#both dan and rina love bullying their older brother lmao

[lixenn]

OCtober 2024 day 9: relationships

I'm taking this oppurtunity to offer more insight into Dan's platonic relationships since the romance features heavily in the later part of the sequel and I'm not really comfortable sharing snippets from that story until everything is properly hammered out.

So, I will talk a bit more about Dan's friendship with Vlasta. For everyone new: Vlasta is heavily inspired by my dear friend @childe-of-saulot and I love them to bits even though it feels like I don't talk much about them on tumblr OTL

Vlasta is part of Varia Housekeeping and they work as a gardener but honestly they will do all sorts of menial tasks as they are really the opposite of squeamish. Their friendship with Dan started mostly with their common interest in plants and developed from there. Dan likes Vlasta a lot, though he's often heavily exasperated with their freaky sex life and their wish to include him in on it. Otherwise they get along fine, bonding over poisonous plants and trolling people with their matching deadpan faces.

On other news! I have finally named Dan's brother, once again thank you @myrmyrtheorca for your help, I'd be lost without you bud 🫡💜

Anyways enough of my yapping enjoy the snippet under the cut, hope you guys like it 🫡

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Dan gave Vlasta a hard stare. “No, you aren’t allowed to sleep with my sister.”

That earned him their special version of a pout, which took the form of a slight frown and crossed arms. “Why not?”

“First of all: she’s married.”

“I don’t see your point, that’s just makes her hotter.”

“Second of all,” Dan stressed before Vlasta can go on more about his sister’s hotness. “she doesn’t do casual intimate relationships. Also, she prefers men.”

The smirk on Vlasta’s face filled Dan with pure dread. Whatever would come out of their mouth was going to require heavy brainbleach, he could already tell.

They tilted their head, eyes glinting, probably smelling Dan’s desperation in the air. “I could fuck her better than any man she’s ever been with.”

Goddammit.

Dan wanted to crawl into a hole and never speak to another person again. He would never be able to unhear this, it was going to turn up in his nightmares. Maybe he should just bash his head against the wall in the hopes that it would give him temporary amnesia.

…

No, he couldn’t afford to lose the brain cells.

He sighed. “No fucking my sister, don’t even talk about sex and Rina in any kind of context. Actually, don’t think about her at all.”

His words were met with more frowny pouting. “You’re such a buzzkill sometimes, Chief.”

“Excuse me for not being interested in my sister’s sex life,” Dan deadpanned, hoping to end this discussion to spare him further psychic damage.

But Vlasta was on the hunt now and they showed him no mercy.

“So, about your parents-”

He didn’t let them finish. “No! No fucking my parents either, what is wrong with you?” He held up his hand. “Don’t answer that.”

Vlasta closed their mouth, actually looking disappointed like they would have been delighted to list all their mental illnesses in alphabetical order. They probably had it written down somewhere to show it off to anyone interested because “tmi” is not part of their vocabulary.

“Wait.” Goosebumps ran down Dan’s spine, he might develop an allergy to Vlasta’s voice if this continued. “Don’t you have a brother?”

Dan was ready to utter another scathing retort on how his family members are entirely of limits for Vlasta’s version of bonding-activities, but he stopped himself at the last moment. Turned the words over in his head. Inspected them from head to toe. Considered the situation. And made a choice.

“Fine.”

Surprise crept on Vlasta’s face. “Fine? Seriously? Just like that?”

Dan nodded. “Just like that.”

“Why?”

Now, Dan could lie here. Make up some bullshit, smidge the truth a bit. His pokerface was excellent and while Vlasta might be able to see through him because they are observant and used to his lack of facial expressions, they might just roll with it if it was funny enough. Or they might call him out but it’s not like Dan ever really cared when somebody commented on his hypocrisy. Shame? Don’t know her.

But.

He didn’t really want to, so he just went with the truth.

“I don’t like him.”

“You… don’t like him.”

It was hard to pinpoint Vlasta’s tone. The slight curve to their lips and the tilt of their head hinted at a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Like a cat finding a new toy it can destroy. But one never can be sure what really goes on in Vlasta’s brain, for that way lies madness and chaos which was better left alone.

“Yeah,” Dan shrugged. “He’s a bit of a stuck-up twat to be honest. You can have him if you want, just don’t do permanent damage it would make Ma’ sad.”

Vlasta smirked. “Oh, we wouldn’t want upset Ma’, would we?” At his sharp look, they held up their hands in surrender. “No worries, Chief. I will take good care of your brother.”

Dan imagined Francesco facing what Vlasta would consider good care. And burst out into pearling laughter. His brother would be horrified, scandalized, shaken to his very core.

Honestly deserved. He really needs to get that stick out of his ass.

His chuckles died off, mouth hurting from laughing so hard. He gave Vlasta a small grin, relishing in their widened eyes. “Sure, have fun. Say hi to Checco for me, will you?”