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lizzypotter14 · 1 year

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I Will Stand By You - Part I

Thanks @swimmingismywholelife and @chelseagirl98 for your help and support

Warnings: angst

I hate seeing Chris so sad. He seems a shell of himself, and I am blaming the entire Chelsea organization for it. I really hate been away from him; not being able to hold him in my arms.

Currently, I’m in Hershey, Pennsylvania, with Kelley, Mark, DeeDee and Avery watching the Chelsea vs Bournemouth match. We had been practically glued to the TV, for the past hour, waiting for Chris to come into the pitch, but after 84 minutes, the last Chelsea’s substitution was made, and Joao Felix was in, crushing the entire family, and myself. Disappointed and upset, Mark and Kelley drafted away from the living room with Avery by their side. Devyn and I remained on the couch, watching the game. Joao scored another goal for the Blues, making the final score 3-1.

DeeDee squeezed my hands tight. “It will be okay, y/n. I know is hard, but all we can do is be there for him when he calls and is ready for it”.

A lonely tear escaped from my eyes. “He needs me there. I just know it, DeeDee. H-he will start spiraling out of control, looking at the comments in social media, and believing that he is not good enough”, I wiped away the tears that kept coming down.

“Maybe he will, maybe…”

Right before she could end the comment, the game was over and an image of Chris leaving the subs bench and heading to the tunnels was plastered on the tv screen. I noticed immediately how his shoulders were slumped, and his head was down avoiding any eye contact. And just like that, my heart broke a little more for him.

“Mom…dad…, yelled DeeDee, we should call Chris as soon as possible”.

Kelley was the first to return into the living room. One look at my tear strained face was all the indication need it to call her husband. Her mother’s intuition knows that there is more than a friendship between her youngest son and y/n but neither has said anything and her daughter is keeping a tight lid on the subject.

To say that I was worried about Chris would be an understatement. I cannot erase from my mind the rejected figure walking back to the tunnels. Finally, I excused myself from the Pulisic family and went outside for some fresh air and to clear my head. I lost sense of time, just lost in the pretty scene in front of me. Suddenly, I became aware of another person next to me.

“Mom and dad are getting worried. Chris is not answering his phone, and they had been trying for the past two hours. I don’t want to show it, y/n, but I’m scared for him”.

It was my turn to offer comfort to DeeDee, so I hugged her as tightly as possible. A thought came quickly, and I just went with it. “Let me call Kepa. Maybe he will answer his phone and can tell us about Chris. Normally, I will call Ben, but with that injury, I’m not sure if he will answer”

Without wasting more time, I took my phone from my back pocket and dialed Kepa’s number. In less than two rings, the Spaniard goalkeeper answered the phone. “Estas llamando para saber de Chris?” (¿Are you calling about Chris?), Kepa’s voice is low, which tells me that he doesn’t want to be heard.

“Si. Siento mucho haberte llamado, pero estoy super preocupada por él. Su mama y su papa han estado llamándolo, pero él no ha contestado el celular” (Yes, I’m so sorry for calling you but I am very worried about him. His mom and dad had been calling and he is not answering his phone”).

“Kai y yo también estamos preocupados por él. En las pasadas prácticas, él ha estado muy callado. Chris está presente, por lo menos su cuerpo, pero su cabeza no está con nosotros. Él está pretendiendo que todo está bien, pero nosotros lo conocemos bien y sabemos que no es cierto. Solamente poseemos la mitad de Chris con nosotros” (“Also, Kai and I are worried about him. During practice, he is super quiet. Chris’s body is there but his mind is somewhere else. He is pretending that everything is okay, but we know him well and it is not true. We only have half of Chris with us”).

“Kepa… porque no me han dicho esto antes? (Why has no one mentioned this before?)

A muffled conversation can be heard through the line, which I assumed was between Kai and Kepa.

“Y/n, puedes venir a Londres? Solamente tu”, whisper Kepa once again (Y/n, can you come to London? Just you”), whisper Kepa once again.

“Me estas asustando, Kepa. Pero la respuesta es sí. Voy a reservar mi pasaje tan pronto cuelgue contigo” (“Kepa, you are scaring me. But the answer is yes. Once I hang up the phone, I will make my reservation”).

“Llama a Sophia o Andrea con los detalles. No queremos que te preocupes. Kai y yo estamos seguros de que él te necesita. Su familia puede tener buenas intenciones, pero en este momento tu y solamente tu presencia en lo que el necesita. La presión aquí es suficiente sin la necesidad de su familia haciendo preguntas que no tienen respuesta” (“Call Sophia or Andrea with your flight details. We don’t want you to worry about anything else. Kai and I are sure that he needs you. Maybe his family has good intentions but at this exact moment he needs to be with you and only you. Here, there is a lot of pressure without his family adding to it; asking questions that have no answers”).

“Gracias por todo, y por favor dile lo mismo a Kai. Tan pronto tenga los detalles del vuelo llamare a las muchachas. Besos y abrazos y que tengan un buen viaje de regreso” (Thank you both for everything; please let Kai know this. Once I have the flight details, I will call the girls. Hugs and kisses, and have safe trip back”)

“Tú también, y/n. Adiós y cuídate mucho” (Same to you, y/n. Bye and take care”)

“Why did you have that entire conversation in Spanish? “Is Chris, okay?”, said DeeDee holding my shoulders once I hung up the phone.

“Sorry DeeDee. It is easier to speak with Kepa in our native language. I will need your help but please don’t ask me questions that I’m not completely capable of answering. I’m about to book the red eye to London for tonight. I will need a ride to NY”.

“What? What’s going on with Chris? I’m going with…”Devyn started yelling, so I must cover her mouth to avoid alerting the rest of the family.

“DeeDee, I need you to calm down. Kepa just asked, and suggested, for me to head to London. You know how Chris is. He will not ask for help, and I need to be there. I’m physically aching for him, DeeDee. I just must be there, please understand”.

My longtime friend and confidante, despised our age difference, stared at me for what felt like forever. Just a handful of people were aware of the true nature of Chris and I relationship. Devyn, as my close friend and holder of my secrets, was the first one to know. From the Chelsea boys, Kepa, Kai, Chilly and Mason were part of our guarded secret. Chris and I chose it that way and had decided to open about our dating status, to both parents once I was done with this semester and his current season was over. Navigating our relationship has been extremely difficult, and sometimes complicated, especially with me living and going to school in the States and he is playing in London, but we make it work

.“Okay. I will help you, but I still don’t like it. He is my baby brother, and I want to protect him, y/n. You know how close we are and, just like you, I hate seeing him unhappy”

I embraced my best friend. Of course, I knew how she was feeling. The love between Chris and Devyn was so deep. Sometimes, I feel for Chase; he is the odd man out with the siblings.

“Thanks, DeeDee. I love you so much for it. I promised that, as soon as I know more about what’s going on, I will let you know”.

“And I will hold you to it”.

In no time, DeeDee helped me book my ticket, which, with a lot of luck on our side, was set for tonight. Now, the second major obstacle needs to be tackled. Friday was my last exam, and once done I headed to the Pulisic residence to spend a month with them prior to us meeting with Chris for the Nations League semi-finals. Explaining to Kelley that I was leaving with no warning was going to be difficult, especially since we already think that she is onto us about Chris and I relationship, and she is just waiting for the right moment to pound on us. So, I let DeeDee handle her mom.

“I don’t understand why you must leave now. You were going to stay with us for a month and then head together to Las Vegas and Jupiter. Why are you suddenly changing your plans? Where are you going anyway? And to add to all this, Christian is not answering our calls. I’m so worried about him. Maybe, Mark and I should just head to London and see for us that he is okay”.

Panic started setting in, but I should have no worries about it.

“Mom, you need to stop. Chris is 24 years old, and he will call us when he is ready. Y/n will be back with us before you know it, and everything will be okay. I will have to apologize for not mentioning the gift that I purchased for her. She has worked hard at school, in addition to helping me with Avery and my business. She didn’t know about it until 20 minutes ago, so it was not her fault. Stop worrying”, said DeeDee trying to get her mom’s focus away from y/n.

“Well, I don’t like it. Her parents trust us to take care of her and…”“Stop mother, please! It will be okay, and you know y/n deserves this and so much more!”

“Oh well. Who is going to take y/n to the airport? Maybe Mark can…”

“Mom, I will be taking her and spending the night in NY. Just take care of your precious grandchild for me until tomorrow”.

“Okay, just drive safely. Let us know when you arrive at the hotel, Devyn, and y/n, let us know when you arrive at your mysterious destination”.

“I will, Kelley”

“I will, mom”

Packing was done in record time, and after a round of goodbyes, we started our driving to NY around 3:00 pm. I tried calling Chris, but the call went straight to voice mail. At the end, I opened the WhatsApp app and left a text for him…”Babe, I love you so much. Thinking of you as always. Just know…I’m here”. I can see the two blue check marks indicating that he has read the message, but for whatever reason he has chosen not to answer.

I just sigh loudly and kept staring out the window.

“Did he see the message?”

I just nodded. Devyn took her hand away from the steering wheel and squeezed my hands resting on my lap

.Few hours later, we arrived in NY and straight to the hotel to wait for my time to head to the airport. Both Sophia and Andrea had my itinerary and assured me that they were both picking me up at Heathrow. If I were honest, I would have become anxious and a little nervous.

Unconsciously, I started replaying my last face time call with Chris. I was so worried about my last final on Friday, and he was making sure that I was calm and ready for it.

“Princess, you are ready for this. You have done everything possible and impossible for it, and I know you will do great. Just focus on the rewards after everything is over, especially when we see each other soon. Counting the days until you are properly back in my arms, and I can kiss and spoil my beautiful and smart girlfriend”.

Blushing, I said “babe, thank you! I needed to hear this, especially from you. I miss you so much, Chris, and to be honest, I think that my longing is adding to my stress. Having my personal countdown to see you. I missed cuddling with you!”.

“Soon, baby girl. Before you know it, my arms will be around you. I cannot wait myself. I miss my gorgeous girl so much. Jealous of the boys, as they have their girlfriends with them all the time but also so proud of all your accomplishments. Things will get better once we let the cat out of the bag. Should be easier to be open about our feelings. Please remind me why I told you to keep it secret for a while? Lack of judgment on my part for sure”.

“Y/n, y/n, are you with me?”

I was startled by DeeDee and caught daydreaming, completely lost on that last conversation.

“Sorry. I was just replaying my last conversation with Chris and…” but I stopped talking. My phone started vibrating in my hand with an oncoming text message. A look at the screen showed me that it was from Christian.

“I need to answer this”. Leaving the room, I closed the door to the bedroom and opened the app. I never hide things from Chris’ sister, how could I? But this is different.

Opening the message immediately, I started reading. “I love you so much, baby girl. I’m not in a good place right now. I feel suffocated and everything seems to hit me from all angles and at the same time. I-I don’t want to drag anyone with me. Just…need space”.

I started crying. This message hurts my soul. This gentle, kind, genuine and hard-working man is hurting by the words and actions of people that cannot see clearly and are looking for a scape goat or posses hidden agendas. I cannot let Christian push me or our love away. Wiping away my tears, I started typing an answer.

“Christian, love, please stop doing this to yourself. You are more than enough. I need you to understand my next words. In a short period of time, you have accomplished and sacrificed so much. No one has the right to say anything different. Let’s talk baby. Don’t push me away. I will not let you do that. I’m right here and I’m not running away. You are too important for me to let anything, or anyone come between us. I’m in love with the man, not the footballer”.

He saw the message but again chose not to answer. I need to be with him now.

I stayed so long in the room, that finally DeeDee came looking for me. She switched the lights on, and with one single look at my face, she sat down on the bed next to me.

“I’m not going to pry. Just know that I’m here for you and for Chris. I promised you not to ask questions but… I’m just worried about you. I’m deeply concerned for you both. Let’s just get you ready; it is time for you to head to the airport and help my brother. H-he doesn’t need his blood relatives, but he needs you. Even I can see that”.

“Oh DeeDee. He doesn’t want me there. He just wrote that”, newly fresh tears rolling on my face.“He needs you there, even if he doesn't realize it. He is a Pulisic, and he is stubborn. That is how he has made it this far. But once he sees you, things will change. I know my brother well, and you are his weakness. Please trust me in this”.

“I trust you. It is just…”“Nothing. Get ready. You have a plane to catch and a stubborn boy to straight up”

@chelseagirl98 @masonsrem @neverinadream @pulisicsgirl @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @thoseboysinblue @lovelynikol16

#christian pulisic

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iamacanal · 23 days

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Everton That

Losing out on the Champions League because of a roof tile.

Conceding a goal because Yobo had stopped to tie his shoelaces.

Using three goalkeepers in one game.

Having lost the the first keeper during his warm-up when he fell over the "keep off the grass" sign.

The youngster who fell off the bus and broke his leg on his way to a trial at the club.

Bournemouth 2018. That shithouse Smith getting sent off and Keane scoring to take the lead within minutes of each other and for one brief moment I experienced joy. Then Baines said "fuck joy" and gave away the softest penalty you'll ever see.

On the subject of Bournemouth waves furiously.

Might as well mention Newcastle 2-2 as well. Sorry Dad.

Thomas Mhyre losing a contact lens.

Going on an unbeaten run against United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Spurs but losing out on Europe because the coach decided to get sentimental against a relegation bound Fulham. No, honestly Marco you should totally start a creaking Jags against Mitrovic what's the worst that could happen.

Your striker being unavailable because he's currently banged up in Barlinnie is a perfectly normal thing that could happen to any perfectly normal club.

Graeme Sharp being bitten by his own dog.

Mo Johnston getting attacked by a rocking horse.

Kanchelskis

Samuel Eto'o played for Everton.

Materazzi crying. (honourable mention for him casually cradling a baby at his first press conference)

Throwing your toddler at a bemused Lyon player.

Neville Southall's sit in protest.

Neville Southall's "crap" interview explaining said protest. (and the reaction of Norman Whiteside)

The self proclaimed Best Referee in the World being brought back for one match only and doing an absolutely wonderful job.

Grim Reaper Vs Moyes. (I know it was a publicity stunt but it counts)

Mumbles something about a headlock and the resulting sassy police statement.

Howard Kendall gathering the players in a circle on the pitch post Coventry like naughty schoolchildren.

I know they'd left the club by then but accidentally blinding your best friend in a shooting incident feels uniquely Everton.

Inadvertently revealing you've signed Jonny Evans because you haven't turned down the mic on a training video.

Jonny Evans signs for Manchester United.

No one eats Duncan Ferguson's fish.

Jonestown but make it Scouse.

"Or Satan as I like to call him". The greatest moment in any football phone-in ever. (actually there was the one who got cut off for saying something about a non Everton player and a watch belonging to their granddaughter but)

Sammy Lee's rallying battle cry.

Ellesmere Port. iykyk

Mr Testicles

Davide Ancelotti speaks Italian. He's like so amazing. Swoons.

Leon Osman revealing in his autobiography that Martinez didn't bother defending corners in training because they didn't count as real goals. Which you know seems sort of relevant to the whole Martinez experience.

It taking a good year or so for this to become a thing because clearly nobody had bought that autobiography.

This absolute monstrosity

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