#bread crumb bridge will be epic

[probablyaseamonster]

Who else can’t wait until Everen inevitably makes a Limited Life animatic?

[monicalorandavis]

I was an intern at Comedy Central and it mostly sucked

File this under the category of “Who Cares?”

Everybody knows interns (at basically every company) are treated like shit.  They are used strictly for running errands and little else. It was likely that a TV network should follow suit. To no one’s surprise, Comedy Central treated interns like shit. I was. The interns around me were. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. I had so little work experience and I was so grateful for the opportunity that I figured it was part of the process of getting to where you wanted to be. It wasn’t until I ran into Joe, an assistant (who had particularly made my life hell) at a party a few years later that I even thought about how mean he had been to me. I wanted to let it go. But he had been really fucking mean and it stung to think about. He wasn’t alone. It was actually a whole group of assistants who I’d felt had humiliated me. I remember going to lunch at the same time the assistants were leaving for lunch. They caught the elevator and I had asked to join, trailing just a step behind them. Joe barked “No”, closed the elevator doors in my face and I heard them all laughing at me on the way down. I stared at the closed doors, shocked. Never in my life had I been treated like such a loser. I was in a fucking teen movie being bullied by complete pricks. And the worst part was, these people were definitely the kids who’d been bullied.

I caught the next elevator and when I arrived on the ground level, they were waiting for me. They didn’t say anything. They looked guilty like they’d realized they’d been mean to an intern who would likely say something to someone in HR and decided to extend me the kindness of waiting for me. Only I didn’t want them to wait for me and I would never say anything. Unlike them, I didn’t like making people feel like shit. We walked to get salads in silence. They resumed their conversation but I paid and left before them. It was so weird after that. For like a day. And then, it started all over again.

There were exceptions during that time and I would like to name them and give them all their credit. Tony, one of the early writer/producers of Workaholics (a gig he got during my time there), was fabulously kind to me. He never made me feel lame or stupid and I was sad to see him go even though I knew writing was his goal. Walter was nice. Gary was nice. Seth. But I have forgotten many people’s names and you’ll forgive me as this was almost a decade ago. That time exists in a haze. I was living downtown with two of my girlfriends in a loft apartment that didn’t have walls. I had no bedroom. Just an upstairs “room” with a bathroom with a toilet but no shower. I paid $500 a month for a glorified port-a-potty and thus, acted like a degenerate. Every night, I either smoked weed until I fell asleep or scoured the streets for a cute boy to spend the night with. It was during that time that I was lucky enough to get an internship at a company that could change the course of my life - Comedy Central. It was a gift to work there and I knew it. I didn’t have any Hollywood connections.This was it. I would take it seriously, I promised myself. So, I did.

Comedy Central used to be the mecca. Before Tosh.0 and Jim Jefferies, it was the home of Chappelle’s Show. I am not exaggerating when I tell you this: that show changed the whole goddamn world and I was no exception. it changed me. It was the blueprint. Comedy could be brutal on white people. It could get real and gross and political and stupid all at the same time. Comedy nerds like me ate it up.

Dave Chappelle’s two season masterpiece of a show infected college campuses in 2004 when it was released on DVD. That was the year I started college. By happenstance, I was part of the DVD revolution. We would crowd into each other’s dorm rooms and cry laughing and then watch the same episode again. It caught fire. Dave Chappelle bridged the gap between black and white, famous and normal while still keeping himself removed from the whole thing, aloof - distinguished...better than us. His skewering of racism was a glass through which we could see in fact, we were all participants in the same system albeit on other sides. 

So, Chappelle’s Show was important to me. I wanted to work at a place that had created art. I would try to shine there and let my own ideas blossom into projects.

But in spite of my eagerness, I was aware at the time (as we all were) that Comedy Central had paid Dave Chappelle $50 million for a third season but instead of delivering, he walked off set and fled to Africa. This was the story we were told. This was before Twitter and Instagram. The internet swirled with rumors that he had gone crazy and was going to live in Africa forever. He had abandoned Hollywood for good.

But the whole thing stank of racism, buried just underneath the surface. Why was Chappelle suddenly crazy when he didn’t want a huge sum of money? Yes, that’s a huge sum of money but deep down I thought, those people are trying to exploit him. Intuitively I felt like Chappelle knew he was part of a bigger racial-bridging that was allowing white people access to private areas of black culture. He had invited fans to shout famous lines back at him. Lines that Chappelle himself and other black actors had killed with. But, lines that white fans should never say. They were insensitive to the privilege shared by black people to communicate to other black people. White people want to say the n-word and it’s not theirs to say. It’s a truth other black comedians have shared.

When Chris Rock was caught in conversations with racists who relayed his “niggers versus black people” bit back to him he retired it permanently. The price of being an honest black comedian in this country is that white people can retell your insider information as intel. White people who would otherwise have no interaction with black people now has an arsenal of information. They have evidence that was not acquired through firsthand experience. They have heard the inner monologue of black America and instead of fixing racial injustice, they are repeating their favorite lines. And in spite of all of that, in spite of all the drama between Comedy Central and Dave Chappelle, in spite of the racial implications the media had thrown around, I got a job as an intern in hopes just being in the same office that created Chappelle’s Show could imbue me with some genius or good fortune.

It didn’t.

It was whack. There were like 40 of us on a rotating schedule where three of us would work certain days together and then another three would work another group of days and sometimes you would see other interns on your day because they couldn’t come in on their regular day. Since there were so many interns doing the work that one capable assistant could perform we were all basically twiddling our thumbs, trying to look useful and eager. Some interns dazzled executives with their epic notes on scripts, replete with a solid three act structure and relevant examples, figures, marketing suggestions. Others buried their noses up anyone’s ass who lingered near them long enough, offering to get coffee, lunch, snacks, dry cleaning, children from daycare, gifts for spouses, you name it. I employed none of these strategies. I scoped the most eligible bachelors and tried to dazzle them with my charms. The married ones would have been the smarter bet. Married men are more willing to go out on a limb for a cute, inexperienced graduate with a lot to prove. They won’t cheat but they like feeling important to women still so they’ll toss around bread crumbs. The single ones are still so obsessed with themselves that they can’t see far enough past their noses to help. I was vying for the attention of one executive I was sure would marry me, given I had enough alone time with him in the kitchen, when I learned he was getting engaged. It was devastating. Of course I would choose to be in love with someone just about to propose.

It dawned on me that marrying your way into the entertainment business was sort of gross and I was at Comedy Central to make a name for myself. Meaning, I should make it for myself. Not rely on somebody else giving me a handout. I had to go out and earn my job. Unfortunately, it seemed that only a few at Comedy Central had actually earned their job from sheer hard work. Most people had arrived there from a combination of knowing someone and favors and white privilege that is the winningest cocktail of all time. But, even they didn’t really like their jobs. It made no sense. The ones with the worst attitudes, who were the most lazy, cranky, emotionally unhinged seemed to know the most people. And they hated everything and everyone.

Below them, were us, the interns. And to my chagrin, I’d been wasting entire weeks of time pining over some man who’d hardly noticed me while these nerds were working their asses off. I was light years behind and frankly, unwilling to break my back for a job that didn’t seem like it would ever come my way. I was this sore thumb. I felt like a step sister and everyone else was The Brady Bunch. Primarily, I looked very different than everyone there. I wore ripped jeans and had tattoos and listened to hip hop. Wearing hoop earrings to work basically identified me as a member of the Crips. These people were so white and goofy that the only person of color they’d managed to hire had gone to private school their entire lives.

This sounds bratty already and I swear to God, I am not an ungrateful asshole. I am writing this to say that the experience crushed me a little bit. I left the internship at the end of the summer with no interest in staying in touch with anyone. With the exception of running into Joe at a party, I’ve run into one girl, Sarah, at my exercise class. I reveled when she feigned confusion when I asked if she’d remembered me from Comedy Central three years prior. I thought to myself, “I’m about to ruin this bitch’s day” and I’d like to think that her trembling, noodle-like legs during my class were some karmic retribution for her unkindness.

Besides that, I have no ill feelings towards anyone presently. To be fair, the assistants were only a year or two older than me at the time and wielding an unnatural amount of power. They did not handle power well. Not many do.

[pedrowells24-blog]

The Dark Tower's Really Dumb Plan For A Cinematic Universe

The long-awaited big-screen adaption of Stephen King's epic The Dark Tower series is coming out this week, and I couldn't be more confused. It's important that you understand that I'm not shitting on the trailer. I think it's ultra cool, and it makes me want to go out and get into a futuristic cowboy fight. I'm just having a really hard time making sense of well, just watch the trailer so that you can be confused too:

So a cowboy who can load his gun very well and his child sidekick who presumably cannot have to stop Matthew McConaughey from something something the Dark Tower? It all seems like a bunch of words pulled out of a cowboy hat were turned into a trailer, with no one ever realizing they had to make a whole movie. It doesn't do a great job of actually getting across the movie it's selling - and what it's selling is an epic tale about the tragedy of modern Hollywood's over-reliance on preexisting franchises with enormous expanded universes that can be mined endlessly for material.

The weirdness of The Dark Tower begins with the fact that it isn't an adaptation of any of the books in the series it's based on. It's a sequel to the books. Eight books, to be more precise. See, The Dark Tower is an epic fantasy-horror series, published between 1982 and 2002, that tells a mythical and philosophical tale that somehow manages to be the connective tissue between over a dozen of author Stephen King's non-Dark Tower books, while never straying from ultimately being all about I don't know what because I've never read the books, and that's the problem here.

I've written about how difficult it must be for a newcomer to get into the Marvel Cinematic Universe at this point, and I'm kind of afraid that this movie is going to have the same problem. Massive franchises that sprawl countless movies are a chore, but it's ultimately the film industry getting onboard with the longform storytelling that comic books, novel series, and TV shows have been doing for years. Of all the properties in Hollywood trying to pull it off, Marvel's the only one that's found any kind of consistent success - or hell, any kind of groove whatsoever. Most other shared universes feel like a blind stumble toward cinematic relevance, but somehow, Marvel hasn't yet drowned in a pool of its own ambition. And a big reason for that is something I wasn't even aware of until The Dark Tower put it into perspective: Marvel movies have no connection to Marvel comics.

The source material is a jumping-off point, nothing more than decades' worth of inspiration that the movies parse at their convenience, like they're squeezing fruit for ripeness at the grocery store. Even the Netflix and ABC shows aren't too dependent on the events of the films to dictate their storylines. What the producers of The Dark Tower movie are trying to do is sneakily create a more ambitious and much crazier version of what Marvel has been meticulously plotting for over a decade. The Dark Tower is kind of, sort of taking the Marvel a la carte approach, but it also wants to be a direct sequel to its source material. If you want to unlock the full story, you have to read the 4,250 book pages that came before it - even more if you want to understand all of the books' references to other King works that he tossed in there like bread crumbs in a lake shaped like his face.

At this point, I'm not sure whether The Dark Tower is a movie or a shitty smartphone game that hides most of its content behind microtransactions.

I have no doubt that the producers thought about all this before going into production. There will probably be a few wink-and-nod moments alluding to the massive literary dinner that this hors d'oeuvre of a movie is indebted to. It might even ultimately be a half-decent idea to try to sneak a huge series of movies into theaters stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat. It's what Marvel did with Iron Man. It's a hell of a lot more subtle than the previous plan of a Dark Tower trilogy with two seasons of a TV show that would've bridged the gaps between each movie. That plan was trying too hard to retain the series' original form. The Dark Tower we're getting now goes the other way by not wanting to fully acknowledge what it is, which brings us back to Marvel. Specifically, Stan Lee.

Every comic book is someone's first is a Lee quote and ethic that ran through every issue he oversaw during his time as Marvel's editor in chief. Most of the time, it led to the first couple of pages of every issue sounding like the summary your friend would have to give you when you got back from taking a dump in the middle of a movie. At its most clunky, it was Spider-Man pausing his adventure to think about some dull thing he said to Aunt May last week. However, when elegantly executed, anyone could understand everything from the get-go without requiring a two-hour lecture on all the complicated relationships that spawned from the intermingling adventures of the characters.

The Dark Tower is flipping off that ethos while launching audiences headfirst into a mountain of dense, complicated narrative without a helmet like a drunken carnival worker. Even if it's difficult for an MCU newbie to get up to speed, at least Marvel has a cultural omnipresence that infuses people with a rudimentary understanding of the major players involved. Robert Downey Jr's face has been plastered on the side of enough Burger King soda cups that, even if you've never seen an Iron Man movie, you get the gist of what the dude's about.

I don't doubt that as an individual film, The Dark Tower might be good ol' summer blockbuster fun. It's all the baggage of Hollywood's goofy fetish for franchises that it's dragging behind it that makes it such a perplexing circus, especially considering the most absurd fact of all: The movie's only 95 minutes long.

An eight-book series that spawned a canonical video game and a prequel comic series is now all acting as a prequel to the movie, which means the prequel comics are a prequel-prequel to the movie. And if the movie's a hit, they want to make more movies and a TV show that's a prequel to all of those movies. And the movie that's supposed to contain all this madness is shorter than Air Bud.

I guess what I'm really saying is, it all seems excessive for a movie that looks like it's a really expensive gun trick video.

Luis shot himself in the foot performing Gunslinger reload moves at home without adult supervision. In the meantime, you can find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.

For more, check out 6 Personal Secrets Filmmakers Hid In Their Most Famous Film and 6 Deleted Scenes That Prove the Book Isn't Always Better.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out good movies gone bad in 5 Famous Movies That Don't Mean What You Think, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page! See anything green?

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-dark-towers-really-dumb-plan-cinematic-universe/

[gaylemccoy972-blog]

The Dark Tower's Really Dumb Plan For A Cinematic Universe

The long-awaited big-screen adaption of Stephen King's epic The Dark Tower series is coming out this week, and I couldn't be more confused. It's important that you understand that I'm not shitting on the trailer. I think it's ultra cool, and it makes me want to go out and get into a futuristic cowboy fight. I'm just having a really hard time making sense of well, just watch the trailer so that you can be confused too:

So a cowboy who can load his gun very well and his child sidekick who presumably cannot have to stop Matthew McConaughey from something something the Dark Tower? It all seems like a bunch of words pulled out of a cowboy hat were turned into a trailer, with no one ever realizing they had to make a whole movie. It doesn't do a great job of actually getting across the movie it's selling - and what it's selling is an epic tale about the tragedy of modern Hollywood's over-reliance on preexisting franchises with enormous expanded universes that can be mined endlessly for material.

The weirdness of The Dark Tower begins with the fact that it isn't an adaptation of any of the books in the series it's based on. It's a sequel to the books. Eight books, to be more precise. See, The Dark Tower is an epic fantasy-horror series, published between 1982 and 2002, that tells a mythical and philosophical tale that somehow manages to be the connective tissue between over a dozen of author Stephen King's non-Dark Tower books, while never straying from ultimately being all about I don't know what because I've never read the books, and that's the problem here.

I've written about how difficult it must be for a newcomer to get into the Marvel Cinematic Universe at this point, and I'm kind of afraid that this movie is going to have the same problem. Massive franchises that sprawl countless movies are a chore, but it's ultimately the film industry getting onboard with the longform storytelling that comic books, novel series, and TV shows have been doing for years. Of all the properties in Hollywood trying to pull it off, Marvel's the only one that's found any kind of consistent success - or hell, any kind of groove whatsoever. Most other shared universes feel like a blind stumble toward cinematic relevance, but somehow, Marvel hasn't yet drowned in a pool of its own ambition. And a big reason for that is something I wasn't even aware of until The Dark Tower put it into perspective: Marvel movies have no connection to Marvel comics.

The source material is a jumping-off point, nothing more than decades' worth of inspiration that the movies parse at their convenience, like they're squeezing fruit for ripeness at the grocery store. Even the Netflix and ABC shows aren't too dependent on the events of the films to dictate their storylines. What the producers of The Dark Tower movie are trying to do is sneakily create a more ambitious and much crazier version of what Marvel has been meticulously plotting for over a decade. The Dark Tower is kind of, sort of taking the Marvel a la carte approach, but it also wants to be a direct sequel to its source material. If you want to unlock the full story, you have to read the 4,250 book pages that came before it - even more if you want to understand all of the books' references to other King works that he tossed in there like bread crumbs in a lake shaped like his face.

At this point, I'm not sure whether The Dark Tower is a movie or a shitty smartphone game that hides most of its content behind microtransactions.

I have no doubt that the producers thought about all this before going into production. There will probably be a few wink-and-nod moments alluding to the massive literary dinner that this hors d'oeuvre of a movie is indebted to. It might even ultimately be a half-decent idea to try to sneak a huge series of movies into theaters stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat. It's what Marvel did with Iron Man. It's a hell of a lot more subtle than the previous plan of a Dark Tower trilogy with two seasons of a TV show that would've bridged the gaps between each movie. That plan was trying too hard to retain the series' original form. The Dark Tower we're getting now goes the other way by not wanting to fully acknowledge what it is, which brings us back to Marvel. Specifically, Stan Lee.

Every comic book is someone's first is a Lee quote and ethic that ran through every issue he oversaw during his time as Marvel's editor in chief. Most of the time, it led to the first couple of pages of every issue sounding like the summary your friend would have to give you when you got back from taking a dump in the middle of a movie. At its most clunky, it was Spider-Man pausing his adventure to think about some dull thing he said to Aunt May last week. However, when elegantly executed, anyone could understand everything from the get-go without requiring a two-hour lecture on all the complicated relationships that spawned from the intermingling adventures of the characters.

The Dark Tower is flipping off that ethos while launching audiences headfirst into a mountain of dense, complicated narrative without a helmet like a drunken carnival worker. Even if it's difficult for an MCU newbie to get up to speed, at least Marvel has a cultural omnipresence that infuses people with a rudimentary understanding of the major players involved. Robert Downey Jr's face has been plastered on the side of enough Burger King soda cups that, even if you've never seen an Iron Man movie, you get the gist of what the dude's about.

I don't doubt that as an individual film, The Dark Tower might be good ol' summer blockbuster fun. It's all the baggage of Hollywood's goofy fetish for franchises that it's dragging behind it that makes it such a perplexing circus, especially considering the most absurd fact of all: The movie's only 95 minutes long.

An eight-book series that spawned a canonical video game and a prequel comic series is now all acting as a prequel to the movie, which means the prequel comics are a prequel-prequel to the movie. And if the movie's a hit, they want to make more movies and a TV show that's a prequel to all of those movies. And the movie that's supposed to contain all this madness is shorter than Air Bud.

I guess what I'm really saying is, it all seems excessive for a movie that looks like it's a really expensive gun trick video.

Luis shot himself in the foot performing Gunslinger reload moves at home without adult supervision. In the meantime, you can find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.

For more, check out 6 Personal Secrets Filmmakers Hid In Their Most Famous Film and 6 Deleted Scenes That Prove the Book Isn't Always Better.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out good movies gone bad in 5 Famous Movies That Don't Mean What You Think, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page! See anything green?

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-dark-towers-really-dumb-plan-cinematic-universe/

[bradporter65-blog]

The Dark Tower's Really Dumb Plan For A Cinematic Universe

The long-awaited big-screen adaption of Stephen King's epic The Dark Tower series is coming out this week, and I couldn't be more confused. It's important that you understand that I'm not shitting on the trailer. I think it's ultra cool, and it makes me want to go out and get into a futuristic cowboy fight. I'm just having a really hard time making sense of well, just watch the trailer so that you can be confused too:

So a cowboy who can load his gun very well and his child sidekick who presumably cannot have to stop Matthew McConaughey from something something the Dark Tower? It all seems like a bunch of words pulled out of a cowboy hat were turned into a trailer, with no one ever realizing they had to make a whole movie. It doesn't do a great job of actually getting across the movie it's selling - and what it's selling is an epic tale about the tragedy of modern Hollywood's over-reliance on preexisting franchises with enormous expanded universes that can be mined endlessly for material.

The weirdness of The Dark Tower begins with the fact that it isn't an adaptation of any of the books in the series it's based on. It's a sequel to the books. Eight books, to be more precise. See, The Dark Tower is an epic fantasy-horror series, published between 1982 and 2002, that tells a mythical and philosophical tale that somehow manages to be the connective tissue between over a dozen of author Stephen King's non-Dark Tower books, while never straying from ultimately being all about I don't know what because I've never read the books, and that's the problem here.

I've written about how difficult it must be for a newcomer to get into the Marvel Cinematic Universe at this point, and I'm kind of afraid that this movie is going to have the same problem. Massive franchises that sprawl countless movies are a chore, but it's ultimately the film industry getting onboard with the longform storytelling that comic books, novel series, and TV shows have been doing for years. Of all the properties in Hollywood trying to pull it off, Marvel's the only one that's found any kind of consistent success - or hell, any kind of groove whatsoever. Most other shared universes feel like a blind stumble toward cinematic relevance, but somehow, Marvel hasn't yet drowned in a pool of its own ambition. And a big reason for that is something I wasn't even aware of until The Dark Tower put it into perspective: Marvel movies have no connection to Marvel comics.

The source material is a jumping-off point, nothing more than decades' worth of inspiration that the movies parse at their convenience, like they're squeezing fruit for ripeness at the grocery store. Even the Netflix and ABC shows aren't too dependent on the events of the films to dictate their storylines. What the producers of The Dark Tower movie are trying to do is sneakily create a more ambitious and much crazier version of what Marvel has been meticulously plotting for over a decade. The Dark Tower is kind of, sort of taking the Marvel a la carte approach, but it also wants to be a direct sequel to its source material. If you want to unlock the full story, you have to read the 4,250 book pages that came before it - even more if you want to understand all of the books' references to other King works that he tossed in there like bread crumbs in a lake shaped like his face.

At this point, I'm not sure whether The Dark Tower is a movie or a shitty smartphone game that hides most of its content behind microtransactions.

I have no doubt that the producers thought about all this before going into production. There will probably be a few wink-and-nod moments alluding to the massive literary dinner that this hors d'oeuvre of a movie is indebted to. It might even ultimately be a half-decent idea to try to sneak a huge series of movies into theaters stacked on top of each other wearing a trench coat. It's what Marvel did with Iron Man. It's a hell of a lot more subtle than the previous plan of a Dark Tower trilogy with two seasons of a TV show that would've bridged the gaps between each movie. That plan was trying too hard to retain the series' original form. The Dark Tower we're getting now goes the other way by not wanting to fully acknowledge what it is, which brings us back to Marvel. Specifically, Stan Lee.

Every comic book is someone's first is a Lee quote and ethic that ran through every issue he oversaw during his time as Marvel's editor in chief. Most of the time, it led to the first couple of pages of every issue sounding like the summary your friend would have to give you when you got back from taking a dump in the middle of a movie. At its most clunky, it was Spider-Man pausing his adventure to think about some dull thing he said to Aunt May last week. However, when elegantly executed, anyone could understand everything from the get-go without requiring a two-hour lecture on all the complicated relationships that spawned from the intermingling adventures of the characters.

The Dark Tower is flipping off that ethos while launching audiences headfirst into a mountain of dense, complicated narrative without a helmet like a drunken carnival worker. Even if it's difficult for an MCU newbie to get up to speed, at least Marvel has a cultural omnipresence that infuses people with a rudimentary understanding of the major players involved. Robert Downey Jr's face has been plastered on the side of enough Burger King soda cups that, even if you've never seen an Iron Man movie, you get the gist of what the dude's about.

I don't doubt that as an individual film, The Dark Tower might be good ol' summer blockbuster fun. It's all the baggage of Hollywood's goofy fetish for franchises that it's dragging behind it that makes it such a perplexing circus, especially considering the most absurd fact of all: The movie's only 95 minutes long.

An eight-book series that spawned a canonical video game and a prequel comic series is now all acting as a prequel to the movie, which means the prequel comics are a prequel-prequel to the movie. And if the movie's a hit, they want to make more movies and a TV show that's a prequel to all of those movies. And the movie that's supposed to contain all this madness is shorter than Air Bud.

I guess what I'm really saying is, it all seems excessive for a movie that looks like it's a really expensive gun trick video.

Luis shot himself in the foot performing Gunslinger reload moves at home without adult supervision. In the meantime, you can find him on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.

For more, check out 6 Personal Secrets Filmmakers Hid In Their Most Famous Film and 6 Deleted Scenes That Prove the Book Isn't Always Better.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out good movies gone bad in 5 Famous Movies That Don't Mean What You Think, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page! See anything green?

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-dark-towers-really-dumb-plan-cinematic-universe/