#brihamut's mercy
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The Anatomy of Dion's Brain
listened to the battle of belanus tor song on repeat otw to work. had a vision. the brain doesnt work very well
i made another one for the light i hear dion
#the part where hes in the drg camp and the music gets slow.#it sounds like boots marching and i felt insane#i dont want to hype up the evil void but i hope i do the evil void justice next chapter#its only appeared once so far in ch 2. the silhouette of a dead man was between those truths etc.#anyway i apologize to terence he doesnt deserve this libel but dion does bc i think hes funny#ffxiv#dion lesage#brihamut's mercy#the light i hear#im sure im missing something but i made this at work lol#THE EVIL VOID IS COMPLETE LACK OF CONFRONTATION. LESS FOUL PLAY MORE HE WILL MELT INTO THE GROUND IF HE THINKS ABT IT
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its been said before but that wish u were my master/ill be ur servant exchange is so insane. i wish i could listen and obey your worries abt bahamut but the empire comes first. i wish i didnt have exorbitant power over you and that i could prioritize your needs. if i wasnt forced to make the decisions that hurt you and i, maybe I would let myself fail practicality once. nothing can change outside of this moment.
versus and this is how i remain close to you and how i can still help you. i gave up my own military prospects to be here. this is the only thing i can say to make u feel like this societal arrangement is okay. you will not change me or get rid of me under some notion of fairness. i wont challenge your orders, even if theyre misguided, but ill ensure they succeed. what the fuck
#they couldve been great and powerful and tyrannical but instead they pretend that they can be kind#and theyre kind in the most cruel ways#im eating woodchips.#jodh n dem said this but oh my GOD terence is nothing. he is everything#brihamut's mercy
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it took me way too long to frame this but ty @driftwoodwolf for ur lovely print!! so happy its finally on my wall ✨️
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dion nose scrunch to remind me why im alive
#stewart clark thank u for ur service#the way charas in this game actually look angry. show stopping#also the lance tap#brihamut's mercy
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i feel like no matter how hard i clown on dion, i can never slander the integrity of his character with the hilarious efficiency of stewart clarke. thank u greagor for giving one of the strongest memelords on the planet the chance to voice an uptight violent knight that makes all the wrong decisions and needs to be brought down several pegs. terence sing im just ken again for me please
#if dion lesage watched the barbie movie he would get so indignant and crusadey abt defending women and he would prob overstep his bounds#in like two seconds. so repectful its misogynistic etc.#kihel slurping a smoothie made of all organic never frozen raspberries and fresh cream:#hey ter is there some reason dion gave this to me and said that the world is in my power to shape for clearer twilights and brighter dawns#terence: how man times did he listen to closer to fine yesterday.#brihamut's mercy
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⚜️ The Light I Hear.
Chapter I. 6,123 words. Major spoilers for FFXVI.
Dion returns to Oriflamme bereft of Bahamut, his right arm, and assured purpose. Through grief and recovery, he finds his way with Terence and Kihel.
Read on Ao3.
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#hi my brain has been consumed w this ever since i beat the game#i like them.#im also like. rly nervous bc i havent done smth like this before#but i am!!! doing my best and im also having fun#ffxvi#ffxvi spoilers#dion lesage#brihamut's mercy#the light i hear
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do u ever remember how it felt when they added the internal thoughts to ffxvi and it gave us a final terence update bc i.
#you will find a girl there / A GIRL?#when i first saw that scene part of me was like. oh my fucking GOD he didnt tell ter.#and then i changed my opinion to ter being like oh my fucking GOD youre not doing this rn#but can u imagine. ter gets there and shes like. yeah hes a wreck. he didnt tell u abt how we met? bc he was a wreck?#terence about to dunk his head in the river and scream: oh truly? :)#i want them to bond over how dumb dion is#kihel: yeah im not surprised he didnt know my name. i told him but then he interrupted me to go on abt poison fruit in the wine of kings#ter: hang on i kno i just got here but i need to have a conversation w a priest rq before i do smth that challenges dions buffoonery#brihamut's mercy
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🌙 a teredio playlist
also i totally grabbed those words in the edit from meditation by richard aldington go read his poem here.
anyway. some selected Thoughts:
canta per me - Yuki Kajiura
The life of the love beloved in my heart oh be happy, you, my soul sing farewell
strong voice and strong violin. it has a proud tone even through what it asks, but it's also asking bc it won't say goodbye itself.
Before We Drift Away - Nothing but Thieves
And as we sing this familiar song I thought I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone Will it flow into the river Or will it go to waste?
the uncertainty that separation/death is going to happen but with no idea how or when. use of the ocean bc sanbrequois shoreline but also the funerial river in twinside
Free If We Want It - Nothing but Thieves
I walk beside myself To see what's left Of you and me And what it means If it goes wrong (don't look back) At least it was real
reflection on a past that feels meaningless but still had a loved one in it. having the ability to move on but also the choice to continue as things are. but mostly just let that shit go and keep going
see also: stand by me - florence + the machine / tsuki o miteita - kenshi yonezu / let the starts fall down - yuki kajiura / walking the wire - imagine dragons / dance me to the end of love - douglas dare
---DION
Pianissimo - Agent Fresco
Could this be All there is Will this shame have a name Only for this night Calm me for this night Oh this shame has a name
dread, uncertainty, danger, desperation. shame is the name of the love that doesn't speak. relying on smth once and then needing it again and again.
Pyre - Agent Fresco
We both belong to longings of past Can you see the pyre below? We both belong to longings of wrath Can you feel the fire grow? Loneliness has only shown me I can't let you go
pairs w pianissimo. the expectation of punishment and the tone of danger. having no time and finding extensions of smth by carrying it in the body, even if it hurts or it's haunting.
IL DONO DELLA VITA - Måneskin
The sound of your ugly laughter Has opened the way for me to the right path I breathe in clean air And I let it kill me But my heart still beats A light that rips through the ground
defying the ppl who are guiding you by doing what they want and not being destroyed by it. part of me thinks this one is a bit too self aware for dion tho LOL
Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths
Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Today, of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above Ah, it's more courageous to overcome
i mean. achilles. convincing someone who did great things that they're worthy of more than nothing and death. the length and how many pleas it takes to finish, but achilles' choice is still left unanswered.
also see: the dragon sups - takeharu ishimoto / too much is never enough - florence + the machine / never let me go - florence + the machine / rest up, ignis - yasunori mitsuda / wait for me - agent fresco
---Terence
The Driver - Måneskin
Bare your soul 'till it's naked Bite my lip 'till you break it If you're gonna set fire to the night Baby, let me be the lighter If there's nowhere to go when you wanna go wild I wanna be the driver
enabler terence!!! also lot of feelings abt power. speaker is ordering the subject to rule over them. the subject is the one doing things, but the speaker is a necessary part to all of them. a driver is in charge of the vehicle but not the destination
De Selby (Part 2) - Hozier
What you live in Darling, it finds a way to live in you I wanna run against the world that's turning Let all time slow, let all light go I wanna kill the lights
aka 'terence doesnt actually show any resentment for bahamut for cursing dion into this bs life but for the next 3 minutes 47 seconds he does.' and hes gonna go against the world if dion wants it done
I, Carrion - Hozier
I do not have wings, love, I never will Soarin' over a world you are carryin' If these heights should bring my fall Let me be your own If I should fall, on that day I only pray, don't fall away from me
laughs in dragoons in the sky and bolting straight back down to earth. also bahamut holding the earth. also god this is so saccharine i almost hate it
also see: lover, please stay - nothing but thieves / ghastly medley acoustic - masashi hamauzu / shield of the king - keiichi okabe / the battle is to the strong - kajiura yuki / francesca - hozier / umi to sanshouu - kenshi yonezu / keep me in the open - gang of youths
also terence & kihel tagteam times are the beginning - one ok rock / blood upon the snow - hozier / lost in the snow - yoshitaka suzuki / tendou-sama is smiling - KOKIA / my hands - leona lewis
#dion lesage#ffxvi#OFFERS THIS INSTEAD OF WRITING#behold. my repetitive music takes.#honestly almost every playlist i ever encounter makes me feel like im chewing gravel#so Judge My Taste At Your Peril bc its prob not great KJHSDFJKSHDF#i listen to this on my commute#when i tell myself im going to write in my head#and instead i just shriek along w florence welch#AND WHO CAAAAARES IF IM COMING ALIIIIVE#brihamut's mercy
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🌊 the waves now loose
9,031 words. NSFW.
Dion needed to find control. Terence needed to lose it. In a Sanbrequios ship stranded on the water, a prince tries to be a man.
Read on Ao3.
#DION BOAT FIC. FINALLY.#i gave up editing it bc i cant look at it anymore so u hope its ok#smacks the bulwark. this ship can fit so many internalized insecurities in it.#95% if those are dion's#ffxvi#dion lesage#brihamut's mercy
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anyway thinking abt homophobia in valisthea
which means thinking abt sex-related misogyny in valisthea. bc imo there is way too much sexual violence against women and focus on women as sexual figures w sexual drama in this game for it to not bleed over into how it feels abt two men kissing (not gonna go into a lesbian reading bc it exits my scope)
like. anabella only being a vessel for children, benedikta using sex to control titan/feel loved by barny but also being threatened w rape twice(?) by men, jill awakening shiva when she's almost raped by a man + other rosarian girls are raped, the constant winkwink sexy references w isabella, the offscreen women moaning in the oriflamme brothel, sylvester killing his wife n mistress after they outlived any sexual service to him, barny's mom referenced in an easily interpretable sexual manner, etc etc
simultaneously the narrative does its best to present the veil as a morally neutral institution w benefits to the function of northreach. the discussion between the male sex worker and the male guard was deliberately placed, too, and gives an interesting view into affection and money. theres a couple more men in veil garb that arent presented as out of place.
which is all failed by rest of the worldbuilding imo. only male customers visit the veil. sex is still regarded as a sneaky taboo subject. every country has a male monarch and occupations are firmly divided by gender. the primary hinge of benedikta's relationship w hugo is the fact that hugo feels in charge, which helps culturally ascribe dominance as a masculine trait.
if women are so widely regarded as unequal on sexual terms (and, relatedly, on societal terms), certain expectations must also exist on the male side.
we dont really see much tension in the male characters performing masculinity--other than the huge unnatural vibes sleipnir gives off by mincing around--but we do see barny kneel before ultima in a rly sexually charged scene. his subservience is presented as an unexpected weak facet of his character, where he's desperate and obliging and uncertain. it's a private scene that works off its own uncanniness, so it functions a little bit more as a narrative piece than a societal mirror. but I don't think that removes it from the discussion, and i think its odd character is a stark contrast to the clarity we're given in dion and terence's kiss scene.
a sort of clarity, i guess. dion and terence talk abt power dynamics in class instead of sexual role or gender. there's still the words 'master' and 'servant' pinned on the wall w like 3 different undertones, so its easy to unravel that into different understandings of their relationship to class, duty, and romantic/sexual identity. i dont think its productive to split hairs abt who tops, but i think its reasonable to interpret that they feel secure in w/e service they give to the other. this is in spite of the societal understanding that dominance is inherently masculine and correct, and that subservience is feminine and not as acceptable.
i know enough abt queer history to know that the security & fulfillment i interpret them as having is simultaneously as rare as it is common depending on where you look. no matter what one does in the private sphere, the public view will influence it, and it's determined by the case who will feel negatively or positively abt themselves bc of it.
ultimately i see valisthea in the respect of a society that views queerness as undesirable but not smth ur gonna be burned at the stake for. im also fully operating under my own preference for queer narratives that labor under external & internal homophobic conflicts. it's fully supportable to decide that valisthea lacks homophobia as well, and its not less like wish fulfillment to have it that way or the other.
#this is all to say that while i see and acknowledge the 'security' i describe in teredio#that im ripping it away from terence HGTGDGJGTHJYGRHVFG#SORRYYYYYYY i want him to think abt being an invert when society is not built for that lol#brihamut's mercy
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does anyone else think abt how dions theme is not ascension but heal and then [LONG SUFFERING SCREAM]
#this is my own fault bc my playlist of ffxvi dion songs goes#heal and then straight into will of the goddess.#im pulling my teeth out on the daily for facets of rage#hes anger and righteousness and pride#and then theyre like. actually guess whats here at the core#horrific debilitating sorrow.#PUNCHES MY PHONE#brihamut's mercy
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made these today by cutting up some fake lilies, painting the stamens and plastic supports (ripped from the petals) green, and dyeing one with purple water color ☺️ i also ripped some petals from fake wisteria for the inner petals. i love how they turned out!!
#they were rly fun to make#i need to hot glue the base#so the wisteria petals stay#and the stamen on the purple flower needs to be reattached#brihamut's mercy
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im sooooo sane and normal <- girl listening to ascension again
#the slavers begging a goddess to strike their chains free....#koji fox i am tearing my hair out of my head ON WINGS OF AN ANGEL FORSAKEN--#brihamut's mercy
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i wanna make wyvern tails to stuff in a basket and hand out in my aerith cosplay at upcoming ff events (new world nyc & ffviir2 orlando)!! but i do not have the budget to make a bunch of flowers like the one on the right ($7 each vs $.60 each).
i still need to add the lil petals in the center, then i wanna paint the anthers yellow + add leaves. its easier now that i don't have to paint the stamens and i rly like that they have posable stems!
#probs go to michaels tmrw and get another wisteria to pluck#for the lil petals#plus smth for leaves bc i have some plant material around the house#but idk if its enough#brianna babbles#brihamut's mercy#also when am i gonna stop spelling tail like tale
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⚜️ The Light I Hear.
Chapter II. 14,304 words. Major spoilers for FFXVI.
Oriflamme looms like a mausoleum. After reuniting with Terence and Kihel, Dion travels with them across the Royal Meadows and finds peace elusive with every step.
Read on Ao3.
#today on: babysitting a 35yo war hero is SOOO much worse than a 12yo girl#someone plz give terence a raise#i dont get to go into his emotions here but that man is so tired lmao#so instead i present: dion is a mess. he will continue to be a mess.#ffxvi#dion lesage#ffxvi spoilers#brihamut's mercy#the light i hear
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when dion said "then mayhap they are the wrong men"
700 people died 3972 injured 1 simultaneous combustion riots in the street the center cannot hold and the ocean parted. im inconsolable
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