#bottle so i was kinda dehydrated. well kinda. i literally got a headache from not drinking enough. haven't brushed my teeth in days. haven'

[ronanlynchbf]

i've literally been malfunctioning for DAYS can it stop?

[khadij-al-kubra]

Thomas in Wonderland  (ch 3)

Characters: Thomas (fictional), Virgil, Roman, Patton, Logan, Remy, Emile, Joan, Talyn, Deceit, Nate, The Dragon Witch, fan adopted short vid characters

Word Count: 1739

Summary: Thomas gets trolled by flowers and has a good cry

Author’s Note: Hey everyone! So happy to see that people are having fun with this story so far. I know i’m having a lot of fun writing it! Also big news is that I now have an AO3 account! So you can check this and other stories out there if you’d like. As always I am open to any writing critiques or tips you may have, and any likes, comments or reblogs would be immensely appreciated! Also please let me know if you would like to be tagged in future chapters for this fanfic or any of my other future writings. So last time, we were just entering a lovely garden...  

Flowers & Floods

Thomas couldn’t say for sure how long he’d been walking for, since, he still couldn’t decipher the Black Rabbit’s watch, but at best guess probably a good 15-30 minutes. He wished there was more of that growing grape soda. Not only because it would’ve been nice to get back to his normal size (being so small got to be pretty disorienting after a while), but also he was really thirsty from walking so much.

“Maybe Talyn has a point about carrying a travel water bottle everywhere,” Thomas said to himself. “But carrying it around gets cumbersome. Plus it always bangs against your leg    and then you get a little bruise on my thigh. Then again, if you had some water on you then maybe you wouldn’t feel so dehydrate and cranky now.”

He sagged a bit at his own reasoning, knowing he had a point. Was it worse to lose an argument with yourself or better?

“Well, at least it’s a beautiful day.” he mused to himself, trying to keep up his moral.

And it truly was lovely beyond that tiny door into this larger than life garden. The sapphire sky was bright overhead above the canopy of big grass blades, and the sun shone through the broad green leaved making them look like sheets of emerald. The soil beneath his sneakers was slightly soft, not enough to sink into and get stuck but it felt like a vacation for his tired feet. Clear drops of dew still lingering on the stems shimmered like crystal bobbles. Sure there was the occasional beetle crossing, but hey, at least there weren’t any spiders.

But oh, the flowers were by far the most beautiful part. There were so many different kinds, some he recognized others he didn’t. And their natural perfume gave off a heady aroma that was present yet not overwhelming. Their colors were so vibrant they almost looked like candy, yet Thomas could tell they would no doubt be velvety to the touch. And they were HUGE! True, that was only because he was tiny, but still.

Thomas sighed. “It’d be a lot more enjoyable if I actually knew where I was going.”

He still wanted to find the Black Rabbit, but only knew he’d come through this giant garden. There was no way else he could have gone. If there was actually a path then Thomas was too small to see it. There was a chance he might’ve already been on it, but from way down to the ground he had no way of knowing for sure. Thomas had hoped that by keeping straight (heh) he’d eventually get somewhere, but there was nothing around that told him where anywhere was. No people. No signs. Nothing.

“It’s too bad I can’t just ask the flowers for directions,” Thomas said. “Bet they could tell me where I am. Not that flowers can talk.”

“Oi! Who says we can’t talk?”

“GAH!” Thomas jumped back, started by hearing a voice other than his own for the first time since the Black Rabbit. “Who said that?”

“Up here ya twat!”

“And over here.”

“And here.”

The voices had Thomas turning in circles. Finally he decided to follow the first one’s advice to look up and his jaw dropped. He was staring into the face of a petunia. As in the flower literally had a face with eyes and a mouth and all.

“Wha-was that…you?” Thomas asked.

“Well of course it was me, who else?” Judging by the pout and the way its petals bent to rest on its stem, it appeared to be a properly put out Petunia.

“And me!” said an Iris.

“And me,” said a Tiger Lily

“And me too,” said a Daisy.

“Me, me! Pay attention to me!” said a Rose.

Thomas could only gape as the flowers around drooped down around him, their eyes scrutinizing every inch of him harder than a live stream audience. One part of his brain told him to close his mouth and that it was rude to stare. Another part of his brain told him HOLY HECK! THESE FLOWERS CAN TALK!?!? He went with the latter thought.

“HOLY HECK, YOU FLOWERS CAN TALK!?”

“Well of course we can talk,” said the Iris. “What ever made you think we couldn’t? That’s pretty presumptuous of you.”

“Well it’s just, flowers don’t typically talk where I’m from.”

“Umm why does this little sprout assume we’re all flowers?” said a Dandelion. “You don’t think weeds should be proud of who they are?”

“Oh! Well of course you can,” said Thomas. “I didn’t mean to offend any plant.”

Of all the things that had happened so far to Thomas today, this was by far the most curious.  Who would’ve thought that a bunch of would flowers could be so, well, mean? Still, they were the only ones around who could possibly help him, so he took a breath to calm his growing headache and put on a friendly face.

“Actually, I was wondering if you lovely, uh, flora could help me. See, I’m looking for a Black Rabbit. He passed through here and I have—“

“So what sort of a plant are you anyway?” asked the Petunia.

“It doesn’t look like a flower,” said the Iris. “Where are its petals? It’s not a real flower if it doesn’t have colorful petals.”

“Its colors are so dull,” said the Daisy.

“Oh, uh, I’m not a plant. I’m a person. My name is Thomas and I—”

“Tho-mas,” said the Tiger Lily. “That’s a pretty stupid name for a plant species, don’t you think? Why not be creative and come up with something more original?”

“Well that’s my name and I happen to like it. And I’ll have you know that I can be very creative, at least I think—“

“Do you really need to brag so much?” asked the Petunia. “It just makes plants like you desperate, fishing for likes and compliments.”

Thomas huffed. “Listen, I just need to know where—“

“That’s the ugliest flower I’ve ever seen,” said the Rose.

“Oh my gosh, I’ll bet it doesn’t even get pruned,” said the Tiger Lily

These plants were really getting on his last nerve. “Look I’m kinda lost here! I-I had a hard day, am super small, and I’d really like to get back to my regular size—“

“Well not all of us have a choice of whether or not we can grow bigger,” said the Dandelion. “Or even grow prettier.”

“Could you just please—”

“Yeah, that’s pretty selfish of you dontcha think?”

“Is this even a real plant?”

“Maybe you should check your privilege.”

That was it! “GGNNHHAAAAAAAA!!!!”

Thomas ran away from the barrage of critical flowers as fast as he could. He didn’t pay attention to the direction, only knowing that he had to get away from all those harsh comments. He ran and ran through the garden until his aching calves screamed at him to stop. Finally he plopped down on a dirt mount in the middle of an open field to rest.

Well that’s just great. Thomas thought as he caught his breath. Now I’m tired, thirsty, I’ve got a headache, those flowers were NO help at all, and I’m STILL lost! It wasn’t like like Thomas couldn’t take a healthy dose of constructive criticism, but those plants were being just would not let up with their mean words. Like what did he ever do to them? He could feel the stress of his day so far, from the writers block to the fall to now, building up so much that there was only one thing he could do.

Thomas let himself have a good cry, because gosh darn it, men could cry too!

He cried and cried, felt the teardrops billow over down his cheeks. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t at normal size, but he could feel the salty tears taking up more space on his face, as though they were Studio Ghibli style tears. Once he started, Thomas just couldn’t seem to stop crying. He felt silly for making such a big fuss like this, letting all those hurtful comments get to him even though none of it was true. The embarrassment of this only made him cry even more. Thomas was so in the throes of letting out his pent up emotions that he didn’t realize he was creating a puddle around himself. Which turned into a small pond, which turned into a sizeable lake, until finally the water was up to his shoulders.

“Oh no!” Thomas cried out. “Oh great, now look at the mess I’ve made!”

Thomas still could not stop crying, but he was in enough possession of his faculties that he started to doggy paddle so as not to drown in his own river of tears he was making. At least it wasn’t the ocean, although the water was certainly salty enough to seem like one. Thomas never did well in open waters, and the fear seemed to kick in the fight aspect of his anxiety. Thomas mentally pulled himself together enough that he was only sniffling now, and he focused his body to keep swimming.

After ten or fifteen swimmers strokes he realized that there was really no need to swim so hard. The river of tears carried him along smoothly, and he could just let himself float. It was a big relief and frankly one of the few helpful things that had happened to him so far. It was a nice change to get his bearings.

“Boy, I really let myself get carried away with all that crying, huh?” Hehe. Dad joke. “I’ve gotta say though, I do feel better. I guess sometimes you’ve just gotta let it all out. And by the looks of it, I had a LOT to let out!

He only hoped that he hadn’t accidentally drowned out all those flowers back in the garden. Even if they probably deserved it, the thorny twigs. Last time he would let a bunch of attention seeking flowers get to him. And sure, he was still kind of lost and unsure of whether or not he was still heading towards the same direction as the Black Rabbit had been going. But at least he was still going in a direction. Thomas was optimistic that eventually he’d come across the furry fella again.

But I can’t keep floating along like this forever.

<=PREV

NEXT=>

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[inkedcinders]

Missing (Chapter 2)

Also Available on AO3

X6 paced within the Director’s quarters, his boots making a soft click, click as he turned. He could be utterly silent when the situation called for it, but he found the sound soothing, something to match his heart rate to.

He was finding it difficult.

Night had come and gone, and Tesla had yet to return. On the surface, it would be approaching midday. In the Institute, time was a little murkier. X6 had been quietly getting in contact with the Institute’s various surface-side resources, but no one could tell him where Tesla had gone. Everyone had orders to keep a look out for her, and to send word as soon as they could if she were spotted.

You are worrying too much, he silently chastised himself, one hand clenching the other behind his back as he made another turn. She has spent far longer than this away from the Institute, even without you being there. There is little to worry about.

And yet, he still worried.

Empathy was not his strong suit. He understood that, and even preferred it; emotions were messy and seemed to only serve to get in the way of things. Even so, he understood that Tesla was not well. If she felt that she couldn’t handle her grief...

His mouth thinned into a grim expression, stopping in the middle of the room. Suicide, while not as common as on the surface, wasn’t unheard of in the Institute. He’d seen a few attempts, both successful and unsuccessful. The thought of Tesla doing something similar was unspeakably unpleasant.

He decided not to examine that thought any closer.

X6 mentally ran down the areas Tesla would most likely go. Sanctuary was his first thought; it was her home, the most peaceful of the settlements she’d established with the assistance of the Minutemen, and far away from the lingering remnants of the Brotherhood of Steel and the Railroad. This was the most likely option.

His second thought was Nuka World, but he dismissed that almost instantly. From what he’d gathered, Tesla and the raider who’d dragged her into that whole mess hadn’t parted on the best of terms. She was surprisingly tight-lipped about the subject.

He knew she wasn’t in Diamond City, the Institute’s agents would have sent that news along if she was.

Tesla was also close with that ghoul, the mayor of Goodneighbor. Hancock, was it? He rubbed his thumb against his hand, thinking. With Tesla’s current abuse of drugs, the ghoul mayor would certainly be a tempting choice, and Goodneighbor in general would make it too easy for her to procure more drugs, even without the mayor.

A short sigh passed his lips, and he closed his eyes briefly, centering himself. He had a lot of preparation to do to get ready for his excursion to the surface, if Tesla did not return by the time night fell.

And he was certain that she wasn’t going to.

- - -

Tesla stirred, her mind foggy with sleep and the remaining dregs of her drug cocktail. Her limbs felt like they were weighted down with concrete blocks, and she spent a few minutes just lying there, focusing on her breathing.

She should have been getting up immediately to take charge of the situation, but she felt curiously safe, wherever she was. At the very least, she could afford a few minutes to let herself fully wake up.

There was something familiar about the smell of the place. The smell of old, treated wood and furniture mixed with the newer smell of dirty bodies, a faint strain of chems filtering through it. The smell of chems made her mind itch, addiction clawing forward, demanding to be fed, along with the desire to obliterate all those painful memories.

I’m in Goodneighbor. How..? She slowly sat up, her head screaming pounding pain as she did so. She was laid down on a couch in Hancock’s “living room��, as he sardonically had called it. Some of the furniture had changed, but it was still familiar. She slid her legs off the side onto the floor, leaning forward with her head in her hands as she groaned. She wasn’t sure if it was the comedown, or withdrawal.

Vague memories began to filter through the haze, of being dragged through Goodneighbor’s gates. She may or may not have been fighting Hancock the whole time. I’ll need to apologise to him...

She blinked a few times, rubbed her eyes. There was a bottle of water and some med-x on the table by the couch, likely from Hancock. She gratefully drank the water, suddenly aware of savage dehydration, then eyed the med-x warily.

She knew the drug use was bad. She took too much, made dangerous combinations. It would end up killing her one day.

Would that really be so bad?

The water had eased her headache somewhat, but it still throbbed painfully as she leaned forward to pick up the chems, her hands shaking slightly as she did so. My head hurts, med-x dulls the pain, that’s what it’s for, it’s not the same...

She stared at the syringe, wishing that it dulled mental pain, too.

As she contemplated the drug in her hands, one of the double doors leading to the room opened, and Hancock stepped into the room.

“I see yer awake, Sunshine,” he drawled, kicking the door closed behind him.

“Hancock,” she said hoarsely, absently putting down the syringe.

“At least y’remember my name,” he said, hands in his pockets as he sauntered over. “You were pretty fuckin’ high there, Tes.”

“Guess I was,” she said. Why do I feel so awkward?

“I never took y’fer a chem kinda gal. Never touched the stuff when we ran together,” he said, watching her.

“I thought I’d pick up a new hobby,” she said flatly. “You made it seem to appealing.” Why are you being so antagonistic, Tes?

He let out a bark of laughter. “A guy like me makes everythin’ look appealin’, Sunshine,” he grinned, but it didn’t meet his eyes. “You were a fuckin’ mess, though. Didn’t anyone teach ya not to mix yer poisons?”

Tesla stood, a little unsteady, uncomfortable to be sitting down while he was standing up. Too easy to get the drop on me... but Hancock was a friend, right? “I wasn’t really thinking about it. I’ll keep that in mind.” Trying to do a lot less thinking right now, thanks. “How... how long have I been..?”

“Passed out in a drug-laden stupor?” He finished for her. “I found ya around... 2 in the mornin’, I guess? You passed out once I’d dropped you on the couch. It’s midday now.”

I lost half a day? Fuck. “I... thanks, Hancock.”

“What’re you doin’ out here, Tes?” He sounded almost accusatory.

Good question. “Just... needed to get away for a while,” she said, not quite willing to go into specifics. Not yet.

“I’m gonna need a little bit more than that, Tes,” he said. “I got people here t’protect, and I can’t have the Institute come crashing in here cuz you pissed them off.”

She bristled, at that. “I didn’t do anything to the Institute.” I did everything for them, and what has that gotten me? “You don’t have anything to worry about, on that front. I just need a... a vacation.”

“Why not go to Sanctuary then? Nice an’ peaceful up there, far away from everythin’ that could bother ya.”

Her skin crawled at the thought. Even before fully throwing her lot behind the Institute, she hadn’t stayed in Sanctuary. She couldn’t bear it, seeing the house she’d bought with Nate in ruins, so close to his eternal tomb...

“What does it matter, Hancock?” She sighed, looking away from him as she moved past, towards the doors. “This place is as good as any —”

If she’d continued watching him, she would have seen his change in expression. As it was, she was caught completely off guard when he cut her off.

Hancock had her against the wall, switchblade lazily swinging in one hand while the other found balance on the wall beside her, trapping her. She was two inches taller than he was, but he was a force of personality, and she was so very tired and broken, he might as well have been 10 feet tall.

Tesla kept her expression calm, neutral; she’d gotten very good at it under the constant surveillance of the Institute, specifically X6. She kept her eyes on Hancock, but she was very aware of the switchblade in her peripheral vision.

She remembered Finn.

“So you fuck off, slum with those Institute guys for months without so much as a hello, then suddenly show up literally out of nowhere,” he said easily, almost cheerfully, in utter contrast to the words he was speaking and the expression on his face. “And yer asking me for... what? Take you up for a bit? Hide you? Why would I do that?”

Tesla took a slow, steadying breath, not breaking eye contact for a second. Not making that mistake again. “We were friends, once. Hoping we still were. We’ve been through a lot, you and I; that means nothing to you, then?” And, you know, you’ve already helped me out a bit here.

Hancock chuckled. “That was before you threw your lot in with a bunch of crazies who have little respect to the idea of free will and who want everyone up top to die.” The switchblade spun around his fingers, and Tesla couldn’t help but to briefly twitch her eyes towards it. “That isn’t the sort of thing t’get a guy all charitable, Tes.”

“And what would, Hancock?” She asked.

“Hmm, what would?” His stance changed subtly, but enough, closing in the distance between their bodies, pushing her further against the wall as she attempted, and failed, to maintain a comfortable distance. “You could always spend a few nights with me.”

Oh for fuck’s sake. He’s fucking playing with me. “That’s hardly a fair trade, Hancock.”

She felt the cold metal edge of the switchblade against her cheek, and she kept herself absolutely still. “I could always stop making it a request.”

She stared at him flatly, impervious and cold. “John,” she said sharply, and he actually flinched. “We both know you’re not that kind of man, so stop fucking with me already.”

The ghoul laughed, stepping back and hiding the switchblade back up his sleeve with a flourish. “Hey, I hardly ever get to play the bad guy, can you blame me?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down at his boots as one scuffed at the floor. “I wasn’t bein’ entirely dishonest, though. You’ve been gone an awful long time, Tes, without a word. Like you said, we were friends, once, so why the silence?”

She finally looked away from him, staring at the thin light filtering through a window to weakly illuminate the room. “Shaun... my son... he...” It still hurt. It hurt so badly, and no one seemed to care about what she’d lost. “He died. Cancer. There wasn’t... wasn’t anything they could do.”

Hancock looked up. Her voice was shaking, so very uncharacteristic of her. Her eyes were dry, but there was a strange deadness to them that he was all too familiar with. How many people had he seen with that same expression?

How many times had he seen that expression staring back at him from the mirror?

“They don’t get it, John,” she said softly, barely above a whisper. “They lost their Director, but I lost my son, that I spent so long searching for, who was ripped away from me after my husband was murdered. They had a lifetime with him, I had... I had barely any time at all.”

“Tes...”

“It hurts, you know?” She continued, still staring at the window. “Worse than any bullet or stinger. It doesn’t stop, doesn’t heal. It’s just... there, constantly.” She laughed, a dull, wooden sound. “I tried coping, you know. In the worst way. A few drinks before sleeping, just so I could sleep. But I’d wake up remembering, so I’d drink some more.”

“Tes.”

“Next thing you knew, I was drinking all the time.” She said it so matter-of-fact, one could almost think she was talking about someone else. “Those scientists, they knew something was up. But I hid it pretty well, so they never figured it out. They probably would have, eventually, if it weren’t... if it weren’t for X6. He helped hide it and cover for me when it was... bad.”

“Jesus Christ, Tes.”

“Eventually he got sick of it. Can’t really blame him, I guess. He threatened me, to turn me out to the scientists and expose everything, if I didn’t stop. So I stopped drinking, sure, but I just picked up... worse habits. It’s not hard to leave the institute when you’re the Director, you know? Pop out every once and a while with the guise of hunting down a runaway or recovering captured synths. It’s so easy, I could do it without X6. He was suspicious of how often I would go out without him, so I started buying a lot at once when I didn’t bring him along and hiding it.

Hancock was staring, shocked at the story he was hearing. This was Tesla, sole survivor of Vault 111, who’d taken on the Commonwealth and won, right? She’d appeared so strong and focused, it was hard to believe there was this much pain underneath it all.

“Eventually I couldn’t stand being there anymore,” she said dully. “I gathered up some supplies, took a few hits for the road, and chose a random destination to get teleported to. My luck I ended up so close to Goodneighbor, I guess. Or maybe I didn’t, and I just wandered here out of... I don’t know... instinct. I took a lot of drugs before hitting that teleporter, it’s kind of hazy.”

His decision to take a walk outside of Goodneighbor was certainly turning out to be rather serendipitous. “Shit, Tes, why didn’t you come to any of us? We don’t got any of that fancy Institute tech, but...”

“I recall very few of you being happy with my decision to throw in with the Institute,” she said dryly. “Piper and Nick in particular had some very... vocal opinions. I didn’t think... I had a place here anymore.”

Well, fuck, now I feel super shitty for my earlier behaviour. You gotta stop with the snap judgements, Hancock my boy. “Listen, Tes... you’ve always got a place here in Goodneighbor. I can’t speak to the others, but I ain’t gonna kick you out in your time of need.”

“No, you’re just going to pin me against a wall and threaten me,” she said pertly.

“Uh, yeah, that was uncalled for,” he admitted sheepishly. “I was just... angry, I guess. Kinda felt you were only dropping in cuz you needed something, after abandoning us for so long.”

“Well, considering, you’re not totally wrong...” Tesla sighed.

“I think after hearing about your particular circumstances I’m willing to forgive it. Seriously, you can stay as long as you want.” He paused. “Do you want your stay here secret..?”

“Not sure how secret it can be, considering a dozen or so people saw you half-drag me here earlier...”

“You were high as a kite and being very uncooperative, what else was I supposed to do?” Hancock grumbled. “I won’t say anything though, and I’ll make it known that you’re “not here”, if you want.”

“Thank-you, John,” Tesla said wearily. “It’s only delaying the inevitable. The Institute is going to come drag me back eventually. It’s not even that I don’t want to go back there, I just... can’t be there. Not yet. It hurts too much.” She glanced down at her arms. Even though she couldn’t see them, she was very aware of each track mark, and she suddenly felt ashamed of herself for it. What am I doing with myself? “And I should... probably get myself clean anyways.”