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theoppositequeens · 11 months ago

Text

war is over (if you want it)

This is a fic written for Kay (@im-doing-hot-girl-shit ) in the Bastards of the Barrel Winter Exchange. I'm sorry it took me so long to get posted - first inspiration struck for two fics and then I had no inspiration to finish either - so on this last day you are of course getting both! Hope you enjoy them!

Ship: Helnik

Rated: T

Read on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52883680

war is over (if you want it)

Matthias Helvar was infuriating.

Nina had been aware of him since freshman year - who wouldn't be, he was freakishly tall - and even had a major crush on him, because he was gorgeous and seemed like serious boyfriend material.

But that was before he opened his mouth and started talking.

Helvar was damned smart, and he used his smarts to constantly question Nina. Any time she answered in class, or had a theory, or gave her opinion on what could have caused this psychological issue in that exemplary person, he would open his beautiful mouth and argue. He'd pick apart her answer, offer infuriatingly good alternatives and pull her into a heated debate that just made her look stupid. She didn't know why the teachers never intervened.

And so she had decided to hate him. It wasn't going amazingly, because she still admired his strong shoulders and cute half-smile from a distance, but she was trying. It was easier when he wound up taking courses he had no business taking - rumor had it that he was ex-police force, studying criminal psychology because of an injury in the line of duty. He had nothing to do in her specialized developmental psychology classes!

Yet there he was. Sometimes Nina wondered if he was taking every class available.

"Ohhh, I hate him!" Nina seethed, face planting into the sofa in hers and Inej's apartment. "The stupid man always has to punch holes in my explanations!"

"What did Helvar do this time?" Inej inquired mildly from the kitchen.

"We had a group conversation in class about what we'd do with this imaginary client, and what factors to take into account and look for, and every time I said something, he'd go: but what if it isn't trauma? Could we be looking at...", she did a bad rendition of Helvar's voice and Inej giggled. "And of course the professor happened to pass our group every time so I then had to defend my idea like a three-year-old defending her sand castle. Scrambling and badly."

"Well was he right to question you?"

Nina thought about it, and groaned. "Sometimes," she admitted grudgingly. "But he was still an ass about it."

Inej dropped the subject and Nina should have spent the evening not giving Matthias a second thought, but his constant comebacks were wearing her down, a little. Even after sushi, two glasses of wine, and quality time with Inej and Grey’s Anatomy, it was bugging her. She shouldn’t let him take up som much space in her mind. Perhaps she could just be a bit quieter in class so she wouldn't have to deal with him all the time.

In the beginning she had thought that they could be friends. They had both been clearly older than the typical uni student – heck, she'd done her degree in social work and been in the workforce a few years before feeling like she could make more of a difference as a child psychologist, especially because of the nationwide psychologist shortage. She was on average 7 years older than everyone else in her year.

So she'd placed herself beside him at the bar during freshers events, they had chatted amicably but very shallowly. At first, she’d thought he was just slow to warm up, or perhaps shy. Sometimes getting answers out of Helvar had felt like pulling teeth, though, so Nina gave up. He clearly wasn't interested in being friends, let alone more.

"Stop daydreaming, Nina," chided Inej, and Nina jerked her head around from where she'd been staring at Helvar, further down the line. She grabbed her lunch tray and started filling it, opting for the chili. Flashing her student card and paying, Nina followed Inej into the thick Monday crowd of students. Her friend moved confidently and elegantly, her lithe dancer's frame twisting to avoid other people's lunch trays. Inej somehow spotted a free table with three chairs in the inner courtyard, and beelined for it. The student cafeteria would put out absolutely uncomfortable metal tables and chairs whenever the weather warmed up, and spots outside in the sunshine were coveted despite the less-than-stellar seating. Everyone was eager to escape the noisy interior and soak up the sunshine.

"So have you heard anything about the research assistant spot?" Inej asked when they were seated.

Now well past her bachelor's, Nina had applied for the spot in the hopes of getting to do her master's thesis about the subject. The project was awesome, looking at the reliability of children's testimonies in court, and how children responded to certain types of questions. Just the kind of thing that could make a difference.

"Not yet," Nina sighed. "We'll probably hear from them next week. Did you know Helvar had the interview slot after me? I'll bloody murder him if he gets the spot instead!"

Inej laughed merrily but Nina shut her up with a question about Kaz, which made the other girl blush and peep that they were going on a third date soon. Just when they were launching into what Inej should wear, someone cleared their throat beside their table. Nina looked up, and there he was, blonde hair contrasting against the autumn glory of the maple tree in the courtyard, the reds and yellows in the sunshine making his blue eyes pop.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, Nina," he said politely, "but everywhere else is full, may I sit with you guys?"

Nina looked around, but unfortunately did not spot any alternative places to suggest instead, and so she answered with a sigh: "Sure, Helvar."

Somehow Matthias managed to fold his impressive frame onto the small metal chair, and after introducing himself to Inej he joined their lunch. It was awkward, but surprisingly not hostile. Matthias seemed warmer than he did in class, his tongue less sharp. He was mostly quiet besides, so Nina and Inej carried most of the conversation.

He stayed with them until it was time for them to bring their trays back and head to the next lecture.

"Thank you for the company," he said in his typical formal way when they parted, and as soon as he was out of earshot, Inej rounded on Nina.

"So that's Helvar? " she asked, a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Yeah?" Nina didn’t like the tone in Inej’s voice.

"Oh, girl," Inej's smile was almost blinding, "the guy has a crush on you!"

"What?" Nina stumbled. She caught herself at the last minute, feeling like the air had been knocked out of her. "No, he does not!"

"Well, clearly you didn't see the way he was looking at you," Inej grinned. "Are you sure the arguing in class isn't just some weird academic foreplay?"

Nina had laughed at Inej but the truth was: she couldn't stop thinking about him.

His big, long-fingered hands gesturing while he made a point. His intense gaze almost burning through her whenever she said something. How he tossed his head almost flirtatiously while countering her argument.

She wasn't sure what to make of it.

... and due to this additional funding, we have decided to hire two research assistants for the project. Joining you will be Mr Matthias Helvar.

If you could swing by my office on Monday, we could set up a meeting time for further discussions. Everyone on the team is looking forward to working with you, Ms Zenik...

Nina stared at the screen in disbelief. She had worked so hard for this and that was the reward? She should be shrieking with joy – the position was hers after all and she'd really wanted it – but working with Matthias Helvar on the team left her with mixed feelings. Nina read the email a third time, trying to decipher from the wording whether she was the runner-up while they would have chosen Matthias if not given additional funding. It was impossible - likely she'd never know.

She knew they likely would have to collaborate on all the basic tasks involved in data gathering and analyzing as well as general project prep. The brief had said she'd be required to do some writing as well, at least a systematic review on some background research. That would be amazing for her academic career, but would she now have to do all of it with infuriating, too-tall-for-his-own-good Helvar?

Nina arrived at the uni exactly twelve minutes before the initial appointment. Enough time to refresh her makeup and smooth her dress down one last time before she went to meet her supervisor. It couldn’t hurt to make a professional first impression with her new co-workers, and arriving a touch early, but not early enough to seem desperate, was the way to go. When she arrived on the faculty floor though, she discovered that Helvar was already there, chatting with a dark-haired middle-aged woman, a coffee mug in his hand. Nina wanted to roll her eyes at him – obviously – being there before her, but she also couldn’t help noticing how well the black shirt and gray dress pants he chose for his first say here suited him. Nina blinked, trying to shake off the notion of how good Helvar looked and entered the room.

The internship, it turned out, would involve a lot of cooperation between her and Helvar. The dark-haired woman who turned out to be their supervisor gave them an overview of their tasks for the next few weeks and then took them on a tour to introduce them to everyone on the team.

Over the next few days Nina familiarized herself with the various projects and got to know her coworkers and their areas of expertise better. On top of that, she kept up with normal coursework and classes, which meant a lot of late evenings and early mornings. She’d been annoyed to find out that she’d be stuck doing a lot of work with Matthias on top of her busy schedule, but that didn’t turn into the horror she'd somehow expected. Someone bringing down her mood constantly would not have helped at all. Matthias wasn't as combative as she remembered from their discussions in class, and he seemed surprisingly happy to be working with her. He was flexible with his schedule, always greeted her with a smile and kept up on his promised parts of the work.

He still annoyed her though. Especially in the mornings, he was way too cheery, and his constant good mood grated on her nerves. This particular Thursday, Nina had been up with another deadline all night just to catch three hours of crappy sleep and drag her ass to the university. On the way she’d had to trudge through typical November-snow slush, and narrowly managed to avoid slipping on some ice. Her favorite coffee place had been out of ingredients for a hot cocoa and once she arrived at their booked studying nook, she realized she’d forgotten her laptop charger. She was so ready for the week to end.

"Hey, Nina," Matthias said, sounding way too chipper while flopping down at the table. "I’m stuck with this research hypothesis because I found a lot of really contradicting papers. Could you give it a look. I’d like to have your opinion on it."

Later, Nina would blame her lack of sleep, or perhaps her general personality, for her next words: "Why should I give it, when you're just going to pick it apart anyway?"

She grimaced at her snappy tone. She’d sounded irritated, almost defensive. A real bitchy response to a nice inquiry.

"W–what?" Matthias looked confused for a bit, and then a little hurt before he settled on confused again. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Forget it, Matthias," Nina said tiredly. "I'm just in a shitty mood this morning."

"No," he insisted, watching her carefully. "What’s this about?"

Nina was stubborn, but she sensed he was equally so. She wouldn't be getting out of this situation without answering. And the real answer meant sucking up her pride and admitting that she'd taken his comments to heart and let them affect her.

"I just... You're always picking apart my theories in class. I just don’t think you’d value my opinion that much."

“No!”

It was an unusually loud noise from the collected and calm Matthias. Like it had startled out of him accidentally. Matthias pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead. He frowned and shook his head lightly before he continued.

“No, I – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come across as rude. I wasn’t criticizing you, I promise!”

“Alright,” Nina mumbled, still unsure, and avoided his searching gaze. It sure had felt like that to her. Matthias seemed to sense that she wasn’t convinced yet, so he continued:

“It’s just the way we were taught to engage at the academy – you know, find the weak spots in someone's plan of action and help patch the plan up. Like, bouncing ideas off each other.” He looked upset and embarrassed when she did dare to take a peek at him. “I didn’t realize it made you feel like I was putting you down.”

“Okay,” Nina said. “That makes sense, I guess. And I mean, I didn’t tell you I found it uncomfortable, so how could you know?”

Matthias sighed. “Well I’m an ex-police officer and I’ve studied years of psychology, you’d think I would know how to read a situation!”

“And perhaps I should have picked up that you weren’t being mean, just constructive in your own way?” Nina threw him a wary smile.

He smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood a bit. And gosh, was he attractive when he smiled.

“I…” Matthias hesitated a bit, and still sounded very apologetic despite her giving him an easy out. “Okay, now that I think back, I could have phrased a lot of things better. Perhaps I’m not so good at constructive criticism.”

“Yeah,” Nina said quietly, then perked up a bit. It was good to know that she’d just been misreading his attempts to debate as a personal attack. But then again, she really wore her heart on her sleeve, and, “I just tend to put a lot of myself into everything I say or do, so I guess I’m bad at separating my emotions from any argument I use? And then I tend to get a little defensive of my ideas.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Matthias said. “I really like how you can get really passionate about things, it’s such a great quality!”

Nina smiled back at him, taking the compliment with more ease than she usually did. After this intense discussion – she wouldn’t call it a fight – she felt more inclined to believe it was genuine. And really, no one was really at fault here, they just communicated very differently, and that had gotten them off on the wrong foot.

“So now that we’ve established we have very different styles of communication for academic debate, perhaps you could offer your opinion on my hypothesis?” Matthias asked shyly, putting into words what Nina was about to say. Then he blushed and looked down. “I quite like getting your input on things.”

Oh. Okay, so perhaps Inej hadn’t been far off?

“Sure”, Nina said brightly, her day looking so much better. Matthias didn’t really dislike her, she’d just misinterpreted his signals of interest. And having different communication styles wasn’t really a hindrance to a relationship if both parties were aware… “Show me what you got?”

Christmas parties weren’t always the best – Nina had been to quite a few boring and uncomfortable ones while she was working – but the psychology association at her uni tended to throw a great party. Everyone was invited, from students to staff, food and alcohol were plentiful and the decorations tasteful.

And Matthias would be there.

They’d spent most of November and December building up an easy friendship. Soon they’d dropped the excuse of doing research work and just hung out together. She learnt Matthias was addicted to cute puppy videos and that his leg injury only bothered him if he had to be standing for long stretches of time. Matthias had learnt not to stand between Nina and pizza (or any food really) and he tolerated her ranting about basically anything with good humor.

Sometimes she wondered if he would make a move, but even while they did some typical dating things like movies and bowling, he never did.

That was okay though. Nina didn’t mind taking it slow – and yet tonight she was dressed to impress. The dark red dress clung to all her curves, and Inej had helped her with hair and make-up.

The lights at the venue were slightly dimmed, but it didn’t take Matthias long to find her at the bar after the sit-down dinner was done. He was handsome in his suit, the baby blue shirt matching his eyes.

“Hey,” he greeted her, his eyes quickly raking over her form. “You look amazing tonight!”

“Thanks,” Nina said with a flirty smile, and held up a glass of wine in question. “Something to drink?”

He smiled at her and slid in quite close when he ordered, just enough that she could feel the heat of him. While waiting, he turned to her and Nina tilted her head back to get a good look at his face. His hair was slightly mussed, like he’d ran a hand through it. He once confessed that before being a policeman, he’d had long hair. It was just more practical to keep it short while working, and he hadn’t gotten around to growing it out yet. Touching it was his nervous habit.

“How was your dinner?” Matthias asked while they sipped their drinks, and Nina recounted being seated near a professor who had drunk a bit much and incited her part of the table into some spontaneous and rambunctious Christmas carols.

“That sounds like fun,” he chuckled. “I didn’t know Professor T liked singing.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say Professor T is good at singing,” Nina confessed, trying to stay serious, ”but at least he has enthusiasm!”

They both cracked up a bit, Matthias almost snorting beer out of his nose. Soon they abandoned their empty glasses and Nina took a deep breath, holding out her hand.

“Do you want to dance?”

Matthias looked stunned for a second, before he smiled widely and followed her into the crowd. It had started with a few more classical dances, but now that the professors were mostly tired, drunk, or heading home, the students had taken over the floor. Someone was acting DJ and the music was rhythmic and fast.

Matthias was a surprisingly good dancer. He kept near but let Nina do her own thing, sometimes he pulled her closer and she delighted in shimmying against him. They spun into a circle of mutual friends, who they danced with for a while, and when the crowd moved they ended up in a quiet corner, pressed against each other. Matthias’s hands on her hips were more intoxicating than all of the wine she’d consumed that evening. He was warm and strong and she would very much like to kiss him. Instead, she leaned in close and shouted over the music,

“Want to go take a breather?”

Matthias led her through the dance floor, his bulk cutting a path through the throng of people, Nina following behind. The air outside was refreshingly cold, a few snowflakes slowly descending from a dark sky. They weren’t alone on the patio, but Matthias steered her away from the gang taking a smoke – a blessing, since Nina hated the smell of cigarettes.

Instead, he brushed off snow from one of the tables and leaned slightly against it, taking a deep breath. It would be way too cold to stay outside for long without a jacket, but the alcohol warmed Nina enough that she decided she’d copy his pose for a while. That was a great idea, until her foot slipped on the icy deck.

Her arms flailed for a second before she caught onto Matthias, and he to her. Unexpectedly close, he let out a surprised and relieved huff of air, and then he was kissing her.

His mouth was warm and soft and careful at first, everything she’d dreamed of. And when she entwined her arms around his neck and rose onto her tippy-toes to kiss him back, the kiss turned delightfully smoldering and dirty. They were interrupted by hoots and cat-calls from the smokers, and Nina pulled back with a laugh, half-dazed by the kiss.

Matthias let out a puff of air, the white of his breath visible in the cold, and Nina felt herself blushing a bit. His attention and his proximity was intense. This was not how she’d expected the night to go.

Then again, she wasn’t exactly going to complain either.

“So how am I meant to interpret this kiss?” She teased. “Are our communication styles very different in this area, too, or should I assume this means you like me, because if not I’d –”

Matthias kissed her again to shut her up.

“Yes, it means I really like you,“ he said roughly. “Now, let’s get you inside, so you don’t freeze before I have a chance to take you on a first date.”

#helnik #fanfiction #fic #nina zenik #matthias helvar #matthias x nina #nina x matthias #six of crows #modern au #university au #botb winter exchange 2023

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