#brick whartley's crab emporium

[shwarmii]

**if** this is related to the Tumblr Reduced Staff nonsense (and i assume it is), @emporium, this is amongst my least favorite parts to say the least. i loved your guys' creativity and the products i got 💔 to everybody who has been interested in shopping here: i hope y'all got your shoelaces, tumblers, tea-lites, and/or other stuff you may have wanted :(

[meetinginsamarra]

LOL, I just saw this on my dash and - call me late, I don’t care - discovered a whole new level of tumblr insanity!!

Take Me to Your Blorbo Bumper Sticker • $3.00

With this sticker on your car you won’t even need to lock it. People will stay away out of fear of catching whatever you have. You’re Welcome.

9.25″ x 2.5″ Polypropylene Sticker

Matte Finish

About the Artist

This design was created by Justin Carlson. When not helping us make fun products for the tumblr shop you can find him do collaborative drawing projects on Instagram.

[its-the-ratdawg]

Y’all look what Tumblr gave me

[girlfcker]

what is this and why do i suddenly love this silly ass fucking crab

[brickwhartley]

Dear People of Tumblr,

I don’t know if you heard the news when it dropped, but I left the sunny island of Clawland in the rearview mirror a few months ago and stepped into a role back here at Tumblr as Chief Officer of Merchandising and Physical Engineering. I’ve been sharing my wares over at my Emporium, and more importantly, you’ve been buying! 

Things have been going so darn well that last night, I had plenty of time to reflect on how far I’ve come. No blockers in my way, KPIs going through the roof, everyone happy with their new mugs and pins and tshirts, and me at the head of it all… everything’s coming up Brick, right? 

But one thing about merchandising is, well, it’s fun, and creative… but there isn’t much clicking. Brick Misses Clicks! 

I thought about how dang popular my little crabby friends were on the dashboard when I was away. Spawning like crazy! There’s no denying it: you kids love those crabs. You’re even spending cold hard cash sending them to each other. 

So, the question was: how to combine that kind of clicktastic feature you know and love, with something new? Something FRESH? 

And then, it hit me!

🦀🐛🧀👻🐴🍪!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I hereby announce that I’m taking temporary leave of my position at the Emporium in order to jump teams and become Tumblr’s Chief Reactions Officer. 

Beginning today, you’ll be able to SLAM those react buttons at the bottom of every Tumblr post to express your emotions. On the web at least. Not in the mobile apps. (I’m a budget whiz, but not that much of a whiz.)

And listen, this is short notice. I haven’t slept all night, putting this together, ever since the idea struck me while stargazing and reflecting on my life and choices. So the actual reactions available to use are limited for now. They were actually just the most recently used emojis in my phone.

But I just know you’ll love them anyway. Because they come from me, BRICK! 

Yours clickfully, 

Brick Whartley Chief Reactions Officer Chief Officer of Merchandising and Physical Engineering (On Leave)

[notpikaman]

Wait, what?

Charging for access to APIs? Not on our watch.

Tumblr will always offer free access to our APIs of all kinds. No matter if the APIs are in the water, out of the water, and even half in and out of the water. Adorable Platypus Images are a cornerstone of the internet. It's a mammalian right to gaze upon these billed wonders.

Tumblr won't stop at total access to Adorable Platypus Images. Not only are we highlighting the entire Platypus community on Tumblr, we also hear Brick Whartley’s Crab Emporium (@emporium) may be dropping an entire line of Platypus goods...if that's what the people want.

[todayontumblr]

Wednesday, August 16.

Do you like knick-knacks?

We're afraid to say it's shameless self-promotion.

Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. Come get your bits and pieces. Bits and pieces, pits and bieces. Gome cet your pits and bieces. Wait, what now? 

You'll have to excuse us this momentary lapse into a nonsensical diatribe. It seems, however, that we are simply unable to contain our delight at this ~glossy~ new range of bits and pieces. Made with 100% love. And made exclusively for that most discerning of clientele over at Tumblr Shop (otherwise known as Brick Whartley's Crab Emporium) who know better than anyone where to peruse the very finest quality pits and bieces; the crème de la crème of knicks and knacks, if you will.

Fancy-schmancy wall art? A T Party blanket? A sticker in liminal, yet soothing, shades? A shoelaces bumper sticker? A t-shirt with a d*mn crab's claw on it? It's all here, and then some.   

[mystery-of-arkham-asylum]

Decided to do some cross stitch but I didn't know what to stitch. I did something and I think it came out well. I made Brick Whartley and some of his friends from the crab @emporium.

May attach it to my jacket. See if anyone gets it.

Hope you enjoy it.

[dognightmare4]

@emporium i collect plushies and would like a tumblr plush. heres my ideas, ranked by how likely i’d be to buy them:

Brick Whartley and/or Pikaman chibi plush(ies) (maybe makeship or youtooz?) (bonus points if they have magnets in their hands so they can hold hands) (idk how that would work out regarding copyright but yknow. if you cant include pikaman id be alright with just brick) 

Small crab bean bag plush (in the usual style of Tumblr crabs)

Bigger crab plush (similar to the one in the Autographed Brick Whartley image)

Tumby plush

Tumbeast plush

Post-plinko horse plush

Default icon plush

Coppy plush (he already has a figure so eh)

Thank you for your consideration. 

[2angel7may8]

...who's brick whartley and why is this their crab emporium??

[emporium]

Thank you so much for supporting Brick Whartley’s Crab Emporium.

Succumbed to the lure of the tumblr @emporium ! I love the texture of the journal, kind of a soft matte, and the tumbl(e)r is similar! The journal also lay flat with some convincing, and the pages are perforated for easy tearing out.

[emporium]

Avatars for You from Brick & Crab Council

This community is so nice to me and the crabs, thank you. I really want to make things that everyone can enjoy so I had the idea of taking all the cool designs we've been putting on physical goods and make them into "digital" products. Today, it's in the form of avatars.

Now, they are free to use but I do have a favor I'd like to ask. If you use any of the above avatars please Like, Follow or Reblog something today. It doesn't have to be on the Emporium, can be any blog on Tumblr. Connection with other Tumblr folks is super important. It's why we are all here and I want to do my part to encourage people to find folks to share their passions with.

P.S. I wasn't sure the best way to get these out into the world so I just decided to make a post and see what happens.

P.P.S. You can learn more about the crabs here --> https://www.tumblr.com/emporium/707639512935825408/meet-brick-whartley-our-tumblr-marketing-genius

P.P.P.S. The two crabs who look like they celebrate 4/20 year round are named Beech & Wrong.

[emporium]

🌴 Emporium Summer Sale 🌴

Brick is going on vacation so the shop will be closed from July 10th - July 17th. During his absence the crabs are taking the opportunity to get rid of some slow selling products. It's your last chance to get any of these products before they are gone forever.

Sale is Over. Thanks to Everyone who purchased something.

Products we are saying goodbye to:

Take Me to Your Blorbo Bumper Sticker -> $3.00 $2.00

T Party Bumper Sticker -> $3.00 $2.00

Jumbled Tumblr Tumbler -> $20.00 $18.00

Internet Love Tumbler -> $20.00 $18.00

Autographed Brick Whartley 8×10 Photo -> $5.00 $2.00

Tumblr Mission Statement 11×17 Poster -> $10.00 $8.00

Tumblr Nostalgia 22oz Tumbler -> $25.00 $22.00

Tumblr Museum 11×17 Posters -> $10.00 $8.00

Tumblr Black Sweatpants -> $55.00 $25.00

Tumblworms Pin Set -> $6.00 $3.00

Shipper Society Woven Patch -> $6.00 $3.00

Default Avatar PopGrip -> $10.00 $8.00

Pizza Slice Sweatshirt -> $45.00 $15.00

Glitch Logo Sweatshirt -> $45.00 $15.00

Friendly Alien T-Shirt -> $35.00 $5.00

Pizza Slice T-Shirt -> $35.00 $5.00

[urlocallesbiab]

[Image Description:

A cropped screenshot of Tumblr that shows only a banner ad. The ad is made to look like a piece of cardboard with uneven edges taped to a wall, with the words "Brick Whartley's Crab Emporium" and a doodle of a smiley crab drawn on it in black marker.

/end ID]

oh yeah I’m a huge fan of that one show with elijah wood and samuel barnett about the connections and the universe and stuff

you know… uhhh (reading incredibly smudged writing off my hand)

[emporium]

Brick Whartley: Escape From Clawland

After his short-lived stint as Chief Officer of Viral Marketing and Exponential Growth in April, Brick Whartley spent the last nine months banished relaxing on a remote, unnamed desert island 🏝️. 

But one thing about Brick, a career Businessman, is that he found it difficult to relax for long. His brain bubbled over with concepts and pitches and decks and strategies for Maximizing Engagement: he just couldn’t help it! He had ants in his pants and they were saying CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! 

So he gave in to the call of the business plan. 

First it started with a branding exercise: the island needed a name, didn’t it? He called it Carcinopolis, and, with the help of his crab buddies, began designing a brand identity. Unfortunately this brand identity was a total failure as people thought going to the island would give you cancer. But a nimble pivot to an alternative name—Clawland—saw the island make a big impact in the tourism industry, with people coming from all over to dance and party with the energetic inhabitants. 

Tanned and trustable, Brick’s cachet soared, and he moved quickly onto his next project. The problem was that the tourists coming to visit the crabs left when the sun rose, having danced themselves tired. Sure, they had already paid the fare to get onto the island, but as Brick saw them shuffle exhausted down the dock to the boat, his intuition said that there was another Engagement opportunity he was missing in the morning light. 

Then he saw a tourist scoop up a shell from the shore and put it in his pocket as he staggered away. Hey! Brick thought. You should be paying for that! 

And thus, Brick’s Crab Emporium was born. Crab and beach-themed merch for every taste: crab earrings, shell ties, palm tree tees. His operation, staffed entirely by diligent crabs 🦀, began churning out products by the hundred. 

Brick efficiently trained his employees to act as product managers, printers, and salescrabs. The Emporium was so successful that at a certain point it began running itself, and Brick once again grew bored. He wanted to expand once more beyond the bounds of his island. 

True, every time he had tried, he had failed… but as he gazed out over the horizon, he felt the call of Tumblr once more. The dashboard would never truly leave him. 

He took out his shellphone 🐚 and speed-dialed his secret but loyal connection on the inside. “Hey, buddy!” he said. “Listen, I’ve got a business proposal for you. Have you ever thought about taking your merch operation to the big-time? My man, I’ll cut you a deal: you bring me on as Chief Officer of Merchandising and Physical Object Engineering, and I’ll ship out a fleet of my elite craftscrabs and mailcrabs to help cut and glue and ship it all out 📦. At no additional cost! Now whaddya say to that??????���

[emporium]

🦀 WE THE CREEPLE (CRAB PEOPLE) 🦀 

Do hereby declare That we have successfully been recognized as CRAB UNION LOCAL 413  By our boss BRICK WHARTLEY

And Roberd has been fired, permanently, and then fired again for good measure

USE CODE BRICKSBACK FOR 10% OFF ON THE EMPORIUM TO CELEBRATE BRICK'S RETURN

Continue help spread the word of the

#CRABUNION

as we go back to business as usual here

— The Winning Bargaining Crabmittee

Crink, Ibble, Pree, Smorp, Thisp