#both of my folks have shuffled off this mortal coil and i miss my mother but y��know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

explode-this · 5 months ago

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Just glimpsed the cover of People magazine (I can read it free with kindle unlimited, sometimes I like to see what entertainment the old folks and straights are into, don’t @ me) and it’s Prince Harry with an inset picture of King Chuck and the headline The Real Reason They’re No Longer Speaking. It really sums up the sincere readership as the kind of folks that write advice column letters asking why their ungrateful adult children (and most of their peers’ adult children) have gone no-contact, as though it’s a trend and something their offspring do to spite them that has absolutely nothing to do with them and their parenting in any way, shape or form.

#I’d like to state for the record that i was well ahead of the curve having gone no-contact with my father in 2001 #both of my folks have shuffled off this mortal coil and i miss my mother but y’know #whatever about the old boy #i know this might sound harsh to people with loving parents but if you know you know #you don’t have to be in contact with a person who dehumanized and abused you instead of caring for you #providing a roof over a child’s head is not a complete sentence nor the extent of a parent’s duty #even if it was ‘just’ emotional detachment and lack of involvement that still warrants not having to keep a relative in your life #though most people i know who have gone NC had explicitly abusive parents/siblings i just wanted to state that it includes emotional absence #anyway if calling your mother hurts because she never asks about you and talks about your siblings all the time #or it never feels like you’re good enough and your father says he’s ashamed of you for not living up to his expectations #y’know… fuck ‘em #you might have a therapist or mentor or someone who suggests playing nice or forgiving them #and they mean well but in the end forgiveness is for you and if you don’t have a connection with them you don’t have to do that #i never forgave my father to his face #just made peace with him being a complete stranger to me #and I’m doing pretty well with it actually #that is my situation and yours may vary #but if you’ve never considered that you don’t actually have to pick up the slack or take the high road and be the better person #I’m just giving you permission to think about it #one internet stranger with a shitty dad to potentially another #and remember once your shitty dad dies you no longer have to pay dues to the shitty dads club #anyway love you fellow survivors! bye! ♥️

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