#both of them definitely have room to grow but unfortunately they're very good at blaming each other

[em-dualism]

“...I know me making friends now means there has to be some changes.” The white Gemini Spark sat on the side of the Wave Road, watching his twin fight viruses. “Is it really that hard?”

“To stop sticking up for us?? Yeah, it kinda is,” Black insisted as he punched a virus into bits of data.

This was complicated, it was true. Before Pat had decided he wanted to try making friends, Rey needing to front hadn’t been as much of an issue. People around them saw Pat as being moody and standoffish sometimes, but mostly quiet. Not the kind of person people went out of their way to interact with. And that was a reality he could accept back then. Now one misstep could mean people becoming suspicious of him. He’d already had to make up lies to try and cover up...

“The fact you gotta worry about it so much is the problem, ain’t it? People are gonna think bad of us no matter what you do. It was easier when you were keeping to yourself!”

“I know, I know... but some people are different. And you know that.” White wasn’t going to back down so easily on this. 

Neither was his twin, however. “And why do I have to be the change here, huh? Have you thought about this at all? I’m so jarring to people because you let ‘em walk all over you!”

“...” White didn’t really have a good response. Wasn’t it easier for Rey to just calm down? He didn’t want to start another episode like what happened in Whazzap, but... what would be the easiest thing to do differently?

[fullmarvelheart]

Wakanda

Pairing: Avengers x Enhanced!OFC

Word Count: 3,000

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of past trama

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 5 of Blue Starlight. I hope you all enjoy the story as well as the way I wrote the characters! The gif is not my own. All rights to the original creator. I hope you guys enjoy!

Series Masterlist

The plane lands and I'm almost blinded by the bright sunlight that reflects in off the tarmac as the ramp is lowered down.

Waiting for us is whom I'm assuming is the King, based on what Cap briefed us over, along with his personal guards. When Cap told us about the Dora Milaje, to say I was impressed is a gross understatement. I knew they were the fiercest warriors in Wakanda but seeing them up close, they're almost as intimidating as Natasha is. Even the Kingsguard looks exceptionally deadly.

"Should we bow?" Banner asks Rhodey as they exit the jet before me.

"Yeah, he's a king." Rhodey responds in an almost serious tone. Which apparently Banner doesn't catch onto.

As the Captain greets King T'Challa, Banner clears his throat and starts to bow.

"What are you doing?" Rhodey questions loudly enough to catch the King's attention.

"Uh, we- we don't do that here." The King says, somewhat awkwardly.

I chuckle to myself as the group begins to walk.

"So how big of an assault should we expect?" I go to answer the king but am cut off.

"Uh sir-sir, I think you should expect quite a big assault." Banner says pushing his way to the front while I roll my eyes.

Shut up. You don't even have the slightest idea.

"Thanos will most likely send one of his support ships, like the one that was in New York not too long ago. He calls them Q-Ships. He won't send his full army here, just what is deemed to be enough to overwhelm the forces on Earth, so the stone can be retrieved." I explain loudly but lower my voice as I get closer to the King, who looks at me curiously.

"How are we looking?" Natasha asks softly, diverting attention away from me, thankfully.

"You will have my Kingsguard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and..."

"A semi-stable 100-year-old man." A new voice says walking up to us.

I take in a sharp breath and freeze. The Winter Soldier. Please don't let him still be with HYDRA! That's not something else I want to deal with today. But, he's smiling and doesn't look anything like the last time I saw him. He's not glaring at anything and he has plenty of emotions that I notice, just with one glance. He outwardly looks happy, healthy, but I can see pain and guilt still present in his steel blue eyes.

I can see it because I recognize it in myself.

As both Cap and him share a friendly embrace, I see Sam move into my periphery, though I don't acknowledge him.

"Are you alright?" He asks in a whisper.

I blink out of my frozen state and give him a tight smile and nod. As I'm turning back around, I see Natasha give me a curious look before turning back towards the Captain.

"How you been Buck?"

"Uh, not bad, for the end of the world." He says solemnly, yet with a small smile

I swear, this is the most I've ever heard him speak in one go. His voice isn't raspy from misuse anymore either. Maybe he's-

As if he can feel my eyes burning holes into the side of his head, he turns to face me. His eyes widen in recognition as his face changes from shock, to confusion, to anger, to regret, and then suspicion, all within a second.

"It's good to see you again, Blue." He says skeptically.

"You too, Soldier." I say in the same tone, brushing my fingertips over the hilt of a dagger on my thigh.

He glances down, catching my movements which freeze immediately.

"You remember...?" I ask softly, not knowing if I need the confirmation for his sake,... or mine.

"I remember everything." His piercing gaze moves back to me, his features stiff and cautious, waiting for me to make a move.

"Blue?" Natasha inquires, trying to lessen the tension.

"My ability..." My explanation comes out more timid than I would like as I move my hand away from the blade and give her a shrug.

Come on! Surely he's not more terrifying than Thanos! At least this one I know I can stop.

"There won't be any problems, right?" Cap asks seriously, after clearing his throat.

The Winter Soldier, or Buck I guess, says no. I can only shake my head.

"Good. Coms on and Rhodey, suit up. Saddie, I want you out here while we go in with Vision, incase anything happens." I nod in understanding as he, Natasha, and Dr. Banner follow the King and his men inside where Wanda and Vision had disappeared earlier.

I watch them trek inside while a knot forms in my stomach.

"You're nervous."

"Huh?" I turn to find Buck staring at me curiously.

"You used to make that face whenever the men were in the room. Whenever he was in the room." He explains.

I sigh and wrap my arms around my stomach while letting my head hang over.

"Can you blame me? This whole situation is something I was hoping to avoid. Plus, I wasn't exactly expecting to see you and when I did... I didn't know what would happen, or what to expect." I keep my gaze fixated on the pavement below me as I hear him take in a deep breath. Though, I know he was thinking the same thing as I was. "But I'm terrified. Like I was then." I admit with a whisper, looking up at him.

He hums, walking closer to me.

"What should I call you?" I ask suddenly causing him to snap his eyes to mine and stop.

He hesitates looking at the ground before back at me.

"Bucky please, Saddie." He says teasingly.

I roll my eyes but crack a small smile. So Buck is a nickname then. Didn't know he knew the Captain that way...

"Your arm is different." I note as I look at the black metal appendage edged with gold markings. Much different from the previous silver one with the infamous red star.

He hums thoughtfully, looking down at it with a small nervous smile.

"I like it, it suits you." I tell him sincerely as I turn away from him, not waiting for his reaction.

I walk over to Sam and begin to talk to him while Bucky joins us with a rifle one of the Kingsguard gave to him. Rhodey appears in his armor and things begin to click in my head as I remember Sam and Rhodey's hero names. Falcon and War Machine. Definitely not who I'd expect to be next to at a time like this.

At one point, I decide to sit crisscross on the tarmac with my fingertips pressed into the pavement and my eyes closed. It's almost like I'm in a meditative state. I feel the energy running through this city, running under it. There's an endless supply far below me, that I manage to tap into.

It's immensely powerful!

"What ya doing there, Saddie?" Sam calls out. I realize there's probably blue wisps circling around my hands or even arms.

"Recharging and resting." I say, distantly.

"Meditating." Bucky answers at the same time, causing me to huff and send him, where I think he is, a playful glare.

"Are you already tired, kid?" Rhodey jabs humorously through the ear piece.

"I'm a creature that relies on energy for power. If my stored supply runs out and I can't tap into a source fast enough, I have to rely on the power my body holds. Meaning, I'd lose consciousness soon after I'd start pulling from my own life-force. Thanos has an army coming for Earth, and I want as much power as I can hold." I tell them, still in my meditative state. "Plus, relaxing like this allows me to extend my powers beyond Earth."

"Creature?" Sam mumbles in question to himself.

"What does that mean?" Bucky asks curiously in reference to my abilities while talking over Sam. He still doesn't know the full extent.

"It means that I can sense when they arrive." I tell them, ignoring Sam's notice of my slip. Though, with that and what I said in the aircraft, he should be piecing it together soon, if he allows his mind to focus on it.

They don't ask anymore questions after that, and leave me to myself. After what feels like several minutes later, I feel a very strong hum of power moving towards Earth, and quickly. I call my power back to me and absorb as much of the energy as I can from below me, I can see the bright blue growing brighter from behind my eyelids.

"Saddie?" Bucky sounds worried.

My eyes shoot open as I jump to my feet, looking towards the sky.

"Saddie!" Sam calls, trying to get my attention.

"They're here." I say fearfully, not moving my eyes.

I summon an energy ball as I see one of their ships quickly descending straight for us.

"Hey, Cap, we got a situation here." Sam says while looking to where I am.

That wasn't enough time to get the stone out safely!

I prepare to launch the ball in my hands when the dropship pings off the shield, exploding instantly. The force of the strike is absorbed back into the shield.

"God, I love this place." Bucky says in stark amusement while I reabsorb the power in my hand.

"Yeah, don't start celebrating yet, guys. We got more incoming outside the dome." Rhodey warns as the rest fall fast, impacting the Earth.

I feel the vibrations from the impact rattling though my bones and my breathing becomes harsher. The shockwaves bounce off the dome, making me feel only the tiniest bit safer.

"Is this what you were expecting?" Sam asks, looking at me.

I nod slowly with wide and fearful eyes, unable to speak. Though, how do you speak when one of your worst nightmares is occurring before your very eyes and is becoming reality?

Alarms blare through the city and the dread I have been feeling for some time now, grows in the pit of my stomach to the point it becomes nauseating. Unfortunately for me, I joined this fight, so I can't back out now. I swallow back whatever fear I can and focus on the chaos around me.

After several minutes, the Captain, Natasha, Dr. Banner, King T'Challa, and his warriors come running out of where they led Vision and Wanda. Dr. Banner goes straight to where a big red and gold suit had been laid out as warriors rush out to the tarmac.

"You two," Nat gestures to me and Bucky. "Come with me."

We chase after her into a transport ship that is filling up with other warriors of the Kingsguard. I see Cap and T'Challa board theirs with half of the Dora Milaje. When we get in, Natasha stands up front with Bucky right behind her, and me on his right, like it used to be. As much as I hate the memories, the familiarity of a fight and his presence is comforting.

Sam and Rhodey take off and fly above us as we all head towards the front line while we begin to merge with other ships on the way.

"How we looking, Bruce?" Natasha asks through the coms.

"Yeah, I think I'm getting the hang of it." I hear what sounds like rockets through my ear piece and cringe at the loudness "Wow! This is amazing man. It's like being the Hulk without actually..." His loud enthusiastic voice is cut short as I hear him fall.

I try to stop myself from giggling at him but can't help but slightly laugh out loud when I hear Bucky's chuckles beside me.

"I'm ok, I'm ok." I hear, but before I smile again, I actually notice just how many of the dropships there are... and just how big they look from here. I've never seen them in person, just heard stories.

My stomach lurches at the sight. There will be so many. Can we even win this?

"I've got two heat signatures breaking through the tree line." Rhodey calls out.

I move forward slightly, in hopes of recognizing which two of the puppets Thanos sent here. Bucky gently grabs my arm, snapping me out of my head, and gives me a questioning look. I move back to his side but keep my eyes set on the edge of the dome in front of me, not looking at Bucky. I'm not sure if I'd be able to hide my fear if I do. Rhodey and Sam do a fly over as they begin to circle back around.

The Captain, King T'Challa, and the Dora Milaje pile out of a transport. My transport group follows and Natasha, Bucky, and I merge with them. One of the legions begins to chant as we move forward. Though I can't distinguish the words over the sound of my blood pumping in my ears. Natasha comes up next to me and gives me a small assuring smile. I try my best to do the same, though I'm sure it's more of a grimace. We form a line and I finally spot the two of the Black Order that Thanos sent. I scowl and clench my fists at the sight and memory of those two.

"Do you think there's any chance of surrender?" Natasha muses.

"No, it's not the way of the Black Order." I say with a slight growl.

"Well, there's always a chance." Captain says, but it's not reassuring.

He looks at me and motions for me to follow as him, Natasha, and King T'Challa start to walk in the direction of the dome's edge. I swallow the lump in my throat and proceed to fall into line with them.

Cull Obsidian and Proxima Midnight become clearer the closer we move to them, and I try to push back my fear again. While Cull stands several feet tall than the other, with a much broader stance and deadlier appearing body and weapon, it's Proxima I fear the most. This sight of the midnight blue and black hair, brown horns, black and blue war paint, and lifeless grey eyes that make me tremble slightly. Proxima drags her sword along the dome's edge, almost hypnotized by it, watching the power crackle along her blade. She finally stops when we're at the edge, only separated by the dome.

Cull and Proxima snarl once they set their eyes on me and my lip twitches up in annoyance.

"Where's your other friend?" Natasha quips, and I have no idea which other one she's referring to.

"You will pay for his life with yours." Proxima says in the most emotionless tone I've heard her use. Her mechanical voice sends an unpleasant shiver down my spine. "Thanos will have that stone." She moves closer, as to intimidate. But so do I.

"That's not going to happen." Captain says, seemingly unbothered but determined.

"I will make sure of it." I growl.

Proxima directs her gaze to me.

"The traitor... or at least, one of them." She muses, a gleam flashes in those deadly eyes as she smirks at me. "You are nothing without your other half. A child in regards to your abilities. Weak." I know she's trying to get a rise out of me, I know it, but it's working.

Her words stroke the grief and self-doubt I had buried for this fight, making it rear it's ugly head. Before I get the chance to even move, King T'Challa speaks as Natasha moves me back.

"You are in Wakanda now. Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood." I look at the King with wide eyes, knowing he doesn't realize just who the Mad Titan is.

"We have blood to spare." Proxima states before striking her sword up into the air.

I scowl at her, but that falls into a frown when the drop ships begin to whirl and extend. We quickly make our way back to the frontlines.

"Are you ok?" Natasha asks as me move back towards the group.

"No, not really. But I'll be able to fight." I tell her, gathering what courage I can. She gives me a hesitant nod, but says nothing else. "I really hate her." I grumble, which earns me a small chuckle from Nat

I try to clear my mind and focus on my powers on the rest of the way back. I focus on what I feel, where it is, and how I can use that to my advantage, like I was taught. We get back to our forces as Bucky looks on edge but doesn't look away from the ships.

"They surrender?" He asks sardonically, knowing the answer.

"Not exactly." Captain breathes as I move to Natasha's side.

I feel the ship release the army that lurches inside.

"Here we go." I nervously breathe.

Falcon flies along the edge, circling as a scout, but I can already feel the pounding of their sharp and deadly paws vibrating against the ground. As they get closer, the thunderous pounding reaches my ears over the sound of my own heartbeat. I absorb the little bits of kinetic energy from them as they run. I feel Natasha's stare on my loose fingers which begin to glow a slight blue.

King T'Challa begins a battle chant as I feel the army slow at the edge of the tree line. Proxima strikes her sword down, letting it fall out of the air, and the army begins their charge forwards. There's more of them, more than I imagined. And they spill out of the tree line like a tidal wave of death, charging towards the dome.

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

17 - So Called Guardian

This Chapter’s Songs:

November; Tyler The Creator

Desire Lines; Lush

Show Me How; Men I Trust

- Y. L. Perspective

I swiftly take off my blazer, shoes, and tie, keeping an eye on the new yet old girl. After she had introduced herself to me, she finished up her conversation with Kiyoko. As I hid behind the locker to change my outfit, I listened in on Eclair and her reason for being here.

"Yeah, so I just got back! I'm leaving again around next week! I'm on spring break to see my mom, so I thought I could by after school to visit the old club! Maybe if Takeda lets me, I could stick around till I leave," she mumbles, smiling down at her shoes. The girl looked like an unboxed expensive doll with rich clothing included. "Oh...I have a question."

Kiyoko hummed, tying her shoes on the bench.

"How's Koushi doing?"

I felt as if my ears were stretching out towards her, hearing every single vowel she spoke out. 'Suga? What does she want to do with him? Maybe they're old friends.' I hoped and prayed that the two weren't involved in anything together. If so, that would give me another issue. I didn't want some beautiful girl near Koushi if they had history. Especially not if they're so close for them to be on a first-name basis.

I slam my locker shut, getting ready to put on my shoes as well. Both girls are surprised by the sudden sound, but I ignore it, continuing to "mind my own business."

"Uhm..." I feel Kiyoko's eyes wander towards me at the mention of Sugawara. "He's been doing pretty good ever since school started. I don't know much about his personal life."

I spot her hands tightening in on each other in the corner of my eye. "Oh! Okay, I'll just ask Daichi then. The only reason I'm asking is that...well...you know."

'You know?! What the hell does this girl want with Koushi?! And it's not like I can say I'm his girlfriend or anything...' I think to myself, finishing getting dressed. "Hey, Kiyoko, we should probably get going. We don't wanna be late to practice," I mutter in a nervous voice, rubbing my neck.

She nods to me. "Yeah. Uhm— Eclair is coming as well if you don't mind."

'Of course, she is.' Once again, I smile, saying, "that's fine with me! Gives me some time to know her." The girl squeals in excitement, getting a head start to the gym before Kiyoko and me.

When Kiyoko pulls open the gym doors, we're greeted by a few players that were already there. To my surprise, there seems to be a new boy in the gym.

I had expected him to greet us, girls, in a gentle manner the way the rest of the team does. Instead, he yells out to the black-haired girl, "Kiyoko! Come to my arms sweet mama!"

Repulsed, she slapped her hand against his face, making sure he hadn't touched her. "Stop that," she demanded which in her therapeutic tone that I could never take seriously. I only stood at the doorway, confused as to why there was a short, loud little man at our feet.

"I've missed you!" The boy gets back up, standing a good distance from us. Kiyoko simply scoffs before walking to the supply room, leaving Eclair and me with him. He looks our way almost immediately, grabbing both of our hands and kissing them. "Hey, ladies! Now, Eclair— you better tell me who this fine girl!"

She giggles lightly. "That's Y/n! I just met her a few moments ago, so I'm not sure I can tell you much about her!" A few moments after he turns back to the rest of the team, she leans close to my ear to whisper, "that's Nishinoya. He was our old libero before leaving for temporary discipline."

Kiyoko rolls out a basket of volleyballs, calling me towards her while Eclair greeted our players. I run towards her, helping her unbuckle the straps that held the casket together.

"So...who exactly is this Eclair?" I ask her, causing her to roll her eyes.

'I'm guessing no one good.'

"It's just an old manager that was around for a month or two during our second year. Throughout that time, she managed to get every boy on the team to wag their tail for her. I wouldn't call her a slut or anything, just very flirtatious. She didn't do much. She was more of a cheerleader for the boys so drool over," she explains. I look over to Eclair, feeling ill by the fact she was much closer to any of the players than I was. "And about Sugawara... she had a major crush on him for a while. You might want to keep an eye on him since you two are a thing."

It seemed Eclair was a huge threat already. With her formality, style, and beauty, I most definitely had my doubts about keeping Koshi in my grasp. I stared her down as she walked over towards him, greeting him with a small hug. Internally, I felt like ripping my head off at the sight. But I just tried ignoring it and continuing my task.

Thankfully, Daichi yells my name out, calling for me to head over there. I do as told and run over towards the group. He tugs at my shoulders, wrapping one of his strong arms around them. "This is Y/n. She's been a manager of ours for a week now, but she's pretty familiar with the third years. I think she'll be helping Kiyoko out until they graduate. Y/n, this is Eclair and Nishinoya— second years. Eclair was assistant to manager for a little while and Noya is our team's libero."

"Wow, that's so cool! So is Eclair gonna be a manager too?! That would be so awesome if we had three pretty girls in the club!" I cringe at how girl-obsessed this Nishinoya seemed to be and how sweet Eclair was behaving.

She smiled, giggling at the boy's question. "No, silly! I'm only here for a week! Since I'm still on spring break, I'll just be hanging out with you guys a couple of times before going back to France. I'm so sad that I have to leave all of you sweet boys for good!"

Daichi let's go of me, letting me wiggle my shoulders around. "Noya, you haven't changed all that much after leaving school for a while."

"Oh, whatever. I'm just excited to be back on the team. So, where's Asahi? Is he back yet?"

Everyone grows silent at Noya's question, looking anywhere but at him. 'Who's Asahi? This team is really lacking communication skills,' I think to myself. "Well...Uhm," Daichi mumbles in a hesitant tone.

"Damn coward." Nishinoya makes a sudden remark, changing the cheerful atmosphere he led just a few seconds ago.

Tanaka tried shutting up his peer, scared he'll get himself into even more trouble than he was already in. "Noya! Show some respect for your upper class-men!—"

"Oh shut up! He's a scared little cry baby and you know it," he yelled back to Tanaka. "If Asahi's not coming back, then neither am I!"

'So dramatic.' I think to myself, raising my brows at the awkward situation. Before anybody can stop him, he rushes out of the gym, leaving us worried. It sure was the "guardian" that Daichi described last week. Blunt and loud.

"Hm..so who's gonna run after him this time?" Tanaka groans, disappointed that his reunion with his friend came to a sudden stop.

Eclair frowns, beginning the sentence of her idea. "Maybe I could talk to him—" but she's suddenly interrupted by Koshi, who stands right behind me.

"Y/n! Why don't you do it?" He and his patronizing smile showed no mercy towards me. Placing both of his hands on my hips, he turns and leads me towards the door. "Come on, it'll be fun! Noya is always nice to gorgeous girls. Right guys?"

The team nods, chuckling at Koshi's strange behavior, given none of them had ever seen him act so touchy with me. In fact, he'd just told every member of the club that he thought I was gorgeous.

I give him a death stare, attempting to unleash myself from his grasp. He still kept a cheerful mood and was determined to see how I could handle this situation. "Koshi—I dunno... I just met the guy two minutes ago!"

When we reach the door, he suddenly got close up to my ear, whispering, "you'll be closer to the team ten times more than you were if you get him back. I just want you and the team to feel comfortable before announcing anything."

As annoyed as I was with him, I understood. My friends knew Suga, but they weren't very close to him in any way. I didn't blame him for wanting me to communicate with them. Still, that didn't change the fact I was pissed with him for putting me on the spot like that.

Sighing, I roll my eyes, awkwardly smiling at the team as they look towards us. And before I knew it, I'm off looking for Nishinoya.

I felt released when I had spotted him sitting nicely under a cherry blossom tree. As cheerful as the area was, he looked quite disappointed.

I debated once more if I should have butt into a problem that I truly had no acknowledgment of— if it was the best idea to potentially ruin this opportunity for the volleyball club. Unfortunately, he had spotted me in his peripheral vision before I could doubt myself any longer.

"Did Daichi send you?" His raspy high pitched voice questions me while he cracked his knuckles.

'Well, not him, but his best friend.'

I shake my head, sitting down in the empty spot next to him on the bench. He quickly turned the other way, crossing his arms like a child. "I'm not coming back," Noya scoffed.

I was lost. Was there anything other than coming back to the club to talk about? His skills. "Uhm, so, you specialize in defense, right?" I prayed to every presence that I was steering the right way with this conversation.

"Why do you think that?" He asks. "Cause I'm short?"

I shake my head again. "No, It's because Daichi kept calling you 'Guardian'."

"Guardian?! Where did that come from? I mean, I'm not that important. It's embarrassing—really!" Bingo! Noya grew flustered about the nickname and faced me, denying his excitement. "D-did he say that?"

"Mhm, supposedly you're pretty important."

But all good things must come to an end. After a few more seconds of happiness, he reverts to his angry attitude. "So what?! Does Daichi think giving me a badass nickname is enough to make me come back? I mean he's not wrong but—damn is Daichi that's not fair."

'It's not all that. Honestly, it's kind of cringe. But whatever floats your boat, I guess.' I wonder to myself how I could possibly make this stubborn boy agree that he was needed on the team. Without a script in my hand, I came up with the best I could do. "Look, Noya. I don't know much about volleyball or the club the way you do. Hell, I've only been here for a week and I'm already stressed out. But I'm positive that you're important to us. We have this kid...his name is Hinata. You met him earlier. You see, he has potential, but he still needs a lot of practice on his receives. And from what I know, that's the most important aspect of the game. Right?"

Nishinoya abruptly stands up, near crying at my explanation of how badly we needed him. "...wow,

L/n! You know how to convince a guy!" His voice wobbles in emotion. "Of course I'll help you! I

mean— Hinata! But that doesn't mean I'm coming back to volleyball club, I'm only gonna teach him how to do receives, that's all!"

I stand up, bowing towards the girl-obsessed guy. "Thank you, Noya."

'I did it! I got him to come back! Only for one practice, but that's still something!'

-

After taking many mental (and physical) notes on today, it was finally my time to leave practice.

Seeing Noya's playstyle helped me tremendously to understand the position of a receiver on the volleyball team. And as it turned out, he was an important player. And after this "Asahi" guy left, it only made everyone feel more diminished.

He's supposed to be another one of the third-year players. Though I've never met him, I do know that he's a boy my age but looks like a man. Supposedly, during a game that Karasuno was losing caused trouble for the entire team. Sugawara was setting and Asahi was attacking, but all of his attacks were shot down by another team. The night they came back is when he'd decided to give up on volleyball. I couldn't even imagine how guilty Koshi must have felt after that. Knowing him, he probably took on the blame for everything.

I was glad I decided to help out the club by getting Noya to help Hinata with his received. It would benefit not only them, but Sugawara as well. "How can you be confused, its just 'wooh!' and then 'pow!'" He shouts as the ball ricochets off of his wrists.

"Yeah! I know exactly what he's saying, how do you not get it?!" Kageyama says to Hinata, who's mentally challenging himself today.

"That's only because you guys teach with words!"

The day was coming to an end, finally. Dealing with a bunch of boys making noise and Eclair non-stop talking to everybody made me feel sick. But before I left to change back into my clothes, Nishinoya made a move to stop me.

"Wait, Y/n! You can't just leave without giving me your number! And where's my hug?! How about I take you out sometime as thanks for giving me such a sweet talk under the pretty little tree?" He whines, grabbing both my hands. 'Where's my hug? Mother fucker, you're younger than I am.'

Koshi spends no time running up behind me and pulling me from his grasp, telling the boy, "Noya, you need to stop harassing all the girls that step into this gym."

"Oh, come on, Suga! She's a total cutie and you know it!" He points at him. "Wait a minute...is that why you're so protective of the new manager?! You've got your eyes on Y/n!"

We both gasp, letting go of each other in an instant. "No!" Koshi and I yell while awkwardly smiling.

-

As time passes, each member dresses out and begins to walk home. When I do as well, Koshi. waits for me outside.

I would finally be able to talk with him about today!

"So, you have Noya a sweet talk under the cherry blossom tree?" Sugawara teases me, playfully bumping my shoulder while we began our walk into the roads.

I hit him back. "Stop that! That was just a coincidence. And I only got him back by saying Daichi thought of him as some knight and that he was needed on the team. That's all!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you did a good job. He said he'll stick around for a little bit to teach Hinata. Gotta say they get along great." His sweet chuckle fills the warmth around us.

Something was poking at me to ask him about the girl I'd met earlier. 'If she still has feelings for him, then should I not say anything?' "Hey, Kou?"

He hums, wrapping an arm around me. "What?"

"...what do you think of Eclair? Are you happy she's back to visit you guys?"

"Oh, I guess so. I tried not paying too much attention to her." He states, looking at the sidewalk ahead of us. Something told me he didn't want to talk about her feelings for him or if they were still there. However, I was determined to get to the bottom of the situation before having to be in the same room as the girl who likes the boy I love.

"Uhm...could you tell me about her? Like, what kind of relationship did she have with everybody? Did you guys get along? Stuff like that. I wanna get to know her without having to talk to her a whole lot," I tell him, snuggling into his shoulder.

When he walks dead silent for a few seconds, I realize that something is wrong. "Y/n..." he begins to sound a bit worried and disappointed. "I'd rather you not be around her too much."

As if I had no idea, I raise my brows innocently. "Why?"

"She just...stirs things up. I-I'd rather not have her come in between us. Thing is, she used to have this thing for me a few months before she left for France. At first, I thought she was just being polite by doing usual things that people would do when they are in love. But then after some time, I realized she had a major crush on me. And when I told her that I wasn't ready for a relationship, she totally flipped out. She made a big scene and told everybody that I was a stupid guy who only talked to girls for my pleasure." Towards the end of his explanation, he becomes more and more ashamed of what he says.

'So that means he had to have done things with other girls.' The thought that Koshi has most likely already had sex made my face heat up in both anger and sadness. Not that I had any motive to rush into that with him, but I felt more anxious he would expect more from me if the time ever came. "And...did you only talk to girls for pleasure?" My heart raced with every silent second that ran past us. Sugawara didn't want to answer my question.

"Koshi, if you've already had sex then I don't mind. I'm just asking if you used other girls for pleasure...because if so—"

"No!" He shouts gently, turning me towards him. Once again, we stood under the street light that we always seemed to stop at on walks home. "Y/n, I know I was pretty messed up but I wouldn't ever take girls for advantage and never have! And my old habits—they aren't something I should be proud of, so I don't talk about it."

"Koshi, we don't have to if you don't want to," I tell him.

"But I have to eventually, right? Why get you all caught up in a relationship you don't even fully know about."

I look into his eyes, longing for him to lay his sorrow down onto me and forget about it all. I knew that he'd never have it in his heart to do anything evil. But whatever he didn't want to tell me was eating him up. After a few moments of even more silence, I bring him back from his thoughts. "Kou?"

The boy takes one of my hands within his and brings it up to his lips, kissing it lightly. When he takes his lips back, he begins his explanation. "I've never really been able to cope properly with my mom's death, Y/n. That's why when I talk about it, I can't seem to keep myself together. And I know it's been a long time, but I'm still ashamed for giving my first time away so easily because I was overwhelmed with anger that I didn't care any longer. Things that someone should save for someone special were spent on girls who were only in it for pleasure. I was the same, but I now know that I would have saved even holding hands with a girl if it meant it was with you, Y/n. See— doing anything with you feels like the first time but better. And that's because I love you. So yeah, I slept with a couple of girls, but it never meant anything to me. It only helped me distract myself from realizing that I required feeling important and loved again. That as much as I wanted to, I couldn't be an adult at the age of seventeen. Please, tell me that you understand what I'm saying? That when I'm with you, you make me feel whole again. Like I'm loved and needed, and I can take my time with you."

When he says things like that to me, I can't help but sink into his arms and breathy close to him. I wanted nothing more than to help him cure whatever negative feelings intoxicated him. If I was what helped him, then so be it.

"Then tell me, Koshi," I whisper to him, looking deep into his eyes. The world stopped around us if only for a second to let me ask this question, even if I already knew the answer. "...who is your first love?"

Every nerve in my body jumped when he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a strong hug. If he had already done everything romantic with other women, then wouldn't that meant he was already in love with somebody previously?

No, wrong.

"You. Y/n, you are my first."

-

I loved writing the ending of this chapter sm eee

Vote mofo <3 ily

- estrxlar