#both pre and post incident
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coloring practice :33 reference image in read more !! (will remove if this gets flagged)
#OMORI#OMORI Fanart#BASIL OMORI#OMORI BASIL#BASIL’S POST-GAME AU !!#also timeskip :3#i wanted to draw a variant of his outfit#cause i’m almost certain i’ll never actually draw it#unless it’s hot even for him#who wears like 2 layers of clothing in summer#both pre and post incident
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I split my original Arthur Kingsmen playlist in two because it was getting too long. </3
#fae edits#my edits#faes playlists#msa#arthur kingsmen#arthur kingsmen playlist#my pre- and post- cave incident artie playlists both have new playlist covers!!!#Spotify
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considering that both 478jk n hbjm were thee villains in their own fics, who do u think is more redeemable between them?? 😵😵 this has no bearing whatsoever on the actual fics btw this is jus a silly lil poll to quell my curiosity bc i realized that i never weighed them out like this!!!!
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More on pre-electricity lighting.
Interesting to see this one pop up again after nearly two years - courtesy of @dduane, too! :->
*****
After experiencing a couple more storm-related power cuts since my original post, as well as a couple of after-dark garden BBQs, I've come to the conclusion that C.J. Cherryh puts far too much emphasis on "how dark things were pre-electric light".
For one thing eyes adjust, dilating in dim light to gather whatever illumination is available. Okay, if there's none, there's none - but if there's some, human eyes can make use of it, some better or just faster than others. They're the ones with "good night vision".
Think, for instance, of how little you can see of your unlit bedroom just after you've turned off the lights, and how much more of it you can see if you wake up a couple of hours later.
There's also that business of feeling your way around, risking breaking your neck etc. People get used to their surroundings and, after a while, can feel their way around a familiar location even in total darkness with a fair amount of confidence.
Problems arise when Things Aren't Where They Should Be (or when New Things Arrive) and is when most trips, stumbles, hacked shins and stubbed toes happen, but usually - Lego bricks and upturned UK plugs aside - non-light domestic navigation is incident-free.
*****
Here are a couple of pics from one of those BBQs: one candle and a firepit early on, then the candle, firepit and an oil lamp much later, all much more obvious than DD's iPad screen.
Though I remain surprised at how well my phonecam was handling this low light, my own unassisted eyes were doing far better. For instance, that area between the table and the firepit wasn't such an impenetrable pool of darkness as it appears in the photo.
I see (hah!) no reason why those same Accustomed Eyes would have any more difficulty with candles or oil lamps as interior lighting, even without the mirrors or reflectors in my previous post.
With those, and with white interior walls, things would be even brighter. There's a reason why so many reconstructed period buildings in Folk Museums etc. are (authentically) whitewashed not just outside but inside as well. It was cheap, had disinfectant qualities, and was a reflective surface. Win, win and win.
*****
All right, there were no switches to turn on a light. But there was no need for what C.J. describes as stumbling about to reach the fire, because there were tinderboxes and, for many centuries before them, flint and steel. Since "firesteels" have been heraldic charges since the 1100s, the actual tool must have been in use for even longer.
Tinderboxes were fire-starter sets with flint, steel and "tinder" all packed into (surprise!) a box. The tinder was easily lit ignition material, often "charcloth", fabric baked in an airtight jar or tin which would now start to glow just from a spark.
They're mentioned in both "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings". Oddly enough, "Hobbit" mentions matches in a couple of places, but I suspect that's a carry-over from when it was just a children's story, not part of the main Legendarium.
Tinderboxes could be simple, just a basic flint-and-steel kit with some tinder for the sparks to fall on...
...or elaborate like this one, with a fancy striker, charcloth, kindling material and even wooden "spills" (long splinters) to transfer flame to a candle or the kindling...
This tinderbox even doubles as a candlestick, complete with a snuffer which would have been inside along with everything else.
Here's a close-up of the striker box with its inner and outer lids open:
What looks like a short pencil with an eraser is actually the striker. A bit of tinder or charcloth would have been pulled through that small hole in the outer lid, which was then closed.
There was a rough steel surface on the lid, and the striker was scraped along it, like so:
This was done for a TV show or film, so the tinder was probably made more flammable with, possibly, lighter fuel. That would be thoroughly appropriate, since a Zippo or similar lighter works on exactly the same principle.
A real-life version of any tinderbox would usually just produce glowing embers needing blown on to make a flame, which is shown sometimes in movies - especially as a will-it-light-or-won't-it? tension build - but is usually a bit slow and non-visual for screen work.
*****
There were even flintlock tinderboxes which worked with the same mechanism as those on firearms. Here's a pocket version:
Here are a couple of bedside versions, once again complete with a candlestick:
And here are three (for home defence?) with a spotlight candle lantern on one side and a double-trigger pistol on the other.
Pull one trigger to light the candle, pull the other trigger to fire the gun.
What could possibly go wrong? :-P
*****
Those pistol lanterns, magnified by lenses, weren't just to let their owner see what they were shooting at: they would also have dazzled whatever miscreant was sneaking around in the dark, irises dilated to make best use of available glimmer.
Swordsmen both good and bad knew this trick too, and various fight manuals taught how to manage a thumb-shuttered lamp encountered suddenly in a dark alley.
There's a sword-and-lantern combat in the 1973 "Three Musketeers" between Michael York (D'Artagnan) and Christopher Lee (Rochefort), which was a great idea.
Unfortunately it failed in execution because the "Hollywood Darkness" which let viewers see the action, wasn't dark enough to emphasise the hazards / advantages of snapping the lamps open and shut.
This TV screencap (can't get a better one, the DVD won't run in a computer drive) shows what I mean.
In fact, like the photos of the BBQ, this image - and entire fight - looks even brighter through "real eyes" than with the phonecam. Just as there can be too much dark in a night scene, there can also be too much light.
*****
One last thing I found when assembling pics for the post were Folding Candle-lanterns.
They were used from about the mid-1700s to the later 20th century (Swiss Army ca. 1978) as travel accessories and emergency equipment, and IMO - I've Made A Note - they'd fit right into a fantasy world whose tech level was able to make them.
The first and last are reproductions: this one is real, from about 1830.
The clear part was mica - a transparent mineral which can be split into thin flexible sheets - while others use horn / parchment, though both of these are translucent rather than transparent. Regardless, all were far less likely to break than glass.
One or two inner surfaces were usually tin, giving the lantern its own built-in reflector, and tech-level-wise, tin as a shiny or decorative finish has been used since Roman times.
I'm pretty sure that top-of-the-line models could also have been finished with their own matching, maybe even built-in, tinderboxes.
And if real ones didn't, fictional ones certainly could. :->
*****
Yet more period lighting stuff here, including flintlock alarm clocks (!)
#period lighting#tinderbox#too light too dark#social history#writer notes#research#period tech#sword vs lantern#c. j. cherryh
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I know they’re probably not going to go into this (which i understand, there’s only so much time in an episode and they’re telling a different story) but I think about Al’s background a LOT. Get ready if ur in the mood for a read.
To be a mixed Black person in America is a…bizarre experience. You come to realize that due to the coincidence of your genetic makeup, white folks may divulge information that they keep so closely guarded from the ears of “more obvious-looking” black folks. Im gonna bring it back to Alastor, but lemme give some personal context. I’m mixed with Filipino, so I’m pretty obviously not white, yet my ambiguous ethnic makeup in a predominantly white suburbia seemed to make white peers and people feel much more at ease in relaying their criticisms or prejudices of black people to me. I would hear someone feel comfy enough to spew vitriolic racist shit with me, then toe the line like a circus acrobat when around someone a few shades darker in skin tone and a few coils curlier in hair texture. It was constantly infuriating and holding my tongue was a practice to both investigate someone’s true nature and preserve my own safety. I did abandon that method of navigating life in America, and experienced the switch-up white folks made when I started ‘broadcasting’ my blackness. (E.G. beyonce pre vs. post Lemonade). The criticisms and prejudice confessions just came less often, til I saw them being caged up completely after white peers experienced backlash from me. After they realized “OH this bitch is a n*****!?”
Now this is from someone who is brown, but i also wanna talk about my white-passing cousin with a similar racial makeup as Al, who is from the south and oh BOY. (Let’s call him J for this post’s purposes). J’s navigation though simple daily life is such a constant contradictory experience, of which he is still working through in therapy. I think of one moment when he was manager at retail gig and his boss told him that whenever a Black customer enters, it’s policy to give them “exceptionally attentive customer service”. Essentially, “follow that n***** around”. This is just one modern incident of when J would hear the quiet part out loud, despite his Blackness, because his appearance was white enough to make white folks drop their guard. Eventually, my cousin and I took to the same direction where we used our advantage of disarming white folks against them when the time came. We would keep note and record of racism and unlock a sort of “this you?” when the opportunity to expose that person’s true nature came. It’s pretty vengeful thinking ngl, but it is really REALLY hard to resist exposing an asshole rather than attempting to teach an asshole to change their ways. Especially given that such an attempt is an ARDUOUS uphill battle. The experience of KNOWING the truth about what someone thinks of your people, and being opened to opportunities and information that you would not have access to if the chance of your genetics was only slightly different is bIZARRE, horrific, and fuel for constant inner turmoil. (It sucks y’all)
Now back to Alastor; to have been a mixed person in the Deep South in 1930s America—it’s not too difficult for me to imagine how traumatic and convoluted that experience must have been. Especially when legally and socially, things were so much more Black and White. And when you’re on the line in between that, when society does not prepare a place for your existence, it can be SO isolating. You may consider the absurdity of such an arbitrary method of determining class, status, and/or caste much earlier in life than peers, which only further isolates you. You hold a resentment of society now that you know exactly how the other side is operating to ensure your oppression.
And then I think of Al’s weird ass moral code. How he arrived in Hell and (according to Mimzy) began killing overlords with reckless abandon. This is someone who likely had to develop the cunning to navigate 1930s Deep South America as a mixed, murdering, psychopath without getting caught by authorities who are already gunning for you. And now he is in Hell where the rules of society have gone up in smoke and he can fully embrace his rage, resentment, and vengeance. A desire to burn down the powerful people of the world can be accommodated and ANY previous inhibitions can finally be released. The morality of rising above someone by cutting them down (instead of developing emotional/spiritual healing) has become the easier and satisfying option. Finally the opportunity to show the power-secure villains of the world how easily you can tear them down when nothing is holding you back any longer.
TLDR; The trauma of racism in America is pretty sufficient cannon fodder for a severe psychotic break, the development of socially debilitating behaviors and isolation, and a quest for profound vengeance. So maybe that can explain some of the enigma that is Alastor.
And this is just ONE facet of Al. I didn’t even get to bring up the isolation that comes with being an aroace nonbeliever in the 1930s Deep South. Like FUCK. I’m a mixed, aroace nonbeliever from a modern day conservative town and yall….what a weird experience for sure lol but anyway lemme get back to my life. Whole point of this was—-WHAT AN INTERESTING FUCKEN CHARACTER TO THINK ABOUT
#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel spoilers#it’s an alastor analysis yalllll#character analysis gives my media and art engagement brain the wiggles#also I hate racism!!!! :)
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This is a RACK focused best practice guide to doing a drowning scene, more specifically a scene where you're repeatedly forcing your victims head under the water. These are my suggestions based on extensive research but they are only theoretical i haven't got to do this to anyone yet. If you have actual experience id love to hear from you please.
Pre-scene setup
Learn CPR. This is the single thing that I'm going to say is mandatory, everything else is just a suggestion this isn't. If worst comes to worst and your victim is drowning you need to be able to save their life.
Learn your victim. How do they react in pain, when they're scared or panicking, where are there mental breaking points. Especially helpful to have done breath play with them before, how long can they hold their breath, how hard will they fight, what are their non verbal cues. Are they the type of person who will push their limits past the danger point, are you comfortable shutting the scene down when they're begging you to continue.
Figure out your nonverbal communication. A safeword is important but not nearly enough for a scene like this. Their head is going to be underwater most if the time and they'll probably be struggling and fighting. What signs can they make to tell you to stop or slow down under these conditions. I would suggest giving them something to hold that can make noise, a squeaky toy or a clicker or something similar, with which to signal you.
During the scene
Use warm water. Cold water adds a whole plethora of new problems significantly increasing the risk. I'm not sure of the exact temperature but I think it should be either room temperature so your victim doesn't feel a temperature difference between the air and the water, or body temperature so the water doesn't change their core temperature. (If you'd like to use cold water or even ice water, if that's part of the appeal, ill happily figure out the additional risks in exchange for a video of you drowning your victim ^.^)
Watch their face. Like any other form of breath play hypoxia is a major risk. This post isn't about breath play, I'm assuming you know all those risks and how to manage them before you do something like this.
Start slow. Put your hand on their head but let them submerge themselves and then come back up when they're ready. This will get them used to the sensation and you used to the rhythm. Slowly increase pressure and intensity until you're forcing their head under and pulling it up against their will.
Have the person fill their lungs to capacity before submerging them. The reason being they will have to breath out before they breath water back in so as soon as you see the first sign of bubbles you can pull them out.
After care
This scene will be intense so the aftercare needs to be too. Again this post isn't about proper aftercare I'm assuming you know how to do that if you're doing something like this. But in addition to the usual.
Have a plan for monitoring your victim for the next 72 hours. There are two major complications that can occur after a drowning incident and both can take days to present themselves. The first is when a persons throat spasms and closes, this is supposed to happen when they initially inhale water but can happen much later. The signs to look out for include persistent coughing, irregular breathing, dizziness, confusion, and foam around the mouth and nose. The second is when water gets deep into the lunges it can cause fluid to build up which inhibits gas exchange causing the person to slowly suffocate. The signs to look out for can include coughing up blood, excessive sweating, anxiety, pale skin, and a crackling sound when breathing deeply. If your victim shows any of these signs get them to a medical professional asap, don't risk it these will both cause very painful death.
Enjoy ^.^
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You Would've Done It Too
Ollie Bearman x Verstappen!Reader
SMAU
We all know Mad Max, but what if his younger sister is worse? And what if her on track enemy isn’t always that?
HEAVILY inspired by: Enemies or Lovers by @claypgeon and DR creators on tik Tok for radio ideas
f2updates
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f2updates: Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman made contact at todays GP. Both drivers are well, but forced to retire their cars
tagged: no one
user1 now this is real racing
user2 im glad that Ollie is finally giving Y/n's aggression back
user3 right?? Verstappens gone too long without someone humbling her
user4 I hope she can be tamed like Max and really put her drive to good use
user5 you know they’re both pissed
User6 these post race interviews are about to be HEATED
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f2updates
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f2updates: Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman's comments on the incident today
tagged: no one
user1 lmao Y/n and HITECH can whine all they want, all Ollie did was exactly what they've been doing to the grid all year
user2 the jabs at each other give me life
user3 I live for this rivalry
user4 yes Ollie 👏👏 humble her
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f1
liked by: carlossainz55, user5, Olliebearman, and 927,828 others
f1: Prima driver, Ollie Bearman, will replace Carlos Sainz this weekend
tagged: prema_team, olliebearman, scuderiaferrari
user1 I wonder how y/n is feeling about this
user2 why bring her up, this ain’t about her
user1 because she's been negotiating with different teams to get a contract and try to drive in a free practice but now Ollie gets to race for Ferarri before she gets any of that
user4 and he gets to race against her brother, something Y/n has publicly said she misses and prays to do again
user3 Y/n isn't any better at racing than him, id argue they're equals, nor should she get special treatment because of Max so she can wait her turn
user5 ahhh I can’t wait!!!
User6 I’m gonna miss Carlos this weekend 😭😭
user7 please please please Ferrari have a good strategy for him🙏🙏
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f2updates
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f2updates: Y/n Verstappen commenting on Ollie Bearman's temporary move to F1: "It's truly an amazing experience (to drive F1). Ferrari sees something in him, so best of luck. I've defiantly noticed a lack of headaches this weekend."
tagged no one
user1 the was she still has to make a snarky comment
user2 I mean they are rivals 🤷♂️
user3 most civil I've ever seen an interaction between them
user4 I don’t understand why someone went out of their way to get a comment from her, let Y/n race and comment on herself and let Ollie shine without dragging the mood down by asking his rival for a statement
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Pre-Race
Post-Race
ynverstappen
liked by: pauladon_, hitechgp, user5, and 817,929 others
ynverstappen: That's how you do it the HITECH way
tagged: paularon_
user1 ig we don't need to ask how she's celebrated the win
hitechgp perfect 1-2 weekend!!
maxverstappen why the last slide
ynverstappen I had to inform the people of my opinions
Maxverstappen anyway, I’m so proud!!
ynverstappen 🫶🫶
Carlossainz55 congrats on p1 little-stapppen
Redbullracing performance so good we were left speechless 👏👏
user2 as much as I love a good rivalry it was nice to have a gp where Y/n and Ollie weren’t fighting and making digs at each other
User3 I agree
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olliebearman
liked by prema_team, user87, kimi.antonelli, and 728,928 others
olliebearman: P3 for my little buddy 🧸
tagged: no one
user1 awww the bear
user2 always a good day when we get a Y/n and Ollie podium
user3 its the only time they're ever civil when near each other
Prema_team very proud of your performance 🤝
user3 help im jealous of a stuffed bear
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f1
liked by ynverstappen, maxverstappen1, user4, and 828,928 others
f1: Y/n Verstappen has been called up to replace Williams's Alex Albon this GP! She's already been seen in the garage looking right at home
tagged: hitechgp, ynverstappen, williamsracing
williamsracing we can't wait
Alex_albon she's gonna smash it!!
user1 please bring Williams back to the glory days
user2 Verstappen? Nice try, welcome back Nico Rosberg
user3 she looks so good in blue
user4 Y/n lead Logan to the podium
user5 yes ma'am 👏
user6 give Max a run for his money
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f2updates
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f2updates: for her free practice session, Y/n Verstappen has run into issues with her car
tagged no one
user1 her radio killed me: "Um guys somethings wrong I don't think the car likes me very much"
user2 looks like she's causing as many problems there as she does here
user3 please please please I NEED Williams to sort this out so she can still race
user4 she handled the situation very calmly and professionally, very impressive
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f2updates
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f2updates: Ollie Bearman comments on Y/n's absence after his race: "Very unfortunate to have troubles so early on. I guess the car could tell she was a hot head haha. I know all of us drivers are hoping the problem clears up"
tagged: no one
user1 I wish they would stop bothering the other for comments, if the situation doesn't involve both Y/n and Ollie then they shouldn't make a statment
user2 exactly it feels like the media is trying to get them to lash out at each other
user3 exactly they aren't friends, but they don't go out of their way to cause problems and people need to realize that
user4 yk he felt so pleased with the hot head joke
user5 "I know all of us drivers are hoping the problem clears up" he's trying so hard not to get into it with pr
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ynverstappen
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ynverstappen: Williams, what an honor it was to be chosen to drive for you this past weekend! I hope I've shown my appreciation through my performance and actions. Alex, sorry for almost ruining your car, get well and kick ass next weekend mate!
tagged: williamsracing
maxverstappen1 you were amazing! I'm so proud
ynvserstappen ❤️❤️
landonorris very impressive battle we had!! still pissed I lost to someone who overheated the car her first lap but yk
ynverstappen thank you for putting up a fight! so happy to beat you Mr. Nowins user8 I need more public Y/n and Lando interactions
user1 the purple helmet ate
user3 its so funny to me that she just happened to get called up the weekend she had a special helmet
user2 lmao she saw the Nico jokes
ynverstappen had bestie hunt the jacket down for the bit (its now my favorite piece and I will live in it forever, thank you Britney)
user4 someone tell her she showed her appration and more
user5 right- she gave Williams their highest qualifying and ending positions
user6 since Logan is leaving can we get her on the grid next year
user7 if you want to rush her and have her burn out like Logan then sure, but I say just give her a contract and get comfy in F2
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ynverstappen posted a story!
caption: to quote the note left, "they're crochet so you'll remember this weekend forever"
replies:
paularon_
seems like he knows his stuff
I cried
maybe its time to put these ruse behind mmh
don't take my fun away from me
and he really does piss me off
oh I know
I just don't know how he still puts up with you, mini max
hey max was worse
are we sure??
bff_username
ugh what I wouldnt do to have what you do!!
it really is the best
I mean he puts up with your shit better than I do
ok now first Paul and now you
you know im working on it, getting all the Jose out of my veins takes time
and im so proud of you for it
maxverstappen
who.
bff/n
thats a lie
you wouldve tagged her
who.
overprotective much 🙄
im your older brother its my job, now spill
I will at dinner in a few days
f2updates
liked by user5, user39, usrr93, and 829,839 others
f2updates: in what felt like a rendition of the Norris-Verstappen insident, Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman had a collision in their battled for 2nd, behind Paul Aron in first. The collision caused both to lose significant places in this race, but both were able to return
tagged: no one
landonorris wannabe @/ynverstappen
ynverstappen fuck off Norris
user1 welp cannot wait for the media digs from this
user2 there goes our time of peace
user3 at least this time it was clearly Ollie's fault, I mean he pushed Y/n off
user4 bffr it was a defenive move, maybe she should have stayed straight rather than turn into him? user5 turn into him?? Ollie kept changing his path in turns before and did it again here, all Y/n did was stay on the track rather than turn off
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f2updates
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f2updates: Y/n Verstappen and Ollie Bearman's comments on their collision today
tagged no one
user1 praying for every f2 driver tonight that they dont run into each other in the hotel or else I fear it may end in a screaming match
user2 just once I need these two to be able to swing on eachother
user3 it'll settle everything once and for all
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ynverstappen
liked by maxverstappen1, paularon_, kimi.antonelli, and 928,845 others
ynverstappen: he's hot, you would do it to
tagged: olliebearman
olliebearman I love you schat
ynverstappen I love you too!! Best (almost) year ever, love
user1 im sorry its almost been a YEAR
paularon_ finally im free from this torture
kimi.antonelli you can say that again
ynverstappen nah he's still my #1 opp
olliebearman no one pisses me off quicker 🫶
maxverstappen1 I dont like you. you're not good enough for her. you never will be. I'll personally carve out another appendix so I can't drive you into the barrier if you ever hurt her. y/n you're learning to back flip right now.
ynverstappen a bit much?
olliebearman nope perfect amount, I understand very clearly
landonorris max almost passed out
landonorris please post more im enjoying myself
user2 LMAO LANDO
user3 this was not on my 2024 bingo card
user4 kinda upset we'll never see them swing on each other
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olliebearman
liked by ynverstappen, kimi.antonelli, user1, and 844,294 others
olliebearman: only person id wear red bull for ❤️
tagged: ynverstappen
ynverstappen only person id wear Ferrari for 💙
olliebearman forever grateful 🫶
carlossainz55 im hurt
Charles_leclerc me too
maxverstappen1 Y/n take that off and burn it now.
ynverstappen no 🫶
user1 im crying they work out together 😭
user2 I just wanna know when that second picture was taken
olliebearman before she got caught leaving the Ferrari garage
ynverstappen and y'all believed the outfit change 🤣🫵
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hitechgp and prema_team
liked by ynverstappen, user45, kimi.antonelli, and 834,253 others
hitechgp: I guess we're related now or something??
tagged: ynverstappen, olliebearman, paularon_, kimi.antonelli
prema_team family karting day??
user1 not neither team knowing what to say
ynverstappen so fun!!
kimi.antonelli no not "so fun" so scary you almost killed us for the win
ynverstappen and I looked good doing it
olliebearman yeah you did 😍
paularon_ bring back the Ollie that would've cussed her out over that
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#f1 imagines#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 smau#f2 x reader#f2#formula 2#f2 imagine#formula 2 x reader#formula 2 imagine#oliver bearman#ollie bearman#ollie bearman smau#ollie bearman imagine#ollie bearman x reader
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#and the song references the greek shield on the album cover which shows justice leading a soldier #saying I will bring this man back and he will have his city and move freely in his father's halls (op how could you leave this in the tags!!!)
the mountain goats’ new song fresh tattoo is soooo breq/seivarden coded like
very “picking up a half-dead soldier off the street and dragging her along on your quest for justice” core
#oh god two of my biggest weaknesses the mountain goats and imperial radch#(i'm still just throwing autoclave at all my nd and not-quite-human and struggling-to-see-themselves-as-a-person/-as-loveable blorbos)#but thissss#oooohhhhh YOU ARE SO RIGHT OP#i hadn't listened to this song yet and just reading the lyrics i was like 'YES!!!! this song is about Them'#and now i'm listening to it and oh GOD the vibes i love the mountain goats and this FEELS so breq#'i gave you an answer that i'd thought you buy' is THE vibe for the way breq deals with seivarden pre bridge incident oh god#headed for a season in exile as the oracle predicted.................. (something something amaat something something)#let the future flood right in............ oh god i can be normal about this i swear#i hope its okay that i added your tags op!!!! i'm just. i'm just going insane about all of this sorry#i was going to ask for the breq playlist but i found it on your blog and. oh god it has salt and the sea#and in our bedroom after the war!!!! and o my heart!!!!!!!#oh god op i haven't listened to it the playlist yet but i love it already#imperial radch#ancillary trilogy#playlist#edit: OH GOD i am listening to the playlist now and just. oh god. 'oh my heart it's a fish out of water; it's a fish on the rocks'#-> my heart is a fish hiding in the water grass <-#oh god i get it now op#okay it's going crazy about this breq playlist hours#(edit edit: i realized that this seems very much like a listen in the right order playlist. so i did. halfway through and i am still GOING#INSANE! maybe it's partly because this is very much my taste in music but this might be my favorite fandom playlist i've ever found)#(i keep getting hit by lyrics left and right oh god it's so so good) ('just put your backpack on your shoulder be the good little soldier')#('you spoke my language and touched my limbs it wasn't difficult to pull me from myself again')#('oh captain let's make a deal where we both say the things that we both really feel')#('in your eyes i see the eyes of somebody i knew before long ago - but i'm still trying to make my mind up am i free or am i tied up')#(in your eyes i see the eyes of somebody who could be stong tell me if i'm wrong - and now i'm pulling your disguise up#are you free or are you tied up?') oh god op i'm so sorry for having a breakdown in the tags of your post but. yeah.#this playlist SLAPS great work
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I've been trying to figure out what the deal is with prediabetes so I can write a meaningful response to an ask I got about it, and I just keep going wait--okay--here's one paper--but here's another one--here's a Cochrane review--but here's a different meta-analysis--and here's newer data from an RCT...
It's nuts! It's bananas. And anybody who says we have good, crisp, clear guidelines around what prediabetes even IS, much less what to do about it, is FULL OF SHIT.
What I really need to know in order to feel more confident about my handle on whether to medicate pre-diabetes is the population incidence. Not prevalence. Because if I take the most optimistic studies about medication as an intervention, specifically, I could be looking at about a 30-40% reduction in risk of progression to diabetes. But! How many people is that, actually? Because medication is not without its harms! We need to compare number needed to treat with number needed to harm, we need to have high-quality evidence that says yes, if we give this medication to everyone who meets X level of criteria for pre-diabetes (it's different in different sources AND it's changed repeatedly over our lifetime!), we will see a level of benefit sufficient to justify making these other people who would not have progressed to diabetes without it endure the hassle and side effects of taking a medication for the rest of their lives.
AND HERE'S THE REAL FUN PART: we don't really know where tissue damage begins! We thought we did! 6.5-7ish A1c. But it turns out there is a marked risk of retinopathy beginning at 5.5! Which is considered normal. AND ALSO we should probably be thinking of it as at least three separate disease based on our current ability to measure--A1c is a broad marker that collapses multiple forms of dysregulated blood sugar, and when we use more fine-grained tests, we see meaningful distinctions that probably affect preferred treatments between people who have impaired fasting glucose, people who have abnormal values on an oral glucose tolerance test, and people who have both. We should treat these groups differently because they reflect different underlying pathways: elevated fasting glucose means your liver is breaking down too much glycogen while you sleep, which is one issue, while elevated post-prandial glucose means your skeletal muscles (OR SOMETHING ELSE they're not totally sure) are behaving abnormally in response to insulin. IT'S NOT THE SAME THING and people with both impaired fasting glucose and abnormal post-prandial glucose are at higher risk of progression to diabetes/tissue damage than people with just one of those. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, what is diabetes? What's the best cutoff? What's the best measure? How many underlying pathophysiologies are getting collapsed into the same group????
THE MORE I LEARN ABOUT THIS THE MORE QUESTIONS I HAVE and experts are all being serenely confident while contradicting each other so I have to actually dig in the data a lot harder than I usually do. I've been meaning to do this for months, but one of the presenters this morning made a comment about the benefits of putting prediabetics on metformin that made me go "hm, do I need to start doing that?" and I've gone from my kneejerk answer being "no, we studied this and it doesn't help" to "I don't fucking know and neither does anyone else."
...as always, Cochrane is probably right.
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Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders
I've been meaning to write this since Charmed.
I shall not point fingers or name names but during Charmed 2024 there was a 101 class that taught that it was unsafe to play with those who dissociate as part of a mental illness. The graphic, which I'll paste below, used the word "Can't".
I wanted to speak to that.
Hypnosis has several different definitions. One could go to a hypnosis event and ask every presenter "define hypnosis in a single sentence" and get a different answer every class, likely a few may even contradict.
One such definition I could use is "Hypnosis is an altered state where a hypnotee is lead to a suggestible state where the hypnotee is dissociated from their conscious thinking." though one could say it is "an altered state that leads to breakdown in critical thinking and a heightened state of suggestibility" or you could start talking about the unconscious or subconscious mind.
Fact is, there's a lot of theory work at play and the language we use to shape the concepts isn't as important as understanding the concepts.
Dissociation is a natural part of hypnosis. It's also a natural part of existing. In much pre-talk patter we as hypnotists tend to ask an introduction level hypnotee to think about their experiences with time dilation, with highway hypnosis, with spacing out, with walking into a room and forgetting why you came in there.
Things so normal that as part of rapport, a hypnotist tends to assume the hypnotee can latch on to one of the concepts.
Dissociation is a spectrum. Literally. Within psychology the DES-II tool grades dissociation experiences on a scale, hence the acronym.
Graphic source
When people, including myself at times, describe dissociative disorders they tend to be referring to disorders that focus on dissociation as their main symptom. Depersonalization, Derealization and of course Dissociative Identity Disorder. Over the course of my life I have been diagnosed with all three.
But the scale includes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, both complex and standard. Complex simply refers to a level of trauma that has been ongoing long enough that it is not a single memory or incident that triggers the symptoms.
According to the American Psychiatric Association one in eleven people will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point in their life with 3.5m diagnosed per year in the USA.
Which is to say that dissociating as part of an illness includes 8% of the population. Does that mean 8% of all potential hypnotees are too dangerous to play with?
...the answer is not a clear cut, "no". There is some elevated danger. But rather than teaching people not to play with those who live with these experiences, perhaps we can teach why there should be heightened caution and then allow people to navigate together.
We should always strive to educate and provide tools. When you tell a person they can't do something then they'll just do it without understanding why they aren't supposed to or, worse, predators will find those who were excluded from safer spaces. Harm is not reduced, an educator just gets to walk away from the harm with a simple "I said they shouldn't".
And plus, I said 8% of the general population...
Within hypnosis circles I assure you it is far higher when one factors in that multiple studies have supplied evidence that hypnotic susceptibility increases along with dissociative capacity.
Suffice to say, from utilizing hypnotic susceptibility tests (HGSHS) and dissociative tests (SDD and DES) the more a person dissociates, the more susceptible to hypnosis they are.
The human mind uses dissociation as a way of coping with physical and emotional pain, among other necessary inner needs, and so a person suffering from a mental illness that features dissociation becomes a naturally gifted hypnotee. It's a matter of practicing a skill constantly without realizing that they are refining something useful. Wax-On/Wax-Off.
This leads to a number of safety concerns. We've typed on serious concerns such as altering sense of identity and derealization attacks from lack of grounding. This is a topic near and dear to our heart as we acknowledge that we needed to gain an education in how to safely consent to hypnosis play and failing to do so in the past caused harm to ourselves and to those we played with.
So here's a list of potential dangers in playing with those who are further along the dissociative spectrum, how to mitigate those dangers and create a space where everyone can play safely.
I'll focus on hypnotees with dissociative experiences for the most part as the relationship between dissociation and hypnosis is primarily a concern while the hypnotee is in trance. That having been said I acknowledge that Dom Space connects just as much to the spectrum and an entire new post can be made on the topic of performing hypnosis when you have a dissociative disorder.
Heaven knows it is a topic I study feverishly to maintain safety for myself and those who entrust their mind to my care.
So... with that said, let's talk about the dangers.
Abreactions
This is likely the most common concept that comes up when thinking of the relationship between PTSD and hypnosis. An abreaction is the moment a hypnosis session or scene goes off the rails because the hypnotee is actively reacting to a trauma trigger while they are in a suggestible state. Their Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn impulse may be triggered and cause a physical or emotional reaction which was not part of the negotiated/planned scene.
This could be a cut and dry example of "and think about all the times you've been hypnotized right there on that sofa" causing a hypnotee to follow the suggestion and regress in memory to a time before a bad break-up when their former partner hypnotized them on the sofa they are currently on.
It could be an abstract example like "imagining yourself in a field of flowers and breathing in, noting how lovely the scent is, like the most beautiful perfume." causing sense memory to trigger the scent of a perfume that was in the air during a traumatic moment of their life that instantly flips the switch in their mind to go into F/F/F/F mode.
Likely any given hypnotist will experience this at some point in their life. The first example is one that any person could experience. Hypnosis naturally draws upon associations and when you create an association in the present to a negative emotion in the past you will summon it into the present.
With the second example, that association is already there and it was activated during the scene. The source of the abreaction. I avoid using the word "Trigger" both because of shitty internet discourse in the 2010s and because the term is used for other things in hypnosis, but that is what it is. A sense, a memory, an association which causes the source of trauma to intrude upon the present. The danger that the hypnotee experiences in these moments is very real.
Typically when I discuss these topics I put a disclaimer and emphasize how present the traumatic experience is. My hope is that anyone who is interested in hypnosis knows full well how true and powerful inner experiences are. If you doubt that then I sincerely do not know why you are in this community to begin with.
How to prevent an abreaction is important but should never be learned at the expense of learning how to handle an abreaction. Prevention is about disclosing during negotiation, asking the hypnotee to volunteer anything which may activate a negative reaction or simply what topics to avoid. Phobias are common enough examples of things that a hypnotist should know before working.
But disclosing every part of a trance or scene during the early phases of a hypnotic relationship is essential too. This way the hypnotee does not get surprised by anything propping up during play and they can measure their expected reactions before going into a suggestible state.
But if, despite caution, something does happen? What then?
Noting that every abreaction manifests specific to the person, their situation, their emotional state and how the scene caused it to happen. The first thing the hypnotist needs to do is not overreact. Over-correcting is an easy mistake to make in the moment but it will lead to an overall negative outcome.
Assess the situation and try to recognize what is happening. I had mentioned that the reflex is "Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn" this can be obvious like thrashing or ejecting out of trance instantly. It could be something harder to notice like locking up and becoming unresponsive or emotionally regressing to a terrified state.
If the hypnotee is still in trance then do your best to offer comfort and grounding. Remind them what is happening, remind them that they are safe, perform some grounding exercises such as box breathing (breathe in, hold, exhale for a number of seconds).
Touch is a case by case situation here. I know if I were having an emotional flashback to an assault then being touched would launch me further into abreaction territory. If you believe holding a hand would be beneficial then at the very least communicate it "I'm here, I'm going to take your hand, everything's safe, I'm here."
Over distance you should communicate this via modality. "I'm here, just listen to my voice, focus on the sounds in the room, I'm not going anywhere" for an audio example, "Just feel the blanket beneath you, you can brush your fingers against it if you need" for touch based.
The idea is to use emotional comfort, sensory grounding and patience to bring the hypnotee gently out of the moment.
Then apply aftercare and discuss what happened, what could be improved, what the hypnotee needs and acknowledge that the stress of these moments impacts the hypnotist too. Leave room for the hypnotist to recover as much as the hypnotee.
Decide together if this will end the session or not. Do not cut off on principal. If someone is conditioned to believe that displaying their negative reactions will lead to play stopping then they will hide those reactions. Accept that they happen. Learn how to grow together and incorporate care, comfort and safety into every scene.
Spontaneous Hypnotic Amnesia
One danger for those who suffer dissociative disorders is that their brains are very good at editing information. The further down the spectrum one is, the more adept their mind is at naturally pushing away things that they do not wish to think about nor have the capacity to integrate.
One categorization of dissociation is a failure for the brain to integrate information and experience. It is the cause of time dilation, it is why critical thinking is bypassed and it is why those further on the dissociative spectrum are able to compartmentalize their experiences so effortlessly that they can maintain dissociated personalities.
Where most people who practice hypnosis typically have to study how to achieve post-hypnotic amnesia, those who begin working with hypnosis with patholigized dissociative experiences may need to learn how not to experience it. I include this as I have spoken to multiple people who have lived this reality and it is something we ourselves experienced in the past.
Should a newer hypnotee show signs that they are not remembering what is happening during trance, it is a good practice to train them on how to retain information. Hypnotee Agency is a skill that one develops and allowing them the knowledge that they can chose to retain the information during a trance is as important as reinforcing how easy and normal it is to forget when that is a negotiated part of the scene.
All it takes to be safe here is to just remind them that if they wish to and find it enjoyable to do so, they may retain the information from this trance.
Nothing more complicated than that.
Derealization/Unreality
Derealization is a common experience within dissociation that is actually lower on the dissociative spectrum than PTSD. It is when you do not feel attached to your present experiences in real time.
A common version of this is "Deja Vu" which is a sensation where you are having difficulty integrating your present experience because it "feels" like you've already experienced it.
It can manifest in many other ways, however the commonality is that the person experiencing this knows that it's abnormal. When a person is disconnected from their surroundings like this they may experience a barrier between themselves and the world, they may have a distorted sense of time and they may become physically unresponsive and withdrawn.
Source: Mayo Clinic
The best way to handle this is to make sure that grounding always includes a thorough count-up that lets a person feel both in their body (this will help with depersonalization too) and aware of their surroundings. Ensuring both debriefing and aftercare focus on keeping reality in the room is important when someone's sense of what is real can drift.
For that reason it's a good idea to try and reinforce those ideas of what is real and save them in a little box that can be stored away if there are ever any reality altering suggestions in play, that way retrieving and unpacking that box can just be a natural part of the post-scene.
I linked it earlier, but my post on the topic can be found here.
Depersonalization/Altered States of Identity
Ah, our favorite soapbox.
Much like derealization, depersonalization is a symptom that is lower on the scale than PTSD and is actively invoked during inductions such as the Bandler which turns a handshake into the hypnotee starring at their hand and having the sensation of the hand distanced from their mind. Literally dissociating the hand from your body and using that sensation to build a trance.
It's a good induction. All forms of dissociation are not bad things. That is something I want to make sure an audience fully understands. This post is here to destigmatize, particularly when a 101 class was teaching stigma.
Depersonalization is a disconnection from one's sense of self. These are the moments when one feels like they are not the ones living through a moment, they are experiencing themselves from an outside perspective.
Once again, things that are utilized heavily in induction patter.
Source: Mayo Clinic
The derealization advice works well in this case, particularly the idea of creating a "back-up" to restore carefully at the end of a scene.
The big difference though is that depersonalization as a natural thing that those with dissociative disorders do can lead to some bleed when doing suggestions which alter a person's sense of self. I highly recommend an optional suggestion or affirmation that can help a hypnotee ground themselves. That may be too close to therapy for many though.
The hard part about being safe with depersonalization symptoms is that they are typically things that we actively engage with during hypnosis. I guarantee at least one person read "Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of what you say or how you move." and thought of that as an absolute win.
This is where a bit of negotiation and hypnotee agency comes into play. Reality needs to be kept in the room during all hypnosis. Diving into ego-death or erasing reality may be tempting, especially for those who aren't particularly fond of reality or themselves, but it is too dangerous to surrender those things.
My definitive post on the topic has more information.
Though while I'm talking about altered personalities, I want to make something clear which I did not type about much in my Personality Play post...
Plurality
This is a topic on its own which could take on an entire post to itself. I may yet write it. If anyone has read our Madison and Belladonna stories they would know that they are written entirely based upon the life lessons Daja and I have been learning while I began therapy and was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Many of my lessons for how to safely play with plural systems are mixed in with the fiction.
When I say Plural I mean to refer to those who have multiple dissociated personalities, along with circumstances such as dissociative barriers.
There are as many displays of plurality as there are people who experience it. Every system is different. No two people are not on fire (awww).
So with that said, any play on either side of the watch is going to be lead with self-advocating. A hypnotic relationship involving a system (or more than one, even) will need a level of disclosure. Not just that a system exists but how that system manifests. What patterns are known regarding switches, what best works when an unexpected switch occurs, what levels of dissociative barriers exist between alters/parts, what terminology is preferred...
Wait, that's a lot to throw at once.
Our version of plurality is based upon Dissociative Identity Disorder. Which is to say that my system, originating via complex PTSD during childhood, used to have firm dissociative barriers between one another. This meant that, prior to diagnosis, you could have an emotionally charged conversation with me, Dawn, and then the next day Cammie will wake up and depending on the level of dissociation (typically but not always linked to stress or proximity to trauma triggers) will either not remember what happened during that conversation or will not carry the emotions that I had experienced. "Not remembering" can simply be "won't think about"
As I said, it's quite subjective. But the conceit is that with those on the DID spectrum will have a complete disconnect between parts/alters.
For those with less dissociation, but still experience plurality, they may not have amnesia or barriers between parts, allowing themselves to communicate with one another actively.
Within psychological communities there is eternal debate on all of these experiences and one of the more poignant debates is that the difference between DID and OSDD seems to just be a level of severity and that treatment and therapy tactics tend to move DID patients into the OSDD box and so they shouldn't be labeled as separate disorders.
These rules on amnesia, inner communication and emotional consistency between parts typically apply outside of disorders. I do not wish to engage in syscourse. But as above when I mentioned abreactions, those who practice with hypnosis know how capable a mind is to create hypnotically induced personalities. There are experiences outside of the DSM-V and that really shouldn't be a controversial statement.
A switch is when one part/alter trades out for another. The reasons are hyper specific to every system and cannot really be predicted without knowing their circumstances intimately. For instance the scent of lavender will draw me out without fail.
These can happen without warning and during hypnosis. Being cautious about body language, tone of voice and sudden changes in mood are the best you can do without guidance from the one with lived experience.
I'd also cautiously warn to end a scene and check in if there is an unexpected switch and there's no negotiated playbook on what to do in case of a switch.
The first Madison and Belladonna story tells the story of that very circumstance because that happened in my real life.
For safety it is best to try and communicate with the entire system over how to approach any aspect of hypnosis play. Exploring is a collaborative action and it can be a rewarding experience to find what works and what doesn't work. But it does take time.
For some basic "until I know better" rules, I'd say NEVER FORCE A SWITCH is a fairly basic rule, though. Also do not assume consent for a specific part/alter counts as consent for the whole system.
There is so much to say on this topic and I will likely revisit it at another point, but much of the safety tied up with DID and identity based dissociative disorders boils down to the fact that you are negotiating consent for a group and that you cannot always guarantee that the hypnotee at the start of a scene will always be present during the entire scene.
To that, I say treat switches like an abreaction, display acceptance and curiosity and don't get too hung up on the circumstances.
At the end of the day plural folx are just people too, just not person.
So... why did I write all this, anyway?
A lovely friend of mine recently joked that Charmed 2024 was the "Year of Plurality" and in a way they were right. I've been attending the event since 2020 and where my first had been a humble little class of 8 or so people on a Sunday afternoon ran by Vulpes Automata (Vulpes teaches the same class at Plural Positivity, albeit without the hypnosis content, a recording is hosted here) this year's event included many systems declaring themselves as such on their badge, both an in-person and online unconference that stretched beyond the time limits put in place and were feverishly well attended.
It has done my heart so good to see the safety and community growing and becoming more accepting.
It reminds me of the community's slow growth to accepting and embracing the transgender community in the mid-2010s.
Which is why I wish to be firm about trying to stop bad ideas from taking root in how we teach on these topics.
Some may remember that in the 2000s, respectable resources teaching hypnokink used to state firmly to "confirm biological sex" with any potential play partner. Said material has been revised. Times change and communities grow.
So when I see this teaching graphic saying that those who dissociate as part of a mental illness "Can't" be hypnotized, due to safety concerns? I get worried.
It was being used in a 101 class at the very same Charmed event that I am praising for having such good acceptance of plural experiences?
I lived this once as a closeted transgender woman. I don't want to live it again with our DID.
And I remember that "never play with anyone who has a mental illness" used to be taught in the same resources that once said to disclose one's "biological sex". People have taught this in classes and been approached by someone who had a mental illness and told how ignorant it was to teach that they could not be played with.
We, as a community, can do better.
I'd rather a 3 hour 101 become a 4 hour 101 and teach this material than to dismiss those who are the most vulnerable and susceptible and have them seek their trances from those who do not have reservations about safety and ethics.
Thank you for reading. I know this was a big soap box.
#dawn posting#hypnokink#hypnosis#hypnokink writings#charmed 2024#did#bpd#community resources#community safety
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So first thing, love your ecto AU Danny’s design is amazing and I love how you draw Sam too!
I do want to ask, how is Danny treated at school by Dash and the others? (both pre and post accident if he’s more into ghosts like his folks, and he comes in with a really hurt eye and partially paralysed arm with all the scaring)
Thanks ☺️ 👻
I am working on a comic about this! but I don't mind explaining it here (hell, it'll probs help me get my ideas in order better), questions about this Au are very encouraged so don't be shy guys:
Danny has been interested in ghosts for long enough that most of his peers know, even if from 6th grade onwards he attempted to hide it because it wasn't exactly "cool" or "normal". He was bullied a lot, and most of it probably called back to how he was from a family of "crazy people ", I can also see adults playing a part especially in his younger years by trying to gently dissuade him from being like his parents.... All in all this Danny is Isolated more than anything else, he feels alone in his interests with only his parents to turn to. Jazz? Uhhh that deserves it's own thing.
The injury. Ok. The dynamics of the incident are intentionally fuzzy, what you need to know is that Yes. The Fenton parents KNOW the incident happened, they just don't know the full consequences of it (Danny being half ghost). He was taken to the hospital and stayed there for... About a week. I'm not going to get into too much detail here, but the rumours around town were going wild; saying the Fentons had gotten their son injured or worse due to their work, and when Danny eventually went back to school in a sling and with half his face fucked up... Things didn't exactly get better.
In short, Danny isn't really bullied anymore, at least not physically- if anything the popular kids have just taken to pretending he doesn't exist. The teachers and other adults just look at him with varying levels of pity and honestly Danny is just sick of it, on top of dealing with a ton of other things mentally. Thank god for Sam and Tucker.
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Taking a look at Mizi and Ivan as symbolic of Till’s desire for escapism vs. having to acknowledge the cruel reality he lives in:
When people think about Ivan and the idea that Till “never looked at him,” many people take this claim either in the literal sense or in the sense that Till was not appreciative of Ivan’s presence when he was still alive, both of which can be disproven with canon material. However, I want to take this idea and apply it in another way, of Ivan being the reality that Till does not want to acknowledge or face.
One of the most defining aspects of Ivan’s character is his rejection of idealism, to the point that you could honestly say that he leans towards nihilism. This is in great contrast to Mizi pre-Round 1, who was sheltered as a child and throughout most of her young adulthood, right up until the actual Alien Stage competition itself. The disconnect between these two and their worldviews can most readily be seen when comparing their intimacy levels with each other, with Ivan having a hard time relating to Mizi due to her innocence, whereas Mizi, although very fond of Ivan, seemingly only knows the version of him that he specifically curated and hid behind for the sake of survival.
(Text: "Intimacy: 75%. A cool friend with a prince-like smile! The object of every child's admiration! Whenever I don't know something, he's always kind and teaches me.")
(Text: "Intimacy: 30%. I like Mizi because she has a purity that is free of lies. As you get older, its natural to become pessimistic about your situation. But sometimes... its so bright it's difficult.")
(Text screeshot taken from a previous post)
Till was most definitely a witness to the different faces Ivan wore, being one of only two people that Ivan let his mask down around. But Till knew Ivan even before he started actively masking, before their first fight even, when he saw Ivan small and beaten from his holding cell.
Ivan is like Till’s shadow, ever present. Shown to us to almost always try to be by Till’s side even in his worst moments, especially in his worst moments. And while the two of them are friends, and I’m sure Till is glad that he doesn’t have to go through his ordeals completely alone, what comes with Ivan is an aching reminder of Till’s cruel reality. With Ivan there to care for Till in the aftermath of his mistreatments, there is now a witness that also carries the knowledge of what happened to him, and that can be both comforting and horrifying. These are no longer contained occurrences between Till and his abusers that Till can try and use escapism (Mizi) to ignore. Ivan knows and will always be by Till’s side, and so will the reality of Till’s circumstances.
This isn’t to say that Ivan’s presence is a detriment to Till but far from it! Reality cannot be fully ignored; you must come to acknowledge what is or has happened to you and then go forward with that to try and see what can be done about it.
Which leads us to the meteor show incident.
Till taking Ivan’s hand and leaving what he knows behind is NOT him ignoring reality but is him trying to escape from the constant abuse he suffers. Till should never have to “accept” the torture he is put through, and neither should anyone else who is in an abusive situation. The meteor shower escape attempt is simply a chance for something to be done about Till's circumstances—to leave and hopefully be able to live a life more independent and free away from the creatures and system that torments him, similar to Hyuna’s own escape.
It must be reiterated that in this moment, however, Till is leaving everything he knows behind, his entire life up until this point, and that scares him...
Till letting go of Ivan’s hand isn’t as simple as “Till running back to his crush." It's Till not wanting to leave behind the most prominent source that he’s used to cope with basically everything in his life.
And obviously Till cares for Mizi as a person, but he also sees her as much more than that. She is his light in the dark; she is his hope—innocent and yet to be scarred by the world.
Till going back is NOT a failure on his part or something that he can be blamed for. It's sad, but also incredibly human and understandable. A lot of people would have probably gone back, choosing familiarity over the unknown. I probably would have gone back.
Talking about Round 6 now, it makes perfect sense how devastated Till is over Mizi’s disappearance. It's important to face reality, yes, but it's also important to have something to emotionally rely upon to get you through your darkest moments. Outside of Mizi, Till doesn’t really have anything that he uses to comfort himself; sure, he writes and draws, but he’s made those things about Mizi with her being his muse.
Till’s obsession with Mizi isn’t healthy, but it's also all he believes he has. Ivan is still there, of course, but he’s not like Mizi. Till could never view him in the same light as he does Mizi, but at least he’s still here. Him being the only one left, a reminder of all he's lost, sure, but he's still here.
Then he pulls his stunt, and he’s gone.
And Till, who had decided to give up in the absence of Mizi, is forced to really look.
I don't have much to say about Round 7 because I'm not entirely sure how to feel about it yet, but I want to point out that Till didn't know that Mizi was trying to save him. When he was singing and fighting for his life on that stage, he was doing it for himself. He wanted to live! Despite everything he wanted to live, and the importance of that and that he was doing this for himself cannot be undersold.
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alnst mizi#alnst ivan#I hope this is good. at all.#Till mains I hope I did your guy justice#also obviously don't blame Mizi for Till idealizing her or what happened in Round 7 I just want to make that clear#I love Mizi shes a good character
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Hello !! Can you write hcs on how it would be like to be dating ticci toby before the incident happened, And then maybe hcs on how it would be once you reunite with him after the incident? (Neutral reader preferred🙃)
I didn't know which version to write for..So I wrote Tobias Adams.
Warnings: Implied smut,mentions of abuse,mentions of self-harming,mentions of neglectful parents,mentions of blood,canon-typical violence can be seen,mentions of Jeff,mentions of the great valued slenderman.
Dating Tobias Adams includes:
Pre-incident:
•You probably met him through his sister,back when you were kids. Befriending him was not quite hard,friendliness being one of his attributes.
•After some months,he told you about how his mother had gotten a new boyfriend. With what he told you,you got bad vibes from his new father. He told you he had the Same feelings.
•After some months,the abuse was told to you by him. Just like Mr.Crothers, even you told him to call the CPS.But after his reason,you had to oblige to stay quiet.
•He would always come to you whenever he was hurt,asking you to patch him up.
•He would let you know most of his family issues.
•You both were definitely friends for atleast 3 years,until he decided to ask you out. Of course,you didn't reject him.
•In the relationship, he'd tell you EVERYTHING. About him,his family,everything.
•Initially,if he cried he'd ask to be alone. But over time,he'd come crawling to you,sleeping in your lap.
•Due to him getting bullied,your relationship would be a secret to everyone, except his sister.[Though you coming to his defense made people suspicious.]
•Kisses would be gentle, tired yet passionate.
•Sex would not take place at all.
•He'd be tired/drained out Or be more needy for emotional support rather than sexual.
•You would 100% defend him about the Danny rumours. You knew he wouldn't kill his best friend.
Post-incident:
• He would show up at your house after the fire and Mr.Crothers' death.
•He told you everything,including the tall being with serpent-like tentacles.
•He will definitely cry in your arms,for a long,long time.
•You will have agree with his decision of turning himself in at the Pinehearst hospital.
•And you will wait for him,even if it's more than 6 months.
Reconciliation:
•Will crawl into your window at a time he knows you'll be awake.
•Will wait in your bed.
•Once you come,both of you will hug eachother tightly.
•He'll then show you the wound a certain albino killer gave him.
•You'll patch him up.
•And then,it starts.
•He won't tell you much about the tall being,but otherwise,you'll know everything.
•You'll let him stay with you.Of course,keeping it a secret.
•He'll make sure it won't hurt you,nor will that maniac from the hospital.
A/n: dividers by @cafekitsune .
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my headcanon is fiddleford being the best caretaker for ford pre-portal incident and for stan post-portal (in my mind they are both regressors). fidds is so very oldest sibling energy to me, and i just know he would make sandwiches with crusts cut off and set up coloring pages or word searches.
- @lavenderslittlespace 💌
(Let’s say this is an alternative universe where Fiddleford doesn’t completely forget everything and Ford comes back sooner than 30 years)
Fiddleford is a father, not the most present, but a father nonetheless. I also like to hc him as an older brother to several siblings, so he knows how to look and after children of several different ages. I figure pre-falling out with Ford, Fidds started caring for him slightly in college, but it went into a caregiver/little relationship during their research. In college it was small things of reminding Ford to eat and sleep, to give himself a couple of hours of rest a day. When they began to work with each other, it started off the same as in college, but Ford seemed different this time, his ramblings seemed more childish, and instead of about advanced mathematics, they were about inane things such as Whales and Boating facts. He followed Fidds around everywhere he went, and seemed less inclined to argue, but more inclined to whine and pout, acting almost like Tate did. Fidds decided that he didn’t really mind taking care of Ford in this way, he was mighty cute, and it fulfilled those fatherly and brotherly instincts of his. It was an adjustment period-mostly for Ford-but they worked through it.
Fidds helped Ford destress and calm down when the work and research made him anxious and run himself ragged. I don’t think Ford would be as open with Fidds as he is with Stan when little, Stan’s his twin, his other half, they get each other like no other. But Fidds is his (second) best friend, he still loves him, so he lets himself let go around him, lets himself drift into that fuzzy headspace where he has no worries and no deadlines. And he trusts that Fidds won’t hurt him and won’t let anyone else hurt him, he trusts him to take care of him. He can trust that Fidds isn’t being mean when he calls Ford “Bookworm” or “Bubs”, and that he’s not tricking him when he brings Ford space themed coloring books with glittery crayons that Ford talked about to get the sparkle of the stars just right. He doesn’t call him a “know it all” when he talks about the books he read. Fidds even got Ford a stuffed Owl he named “Owlbert”. He can be free to draw and talk until his hearts content with his Fidds.
Until Bill gets into his head and Fiddleford briefly goes into the Portal, and leaves, Ford doesn’t regress again without him. And then everything happens in canon, Ford goes through the Portal and then there’s Stan. All alone, without his brother, his better half.
Stan does okay for the first year, he’s focused on supporting himself, paying off Ford’s mortgage and student loans, working through the night in the portal. But the second year happens and Stan starts feeling downtrodden and hopeless and he misses Ford so much that he just sobs and sobs until he finds himself feeling fuzzy and smaller sometimes. Those times he just drags around a coat of Ford’s, puts on a familiar show, he really likes Popeye, and colors. They mostly end up scribbles of color, but he still finds the act relaxing.
A few months of doing…whatever it is he’s doing that calms him down, Fidds comes into the picture. He comes to the cabin to stop Ford after a flash memory of the portal. He finds not Ford, but a sad man that looks like him, but with too few fingers and eyes too weathered. He’s confused, thinking Shifty must’ve broken out of the bunker or something happened with the portal, but Stan calms him down enough to explain that no he’s not a shape shifter and yes he’s human, he’s Stanley Pines, twin brother to Stanford Pines. That was a doozy to explain because Ford never talked about his family, not much beyond his father’s expectations of him. And when Stan explains that Ford went through the portal, Fidds’ remaining anger at Ford is put on the back burner for now because his Bookworm is out there and alone and probably scared. And he’s scared because he can’t work in the portal, not after everything, but the portal needs to work to get Ford back. Stan gets him to agree to work on the equations in the attic, as far away from the basement as possible, and only during the day.
Fidds does agree after a few weeks on needling to help out in the lab in the occasion, he has the engineering degrees after all, not Stan. But that time spent with Stan leads to a few revelations for Fidds. And the first one is that he’s a lot like Ford, in more ways than just their looks. He ends up having to remind Stanley to eat, sleep, to take a break just like with Ford. He notices that Stanley goes all fuzzy in the eyes sometimes, like Ford does-did-he sometimes catches him scribbling on a page while wrapped in Ford’s trench coat, chewing at the edges of his shirt.
But Stan’s a bit different than Ford was, his interests are simpler, not that Stan is simple or anything but he just as a whole seems…younger in mind. He doesn’t talk as much as Ford did, he doesn’t really talk at all, and he still seems to guarded. Towards Fidds and towards himself. Slowly, over the months, as Fidds shows his dedications towards Stan and his health and well being, Stan slowly begins to lower his guard, to let himself enjoy it whenever he feels little, and to let himself trust Fidds to take care of him, that he won’t hurt him like everybody else has. And he doesn’t. No matter how many messes he makes or how irritating he thinks he is (he isn’t), Fidds doesn’t yell, scream, hit, or otherwise at him. He uses soft touches, soft voices, and soothing hums. Stan likes it, he likes that he can trust Fidds, likes how he gets called “Lil’ Captain” and “Pumpkin”, and he likes how he’s encouraged to let himself go and feel like this.
And Fidds likes it too. He’s not using Stan as a replacement for Stanford, they both have their special place in his life and in his heart, and nothing can change that. When they get Ford back, Stanley will still be his little Captain, and if Ford will have him, he’ll welcome his Bookworm back into their little family happily.
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls ford pines#gravity falls stan pines#gravity falls agere#gravity falls headcanons#gravity falls drabble#age regression#sfw agere#fandom agere#fiddauthor#fiddstan#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#agere headcanons#age regression headcanons#gravity falls age regression#I know this is a lot of tags#but the people need to be reached
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angst buddie fics
all mature rating!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)
leave the light on (i'll be coming home) by: hmslusitania "an accident on a call leaves buck with custody of chris after eddie is... missing presumed. while they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite eddie's parents' best efforts -- a john doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home." word count: 44k important tags: amnesia, mourning, grief, hurt/comfort, getting together, happy ending tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) by: withmeornotatall "eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia" word count: 43k important tags: time loop, minor buck/natalia, weddings, love confessions five minutes by: onelonely_tortillachip "after the lawsuit, buck decides to take a small vacation to take a break from the stress of coming to work each day to a group of people who can't forgive him. he decides to fly back to wyoming to the ranch he worked on as a younger man. but the flight he is scheduled to take doesn't make it to its destination" word count: 71k important tags: post-lawsuit, emotional hurt/comfort, airplane crashes, found family, depression, oblivious!evan buckley, grief, survivors guilt i'll feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe by: turningthepages "a car accident leaves eddie without ten years of memories. he forgets meeting buck, falling in love, getting married, and bringing two more kids into their life. as eddie struggles to adjust to this new life, buck struggles with being in love with someone who doesn't want to remember him. oh, and they have really cute kids." word count: 128k important tags: amnesia, car accidents, hurt/comfort, married!buddie, hurt!eddie diaz, insecure!evan buckley, slice of life, future fic when it comes back to you by: gisellelash "the one where eddie and buck meet when they work together on eddie’s uncle’s ranch, and again when eddie walks into the 118 eight years later." word count: 21k important tags: different first meetings au, first love, internalised homophobia, second chance, emotional hurt/comfort, mental health, soft!buddie, boys in love both blade and branch by: daisies_and_briars "the chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but buck still manages to pull it off. during a double date with marisol and natalia, nonetheless. eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as buck recovers from yet another trauma, eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. he’s not quite sure what version of buck he got back." word count: 62k important tags: paranormal elements, slow burn, hurt!evan buckley, eventful comfort, emotionally hurt!eddie diaz like when the sun came out by: spaceprincessem "buck can see ghosts au" word count: 39k important tags: ghost au, hurt/comfort, mentions of suicide, happy ending, boys in love, getting together the light's been out through, baby by: hattalove "six months after the near-fatal shooting of a member of the lafd, footage of the incident surfaces on social media." word count: 15k important tags: shooting, minor buck/taylor, getting together alone again tonight with you by: woodchoc_magnum "in which eddie and ana are dating, buck is secretly in love with him, and christopher isn't handling it well." word count: 37k important tags: pre-relationship, pining, team as family, jealousy, season 4 standing on the brink of emptiness by: woodchoc_magnum "in which eddie is struggling in the aftermath of being shot, learning how to take care of himself and realising he's in love with buck; and buck is dating taylor, taking care of eddie and christopher and trying to figure out why he's so goddamn confused about everything." word count: 70k important tags: season 4, injury recovery, ptsd, slow burn, minor buck/taylor, pre-relationship, getting together
#buck x eddie fic#buck x eddie#buddie fic#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie fics#911 abc#911 show#911 fandom#buddie fic rec#buddie 911#evan buck buckley#buck x eddie fanfics#buddie fanfic#buddie recommendations#buddie recs
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Characterizing Characters
Bakugou Katsuki.
I’ll be using the source material to create a simple list of traits he has already, then based on those traits, things we can infer about him based on those behaviors.
SourceMaterial!Bakugou is a hothead, we know this. However, at UA, his anger is almost never unreasonable. He is regularly the butt of his classmates jokes and teasing, which makes him argumentative. Outside of that he is just a very competitive teen with a grumpy disposition. He is pre-irritated.
SourceMaterial!Bakugou is rarely malicious in his words. Most things he says seemingly comes from a place of indifference. (Calling people extras, taking a long time to learn names and quirks, etc.)
SM!Bakugou is a goody two-shoes, despite his mouth. He sleeps early, studies hard, has been seen yelling at his classmates about making sure to eating well.
SM!Bakugou is socially awkward. He doesn’t just struggle with being nice, he struggles with being appropriate in general.
SM!Bakugou has great deductive reasoning skills. It helps in battle as well as him learning about interpersonal relationships.
SM!Bakugou is half decent with kids, he makes a point of analyzing and understanding their behavior to relate to them.
SM!Bakugou is a tough love kind of guy, but he actively acknowledges his classmates strengths.
SM!Bakugou has mission anxiety from both times he was held hostage.
SM!Bakugo regularly pushes his physical limits, regardless of injury or wellbeing.
Now we can make some inferences based on the information we have already.
ProHero!Bakugou found better outlets for his anger. MMA, quirk ranges, general exercise, etc.
ProHero!Bakugou still hates the press, but has learned how to conduct himself professionally. His interviews give the same cold feel as Aizawa’s.
ProHero!Bakugou would hold youth self-defense classes featuring different heroes, to prevent incidents like the sludge villain from happening again.
ProHero!Bakugou would take on many mentees and sidekicks. Feeling he’d be the best person to whip them into heroes.
ProHero!Bakugou would not give lots of verbal praise to his mentees and sidekicks. He’d just give them more responsibilities as the are able to handle them.
ProHero!Bakugou would have similar scaring to ProHero!Sero. Scars from injury and muscle damage would be most prominent on his shoulders, biceps, and forearms.
ProHero!Bakugou would work very closely with ProHero!Kirishima, ProHero!Jirou, and ProHero!Uraraka. Relying on their skills in combat, reconnaissance, and rescue, respectively.
Now, some personal headcannons I have. 💥
Bakugou rolls his eyes, A LOT. Mainly to keep himself from saying something out of pocket.
He cracks his wrists a lot, and his fingers are always sore.
He is a momma’s boy, but he’s an easier child for his father.
Bakugou is a polyglot.
Bakugou wouldn’t date another hero, but not a regular civilian either. Maybe someone in the medical field?
Bakugou has cuteness aggression with animals and his friends think it’s hilarious.
He takes Yaoyorozu with him to events because, “She’s the only one with any sense around here.”
Bakugou has gotten in trouble for modifying and tinkering with his gauntlets without approval.
Let me know who I should do next. I may do a secondary post the further I get into rewatching the show.
#bakugou x reader#bakusqaud#katsuki bakugou#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#bakugou headcanons#mha headcanons#mha fanfiction#mha x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#bnha#bnha bakugo katsuki#misssmina#mha#bnha fanfiction#bnha fluff#characterizing characters
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