#brain needs a reboot

[schattenhonig]

Yep, that's me🫣

That is so me lol

[acmelab]

i like to imagine them doing mouse things u__u

[ragnarlothcat]

I know I’m a chronic overthinker but I’ve been in the same fandom for three years or so now and I was reflecting that writing seemed so much easier when I first started out. Just looking at my output since 2021 shows a clear trend: I’ve been writing much less and it’s been taking me way longer.

I figured that I’d gotten a little burned out and that three years is a long time to focus solely on the same two guys making out and that there’s a limit to the number of situations I can put them in before I start to get bored. But I don’t think that’s quite my problem because even now, a million years later, I have ideas for dozens of fics and AUs that would be interesting to explore or funny to write.

No, it’s that I’ve let the larger fandom overwhelm me and it’s left me constantly second-guessing my writing. And I don’t mean that I’ve gotten nasty comments or asks, because I haven’t! All the other fans have been consistently wonderful and fun people with really valuable insights. And it’s not that I’ve been obsessing over stats or comments or worrying about going against popular headcanons. I mean, I’m just as excited as anyone else to see an AO3 email in my inbox but I’m also perfectly happy posting niche fics for an audience of me and my three weirdest friends.

It’s more that after so long engaging with other fans and other fics and the general meta, I’ve ended up writing too self-consciously. I’ve read so many interpretations of canon events, analyses of characterization and comparisons between fiction and real-world politics over the years, and I’ve enjoyed them because I genuinely care about these stories and these characters! I like seeing what everyone else thinks and then considering their points of view, no matter how bewildering they might seem at first.

But now it feels like I’m writing almost defensively, like I have to justify every choice I’m making based on this enormous and contradictory body of information. Three years ago I’d have written a scene in a few thousand words and moved on to the next plot point with my momentum intact. Now I’m constantly wringing my hands over things like physical details (I guess he’s not exactly a redhead) or broader social implications (is this trope misogynistic?) or finicky logistics (these locations are too far apart for this scene to make sense) or controversial character nuance (does writing this guy as a kind, doting husband make me an abuse apologist???) and the result is that I’m paralyzed with indecision and a ridiculous need to support everything I write with a lot of context that isn’t especially fun to write or, I suspect, especially fun to read.

I’m aware that this problem is entirely in my own head and that no one has asked me for any of this. And it’s not that all those questions aren’t interesting and important things to contemplate. But I miss the days of sitting down at my laptop and going “wouldn’t it be funny if these dorks played a video game together?” and then writing exactly that.

I don’t know. Were my fics better three years ago? I kind of doubt it. I’ve looked back at some of them and if nothing else I now have a better grasp of what tense I’m supposed to be using. But I definitely had more fun writing those older stories, which maybe feels more important.

[yingren]

tbd, tiny activity update.

i've not felt super happy about my writing lately like there are some things that bother me with my own writing and then i get a lil bit of a writers block bc of it. things have been left sittin for longer than usual but i will get to them soon. if i'm slow or i seem "picky" with what i reply to, you know why. nothing personal, it's all me.

[lurkingshan]

I’ve been thinking about what makes the relationship between Jom and Yai in I Feel You Linger in the Air work so well despite the lead up to the romance being somewhat underwritten (which it plainly has been, especially on Jom’s side). I’ve discussed with some of my watch buddies that Tee Bundit gets bored of his own romance narratives and prefers to focus more of his attention on everything else happening around the romance (see: Step by Step), and he has plainly been doing the same in IFYL. So why is this romance working so well despite that?

First, I must give Tee credit for landing the big moments, even if he’s gliding over some of the building blocks to get there. Yai reciting that love poem, his series of increasingly obvious confessions and Jom finally opening up to receive them, their escalating physical desire, that olive oil scene, their dance both in reality and fantasy, their first sex scene, the intimate talk in the tub, Yai taking Jom to see the fireflies—this is all peak swoony romance. And crucially, he is grounding all of these moments quite intentionally in a sense of foreboding and impending doom, so even as we find joy in these two falling in love, we never forget what they have to lose and the danger that is lurking all around them. This works to tether the romance fantasy elements to something that feels more real, making the entire relationship feel both more vital and more fraught.

Second, I think the characterization for Jom is strong enough for us to fill in the gaps around his feelings for Yai. Jom met Yai after the worst day of his life and on the heels of realizing his lover had betrayed and strung him along for years. Yai’s earnestness and sincerity, his straightforward way of communicating, and his confident assurance that he wants to be with Jom no matter what must all be a balm to Jom’s hurt after what Ohm did to him. Jom has become more calm and centered as his relationship with Yai has progressed; he no longer seems anxious and scared at all times despite his continued awareness that he’s in a dangerous situation. You can read that as Jom simply allowing himself a pleasant distraction amidst his confusion and turmoil, but to me he just seems more centered and secure with Yai. His feelings for Yai seem genuine and his desire to be with him grows stronger each episode. I’ve noticed how much more Jom is smiling in these last couple episodes, and it doesn’t even feel conscious on his part. He just likes Yai and it’s coming through loud and clear.

Third, I must give it up for the actors. Nonkul and Bright are killing it in these roles, and they have created a very natural chemistry that can quickly ignite into intensity. Their depiction of physical desire is tangible; I can feel it in my own body when the tension between them ratchets up. They play beautifully off each other, and not just in the way they physically touch; everything from their body language to their facial expressions to their eye shine when they look at each other to their vocal intonations is just loaded with feeling and palpable chemistry. This is a story based in a fated connection and likely some form of reincarnation and inter-dimensional time travel, and so the pull between them needs to feel strong enough that you believe they would come together over and over again through time in all their various forms. We need to believe this relationship is something they will fight for and that Jom will mourn when he inevitably gets forced back to his own time, and they are absolutely selling it.

IFYL is delivering some of the best Big Romance we’ve seen in bl this year, despite having a story that is playing with a lot of big themes and is interested in a lot more than the romance. It’s a really remarkable show and another sign of how the genre is evolving.

[gothamsfinestdummy]

Painted a monstrosity

[artpro86]

Screenshot Redraw 3

Sometimes, these two lovebirds just can’t help but get lost gazing into each other’s eyes ❤️🥰🧡

[lord-aldhelm]

You know.....

I was ripping some video caps last night for my next gifset, and this was one of the frames. Actually he was making this face for 4 frames, but this was (one of) the funniest.

(I laughed way too hard at this, sorry not sorry)

Aldhelm | The Last Kingdom 3.02

[therealhayyhay]

Nah because Brain needed some anger management or something. Like, Bro would get mad at ANYTHING and sometimes Pinky legit didn’t do anything. Sometimes Pinky would say something random and Brain was like “Imma beat the shit outta this guy” 😭

[ashtonisvibing]

say it with me hollywood

not everything needs a reboot

not everything needs a reboot

not everything needs a reboot

not everything needs a reboot

[crowlore]

i remember it used to be a bit of a fandom pet peeve of mine that some people would forget that the gung ho guns and eye of michael were two separate groups with some membership overlap but then stampede came along and made the eom into a project of conrad’s backed by knives. another example of how the reboot feels like bad fanfiction.

[good-beans]

Writing day! See a play with my sister day! Maybe art day!

[roychewtoy]

impaled

[laertesthelocalstranger]

Laertes!! Laertes pretty girl!

We really need to have a talk sometime soon, I think? Unless you want to forget what happened in the Institute.

Please, can we make out a time to meet? Anywhere you'd like, I'll take you. Say the word and I'll be there.

- @pleiades-cabin-talk

Sure! There's a cafe by the institute my brother likes a lot, why don't we check it out? Pretty sure I'm free Saturday afternoon, if that works for you?

[rubberhosetoons]

Started obsessing over my PatB OC so now you are all subjected to my mind

[welcometogrouchland]

May I ask about your Jason Todd idea? <3

Hm, okay so. How to lay this out sensitively since I know it might be a tad controversial...

Prefacing by saying I'm not an expert on the minutias of Jason characterization. I like him when he appears, I think the battle for the cowl/Morrison era and some parts of modern era for him are Weird and Bad, but I'm not Jason scholar (for that I'd say maybe check out @/tumblingxelian and their great video essays), I'm just trying to think of what might be an interesting step forward for him.

First, the canon facts

Jason got lobotomized and has panic disorder on steroids. By the end of Gotham War (specifically when Jason was. Flying the batplane into the asteroid. God I can't believe that's the plot) he was finding it in himself to power through said panics

In Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #12, the joker gives Jason a "low dose" of joker venom, which has an ambiguous effect on Jason, allowing him to power through the fear (which joker explicitly states is still very much present, just not physically debilitating, like when Jason couldn't run over in either Catwoman #57 or #58, the one with the kid in the building) even though he'd been able to do that sans venom over in Gotham War, like I previously stated.

The effect of said joker venom seems to be lingering for now, minus the creepy grin side effect it gave Jason over in that man who stopped laughing issue, as seen in the latest batman issue (number is escaping me rn, #147??). He still has the stutter which is a shorthand for fear, he's drawn with fearful expressions by Jorge Jimenez, but he says that he's "working through it" thanks to the chemicals

This is both super interesting and kind of maddening as it doesn't completely remove the consequences of what happened in Gotham War, but is trying to sweep them under the rug and get back to business as usual. I, however, propose making said consequences front and center like a fashionable urn on a mantle piece:

Since it's never stated how exactly the joker venom works, and I think the current answer is "it works how the story needs it to" I've decided that because it's a low dose, it eventually wears off. And when it wears off, Jason's back to square one in terms of mental state. Ergo, if Jason doesn't want to live the rest of his life as quaking shivering husk of his former self...he's going to need more.

(read more for the meat of things)

So, Jason self medicates for a condition given to him by the father he has endlessly complicated feelings towards with a cure invented by a man who represents everything he hates in the world who once tried to take everything from him.

Which, insert poetic cinema gif here, I'm quite proud of myself for that one.

Anyway, there's a lot of directions you could take this. Personally I think it'd be interesting to explore Jason trying to get back into the drug trade like he did in UTRH (FULL TRANSPARENCY I HAVEN'T READ THE FULL COMIC, I KNOW BROADSTROKES BUT IM NOT GONNA TRY AND MAKE PARALLELS) as he tries to use the resources (production plants and other drug runners who can hook him up with samples of joker toxin/similar stuff you can probably find around Gotham) to manufacture his own cure that means never having to go back to the joker again. Maybe he ambushes a joker toxin chemical production plant to get his own supply, and then Jason uses this as his foothold back into that world.

This isn't necessarily me saying we should regress Jason alll the way back to UTRH, that was before his anti-hero era and I'm not willing to fully shoot him back into the past. I just think that's not how you tell good stories in a medium like comics. But it'd inherently be a little different just bc he's doing it for different, slightly more self motivated (depending on your take on villain Jason) reasons and the people around him would have a different reaction to it.

Anyway, all sorts of problems can arise! Depending on how you wanna characterize Jason (wayward son who longs to be back in the fold or black sheep who doesn't play by daddy's rules, etc) he can either a) try and hide this criminal enterprise from his giant family full of nosy detectives (good idea there jay) OR do it out in the open, trying to justify himself but still putting himself on the opposite side of the family again (not the law bc that boy hasn't been on the 'right' side of it since he died)

There's also the fact that Jason now needs to take something 24/7 in order to live his life. He essentially can't be without it, he's dependent on it, in fact he'd get sick without it despite any adverse effects it may have on him (which are guaranteed, I mean. No clinical trials)

I imagine it'd be easy to become addicted to it in some way.

And uh. This is the part where it works slightly better as a fanfic pitch than an actual comic pitch. Because as much as I think it'd be such an interesting beat for Jason's character considering his fraught history with addiction and drugs (looks away from that one urban legends story where he suggests terrorising addicts to get to the suppliers and bruce lectures him. The easiest way to make Mr "we don't sell drugs to children" sympathetic and you beefed it)

I also fully recognise that this is a sensitive topic that DC doesn't have the best track record with (although addicts aren't a monolith and feel a number of ways about addictions portrayals in comics) and that there's probably some pitfalls inherent in the premise, namely bc of Jason's background as an impoverished kid and his grey morality, and how those play into stereotypes of addicts. Addiction is already such a misunderstood and stigmatized condition that I imagine playing with it with an antihero might be enough to turn some people off. Addiction is not a moral failing and I'd hate to write it as a moral failing of Jason akin to his willingness to kill, etc.

But with all that said, I think that stereotypes are primarily harmful because of their shallowness. They inhibit understanding of groups labeled "other" by presenting them in simplistic ways that don't portray richness or complexity. And I think a truly good red hood comic could give both sympathy and complexity to Jason, even as an addict. If anything, Jason is a popular character (mostly) and there could be something nice about seeing a main character go through what you're going through, gritty details and all. YMMV (can we bring that back btw?) and it depends on execution. There's a lot of ways it could go wrong, but seeing as it just lives as a hypothetical rn, I think there's also a lot of ways it could go. I mean, not right, it's a downer story beat for Jason but it's mostly meant to be interesting and a vehicle for more stories as Jason navigates it, ya know?

Anyway, I have a lot of spiels littered in my notes app and discord DMs that elaborate on all this (how this could work as act 1 in a broader Jason story where his little operation goes to shit and he has to hit the road (jack) and maybe do some character development for better or worse. I'm a sucker and wanna say better- not squeaky clean better but. Yknow, finding himself to an extent. I recognise I'm a sap and a fool tho. Or how a new outlaws team could factor into either of those eras (since I do like Jason with an outlaws team. It gives him an excuse to exercise his compelling relationships and dynamics with other characters without having to constantly tip-toe around the elephant in the room whenever he's with the batfamily all the time. He just needs a good lineup) but that's all for another time

... though without elaborating on the vision in my head it kind of just sounds like my pitch is "Jason gets addicted to his hyper-anxiety medication" BUT I SWEAR ITS MORE THAN THAT.

It's like. If Jason has struggled as a character (and this is very subjective on my part so feel free to disagree) because he has compelling relationships with all of the batfamily, but also has compelling grey morality that makes it hard to capitalize on those relationships, without the conflict always coming to "Jason stop killing!" "Nuh uh!" OR just being ignored, and the main way writers have addressed this is via reboots instead of arcs...

Then giving Jason and the bats:

real, legitimate and fresh reason for jay to be mad at Bruce (taking their relationship of love with very little understanding to it's most dramatic conclusion)

give the family a real reason to want to bring him back into the fold (feel bad about the lobotomy and it would be pretty immoral to let Jason waste away slowly and painfully because of something Bruce did)

capitalize on all the ways Jason is sympathetic (bc the addiction is a natural lead into his backstory, which is one of his most sympathetic elements)

And the ways in which he's very out of step with the bats post-resurrection (I'd be mad asf too if i came back to life just for my dad to a) not avenge me and b) LOBOTOMIZE ME meanwhile the cunt ass clown giving me my meds is just lurking out there).

Idk it's not a sophisticated pitch as of this moment but I think a real chef (writer) could cook something w/ this