#brainworms that needed to be excised immediately

[mirabai0821]

Just thinking about Tavalstarion and how Astarion agrees to the whole ordeal thinking "There is no way this is gonna work. There is no way I'm going to fit in with this, the idea is too good to be true." And then...it works?? And he doesn't know what to do with these emotions becuase he is so happy and it is so foreign so he goes to Halsin and just emotionally vomits on him.

"I love that stupid, little creature more than I feel my heart is capable of bearing and I don’t know what to do with that. Do I even make sense?" Halsin nods like "Love'll do that to ya."

But Astarion doesn't understand how the older elf isn't also burning alive right now with fury and love. Like "No you do not understand?!"

“I can hardly look at her and not feel a great painful wrenching agony,” He thumps his chest where a heart should beat. “I didn’t think all this was going to work you know.” He waves a hand in the air formlessly. “This grand experiment of hers. Looking at her with you, seeing her smile with you, I expected to feel an insurmountable jealousy. ‘I want that smile, give it to me.’ But I can only think, ‘Is that what she looks like when she looks at me too? How have I, wretched creature, been so blessed?’” Halsin just nods sagely, doing his best to remember that this elven thing died when he was thirty-fucking-nine, an INFANT. This poor arrested-ass developed ass fucking CHILD. He'd dig up Cazador to kill him again if they didn't throw his body in the Chionthar to wander unrotting until the end of time. (Halsin, having taken a moment to himself, is high as shit and is therefore unprepared to deal with this properly.) "How do you deal with this? Death from pleasure, I can understand. Death from pain, also an intimate feeling but death from love? What in the absolute unnatural fuck?" Halsin offers him his pipe, unable to really do much else.

"Here, sit down, and smoke this."