#brian especially embodies this really subdued but terrifying cruelty

[goldlightsaber]

in a way kendall is his best at his lowest because he actually sees the world in stark clarity, he sees the evil and disaster of the things around him, but it's just too much to bear and impossible to cope with so he either falls into a deeper depression, finds another high, or convinces himself he needs to take over again. he can't escape the cycle because there is no safety net when he experiences a moment of conscience or clarity or "honesty." the closest he comes to it is at the end of season 3 when his siblings are there to sort of hold him up after logan has torn him down, re: the confession moment. then logan dies and it all falls apart, he's sucked into that mental loop again. but there are moments, brief but potent, where he clearly wants to escape ("let me out," he says, but logan says, "maybe i want you close" -- because he's kicked kendall enough and now he's all too pleased to have him crawl back). he begs logan to be freed and his father won't afford him that mercy. all logan had to do was say, "okay, son. be free. just go." but no -- that would've been too generous. and that's the cruelest punishment of all