#both fucking sad as shit and weirdly heartwarming as a traumatised trans person who grew up on these games

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

genuinely like. closeted trans girl metal sonic is something I have been thinking about nonstop for the past few months it makes me feel emotions scientists haven’t even discovered. just like. god. she's already canonically got awful self image issues that cause her to self destruct and is in an extremely toxic environment that has driven her to a complete psychotic breakdown at least once. one where she's developed genuine psychological delusions to cope with the demands put on her to be the superior sonic. and i think her being trans adds so much to that.

bc she Can't be her true self in that enviroment. it’s contradictory to what her father wants of her. she can’t be a girl because then she wouldn’t be what she was designed to be and that’d mean she wouldn’t be eggman's favourite anymore and while he's not directly abusive to her (outside of neglect and before heroes) that’s bc she's spent her whole life being the golden child and witnessing your siblings be abused is in and of itself abusive. she Knows what happens to badniks who disappoint him. so she suppresses it bc she's terrified of admitting it even to herself. (i don’t think eggman would actually care tbh, but she doesn’t know that)

and it also makes her rebuilding herself into her neo metal sonic form really cathartic bc like, even if she's still in denial she's still able to make a form that’s more comfortable for her, that's both a lot more unique and expressive and also one that’s, like, pretty undeniably feminine, like, she wears a skirt. and she doesn’t need to! she doesn’t fight sonic in it, it doesn’t provide her an advantage as far as we know, she literally just did it bc she wanted to express herself. it meant a lot to me, at least, as a trans kid who grew up on the franchise. it’s something i was always weirdly drawn towards and i'm realising it’s bc it made me feel like i could be myself. bc if even evil robot nightmare machines can why can’t I?

also, it means eggman has a child who’s an egg and that’s extremely funny.