#brainworm refuse to leave me alone

[nightfal1n]

Potential kn8 Chapter 113 Spoiler:

What if their ancestors somehow connected

[whereheartscollide]

@palidinus | continued from here

His arms folded. "I wanted to ask both of you out but I don't know if Keith would go for it too... I know I mess with him a lot but that's because he's so serious most of the time and could use to joke around more. I don't even know if he likes me that way." Blue eyes finally turned to look at him. "Or if you do."

[knave-of-clubs]

I blame @armadillo-arts for giving me this flavor of The Brainworms™ (/t)

They drew some really cool doodles of the Calamity Trio as ponies on the anniversary shared-canvas-thingy they made and now I can't stop thinking about it!!

Below the cut are the results, beware of The Brainworms™

(Also, warning for an absurd amount of words and vague spoilers for True Colors, the season 2 finale)

So @/armadillo-arts drew Anne as an Earth Pony, Sasha as a Pegasus, and Marcy as a Unicorn. I love this vibe, I love it so much and the art is so beautiful!!!

That being said, my indecisive ass always has to make multiple versions of these kinds of things because I'll end up with at least two ideas for a specific detail that I refuse to choose between–

I don't know if I could ever argue with all of my heart and soul against Anne being an Earth Pony— it's just right. Something about the Humility/Honesty/Strength vibes that just lines up perfectly with her personality. That, and the physical aspect of Earth Ponies' magic not being being as readily available as Unicorns' and Pegasi's, and how that'd play super well into both Anne's self-esteem issues and the Pre-Amphibia power dynamics in the Trio. (Also, I could see the Calamity powers turning her into an "Alicorn" à la Sunny Starscout during True Colors)

However, Sasha and Marcy are the ones that have me really thinking. I can't really explain why Marcy fits as a Unicorn (other than maybe the Unicorns' historical "scholarly" vibes like with Clover and Starswirl?) but I can definitely explain Sasha as a Pegasus. She's always had the association with birds and Strength, the former of which ties her to the Pegasi for obvious reasons, and the latter of which lines up nicely with the militaristic history of the Pegasi seen with Commander Hurricane and, generally, the Wonderbolts. And something about her general attitude is reminiscent of characters like Spitfire or Rainbow Dash, so that doesn't hurt her case–

But the idea that will not leave me the fuck alone when thinking about this stuff is Unicorn!Sasha and Pegasus!Marcy. Like, they're haunting me. It's bad–

Unicorns are literally the epitome of superiority and arrogance, and some (especially when you look back in history) tend to lord their authority/power/magic over the "lesser" of ponykind. I feel like this fits well with Pre-Amphibia Sasha and the early power dynamics of the Calamity Trio. And with Marcy, she's always had this kinda "bird/freedom" motif, but also something of a "flighty" motif as well. And all of that just kinda lands her on being a Pegasus with way-too-fucking-much energy, comparable to early-series Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.

Basically, the second set's Pre-Amphibia dynamic looks like this:

Sasha, as a Unicorn, inherently sees herself as the "stronger" one of her friends, and thus gives herself the role of physically/socially protecting them. Her presence is threatening, by virtue of "she can put a spell on me and I'm done for" (haha iykyk)

Marcy, in Sasha's eyes, is able to be left to her own devices— she's a Pegasus, she has tricks up her sleeve that she can use to her advantage. She has magic and the smarts to use it creatively, so she'd also be incredibly intimidating if her head wasn't always up in the clouds

Anne, however, is an Earth Pony. She "doesn't have magic" (it's not readily accessible) and while she could use her brute strength, she's far too nice to. Everyone thinks she's powerless and dumb as dirt just because she's an Earth Pony

Now, moving onto the second part of these details I've been considering because it's been driving me up a fucking wall–

Names!!! Names for ponies!!! Because if you're making an MLP au the characters need Pony names–

Now, I ended up with three sets of names: the G4-based names based on vibes, the G4-based names I tried my damned hardest to get to shorten to their canon names, and the "G5"-based names. Feel free to tell me these names are shit and suggest better ones, but at least tell me why exactly they're shit when you do.

The sets, in the order listed above (ones with question marks are still under consideration):

Good Heart (Anne), Roll Play (Marcy), and Full/Sweet/Honey Force(?) (Sasha)

Silken Petals, High Mark(s), and [Soarin'/Starlight] Sashay

Anise Silkweed, Martial Law(?), and Spring Sashay(?)

I've been rambling too much by now, so I'm gonna just finally post this and maybe talk about my rough Cutie Mark designs another time (If someone reading this has an eye for design PLEASE talk to me about the Cutie Marks I'm so stuck with them)

Have a nice timezone, y'all (⁠•‿⁠•⁠)⁠-♡

[captainpriceslilwife]

2/3

Okay so here’s part 2 with the miscellaneous stuff. With more hurt/comfort brainworms I fear.

Okay about Raspberry Girl I’ve been lowkey freaking out too hard ever since she started writing it because it’s too perfect of a scenario and too hot and I get overwhelmed at so horny every time so I’ve only read a couple chapters because I can’t ever get further bc it’s too good and I have to go calm down 😭 shoutout the queen @peachesofteal for writing this perfect fic and also having indulged my horrendously long  and vulgar asks as well (I’m Ms. Clit Slurp over there ugh). I’m looking forward to finally really getting into it soon. 

I’m so excited about the new Gaz x Insecure!Reader piece! I haven’t been able to read it yet but I’m happy I get to see more of those two. I love meeting the 141 fics, they’re everything to me, I’m bummed I feel like people don’t write them as much for Price. I wanna read about me being the Captain’s girl and meeting his boys, and I have no problem if we all have to fuck about it. 

ALSOOOO I’m freaking out about that post you made about the delivery woman with the newborn 😭 I think of these guys falling for whatever downtrodden pregnant woman they meet all the mf time. None of them have it in them to not get involved. I just love when they obsess about how unacceptable the circumstances are. I’ve been freaking out about Bird Watching by @readwritealldayallnight since she started posting it and it’s immaculate. There’s a moment in Part 1 when she’s asking Retired!hot construction worker!Simon for help figuring out who owns the daycare place they’re building and he realizes this pretty woman with an 8 week old baby baby is going to have to go back to work and he just hates the idea of “a pretty little bird being all worked up and stressed about finding her new little baby bird somewhere to stay because her job is trying to force her to come back so soon” and just yesssss. Then another moment in Part 3 where he learns that ‘his bird’ and her “baby bird” have been taking the subway because they don’t have a car and he nearly loses it imagining these gals squished on the dirty tube with dangerous people. 

Also the hurt/comfort potential of when it’s THEIR BABY????? Secret baby trope is incredible for this. I recently read this amazing part 2 I never expected to get from the iconic @quarterlifekitty on this topic. In part 1 reader is pregnant and tries to gauge Simon’s interest in kids and he vehemently rejects the idea because of who he is, and he’s kind of spooked by the question and leaves her. In part 2 they get reunited when they run into each other at the store and she’s got a baby. She’s clearly exhausted, and he pays for her groceries because her card declines, then her car doesn’t start so he drives them home, and Simon still hasn’t figured out the kid is his and he’s livid at the father in this situation who has left the love of his life and her gorgeous baby in such a bad situation. Then the lock on the front door is fucked up, and he learns the baby is premature so she was all alone during that, and it clicks and realizes HE’S the asshole who’s neglected his duty and it has the fluffiest ending and just ughggghhh. I think John would go insane in this scenario. To know he had fallen so far from satisfying his duty, that he had left the woman he loves in such a bad circumstance as a man who loves to take care of everything, that the universe had lovingly bestowed upon him what he desperately wanted but refused to take for himself, ever prioritizing his job and the safety of the ones he loves, and he had basically rejected that blessing inadvertently? Ugh Jonathan Price I’ll take as many babies as you want. I’ll birth you a new task force or a whole rugby team sir. 

I always think these tropes work best with Simon and John but then what else would you expect from my ass lmao. But I especially think it works well for them because ultimately I think both of them would find fatherhood so rewarding, although it makes sense for them to try to avoid it at all costs. Plus with Simon being so selfless, and coming from a broken home, and with John screaming *traditional* to me, I just know the single moms would bother them. Especially John. While I think he’s a feminist in a way and he fully accepts the value of women in even workforces as dangerous as his, I lowkey think outside of his job he’s one of those guys who doesn’t even like to see women open doors lmao. As a fellow southern girly I think you get the vibe. These men solve such complicated problems for a living, do such hard things, and I don’t think either of them do fuck all with their money outside of work. So to see a woman with problems that they could so EASILY solve, burdens they would vastly prefer to carry, I think it always eats at them. I think especially in scenarios where they’ve retired and they find they’re bored as fuck and need to feel useful, and crave the guiding and nurturing they got to do as superiors in the SAS, either of these mfs would LATCH onto the nearest sweet thing who needs help expeditiously, make her their pet project. And who needs more help than a single mom? (Just a quick affirmation that this country enrages me always and forever)

YES! I love both of those works you mentioned so much (honestly they were probably the reason i even connected that poor mom with our fictional guys lol)

john is absolutely a chauvanist. not necessarily in a harmful way, but he is bristling whenever he sees a woman not being taken care of (he saw a woman hold the door open for her husband once, while she was carrying all the bags and a baby by herself....he nearly fainted)

i definitely think our boys would buy something else to be delivered to their house, just so they have another chance at talking to the pretty bird and her baby (they were stunned into silence the first time they saw her, too shocked to get out the words that they wanted to say)

and that's when they make their move on her. obviously the approach would differ vastly for each of our boys, but the main goal is the same for all of them - take the pretty bird under your wing, and don't let her go.

(i'm gonna focus on John tho bc that's my man and this is his territory lets be real)

i can already see John realizing that she's the most hyper-independent woman he's ever met in his life. she's not quick to accept any help from him - if anything, she's eying him suspiciously whenever he offers a helping hand. little ms. i got it meets mr. sit tf down and let me do it. but he's slow...patient...waits for the moment when she's nearly pulling her hair out from how stressed she is to swoop in and save the day.

he's picking up medication for her when she and the baby get sick, and he's making sure to bring them extra goodies and groceries even though she insisted she could get them delivered - sweetheart, it's alright. i don't mind, really. put your wallet away, love. just want to see you girls get better, yeah?

the second he finds out that they don't have a car and she usually walks everywhere with her baby???? in her sketchy ass neighborhood???? john has to talk himself down in the mirror every night to fight the urge to kidnap her and keep her at his place (lovingly)

he realizes he can't wait for her to ask for help, or try to stop her when she's already started something - he has to predict what she needs first and get to it before she does. bc that woman refuses to make herself a burden to anyone, even though John is practically frothing at the mouth at the chance to make her life easier.

[another-corpo-rat]

Pressure

i got the brainworms bad and this wouldn't leave me alone until i got it written - featuring @merge-conflict's thieving lil shit, Valentine 💕 thank you for allowing me to bully your gremlin once again

No explicit ship, but these two are weird about each other Summary: Smasher left a job half done; one of Valentine's arms still fleshy. Victoria considers tying up the loose end. Warnings for intentional bodily harm, both past and present.

It was endearing how Valentine looked when she was caught unawares; not quite a deer in the headlights, but something close – a slacking to the jaw, brows lifted from their usual furrow, eyes wide enough that she could almost see the thoughts in a flurry behind them, as if her touch was the last thing expected. Utterly and heart-achingly endearing.

More so with how her heart fluttered in rapid beats, betrayed in her reach for neutrality by the rampant pulse caught between Victoria’s fingers. She’s held prisoners with slower heart rates, but never quite as gentle. Never touched those destined for death as tenderly as her fingers slide over the sharp point of knuckles. Still flesh, still human unlike its opposite.

A job Smasher left half done.  

She hums at that thought, leaves it unspoken despite how Valentine’s expression turns more questioning as she ghosts along bony fingers, dipping under to brush smooth chrome against calloused skin. Likely from her time spent gallivanting about in the gutter, as hardened and cracked as the ground she hit running.

Her fingers curl, slow to grip at first until the vice tightens. The delicate bones beneath move with her strength, crushed inwards. It’s different on this end. She remembers the creaks and whine of bone in her eardrums, rising into a cacophony of a sickening crunch. She could hear it even over her own voice, the desperate begging she was above and yet sank to. All for nothing.

Smasher had been relentless in the face of it. Hardly regarded it at all as his hand trailed upwards, a mockery of a lover’s caress leaving not goosebumps but agony in his wake until it proved too much to remain awake against.

And yet—

All it takes is a sharp breath sucked in through teeth for her to stop. Not pause, but stop. Her grip easing, fingertips returning to their gentle ghosting against skin, massaging into aching knuckles. A simple miscalculation of strength if Valentine were to ask.

But she doesn’t, not as Victoria’s hand retreats across the table to take refuge in the hold of a near-empty coffee cup as she distracts herself with a needless glance over of the meeting room once more.

The surprised and questioning expressions are gone now, replaced by something entirely too knowing that she refuses to meet. 

[lnkedmyheart]

Hi :)

Can you recommend some bsd angst fics? ( angst is my shit and I wanna suffer lol )

I have a few so under the cut. A couple would be more popular but the rest are imo pretty underrated.

Akai by itotypes

"All is fair in love and war, right?"

Obviously. I personally find it a lot more fun angst than suffering angst though. Includes Dazai with a walking stick.

Yellow roses (400 yen) by the_most_happy

Dazai Osamu is not dead. Oh, he tried. But when he jumped off the Port Mafia building, he didn't consider that a certain annoying Slug was going to risk everything to save him. Thanks to his old partner, Dazai is given the chance to start a new life as a civilian: he has an apartment in Tokyo, a tiny flower shop crammed with plants and pots, and a mind filled with ghosts. His life is tranquil. His mission is finished. Until the day when, for the first time in five years, Chuuya walks into his flower shop with a job.

This is a angsty post canon beast au but this doesn't include Chuuya's meltdown cause Dazai doesn't die. Includes Dazai with a walking stick.

If you refuse to listen I’ll say it twice, love of my life by olympiansally

There’s Atsushi, Dazai’s star pupil. There’s Fyodor, arguably Dazai’s soulmate, a single mind in two bodies. There’s Kunikida, Dazai’s partner. There’s Oda, the reason Dazai wants to live. And then there’s Chuuya. If he asked Dazai to define him, to name his purpose, Chuuya already knows what he would hear. Chuuya is his dog, Chuuya is a slug, Chuuya is a chibi. And sure, maybe he is. But none of that is enough. Or, Chuuya can’t figure out what he means to Dazai exactly, but if he would only listen, he would realize that Dazai has been telling him all along.

This isn't exactly angsty but it's funny angsty cause Chuuya is oblivious as fuck in this and keeps jumping through hoops the whole time. Bro is literally living the brojob nightmare.

I Said It Was A Dream (and he agreed) by Hum My Name (My_Kind_of_Crazy)

The plan: Dazai Osamu leaves the mafia after Odasaku’s death, but he doesn’t leave behind his rage. Fuelled by the need to avenge his friend, he creates a painstaking plan to tear down the Port Mafia— to create a false haven for mafia members while, behind the scenes, he collects information meant to expose the organization for the criminal terror it is. The dilemma: Dazai doesn’t plan on Chuuya finding him. Chuuya believes Dazai’s simply hiding from the mafia, starting fresh with a harmless job in a local bar. They have their closure and move on— until Chuuya seeks him out again. Eventually, their emotions for one another can no longer be ignored. But Dazai’s desperation to take down the mafia means he can’t become distracted by his feelings for Chuuya Maybe, he can use this connection with Chuuya to his benefit. Maybe, he can have everything he wants, so long as Chuuya never finds out.

This is a canon divergence angst fic where Dazai decides to destroy the PM.

Release series by afinepricklypear

After countless days (months?) fighting against hundreds of fictional murderers in Poe’s book and using the time alone to reflect, Chuuya is released. (Alt: How Chuuya got out of the book Ranpo trapped him in towards the end of Season 3)

This was really fun for me as someone who enjoys angst, a lot of it is pre sb though.

Confessions of a lie by afinepricklypear

For three months, Chuuya has been missing and, during that time, Dazai has fallen further into an obsessive search for him. Until late one rainy night, an oddly familiar looking woman knocks on Dazai’s door.

This is a really odd entry ngl, I adore the angst and it's deliberately ooc. It's from 2020 so there is a lot of canon skk context missing but idk I found it an unexpectedly nice read. There are discussions of SA and coercion, some pre stormbringer characterization issues but if you go into this as a canon divergence au concept it's very enjoyable. Also the author is very explicit about this being a brainworm that they needed to write cause it wouldn't leave them alone.

Retrace by Kuranoa.

Chuuya dreams every night, and in those dreams, he dies the most horrendous deaths, over and over. He wakes up in a cold sweat, afraid and disoriented. Dazai always assures him that they are nothing but nightmares. In this world, Fyodor has successfully obtained The Book. In this world, Dazai has witnessed Chuuya’s death 18,263 times.

I genuinely don't remember much from this fic but I do remember finding this good enough to be one of the first fics I bookmarked.

[thedragonagelesbian]

future and mistake for cyrus? :o

:oooooooooooooooooooo

oc asks: not so nice edition

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could've been, never fighting back.

Varric: Ha, you've got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.

Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?

Varric: In that story of yours—-the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone. You thought he gave up, right?

Solas: Yes.

Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.

Varric: That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. And it's gone forever.

Varric: The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets.

Forgive the somewhat abstract answer, but this banter gives me brainworms, and I can't help but understand it in the context of Cyrus' worst possible future. Even in his other worst case scenario--being hollowed out and reduced to nothing but a symbol and a weapon--there's that possibility that someone else will be able to save him, that he will still be surrounded by people who care about and love him even if his soul is fractured and his body is claimed by arcane entities beyond his comprehension.

But losing everybody? Having to go on living alone? Having to make peace with failure and to face loss with grace? Will he ever be the type of person content to sit in the sun, to accept his own stubborn happiness and survival as a furious refusal of a world that has marked him again and again for death and despair?

mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

DA2 Cyrus: leaving Bethany behind on the Deep Roads Expedition. He doesn't know that he would have lost her no matter what, of course, just that his absence led to her being taken to the Circle. The irony of course is that telling Bethany to stay in Kirkwall was a unilateral protective big brother decision.

He's tried very hard to fix this particular error, despite Bethany's insistence that he come to terms with the situation. In the month after returning from the expedition, he got himself badly hurt many times trying (and utterly failing) to break her out of the Gallows, and he spent more than a few nights imprisoned there himself. He keeps carrying that guilt and anger for years. Of course, Bethany does eventually leave the Circle in the end... if under less than ideal circumstances.

Pallybarb Cyrus: breaking his oath; it was a moment of pettiness and frustration with profound consequences, but with Karlach's help, he was able to accept it and even embrace the uncertainty and the flexibility that being a full-fledged oathbreaker comes with.

Shadow Sorc Cyrus: not stopping Astarion from emptying him like an industrial strength drain snake. He wouldn't have considered it a mistake if he had just died (pallybarb Cyrus did not mind that NEARLY as much as he should've), but instead it started a chain of events ending with his body lost and his soul bound to a sword, and that's not counting all the weeks of dysphoria and alienation and isolation and active self-destruction and...

So, um. No. He hasn't fixed it, and he DEFINITELY hasn't moved on no matter how much he tells himself and others that he is Really Super Fine (don't mind him screaming at abdirak to hurt him as bad as possible or letting volo icepick him or shotgunning tadpoles or--)

Ranger Cyrus: trusting [redacted], eventually remedied with a sword through the gut, a crack of divinity like a lightning strike burning out the hollow of a tree, a blur of blood and tears and screaming even as he cradles the dying body

[spoiltizzy]

When Stede finds the Kraken's crew starving and hunched around that bird he goes on a mission to fatten them all up again and he's not taking no for an answer.

there’s so many characters it’s kinda hard for me to work with them all at once lol.

i’m thinking about the way stede kinda presents a little bit like a father or mother to his crew sometimes, reading them stories and guiding them through arts and crafts. it would be strange but sort of satisfying in a way to stede take that in the direction of ‘nobody is leaving this table until their plate is clean’. he’s overfeeding them a little, it’s out of worry.

(also i’m really sorry lol but i’m one of those guys who didn’t really like the season two finale and it has me in this headspace where half my ofmd ideas currently are weird and fucked up and bordering on psychological horror. i have very odd brainworms currently about ed and stede not knowing who they are when they’re alone together in domesticity, or who to be, and sort of subconsciously emulating strange mockeries of heteronormativity. i should expand on that on a whole seperate post probably.)

really though he’s just making food overabundant and praising them for eating a lot and encouraging them to eat more. he’s actually being fairly sweet about the whole thing.

also, separately, i imagine stede hand-feeding a drunk and bitter izzy because izzy is refusing to do so himself. izzy is reluctantly grateful for it, and bonnet is sickly sweet about the whole thing. it’s nearly condescending. it is. stede’s not without ego in the matter. as izzy starts to gain weight and become more agreeable with him, stede feels self-satisfied and clever, like a little boy who has managed to train a wild animal to eat from his hand.

(again i think i might be stuck in slightly fucked up brain mode lol sorry)

[forbidding-souda]

Hi! Hope you're having a great weekend! Absolutely love your blog and when I had this idea while on my way to work I knew I had to request you!

Can I request Mondo, Kiyo and Kaito with a Gyaru SO?

I have the world's most insistent brainworms I-

Mondo Oowada, Shinguuji Korekiyo, and Kaito Momota with a Gyaru S/O

I fucking love gyaru's this is an excellent request thank you. gyaru is so broad so help each of the things I say are going to be lowkey different but we'll deal with it together.

i wrote the mondo one listening to angeleyes by abba so you can imagine

also not proofread sorry if some things sound a little silly.

-Mods Souda

Mondo Oowada

✯ You're beauty and you're grace, you're also the one driving him insane. When you do your hair well and whenever you have lashes on, you will refuse to ride on that bike with him. There is no way you're going to ruin your pretty look with his high speeds, so he will either pull a I'll meet you there, then or he becomes a public commuter. The only complaints he has about your style is the typical masculine man things, like you taking up a lot of counter space in the bathroom with your stuff (but some of it smells really nice) and the amount of jewelry you just leave around.

✯ this one's a little suggestive i think.

This bar was the kind that, without ever being heard of, always had somebody in it. In all hours of the day somebody is out and about, and this bar was something of a unique type. It was an American-biker bar. You go in there almost constantly just for that reason, you're a regular! Being that it is an American themed bar, however, you often get bosozoku popping in checking out who are foreigners and who are not. Where the bosozoku are, Mondo tends to follow. There was him and two other boys, each standing at separate places, when you came in. Your eyes quickly go to him. You went and stood at the bar by the orange-toned lights that hang from the ceiling. It had been an annoying day at work, so annoying that during your break you had gone outside just to stand in the sunlight, and you swore you had fallen asleep standing there. Now, rather than going to sleep, you had decided to go out (and alone). Not that it matters to you, you have an ulterior motive anyway. Mondo finally, hesitantly, appeared and leaned over you to the bar. A tank top this low in the night? He should be getting cold. "What's up?" You smile at him. He ignores you, ordering your drink, already well acquainted with both the sight of you and the taste of your lips when you leave this place. "What's up with you?" "I wanted to see if you were here," you say, clicking your heels innocently. "Gotcha. Missin' me or something?" You stare at him with bright eyes, looking at him as if he's an angel. He's still yet to look down at you. He knows that if he does, he will fold immediately, giving into your beauty [and the way you stare at him as if he is the most beautiful man in the world]. He adds on, more meek, "Comin' out all this way for me?" He remembers the last time he drove you home where you had told him that going all the way over to him was starting to take time out of your day, where you had asked him to start going over to you instead. With the amount of areas he is not supposed to go in at certain times of the day (and this is something you are very unaware about) he was starting to get worried he'd not be able to see you as often. This was a few weeks ago, and his worry was indeed correct. "How terrible of me, I know," you add sarcastically, "my poor pasmo." "Shut it." You look up to see his face, which is almost burning red in a flush, but the small smirk on his face tells you that he's not exactly mad.

✯ If you play your music loud, he doesn't mind at all. He's all about being loud.

✯ ^ Which, in terms of him being loud, you thought his initial loudness was charming. When he first met you, he was nervous asf because of how pretty you are, so he was stuttering and accidentally raising his voice and everything. Your improper words and the slang you use helped him settle in the casual conversation, as the more you two talked, the more he realized you weren't like those other people who required formalities and properness to get along with others.

✯ When the members of his gang tease him for having a girlfriend they will always use the -poyo suffix to portray the way you talk.

.

Shinguuji Korekiyo

✯ While he is a scholar of history and ancient culture, you tend to be more knowledgable on modern habits. His first impulse is to correct you on certain things until he realizes that, truly, you do know more than him. This little culture in Japan is extremely interesting to him. Learning is something he is grateful for. He is always motivated to expand his mind, and you help him with this, which is a reason he finds himself inspired by you (and attracted to you).

You were determined to leave your room even if you had no cause. There's a certain level of expectation you find yourself achieving, especially online. You've been inspired ('inspired' is used loosely) to share your interesting surroundings at least once a day. This fits in to Shinguuji's lifestyle. Most of the time, he wakes up early. He has this whole routine that you are more than welcome to get involved with, or interrupt. When he's done (and waiting for you to finish getting ready) the two of you head on your way to a location he's promised. He always gets pleased by your curiosity and treats it like it's the most magical thing in the world. The trip only took an hour and thirty. The silence of the train kept you on your toes, and with boredom you would glance over to him, staring at his peaceful face: eyebrows low and a hair stuck in his eyelashes. Even though it has began to be summer, there was still cold wind within transportation, it was something that you were unprepared for considering the weather reports on your phone, and so the two of you stand there as he lets you push your fingers into his sleeves. Beyond concrete borders is a world of sand and fresh-smelling water, where the sun suddenly started to peak from behind the clouds, the rays becoming the warmth you so expected. You both made your way past families and sand castles. "This place looks the same as the beaches on tv," you say, stepping closer to the water but soon back as it tries to touch your toes. "Hmm. This might just be the one on tv." Even though you feel as if you might be over-dressed for the beach, there is still an exchange of pleasantries with you and the ozone. "It is, isn't it?" With a sudden silence, the waves brings both water and ambience. Seconds pass before you decide to speak again. "Well," you smile, "let's take pictures. I can pretend to be one of those sexy actresses, what do you think?" "I think it's a lovely idea."

✯ He can take you on tours of traditional sites, even ones you've been to already. You can tweet about your experience and he will take picture of you in front of the sites and structures that welcome that behavior. He appreciates the fact that you are spreading this knowledge to people (he makes sure to proofread anything you're saying).

✯ Hairspray doesn't bother him, but what does bother him is the fact that you use the same type of eyeliner he does. How is he supposed to know which is yours and which is his?

✯ Having a conversation with his colleagues is always funny because they speak so professional, and so does he, but then you come into the conversation with your casual (and often disrespectful tone) and it catches the other party off guard.

✯ He loves it when you say resourceful things in that tone of yours, it makes his heart flutter.

✯ And he loves how magnificent your eyes look when you have that makeup on. Whether it's the type to accentuate or dramaticize, he finds it absolutely lovely. He loves unique makeup styles, he can talk all about the history of it and such.

✯ Dating a fashionista means that he has a new outlook on things like the development of modern clothing and advertisement. He notices cultural norms upon clothing styles and the ways to wear makeup and beauty products in general.

✯ Some of the things our civilization prefers are very similar to the ones he studies from hundreds of years ago, he finds.

.

Kaito Momota

✯ He had boldly introduced himself. He decided to stop being nervous and to just go ahead and alert you of his presence, as he is an astronaut, one of the best in the world, so logically why would you not consider meeting him a new beginning? He was fascinated by you since the start. He took time out of his day to respond to your tweets, and retweet the funny ones, making his twitter 80% you (and you noticed him, of course you did). When he walked up to you in person, you pretended not to recognize him, which very much confused him because ever since he graduated, people have been acknowledging him like they never have before. "I'm just messing you you," you had laughed behind your hand, watching his head tilt. His confused expression quickly turned into a laugh as he put his hand on his hip. "Oh man, you got me!"

Leaving it until the last minute would annoy you, and he knows that, but he always has his priorities a little scrambled. The unpleasant impression he might leave you with is the reason he is running back and forth in his room trying to find that glitter glue you lended him a few weeks ago (it's not that he forgot to give it back, he just wanted to keep it until you specifically asked for it back). You both eat together for a Valentines' Day dinner, and you notice how antsy he seems to be. You offered to let him show you things on the telescope again but he refused, saying he'd rather spend time with you here, and his gaze shifted away as he said so. You pout a bit and sink into your seat, because outside of anticipation, you don't like this behavior from him. Somehow, you both still found your way outside, the cold air chilling your nose, your faces looking up at the stars (it never gets old to him). To him, this seems as good a time as any. "I really like your lipstick today," he says, seeking a casual way in. "It's lip gloss." "Yeah, that. I really like the glitter." He sticks his hand in his pocket, warming up his fingers as well a fiddling with a paper inside. "Except for when it gets on your lips, right?" You joke, checking your nails. He laughs, trying to find a way to steer the conversation. Does he compliment you more? He wonders if that is the right move, or if you'd just think he's buttering you up (is he?). Instantaneously, he gives up. Without anymore hesitance he lets his confidence return to his body as he takes out the folded piece of construction paper and hands it over. "I made you something!" He says, the excitement in his voice a bit faux. You manage a little laugh, one that only derives from curiosity. "Oh, yeah?" You unfold it, getting a bit of the glitter on your hands, it falling on your outfit when you open it fully. His hand stays in his glitter-filled pocket. You're really pretty the text says in faulty handwriting. You still grin, looking at the drawings of flowers that cover the bottom. The grin turns into a smile, and heat begins to raise to your cheeks. So this is why he was so nervous. "This is so cute! Agepoyo!" "Thank you... I'm not very creative, aren't I?" But you are beyond his self-deprecation, instead ignoring his words and wrapping your arms around his neck. "So amazing," you whisper against his skin. "It's so amazing."

✯ He likes giving you gifts because of the cute reactions you have. He assumes that sometimes you're being overdramatic on purpose, but that doesn't stop him from getting butterflies at the compliments.

✯ He loves it when you take selfies with him, it boosts his confidence (especially when you post them). There's something about you showing him off to your audience that makes him want to hold you to his chest and keep you there forever.

✯ He feels very silly being around so much girly stuff all the time. You leave your lipglosses on tables and counters, and you have lash glue stuffed into some of his jackets pockets.

✯ He does like it when you carry around combs, though. He takes care of his hair more than anything else.

✯ Sunshine is almost nonexistant during some seasons, so the fashionable outfits you wear that go against the weather are often less insufferable when he lends you his jacket.

✯ ^ It's camp.

✯ ^ Your fans find it endearing.

[reilliane]

I just had to share a brainworm I had for Vigil after your stories made me bawl in my room at 1AM!! This isn't a request or anything, I just had this sink into my head and needed to throw it at someone!!

I can't help but imagine an AU where Kazuha's sister was found by the Shogun's forces just a breath away from death and her unconscious self dragged before the Raiden Shogun for judgement. With a fugitive and the perfect leverage right in front of them, Yae Miko is put to work on resuscitating her and bringing her back to health.

Thus begins the years spent in total isolation as a hostage for the Shogun. The only contact she gets is when she gets her meals or Kujou Sara's rare visits.

Flash forward to Aether arriving to liberate Inazuma with Kazuha when Sara intercepts them with an offer from the Raiden Shogun. In her eternal mercy, in exchange for the fugitive and the visions of the leaders of the rebellion, she will free Kazuha's sister.

Her proof of her survival is yards and yards of embroidered fabric. All decorated beautifully with thousands of maple leaves. Years of work all showing Kazuha how long his sister has been trapped, and the thought that maybe if he'd done just a little more that night they could spent all those years together

and the thought that he abandoned her still alive out in the cold

Omg the angst fuel in this is so splendid, the tea is bitter, I like it so much- (Oh the healing wonders of Electro)

I couldn't resist expanding your idea, darling anon, I hope you don't mind. If a short appears with this idea, it's dedicated to you

More under the cut because it got incredibly long hehe

I'm not kidding, it's long- (✿◡‿◡)

I think this idea of yours will work best after Signora's death, where the Traveler rendezvoused with Gorou, Kazuha, and the resistance. Sara is quick to recover and call after them—the Traveler won in the duel, why not propose an exchange, then?

Imagine Kazuha refusing to believe it at first because he was there- he was there when MC took her last breath. Or so he thought.

Then just- Sara taking MC from the dungeons to have her kneel at the steps of Tenshukaku and oh boy, the reality crashing down on the poor man.

Right there, reliving the moment his friend went through is his sister—her [c] eyes still have the gleam, but they're so- so foreign now. It's like they've lost all hope, they're there, but incredibly distant.

Kazuha faces a crossroads and everyone is looking at him. Will it be betrayal or not? I strongly feel, though, that he won't abide by the exchange, but oh how it just crushes him.

He tearfully rejects the offer and that's when Ei strikes—and of course, we have to stick to canon- he manages to awaken Tomo's Vision and boOOOM!

The very moment the Traveler is taken back to Ei's Euthymia, you can bet that all hell broke loose. Nothing but burning hot red is what Kazuha sees and there is only one goal in mind, he must get MC back—even if it means making an enemy of the Tenryou Clan by smiting Sara.

Kazuha's already weeping by the time he manages to save MC and all that leaves him are apologies—starting from the very start.

For being distant, for only making amends when it's already too late, for leaving her behind despite it being her wish, and for not choosing her earlier. MC's without a doubt the sacrificial kind, he knows she would prefer it if her brother chose Inazuma over her, but still.

The guilt, dears, the guilt-

And he just holds her in his arms, rocking them both so gently like MC did when they were younger. Caressing her hair, whispering his apologies amidst his tears, promising to keep her safe, promising to be a better brother.

And- and, though MC does not respond verbally, still stuck in the eternal horror she's faced alone, she just- holds her sibling's arm, and the latter breaks apart immediately.

MC's recovery process will take a long time and just having her there spaced out makes Kazuha remember all the tragedy- and then he's silently tearing up again.

Oh and for more angst? Just MC looking at him- blank and out of it, but she wipes his tears away, regardless. Poor Kazu just spirals down into anguish even more.

All that traveling he's so desired? To travel the world? They're gone.

He will be by his sister's side all the time during her healing, taking baby steps, slowly reteaching the beauty of the world like she's done for him. It's hard and it's a long way to go, but it will have its merit.

And just imagine the bittersweet feelings that rupture when one day, someday, he's cooking some food for them when he hears it-

"Kazu,"

He just- stands there frozen because did he hear that right?

And he turns- and MC's standing there- although she looks as if she's come from war, the light is back in her eyes and she's gazing at him the same way when there were no troubles for them.

Then just- oh my goodness- him just whispering a trembling, 'nee-san..' in disbelief. Then his mind kicks into motion and his tears are springing back again- and another crying session starts, but the difference now is that MC is actively responding.

She's healed—she's alright, she's back, she's alive.

And Kazuha won't make the same mistakes again.

(Actually he did, and that was burning their dinner lmao- but that's alright, because their first bonding time after so long is cooking! :DDD)

[deltaruminations]

ok fuck it. now that i have new and exciting flavors of Teen Gaster brainworms let’s bullshit some headcanon fodder

managing the unintelligible font issue: the kid just doesn’t talk very much. he mostly interacts non-verbally and we get descriptions from narration and reactions from other characters, like kris but a NPC. in the event that he does speak maybe other characters echo his sentiments back so players can get the gist and keep moving in the moment. potential for comedy here too

as a party member, i’m guessing some kind of scout or support class. rogue/assassin/sniper or artificer. frail, bides time, needs a lot of coverage/defending, but potent when he does ACT. former could balance kris & noelle (fighter & cleric), latter could balance kris & susie (fighter & barbarian). in either case it’s still kind of uneven, or at least requires new strategies, which could be interesting/challenging

if, as speculated, ralsei leaves the party at some point, that leaves potentially two characters (kris & susie or kris & noelle) alone with this chaotic stupid whiz kid and free to make Extremely Bad Choices (cue ENTRY NUMBER SEVENTEEN)

given that ralsei is potentially his future self’s OC how funny would it be if Teen Gaster just can’t fucking stand the guy. he thinks ralsei is such a sopping wet blanket preachy goody goody motherfucker he rolls his eyes every time the dude even opens his mouth. maybe ralsei leaves the party because Teen G is so passive aggressive to him he’s like "yeah this guy sucks. i’ll be at the castle call me when he gets himself killed trying to eat weird mushrooms or whatever"

also very funny to consider UI Gaster creating the world’s nicest most patient fluffy boy to be his own past self’s babysitter but his past self is such a dipshit even his carefully engineered nanny program refuses to deal with him (and/or UI Gaster is so bad at intuiting what people like/want he can’t even create a friend for himself)

gaster continues to be his own worst enemy and living in hells of his own making

his tea tastes like Something but no one can figure out what the fuck it is. vaguely licorice-y maybe (asters are sometimes used in tea but it isn’t too common these days. but aniseed is also notably star shaped…). it heals a random amount between 40 (who the fuck is this guy) and 70 (yeah he’s ok i guess) each time except to ralsei who loses like 10 HP from it. Teen G gets like 120 HP from everyone else’s teas except ralsei’s which he just refuses to drink

actually you know what susie probably really likes the dude. come on. she’s got the biggest heart ever. she gets 120 from his tea and is like “HELL YEAH!! BLACK LICORICE!!!" and ralsei looks at her like she’s insane

noelle finds him very off-putting and gets bad vibes but goes along with it because he’s Nice Enough Right? whether or not she eventually decides to trust her gut on this significantly impacts the trajectory of things (potential for Noelle-Ralsei Solidarity Moment as well)

fwiw a lot of this could also be reworked to fit papyrus, especially if you’re in the camp of What If Papyrus Deltarune Is Kind Of A Shithead speculation. make of that what you will

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte AU Event

Aight because I have Comte brainworms (is this a surprise to anybody I sure hope not), there’s something I’ve just been thinking about a lot ever since completing one of the story events a month ago:

The cover art being very sexy aside, I naturally did Comte’s story event and I have yet to move on. Namely because of one specific line. (Disclaimer: Keep in mind I don’t mean to say I’m an expert, I just translate for fun--I don’t have the same prowess as an official linguist. That being said starts the circus music let the show go on)

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

This is the line I want to dive into, but before I can really talk about it, we need proper context. 

Event spoilers below:

This event is a little different since it’s an AU, so the mansion and its residents don’t exist. (Comte lives in the mansion on his own, but it’s not the same one we know.) Instead Comte, Leo, and Arthur are stand alone suitors who have turned MC into a vampire. Because MC has no clear memory of how and/or why it happened, MC is seeking vengeance against her paired hottie--and fully intends to end their life one way or another.

Aside from how sexy revenge is and how much I love the enemies to lovers trope, Comte’s entire storyline gave me more life than I can humanly convey. Here goes nothing!

So it begins with MC knocking on his door and Comte answers it and literally just stares at her silently like some kind of Furby. MC starts out by saying she’s been trying to narrow down the bastard that ruined her life and her search has finally brought her to his doorstep. She basically demands the truth from him and he just keeps. Staring owlishly (lmao). He eventually relents and tells her that a conversation is much better held inside, and invites her into his home to talk. 

She's sus as hell but enters the house, and he asks if she's had blood. This stops her in her tracks, shook, and her monologue drifts to explain a few things. When she woke up years ago, a new vampire, she had instructions to approach the Rouge/Blanc dispensary for what she needed. The staff there told her that everything was paid for, and she continued to receive support from an unnamed benefactor. She asked them for the identity of this person, but they were beholden to customer confidentiality. As such, she's been searching for information to narrow down her target for years until she finally found him tonight.

Despite the years it doesn't mean she's any more comfortable with her new existence. She notes that she still tends to stick to drinking Blanc--only drinking Rouge (in other words, blood) when she has no other choice. When Comte puts the Rouge on the table, she becomes notably unsettled. She's thirsty, but she won't concede to his request that she drink it; she refuses.

(I feel like he can probably tell because he's her sire/because of his experience with vampires). Comte--naturally--refuses to let her go hungry, so he knocks it back and kisses her to get her to drink it. He lets go as soon as she's swallowed it, and doesn't resist when she shoves him off. She rails at him about how awful he is for doing that, he agrees. She asks if he was the one that killed her parents, he confirms with blasé indifference. She's fuming quietly, but she notes that he doesn't really look happy or triumphant about it. What he's saying isn't reaching his eyes; his gaze is distant and sad. And it's confusing her. Isn't he supposed to be the enemy?

She's lost in her thoughts and unresponsive until there's a loud cry from outside the house, the shriek of a nearby owl. She snaps out of her daze to see that she still has his hand in a vice grip from when she shoved him off, and his skin is blanched--she cut off his circulation from the pressure. She releases him, startled, but he says nothing. 

She's trying to sort out what's going on, and doesn't have enough information to really piece anything together. She wants to hate him but things aren't making sense. Why did her parents have to die in the first place? Why does he bother keeping her alive at his own expense? Even just now, what he did felt more like an attempt to get her to eat than anything else. Why isn’t he more malicious? This MC is desperate for answers, and she says as much: "What are you hiding…?" 

Comte doesn't answer her, just averts his gaze and remains silent. MC decides she won't do anything until she learns the full extent of what happened the night she was turned. Furthermore, she's well aware of Comte’s status being a problem. If she goes too far without proper motive, the aristocracy could come back to bite her in the ass. (The implication here is that she's more concerned about being wrong and living with that regret, rather than any necessity to protect herself. The state of his gaze--the melancholy there--keeps eating at her. Until she knows why, she won't move forward.) 

Comte is shocked that she demands to live alongside him in the mansion, but he doesn't take any issue with it. He says the mansion is pointlessly huge for one person anyway--she's welcome to stay. Either way she wins with this arrangement: either she gets the truth or she finds an effective way to destroy him by the end. And so their little cohabitation begins!

After a timeskip, MC recounts how she's been spending her days in the mansion. She's been tidying around the house, both in the hopes of finding evidence and/or in the hopes of repaying all the years of living on his assistance. He doesn't stop her, letting her do as she pleases and keeping his distance.

One day, she's about to step out into town to grab some groceries. Comte approaches at the front door, cautioning her to be safe--there have been many reports of scuffles/dangerous encounters. MC brushes him off, unsurprised he knows what's going on in town. He's very well connected to the aristocracy, and she notes that he's often at dinner gatherings and parties when he's not home. She insists she can't let her guard down, that he can't be trusted; no matter how kind he is to her face.

Another day, he asks her to attend a ball later in the week. He tells her she's under no obligation to stay with him while they're there, just that he wants her to take some time and relax--to have fun. She tries to insist that going to something like that would be more stressful than fun but he won’t hear of any protest, walking away before she can fully reject the outing. (Comte, an idiot, speed-walking out of the room: and that is what we call finessed). She sighs, thinking she'll be nothing but a burden to him given her lack of knowledge about events like that. She doesn't really know the proper etiquette or how to dance, it’s completely out of her depth.

Surprising no one at all Comte buys MC a dress and accessories to match regardless, and when she comes down the staircase leading to the front door he's awestruck. He tells her she's beautiful and she's miffed by the raw sincerity, trying to remind herself that he is eeeeevil. He knows how to talk to women given his status, he's just smooth talking... (She's trying to convince herself, essentially.)

And so they go, and she's a bit of a wallflower. He leaves her alone--doesn't want to bother her--while she sticks close to one wall. Several men ask her to dance, but she politely declines. Her monologue explains that, given what she is and the fact that she’s only living for revenge, she sees no merit in trying to court human men. She sees it as irresponsible and inevitably disastrous, and…

[Given the nature of what I am I just can't. I can't fall in love with a human man. Besides, the only person I really want to dance with is...as much as I hate it, my line of sight keeps drifting to Comte. Suddenly he looks up and meets my gaze, but I hurriedly look away--my heart pounding in my chest. Why. In a room full to the brim with people, why do my eyes keep looking for him. Whatever, time to go cool off for a bit.]

She leaves the ballroom--mortified at herself--to get some fresh air. Not five minutes into trying to figure out whatever the hell is going on with her shitshow of a life, a man appears asking what she’s doing alone. And da da da d a Zelda treasure chest sound effect he whips out a knife covered in blood and tries to stab MC. Naturally, because I’m an idiot, my first thought was:

TW: knife attack

TW: homicides by serial killer

But it turns out our local serial killer remains nameless in this event, so I can point no fingers. MC is panicking about needing to run and frozen in place from the shock, but Comte appears to pull her out of range--knife sinking into his back. He doesn’t react much to the violence as the attacker runs away, yanking out the knife and focused on checking her for any wounds. She’s still reeling from how quickly he reacted, and he reassures her (probably at the sight of her bewildered/worried look) that law enforcement is on alert in the area. They’ll find him, they’ll arrest him. 

She tries to ask him why. Why would he protect her like that? His first instinct was to take the hit and ensure her safety first, and it doesn’t make sense. Comte reassures her again, joking that purebloods are sturdy. See? The wound’s already healed c:

[Even though I've been spending all this time trying to get my revenge on him, my heart stopped when he was attacked. As if to reassure me, frozen and speechless, Comte smiles gently. This person.......I can't do it. I can't kill him without meaning, without being sure of the truth.]

"...Comte, I can tell you're a good person. What happened that night, so many years ago?" Because even now, he's still protecting me. "Please...tell me the truth. I want to know." 

[I know this isn't the time or place, but if I don't know I can't worry about him with a clear head.]

TW: human trafficking and drugging unconscious

Comte concedes and goes into what happened that night so many years ago. Apparently he was acquainted with her parents long before the incident, and they fell into debt as a result of gambling. He approached their home in the hopes of paying them a visit, checking up on them, only to encounter tragedy. They intended to sell their daughter off and the man they ended up making a deal with more or less slaughtered them all in cold blood. The reason MC doesn’t remember any of this was because her parents drugged her the night it happened. No consciousness, no resistance.

"In that room suffused in the odor of blood and despair, I found you, MC." Her pained, struggling cry is what led him into that room--and seeing how desperately she was fighting to survive, he turned her against all his better judgement. Feeling certain she would hate him forever for the choice he made compounded by her terrible circumstance, he bailed, leaving her instructions and resources to survive on her own. 

"Sold off by your own parents, attacked by a serial killer, seconds from death. I thought....I thought telling you about it would only bring you pain, that it would leave you numb from the shock and despair. That's why I kept it from you.”

"...After turning you, I was consumed by regret. I felt certain you would hate me for the choice I made. So I left." [When I don't know what to say, he keeps talking.] "But I was worried about you even so. I tailed you quietly, making sure you were getting along okay. I was fully aware you wanted to kill me for what I'd done. Even so, I wanted to check on you." 

And that is where the line comes in.

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

He admits that he fell in love with her after a point. And she’s baffled, considering she’s been looking for every reason to tear him apart--assuming he was the perpetrator when he actually saved her life. She protests immediately, asking how he could possibly feel that way after the level of vitriol and judgement she’s levied against him when he was only trying to help.

"That's not true at all. At heart, you're a very kind young lady. You haven't raised a hand against me all this time. And even when you considered me to be a repulsive presence, you were worried about me." 

At this MC is conflicted--because his words are a further extension of his equanimity. He’s well aware that he brought about all the confusion by not being honest, but it’s also clear there was no ill intent involved in that decision. He was concerned; hitting her with that level of misfortune and senseless terror all at once could have been incredibly destructive to her health. (This isn’t to say he made the ‘right’ decision; I don’t think there is any right decision in the face of such a complex situation. Given he takes full responsibility for what happened and does his best to help her, I think that’s a fair response.)

This is essentially where the common rt ends. But because I’m feral for Comte and enjoy talking about him, I’ll finish up the summary and then go on to do my analysis.

After that riveting assault, MC is feeling very lost about how to move forward. Her fury at Comte’s injustice has all but evaporated, which means a complete re-evaluation of how she’s going to move forward from now on. Does she continue with her revenge anyway, still angry for the dishonesty? Or does she try something new?

If you do the premium end that means choosing to forgive Comte and climb him (as he deserves). Therefore I, being an intellectual, chose to ride him into the sunset.

The premium end begins with Comte taking her to another ball because the first one kind of went to shit and he feels bad about it (retraumatization was not in the plan...). And so MC basically does the same thing as the first time, just vibin and taking in the scenery, thinking things over. Comte’s concerned about her not having fun, so he approaches her to ask if she’s feeling okay. He makes it clear that he really doesn’t mind if she dances with someone else--even if he admitted his feelings for her. She doesn’t owe him anything, and he has no intention of imposing on her future.

"Whatever it is you choose to do, I don't mind. I just want you to be happy"

[This person is so, so gentle...His words penetrate deep and settle with warmth over my heart, my chest light.] "Comte I.......I don't want to dance with anyone but you." [I still don't know what to do about the future, but for now I think following what my heart is telling me is the best move] 

"!!!....well then, if you insist..."

Comte’s just:

He’s beyond shocked, but accepts her invitation when she confirms it’s what she wants to do. Leading her in all his infinite grace, MC marvels at his ability to dance so elegantly--even with a partner who’s deadweight, like her. She also finds it astounding how easily he makes her forget what they are, how easily she just enjoys the moment; no turmoil, no lingering in the worst of her miseries. She’s just...having fun? For the first time in so very long.

[Comte murmurs in the short distance, clear remorse on his face--as though he can't help it.] 

"MC, it's kind of you, honestly. That you'd give me the time of day, that you'd agree to dance with me. But I...I'm the one that turned you. There's no denying or escaping that fact. If it's you, I'm ready to accept any consequence. If you want me gone, you're free to attack me. If you just want to be as far away from me as possible--to live your life in peace and solitude--I will do everything in my power to help you." 

[He said it as if he was trying to convince himself. Like he was trying to remember why he couldn't assume more of this single dance together, why he couldn't let hope emerge from this single shared moment.] 

[.....I'm not that kind, Comte. I asked because it's you.....Feeling his warmth beneath my hands, I come to a decision.]

There’s a timeskip, and then MC--being the badass that she is--knocks on Comte’s door the night of the crescent moon. He lets her inside more than ready to accept her judgement, whatever it may be. MC asks about his feelings, seeks to confirm that he still loves her before she confesses herself. 

"Comte. Comte you said--that you loved me right?" 

"Yes that's correct...no matter how much you might hate me, these feelings won't change. I love you." 

[Hearing those words again sets my chest on fire. And I decide to tell him my honest feelings.] 

"I love you too. But......I've held a misguided grudge against you for so long, is it okay for me to love you now?" 

[Can that misunderstanding really be forgiven? Am I allowed to love you? Comte's eyes widen, and the breathtaking gold of his eyes shimmer/waver.] 

"...shouldn't that be my line? I mean even despite the circumstances, I still made the choice to turn you :o Can you really forgive me?" 

"...If I'm honest, I still have a hard time drinking blood and I'm a little scared of an immortal life. But......I think if I could spend that eternity at your side, I could find the means to smile again. And....the thing is....I also want to see you smile, to make sure you remember how to smile." 

".................." [Le Comte stared at me, before extending his hand. And he hugged me so, so tightly.] "MC......." 

[In that single word all the raw emotion of ten years can be heard. It was an indescribable sound--one that spoke of an unimaginable, impossible love. This person loves me so very dearly.]

The event ends with them biting each other as proof of their bond, essentially a vow to stay together moving forward. It felt very much like the shared act of biting was a promise of love, how vampires might get married or commit to each other romantically. The summary essentially ends here.

Here’s where the semi-meta comes in, because I literally just can’t stop thinking about the implications of this event. 

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

I just...I just don’t even know where to begin with how hard this line hits. Comte’s MS conveys this sentiment powerfully too, but there’s just something about them choosing to emphasize it yet again. The reason Comte falls in love every time has to do with his MC’s strength, her ability to surmount remarkable obstacles with so much poise. She’s deeply in tune with her reality, but no less relentlessly positive. She won’t burden others with her problems, and she’ll do everything in her power to move forward in constructive ways.

Even when every day was a living hell. Both Comte and Leonardo perceive eternity to be something of a curse; an endless sentence. Whether it means suffering boredom, reliving tragedy, or going nigh numb from the loneliness--being an immortal creature isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. 

And that’s exactly why I think he fell in love with this MC? I don’t think his feelings would have run half as deep if it was just anyone. He doesn’t strike me as the type to get attached easily. Because if he’s going to have a life partner, he needs someone who's going to be able to roll with whatever life throws their way for conceivable lifetimes. Somebody that loses heart quickly or is easily prone to delusion would suffer eternally, and the last thing he wants is to subject a person to that. MC gives him hope certainly, but she’s also emblematic of a kind of fortitude he both needs on a personal level and she would need to be beside him. It’s interesting because it’s a responsible choice on his part, but also just very befitting of his nature. He’s somebody that staunchly believes in the ability of good to prevail, but he���s also realistic about it. He knows doing the right thing isn’t necessarily easy; he does it because he could never live with himself if he did otherwise. 

(Think about Comte’s approach with Jeanne. It meant years of being on the receiving end of hatred he didn’t deserve, but he didn’t mind if it meant Jeanne could find a way to heal. It’s not the most practical or immediate solution, but it is the most restorative option. Comte doesn’t care that he spends years living alongside Jeanne’s outspoken displeasure and even violent outbursts. Why? Because it’s all a means to a greater, better end. If he has to suffer a little discomfort, he’s willing to make that sacrifice. That’s the thing with Comte; intentionality is everything. Comte’s intention is to help. Whether that’s a short or long process, a smooth or rough process, he’s going to do what he can within his means.)

That dynamic is reflected in his respect for this MC who is filled with fury on behalf of all the life that she lost unfairly, her relentless pursuit for the truth of what happened to her. Notice, she’s more interested in truth than retaliation. She refuses to lay an intentionally violent hand on Comte until she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was worthy of being on the receiving end of that retribution. Who does that sound like? If you guessed Comte himself, then you see where I’m going with this. What MC and Comte have in common is that they have a sharp emotional fortitude that they keep under tight, rational control. They will react with sizable passion or hurt or warmth--but their externalized reaction will vary depending on the situation. If it’s a minor annoyance, they have the patience to diffuse and try to alleviate the problem. If it’s on a larger scale or it’s an egregious violation of their personhood, then they up the ante accordingly.

Think about it. MC appears on Comte’s doorstep full of righteous rage and even when he confirms what he’s “done,” she hesitates. Her emotional intelligence is telling her something isn’t aligning properly; something isn’t quite right. She forgoes immediate revenge for proper answers instead. MC and Comte have this kind of balance, where they are more than happy to hear people out--but there is a limit to that propensity. Push them too far? They’ll bust your head. I guess I’m particularly interested in the way Comte seems to yearn for that kind of identification with a partner. Somebody who has similar values: not merciless, but also won’t bend when a situation requires confrontation.

All that being said, there was one more aspect of the story that I was endlessly interested in. I’m going to link the post here, in that it’s tangentially related to this meta; it really made me better able to articulate what I mean to say. 

“Never let generosity hold hostages; courtesy is an essential tool, but a cruel master.”

I’m gonna let that sink in for a moment.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, because it’s very rare that I read something once and I’m forced to read it several more times before I begin to understand it. My interpretation of that line is to say that benevolence can showcase your good will to others; it can be a reliable proof of good character, and a way to help someone. But the problem comes when people do conventionally/perceived generous things with the explicit intent of repayment by some measure. While it is only responsible to care for others as they care for you, you shouldn’t make impossible sacrifices with the expectation that the other person is indebted to you--especially if the other party had no ability to consent to that sacrifice.

How does this apply to Comte in this event story? Er, in almost every way humanly (vampirely?) possible, in my view. Comte turns MC into a vampire after seeing her plight, largely because he gets the impression that she was fighting for her life--had impossibly survived against all odds. The situation is complicated though. MC wasn’t fully conscious when it happened, so she doesn’t have a proper understanding of how everything went down. So what does Comte do? If he can’t bear to face her or reveal the truth of how horribly she died, he at least gives her every means to survive and makes sure she’s doing okay since she’s technically an orphan now. He doesn’t interfere with her life, or demand recognition for the life he gave her. He fully understands that she wasn’t able to properly consent to his decision in that split second moment, and even if she had he doesn’t see it as a debt she owes him now. He was able to help save her life for at least a little while longer, and so he did. It was as simple as that. He had the ability, she had the need. That’s the end.

But Comte’s emotional acuity doesn’t just end here. Even when she comes after him to kill him, he doesn’t respond with anger because he knows full well he hasn’t explained. Sure he’s sacrificing their relationship (the ability to get along on half-decent terms) but if it means she can find a reason to live, then so be it. He doesn’t lord that sacrifice over her head by any extension; he’s just sad about it because he thinks she’s a wonderful person, and he doesn’t want to be estranged from her. But in his view, her needs supercede his wants.

He doesn’t force her to do chores around the house during her stay, she does it to keep herself busy and search for the truth about his intentions. He even asks her to take breaks and look after herself first, more concerned with her well-being than the state of the mansion. At the ball, he doesn’t force her to linger around him or dance with him despite inviting her there and giving her the dress/jewelry to attend. He leaves her alone as she wishes, only glancing at her to make sure she’s doing okay. When he takes the hit from the violent stranger--a knife straight to the back--he jokes about being s t r o n k, never once blaming her for the wound he sustains no matter how brief.

He explains that he didn’t tell her the truth because it was incredibly traumatic, and it’s only in the safety of the moment--after years of having conceived of her own selfhood beyond the event--that she’s able to take the weight of what happened without falling apart. The premium end just keeps hammering this shit home. He openly tells her she doesn’t have to dance with him at all, that she doesn’t owe him anything just because he likes her. He’s aware it’s unrequited (he thinks) and he doesn’t go on and on about all the sacrifices he made for her with the expectation she’ll reciprocate. He just did what he wanted to do, nothing more. If she feels the same way by some miracle, that’s amazing! If she doesn’t, as it would be valid if not, that’s fair too; no hard feelings.

She has to be the one to invite him to dance and insist. She’s the one that smiles fondly when he’s telling her that she can choose whatever outcome she pleases, even if it means wanting to live as far as possible from him. There is no guilt trip, no expectation, and no pressure. She has the freedom to leave or stay. It is entirely dependent on her own will. For the first time in a lifetime of loss, her agency is restored to her. That’s huge.

She even admits that she feels bad about being so angry when he really was just trying to help, now that she can understand what he’s doing. And he’s openly shocked to hear it. He had no intention of expecting or asking for an apology. He understands it was his own imposition, both biting her and obscuring the truth, that led to her setting her mind on vengeance. 

I’ve probably hit it home harder than necessary, but Comte just feels like the epitome of good will in the best way possible. One can argue he’s a little selfish for keeping the truth from her for so long, but honestly? Given the horrific trauma of her situation--and his personal fear of making her miserable for an eternity when all he wanted was to give her a second chance away from all that hurt--I feel like his reaction was closer to considerate and reasonable. Comte doesn’t sacrifice anything he isn’t unwilling to give, or anything that would cripple him to give. Furthermore, he doesn’t make love out to be a kind of 1:1. He recognizes that while he might know her well, she doesn’t know squat about him. And, as such, he doesn’t expect her to trust his intentions or reciprocate his feelings in any capacity. It’s just a delightful surprise when she does. When he tells her that he loves her that first time, it’s an explanation. Not a guilt trip. He knows she won’t be satisfied years of protecting her simply because “he wanted to” and he promised her the truth, so he tells her. Not only that, in the aftermath he repeatedly reminds her she isn’t bound to him. She commits to him before he relies on any kind of active bond between both of them.

I don’t know, maybe I think too hard about it, but I feel like the older I get the more I see a shortage of this kind of fine-tuned caring about the other person in a relationship. I guess I just enjoy seeing a man give a woman her health and agency without treating her wellness/happiness like it’s a burden to his life? First and foremost Comte really is concerned with her self-actualization before his feelings can have any place in their relationship. And even when he does confess his love, it isn’t a way to force her to feel indebted to him; it’s an attempt to erase any false pretenses. MC loves him, not because she has nowhere else to go, but because he’s proven himself time and again a worthy companion. Always putting her first, always worried about her feelings, paying such close attention that he sees her to the core of who she is despite her iron front--kind, beneath all that hurt. They spend so much of this event really listening to each other despite such difficult circumstances, and it leads to a deep and abiding love against all odds. And I find that incredibly moving...

Oh and, before I forget? Let me circle back for a moment:

"...it amazed me. You never stopped trying, never stopped helping others or gave up on them--even while every day was a living hell for you."

The best part about this event is that--while Comte says this about MC--this is also precisely the reason MC falls in love with Comte too, even if it’s never stated outright. Because despite how lonely and tired he may be of eternity, no matter how many troubles he’s facing himself, he never stops trying to help and support others (namely MC) in any way he can.

Drops mic

[dawnsdarkside]

     so after drac sent me this picture and i showed it to emmy we both marveled at how much diluc actually looks like (we both picture) murata in a certain light and emmy said ‘you’d think she actually gave birth to him w how similar they look’ which opened the door for me to share this brainworm thats been wiggling in my head for some time now

     ive already claimed high and loud that diluc is one of the children of murata, i think thats arguably canon at this point given vennessa was one of them and its strongly hinted that diluc is vennessa’s descendant with her showing up in his idle animation and all the falcon (and various birds of prey) symbols associated with the ragnvindr family both in the game and the manga

     but going forward and until canon explicitly dismantles this idea, i’ll be taking for granted that diluc is not just one of the many scattered children of murata descended from a century old lineage, but he is, in fact, the direct son of murata (@/dehimmel specifically).

     sensing an upcoming war with the tsaritsa and knowing her lineage was very diluted as it had been centuries since she had had children of her own, she thought she’d benefit from producing a proper heir that might step up where her other descendants wouldn’t as there was too little fire left in their veins. she turned her attention to a man far from natlan who had been praying to her for a vision ever since he had been old enough to keep faith. while she did not deem him worthy of one, she took pity on him and offered to grant him another one of his wishes: blessing him with a child.

     it was purely strategical. she did not expect to love her son as much as she did, but it broke her heart to keep her end of the deal and let the man raise him on his own. she did leave him with his name, though. diluculum. ‘daybreak’. dawn.

     crepus refused to speak of her, insisting his son was his alone. at most, diluc unearthed rumors that his biological mother was some nameless foreigner who had been paid handsomely to be out of the picture the moment he found himself in his father’s arms. she visited him in his dreams throughout his childhood, though more and more scarcely as he grew up and came to accept he would never meet her in the flesh and lived a most fulfilled life in spite of that. 

     it was on the eve of his 13th birthday, right before he was knighted, that he worked up the nerve to directly ask his father, hoping the occasion would warrant straight answers. it wasn’t something that actively bothered him per se; he loved his family as it was. but for all that people insisted he was just like his father, diluc knew there was a fire in his heart that crepus did not share. he asked if his mother was alive, if she knew what he’d accomplished, if she cared. crepus simply told him he did not know and that he would not further speak of it.

     diluc never asked again.

[jojolightningfingers]

my year in fic: 2020

it’s. it’s truly inconceivable to me that i somehow managed to write 46k this year. That’s over half the total word count on my ao3 at time of writing. For the first time ever, I broke 10k (AND 15k!) on a single project. This same project was the first chapter fic I’ve ever seen to completion. It’s... been an outstanding year for me, really.

worklist under the cut

     Pruning: Yu Yu Hakusho, Yusuke/Kurama, 2.6k legitimately this fic was never supposed to exist. I wrote this completely unbeta’d in three days like a victim of demonic possession because ace fuckin goaded me and got me back on my bullshit and it gained so much more traction than i ever anticipated. i’d do it differently now, if it was a fic that i’d sat down and planned out, but? as is, i’m still rather fond of it.

     Empty Vessel: Fire Emblem - Three Houses, Dimitri/Felix, 1.7k this... this is the one that i kind of wish had gotten more attention than it did, but i’m not surprised that it didn’t. it was a challenge fic, something that i’d written to distract me and keep me writing between dry spells on working on bigger wips. This also was a fic that arguably wasn’t supposed to exist, what happened was i heard Like Real People Do for the first time and had a straight up religious experience, and this refused to leave me alone until i got it out. it’s rather purple, looking back, but i did a good job sticking to the challenge, i think.

     a dagger for impetuousness: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Bruno & Fugo, 2.8k I’ll be frank. I’m still not a hundred percent satisfied with how this one came out. Whether or not I’ll complete the series it belongs to remains to be seen, but I hope that someday in the future I will. There are things I still like about it (the way I indicated bruno’s problems with compartmentalization being foremost among them, I’m still pleased with myself over that), and things I don’t like about it. It’s an Okay Fic.

     through other eyes: Final Fantasy XV, Prompto/Noctis, 750 the shortest fic this year! another result of being brainwormed, one that I thought was good enough to post. It’s purposeless, really, more an exercise than anything else, but I remain fond of it.

     starshower: Dragon Ball Z + Ace Attorney, Clay/Future Trunks, 1.8k there’s a reason this one didn’t get it’s own post when I published it. no i will NOT elaborate. I got dared to, that’s all.

     a touch of home: Haikyuu!!, Hinata/Oikawa, 9.3k god. talk about an EFFORT of a fic. When I started it, i figured it’d only be 3k, maybe 4k if I was lucky and rambled. it got to be three times that, and I’m still trying to figure out how. The idea of those two having a fling overseas must have really appealed to some part of me, I guess. you can thank @hawberries‘ fabulous art for kickstarting it.

     Life on Gunsmoke: Trigun, Vash/various, 9k @ahkaraii‘s fusion comic made me finally sit down and binge trigun, during and after which I furiously wrote a shitload of little drabbles (some porny, some not) in ace’s dms, because if there’s one thing I love, it’s quasi-immortal character’s suffering. If there’s any other person on the planet who’s really into Vash/Livio, PLEASE step forward, i would like to talk to you.

     take hold of the sun: Bleach, Ichigo/Grimmjow, 17.8k I... what do I say about this. This fic happened so fast and mutated so quickly, I’m still having trouble processing it. Before starting it, I hadn’t so much as thought about Bleach seriously for roughly 10 years. I was legitimately working off of fuzzy high school memories of all the lore and the character voices, and the events of the arrancar and hueco mundo arcs, which I never even finished! at conception, I was going to have it be in two chapters. In chapter 1, grimmjow realizes and accepts that he is touch starved. in chapter 2, he acts to fix it. somehow. five chapters and a half-finished epilogue later, I’m here, winded. the previous longest fic i’d ever written before this year was in 2015, it was only 8k, and it took me 6 months to do. a touch of home took 4 months. i wrote all almost-18k of this... thing... in 2 months with almost no planning aforethought.

i’m happy with it. I am. unimaginably so.

I wanna break my record in 2021.

[plounce]

ema and mia :0?

EMA:

Sexuality Headcanon: just like her sister, she is a mean lesbian. except even meaner! she’s a bitch and i love her. i think her thinking edgeworth is hot in rfta is a classic example of “baby lesbian picks out a pretty man who is completely out of reach to have a crush on, but it’s actually just gaydar”

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary lesbian! she’s somewhat open about being nonbinary (has a small flag button on her bag, but doesn’t like... tell people at work etc), but she does not feel like explaining any further to people because it’s a lot of very personal feelings that are hard to articulate outside of her own head and she would just rather not deal with it. it’s not your fucking business!!!

A ship I have with said character: i love how like all the girls in aa are in the same age group so by the time they’re in their 20s it’s fine for them to meet back up and be like “oh? lesbian? trauma about family? mutual friends?” i think i will enjoy faraskye once i play aai, i think franema is cool (as i said before), and i think maya/ema could have a fun fwb thing. aa lesbian polycule when. if she has to get paired with a man in the background of another fic, i think throwing her together with clay is fine because at least they have similar interests. and honestly, if it’s well-written i’m okay with k/a/e.

A BROTP I have with said character: i love the dynamic of her, apollo, and klavier hanging out and getting a little bitchy. so fun. this fic is a really gen fic (with hints of k/a) about klavier picking up ema and apollo after they go drinking and it’s just a really good fic about the characters hanging out. read it.

A NOTP I have with said character: god i cannot articulate how much i hate kl*ma. it is such typical het shit of “wow this woman constantly expresses how much she dislikes this man and finds him annoying and that he doesn’t respect her enough when she’s doing her job! obviously this is romantic!” it’s not. stop. leave her alone.

A random headcanon: she had a superwholock phase and she doesn’t want to talk about it. in present canon she bitches on twitter all the time and has irony poisoning and she’s so so so funny. i would reply guy for ema skye to combat all the brainwormed klavier stans in her mentions due to how she occasionally posts an unflattering candid of klavier (new rare pic) with a mean caption (insulting to the parasocial icon). klavier has to constantly tweet “please do not harass @luminolskye we are friends she is just joking :)” to which ema qrts with “i am not joking.” ema has all notifications from people she doesn’t follow muted.

General Opinion over said character: she’s soooo fun i love her... the emotional core of rfta was so compelling to me, i loved the struggle between the sisters trying to save each other. i CANNOT wait to meet her in aa4 after the timeskip - i think her redesign is great and what they did with her character is so interesting + fits thematically with the rest of the aa4 cast. she’s soooo hot and she’s MEAN and BITTER but also SMIRKING and god i’m obsessed! i love her i think she’s so hot! honestly the most girlfriendy in the aa cast for me! cannot wait for her call klavier homophobic names after he flirts with apollo in court. wlw/mlm antagonism.

MIA:

Sexuality Headcanon: i think she’s a lesbian. i won’t hear any differently. the way she behaved in 3-1 at the blatant heterosexuality... i felt a kindred spirit in my soul. i don’t acknowledge miego

Gender Headcanon: she’s a woman! trans or cis, i don’t have strong feeling either way.

A ship I have with said character: LANAMIA LANAMIA LANAMIA! i knew lana was gonna say that line but “she was attracted to me” still hit me like a truck. OH MY GOD! law school gfs... i also think they’re interesting to compare to each other - the way they care so much about their sisters and deal with the responsibilities left on their shoulders after their parents exit their lives. now i am very sad thinking about how lana retreated into herself and grew cold after gant started blackmailing her, and what if mia tried to reach her, but lana refused........... very sad! very sad! very sad!

A BROTP I have with said character: i think her and phoenix just being her supportively bullying him is very fun. starting out going like I HATE SIMPS I HATE SIMPS I HATE SIMPS and then actually... hiring him... probably helping him through law school with studying! and then his first trial being like WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID? there’s also thoughts about how phoenix takes over for her as maya’s older sibling and how she supports him as a way to support maya... ugh! family units.

A NOTP I have with said character: i hate godot so god damn much. smug misogynist stop talking down to me. get away from him queen there’s a hot brunette in a scarf waiting for you at the prosecutor’s office wanting your strap

A random headcanon: i think mia studied extremely hard in law school, but i think in her spare time she was a fairly popular video essayist. phoenix helps pay rent on the office in the timeskip partially through ad revenue on her youtube channel.

General Opinion over said character: i love her i just wish... the game was less horny over her......... bro that shot of her dead body where her boobies are the literal focus of the image and you can almost see up her skirt... what the fuck? that’s the dead body of a woman i just talked to five minutes ago? also, because i’m currently playing aa3, i hate the stupid fucking scene where maya channels her so her badonkers can make the old man agreeable! it sucks! leave mia alone! regardless. i think she is hot and smart. and i wish i could just enjoy her titties in a tasteful depiction but noooo men are horny.

[lazykcdoodler]

Coco brainworm that won’t leave me alone

*spoilers, speculation and angst below*

Mama Imelda never hated music; just what it reminded her of and what it had done to her family. Maybe when Ernesto told her about the death of Hector, she’d resolved to put his picture on the ofrenda. She was hurt, and struggling- but she had loved him once. Coco loved him still.

Then one day, Ernesto’s first record hits the shelves of Santa Cecilia. Imelda picks one up, idly wondering what he’d come up with (he’d always been a deft guitarist, a decent singer- but composition had never been his strength.)

Her heart stops when she reads the song titles listed on the back.

These were Hector’s songs. She knew them by heart. He’d sung Un Poco Loco at their recepcion; she’d kissed him, then. Now she heard it from the mouth of every mariachi, and she feels cold.

Imelda doesn’t hate music. But in Santa Cecilia, de la Cruz is blasted from every corner, and her memories of her once loved husband sour. He left his family and died in a barrio miles from home, and shared private memories- precious memories- with his ambitious best friend, for the sake of fame and fortune.

(De la Cruz was a bit of a penjedo, but one she had grown up with. Hector’s best friend, Coco’s Tio Ernesto. The possibility of foul play never enters her mind.)

She first bans de la Cruz’s music from the house for Coco’s sake. If Un Poco Loco now makes her feel ill, Remember Me leaves her furious. Her daughter’s lullaby has become a bastardized love ballad, and Imelda refuses to let her hear it.

The record does well. Incredibly well. The town is so proud of its hometown hero. Imelda can’t get away from them- except in the privacy of her walls. Words like forgiveness and amends become anathema, as bitter proof of her husband’s betrayal and abandonment are sung from every corner and become woven into the national identity.

Imelda doesn’t hate music. She loved it before Hector, and she loved it after Hector. But as Ernesto de la Cruz becomes a household name in every house but hers, as thinking of his name and his fame mean thinking of Hector, who is and was music, even after his death, and the music lived on-

- she can’t think of music anymore. She won’t. She won’t let Coco think of it either.

When Dia del Muertos comes that year, Hector’s grave is cold and undecorated, his belongings sold and thrown away. His face is ripped from the family picture, carefully stored and hidden away by his little girl. His face is far from the ofrenda, and he stands on the other side of the bridge for the first of many cold and long decades to come.

The Rivera house is quiet. This year, Imelda is busy learning to make shoes in between moments of fond remembrance for everyone but her husband. She’ll give the day its proper attention later, but if she works hard enough now, she can drown out the sound of the mariachi outside.

The house stays quiet for years to come.