#both in that convo and throughout the amount of internalized shame in this group is. SO. MUCH!!!! I’m like??? guys??? self love???
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It’s really weird and kind of sad realizing that you are growing differently than how someone you’ve known for a long time is growing
#it doesn’t mean the end of the friendship or anything. But it is a shift#it’s really weird and sad. At least in this situation to me#I was talking with my friends from high school and just so many small comments they made…#I could see and hear the internalized shame and discouragement and lack of self love and care. and they had just. accepted it?#like my friend was talking about genuine issues she’s worried about in her new job and not feeling qualified or prepared#I know she has ADHD. a lot of the things she was talking about to me are things that are related to her ADHD#struggling to remember instructions and having poor sense of direction - both MEMORY SKILLS - while also supposedly teaching others#she said she told her supervisor that she *doesn’t know anything* and her supervisor is like *you’ll be fine* but she doesn’t think so#and like. I’m hearing that she doesn’t feel heard. she feels unqualified and intimidated. and she is gonna Put in a lot of extra work#because she’s afraid of not being good enough and feeling ashamed at not being better. and it just hurt to hear the whole group agreeing#with her approach. like the consensus was basically *yep you’ve gotta fend for yourself to put up the best charade you can to make them#think that you’re more functional than you are and you aren’t struggling*#and like. I hate that? that’s essentially adhd masking. that’s so much extra effort and work because she wont receive support from her new#bosses and can’t communicate with them her struggles in a way where she feels heard and thus won’t be accommodated#like??? I couldn’t believe everyone was just rolling with that and assuming it’s normal to hide yourself and work extra hard to compensate#for your challenges because they’re something your supposed to hide. like?? NO#both in that convo and throughout the amount of internalized shame in this group is. SO. MUCH!!!! I’m like??? guys??? self love???#googoogajoob
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