#borrowers trauma & pasta

[icerats]

Warnings: Child abuse, PTSD flashbacks

Part 1, Part 2

100 G/T Prompts Masterlist

Borrowers, Trauma, & Pasta: Chapter 3

(93.Please)

Please. That was a word Olivia used to say a lot. Ever since her dad left, ever since Mom blamed her for it. Please, stop lying to me. Please, stop spending my money on your drugs. Please, stop drinking. Please, stop hurting me. Please, never let Will find out. But never in her life, was Olivia expecting to have to beg for another person's life.

She was 16 then, walking home after a long 3 to 10 shift after school. Not that she minded them, she'd do anything to avoid home. When she did come home, she heard her mother screaming. This rarely affected her anymore, her mother would always find something to be mad at if her daughter wasn't around. Didn't matter if it was the TV or the nice family next door.

What was strange however, is that she actually seemed to be talking to someone. This struck Olivia as odd, Mother never invited anyone over. But maybe she tried LSD this time, Olivia wasn't particularly inclined to find out. Getting broken glass out of your hair was never fun. But something just kept nagging her to investigate. A feeling of dread that settled deep in her gut. And that day, she was glad she listened to it. Or else four people would have died that day.

It was a good thing the redhead was a master of stealth, sneaking behind her mother just to investigate. To discover what caught the monster's attention this time. When Olivia did find out, she covered her mouth to stop the gasp of shock that tried to escape her lips. Four tiny people standing on her counter top. One, a young girl. Pale skin, blonde hair, light blue eyes. Another, a boy. Dark shaggy hair, pale skin, and brown eyes so dark she couldn't find the pupil. As for the other two people, that was a generous way of describing them. Two bright red stains on the countertop. With some black hair, bones and brain matter mixed in. But they weren't only decorating the countertop, but also Mother's hand. The same bloody hand that was coming back for round three. Olivia couldn't think anymore, could barely hear anymore. Distantly she thought she heard, maybe thousands of miles away her mother's screams of "Die you filthy vermin" before it sounded instead like someone struggling to breathe. Someone choking on blood. Someone with a knife sticking out the back of their neck. Someone who wasn't breathing anymore.

When Olivia's vision became clear again, she saw her mother's corspe was spilling blood on the ground.

Oh God oh God! What did I do what did I do! I didn't kill my own mother! She can't be dead!

These thoughts continued to pound away at her head over and over again. Olivia continued to stare at the bloody corspe of her own mother. She was still warm to the touch, but she was dead there was no denying it. There was no life behind those glassy brown eyes, the knife buried in her throat made sure of that. The blood pooling on the floor continued to dye her mother red. Everywhere from her strawberry blonde hair to her no longer white t-shirt, was bathed in blood.

But it wasn't her mother's bloody corspe that horrified Olivia most, but herself. Her own violent actions terrified her to the core. How horrible does a person have to be to murder their own mother? She couldn't handle it, so she cried. Not just from guilt, but also from the stress of getting herself into this mess in the first place.

If she wasn't a sobbing mess, she might have heard the pitter patter of tiny footsteps escaping into the outlet mere feet away from her. Or perhaps she might have heard the knocking on her own apartment door. She would have known that the nice neighbors across the hall grew worried by the screams and called the cops. But she didn't notice any of these things, she was too busy disassociating from everything.

She only noticed when the cops broke down the door, and dragged her out. All of her memories were a blur leading up to her in foster care, a kind lady telling her that it wasn't her fault. It was self defense. The neighbors had been contacting the police and building a case on child abuse for a while now. But Olivia couldn't hear this. All she heard was the constant ringing of 'it's your fault, it's all your fault' ringing in her ears.

It's all your fault

It's All Your Fault

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT

I T ' S A L L Y O U R F A U L T

".....iss?...Are.....alright?"

"Miss? Miss? Are you alright?"

Distantly Olivia felt a voice calling for her. But it was a simple touch to her shoulder that dragged her out of that horrible memory. And when she opened her eyes again... she realized that she had a PTSD flashback in front of that same bitchy Starbucks barista... Great... just great.

I'm so pathetic that I got that bitch to actually feel bad for me.

"Yes! Yes I'm fine!" She snapped.

This bitch had the audacity to look at her with concern.

"Stop fucking looking at me like that? I'm fine!"

The barista shifted from foot to foot nervously, the complete opposite of the demeanor she held at the coffee shop. "Well you certainly don't look fine. You sure you don't want a ride home? I could drive you."

Olivia's eye twitched. "Why the fuck are you being nice now! You were being so condensing earlier! I can't handle dealing with two-faced bitches."

Olivia turned away at her crestfallen look. She had no right to look like that.

She twirled her dirty-blonde hair around her finger as she bit her lip. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. A lot of people say I have - what do you call it? - resting bitch face? Yeah that, and I'm not the best at social interaction..."

Looking at her, Olivia started to wonder if she read the situation wrong. But then again, maybe she was faking it. Stupid trust issues.

"Why did you purposely annoy me by spelling my name wrong? I specifically told you it was spelled with an 'O'." This time she asked not from anger, but from mild curiously.

"Well," the blonde said as she wrung her hands, "I kinda forgot? I'm not really that good at remembering things. It's only my second day working here and I already messed up so many orders... at this point I was more worried about not messing up your drink.. I'm sorry I really didn't mean to offend you and.."

Mild amusement crept over Olivia's face as she watched the barista ramble nervously. She snorted, "It's alright. I'm kind of a dick too you know, a lot more than you."

The blonde looked visibly relieved. "Oh! Thank goodness! I really didn't mean to be a jerk! This is why I don't have many friends. Are we friends? Can we be friends?"

Olivia let out a small huff of laughter, "A little desperate, are we?"

The barista went beet red. "I'm sorry! That was such a stupid ques-"

"Take my phone idiot."

"H-Huh?"

"You know, so you can put your number in."

The girl quickly scrambled to punch her number while tucking back a loose piece of wavy hair that kept falling in her face.

Olivia smiled as she looked at the contact name. "I expect that ride you offered, Alice."

~

It was only five minutes in when Olivia, sitting in Alice's car, realized that at some point she'd have to take her own car out of the parking lot. Whatever, she'll just have Will drive it back. She quickly sent a text to her best friend. Good, now it was his problem now.

"Hey Olivia?" Alice continued to drum her fingers across the steering wheel.

"What?"

"Umm what's your address again?"

Olivia sighed, "I'm starting to see why you're bad at your job. I literally told you a minute ago. I can't believe your memory is this bad!"

"No! It's not that ba- well I mean it is kinda bad but I'm pretty sure I know the address. I just wanted to confirm it!"

"And pray tell, why do you find it necessary to 'confirm' it?"

"Because it's the same apartment building I live at... apparently we're neighbors?"

"I'm sorry what?"

~

Ian collapsed on the ground, creating a cloud of dust as he fell. He did it! He actually did it. They were able to get out of there. Not as far as he would have liked, only the next apartment room over but it would have to do. He couldn't carry Elissa that far. At least not tonight. The smartest thing to do would be to get some food, and prepare to leave again.

He glanced at his sister's frail form. Perhaps the time to start looking for food was right now. It would be risky. He hated borrowing without scoping out possible dangers, this human could have a cat for all he knew, but he needed food as soon as possible. His sister was relying on him.

Ian wandered through the walls, squinting his eyes in the darkness as he looked for the perfect exit. Luckily for him borrower eyes were more like a cat than humans, allowing him to see just well enough to spot an outlet in the darkness.

Outlits can be tricky to get out of, but Ian was a professional. He had escaped through enough outlets in his lifetime for this to be a piece of cake. Taking a look at the outlet cover, Ian could see two screws in the wall holding it on place. One on top, the other one at the bottom. If he was outside the walls, this might be a difficult task. It's hard to get borrower-sized screwdrivers after all. But since he was inside, all he had to do was twist the screws the opposite direction.

Once he managed to get the bottom screw out, he lifted the outlet cover to the side as he walked out into the room. Dark purple walls surrounded him, and his eyes were immediately drawn to a shelf lined with empty monster cans. Ian grimaced, he hated the ones who were addicted to energy drinks. They always had the most unpredictable sleep schedule.

"It's fine," he mumbled to himself, but he was unsure of who he was trying to convince. "I'll just borrow when they're not at their house." Hopefully they weren't too much of a social reject, and left the house enough for Ian to safely borrow. But the monster can collection wasn't exactly reassuring him. He sighed. He had little time and a lot of food to get. Elissa was counting on him.

[seph-ic]

My favorite unofficial friend group is Rachel, Grover, Percy, Annabeth, Nico, and Will cause yes I am well aware that some of these have no basis in cannon whatsoever but I think the dynamic would be fun like:

They’re all first arc kids and I like to think there’s some odd unspoken bond from that

Tartarus club

Golden trio

Also people forget that Rachel and Grover spent a lot of time together during hoo so I’d imagine they’d be close

Nico and Percy as the token big three kids

Grover and Percy are best friends I will die on this hill

I like to think that Annabeth and Will had a similar relationship to Percy and Nico (minus the crush lol) and that they’re super close these days.

All of them fought in both big wars

Grover as the token straight friend

Rachel + Will dying all of their hair

Solangelo Percabeth double dates

Rachel and Grover stop each other from feeling like third wheels (which rarely happens)

They all hang out at Sally’s … like a lot. Cause she’s pretty much the closest any of them has to a mother figure (except will??)

Annabeth and Will nerding out about science (Physics v.s. Biology)

Nico and Rachel are liberal arts kids to death

They all have a lot of fun introducing Nico to modern day things. It’s so entertaining that they dedicate one day a month to all meeting up and showing Nico something new.

(Annabeth is black eat me) Rachel has curly hair as well so her and Annabeth swap hair care tips.

The girls actually become SUPER close and hang out all the time.

Everyone kind of takes up a big sibling role for Will and Nico. Percy and Annbeth especially and they often coach them through a lot of being-a-good-councilor-hurdles

Rachel teaches Nico how to paint. (I just remember him admiring her paintings in TON and I won’t let it go)

Will and Grover (and probably Percy) grow weed. Will uses it a lot as a medicinal herb, but he also smokes it with Grover and Percy from time to time. Also they all make weed brownies together one time and then watch Disney’s Hercules together and it’s a wreck.

TONS of karaoke, made all the better by the fact that none of them can sing. Rachel is definitely the best tho

Sparring/training together

Rachel and Will do tarot together

Grover Percy and Nico (sometimes Annabeth) play video games together alot.

They gossip a lot

They babysit Estelle

When they’re all a bit older sometimes they’ll just rock up to camp to help out and tell the kids stories

Just hanging out and drinking and being teens

Nico loves to braid the girls hair (like he used to with Bianca)

Nico will summon ancient artists, architects, and physicians, for Rachel, Annabeth, and Will to talk too

They all teach Will how to drive

Beach days

They might go camping or something

Annabeth helps Rachel work the analytics on her social media art accounts so she gets lots of followers

They all borrow each other’s clothes. This leads to a lot of interesting fashion choices

Rachel introduces Will and Percy to anime and they get SUPER into it

Annabeth and Grover build eco-friendly treehouses at camp for the nymphs and satyers

They talk about their trauma a lot. It’s much easier for them to talk about it to one another because they know they’ll understand

SLEEPOVERS. The do all the stereotypical stuff: face masks, truth or dare, movies.. ect

Percy and Nico have a lot of adventures in cooking, which they both like to do. They’ve make at least 8 different types of blue pasta

Will and Percy are honorary horse girls (wills from the country and Percy just likes horses) and they go for Pegasus/unicorn rides around camp

They all work really well in battle. Anytime there is a monster the six of them can usually take care of it in 15 minutes

Capture the flag

Secret handshakes

They will literally just show up at one another’s at 3 am to go get shakes

Percy Nico and Rachel have the same/ similar music tastes and they go to concerts together

They help each other for quests and stuff

A very active group chat

Idk I just want them to be friends and do friend things cause it’s nice and they deserve it.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Name: Ivan Smith

Nicknames: Ivy (Aya), Van, Van-Man, Van with the Plan (all by Jac), Dog (Janet), Spot, Emo-Boy, Mama's-Boy (outsiders), Puppy (Estella)

Birthday: January 25th

Age: 18

Height: 5'6

Appearance: Ivan is a pale boy with vitiligo and lots of freckles with black hair usually short cut and groomed well with one half of his hair bleached white or red depending on the occasion for him, big round soft very light brown eyes, black finger nails, rings on his fingers, and thee piercings on his ears

Clothing: His wardrobe is usually always in fashion and somewhat "Gothic" if you well, red and blacks being the main color scheme with some white thrown in if he wants. But his primary outfit is black button up shirt with a red sweater vest and a old black leather jacket, a pair of black cuffed ripped jeans with fishnet leggings underneath, white socks and black doc-martens with a worn out black dog collar to match the the look

Personality: Very brash and tough acting, bluntly honest without a care if it hurts your feelings, and overall sarcastic and sassy though loyal beyond compare and nice once you get to know him, his act of toughness comes from his fear of abandonment. In other words he's Tao from Heartstopper

Schooling: 1st Year of college studying fashion and art

Likes: Jazz music, Hot Topic, Alternative music, fashion, pasta, spa trips, summer, Autumn trends, playing his instruments, Paramore, Panic! At he Disco, teas, art museums, walks in the forests, Elvis Presley, reading, thrift stores, old French films, World War movie documentaries, smoking weed, chocolate shakes, beef tacos, meatball subs, Mnt Dew, Lattes, Starbucks, Halloween

Dislikes: Being picked on by his vitiligo, being called emo-boy, getting lusted after cause he's Goth, someone lusting after his friends when it's clear they aren't comfortable, sexism, really bad fashion trends, horizontal strip patterns on shirts, really cold winter or fall, losing or breaking his vinyl records, cheaters, art thieves, copy-cats, cats, racism, when someone interrupts a movie night, being left our or not able to do something, really crazy theorize, being hit on the back that isn't a friendly or familial back pat/rub, werewolves

Abilities: Cooks, sewing, drawing, outfit/costume making, makeup (really good at eyeliner), fast runner, can lift heavy things

Story: Ivan was a small boy from a very poor family in Croatia and during one trip to England when he was 6 he was abandoned by his parents at a park in London where he was then found and taken in by police who sent him to an orphanage. The orphanage staff and kids weren't too nice ti him, often picking on him and the staff putting him on timeout whenever they think he did something bad even if it's proven he didn't, he dealt with some rude people not adopting him by his appearance and the fact he struggled with English and had a stutter.

Then, he met Estella Smith, a well known fashion designer and animal activist who was visiting her home town on tour and happened to see Ivan sitting alone. The next day she came back and adopted him saying he has inspired her with his rare and unique beauty. By then he was in that orphanage from 6 to 9 years of age.

She then took him back to her home in America and helped taught him English with her childhood best friends and later on Ivan's uncle figures' help, fed him, bathe him, and treated him well. Though he still suffered with the trauma of being abandoned and abused at such a young age he needed to see a psychiatrist from the age of 10 which Estella paid for and he was diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD which made him feel terrible and began to draw out his feelings. Estella found a piece of art and after getting permission to borrow it she made Ivan a special suit based and inspired by his art.

After that he began to learn the world of fashion and art with Estella's help and began to help work in her shop and even began to learn how to make clothes and costumes himself. During this time he met Jac and the two have never once separated from each other's sides though their guardians can feel the chaos oozing from their hangouts or when they lock eyes across the room. Currently he's in school studying to help Estella's fashion business more and work part-time at a cafe near campus

Name Meanings: Ivan - Slavic for "God is gracious" Smith - Old English for "to hit" or "to strike"

[glyphcxre]

I told you I was on my canon divergent nonsense again

INTRODUCING: Asra

BASICS

Full Name:  Luz Noceda

Alias:  ‘ Asra ’

Nicknames:  ^^^

Sex / Gender:  Nonbinary  (They/Them preferred. Is ok with she/her)

Right or Left:    Leftie

Age:  17

Height:  5′7

Eye Color:  Previously, chesnut brown. One of their eyes is now permanently silver.

Hair Color:    Dark brown.

Distinguishing Marks:    Has many scars. Most notable of which are across the eyes. Posessed by the Trickster God Eshu in the past, they now bear scars to match the defining marks on his mask.

Paragraph Of Physical Traits:    Asra stands at 5′7, and is rather fit from what she was prior. They have been through a lot and have had to get a lot stronger physically as well as in magic. Their hair is often worn swept to the side, and has grown a little longer than canon Luz’s. She does keep it trimmed down though underneath and on the side. They have a permanently silver left eye, and bear the mark of the trickster across their face. They also have many scars on their arms and back from fights.

FAMILY / RELIGION

Parents / Guardians:  Camillia Noceda (Status, unknown).

Siblings:      N/A

Marital Status:    N/A

Significant Other(s):    Nyx. Her timeline’s Amity. While dating in title, they don’t see each other as much as they wish to.

Children:  N/A

Other Relatives:   N/A

Pets:    Serphent Palisman named Elio (Sun), had a familiar previously but it perished.

Friends:    Nyx, Willow, Gus, Eda, King Hunter (Deceased), Edric, Emira(deceased) . (Previously) Un-named Luz squad. They are looking for new friends and allies right now.

Enemies:  Belos (Deceased), Eshu Heyoka, Un-named Luz.

Ethnicity:   Afro-Latine, Dominican

Religion:    n/a. Has religious trauma, isn’t a fan.

Beliefs:  Whatever their morality leads them to believe.

Superstitions:    Probably a few, mostly to do with mimics, Eshu, etc. They’re kinda paranoid now.

Languages:  Spanish, English, French.

Diction / Accent:    They have a calm and reserved way of speaking, but when comfortable can be upbeat and bouncy.

SCHOOL / WORK / HOME

Education:  Hexside up to 12th grade---never graduated.

Degree(s):  N/A

Occupation:    “The Night Traveler”. They currently travel the multiverse, researching what they can, saving who they can, and trying to prevent the great dying, Eshu’s plan to unravel the multiverse.

Own or Rent:  They rent, hotel rooms, bed and breakfasts, apartments from time to time. Sometimes in a rut they have taught themselves to build shelters.

Living Space:  Wherever they can find.

Work Space:   If they’re lucky the place they stay will have a desk. 

Main Mode of Transport:    Staff, teleportation, walking. Sometimes they will borrow horses, or other transport animals.

PSYCHOLOGY

Fears:      Eshu, Losing more people, dark water, severely claustrophobic. 

Secrets:        They feel like a danger to be around, and feel disgusted that they’ve been branded with the mark of Hoyoka. They don’t like looking at themselves in mirrors because of it and will cover the scars with makeup.

IQ:    Very intelligent.

Eating Habits:  Ok. They eat what they can get. They learned not to be picky pretty quickly.

Food Preferences:      If they had a preference, they really like sweet and sour type food, mostly meats. and pastas.

Sleeping Habits:      Extremely poor and erratic. they have night terrors a lot, and sometimes wake up short of breath.

Music Preferences: Calming music. They don’t get to listen to music often. Other types of music they’re okay with too, but again--can’t listen much.

Leader or Follower:    Leader. 

Planner or Spontaneous:  They were spontaneous, and at their core nature maybe they are. But they’ve gotten into the habit of planning, unpredictability frightens them, thanks to Eshu.

Journal:  Yes.

Hobbies:    Writing, Poetry, Piano. They also really love animals and like to take care of them. Magic is a hobby for them too. they love it.

How Do They Relax:    Usually tea, and music. Sometimes they like to star gaze, until it makes them uncomfortable.

What Excites Them:    Learning new things, light magic, seeing plants thriving somewhere. Food, new experiences.

What Stresses Them:    The dark (ironically), loud wind, percussion sounds, unidentified shadows, Dead silence, the moon. 

Pet Peeves:    They don’t like being compared to other people, and they don’t like having their mistakes brought up. They harbor a lot of guilt from their past.

Prejudices:   They try not to have prejudice, even if they fear something. But they can’t help but feel uncomfortable around mimics. Even if they know its their nature to be the way they are. They hate Eshu with a burning passion. 

Attitudes:    When comfortable, they can be rather snarky and playful, if you dont’ know them are they are unsure about you they can come off as closed off and aloof.

Obsessions:    Finding Eshu and putting the universe back in balance. Not feeling alone.

Addictions:    They have a weird penchant for collecting sheet music..and sometimes they’ll keep it to learn it, or sometimes they’ll use it for crafts, pieces in poetry, letters, etc.

Ambitions:    To have a somewhat normal life, for their timeline to be put back together.

ASTROLOGY / PHISIOLOGY

Birth Date:  December 30th 2004

Sign:  Capricorn

Traits Associated with Western Sign:    Ambitious, hardworking, entusiastic.

Chinese Zodiac Sign:    monkey

Traits Associated with Chinese Sign:    Intelligent, lively, active

Handwriting: Very neat, they have really good penmanship.

Sexual History:  n/a

General Health:      All over the place. They probably get stress/anxiety illness more than anything.     

Mental Disabilities:      PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, RSD , ADHD the list goes on.

Allergies:    Lactose intolerant, but does not seem to care enough to stop.

OBJECTS KEPT IN

Purse / Bag:  Important documents they found, their phone, several money pouches with different currencies, pens, a few stress toys, a mp3 that still works, hair product.

Wallet:      Not a lot, some money when they need it.

Fridge:  n/a

Medicine Cabinet:    n/a

Glove Compartment:    n/a

Junk Drawer:      n/a

Backpack:  Clothes, their staff, wallet, Glyphs etc.

Desk:  n/a

Clothes Pockets: Sometimes gum or candy, or potions they need. Glyphs.

OTHER

Halloween Costumes: They dont’ really do halloween anymore. They like halloween though.

Talents: Good at Poetry, Calligraphy, and music. Way more versed in Lunar magic than most Luzes. Despite this they still love light magic, and miss being able to do that.

Politics:    Fuck belos. Fuck Eshu.

Flaws:      Aloof, Stubborn at times, stuck in their own head a lot, Nervous, Paranoid, Shy.

Strengths:  Loving, Loyal, very excitable when comfortable, fast learner, affectionate and outgoing when they feel confident enough to do so. Also despite their hesitance, when they are comfy around someone they have a good sense of humor, and will often initiate jokes.

Drugs / Alcohol:  n/a.

Passwords:  Only has one for their phone, its their anniversary with nyx.

Prized Possessions:  A good luck light charm their Amity gave them its supposed to ward off evil spirits and protect. 

Time and Place:    1:30 am in the timeline they are in, they are currently lurking amongst a certain chat with other luz’s. Wanting to be involved but not knowing what to say. They can’t sleep, the wind and rain are too loud, the trees are casting funky shadows. They are alone and uncomfortable.

Special Places:    The owl house will always be a special place for them, they miss being able to go there for comfort.

Special Memories:    Their first date with Nyx, it was ironically a dance for the lunar harvest, and they got to dress super fancy. Asra thinks fondly of how happy they were and how excited she was to be able to start a new life in the Isles. It was only a year and a half ago. wild.

Tagged by:  I stole.

Tagging:  o - o

[builder051]

Chasing ghosts 'verse prompt if it suits you - Tasha and the boys come into possession of a box of holiday foods via the well meaning caseworker tasked with keeping track of her. Chaos ensues.

Tasha brings the box home Wednesday night. She’d borrowed Steve’s car, without asking, but also without crashing it, and picked up her own mail and packages from the common dorm where she’s actually meant to be living.

She drops it on the kitchen table, where it makes a tremendous clomping noise.

Both James and Steve turn and come her way. “Did you do that on purpose…?” Steve asks.

“No…” Tasha says. “Um. Yeah?”

James rolls his eyes and starts peeling away the plastic wrap to see what the agency’s delivered his little sister this time. Hopefully not a seasonal stuffed animal. Of the conventional choices for Thanksgiving… James doesn’t want to think about it, or the discussions it might start.

“What is it, anyway?” Steve asks, now that the shapes of boxes and cans are visible within the cardboard base.

“Eh. Foodstuffs,” James says shortly.

“Forced family mealtime togetherness trauma…” Tasha adds.

The load contains all the main ingredients for mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, mac and cheese and more, as they can be whipped into being from shelf-stable packages. There’s even a voucher for a frozen turkey.

“Wow,” Steve says, making a face that seems both impressed and concerned. He looks to James for clarification. “This is, like, an annual thing?

“Yeah,” James sighs. “For kids who have outgrown the system but are still in, they give you a boost, but don’t do it for you. Thus…” He spreads his arms. “A family’s worth of cheap groceries for one person to supposedly prep and enjoy.”

“Wow,” Steve says again.

“It’s fucking stupid.” Tasha picks at the corner of the plastic bag of mini marshmallows. They’re not even name brand. “What’re we gonna do with it?” She looks at Steve, but he’s looking at James, so she looks to James as well.

James bites his lip. Steve’s from a family that wouldn’t eat food this shitty. They’d donate it or something, which, come to think of it, might be how it came to turn up on Tasha’s doorstep. Tasha doesn’t eat, at least not in front of anybody, so he hasn’t a clue what her preferences are these days. As for himself, the army did him a solid and also bit him in the ass when they gave him standard MREs for every meal from basic through discharge. He’ll put anything in his mouth. But fake cheese poorly mixed with gluey pasta will, without a doubt, make him puke before the mess gets to his stomach.

“Keep it in the pantry, I guess?” James says, feeling uncomfortable with his sudden position of authority. “I mean, we don’t have milk and butter and, like…” He squints at a note card taped to the can of pumpkin purée, “Cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, star anise, and… I don’t even know what that says.” He pushes the paper, the can, and the prepared pie crust at Steve, then takes up the stuffing mix, which is thankfully ‘just add water.’

Tasha squashes a mini marshmallow, then places it on her tongue like a tab of LSD. “So we’re just hoarding it, then?”

“Yeah, I guess.” James shrugs. “There aren’t any plans tomorrow, except for him,” he jerks his thumb at Steve, “ making those orange juice champagne things while we watch the parade.”

“And the dog show,” Steve adds.

“There’s a dog show?” Tasha looks dumbfounded.

“Apparently,” James confirms. “And if you get hungry, we’ll make, you know, something that doesn’t require groceries that we don’t have.”

“I’m not eating any of it,” Tasha declares as she places another marshmallow on her tongue.

“Well, seeing as you don’t have a tube or a drip, you’re not required to,” James says. Then he says “Yet,” at the same time as she says “Anymore.” Steve looks at them booth suspiciously.

“Ok, this subject is dead.” James clumsily throws the plastic wrap back over the box, then heads into the living room. “And I’m putting up rules.”

Tasha turns her head sideways, marshmallow foam forming a dab on her upper lip.

“No partying— or getting stoned— until Friday night at least. And no shopping.” James nods. “Do I need to put them on the wall?”

“No,” Steve says immediately, though he had been the reason the ‘put the seat down’ sign had appeared, of all places, on the window above the kitchen sink.

Tasha gives James a long, hard, look. “Fine.”

“Hang out with us,” James says with a smile. “You don’t have to dress up. But do wear clothes, though.”

“You’re sick.”

“I’m not the one eating pure sugar on an empty stomach,” James points out.

Tasha takes the bag of marshmallows on to her room, giving her brother the finger, then a side hug as she passes by.

“That’s…”. Steve shakes his head, still confused.

“Take her as she comes. Family, I guess. Our holiday shebang looks a little different than most?”

“I like it, though. Less stress, when you get down to it. And you didn’t outlaw getting drunk. You do realize that, don’t you?”

James nods. Then shakes his head. Shrugs. “Tash is too young to drink. Besides, I want us to just be people, for once. Not, like, in chaos.”

“Given our record, I don’t know how likely that is to happen,” Steve says warningly. But then he grins. “But I’m down to try.”

“Try. Fail. Whatever.” James hangs on Steve’s arm. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. And her. And us. It’s a good mix.”

“Good,” James agrees. “Good indeed.”

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Ok but what if Chris is with Jake at like,, a store or in public or something and they run into Joanne and Chris just,,,, doesn’t recognize her. At all. And then it kinda clicks —(that she’s a terrible person)— that something is wrong

CW: PTSD/flashback response, trauma recovery, negative stimming including head banging

Tagging: @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @endless-whump, @whumpfigure, @stxckfxck, @slaintetowhump, @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout, @doveotions

Icing-coated animal crackers. That iced coffee that comes in the big bottle with the red label - not the green one, it has to be the red one. It’s a good color of red and the iced coffee inside is sweet, just a little. They’re buy-one-get-one in the store and Jake throws six of them in the cart, why the fuck not. Those little cups of macaroni-and-cheese with the neon-colored orange sauce that comes out of a packet. Whole boxes of ramen packets, beef and something called ‘chili lime shrimp’. 

Milk, apple juice, coffee creamer (cinnamon sugar and egg nog, Jake never misses a chance for eggnog creamer when it shows up in November). Three whole frozen turkeys, they’re down to rock-bottom prices leading up to Thanksgiving and he can keep them frozen to use whenever they need a week’s worth of meat at once. Stuff for taco night, for pizza night, beer, bell peppers and cilantro, some anchovies for some kind of pasta thing Antoni insists on doing, sliced black olives... the list goes on and on and on.

Jake never minds. Grocery shopping is kind of... meditative, really. Chris bops alongside him, darting ahead to grab something he spotted and toss it in the cart, lingering back behind Jake to look at the label on a bottle of sparkling water, eyes carefully unfocused so he won’t try to read it, just enjoying the little painted image of grapes. 

The grocery store’s way out of the way for them, but Jake borrowed Nat’s truck today so he could take Chris to see a museum exhibit on the Spanish flu and its effect on lower-class and first-generation immigrant populations, a little bit of credit for one of his public health classes. Chris loved the museum the way that little kids love museums, all wide-eyed wonder and getting lost in exhibits until Jake had to all but drag him to the next one. 

They’d stayed in the museum for four hours - seen things, had lunch, gone back to see more - and Jake really, really needs to get the groceries before he comes home. Hence, kind of a hoity-toity grocery store outside their usual neighborhoods. The kind of place where they might actually raise an eyebrow at him if they knew why he bought three frozen turkeys, that it will save them next month when money’s at its tightest. 

Jake knows how to buy for poverty, and he doesn’t actually have to do that anymore, but the habit’s still there.

Chris has been such a constant blur of motion that Jake nearly runs into him with the almost-totally-full cart before he realizes that Chris is standing perfectly still staring over at the wine area.

It’s one of those stores, too - the wine is all shelved in custom-made stained wood to make it look like a small fancy wine store all its own, with a table where a man in a green apron is giving out samples of wine from a valley in Italy Jake doesn’t care about. There’s a woman sipping one of the samples and it’s her that Chris is staring at.

She has short dark brown hair cut into a stylish bob and she’s wearing a sweater that probably cost as much as one of Jake’s student loan payments, nice dark slacks. Looks like she’s come straight from work or something. There’s nothing special about her whatsoever, from Jake’s perspective.

“Chris?”

Chris jumps, spinning around, blinking at Jake. There’s a look around his eyes, like a panicking animal feeling a trap close around it, that makes Jake tense up immediately too. “Um, what?”

“... you okay, man? You look... spooked. Do you know her?”

Chris blinks and looks back at the woman. She chooses a bottle out of a little fake basket several are nestled into with cheese and fruit like it’s a fucking picnic at the fucking grocery store. As if she can feel the eyes on her, she looks up - and meets Chris’s gaze.

There’s a pause, where Jake could absolutely swear the woman knows who Chris is - and then she looks away with a blank expression like she hasn’t seen anything. It’s weirdly fake, though. Put on, like a trick. She turns and walks quickly in the other direction, shoulders slightly hunched. Jake stares after her as she sets the wine bottle down on a shelf and hurries right out the door.

“What the... fuck?”

“I think...” Chris winces, puts a hand up to his head, grinds his teeth against the headache Jake can see, the thunderclap of pain he gets as his reward for trying to locate a memory. “I th-think she, she, she... she she... worked... there...”

Jake’s knuckles go white on the shopping cart handle as he watches the dark-haired bob disappear out into the parking lot. The woman is nearly running. “The, um. The...”

“F-Facility.” Chris’s face is pale, unsettled. He hunches into himself and Jake feels the tension around him as Chris starts to fiddle with a bracelet he wears on his left wrist all the time now, pulling the nylon rope it’s made of, twisting the little metal bits in it, rubbing it in circles around his wrist. At the same time, he starts to rock, back and forth, just a little on his feet. “I think she-she worked there, I was... I was... tired...”

Jake looks slowly down at the cart full of food, closes his eyes. Shit. They’ve been in this store forever getting everything they’ll need for weeks. They’re not going to find such big turkeys at such a good price at the dinky stores closer to home. It’s all going to be such a mess and a waste and...

Chris’s face is pinched and pale, his eyes squinting through the pain that must be rocketing around inside his head. Jake takes a deep breath, lets it out. “She, she, she-she-she... I know-... I was really-... really tired, something... tired and, and, and... and... and and there were handlers and I kept asking-...”

Jake grabs the first person in a green apron with a nametag he sees and apologizes for the food waste, gives them back the cart, and takes Chris by an arm around his shoulders to help lead him out the door. Chris’s eyes are nearly screwed shut completely at the agony, fighting through it. He can’t see to walk and Jake has to hold him tightly, aware that they look more like some creepy dick and his teenage boyfriend than what they actually are. 

Makes him wonder what the lady who apparently works at WRU thought when she saw Chris with Jake.

By the time Jake gets him to the truck Chris is shaking all over, and Jake just stands with his back against the hot metal frame and pulls Chris to him, holding him while Chris rocks hard in his arms, twists fingers into his shirt, taps against him, makes strange low moaning sounds that seem nearly inhuman and also incredibly full of very human grief.

Jake gets him into the truck and waits, holding him, while he clings and cries and shakes and rocks and hits himself and rages against memories he isn’t allowed to have any longer.

Memories he cannot give words to. Thoughts he isn’t allowed to have. He can’t verbalize any of them, only sob. Jake doesn’t try to force him, just puts a hand behind his head to direct it into the crook of his neck, let Chris bury himself in darkness to protect against the way, in moments like this, he fears the light.

By the time Jake gets him calmed down, he can’t remember why he recognized the woman anymore. Can’t even describe her to Jake, only two hours after he’d seen her. He can’t remember anything about the grocery trip past the bread aisle, it’s been pushed under the surface where all the painful things go.

At some point, while they’re on the highway, Chris admits he can’t remember the grocery store at all now.

Jake gets Chris home and settled and goes out to get the groceries all over again from one of the local spots, and he can’t stop wondering if that woman shops at the fancy store regularly.

He can’t stop wondering if, having seen Chris there exactly once and with that look on her face when she did, she’ll avoid it from here on out just to ensure she never sees Chris again.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

[chokememrstark]

Make Me Bad (Part 5) - Winterironspider

Words: ~ 1,7k

Summary: Tony knew the nature of Spider's and Winter's relationship, but actually witnessing it second hand gets to him in various ways. When Spider suddenly starts making advances to him too, however, he's more terrified than excited at first.

Warnings: criminal!peter, criminal!bucky (winter), psychiatrist!tony,   manipulation, partners in crime, dark past, underage, murder, violence, winterspider, starker

Note: Sorry this one took so long! I hope you enjoy some more for this!

[read on AO3]

After finding out a bit more about both Spider and Winter, Tony kind of begins to understand why the two stick together the way they do and why Spider was willing to risk getting caught to make sure Winter wasn’t left behind when Tony freed him. He doesn’t fully understand it, probably because imagining a brainwashed assassin in his 30s and a 12 year old being on the run together seems to cause his brain to malfunction, but it’s clear that they are not just acting. Whether or not Winter brainwashed the kid after meeting him Tony can’t say, but it surely doesn’t look like it from what he can tell.

During the next day, Tony helps Spider tidy up the place, which collected quite a bit of dust after over a month of being abandoned, and they even free part of the wardrobe for Tony, who doesn’t really have any clothes at the moment and has to borrow ones from Winter, but he’s glad about the space he gets. They will get him some clothes to change soon, but it’s not urgent, as both Tony and Winter wear similar sizes and even though Winter’s clothes are a bit too big at times, they fit and are enough for the time being.

The second night, Spider doesn’t even seem to expect Tony to come to bed with them. He simply wishes him goodnight and climbs up the ladder, making the other actually believe he can sleep peacefully. As it turns out though, Spider is in a much better mood that night and it doesn’t take long before Tony hears very obvious and explicit noises coming from the bed. He gulps and pulls the blanket over his head, but there’s no way to muffle the noise completely.

Tony just lays there eventually, listening to Spider’s moans that are slightly muffled through a pillow or blanket, but still perfectly audible. It’s weird and it’s making him feel very awkward because he knows they are aware of the fact he can hear them, but obviously don’t seem to mind. What’s worse, though, is the fact that the sounds the boy makes are in no way appalling. In fact, Tony notices quickly that just listening to them makes him hard and he doesn’t like it at all.

When there is finally silence again, Tony sighs in relief and forces himself to think of car crashes and dead puppies to kill his erection before turning around and trying once more to sleep. This time, he succeeds, but those gorgeous and pretty moans Spider made follow him into his dreams and it’s as much torture as it’s a delight.

There is a certain tension in the air the following morning and it’s pretty clear both Spider and Winter know exactly that Tony heard them the night before, but neither of them addresses it. Tony offers taking care of the dishes after breakfast just to have something to do and when he finally comes back to the living room, he finds Spider laying across Winter’s lap, book in hands and the man’s fingers entangled in the boy’s hair.

Tony decides to take a shower to have some time for himself, which takes around half an hour, but when he comes back and sees the other two in the same position he frowns. There’s something rising in his chest that he quickly identifies as jealousy, even though he has no right to even feel this way. It’s very disturbing and Tony doesn’t like it.

“Is there anything to do?” he finally asks, simply because just sitting around was never something he enjoyed doing. Winter turns his head and looks at him, while Spider doesn’t even pulls his attention away from his book.

“We need some firewood,” Winter says and shrugs, eyes piercing through Tony as if to challenge him to go occupy himself with that. “Axe is in the shed.”

Knowing that he had the choice between chopping wood and watching Winter and Spider this close, Tony nods and decides to go with the wood. It will hopefully take his mind away from the other two for a bit.

It’s almost an hour later and Tony already piled up quite an impressive amount of wood - at least for his terms - when Spider suddenly walks over to him, seemingly happy and cheerful.

“You wanna take a break?” he asks with the sweetest voice and smiles at him. “I could need a hand cutting stuff for dinner.”

Tony nods and puts the axe back into the shed, washing his hands before joining Spider in the kitchen. Since he can’t spot Winter anywhere, he asks about him and Spider smirks.

“He wants to get a new laptop,” the boy tells him as he shoves over a chopping board, a knife and onions. “He doesn’t like silence, says it makes memories come back and such.”

“Yeah, I heard about that,” Tony says, but doesn’t go into detail. It’s a common thing present in people with PTSD and similar mental illnesses and traumas, so he’s not surprised.

“He’ll be back later, but I figured we still need to eat, right?” Spider smiles as he works on chopping pepper bells himself for what is going to turn out to be the side dish to rice and chicken. “You want some wine to go with it?”

Tony thinks about the offer for a moment before nodding. A glass of wine won’t hurt after all, right? Spider seems to be happy about the response and goes through the cupboard for rice while Tony finishes up the onions.

When the food is done, both of them decide to sit on the couch to eat, simply for comfort, and Tony quite enjoys how it turned out and how well the wine matches with the flavors.

“You’re pretty good with this,” he says, giving Spider a smile. “Did you learn that yourself or did Winter teach you?”

Spider swallows down his bite and chuckles into his hand. “He taught me some things, but most of what I know I learned from books and videos,” he admits cheekily. “It got boring eating only the same things after a while, you know?”

“I guess that gets pretty annoying, yeah,” Tony grins and takes another sip from his wine. “If you want to, I can show you how to do some pasta dishes my mom taught me. She loved cooking a lot.”

“Really?” Spider asks, his eyes sparkling at him. “That would be awesome! Can we make it a surprise though? I want to make sure Winter won’t suspect anything.”

Tony laughs and nods with a grin. “Nothing easier than that,” he says with a wink. “I can also show you how to make homemade ice cream. It’s really easy actually.”

“I love ice cream!” Spider laughs happily and puts down his plate before hugging Tony tight. “You’re awesome!”

Tony takes the compliment without questioning it as it’s really lifting his mood and once they are done they clean the dishes together, making the whole ordeal last no more than ten minutes. After that, though, there’s not much else to do.

“Come, I’ll show you the area!” Spider eventually suggests, grabbing one of Tony’s hands and pulling him up. Tony can’t really fight against the boy’s eager and follows him outside, which leads to a walk through the surrounding forest that lasts for over an hour. Spider seems so happy to show him everything, including the lake he loves swimming in whenever he can and the clearing where a family of rabbits lives. They don’t see them that day, but Tony doesn’t mind. It’s still nice and they have a good time before returning to the cabin.

In the evening, Winter does come back and actually has a new laptop that he asks Spider to set up - Tony figures he can’t do it himself and he’s not wrong with that. While Winter takes a shower, Spider and and Tony set the laptop up, Tony not even asking how they have such a strong internet connection out here before he makes sure Netflix will run smoothly on it.

They watch a movie together that evening before going to bed, some horror movie Tony doesn’t like much, but it’s better than complete silence, he figures. It’s a bit of a template for how things are going from then on, something Tony gets used to rather quickly. They will have dinner, then watch a movie or a few episodes of a show Peter wants to see and then go to bed. Nothing special, nothing dramatic.

That is until Tony notices a change in Spider’s behavior, something that only shows when they are alone at first, but quickly happens all the time and with Winter being there, it really starts making Tony extremely uncomfortable.

From the first day already, Tony knew better than to try and get between Spider and Winter. It’s never been a problem, not until Spider suddenly begins actively seeking his company in a much closer way than Tony is used to. The boy will lean against him whenever he can, brush his hands over his arms, hook his foot in with his legs under the table - all things that look innocent at first glance but that clearly aren’t.

Tony tries to stay rational and not give into those attempts, but the more he ignores what Spider does, the more determined the boy seems to become. It’s not uncomfortable at all when they are alone and Tony finds himself allowing the boy more and more freedoms during those times, but when Winter is there, things are completely different and Tony does his best to gently deny Spider’s advances in any way possible, which unfortunately only fuels the boy to try even harder.

There is only so much Tony can take and only so long he can ignore Spider’s attempts at getting to him. Eventually, he gives in partially, at least when they are alone, and Spider is so excited, he immediately crawls into Tony’s lap and starts kissing him.

Despite his fear of Winter’s rage, Tony simply can’t resist the boy forever. He knows he shouldn’t do this, but it feels too good not to and as long as they only do it when they are alone, things should be fine. Or at least he hopes so.

[icerats]

Warnings: Just Ian's paranoia lol

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

100 G/T Prompts Master List

Borrowers, Trauma, & Pasta: Chapter 5

(20. Open)

Ian was out in the open. Blaze was hidden in a cupboard, and he was stranded on the countertop. Biting his lip, his eyes quickly scanned for potential places to hide. Blaze may have said they were sure the human wasn't coming back for a while, but he wasn't sure he trusted a word that came out of their mouth. It also didn't help that when he was last.. seen.. the human came home early. He didn't think his heart could handle another experience like that.However, Ian's present company wasn't helping his nerves. That disgusting termite was still staring at him.

Repressing a shutter, he averted his gaze. Instead he turned it to the nearby microwave, and moved closer, preparing to duck behind it if the human came back. Much to Ian's relief, 'Bestie' didn't seem particularly motivated to follow him, instead choosing to crawl closer to the cupboard Blaze resided in. Watching 'Bestie' crawling up the wall and in to the entrance of the cupboard, Ian noticed that the termite did seem to have a preference to follow Blaze around. Not that Ian was bothered by that, far from it. But he did find it strange.

Ian didn't know anything about termites, besides that they ate wood, were disgusting, and the fact that they were down right creepy. But based on his knowledge of other insects, they didn't act anything like that termite did. Ian didn't know what would be freaking him out more, a termite acting normally, aggressive and territorial, or a termite who wasn't that. A termite who acted the way 'Bestie' did, calm but entirely unpredictable. 

Suddenly Blaze appeared, foot still hanging down from the string, their face only centimeters away from his.

"Jesus, fuck!" Ian cursed, his voice audibly higher than normal. 

"Hiya! I got the food you requested!" They cried out cheerfully, holding an entire granola bar. "Sorry Bestie left by the way, I guess she is just attached."

"That's perfectly alright," Ian assured, finally managing to keep his voice steady, "Where is umm, Bestie now? Is it still in the cupboard?"

"Of course not silly!" They said cheerfully, that far too wide smile never leaving their face. "I've told you, she's attached. Literally and figuratively! She's chilling on my back right now!"

Ian took several steps back… coincidently of course. "Oh I see."

Blaze continued to lightly sway from the string, upside-down. "Oh! Are you sad? I can see if you can give her a back ride too if you want!"

Ian shook his head rapidly. "No! No! That's fine! You can keep it on you!" Desperately wanting to change the subject, he glanced at the granola bar Blaze was holding in their arms. "Hey, uh Blaze? Are you sure the human here won't notice you taking that much food?"

"Huh? Oh! The granola bar! Nah trust me! This human won't be suspicious of anything! She's so forgetfull that anything she notices missing, she just assumes she ate herself."

That sounded a little too easy. No way could a human actually be that stupid. Humans are dangerous, not just because of their size but also their intelligence. Something like that, simply isn't likely.

"Are you sure she isn't pretending?" Ian asked, "Secretly taking notes of what times you borrow and then planning to catch you when you're out in the open?"

Blaze bursted out into hysterical laughter. Dropping the granola bar, they used their now free hands to wipe away the tears of laughter that continued to fall from their face.

Ian glared. He didn't see what was so funny. They could be in serious danger here!

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" They paused, "Oh wait, you're serious."

"Of course I'm serious!" Ian snapped. "Humans are nothing to joke about! They're dangerous! I don't know how you've survived this long acting like they aren't!"

Blaze's eyes widened, before they broke into another fit of hysterical laughter. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" They cried, gasping for air. "It's just that your like so serious! All the time! About everything! And you're so paranoid too! I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but this human really is just a sleep deprived idiot addicted to energy drinks. Nothing more. I've been living here for 2 years and she has yet to unveil her master plan of catching me."

Ian's face flushed. "Stop laughing at me! As a borrower, you're supposed to rather be safe than sorry! There is no guarantee that the human won't come back early so we should go back to the walls, NOW!"

Blaze snorted. "I've told you, she isn't coming back early. If she hasn't in the past 2 years I've lived here, I doubt she will today!"

As if on cue, the doorknob rattled, and the faint jingling of keys could be heard behind the door. On instinct, Ian rushed forward. Pulling Blaze towards him, cringing as he felt the termite attached to their back. The hook unlodged itself from the cupboard, missing Ian's face by a centimeter when it fell. Ian cursed, but continued to drag Blaze to the small space behind the microwave, ignoring them when they almost tripped over the string still tied around their ankle. 

Ian gasped for breath as they both finally reached the microwave, ducking behind it just as he heard the door unlock. Ian shot a venomous glare at Blaze, who's signature smile was now no longer present on their face. 

"So.." Ian hissed, "Am I too paranoid for you now, Blaze?"

[icerats]

Shsjdhjshsis definitely might write a one-shot of this after I updated Borrowers, Trauma, & Pasta

Ok but hear me out...

A shape shifter that shifts into a borrower and willingly lets themselves be "discovered" to test if the human is a good person or not.

And like they have been doing it for years and somehow have NEVER run into a borrower or another shifter before. You could have a LOT of fun with this. The shifter is at a friends, their house, a testies house, (idc) shifts to do whatever business they have, they run into an actual borrower!

The borrower is like SUPER HAPPY bc you know , not much interaction there, but the shifter kind of freaks out! (Or sum again i havent really invested much into this story plot) OH! and like while the shifter is FREAKING OUT the human of the house comes close and the OG borrower has to like save them or get them to calm down!!!

And being the HOPELESS ROMANTIC I AM!!! THEY COULD FALL IN LOVE!!! And like the shifter has to ofc keep their shifter secret safe and stays small to stay BY THE ONE THEY LOVE!!!!! But oh no! The shifter can only stay small for so long until they need to shift back and like stretch their muscles.

[viollettes]

“Carnations” (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

many thanks to the phenomenal @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! you witty, pliable, sun goddess with beautiful curls - i adore you!

a/n: i loved reading all of your theories and comments! that said, i’m waaaaay too predictable ;) -j. x

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

Maybe your head is unable to function after the many hours of crying into your pillow or maybe your heart is burnt out from the tsunami of emotions. For some reason, all words and social etiquette have escaped you, and you’re left dumbly staring at the blonde standing in front of you.

“Hey, (Y/N). Uh, we’ve never met in person, but my name is Sharon Carter.”

Ah – this is blonde girl who asked if you were okay right before you sprinted out of the Student Gov office. Your manners snap back into place and you hold out a hand. “Sorry I’m a little out of right now. You’re on Student Gov, right?”

“Yes. I’m the VP of External Affairs. I work closely with Steve.”

Steve’s betrayal is still very raw, your lungs feel like they’re going to collapse at the sound of his name. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m not really in the mood to socialize,” you say, your voice low and strangled.

“Wait!” Sharon draws in a breath before letting it rush out. “Dot was lying about the carnations. Steve wasn’t playing a cruel joke, because he never sent the flowers to you.”

The last thing you need is another soul-draining bombshell, yet here’s this random, albeit very beautiful, stranger providing you with yet another one. At this point, there’s only one thing running through your mind, and if you don’t comply with it, you feel like you’re going to combust into confetti.

“I can leave if you want –”

Eyes closed, you interrupt, “Sharon? Are you super busy for the next hour?”

The blonde knits her eyebrows in confusion at the left-field question, but she shakes her head. “I’m finished with my assignments for the day,” she says.

“Great. Do you mind if we take this conversation elsewhere? I have something urgent to take care of. I promise it won’t take long.”

“One spaghetti aglio e oglio and one shrimp and scallop pesto linguini.”

You wave your fork in protest as the waiter places one of the plates in front of Sharon. “They’re both for me,” you reveal. Your stomach grumbles in agreement, and a genuine smile splits your lips for the first time in hours.

Crying into your pillow took precedence over dinner, but the hurricane of emotions that barreled your way didn’t curb your appetite. Also, there’s no way you’re going to listen to information that has the potential to carve out your heart without a hearty bowl of comforting pasta sitting in front of you.

Are you stress-eating? Yes.

Do you care? Abso-motherfucking-lutely not.

Much to Sharon’s credit, she didn’t question your sanity after you emerged from your room looking like a hot mess. She even let you borrow the baseball cap perched on her head after you mumbled a sigh about the bird’s nest that was your hair. She kindly offered to drive, saving both of you the fifteen minute walk. Sharon scored herself more major brownie points when she barely batted an eyelash after you ordered two large pasta dishes for yourself.

“And miss, would you like a refill on your tea? Are you sure you don’t want food for yourself?”

“I’m good on the food, but I’ll take a refill on the tea. Thank you so much.”

You wait until the waiter steps out of earshot to ask, “This is weird, right? A complete stranger just dragged you to a restaurant so you can watch her shovel food into her mouth.”

A small smile lines her lips. “It’s a little unexpected. And we may be strangers, but I’ve heard a lot about you from Steve.” The blonde hesitates as she notices the light in your eyes dim at the sound of Steve’s name. “Are you sure you want to hear this right now?”

“I might as well…” The slight distress on Sharon’s face makes your guard to go up, but you ignore it and ask, “So… Dot was lying about Steve? How do you know that?”

“I was in the annex when you came into the office, and Dot forgot that you can hear everything from the back room. I know she used my password to get you the information you wanted,” Sharon reveals. She grimaces like there’s a bitter taste in her mouth but continues, “The person who sent you the flowers wrote a question mark as their name, but I know it wasn’t Steve.”

Twirling your fork into your noodles, you ask, “What proof do you have?” Your tone is a little hostile, but you don’t care.

“I’ve been with Steve for the entirety of the carnation sale. He only bought three flowers – a red one and two pink ones. The pink ones were joke flowers. I remember because he was snickering about Sam and Bucky’s potential reactions the entire time. I’m pretty sure he wrote a dirty joke or something.”

The stoic face you’re maintaining crumbles a bit as you imagine what kind of dirty joke Steve chose to send Bucky and Sam. You shove a forkful of pasta into your mouth to muffle the laughter, but the giggle successfully fights through.

Sharon takes your giggle as encouragement to continue. “After you left the office, I checked the computer. The spreadsheet confirmed Steve didn’t send those flowers and that Dot was lying.”

“But why would Dot lie to a complete stranger? I’ve never done anything to her.”

“Because Dot’s a bitch.” Sharon holds out her hands when your head shoots up in shock. “I know that’s not nice to say, but it’s the truth.”

“I don’t understand.”

Sharon sighs but continues, “(Y/N), there are some people who take satisfaction in watching others break down. You’d think as college students, we’ve graduated from the girl-destroy-girl mentality that’s shoved into our faces, but unfortunately Dot has yet to do so.”

“But she genuinely looked surprised and sorry for me.”

“Anyone can look genuinely surprised and sorry. All it requires is some acting skills. Also, Dot’s had it out for Steve ever since he beat her in the election. My guess is Dot saw an opportunity to not only satisfy her need for drama but also wreck some havoc in Steve’s life.”

So not only did you get wrapped up in a stupid fantasy, but you also spent the last few hours cursing out an innocent person and vowing to ice him out of your life. A knife twists into your heart, but it’s not one of anger or betrayal. This blade is one that stings of sharp guilt.

“(Y/N), you and I both know that Steve isn’t the type of person who’d prey on someone’s emotions through a prank. His idea of a prank is hiding pictures of Nicolas Cage in your room and things.”

“Oh my God, he did that to you too?”

“It took about two months before I eradicated all the Nic Cage photos in the Student Gov office.”

“Lucky you. It took me an entire semester before realizing he was using our study sessions as a guise to come into my room and hide more photos.”

Stifled snickers quickly change into loud giggles that diffuse the tense atmosphere lingering around the booth. A few minutes pass before Sharon cautiously speaks up. “So, how are you’re feeling?”

You set down your fork and bury your face in your hands. “To be honest, I’m not sure. I feel horrible about blindly assuming the worst about Steve, but I also feel so stupid and small,” you reveal.

Trusting the newfound camaraderie between you and the blonde, you take the next twenty minutes explaining everything, and you don’t leave out any details. The way Sharon intently listens without casting judgment compels you to dive deeper. You tell her about the high school flower sales that stamped trauma into your heart. You even break your cardinal rule and reveal your crush on Bucky and the turbulent ride it took you on.

It’s not long before you’ve talked off the weight of your shoulders. The sensation coursing through you is similar to the soda exploding out of a furiously shaken can. It surprises you how easy it is in confide in Sharon, and you even express, “I can’t believe I just told you all that.”

“Bottling things up until they explode will do that to you,” the blonde assures. “But if you don’t mind me picking at your brain, how does Bucky now fit into all of this?”

You let out a heavy sigh and push around the now-cold pasta. “Today’s events are making me realize my crush on Bucky has spiraled deeper than I intended it to. I always assumed it was puppy-love, but…” A groan escapes you as you angrily stab a noodle. “I can’t believe I banked on a fantasy that lacks any credible foundation.”

Though Sharon’s proven to be one who doesn’t judge, you can’t help but feel nervous as she remains silent. An eternity passes before she says, “Why don’t you tell Bucky about your feelings?”

Thinking that she’s joking, you clutch your stomach and burst into laughter. “Good one, Sharon. Yes, I’m totally going to confess my feelings to him and –” Your heart stops when you notice her straight face. “Oh my God, you’re being serious right now. Sharon, you know I can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“I can’t risk losing his friendship. Also, Bucky could have any girl he wants. Why would he be interested in me?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

Pink floods your cheeks as soon as those words leave Sharon’s lips. “No,” you staunchly disagree.

Sharon rolls her eyes as if there was no point in arguing because she was right. “Judging from what you told me, Bucky doesn’t seem to be the type to dump a friend over something like this. If he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, it’ll sting, but you’ll move on. If he does reciprocate them, you have a budding romance on your hands and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. Plus, you have yourself to thank for it, and that makes it all more worth it.”

Could it be that simple?

You’ve always assumed that a confession would end horribly. Whenever you played out possible scenarios in your head, they always ended in either Bucky laughing in your face or you bursting into tears.

Bucky could react positively. Bucky could say that he doesn’t share your sentiments. There was no way to know for sure unless you said something. Maybe hiding your feelings wasn’t the wisest thing to do. Maybe you needed to muster up confidence in yourself, put your heart on the line, and take a chance.

But before you make the next step, there’s something you need to ask.

“Sharon, why are you doing this? You don’t know me, there’s no moral obligation for you to help me out like this.”

The blonde shrugs and says, “Steve is my friend. I couldn’t let Dot drag his name in the mud like this. Also we girls need to watch out for each other. After all,” her lips quirk up in an amused smile, “real queens fix each other’s crowns.”

Your eyebrows shoot upwards. “Wow, that’s… oddly deep. Did you think of that yourself?”

“Nah, I read that somewhere on Pinterest.”

Giggles escape you as Sharon smirks and takes a sip of her tea. There was something very humanizing about the idea of the blonde beauty browsing Pinterest.

Sharon takes your small yet growing smile as a good sign. “Now, back to this ‘thing’ with Bucky… I say you let him know about your feelings, but I, of course, can’t force you to do anything.” She gives you a knowing look before continuing, “What do you want to do?”

Part 4

Tags are are officially closed.

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[quintinefowler-blog]

Nutrition and Supplements for Anxiety

We all have fears and worries but when they begin to dominate our life and our behavior, and become the focal point in which everything revolves, that's anxiety.

Many factors can contribute; trauma, chemical sensitivity, caffeine, heredity, drugs, alcohol, lifestyle choices.

If you cannot change the situation that is the focus of anxiety, try to determine a way of trying to change your way of handling the problem.

Relaxation of the mind and body and stress reduction are key.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is often vague and undirected, a sinking feeling that something terrible is about to happen. Unlike concrete fears (of illness or losing a job, for example), anxiety often stems from what used to be called borrowed trouble.

Anxious people imagine worst-case scenarios and spend lots of time dreading things that may never happen. For persistent anxiety, seek professional counseling. But natural remedies can help tremendously.

Anxiety disorders are possibly the most common and frequently occurring disorders of the mind/body. They include a group of conditions that share extreme anxiety as the principal disturbance of mood or emotional tone.

Anxiety, which may be understood as the pathological counterpart of normal fear, is manifest by disturbances of mood, as well as of thinking, behavior and physiological activity.

Included in this category are panic disorder (with or without a history of agoraphobia) , agoraphobia (with or without a history of panic disorder), generalized anxiety disorder, specific phobia, social phobia, obsessive-compulsiv e disorders, acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder .

Anxiety disorders are ubiquitous across human cultures. The longitudinal course of these disorders is characterized by relatively early ages of onset, chronicity, relapsing or recurrent illness and periods of disability.

Panic disorder and agoraphobia are particularly associated with suicidal tendencies.

Nutritional Considerations

Add protein and carbohydrates to your diet: Incorporate protein into your diet. Protein helps to keep sugar levels stable. You can find protein in nuts, yogurt, beans, fish, chicken, tofu and lentils. Consider eating low glycemic carbohydrates such as brown rice and yams.

Seek out foods that are high in Omega-3 (fish oil/flaxseed oil): This oil has been shown in many studies, to reduce LDL (bad) cholesterol levels and reduce plaque buildup in your blood.

By reducing your bad cholesterol, you are helping your body to fight off stress and relieve anxiety, tension and even prevent heart disease! Fish/Flaxseed that are high in Omega-3 are excellent ways to help your blood stream. They are two of the greatest hormone regulators, as well.

Folic Acid: Folic Acid (required for energy production) is considered brain food. The brain needs it to work properly. It helps to prevent anxiety and fatigue. Folic acid works best when combined with vitamin C, vitamin B6 and vitamin B12. Much research has indicated that a deficiency of folic acid may include depression, insomnia, anorexia, forgetfulness, hyperirritability, apathy, fatigue and anxiety.

You can find Folic Acid in the following foods: Whole grain breads -Fortified cereals -Dried peas- Dried beans -Leafy vegetables- Fruit. Most multivitamin complexes contain folic acid.

GABA: GABA (Gamma Aminobutyric Acid) is an amino acid help reduce anxiety, allows rational decision making, promotes restful sleep and enhances workout recovery. It has also been shown to have similar effects as the benzodiazepine drugs.

You will also feel more relaxed and notice that you are sleeping better. The recommended dose for GABA is 700-750 mg – 3 times daily – talk to a medical professional about using GABA.

Inosistol: has been shown in studies to have a positive effect in the calming of the symptoms of panic attacks and obsessive-compulsiv e disorder. Taking up to 4 grams daily – 3 times-a-day has shown to be beneficial.

Magnesium: The supplement magnesium has been found to aid in the management of anxiety symptoms. Taking 200-300 mg of magnesium 2 to 3 times daily has been shown to help.

Selenium: Selenium, an important antioxidant, is a trace mineral found in soil and food. It protects neurotransmitters. Deficiency in selenium has shown to have a negative impact on mood. It also helps to reduce bad cholesterol and keep the heart healthy.

You can get much of your selenium from dietary sources such as: Alfalfa, fennel seed, ginseng, butter, garlic, liver, Brazil nuts, shellfish and other fishes. You can find it in sunflower seeds, yarrow, wheat germ and Brewer's yeast.

Vitamin B1: Vitamin B1 is also known as “thiamine.” In many studies, B1 has shown to have positive effects on the nervous system and mental well being. Vitamin B1 is found in peas, soybeans, fortified breads, cereals, pasta, fish, pork, whole grains and dried beans.

Prolonged intake of large amounts of alcohol depletes your body's supply of vitamin B1. Vitamin B3: (in the form niacinamide) has been tested in lab animals and seems to work in animals in the way that benzodiazepines such as Valium® have. *

Vitamin B6: Lack of Vitamin B6 has been known to cause anxiety and depression. The formation of certain brain chemicals from amino acids requires this vitamin. It affects the nervous system.

The recommended Dietary Allowances for adults (25+ years) is 2.0 for men and 1.6 for women. The best sources of vitamin B6 are meats (particularly organ meats such as liver), whole grains and wheat germ.

Vitamin B12: Vitamin B12 is needed for energy, brain function and a healthy nervous system. It helps to combat depression, stabilize PMS and helps to protect against anemia and it may help fight cancer. The best food sources of Vitamin B12 are liver, kidney, oily fish, beef, pork lamb, cheese, eggs and milk.

Zinc: and essential mineral, has been found to have positive effects on the nervous system as well as helping to produce a calming effect. Most multivitamins contain zinc. Food sources for zinc are Oysters, meat, poultry, nuts, beans and dairy products.

What You Should Avoid:

What you don't eat may be even more important than what you do eat. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and sugar, because they tend to worsen anxiety. If you can't avoid them, then at least cut down.

Avoid Caffeine: Caffeine is something many people in America and Europe are used to bringing in their daily lives. Though many studies have shown that this addictive stimulant can help produce symptoms of anxiety, insomnia and the like. Caffeine is found in coffee, tea, chocolate, many sodas and even certain medications.

Always ask your doctor about a medication before using it. Also, ask the doctor if there is an alternative medication if your medicine contains caffeine.

Reduce Processed and Refined Foods: Processed food can rob your food of nutrients and vitamins that your body needs to fight off stress and promote good health. Try to buy whole foods, unprocessed foods and try and stay away from “instant” foods, preservatives, artificial flavors, saturated fat and MSG.

Reduce Sugar Intake:  Too much sugar can rob our body of essential nutrients. Yet don't be so fast as to replace the sugar with Stevia the natural sweetener from the Stevia plant. Artificial sweetener can also cause anxiety as well as other health concerns.

Reduce Alcohol Intake: In small amounts, alcohol can be good for your heart but too much alcohol is not a good thing for your body and too large of an intake increases your body's need for extra vitamins.

The body has a harder time using oxygen. As a result, you can become more sensitive to stress – which in turn can cause anxiety reactions. It can also cause depression.

The Effects of Alcohol on Anxiety:  How does alcohol contribute to Anxiety Disorders? Research has shown that alcohol ín high doses has numerous health hazards.

As well as many other things, ít can: increase your need for extra vitamins due to disturbed eating patterns interfere with the body's ability to use oxygen, to process food & absorb vitamins.

This results in high alcohol consumption making you more sensitive to stress.

Chronic abuse of alcohol ís often associated with depression-like symptoms, which can reduce the ability to solve problems, which ín turn can lead to anxiety.

Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to poor work performance, relationship difficulties & financial difficulties. This can produce stressors that worsen anxiety.

Help Anxiety and Depression Naturally!

MindSoothe is a specially formulated herbal remedy that has been successfully used in the treatment of Depression, Insomnia, OCD, SAD, Panic Disorder, and Anxiety.

Being natural, with no artificial preservatives, MindSoothe is safe for adults and children (also see MindSoothe Jr. for children), is non-addictive and has NO SIDE EFFECTS.

It has become the formula of choice by thousands of satisfied customers around the world for treating depression, insomnia, anxiety, ODD and more.

MindSoothe is pharmaceutically manufactured to the highest standards and was formulated by our team of experts in natural medicine.

Learn more about MindSoothe now. Why do we promote this?

Save

[lotsofdogs]

Nutrition and Supplements for Anxiety

We all have fears and worries but when they begin to dominate our life and our behavior, and become the focal point in which everything revolves, that’s anxiety.

Many factors can contribute; trauma, chemical sensitivity, caffeine, heredity, drugs, alcohol, lifestyle choices.

If you cannot change the situation that is the focus of anxiety, try to determine a way of trying to change your way of handling the problem.

Relaxation of the mind and body and stress reduction are key.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is often vague and undirected, a sinking feeling that something terrible is about to happen. Unlike concrete fears (of illness or losing a job, for example), anxiety often stems from what used to be called borrowed trouble.

Anxious people imagine worst-case scenarios and spend lots of time dreading things that may never happen. For persistent anxiety, seek professional counseling. But natural remedies can help tremendously.

Anxiety disorders are possibly the most common and frequently occurring disorders of the mind/body. They include a group of conditions that share extreme anxiety as the principal disturbance of mood or emotional tone.

Anxiety, which may be understood as the pathological counterpart of normal fear, is manifest by disturbances of mood, as well as of thinking, behavior and physiological activity.

Included in this category are panic disorder (with or without a history of agoraphobia) , agoraphobia (with or without a history of panic disorder), generalized anxiety disorder, specific phobia, social phobia, obsessive-compulsiv e disorders, acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder .

Anxiety disorders are ubiquitous across human cultures. The longitudinal course of these disorders is characterized by relatively early ages of onset, chronicity, relapsing or recurrent illness and periods of disability.

Panic disorder and agoraphobia are particularly associated with suicidal tendencies.

Nutritional Considerations

Add protein and carbohydrates to your diet: Incorporate protein into your diet. Protein helps to keep sugar levels stable. You can find protein in nuts, yogurt, beans, fish, chicken, tofu and lentils. Consider eating low glycemic carbohydrates such as brown rice and yams.

Seek out foods that are high in Omega-3 (fish oil/flaxseed oil): This oil has been shown in many studies, to reduce LDL (bad) cholesterol levels and reduce plaque buildup in your blood.

By reducing your bad cholesterol, you are helping your body to fight off stress and relieve anxiety, tension and even prevent heart disease! Fish/Flaxseed that are high in Omega-3 are excellent ways to help your blood stream. They are two of the greatest hormone regulators, as well.

Folic Acid: Folic Acid (required for energy production) is considered brain food. The brain needs it to work properly. It helps to prevent anxiety and fatigue. Folic acid works best when combined with vitamin C, vitamin B6 and vitamin B12. Much research has indicated that a deficiency of folic acid may include depression, insomnia, anorexia, forgetfulness, hyperirritability, apathy, fatigue and anxiety.

You can find Folic Acid in the following foods: Whole grain breads -Fortified cereals -Dried peas- Dried beans -Leafy vegetables- Fruit. Most multivitamin complexes contain folic acid.

GABA: GABA (Gamma Aminobutyric Acid) is an amino acid help reduce anxiety, allows rational decision making, promotes restful sleep and enhances workout recovery. It has also been shown to have similar effects as the benzodiazepine drugs.

You will also feel more relaxed and notice that you are sleeping better. The recommended dose for GABA is 700-750 mg – 3 times daily – talk to a medical professional about using GABA.

Inosistol: has been shown in studies to have a positive effect in the calming of the symptoms of panic attacks and obsessive-compulsiv e disorder. Taking up to 4 grams daily – 3 times-a-day has shown to be beneficial.

Magnesium: The supplement magnesium has been found to aid in the management of anxiety symptoms. Taking 200-300 mg of magnesium 2 to 3 times daily has been shown to help.

Selenium: Selenium, an important antioxidant, is a trace mineral found in soil and food. It protects neurotransmitters. Deficiency in selenium has shown to have a negative impact on mood. It also helps to reduce bad cholesterol and keep the heart healthy.

You can get much of your selenium from dietary sources such as: Alfalfa, fennel seed, ginseng, butter, garlic, liver, Brazil nuts, shellfish and other fishes. You can find it in sunflower seeds, yarrow, wheat germ and Brewer’s yeast.

Vitamin B1: Vitamin B1 is also known as “thiamine.” In many studies, B1 has shown to have positive effects on the nervous system and mental well being. Vitamin B1 is found in peas, soybeans, fortified breads, cereals, pasta, fish, pork, whole grains and dried beans.

Prolonged intake of large amounts of alcohol depletes your body’s supply of vitamin B1. Vitamin B3: (in the form niacinamide) has been tested in lab animals and seems to work in animals in the way that benzodiazepines such as Valium® have. *

Vitamin B6: Lack of Vitamin B6 has been known to cause anxiety and depression. The formation of certain brain chemicals from amino acids requires this vitamin. It affects the nervous system.

The recommended Dietary Allowances for adults (25+ years) is 2.0 for men and 1.6 for women. The best sources of vitamin B6 are meats (particularly organ meats such as liver), whole grains and wheat germ.

Vitamin B12: Vitamin B12 is needed for energy, brain function and a healthy nervous system. It helps to combat depression, stabilize PMS and helps to protect against anemia and it may help fight cancer. The best food sources of Vitamin B12 are liver, kidney, oily fish, beef, pork lamb, cheese, eggs and milk.

Zinc: and essential mineral, has been found to have positive effects on the nervous system as well as helping to produce a calming effect. Most multivitamins contain zinc. Food sources for zinc are Oysters, meat, poultry, nuts, beans and dairy products.

What You Should Avoid:

What you don’t eat may be even more important than what you do eat. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and sugar, because they tend to worsen anxiety. If you can’t avoid them, then at least cut down.

Avoid Caffeine: Caffeine is something many people in America and Europe are used to bringing in their daily lives. Though many studies have shown that this addictive stimulant can help produce symptoms of anxiety, insomnia and the like. Caffeine is found in coffee, tea, chocolate, many sodas and even certain medications.

Always ask your doctor about a medication before using it. Also, ask the doctor if there is an alternative medication if your medicine contains caffeine.

Reduce Processed and Refined Foods: Processed food can rob your food of nutrients and vitamins that your body needs to fight off stress and promote good health. Try to buy whole foods, unprocessed foods and try and stay away from “instant” foods, preservatives, artificial flavors, saturated fat and MSG.

Reduce Sugar Intake:  Too much sugar can rob our body of essential nutrients. Yet don’t be so fast as to replace the sugar with Stevia the natural sweetener from the Stevia plant. Artificial sweetener can also cause anxiety as well as other health concerns.

Reduce Alcohol Intake: In small amounts, alcohol can be good for your heart but too much alcohol is not a good thing for your body and too large of an intake increases your body’s need for extra vitamins.

The body has a harder time using oxygen. As a result, you can become more sensitive to stress – which in turn can cause anxiety reactions. It can also cause depression.

The Effects of Alcohol on Anxiety:  How does alcohol contribute to Anxiety Disorders? Research has shown that alcohol ín high doses has numerous health hazards.

As well as many other things, ít can: increase your need for extra vitamins due to disturbed eating patterns interfere with the body’s ability to use oxygen, to process food & absorb vitamins.

This results in high alcohol consumption making you more sensitive to stress.

Chronic abuse of alcohol ís often associated with depression-like symptoms, which can reduce the ability to solve problems, which ín turn can lead to anxiety.

Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to poor work performance, relationship difficulties & financial difficulties. This can produce stressors that worsen anxiety.

Help Anxiety and Depression Naturally!

MindSoothe is a specially formulated herbal remedy that has been successfully used in the treatment of Depression, Insomnia, OCD, SAD, Panic Disorder, and Anxiety.

Being natural, with no artificial preservatives, MindSoothe is safe for adults and children (also see MindSoothe Jr. for children), is non-addictive and has NO SIDE EFFECTS.

It has become the formula of choice by thousands of satisfied customers around the world for treating depression, insomnia, anxiety, ODD and more.

MindSoothe is pharmaceutically manufactured to the highest standards and was formulated by our team of experts in natural medicine.

Learn more about MindSoothe now. Why do we promote this?

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I Am Incurious: Giallo

Well, giallo....

For the uninitiated: a category within Italian horror movies, giallo films are primarily taken up with the synthesizing of the horror and crime genres, and are named for the practice by Mondadori, Italy's largest publishing house, of marketing mystery and thriller paperbacks in bright yellow covers (giallo being Italian for yellow). Officially beginning with Mario Bava's 1963 La ragazza che sapeva troppo (aka The Girl Who Knew Too Much and The Evil Eye), the onscreen gialli in general employ a number of tropes that are pervasive within the subgenres's visione del mondo. They include phallic knives and blood-smeared razors, black leather gloves and trenchcoats, eyes that follow intended victims with fixated fascination, and a multitude of corpses resembling nubile starlets. Though its adherents are among the most genuflecting of genre enthusiasts, giallo, I have to confess, is a branch of the horror thicket that produces little curiosity or enticement in me. The films are nothing if not exploitative, offer little in the way of vigor, pace, and individuality, and are almost impatiently indifferent to storytelling clarity. (Italy's horror films are not unlike its operas; the narrative is nothing, the set pieces--the murders, usually, and the gaudier the better--are all.)

However. If Bava can be credited with bringing a certain level of art to the combination of pulp, paranoia, and pasta, then Dario Argento, that overstimulated madman, has taken the giallo approach over the top, kicked it down the other side, and smashed it to bloody, derivative bits. It's often stated that he hit his filmmaking peak with the 1977 Suspiria, an occult thriller that its long-ago viewers sometimes mention with an almost ghostly sense of recall, the way many of us remember old, puzzling dreams. But it's Argento's 1970 directorial debut, L'ucello dale plume di cristallo (aka The Bird With the Crystal Plumage), that interests me (in shards, at least). More than most gialli, this one is directly rooted in crime novels--it's an uncredited adaptation of the 1949 pageturner The Screaming Mimi by Frederick Brown, a highly entertaining paperback author whose specialties include detective thrillers, science fiction, and casually derogatory dialogue that's terse, smart, and chewy. The Screaming Mimi was first filmed by Gerd Oswald under Brown's title in 1958, to no great advantage. That version's few distinctions: the blonde, vavoomish female lead, Anita Ekberg, is terrorized in a shower a mere two years before Hitchcock staged the same scene for all time with another, better blonde, Janet Leigh; it was shot in uncostly circumstances by a resourceful cinematographer, Burnett Guffey; and is enlivened by an intense performance from Harry Townes who plays a shifty psychiatrist and seems to be occupying a far more astringent production than the one his costars are struggling through.  

Argento's remounting isn't very much better overall, but it has two points of intense interest. The first is a sequence in which the hero, an American writer (Tony Musante) living in Rome, witnesses a murder attempt taking place in an art gallery, and tries to assist the victim (Eva Renzi) who is stabbed and left for dead by her attacker. While entering the  building, Musante becomes confined in its foyer between two sets of glass doors, both locked. With no way of reaching Renzi, who has collapsed and is bleeding copiously, he keeps an anxious eye on her and monitors the street for passers-by, hoping someone will appear and summon the law. Until then he can only wait and watch as Renzi, shedding blood, cries out for help. A promising scenario for suspense, yes, but the most significant aspect deals with the dimensions of the setting. The gallery's interior is rectangular and its walls are white--it resembles a movie screen, and the various pieces of statuary within it (contorted, grotesque figures, a gigantic set of bird claws) are like visions from a horror film. With either much conscious cunning or obsessive, unwitting creative drive, Argento has given us his own distillation of the moviegoing experience, and has constructed his striking tableau around the premise that watching films is a helpless, hypnotic undertaking, as well as its own form of entrapment. The entire setup is one of the few superbly inventive components of the movie, and truly Hitchcockian, evoking the dilemma faced by James Stewart in the 1954 Rear Window: while snooping on his neighbours, Stewart uncovers a homicidal situation in the apartment across the courtyard, but is unable to prove it. He, like Musante, is watchful but powerless, and caught up in his own private movie, one that’s come to life. (Especially redolent of Hitchcock's technique is the way in which Argento's art gallery episode secretes its own compound character.) L'ucello dale plume di cristallo, with its preponderance of spying, staring, and the dangers of observation, appears to be all about viewing horror movies. (Its other predominant subject, an uninvitingly tutorial one, seems to be How To Kill Pretty Girls, but movies, especially those with horror subjects, are incorrigible about mixing their gems with their garbage.)

My remaining complimentary remarks are for composer Ennio Morricone, whose score has moments of cold, airborne eeriness, and particularly for the cinematographer, Vittorio Storaro, who gives the film its only other great highlight: a nocturnal chase scene, smartly shot and edited. At the core of it are Musante, who has been investigating the murders on his own, and his paramour, Suzy Kendall, both of whom are being chased by a hired assassin. (Why the killer, who has no difficulty in dispatching each female victim, would risk engaging a sidekick to dispose of the hero and his girl isn't explained, but neither is a good deal else.) Though Argento, for the most part, doesn't give the film much oxygen, Storaro provides plenty of welcome atmosphere. Under his touch, Rome becomes a contrarian spectacle in which urban decay becomes vividly decorative. A shot of a timeworn building has a ruined, eye-catching splendor; the harsh street light and discoloured old stone create a sly, almost painterly effect (the stains creeping down the walls might have been borrowed from a handsomely debauched watercolour). In some images the dark appears to have condensed into a rarefied, burnished blackness, and Storaro's fog looks both gauzy and murky, as if it drifted in from two different sources. His tony treatment of the locations in this segment catches up with the lead performers too as Musante, an actor too good for the nonsense at hand, and Kendall, one of the most poised British starlets of the day, acquire an intent, headlong snap as they dash across the cobblestones and prowl through the gloom. They become more fun to watch (and somehow more licentious) while sprinting for their skins than when grinning fondly as they nuzzle in bed.

Otherwise? All else in this movie is done for either sheer effect or unconcerned sequential necessity, and the director's eroticization of the murders is too stupid and rebarbative to be worth discussing. Having said this, I should perhaps admit to a grudging fondness for Argento's 1993 Trauma, which is more or less a comedy about decapitation, though I can't actually defend it. 

And, possibly, of some minor incidental value: in 1992, I interviewed Argento for a now-defunct video magazine, and was unsurprised to find him a most pleasant man. Every professional Hyde requires a serving of social Jeykyll to call upon, surely...?

(Posted: 08/04/2017)

[icerats]

Warnings: Anxiety Attacks, Fear of death, accidental fearplay, Mention of torture (no torture actually takes place)

100 G/T Prompts Master List

Borrowers, Trauma, & Pasta: Chapter 1

(6.Borrow)

Ian's eyes glanced up at the counter looming over him. Borrowing was always intimidating for someone so small. Especially alone. His younger sister, Elissa, normally went with him, but she had gotten more and more sick as the days progressed. It was too dangerous for her to borrow in her feverish state. 

As his fishing hook lodged into the counter, he hoped he could get enough food for her. The stupid human living here was  always so unpredictable, making borrowing more difficult. Ian's muscles screamed in anguish as he forced himself to climb the rope. He already felt weak and exhausted before he even started to climb. When he finally reached the countertop, he collapsed in exhaustion. As thick beads of sweat dripped from his forehead, he allowed himself a few minutes of rest. 

Once he got his bearings he forced himself to get up, his knees shaking at the pure notion of it.

'I have to do this!' he told himself. 'Elissa is counting on me!'

Ian's eyes skimmed the countertop, looking for food that he could easily grab without it being noticed. Just as his eyes landed on an open box of cereal, Ian felt his heart drop.

Fear filled him as he heard the door open. Why did the stupid human have to be home now, he was supposed to be at the beach with his friends longer! It hadn't even been 20 minutes since the bean left the house!

Ian quickly tried to find a place to hide. But it was too late. The bean's eyes had already landed on him. As the giant stared at him in shock, Ian's hand quickly shot into his bag. 

Pulling out a thumbtack, he pointed it at the general direction of the human. If he was going to die, it wasn't going to be without a fight. 

"I-I'm warning you," Ian's voice trembled, "I'm armed!"

~

Will was having a shitty day. He had been excited to go to the beach. His best friend had given him a surfboard for his birthday awhile ago and he had been dying to try it out. The second he had gotten to the beach, it started raining. Then his parents had the audacity to call him as he was driving home and start harassing him about 'betraying god' and 'worshipping the devil'. He rolled his eyes, he thought the whole point of disowning your child was so you didn't have to talk to them anymore. 

And now, after all this shit, he had to deal with a 4 inch person on his countertop. Great. 

"I-I'm warning you," the tiny man said, obviously attempting to seem threatening,"I'm armed."

Will snorted when he saw that what he was 'armed' with was a thumbtack.

"Alright little dude," He said in amusement, "and what exactly are you planning on doing with your dangerous weapon?"

When the tiny being spoke again, his voice trembled worse than before. "D-Don't c-come an-any c-closer."

Will took a step forward and the tiny person visibly flinched. "Uhuh, and what are you going to do if I do go closer? This is my house, you know."

The thumb tack he was holding was trembling in his hands. "I-I'll stab you!" he yelled, surprising Will how loud that tiny being could be. "I'm not going to let you kill me without a fight!"

Will's brows furrowed in confusion as he processed what the guy just said. Did this dude really think he was going to kill him like some sort of monster? Then Will realized. His shaky voice, his trembling hands, the little dude was terrified of him. Will realized how scary this must be for him to have some stranger so giant so close to you, without knowing their intentions. 

Will took a step back, and the guy trembling on the counter stared at him with bewilderment. "Listen," he said in a tone that he hoped was comforting, "I'm not going to kill you dude. Relax."

Instead of calming the little dude down, the opposite effect happened. Instead, the dude seemed pissed off. 

"So what are you going to do then!?" he screamed at him, anger replacing the fear in his eyes. "Imprison me like some sort of twisted pet!? Well fuck off you stupid giant! I'm not going to let you do that! If that's your plan you better kill me now or I'll do it myself!"

Will took another step back. "Please don't do that dude. I'm not going to imprison you! What do you think I am, some sort of monster?"

One look at the guy's face told Will the answer to that. 

"Well I'm not," Will continued. "I promise, I'm not going to hurt you in any way."

Now the guy seemed even more pissed off. God, what did he do to this tiny dude to piss him off so much?

"Hey asswipe! I may be small compared to you, but I'm not an idiot! I'm not going to fall for your pretending to be nice act! I know what you giants are like!"

"I'm not doing that I swea-"

"Quit with your fucking bullshit! If you giants were kind, my parents wouldn't be dead!"

That immediately shut Will up. God, what had this poor guy been through? 

"Listen," Will tried again, "I'm so sorry for  what my kind did to you, but I promise I would never do that to you."

"God would you just fucking shut up already!" The man screamed, radiating with anger. "Why do all of you giants have to be so fucking fake!? Fuck this, I'm not going to let you torture me to death!" 

Before Will could stop him, the man started sprinting towards the edge of the counter. Luckily, the man fainted right before he reached the edge. His thumbtack rolled off the counter and fell to the floor with a clink. 

What the hell?

Will picked up the thumbtack and shoved it in his pocket, then cautiously walked over to him trying to figure out why he passed out. When Will got a closer look, he immediately knew why. From far away he wasn't able to see it. But up close he saw how frail the man was. He looked like he hadn't had a proper meal in his entire life. Then Will realized, that's why he was on the counter. Instantly guilt filled him as he realised that the poor dude probably was looking for food. 

Will glanced over at the stale cereal he had forgotten to close the night before. Nope, no way was this dude's first decent meal gonna be shitty cereal. No, he was going to make the best meal ever as an apology for scaring this poor dude so badly. But what to make? He sighed and resolved to ask his best friend for advice, and pulled his phone out to text her. 

[Me] Hey Liv, I got an important question.. 

[Olivia] What's up dum dum, need some relationship advice?

Will glanced at the guy on his counter and then back to his phone.

[Me] Um kind of?

[Olivia] God, Will. What the fuck did you do?

[Me] Ummmm, I fucked up my first impression with him really badly. I was planning on making some food to make up for it. 

[Olivia] ... 

[Olivia] Of course you fucking did.

[Me] Livvvvvvv, I have no clue what to make! You gotta help me. 

[Olivia] Just do his favorite food dude. 

[Me] I just met him! I don't even know what he likes!

[Olivia] Just make some fucking pasta. Everyone likes pasta. 

[Me] You're only saying that because that's your girlfriend's favorite food!

[Olivia] Yeah? So what? You asked for advice and you got it.

[Olivia] ooh she's calling me. Ttyl! Hope you don't completely ruin this relationship like you did all the other ones!

Will angrily shoved his phone back in his pocket. God, why did he think texting Olivia was a good idea? He sighed, and decided to follow her advice anyway. If he fucked this up he could at least blame it on her then. 

Will glanced back at the tiny person resting on the counter. He showed no signs of waking. It was strange seeing someone who was so angry and afraid earlier look so peaceful. 

A small smile graced Will's lips as he gently picked him up. He wasn't sure what to do with him. He couldn't just leave him on the counter, Will was afraid that he might try and jump again. But Will also knew this person would be terrified if he woke up in his hands. 

Will bit his lip and decided to set him at the very back of the counter and keep an eye on him. He would make sure the person didn't try to jump again. 

For the next several minutes, Will kept an eye on him as he made some pasta. After he was done, he realized he had no clue what to dish it up on. It wasn't like he just had tiny plates around. 

Glancing around the kitchen, he saw some plastic water bottles and improvised. He took the lid from one of the bottles and decided it could work as a tiny plate. He then took a single bowtie shaped noodle and placed it on the lid. Then covered it with a tiny amount of sauce. 

Will pushed the bottle cap near his guest, took several steps back so he wouldn't startle the dude again, and then waited for him to wake up. 

~

In all honesty, after Ian passed out he didn't expect to wake up again. He spent several minutes laying on the counter, pretending to be asleep. He didn't want to open his eyes and be forced to accept that this terrifying nightmare was all too real. He lied there, heart beating far too fast in his chest, wondering what his fate was. 

God, why didn't the giant just kill him already!? Tears started to pool in his eyes as he realized the answer. The giant wanted to torture him. Of course he fucking did. It's no fun hurting someone when they're unconscious. Maybe, just maybe if he pretended to sleep awhile longer he could buy himself more time. He knew if he got up there would be no escape, he knew the giant would make sure of that. 

God poor Elissa, what was she going to do without him? She couldn't borrow in her state! If she did, she would definitely be caught! Oh no, he could handle dying but not Elissa. He hoped she was still in her room. She wouldn't be stupid enough to go out looking for him, would she?

"I know you're awake." a booming voice said somewhere around him. 

God why did his torture have to start now? Ian's heart beaded faster in his chest. He didn't want to be tortured! All the horror stories his parents had told him flashed through his mind. At least his parents had a quick death, Ian knew he wasn't going to get that. If the giant was that merciful, Ian would have been with his parents by now. 

"You don't have to pretend to be asleep you know. I know you don't believe me but I promise I would never harm you."

God, please shut up. Ian whimpered and prayed to a god he didn't even believe in. 

Please, just go away. 

"Listen, I know you're afraid of me, but you have no reason to be. I promise."

Your promises mean nothing. 

"I want to apologize for scaring you. I deeply regret how I acted earlier."

Stop lying. 

"Please, just open your eyes. I want to talk to you. Please."

Are you going to torture me if I don't?

"Okay it's fine, you don't have to. I'll just give you some space."

Ian heard footsteps retreating. But he wasn't fooled. The giant wasn't just going to leave him alone. They never did. 

For several minutes, Ian lied there, terrified on the counter. 

~

Elissa was worried. Why wasn't her brother back yet? He never took this long! She forced herself to get up from her bed (a bunch of cotton balls bundled together with some string). She knew Ian told her never to go out, but what if he was in danger? Oh god, did the giant capture him!

Tears sprang to her eyes. Please no, please don't let him be captured! She couldn't lose him too! Ian was all she had left. 

Elissa took a rocky step forward, and brushed her grimy blonde hair away from her face. She felt horrible, so weak, just from getting up. But she had to do this. Ian needed her. 

She peered out from the crack in the wall. The coast was clear, for now. With her heart hammering in her chest she cautiously wandered around the house, searching desperately for her brother. 

Where would he be? He would go to the kitchen right? That's where they were taught to look for food first. Please, Elissa prayed, please let Ian be there. 

When she walked into the kitchen, she let out a horrified gasp. The bean was home, and he was staring at the counter. Why would he be staring at it unless.. Oh god, the bean found Ian! No, this couldn't be happening. She couldn't lose him, not after her parents. 

So Elissa did the most reckless thing she had ever done in her life. She begged. 

"Hey!" she yelled at the bean, who turned around to stare at her in shock. Elissa was terrified, and it felt like her throat was on fire, but she needed to do this. "Please Mr. Giant! Please don't hurt him! I'll do anything! I'm begging you, please!"

Before the bean said a single word she heard her brother yelling from the counter. 

"God, El! What the fuck are you doing!? Get out of here!"

She didn't. 

The giant stepped closer. Elissa didn't move. 

"Get away from her!" she heard her brother screaming at the giant. 

The giant didn't listen. 

"Please, I'll do whatever you want! Don't hurt her!"

The giant moved closer, and Elissa didn't move as he scooped her up in his hands. 

"Let her go you monster!" her brother screamed. "Don't kill her! Please don't hurt her! I'll do whatever you want! Please!"

Elissa tried to stay still as she trembled in the giant's hands. This was it, she was going to die. She just hoped her brother would be alright. 

But the giant didn't kill her, instead he gently let her down on the counter next to her brother. Both of the borrowers stared at the giant in shock as they hugged eachother. 

"So um," the giant said awkwardly, "You want some pasta?"

Wait, what?

Part 2

[icerats]

Warnings: Fear of death

Part One

100 G/T Prompts masterlist

Borrowers, Trauma, & Pasta: Chapter 2

(16. Trust)

Will watched as the two siblings stared at him with a mixture of fear in confusion. They didn't say anything, just eyed him warily. That was okay, it wasn't like he wasn't used to having one sided conversations. Being a social reject came in handy sometimes. 

"I thought you guys might be hungry." Will said, pointing at the noodle on the 'plate'. "Though I didn't know I had another guest here. I'll get a plate for you too. What was your name? El was it?"

"Don't call her that." The male one said, his eyes glaring through his black matted hair. 

"Ian! Do you want to piss him off?!" she hissed back at him.

The girl looked up at Will in fear, as if she was expecting some sort of negative reaction. Guilt tore at him for being her source of it.  

Will gave him a reassuring smile. "It's alright. What should I call you then?"

"None of your business!" The one called 'Ian' said before the girl could say a word. 

"Okay, fine mr. 'none of your business', do you guys want some pasta?"

Ian narrowed his eyes at him. "What game are you playing at?"

"Excuse me?" Will asked in confusion. 

"I know you giants aren't kind. Why are you giving us food? Did you poison it!?"

"God no!" Will snapped. Both borrowers flinched at his loud tone. "Sorry," he muttered, quieter now, "Listen, is it really that hard to believe that I don't want to harm you? I'm not a psychopath, okay? I'm not just going to harm some people for being smaller than me."

That didn't seem to convince Ian, but the blonde one seemed to be considering his. words.

"R-Really?" she asked in disbelief. "You a-aren't go-going to har-harm us?"

Her brother shot a glare in her direction. "Really El? Don't be naive. I know you are sick and haven't eaten in days so you must not be thinking clearly, but you can't trust him. Don't make the same mistake our parents did."

"Wait.. you haven't eaten in days!?" Will looked at the small girl with concern. She didn't look well at all. She was as scrawny as her brother and looked just as underweight and malnourished. Her unkept stringy hair clung to her forehead, which was slick with sweat. The young girl was unnaturally pale, except for her red nose and bloodshot eyes. Was she sick?

The young girl sneezed and looked up at him warily. "Y-Yeah."

Will pushed the 'plate' closer to the girl. "Please eat."

She looked at the noodle hungrily. 

"El," her brother warned. "Don't eat that."

She glanced back and forth between Ian and the noodle, seemingly unable to decide. 

"It's alright," Will tried to reassure her. "You can eat it."

"El, no! Don't even consider it!"

Will sighed in frustration. This wasn't going anywhere.

Both of the borrowers flinched. 

"Sorry." Will muttered, he had the feeling he would be saying that word a lot. "Is there any way I can prove it's not poisoned?"

Ian looked up at him, eyes filled with a mixture of fear and distrust. "No."

Will wanted to slam his head into the counter. This was getting nowhere. "What if I eat it? Then will you believe it's not poisoned?"

Ian scoffed. "Of course not! It's obvious that you put just enough poison in the food to hurt us but not you. It would take a lot more to harm you, wouldn't it!?"

This was it. The paranoia wafting from this dude had already taken too much of Will's sanity. "Okay fine. I give up. You don't have to eat it if you don't want too. Clearly I'm just scaring you. I'll leave. You guys can go, just please don't hurt yourself."

And with that Will left the room, calling Olivia on his way out.

~

Ian was dumbfounded. Never in his life did he expect a giant to just give up. When he flat out refused to eat that poisoned food, he expected the giant to yell and scream, maybe turn Ian into a red stain on the countertop. The last thing he was expecting was this.

No way did that giant just give up. He HAD to be planning something. Had to have some sort of ulterior motive. But what could it be? Wait.. didn't the giant call someone on the way out? Shit! He called someone on the way out! Pest control! The fucker called pest control to kill him!

"Ian, are you alright?" his sister started rambling to him, "Why aren't you saying anything? Are you mad at me? I'm sorry I talked to the giant, okay? I-I just didn't want you to get hu-"

"Elissa! We have to get out of here now!"

"Why? Because we were seen? He honestly didn't seem that bad-"

"El! Don't be stupid, that giant was trying to trick us and you fell for it! He just called pest control! We need to leave, NOW!"

Elisa's face turned white as a sheet. "P-Pest control?"

Ian grabbed her arm, "Come on, let's go!"

Elissa didn't. Instead she started violently coughing. "I-I ca-can't. It already took too much e-energy walk over here. J-Just go without m-me."

"No! I won't leave you! I'll carry you if I have too!"

Elissa frowned softly, looking seconds away from passing out. "We both know you are too weak to carry me. Just go, mom wouldn't want us both dead."

"No!" Ian summoned all the strength he had, and carried her. Even in his weakened state, she felt surprisingly light. Too light. They had to get food the second they got out of here. Ian glanced back at the door one more time, and then ran.

~

Olivia tapped her fingers on the table impatiently. Ian was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.

"Is there anything I can get you?" The barista asked for the third time.

"No. Just waiting for a friend."

"Well if you're going to sit at a table, you'll need to order something." Olivia swore her tone just got colder. Impatient bitch, wasn't it a barista's job to be nice?

"Ugh fine, gimme a venti vanilla bean créme frappe."

"And what would you like to get for your friend?"

"I'm not paying for him."

Olivia swore she saw judgement flicker on her face. "And what is your name miss?" Nosy bitch, the hell is her problem? I'm not paying for a jackass who is late.

"Olivia. With an 'O'. "

"Thanks, it will be out in a few minutes. I hope your friend comes." Conceded bitch.

A few minutes later the barista came back, drink in hand and a smug smile on her face. "Where's your friend?"

"Not here." she grumbled, glancing down at the name written on her cup. "Alivea".

"Would you like your drink to go then?"

Olivia sighed, about to finally leave this stupid Starbucks, but then her phone rang.

About time Ian decided to actually give her a heads up on no-showing. "You better have a good fucking reason for ditching me ya know. You better not have ditched me for that guy you just met right? Please tell me you just gave him pasta and left."

"Livvvv, I couldn't just do that! I had to apologize! I think he was still pretty pissed I scared the shit out of him."

"What the fuck did you do to even scare him Ian!"

"Please stop sweari-" the barista said before Olivia flipped her the bird and walked to her car.

"Livv I didn't even do anything!" Ian insisted, "I just existed!"

"... Ian. How the hell did you even find this dude? You barely ever go outside."

"Ummmm promise not to freak out?"

Uh oh, there went all the alarm bells ringing in Olivia's head. "Sure.... now TELL ME."

"Well I uh kinda found him in my um-"

"Spit it out. I don't have all day."

"I uh found him like in my house."

"Some dude broke into your house!?!? Why the hell didn't you call the cops, and why the hell did you APOLOGIZE to the dude who fucking BROKE INTO YOUR HOUSE!!"

"Well technically I don't think he actually broke anything..."

"Ian, call the fucking cops. That lunatic could have murdered you in your sleep."

"If he wanted to do that, he would have done it by now. It's fine, he won't hurt me."

"... Wait... what the hell do you mean BY NOW? Has this dude been LIVING in your house?"

Ian paused, "I mean I think so? I mean it's not as bad as you think though, I don't think he had a choice!"

"If you're homeless you go to a homeless shelter, not break into people's houses and live in their closet!"

"I actually think they're living in the floorboards.... "

"THEY'RE!! What do you mean they're!! There is another psycho living in your house!?!

"Wait Liv, give me a chance to explain! It's not as bad as you think! They're harmless, and I think they just need help!"

"Give me one reason not to call the cops right fucking now!!"

"Promise to not call me crazy?"

"You're already crazy for letting two psychos live in your house."

Ian went radio silent for a couple seconds, then his voice returned in a whisper. "Well uh they're like uh kinda four inches tall?"

Olivia almost dropped her phone. No, it couldn't possibly be them, could it!?

The grip on her phone tightened. "What did they look like?"

"Um tiny siblings? Both really pale. The guy has black eyes and hair, and his sister has blue eyes and is blonde? Why? Do you actually belie-"

No, it was THEM.

Her phone smashed into a thousand tiny pieces on the concrete.

Part 3