back, we should really fuck.”

You started chuckling, “Sure. Whatever you want.”

jung hoseok

Did you like that your husband was teaching your son how to shoot a gun? No. Did you think it was necessary for him to know? Absolutely.

As much as you hated it, you knew that your boy would have to defend himself sooner or later. You were just grateful that Hoseok had waited this long for him to hold a gun in his hand for the first time.

And so as you walked out into the backyard of your mansion, watching your son completely miss the target and then let out a disappointed sigh.

“I'm sorry daddy.. I'm not very good at this,” his head, as well as shoulders dropped, but Hoseok immediately knelt down in front of him and grabbed his chin.

“This isn't easy. We'll work on it for as long as it takes..-”

“Your father needed years to be good at shooting at targets, you know?” you interrupted, both of your men looking at you.

“Really dad?”

“I..-” not really what he wanted his son to know, to be honest. He wanted to be this badass mafia member, but okay. Thanks, wife.

“Here, watch your mother, okay?” you grabbed the gun out of Hoseok's hand, loaded it and then shot, hitting the bullseye without batting an eyelash.

“WOHA! Mommy, that was INSANE!” your son jumped up and down, “PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT!”

“Sure,” you kissed the top of his head and looked at your husband, “How about you change our daughter's diapers in the meantime, sweetheart? And also have a bath with her? I'll teach our son how to shoot in the meantime.”

“Don't play with fire, (Y/N),” he whispered into your ear as he walked past you, “Or we'll have our third child in nine months.”

kim namjoon

“We need to smuggle this inside,” Namjoon said to his fellow members, “Anyone got a plan?”

Dead silence.

Because no, none of them had a plan how to smuggle something as big as this into a fucking security area such as this one.

Well.. one did.

“Uh.. hyung? How come (Y/N) is pregnant? And.. how come she's walking towards the security gate?”

All eyes were immediately on the screen, as they watched you walk up to the security guard with a pregnancy bump that all of them knew was fake.

But the security guard didn't.

“Hey,” you smiled brightly at the man and even brighter when he smiled back at you, “Uhm.. I was wondering if you could maybe help me? My husband is working inside and I must have forgotten my ID. Would you mind calling him for me and getting him to pick me up? He wanted to drive me to the hospital.”

“The hospital? Are you alright Miss?”

“The contractions aren't that bad yet, but you know.. I don't want to have the baby in the middle of the street,” you laughed.

The security guard looked around and then gently put his hand on your lower back, ushering you inside, “Just get him yourself. And take care of you and your baby, alright?”

“Thank you so much, Sir. I really appreciate it. I'll be sure to tell my husband about you, maybe he'll even get you a raise.”

And only a moment later, you called your boyfriend with a proud smile on your face, “Just tell me where to drop the package off, babe.”

Jimin was the first to react and say: “You better marry her, hyung.”

park jimin

“I told you this was a bad idea!” Jimin panicked as he looked at the police cars chasing your car, “They'll catch us!”

“Just keep driving,” Namjoon ordered, readying his gun to shoot at the cars once again.

In the meantime, you let out a huff and shook your head.

“We'll switch.”

“What?! Are you insane?!”

“No. I'll sit on your lap, put my foot down on the gas and then you switch over to my seat,” it's not that he had much of a choice because a moment later you already were sitting on him, “Tell your dick to stop twitching, this isn't going to end in me riding you.”

“How do you expect me to not get a boner when you rub yourself on me like this,” he quickly climbed to the passengers seat and was awfully surprised at how good you were at this.

He had been fast too, but you were.. skilled. You knew what streets to take, where to go and where you would lose the police cars behind you. You knew how to drive so that Namjoon and the rest could fire at the cars behind you.

And before you knew it, you were back at your base without anyone chasing you anymore.

“If I had known you could drive a getaway car like this, I would have asked you to do it a lot sooner,” Namjoon chuckled, “Good job, (Y/N). Now go ahead and give Jimin an orgasm before he explodes.”

And with that, the rest of Bangtan left the car and you looked at Jimin's awfully prominent boner.

“What? That was sexy,” he shrugged, but then started laughing when you straddled him.

kim taehyung

When Taehyung found out that they had kidnapped his wife, you, he had lost it. He had almost killed three of his brothers, eight employee's and had actually killed two suspects.

Nobody knew where you were or who had taken you.

Not until they got a message, saying that if Taehyung wanted you back, he would have to bring a certain amount of money and weapons.

And if he tried to pull any tricks, they'd kill you in front of his eyes.

And because he just couldn't fathom the thought of losing you, he brought them all they wanted and more, just to make sure you would be okay.

“Now give me back my wife,” he ordered as he threw both bags on the dirty ground in front of him.

“Ah, come on, Taehyung. Did you actually think it would be this easy?” the guy in front of him chuckled, but then his eyes widened when gun shots suddenly went off in the car.

And a moment later, the doors got busted open and a lifeless body was thrown onto him.

“(Y/N),” Taehyung's eyes widened as he watched you wipe away the blood from your nose and the previous angry look was switched to a smile.

“Oh, hey babe. Glad you could make it,” you walked past the two guys, putting a bullet into the head of the other, before you picked up the money and guns, “I could really use a bath.. do you need to do anything else, or can we go home?”

He just stared at you in disbelief for a moment, before whispering, “You know.. when our daughter kept telling me you were a badass, I probably should have believed her.”

He should have. But that would have spoiled the surprise.

jeon jeongguk

Jeongguk was usually really good at poker. Especially at these kind of poker games, where usually some, or all, died but one by the end of it. The stakes were much higher than at normal poker games.

But this enemy of theirs he was playing against today.. he was not just a ruthless man, but an incredibly skilled player.

And you knew that Jeongguk would lose.

And because you rather liked your boyfriend and would like to keep him for a little longer, you suddenly walked into the room as confident as you could, all eyes on you.

“Who are you?” the guy in front of Jeongguk asked, your boyfriend shaking his head as if he was telling you to leave.

But you just took a seat next to him with a small smile, “I heard you were missing one player,” your eyes glanced towards the body on the ground, not even trembling because of the corpse, “So I thought I'd try my luck.”

“Sweetheart, you don't know what you're getting yourself into.”

“I think I do.. sweetheart.”

The guy either didn't care or just really liked your look. The key to these things was the dress. You wore one that was exposing your cleavage and breasts a little, so the guys wouldn't care much if that meant they could stare at a pretty woman.

But he did care when you suddenly won, despite of him having cheated.

“That's.. impossible.”

“Rules are rules,” you pulled the gun out of your holster that you had strapped around your thigh and grinned, “You owe me a life.”

And even though his bodyguards were already pulling out their guns, Jeongguk and you had killed the rest of the people in the room in the blink of an eye, so that it was only you and him.

“You never told me you could play..”

“I can't, actually,” you showed him the cards you had cheated with and winked at him, “I'm just a better cheater than he is.”

Oh, how much he loved you.

[vinspiration-book]

Son of Palaven, Daughter of Earth Playlist

Based on the story by miceenscene

Story Here

Spotify Playlist Here

Playlist Status: Synced up to ch. 47

This wonderful piece of fanfiction inspired me to create a soundtrack for it.  Here is a track listing and some thoughts about each piece.  I try to pick thematic tracks for each story beat, while still retaining a rhythm between each song.

1. The Arranged Marriage - Gavin Luke

An instrumental piece by film composer Gavin Luke is the overture.  Anxious and urgent, it depicts a quiet, unhappy uncertainty that is nevertheless peppered by bright chords.  Combined with the name, it sets the tone for Shepard and Garrus’ unwilling journey into matrimony.

2. I Still Taste Fire - Stephanie Mabey

“I woke up with ashes in my mouth”

Shepard’s beginning theme.  A dark and driving song of regret and grit.  Shepard feels that she, Flaming Death, has personally lost the war and didn’t even get to see the ending.  The line “Thought I'd always remember what it felt like / To want you / But it's all kind of hazy now / Almost like I burned it down” normally refers to a lover, but in Shepard’s case, the “you” is an end to the war that she thought she wanted.  Now that the price of peace is her freedom, it's a bitter thing to swallow.

3. This Means War - Marianas Trench

“I hate to admit it but I miss the war”

Garrus’ beginning theme.  Whereas Shepard’s song was all seriousness and loss, Garrus can never quite be 100% sass-free.  So we get this jocular tune about having to play nice with someone even though you’d rather be fighting them.

4. Can’t Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus

“If you try to hold me back I might explode”

The wedding: Shepard’s view.  Deep in enemy territory, forced to participate in a ritual meant to demean her and her species, Shepard is nevertheless putting on a fierce display, just like the brash attitude of this number.  The irony of the song is that the singer keeps repeating over and over how she can’t be tamed; almost as if no one believes her?  Also includes the line “I'm like a puzzle / But all of my pieces are jagged” which has a double meaning that ties in to the story: as Garrus says much, much later both literally and metaphorically, “[A puzzle] is the best thing you could have gotten me”.

5. Love Runs Out - OneRepublic

“I'll be doin' this, if you ever doubt, / 'Til the love runs out”

The wedding: Garrus’ view.  Is this a romantic song, or a resigned one?  Or is it duplicitous?  Garrus may be a bad turian, but he’s still obedient to the Hierarchy, even if it’s only going through the motions and hoping for an escape.  The driving punch of the bass notes echoes this sentiment in a song that could be read as either loving commitment or bitter commitment.  It contains a lot of fire imagery too, especially the singer being someone to help someone else start a fire… perfect for being tied to Flaming Death. The song also mentions an (arch?)angel and the strong influence of the singer’s mother, both of which are important to the story.

6. Poker Face - Lady Gaga

“Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun”

Spying: Shepard’s view.  So Shepard and Garrus only ever play a board game in this story rather than poker, but come on.  It’s Poker Face.  It’s the best song ever about selfishly conning your partner to further your own high-stakes goals.

7. Fraud - Jonathan Coulton

“Sharp teeth test your skin / Too late, you let an angel in”

Spying: Garrus’ view.  This song takes a more meditative approach to being disingenuous, but just about every verse is packed with imagery that pairs perfectly with the story, from unwanted houseguests, to painting, fighting, and losing.  The refrain is even about an angel with fangs!

8. Didn’t Know You - Karmin

“Like a bird of prey / Out of nowhere you came / Do you always get your way?"

The reports: Shepard’s view.  An angry song about being the victim of deception and invasive tactics.  The singer talks especially about upending their entire life (setting “dreams ablaze”--fire imagery again) for the sake of someone who turned out to be a liar that controls their every move.  Turians are sometimes referred to as “birds” as a pejorative in Mass Effect, making the repeated line fit even more.

9. Can’t Go to Hell - Sin Shake Sin

“This romance with ignorance has left us behind”

The reports: Garrus’ view. Unlike Shepard’s reaction to finding the reports--which is very much about personal betrayal--Garrus’ reaction is a more public outcry about the situation going FUBAR.  One of the central tenets in ME canon about Shepard and Garrus’ relationship (to the point that even the characters themselves talk about it in these terms) is that he willingly follows her into hell every single time.  This makes the bitter anger of the chorus (“We can’t go to hell if we’re already there”) especially poignant.  The second verse evokes Shepard and Garrus’ situation closely too, mentioning being “blind by design” and stating “...history keeps getting paid to change its mind”, which is the purpose of the arranged marriage in the first place.

10. Home - Machine Gun Kelly & X Ambassadors

“Now tell me, how did all my dreams turn to nightmares?”

Shepard and Garrus: no extraction.  A rare male/female duet of frustration and longing for respite that neatly applies to the protagonists’ mindsets.  Both Anderson and the Hierarchy have turned away their soldiers, leaving them in this untenable situation.  Though they arrived at it differently--and aren’t commiserating at this point--Shepard and Garrus are feeling the same thing now:  They must continue to live together, but there’s no way this life can bring them any happiness or rest.

11. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap

“Speak no feeling, no, I don't believe you”

Shepard is broken, and so is Garrus, a little.  This haunting acapella song (delivered in dual-toned overdub kind of like how a turian speaks, interestingly) was famously used by a TV drama for an overly dramatic murder scene, and then used again by Saturday Night Live to spoof that scene.  But Hide and Seek is technically about a divorce… and how a former home now becomes unrecognizably empty as the former couple moves out and apart.  Although they can’t separate, this is essentially what has happened to Shepard and Garrus.  Shepard tries to “live” as little as possible in the house while still being confined to it.  Garrus tries to escape to work.  

12. Rumble - Hi Fashion

“He said, she said / You better mind your space”

The alley brawl.  A complete turnaround from the previous song, this abrupt battle anthem (sung by dual tones again, and with a notable mention of a man and a woman both throwing the punches) is both high-energy, but also a slower tempo than you’d expect.  The effect is that of measured, precise violence rather than a chaotic frenzy; perfect for trained soldiers giving a beatdown.  Canon Shepard gets ribbed for being an awful dancer--outside of the battlefield, at least, giving an ironic twist to the dance imagery in the lyrics.  But this is technically the first time in the story that Shepard and Garrus are in sync: their first metaphorical dance together.

13. Hammer to Fall - Queen

“Tow the line and play their game / Yeah, let the anesthetic cover it all”

Medigel.  This story's version of Shepard loves Queen, and this song provides the title for the story’s later chapters, so it had to be on the soundtrack of course.  A disillusioned anthem to soldiers who are asked to fight wars for reasons someone else decided, it describes Shepard and Garrus’ situation perfectly--their lives have been ruined because of Fedorian’s unjust war.  Even though this is a small snippet of background to the story, it’s nevertheless a critical turning point, when Garrus realizes just how badly Shepard has been wronged… and that he himself contributed to it.

14. Karma - Marina

“So vicious, this cycle / When you live in sweet denial”

The apology: Shepard’s view.  Garrus apologies to Shepard, but she doesn’t know how to take it.  She’s skeptical, and with good reason.  Although this song is talking about a great deal of betrayal, the tone is less angry--or even melancholy--than weary and aloof.  The singer has made what peace she can with the situation, and is just waiting to see how everything plays out, rather than actively wishing harm on someone.  Karma is usually about an equal return of bad experiences, but Shepard is too defeated at this point to really care about that.  Garrus’ distress at his actions is actually better karma than if he himself were to be betrayed.

15. I Won’t Let You Down - OK Go

“Maybe all you need is someone to trust”

The apology: Garrus’ view.  Garrus is a man of action, and this upbeat track wastes no time in sorrow, instead attempting to reach out to the wounded party with a direct promise of support.  The lyrics talk about people who have every right to be distrustful, even using battle imagery (“no flag to fly”, “strap that armor tighter on”)... but rather than trying to get past their defenses, the singer encourages the downtrodden to fight harder--together.  A very Garrus point of view.

16. Rumors - Lindsay Logan

"You're probably gonna write what you didn't see”

The interview.  Ah, Khalisah.  A pretty straightforward song about paparazzi doing what paparazzi do, sung by the aggrieved celebrity.

17. One Shot - Rob Thomas

"We get one chance to make this kickstart”

Bottle shooting at the valley.  While Shepard and Garrus fire a lot of rounds during this little date, it's the final shot that's the most important.  Garrus' previous actions since their fight have been peace offerings, but this is his first actual gift to Shepard.  He gives Shepard his crown just to see her smile.  Essentially, his first romantic gesture is literally “one shot”.  The sentiment pairs perfectly with this energetic tune about starting something rare and good.

18. Souvenir - Johnnyswim

“It's those little things that I hold dear”

Terra Goods.  At this point, Shepard and Garrus are starting to do things to really support each other in little ways and in big ways, culminating in Garrus creating a whole souvenir trading company just to make Shepard happy.  This song, a duet that alternates between jaunty and staid, talks about a couple that had a brief good time, then separated due to some unnamed conflict.  Now they both think fondly of their time together, making souvenirs of the memories.  Both singers individually wish for another chance, while not realizing the other person does too.

19. DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love - Usher, Pitbull

“I think I remember those eyes”

Clubbing with Solana.  This throbbing dance tune is simple enough that even Shepard could probably keep to the beat.  Seeing Shepard (attempting to) dance is one of the first moments where Garrus is physically attracted to her.

20. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Easy come, easy go / Little high, little low”

The walk back.  Shepard sings this most famous Queen song as she stumbles home under Garrus’ watchful eye.  It describes a murderer with a guilty conscience, which Shepard is somewhat.  She’s killed a lot of turians, but now they are people to her instead of monsters.  Shepard probably isn’t thinking about that, though… it’s just a fun song to sing when you’re drunk.  Or anytime.

21. Livin’ in the Sunlight, Lovin’ in the Moonlight - The Good Johnsons

“I’m right here to stay”

Splashing in the fountain.  This whimsical cover of an old song is just silly enough for Shepard’s drunken water foray.  Although it’s been building for a bit, it takes hard liquor for Shepard to admit she might be happy on Palaven.  But there’s a slight undercurrent of the singer not believing their own message.  The line “I’m as free as any daughter” is especially ironic in this context.

22. Mom - Meghan Trainor

“Ain’t nobody got a mom like mine”

Visiting with Galena.  Shepard’s relationship with Garrus’ mother is one of my favorite parts of the story, and it’s one of the things that cements Shepard’s feeling that she may just belong here.  It’s also significant that even though Shepard is starting to love Garrus, she can only express love towards his mother at first.  In a way, loving Galena teaches Shepard how to love Garrus.  Hence why this story beat gets its own song.

23. With A Little Help From My Friends - The Beatles

“Are you sad because you're on your own?”

The care package.  Finally, Shepard finds out that Earth hasn’t completely abandoned her.  This song especially talks about isolation when your lover is not there, and how friends can help you through it.  When Garrus isn’t there, Shepard is almost totally alone on the planet, so learning her squad still supports her is a huge relief.

24. Tongues - Joywave, KOPPS

“Tell me all the things I've missed”

Ashley.  This furtive song is about returning to where you are from, only to find out you are now a stranger to them.  While Shepard’s argument with Ashley is a little more circumspect than that, the gist is that Shepard learns that even though she now has this lifeline back to Earth, she’s not welcomed like she was before… which is just what she has been fearing since her interview with Khalisah.

25. Unbreakable - Jamie Scott

“I won't let you fall down now”

Garrus comforts Shepard and comes to a realization.  This song of gentle encouragement talks about a woman who has lost everything, and the man who wants to love her regardless.  It’s emotive and warm and seems to capture just what Garrus is thinking as Shepard cries in his arms.

26. War Paint - Fletcher

“I write the colors on my face”

The dress shop.  Keslia describes the Gala being a battle, and Shepard’s dress being her armor.  This song of self-empowerment uses loads of battle imagery and works in tandem with the previous one… Shepard’s been wounded emotionally but she’s still fighting.  Turians’ face markings have important meaning for family and home.  But for humans, the same sort of marks are called war paint and are used by warriors to represent ferocity and power.  Shepard turns an outfit that could just make her into the ornament that the turians want and turns it into a symbol of her survival.

27. Ballroom Blitz - Tia Carrere

“She could kill you with a wink of her eye”

The Gala, part 1.  A fun cover of an energetic song talking about a crazy party fight.  Between the turian generals and Cyntha, Shepard and Garrus really do have a battle on their hands.  While nothing violent actually happens, they have each other’s backs throughout the event, even standing up solo versus their partner’s enemies.

28. Blue Dress - Benjamin Franklin Leftwich

“I should love you better than that”

The Gala, part 2.  Shepard asks Garrus if her presence is harming his career, but he doesn’t reply.  This song is meant to be the answer he doesn’t say.  It’s an apology from a man whose work/travel has prevented him from participating in a relationship like he should.  Interestingly, in ME canon, it’s the opposite: the Shadow Broker notes that Garrus’ attachment to Shepard prevents him from being a better commander.  The line “But still my only weakness / Is you baby in that blue dress” fits nicely with the story, but funnily enough also with canon… as blue is the color of the Alliance uniforms that canon Shepard typically wears.

29. Vie En Rose - Pomplamoose

“It’s only him for me / and me for him, for life”

Dancing in the driveway.  This version of Shepard speaks French, so this slow, lilting, classic French love song is what I imagine coming out of the car stereo when Garrus teaches Shepard to dance.  Ok, so it’s probably more likely a turian song playing in this scene, but still.  I especially like the stanza that says “He speaks words of love to me / They are everyday words / And they do something to me” because unlike canon, where Shepard and Garrus’ bond is forged in battle, in this AU it’s built from all the little everyday things they say and do for each other.

30. Bad Liar - Selena Gomez

“If you're the art, I'll be the brush”

Painting.  Shepard and Garrus made that “100%” promise, but when it comes to feelings, they don’t exactly follow through.  This breathy song is about admitting--at least to yourself--that you were denying your emotions, and that your love interest seems to be as well.  Not that Shepard is clued in enough to realize Garrus feels the same way, but putting together the easel with Garrus also helped Shepard put together why she’s reacting to him the way she is.  Once again, they are in sync without realizing it, the dorks.  This song also contains numerous lines that fit the story nicely, such as talking about living arrangements, the battle of Troy (and isn’t that just the funniest view of Shepard’s infiltration of Palaven), and “feelings on fire”.

31. Anne of Green Gables - The Charlottetown Festival

“Anne of Green Gables, sweet and strange, / stay as you are today.”

Reading to Galena.  Oh, boy, here we go.  Get those tissues ready, it’s coming soon.  This simple song from the Anne of Green Gables musical doesn’t say much, but it has a sorrowful timbre that speaks of heartache to come.

32. I Think I Love You - The Partridge Family

“Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face”

Happy Anniversary!  In canon and most fanon, Garrus is slick as oil until comes to telling Shepard how he feels, and then he gets adorably pitiful and nervous.  While at this point in the story, Garrus himself is probably not ready to call it “love”, this anxiety-ridden song still captures that fragile state of mind.  Sadly, Garrus gets interrupted before he makes it as far as the singer does in his confession.

33. Galena - Kerri Sherwood

Galena’s passing.  Did you know there are a lot of songs called “Galena”?  But though I searched and searched--and quite a few of them were sad songs--none of them had the right words.  Because there aren’t any right words for this, are there?  And so, a solemn, sad instrumental piece describes Galena’s last day.

34. In My Arms - Plumb

“All I can do is hold you tight”

Garrus’ breakdown.  This song is from a mother who wants to protect her child from the harshness of the world.  But Garrus’ mother is gone, so Shepard has to sing it instead.  Growing up is hard, and the very last and hardest part of growing up for most people is losing your parents.  As a side note, the song starts by mentioning blue eyes--one of Garrus’ most notable features.

35. Calling All Angels - Jane Siberry, k.d. lang

"Don’t leave me alone"

The Vigil, part 1.  A song imploring various spirits and saints to help guide you through a trying time.  On Palaven, where they ask the Spirits’ help for everything, this would probably be especially appropriate.  Granted, this song gets used in A LOT of soundtracks, but that’s because it’s so perfect for when you’ve lost someone.  More than just loss, this song also says that you know life will go on... but those first steps afterwards are the hardest.  It’s like the MVP of movie funeral songs, and Galena deserves the best, dammit.

36. Hope Will Lead Us On - Barlow Girl

"Become the flame / That shows us the way"

The Vigil, part 2.  Shepard steps up wonderfully for the Vakarian family and helps them heal.  This song, sung almost from a sort of battle commander’s perspective, mixes strong, driving beats with inspiring statements… while still having an underlying piano refrain that is haunting and forlorn.  It doesn’t try to move past the pain, but rather keeps it as a foundation for a new beginning.

37. That’s How You Know - Amy Adams, from “Enchanted”

"It's not enough to take the one you love for granted"

Operation Two Turtle Doves.  Shepard’s getting ready to meddle with Solana’s love life.  So we have a cute song from a cute movie on that very topic.  I wish the pronouns were correct for a wlw relationship like in the story, but what can ya do.  The line “Don’t treat her like a mind reader” made me laugh, because… Keslia literally is one, being an asari and all.

38. Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Prestley

"Shall I stay?"

Kissing in the study.  One of my favorite parts of the story… a tired kiss that’s all about love and comfort rather than passion.  When Shepard and Garrus are both drained emotionally and physically from the Vigil, all that’s left is a quiet gravity that draws them together.  There are many versions of this song, but Elvis’ gentle crooning rendition is all about slow movements and tender questions.

39. Love Of My Life - Queen

“You don’t know what it means to me”

Singing to babies.  Shepard’s still singing Queen, so here is her next solo.  This is such a heartwarming scene, plus we get a bit of sibling slapstick for a laugh.  The funny part is that even though Shepard is the one singing this song to the babies, the lyrics are really describing what Garrus is feeling in this scene.  It works as a cute lullaby, in the way that lullabies often are kind of dark for some reason.

40. Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle

"When I feel alone, I reach for you / And you bring me home"

Going to Earth.  There Garrus goes again with the grand gestures.  Not just anybody can say they gave their partner the world.  As much as this Shepard likes Queen, I bet she also likes other 80’s classics like Belinda Carlisle.  This song represents Shepard’s response to Garrus’ gift.

41. Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys

“Everybody stands, as she goes by / Cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes”

Arriving at Earth.  This song is meant to be from Garrus’ perspective, seeing Shepard in her natural habitat, and is particularly inspired by the story’s description of Shepard being “swallowed by sunlight” as she leaves the ship...which would make her look like she was on fire.  It’s a song of admiration and wonder over the power of this one woman who stands out from everyone else.  P.S. Did anyone else imagine the spaceship was the Normandy, even though it wasn’t?  I did.

42. Wannabe - Spice Girls

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”

The Squad.  Ok, so this song is not serious at all, but Shepard’s squad are a bunch of goofballs anyway.  Although at this point Shepard probably wouldn’t tell Garrus goodbye if he bugged her like the song mentions, she does state that it means a lot to her that Garrus makes friends with her group.

43. Where Everybody Knows Your Name - Gary Portnoy

I initially added this song for Hudson’s, as it’s the theme song from the sitcom Cheers, which is all about this type of bar.  HOWEVER, there are verses in the full song that you never hear in the tv show, including one that’s a bit of toxic masculinity bordering on transphobia.  So, this song can just go in the trash where it belongs.

43. Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

“Home is wherever I’m with you”

The broken nose.  Shepard’s gotten another reminder that she doesn’t quite belong on Earth anymore… but that ends up being okay, because Garrus is her home now.  This fun duet talks about how even if you travel and have a variety of experiences, you can find that the person you shared it with is what’s really important.  This is in direct contrast to the song of the same name earlier in the playlist, which talked about needing Home to be an actual place.  In the middle of the song is a spoken-word section about the man realizing he’s in love with the woman only when she gets injured… which is so Shepard and Garrus it’s funny.  I thought for a long time that the woman’s name in the song was “Jane,” which would have made an even better fit, but it turns out it’s “Jade”.  Ah well.

44. Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty - Chris & Pui

“Purr, purr, purr”

Mr. Biscuits.  A children’s lullaby about cats napping and purring.  The main verse mentions London, which is just a coincidence as a significant location for canon Shepard & Garrus. But really I just wanted a song that Shepard could tease Garrus with.

45. I Want To Break Free - Queen

“I've fallen in love for the first time / And this time I know it's for real”

Operation I Want To Break Free.  Another of Shepard’s Queen-inspired choices that of course had to be on the soundtrack.  This rock anthem has several elements that apply to the story, including falling in love in a strange circumstance, and trying to escape from an oppressive situation.  The song is not necessarily addressed to the singer’s lover though, so the “you” referenced is more likely the outside oppressor.  As Shepard is planning this operation without Garrus’ help, it would make sense that this not song is speaking to him directly.

46. Aurora Borealis - Bohnes

“I saw with my own eyes something beautiful”

Seton Lake:  Garrus’ view.  This location actually exists in real life and is worth googling an image of!  This breathy ballad is an ode to love that is as sublime and ineffable as the northern lights.  With lyrics that talk about stellar phenomena and our place in the universe, it’s especially poignant for lovers from different planets.  The line about “a beautiful coincidence that causes love” also fits pretty well, since the arranged marriage turning to love was all unplanned.  There’s also a line, “the world inside your eyes is more than black and white to me,” and one of Garrus’ most famous lines in canon is about how he’s unsure how to operate outside of black and white morality… but as it turns out, when it’s Shepard, he’s okay with it.

47. I Choose You - Sara Bareilles

“I believe in something again”

The Mark.  While this chapter is explicit, it’s also really charming, humorous, and emotional.  So this light and breezy song about choice and beginnings fits well as Shepard’s perspective.  This story is largely about Shepard having her autonomy taken from her, with the course of her entire life decided by others.  But when she is finally in a position to do something about it--and when Garrus even offers her an out--she chooses him.  The song mentions outside influences trying to convince the singer that her love is impossible or wrong, which is again something that Shepard has had to deal with.  But Shepard now willingly accepts the mark from Garrus that she once rejected… As the song says, the mark is a visible symbol that will “Tell the world that we finally got it all right”.  The line “I will become yours and you will become mine” sounds like a wedding vow, which seems especially appropriate.

[TO BE CONTINUED]