#books and a personal library and like pieces of my soul lol

[adlibitur]

i feel like people can even be in my life for a long period and still not seem to understand certain priorities and values I have and that surprises me quite a lot.

[thisbluespirit]

Meme: Top 10 AO3 works vs Personal Top 10

I was tagged by @captain-aralias Thank you @captain-aralias! <3

Rules: List your "top 10" (or up to 10 if you haven't written that many) fics ranked by kudos on AO3. Are you surprised by what's most popular to your readers? Then, under a cut, provide your ranking of your personal top 10 fics (with explanations if you want!), and then tag a few fellow writers!

AO3 top 10 by kudos:

The Spirit of St Mary Mead (Miss Marple)

So We Meet at Last (Miss Marple/Dracula 1968)

it's the rain that will strengthen your soul (Star Wars Prequels)

Five Times the Doctor Got in the Way of Captain Janeway (and One Time They Got Along Just Fine) (DW/Star Trek: Voyager)

By the Book (Original)

Observation (Miss Marple)

We'll Burn That Barn When We Come To It (Hist RPF)

Not Bad For a First Attempt (Georgette Heyer)

Some With Arrows, Some With Traps (SW Prequels)

Dodging a Bullet (Doctor Who)

My own top 10.

A lot of these are fine as top stories, I think! Even if I think something is good, I don't trust that it is, if other people haven't said so. I mean, proof of the pudding is in the eating and all that. That said, there are definitely some random things that have got into this list.

(Dodging a Bullet has been pretty well unloved for YEARS, but looking at it it seems like maybe someone recced it last year somewhere or something? It suddenly had a bunch of bookmarks and has pushed out other things. Plus all the Star Wars ones have moved positions again.)

If I sort by comments, I think those are much better, so in no particular order:

The Spirit of St Mary Mead (Miss Marple yuletide fic, where Miss Marple is a Genius Loci, but it's still just canon. It was a great prompt, I think I wrote it fine, and it's top of my works by every measure, and there's no ship effect, so... who am I to argue?)

We'll Burn That Barn When We Come To It (William of Normandy/Harold AU in which the Battle of Hastings involves a lot more sheep and bees and a lot less people being killed. It's 'found texts' type fic, another Yuletide one, it was huge fun to write and it got a great response, so again, I'm not going to disagree!)

By the Book - I am SO happy and amazed this is on both lists. It was original fic written for Het Exchange (the tiniest exchange, lol!! XD) a few years back, for the prompt of Librarian/Demon she accidentally summoned. I got to use all my rl library knowledge and it, er, sort of stormed the exchange (it was VERY tiny, did I say?), and I would place it in my top ten, yes. I don't know how people still keep finding it, but I'm so delighted that they do, and they still like it.

it's the rain that will strengthen your soul - again, yes. This is a five times Padme Lives Obidala AU where they go on the run with the twins post RotS. It was another for an exchange (Space Swap, I think). I wrote it in mid lockdown, I buried myself in the Wookieepedia, and I was pleased with this one, and it's gradually got more love as the time has gone on, and I think it is a good fic; a very gentle story of healing that was probably a lot due to the times.

Okay, but there we diverge, because I think all of these are that bit better than the others in that list (which include at least 2 pieces of flash fic, one of which was written to cover a wrangling error I made long ago). Mind you, I think in some cases, it's because I Did The Research Dammit Appreciate This People, or because I plotted harder than usual, but most of these are or have been in top ten positions on AO3 as well:

(5) movements of the mind (Twelfth Night) - I wrote Shakespeare fic for Yuletide (about Feste & Olivia), and pulled it off. I had to watch TN a lot and then got 16th C jokes off the internet.

(6) Truth and Compromise (Discworld) - so old I hesitated a while over it, but I think I genuinely got the tone right (which is never easy for something like this) and I occasionally still read it myself if I want something to follow up The Truth with Wiliam/Sacharissa.

(7) Cul-de-Sac (No hawkers, traders, cold callers, canvassers or purveyors of religious knowledge) (Sapphire & Steel) - I've written a lot of S&S I'm really pleased with. It was hard to choose one (I do think I've done some good and unusual things for it), but this stands up and was very well liked.

(8) One Step Forward (Two Steps Back) (Jonathan Creek) It's very timey-wimey and I had to write accurate Maddy and Jonathan and be funny, and I do think I achieved all of the above, even if it took quite a while.

(9) Salt of the Earth (DW) I always include this one in my self-recs, but there's a reason. I still think it's good. It's about a very minor character, but it was one I'd wanted to write ever since I first watched Image of the Fendahl.

(10) i love the rose both red and white (Shadow of the Tower) Maybe this is another 'i did the research' one, but it's very obscure and still has done pretty well in my stats, so I don't think it's just me. But I did do the research, and I tried to push myself as to style for it as well, I think.

I do like Some With Arrows, Some With Traps, but it's another SW Obidala exchange fic, and it is very surprising that it's as high in kudos because it has never got many comments, and I just thought it wasn't much liked. But it has an OC droid and was as much 'SW fun adventure but Obidala canon divergence' as I could make it. (Still, I it's a short story that clearly in my head should have been 80k and never ever will be, so I think it's fair to swap it out for variety.)

I do not know what is with the Miss Marple thing. It just happened. (Those are pretty much my only Miss Marple stories! It's a rare fandom! It is a mystery.) It's pretty funny, though, and I will be sad if one day the ships beat Miss Marple from the lists!

Tagging (if wanted/not already tagged): @maryellencarter @pers-books @lurking-latinist @herawell @scarletmanuka @human-nxture @bunn1cula @foreignobjecticus @jurijurijurious

[ambersgiantpanda]

Ohhhhh this is so interesting cause I kinda went through all the stages lol (boys and girls, though I'm straight, so we're just being hypothetical). And I think I'm gonna make this list gradually from those who I most likely would date.

But okay, let's get into it - ~long post warning~

And let's start with Amber. My number one girl, love her so much, we would have the most amazing time on sleepovers talking about fashion and color coordination of our outfits, doing each other's hair and makeup and then make out. She was my first girl crush ever, nothing more to say.

Close second place is Patricia aka my second girl crush ever, from whom I've stolen half of my personality (the other half is Amber's lol). I even had my hair dyed blonde at the top and cherry red at the bottom once because I wanted to have a piece of both of them on me. But anyway - Patricia. We have pretty much the same music taste, I grew up listening to Sick Puppies and I love alternative rock (not as much as I love Taylor Swift, but it's still one of my fav genres). Concert dates would be amazing. I had my goth phase too, I wore pink and purple hair extensions (and I wish someone told me that the black lipstick on a 4'5 twelve-year-old looked ridiculous, but hey, it's the thought that counts). I would join her when she pours liquids over people's heads because I've done it irl as well; watching her soaking Eddie in milk gave me such a great idea of how to treat people who don't respect me or don't understand what a 'no' means. Drinking enormous amounts of coffee, severely arguing while trying to learn how to drive (because we're both bad at this), cuddling on the couch while pretending it's way too mushy for the both of us but secretly loving it, - yes, please.

Next one is Eddie. His loyalty and the things he would do for his loved once speak for themselves. He would literally die for those he loves. He literally has died for those he loves. There's nothing more I would ask. He would be down for getting matching tattoos. And I bet our kids would be so cute.

Fourth place - Jerome. Yes, I do have problems, thanks for asking. Yes, I do tend to fall in love with someone who would be bad for me. And yes, it would be a toxic relationship at both sides. But Great Gods, HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?!?!? Have you seen those fucking gorgeous blue eyes?? We would be the most beautiful blue-eyed couple, my eye color would match his perfectly... Have you seen that hair you could just play with forever?? Have you seen those hands?? I have a thing for attractive hands with thin graceful fingers personally and that was pretty much the main factor that won me over about Jerome. Cause his hands and wrists and fingers are just so beautiful. It's a work of art and I would spend hours just admiring them and exploring every single vein, mesmerized. (And I bet those fingers also can do a lot of good, iykyk))) Yes, Jerome might be an asshole, but he's a very pretty asshole, so it's fine I guess. Again, I do have problems.

My number five and my Roman Empire at the same time is Kira Miller. I bet you didn't expect that, huh? But well, Tess named me her number one fan for a reason (btw, Tess, if you're reading this, I still feel very flattered). Anyway, even though Kira does not exist in canon, she exists in my heart and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I would let her borrow any book from my library, I have plenty of russian classics for her to read in original. And I can teach her russian better than Yale can, so it's a win-win) Kira is the kind of OC that I can most relate to, that I feel with my heart and soul. The only flaw is that she's not real and I still miss her after finishing Two Is Company.

I'm gonna do a number five take 2 because we're talking about canonical characters here, so I'm gonna say Alfie. With him it's 50/50. Yes, he's very sweet and very caring. But he's also kinda childish and innocent. It's not bad, it's adorable, but not in a relationship with me. I want someone more mature and straightforward.

I doubt that I would date Fabian - sorry, but he's too sweet and shy for me, and I take my whiskey neat. Although we could talk about Egypt for hours because I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to mythology and history too.

Same with Nina, wouldn't date her because of her shyness, but we do have common ground, and we would be great friends.

With Willow it's kind of opposite. She's too much for me. She's not a lot like Patricia or Eddie (that kind of a lot I like), but she's a lot in her own way. She reminds me of Phoebe from 'Friends' and I don't think I could date a person who's too much of a space cadet.

KT. She's an amazing friend, but I just can't imagine myself in a relationship with her. It's more of 'I wanna be her when she's kissing Kira' kind of thing for me.

Joy is a hard one, really. But I think I'm gonna say no to dating her. I can't really explain it, but there's something that is telling me our relationship would be a disaster. It wouldn't be good for her, and it wouldn't be good for me, we're just gonna traumatize each other more.

Mara. Not my type. Not my type at all. I'm a perfectionist myself and I realize how hard it is to be in a relationship with one, don't wanna make it two.

Mick. I bet he's sweet and stuff, but I have to agree with Jerome on this one - he's a meathead. Wouldn't date him. A jock? No thank you, I need an intelligent person who wears suits and can keep a conversation about arts and literature going.

Those were all of the Anubis kids, but as a bonus I'm also gonna say that I totally would date Piper and Jason Winkler. They aren't on my list, but I would go for it.

P.S. Yes, I have learned how to color the text here😁😁

Which House of Anubis character would you date and why?

I'll start:

•Alfie: my boy is a green flag and I love him so much

•Eddie: he is kinda pathetic loser but he loves you with his soul and I also love him as hell

•KT: she is SO me and I'm SO her, I'd love to date this perfect girl

•Patricia: out of question, she's my number 1 girl. Even if it's hard at first, it's definitely worth it.

•Joy: my traumatised girl is so girlfriend material, I trust her and I love her

[camgoloud]

📓📜📚 (And Sixth House, if possible?)

(in reference to the following tag game: “Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.”)

oh ABSOLUTELY it's possible. i can ALWAYS talk sixth house let's go

i've always been really, really curious about exactly what palamedes was thinking immediately after harrow dropped in on his bubble in htn. like, he's been trapped for a while with absolutely jack shit to do except reread a trashy romance novel, he's got to be bored out of his mind—and then he has an absolutely WILD five minutes in which harrow shows up, says a bunch of shit that makes absolutely NO sense, and, immediately before she has to run away from whatever weird creature has stalked her soul into the bubble(?), inadvertently reveals that she must have done—um—something(?) to preserve gideon's soul within her? leaving her in WHAT kind of shape?? and what has she been up to for the past, apparently EIGHT months holy shit???? and what has CAMILLA been up to? etc. etc..... basically i just think that it would be really fun to put myself in the position of Palamedes, Boy Detective as he, with his Extremely limited dataset, attempts to cure his boredom by piecing together the. entire plot of htn oops lol. and also reflects on his relationship with harrow... like. is it the truest form of friendship that has ever existed if you spend a couple weeks sharing traumatic experiences and forming a tentative alliance with the one other person around who’s not a Total Moron to avoid Literally Dying and then against all odds you manage to reunite ages later after one of you has become clinically insane to the point where she’s forgotten you two ever even spoke to each other, and the other one of you has just done eight months in solitary slowly coming to romanticize and possibly question the mere existence of other conscious beings to the point of mental and emotional instability. is it touching and tragically beautiful if the two of you have a super awkward hug and then huddle up together while trying to hold a door closed to avoid Literally Dying Again and your non-corporeal ghost bodies are the realest thing either of you has held in over half a year. personally i think maybe the answer is yes actually

camilla hect assassin's creed au. okay so this one is pretty niche, but like... consider. shortly after the master warden palamedes sextus is (according to most people) killed in a strike by (according to most people) the templar order, sworn enemies of the assassins, camilla hect is being inducted into the assassin order. this roughly correlates with as yet unsent era of canon—the assassins are the boe equivalent, while the templars are the houses. corona has already enthusiastically joined up with the assassins, and she knows something is Up with camilla—namely, camilla's loyalties are a lot more divided than she lets on, because while she's not onboard with templar ideology she isn't REALLY convinced that it was actually them and not someone else (potentially even the assassins...) who ordered the strike that blew up the library in which pal was doing his research—research that would have been damaging for both sides if it ever went public... she's also not fully convinced that pal actually died in that explosion, due to some cryptic notes he'd left behind on the day the bomb went off. so, while she's working with the assassins, she starts doing some side investigations to see whether their story holds up. corona is NOT pleased about this and keeps telling her that what she's doing is dangerous and pointless and she needs to stop, but when has camilla ever listened to advice like that... i actually think it's kind of funny, this is an au i conceived of a couple months before as yet unsent even came out, but now that i'm looking back over my brainstorming doc most of it holds up with canon remarkably well actually. if i thought that more than two people in the world would have any interest in reading the end product i might even finish writing it sometime lol

my pride and joy... the pal vs. ianthe mind fight fic! this one i think i will be a bit more tight-lipped on because i have actually been writing it somewhat-actively and will theoretically be posting it sometime in the relatively near future, although at the moment it's taken a bit of a backseat because i've got holiday exchange things to think about, but... allow me to say one word that may pique your interest: timeloops. well, it's not quite a timeloop fic, actually—but it is in many ways a love letter to timeloop media, in which ianthe tridentarius has a bad time for a long time

thanks for asking! sorry i went on about those first two for SO long—it's just so much fun to talk about these concepts that i may not ever find the time to actually Write properly, but desperately want to show off anyway. hope you found it at least a little bit entertaining!

[accioromione]

Prompt: Ron looking at his and hermiones zodiac signs to see their compatibility when he’s in divination lol

Ahhhhhh!!!! Okay

Title: A Virgo and a Pisces (Takes place in fourth year before the goblet of fire says Harry’s name somewhere between ch 14 and 15 of GOF lol) 

‘Alright young minds, turn to chapter fourteen please’ professor Trewlawny said dreamily.

‘Today we will look upon the stars to see our inner selves!’

Ron opened his Divination textbook to chapter fourteen, which was titled “Astrology- Zodiac Characterisics”

‘Now only a few posess the gift of astrology, to be able to read the stars is not an easy task, but ancient astrologists who possessed the power of sight were able to understand the stars and the planets, and those born where the stars align into different shapes have different characteristics, is anyone here aware of their zodiac? And some characteristics that accompany it?’

Parvarti’s hand shot up in the sky

‘Yes my dear,’ said Professor Trelawney.

‘I’m a Capricorn! They’re supposed to be hard-working,’

‘Ahhh yes,’ said Professor Trelawney said, ‘the sea-goat’ she continued, and she emphasized her point by curling up her hands to make what appeared to be an imitation of horns at the front of her forehead.

‘Yes they are said to be very hard working, alas every capricorn I have known has died due to a work related illness,’ she continued, making parvarti look absolutely terrified, ‘but it is a good characteristic indeed, ten points to Gryffindor house.’

‘Anyone else?’ professor Trelawney continued, and many other hands shot into the air. She picked on Draco Malfoy’s.

‘Well, my birthday is June 5th, I suppose that’s a Gemini.’ Draco said, ‘I know we’re meant to be charming and whimsical.’

‘Ahhh yes the twins, very two- faced they say the Gemini’s are, those in astrology are very careful to trust Gemini’s. They are very untrustworthy indeed. Gemini’s are by far the most manipulative, superficial and deceitful of any zodiac. This leads to their downfall of course, most Gemini’s die by murder you see. Really a pity. 10 points to Slytherin.’

Draco looked furious, Ron and Harry sniggered.

‘And you two?’ Trewlaney asked, which caused Ron and Harry to stop laughing.

‘I’m March 1st- so I reckon I’m a Pisces’ Ron said, ‘used to see those astrology things on the daily profit’

‘Ahhh yes the fish,’ Trelawney said, and she put her hands on her cheeks to imitate a fish swimming.

‘Very passionate... very laid back but can be very temperamental, they are also very intuitive and empathetic. I quite like the fish. Be weary however, this empathy leads to great downfall, the Pisces are very trusting and often betrayed by those they trust most.’

Ron raised his eyebrows at Harry jokingly.

‘And you dear?’ Trelawney said turning to Harry.

‘I’m a Leo,’ Harry said.

‘Ah no surprise, the Lion.’ Trelawney said, licking the top of her hand as if she were a cat.

‘Yes, very brave the lions are, ready to dominate any task they set out to do. But alas, very VERY egotistical, this leads to their downfall as they tend to overestimate their abilities and refuse to accept any forms of critistism. They tend to die at an early because their confidence causes them to believe that they alone can do the most dangerous of tasks, shame.’

‘She might be on to something,’ Ron whispered, Harry elbowed him.

‘Unfortunately the time is something my eye can foresee but not control, we are out of time today. Your homework will be to write an essay on your zodiac sign, I would like you to use this book as well as other astrology resources you can find in the library to write about the characteristics of your zodiac. Please include good and bad character traits, which is in chapter fifteen. I would also like you to write about related careers, friendships, romantic relationships, and of course, the way your sign will lead to your ultimate death. For your romantic relationships, you should do it based on your sign compatibility in the book. The last part of chapter seventeen states the sign you are most romantically compatible with. It should be a minimum of four pages and a maximum of six pages, and you should show a clear astrological understanding of everything, you’re all dismissed.’

The class got up and Ron and Harry walked to the Great hall for lunch, they saw Hermione with two empty seats beside her.

‘How was divination?’ Hermione asked as the two took their seats.

‘Actually not bad, Astrology is pretty interesting, and she wasn’t too far off about Harry.’ Ron jokingly said, plating some food.

Hermione rolled her eyes, ‘Astrology is a bunch of make-believe it’s not backed up by any real science Ron.’

‘Sounds like something a Virgo would say,’ Ron joked.

‘How’d you know I’m a Virgo?’ Hermione asked.

‘The inner eye? I dunno- your birthday’s September 19... that’s a Virgo is it not?’ Ron asked, putting a spoonful of food in his mouth, Hermione looked at him curiously.

‘Yes... but how did you know? Most people only know their own signs.’ Hermione stated matter of factly.

‘I know Harry’s too, it’s the same as Ginny’s. No wonder you’re both mental.’ said Ron to Harry and Harry rolled his eyes.

‘Oh so is someone in your family a Virgo then?’ Hermione asked.

‘Er-no,’ Ron said, his ears red. The truth was that the reason he knew that Hermione was a Virgo was because he liked to read the horoscopes on the daily profit sometimes, and some days he would be curious as to what Hermione’s would say.

‘Percy was a day off from being a Virgo though, he’s technically a Leo-Virgo mix. Oh god, Percy’s what you get if you mix you two together,’ Ron added pointing at them, ‘makes sense in an odd way.’

‘Hey!’ Harry said indignantly.

‘I don’t make the rules, the stars do mate,’ Ron said matter of factly before putting another spoonful of food in his mouth.

‘The stars,’ Hermione scoffed, ‘pathetic.... it’s all made up... they make general terms that can apply to everyone.’

‘I dunno,’ Harry said picking up a spoonful of food and placing it in his own mouth, ‘She was pretty accurate about Malfoy,’ Harry sniggered. 

‘You can’t assume someone’s personality by the day they’re born, it’s completely illogical.’ Hermione stated, ‘Anyways I’m off to Arthimancy, a subject that is based on ACTUAL facts.’ She picked up her books and walked away. 

‘Such a fun girl, always a good time with Hermione.’ Ron said before picking up another spoonful of food. 

‘I can’t believe she wants us to write a four paged essay,’ Harry said, taking a swig of his juice. 

‘Yeah, characteristics I understand...But relationships? Now we have to talk about a whole other zodiac too,’ said Ron. 

‘Actually,’ Harry said taking out his Divination textbook, ‘I wonder who I’m compatible with....’ 

‘Do you even know Cho’s birthday?’ Ron asked, and Harry kicked him, Ron knew that Harry had developed a crush on the Ravenclaw seeker. 

‘Let’s see.....’ Harry said flipping through the book.. ‘Oh Leo okay there....Leo’s are compatible with Leo’s?’ 

‘Makes sense,’ said Ron, ‘egotistical and all, hey Ginny might stand a chance after all.’ 

‘Let's see you then,’ Harry said, annoyed that his zodiac stereotype was so vain it had to be compatible with itself. 

‘Okay Pisces lets see,’ Harry smirked at he looked read the book. 

‘Well? Go on,’ Ron said, tagging a swig of his own juice. 

‘Virgo,’ Harry said sniggering and Ron spit out his juice. 

‘Well-’ Ron sputtered, ‘I reckon Hermione’s right, this is all made up.’ 

‘Ah agreeing with your soul mate, very cute Ron.’ Harry said and Ron’s ears turned red. 

‘You’re taking the mickey,’ said Ron, grabbing the book from Harry. But when he looked down at the text in front of him, he saw that Harry was very much telling the truth, according to the book, a virgo was the sign he was most compatible with. 

Harry was sniggering, and Ron gave him a death stare. Hermione was HIS FRIEND. And she was a down pain sometimes, he loved her very much. But as a FRIEND. She wasn't ugly by any means....Actually...she had gotten even more good looking over the summer...and more curvaceous.... which Ron had tried not to notice too much... Wait what...What was he thinking? He shouldn't have been thinking about how curvaceous Hermione had gotten! 

‘Well reckon this is going to be an interesting essay at least,’ Harry said, ‘can’t believe she’s only giving us two days to do it.’ 

‘Yeah what’s that about? Mcgonagall is up our arses, Flitwick expects us to do all those charms and we've barely been back yet!’ said Ron annoyed. 

Harry nodded his head in agreement. 

------

That night Ron and Harry sat in the common room working on their essays. Hermione was in a chair by the fireplace, with her head buried in a piece of parchment, also writing furiously. 

‘How are we supposed to make this four pages?’ Ron asked Harry, ‘the book barely says anything, it just states character traits and who you’re compatible with.’ 

Harry flipped through the pages in his Divination textbook, ‘you’re right, should we go to the library?’ 

‘Might as well, I don't want to work on this any more than I have to already.’ Ron said picking up his quill and parchment, Harry followed suit. 

‘We're going to the library Hermione, want to come?’ Ron asked, Hermione looked up from her parchment and raised her eyebrows. 

‘You two are going to the library?’

‘Is that not what I just asked? Unless you want to write our divination essays for us.’ Said Ron, and Hermione frowned. 

‘No I do no not...to writing the essays...but alright to the library! I can finish Ancient Runes there, I like their big tables!’ Hermione said eagerly picking up her rucksack and getting off the chair. 

‘Right,’ said Ron, rolling his eyes at Hermione’s now beaming face. ‘You’d have think I asked her to go on a trip,’ Ron said to Harry as she eagerly chased behind them. 

The three of them made their way towards the library, Ron looked around for the Astrology section. 

‘Let's see....Ancient Runes.... oh Hermione would love this..okay okay... aha Astrology!’ said Ron, and Harry and him browsed books together. Both of them found some books that were along the lines they were looking for. 

Ron found two books, one called Compatibility of the Constellations and the other called, Constellations and Careers. Harry found two books as well, one called, The Fundamental Traits the Zodiacs, and the other called Astrology: The Signs and their Meanings. 

Both Ron and Harry took a seat at the long table Hermione was sitting at, buried deep into her work. Ron and Harry knew better than to disrupt Hermione when she was in work mode. 

Ron took out Compatibility of the Constellations and started to read. Skipping any part that didn’t show Pisces..he flipped through until he saw the mentioning of Pisces. To his luck he found exactly what he was looking for, explaining why he was compatible with certain signs as friends, Ron smiled approvingly when he saw Leo as being very compatible with Pisces as friends. He showed it to Harry who smiled back. Harry was reading The Fundamental Traits the Zodiacs and could hear him scoff a few times as he wrote on his parchment. Ron read further down, until he reached a subheading that said, The Romantic Lives of Pisces, and just like the Divination book told him, this book also implied that he was compatible with Virgos. He read further and almost hiccoughed at the sub-title. Dating and Sexual Life of Virgo and Pisces. 

What the hell was Trelawney asking for here? Ron continued to read, 

Pisces can let go, let it be, and just live in the moment, which is something that Virgo deeply struggles to do, as they tend to want to control everything

Well they’re not wrong, Ron thought to himself, writing this down. 

Pisces can encourage Virgo to become more laid back and less strung. Most Virgos are workaholics who make little to no time for leisure and pleasure activities.

Ron looked up at Hermione, who was was writing madly and grinned down and wrote down this very true statement. 

Most people of other zodiac signs do not understand the pressure Virgo goes through; however, Pisces’ sensitive nature can pick up on what their Virgo partner is feeling or thinking. Pisces possess just the right amount of compassion to know what to do to soothe the tension in their Virgo partner. Pisces can remove Virgo’s stress and worry, and encourage Virgo to relax, let go, and enjoy the present moment. Patience and trust in the greater good are what Pisces can teach Virgo.

Ron wondered if he truly did do this for Hermione.... she was definitely not the same Hermione from first year, sure she was still high strung, but compared to first year she was indeed much more patient and easy going. Could this really have been due to him? Or was it just age? 

It will be essential for them to resolve any issues in the relationship as soon as any problems arise as if it is left unresolved resentment can build, and because both signs tend to favor isolation, they can completely isolate themselves from each other. They need to remember what made them fall in love with each other initially, and not focus on the negatives in the relationship. Each of them can bring fulfillment to the other’s life, but they must keep their eye on the bigger picture, and not worry about frivolities.

Ron grinned, remembering the Crookshanks and Scabbers fiasco that had happened just last year. 

When a Virgo dates a Pisces, they will have an emotional depth and connection between them that only some dream to have. Virgo partners lack confidence in sexual matters, which they hide under their rational minds and cool, calm exterior. Pisces can also be shy during physical connections, and they will instantly dismiss the shyness of their partner through mutual understanding. Their sexual lives will be governed by their inherent need for a passionate relationship, which will be free from judgment and filled with love.

Ron decided he was not going to write that part down. He had looked at Hermione in a more sexual light admittedly when he had seen her developed body over the summer. He had never really thought how Hermione would be in bed, Hermione lacking confidence was something Ron never really saw, he always took her to be a rather confident girl, but this was admittedly only with school and facts. She never really mentioned her looks. And was he shy? He’d never been with a girl...however, the thought of approaching a girl did intimate him, so maybe he was shy. But passionate love? Ron laughed, he couldn't imagine making passionate love with Hermione... he was fourteen...he’d never even snogged a girl. But everything else was pretty bang on.... could it be? Him and Hermione? 

He looked up to take a peak at her...she looked rather cute when she was focused...wait what was he thinking? The astrology was affecting him... This wasn't his true thoughts, or was it? Could Hermione truly be the one for him...And even if she was, was he the one for her? Why had he decided to take Divination.

Hermione was right, Divination was a bunch of nonsense. 

Him and Hermione compatible, as if. 

(FUN FACT THAT ASTROLOGY READING WAS STRAIGHT UP TAKEN FROM AN ASTROLOGY WEBSITE I DIDNT MAKE IT UP MYSELF LOL) 

[codevassie]

i've got a request! prinxiety fantasy au. roman became a prince after making a deal with a magical creature (that can be a side but also can remain unnamed, whatever works for you). the deal was: roman would become prince but in exchange, the creature would take his true love when roman would meet them. so roman was always careful not to fall in love with anyone. that worked until he met virgil. aaand i leave the rest up to you! i hope this makes sense lol

CV: Sorry it’s so long and also not long enough and also really late. Thank you so much for your patience! My mind would not stop coming up with ideas for this fic but I wrangled it in enough to get this out. Hope you like it, An!

CW: Weapons, Trauma, Injury [Edit: Angst, Unhappy Ending]

On Ao3 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Prince Roman was kind and fair to all who knew him. It was uncanny to his citizens how Disney their prince was. He glowed in all ways–always smiling, exceedingly handsome, eyes gleaming with pride. 

He was also a bachelor, sworn to it almost like a monk. He loved to flirt and would dance with many a handsome man; Roman was no stranger to romance and collected kisses like precious stones. He was not one for staying with one person, sweetly turning down those who came back, wanted more. There was guilt in his eyes, but the prince never wavered.

He was determined to rule on his own, with only advisors to lean on and citizens to give his love. This was something that had never happened before, but their kingdom had also never had a prince like Roman before.

Since the day their prince had been crowned heir to the throne by the childless king and queen, things had been very different in their kingdom. Royalty did not have to be blood, and a king did not need a queen, or any spouse at all. 

Roman did not want to marry. And no one would have batted an eye at this–but the prince did not seem to want anything at all. Full of love, he had no one to give it. Friendly, but lacked friends. It was a constant source of gossip around the castle–why their beloved prince insisted on being alone.

But the prince knew what he was doing. Roman knew well the dangers of growing close to others.

He didn’t regret the decision he made. As prince, he could make a difference; he had somewhere he belonged. A mother and father who cared. Citizens he adored, and adored him in turn. People to care for, to fight for. Roman now had more than he ever hoped in his once hopeless life.

Most importantly, Roman had his brother back. That was worth more than anything Roman could have gained or given. Worth more than his very life.

So, no. He didn’t regret it. If he had the choice, he’d always go back and face those wild eyes, those scales and wicked lies for the chance to have this.

Whoever he’d meant to love one day would have to find someone else.

-/-

“How are you today, Remus?“ 

Remus hummed. Roman knew that translated to ‘not very well.’

“Okay,” he said calmly. He moved over into the brightly lit room to where his brother sat at the window. Roman sat across from Remus and said nothing else. Today wasn’t a talking day.

So Roman sat and let his nerves calm, his mind wander like his brother’s must have been. He couldn’t imagine what sort of things Remus saw–flashbacks from the hills and the caves and the fear. Roman grew restless, and he couldn’t imagine how Remus did it for days on end, jolted into another reality that existed in his head, in the past.

He passed a lot of his days like this, sitting quietly by his brother’s side. Probably not enough though. Never enough to help. But it was hard to balance his time now that he was prince, always something more to do, something he could do to help, to plan, to sign, to consider. It was a lot.

But at least they weren’t terrified every day would be their last.

At least Remus was with him again, safe. 

“I miss Dee,” Remus surprised Roman by speaking up. Roman looked over, but his brother hadn’t moved. His gaze was towards the hills.

There was nothing Roman could say to that. He stood reluctantly, taking a glance towards the horizon himself, before stepping back. “Sorry I can’t stay very long today.” It had only been twenty minutes Roman noted by the clock on the mantle, but Remus didn’t seem phased. “I’ll come eat dinner with you tonight, though,” Roman offered. Still, nothing. “Alright. Bye, Remus.”

Roman stepped out, careful to not make any loud noises as he shut the door. Days like this were the reason Remus’ room was far away from the hustle and bustle of the castle. The noise was too much for him. There were still plenty of people around to attend to him though, to make sure he didn’t get up to too much trouble during the times he was lucid.

That didn’t stop Roman from stepping away and quietly knocking his head on the opposite wall. Forehead supporting him, Roman sighed, trying to piece himself back together. Once he had built himself up, able to give a winning smile and a confident gait, Roman picked himself up and squared his shoulders.

A prince had very little time to spare already, and he had used what he had to visit with his brother.

Winding through the halls, Roman made his way back to the front study, where his advisor and a handful of guards waited. When he opened the doors, he shot them all his winning smile. “Are we all ready?”

It took them no time at all to get to town, then just a little further to the square, which was under construction. It was a smaller project, but one that Roman loved: a park, with room for community gardening, a playground with outdoor instruments, a couple pieces of exercise equipment, and a small stage for community theater. 

It was important to him, but it was something he rarely had the time to see into fruition. There was more pressing matters in the kingdom that Roman had to oversee.: discussions to meditate, economic policies to study, corruption to dig into. When Roman became a prince, he’d known it would be a tough job, but he had never expected what seemed like such a nice kingdom on the outside to have so much else on the inside.

It was exhausting, but this park was where Roman hoped to make a positive influence. He barely had the time for it, but he made the time for it. It was usually what kept him awake at night in his office, going over budgets and blueprints.

He hadn’t been to the site for a month.

When the carriage pulled up, Roman jumped out, guards already on his tail. He didn’t wait for them, though, striding straight towards the ring of architects and construction crew at one side. A quick glance around told Roman they were making decent headway on the tiny amphitheater. 

Looking back, he took stock in what he would be dealing with. The kind architect was there, so he’d have to do his best to steer clear. Roman was a sucker for nice guys. The smart one was there too. Damn it; double the threat. 

“Hello, Shelby, Logan, David, Patton, Christie,” he greeted the ones he knew by name. “How is everything going?”

Shelby, the team leader, stepped forward, giving a kind smile. “Moving forward at a considerable pace, my prince,” she said, and, from there, they dived in. The architects pointed to blueprints and talked about estimated times for finishing different aspects, as well as possible obstacles and needed materials. They talked for half an hour before they were talking in circles again, and Roman knew he needed to draw a line and make a retreat.

“It sounds like you all are doing splendidly and have things well under control. I would say continue forward with how you’re doing. I trust you to make the right calls.” His smile was wide, and he was beginning to feel the line of business and friendly failing. 

All Roman wanted to do was share jokes with Patton. Listen to Logan tell him about the book he was reading. Even hear about Shelby’s family–though she was hardly a threat to the curse inside Roman. Still, Roman felt wrong for staying around, for getting near anyone with the danger he posed.

Roman needed to get somewhere safe. He needed just a breath of fresh air–somewhere without pretense, where he wasn’t constantly tottling between unnecessary rudeness and letting his traitorous heart do what it does and fall far too quickly.

He had always fallen fast and hard, always one for all or nothing. Never at a mere glance, no. He may be a romantic, but love at first sight simply wasn’t real. Deep longing at first sight was something Roman was prone to, though.

But Roman was careful. Never would he let an innocent soul pay for his deeds. If the price he had to pay was his love, then he would simply never fall in love. 

And, since love at first sight wasn’t a thing, Roman could simply stay away from anyone he might have liked. If Logan’s smart words made him blush, if Patton’s puns made him giggle-

Off Roman went. If he didn’t stay around them, he couldn’t fall in love with them. Easy enough.

That may have been a reason Roman rarely made his way to the park construction or spent too much time at any of his projects. He cycled through advisors. He exchanged polite greetings with guards and nothing else. He was an amiable prince, who reached out to his citizens, but he couldn’t afford to be too friendly, to get attached.

He knew he could be better. Without this fear, he could be so much better. He’d be friends with everyone he knew, not acquaintances. He’d be a personal ruler, not a distant one. 

He couldn’t risk the lives of his citizens though.

So, at the nearest chance, Roman ducked away. The others invited him to coffee, but he declined. 

Instead, he went somewhere he’d normally never go. He marched into the library, waltzed straight up to the most infuriating person he knew.

Not even Roman was hopeless enough to fall for Virgil.

“My prince,” the librarian greeted lazily, not even standing from his slumped position across the desk. “What can I do for you today?“ 

He picked up a pen and scrawled across a paper, deigning to not even look Roman in the eye. Whatever pleasantness Roman had felt upon seeing a familiar, unexpectant face, soured at the blatant rudeness.

This callousness was what had sealed the deal for Roman in the first place though. The absolute zero percent chance that Roman could like, much less love, this man. Roman never thought he could hate one of his own citizens, but this guy… He was the worst. 

Roman could have never fallen in love with someone so… Virgil. So condescending and sarcastic and pessimistic. Virgil brought with him a stormy cloud of hatred everywhere he went. The mere thought of being around him was deplorable.

Which made him perfect.

“I just came to see your lovely face, my chemical woe-mance,” Roman said breezily. He had taken to maliciously flirting with the library assistant. It satisfied both his need to flirt with someone and his abhorrence of the man’s face.

And tone.

And personality.

And the way he pointed out every security detail his guards had missed by walking in there. 

And how he always pointed out the measures Roman was slow to take with his policies, and ones that he missed, redirecting Roman’s attention to needed areas. 

And when his hair fell in his eyes because, damn it, Roman wasn’t blind.

And when he laughed at something because he wasn’t horrible all the time and those were the times Roman panicked the most because shit did he mess up by letting himself talk to Virgil so much-

And his fashion sense was also horrible, so there.

But, of course, Roman was above such things. If the gloomy broody wanted to stoop, Roman would not-

“Forget how to say your own name again?” Virgil asked, and Roman stopped in his tracks, shooting him a confused look. “Hate to break it to you, but Roman doesn’t have a W.”

Roman’s face lit up red and he straightened faster than a cat struck by lightning. 

“I am your prince,” Roman said, hands curling into fists. The guards behind him didn’t react, however. By this point, they were all used to Roman and Virgil’s arguing. 

They thought it was ‘banter.’ Roman often reminded them it was a verbal battle of wits. They asked why he kept coming back.

He never answered that.

“I don’t need reminding every time you’re here, my prince,” Virgil rolled his eyes. It was ironic how the honorific fit in his mouth, like a bad taste. 

“Don’t call me that,” Roman snapped. Virgil raised a brow.

“What do you expect me to call you then?” he asked. “Your excellency? Your highness? General pain in my ass?”

“You make all of those sound like ‘general pain in my ass.’” Roman shot back with fire. 

“Then what?” Virgil crossed his arms.

Roman spoke without thinking. “My name.”

One of the guards coughed behind him. Virgil looked stunned.

“You want me to call you…” he said, and all anger had dissipated. If Roman had known this was all it would take to knock Virgil off his high horse, he would have done it so much sooner.

“Yes,” Roman said, feeling awfully proud of himself. “Call me Roman.”

Another cough behind him. What was it with the guards today? He hoped no one was coming down with anything.

“Roman?” Virgil asked, and it was said quickly, like he was still shocked at everything going on. This, however, is where Roman realized his mistake.

His name on Virgil’s tongue did not, in fact, sound like ‘general pain in my ass.‘ 

His name sounded….

Softer.

Sweeter.

Like a melody he’d never heard,

And one he’d kill to hear again.

Roman was suddenly hit with a sadness so unmistakable it was as if it had always lived in him. Something that felt lonely, something that felt like… goodbye.

Goodbye to this. Goodbye to the only person he had left that saw him as something that wasn’t a prince, or a stranger.

Oh gods, not Virgil too.

Roman straightened up, clearing his throat suddenly. “Um, yes?” he said, voice coming out squeaky. He cleared it again. “I mean, yes. Yes. Of course. If you’re going to insist on butchering everything else…”

“Might as well butcher the real thing?” Virgil asked, and he finally broke out of his shock to snicker. Roman’s heart thumped.

Fuck.

“Yeah, well. I actually have to go now, but it was nice seeing you and-”

“Nice seeing me?” Virgil asked, thrown off guard by Roman’s sudden departure. Roman hadn’t been there five minutes, but he had to get out of there.

“As ever. Terrible to see you as always, hot topic, and, if you’d just excuse me-” Roman was backing away, making his way to the door. He assumed the guards would follow.

“Hot topic…” Virgil seemed to be asking, but Roman didn’t give an answer.

“See ya!” were his final words before he ducked out.

Roman paid no mind to the knowing glances his guards shared behind him as he rushed off to the carriage.

He could only think of the heart in his chest.

And the noose it could lasso around Virgil.

-/-

“It’s not Virgil, right?” Roman asked pacing around his brother’s room. “Anyone but Virgil, surely.”

Remus continued to look out the window, mind probably elsewhere.

“It wouldn’t be. Virgil is… Virgil.” Roman shook his head. “He’s Virgil.”

“Virgil?” Remus spoke up, but he didn’t look at Roman. Maybe he was present, just a bit.

Roman nodded, pacing again to the other side of the room. “I can’t see him again. That’s it. It’s too dangerous. Even if there’s absolutely no way I’d fall for that guy, I can’t risk it.”

Remus turned Roman’s way, eyes looking troubled. Roman’s mind was spinning out of control.

“But it couldn’t be Virgil. I wouldn’t fall for him. I can still talk to him. It’ll be fine, right?”

Roman paused, thinking through his words before groaning.

“Oh my gods, I want to talk to him!” he lamented, then sat down heavily on his brother’s bed. Remus continued to watch him, looking for all the world like there was a puzzle in front of him, very close to being solved. 

“Remus, what am I going to do?” Roman asked, covering his face. “I like Virgil.”

“Virgil,” Remus mumbled.

“I can’t ever see him again. This is the end. We were never even friends! He was the asshole in the library. That’s it. That’s all he’ll ever be. And, somehow, I like him. What the fuck, heart? What the actual fuck?”

“Virgil,” Remus repeated, brows furrowing. Something was there, but Roman was too distracted to consider it.

“Gosh, but I can see it now. He’s got the warmest brown eyes to go with his shit personality. He’s so sarcastic. He actually makes me laugh. How dare he?! How dare he make me like him and all his assholeness?”

Roman stood from the bed. One look Remus’ way and he immediately regretted everything. 

“Rem? What’s wrong?” he rushed to his brother, who had the most distressed look on his face, fingers sparking green. Roman folded his hands over them, not minding the slight sting. It was better than someone walking in and seeing the magic. “Remus?” Roman asked again, kneeling before his brother. 

Remus blinked. Looked down at his hands and frowned. “Sorry, Ro,” he said, then looked back at the window. Whatever he’d been thinking, it was gone. Roman couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him.

One second of lucidity and Roman was glad it was gone. What kind of brother was he? Watching Remus look out the window again, lost to everything but the hills past the kingdom, Roman felt a deep sinking loss in his chest.

But, with that look that’d been on Remus’ face… how could he not be relieved? 

He sighed again. Roman did that a lot in this room. He wished he could help it, for Remus’ sake.

But Remus probably didn’t hear it anyway.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” he breathed, words lost to his brother. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

Roman retracted his hands, absently noting the singe marks across his palms. He’d wear some gloves to cover them.

“Sorry,” he repeated. The word rang in his head, begging to be said again and again, until his sins were carried off with them, somewhere far away in the wind of those words. “Sorry.”

-/-

The next time Roman visited the park, he didn’t go to the library. However, it seemed he didn’t have to.

“Thank you so much, kiddo!” Roman absently heard from Patton as he scanned over some of the construction plans. “I can’t believe I forgot this.”

Roman heard one of his guards cough, stifling what sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Funny, they usually only did that when-

“No problem, Pat,” a deep, vaguely uncomfortable sounding voice replied, and Roman shot straight up. There was another noise that was definitely a laugh this time, but he didn’t pay mind to it. His eyes shot to the interaction happening not five feet from him.

Virgil.

He was standing a bit slouched, hands stuffed into his pockets and nodding along to Patton’s excited gibbering. It was sort of adorable, how patient Virgil was, the way he hid his smile when Patton punned, how out of place he seemed to feel, but comfortable around his friend.

Roman hadn’t known Virgil and Patton were friends. That was adorable.

Okay, Roman should really stop thinking of Virgil as adorable. Soon. Now.

But his eyeshadow was slightly smudged–probably from wiping it on accident–and that was adorable too.

No. Stopping now.

Roman dipped his head back down, boring his eyes into the blueprints. He absorbed none of it, but he acted the part like a champ. Looking busy sure came handy when a prince wanted to avoid people. You couldn’t argue that a prince wasn’t doing important work.

Well, perhaps a lesser prince. But everyone knew how seriously Roman took his job (whether he lived up to expectation or not. Virgil saw past that. Virgil pointed out exactly where Roman lacked…. but he also commented on the good things too. He’d said how much safer it was to walk home lately–how the children were excited about the park–how some patrons of the library complained about the tax increases, but Virgil argued with them about the necessities of the kingdom; all the community works, roads paved, safety measures).

“Ro?” Patton asked, and, even if it weren’t for his voice and bubbly nature, Roman would have known it was him. Patton was the only one on the construction crew that had taken him up on his offer to not use ‘my prince’ every time they referred to him.

“Hm?” Roman asked, pretending to be busy. He saw Patton from the corner of his eye, dragging another person by his side–no doubt Virgil. Roman swallowed harshly.

“This is my friend Virgil. Sorry to interrupt work and all, but I try to introduce him to everyone around here. He doesn’t get around too often and-”

“Pat!” Virgil hissed beside him, and Roman couldn’t help it. He looked up.

And they locked eyes.

Virgil’s cheeks were a dull pink, furiously trying to escape the bounds of the pale foundation he’d applied. For a moment, they were suspended there, Virgil and Roman just looking at each other.

Then, Virgil looked away. “Patton, you can’t just drag me around everywhere.”

Patton, the dear, had the good grace to look sheepish. “I just thought you’d want to meet the prince is all.”

“We’ve already met,” Roman said, against the wishes of his panicked nerves. It felt like something he wanted to keep for himself, something he could hold secret and close to his chest. He forced the words out though. Surely there was no valid reason to keep it secret.

Virgil flinched as Patton whipped around to face him. “Really?!”

He shifted a bit on his feet, and Roman noticed how considerably less confident he was outside the library. Maybe it was the new space, or the unknown gazes, but it worried Roman how much smaller Virgil appeared outside his familiar walls.

While Patton excitedly talked to Virgil about this new development, Roman was able to take a second to himself. It was Roman’s first time around him knowing how he felt about Virgil–without the panic of last time, mind spinning with Do I like him? Do I like him? Do I like him? Roman could examine those feelings up close here, scrutinizing them for what they were. He definitely liked Virgil, that much was definite by then, but how much? Roman fell quickly, but, as long as he was even still a bit afloat, it was fine. Virgil was safe.

And Roman understood with relief that this was indeed the case. He wasn’t in love with Virgil. It was still frightening how easily he’d fallen in deep like with the man, but Roman could remedy the situation. It just… took a bit of… severing of their relationship. Just a dash of distancing, a pinch of avoidance and rigid politeness. 

It was less than a minute that Roman had to think on this, Patton and Virgil’s conversation ending abruptly when Virgil started to get visibly overwhelmed. That worried Roman too, but it only seemed to embarrass Virgil.

“Virge? Buddy?” Patton asked, but Virgil’s red face shook back and forth.

“It’s fine, Pat. Let’s just moveonrightnow,” Virgil spoke without a lot of breath, words coming out quick. He was different outside the library, like he was constantly afraid of… something. He was jumpy, and Roman was sure that if someone were to sneak up on him right now, purposefully or not, they would be socked in the jaw.

“Yes,” Roman spoke up, seeing his opportunity. “I’m afraid I’ve actually ran out of time here, but we got a lot done here today. Great job, all of you.”

“You’re leaving?” Patton asked, looking disappointed. 

And Roman realized what he’d tried to avoid for so long. Patton was cute. He was funny and kind and made Roman feel like the world had light. But Roman really had nothing to be scared of. He looked at Logan too, clever and full of passion for his work and interests, and thought the same. He’d been avoiding all the wrong people��people who could’ve been his friends.

So to Patton Roman gave a sad smile of his own. He gave his excuses–the many duties of a prince, how busy things have been lately, that he really should let them get back to work instead of hovering over their shoulders so often–he was just a prince, after all.

It all paled to the real reason, nestled deep in his chest where he hoped no one would look, see his obvious lie.

Roman couldn’t be near Virgil.

Too risky.

-/-

The thing with falling for someone–it doesn’t stop when you don’t see them.

What was the saying? Distance makes the heart grow fonder?

That saying existed because days without those you’re infatuated with just make you think about them more. And Roman, the chronic dreamer he was, could not stop thinking about Virgil. He dreamed in his sleep about pushing the hair from Virgil’s face, curling it around his ears and leaning down for a gentle kiss. He day-dreamed about Virgil in his library, slouched over his desk, waiting for patrons and passing the day in boredom.

Roman thought of his snarky quips, eyerolls, insistent gestures when he was trying to tell Roman something. Those milliseconds of a softer look that Roman would ignore, trying to convince himself he loathed Virgil, so he wouldn’t have to go away.

He realized now how too late it was.

Virgil’s laugh was stuck in his ears–Virgil’s nervous voice outside the library–Virgil’s stories of friends he’d never see again, growing up in a distant place. 

And Roman hadn’t realized how much of himself he’d given as well. Virgil had been an ear to Roman’s rants, a backboard to spring off horrible ideas. Virgil could be ruthless, and Roman could be idyllic, but, somewhere in there, it actually worked. He’d told Virgil about spreading himself thin, about the demands of a prince he hadn’t expected when the king and queen had adopted him. He told him about how much he cared, cared so much, about the people of this kingdom, even while he’d only been there for three years himself. 

There was so much, now that Roman considered it. And still so much he wanted to share. He’d never told Virgil about his brother–no one knew about Remus. He wasn’t fit to be in the public eye. That much scrutiny and pressure, after everything he’d been through, would destroy him.

But he found himself wanting to tell Virgil. Found that he trusted him with the information.

And he wanted to tell Virgil about where he and his brother grew up, about the night he woke up and Remus wasn’t by his side, and it took two years of searching and loneliness to find him and save him. Roman wanted to tell Virgil his favorite color was red, that his favorite stories as a kid were about knights, not princes, that he spent his free time–or what freetime he used to have–writing poetry, and he had a secret love for theater that he’d never had the opportunity to explore. 

Roman felt his heart pulling pulling pulling. It wouldn’t rest, wouldn’t relinquish the hold it had over him, would not forget him- him- 

Virgil. 

His heart was a selfish thing. It stuck like glue to those who didn’t want it. It kept its love in a cage, never to let go.

But Roman had to stop thinking of him. It would only lead to heartbreak. It would only lead to Virgil’s doom.

That should make it easier on his heart–knowing the person it longed for was at risk for its choice–but nothing did sway it. It was up to Roman to wrangle it in, suppress, push it down down down.

A sound at the door of his office snapped Roman out of his thoughts–spiralling, an hourly occurrence at this rate, sending him straight to a world far away, spinning in purple irises. The door creaked open, and there stood an odd sight.

“Remus?” Roman asked, concerned. He was already standing, walking around the desk and across the room. “Is everything alright? Why are you on this side of the castle?”

Remus was very far from his room, and the castle was pretty confusing. It was a surprise his brother had found him at all.

“Virgil,” was all Remus said, like it held all the answers he’d ever been looking for. Roman paused, eyebrows furrowing.

“What about him?”

“It’s him.”

“What?” Roman asked, and Remus reached out, grabbed his hand. Before he knew it, Roman was being pulled along. Remus was leading them down the corridor, looking more sure of himself than Roman had seen since they were kids. “Remus, what are you doing? Where are we going?”

Remus didn’t answer him. In fact, Roman was thrown into even more confusion when he was steered into a random room at the end of the corridor, his brother huffing as he shut the door behind them. “Walking takes too long,” he seemed to be realizing. His hand was glowing and, when he reached out for Roman again, it was a blink of an eye before they were standing somewhere completely new.

“Remus, what the hell?” Roman asked, retracting his hand. “You shouldn’t use your magic like that! Anyone could see you.”

But Remus wasn’t listening. Was he ever? Instead, he was looking around. “Not where I would have picked.” He was sounding… like himself. Roman stared, wide-eyed. If he wasn’t so confused, he’d be elated. He’d long since thought getting his brother back to any normalcy–or whatever was normalcy for Remus–was impossible. 

“Who’s there?” a voice interrupted his thoughts, carrying across the library stacks. Roman recognized it and cursed internally. Why had Remus taken them there?

Slowly, Roman put up his hands and crept out of the small alcove Remus had taken them to, ready to come up with an explanation for their sudden appearance on the fly. “Do not be afraid,” Roman said, as any prince would. He stood in the open and found Virgil’s gaze. All Virgil had to protect him were his own fists–not the best tactic, Roman thought. Then again, it was only the other day that Roman had been afraid Virgil would sock the nearest person.

Still, just his fists didn’t seem like a great defense against swords or knives or any number of weapons a burglar could have. There was a pang in Roman’s heart as he thought of what might have happened if it wasn’t just him and Remus in there. Virgil would have been defenseless.

As realization dawned on Virgil’s face, they stood at a stand still, both almost afraid to move. When Virgil’s eyes drifted to his raised fists–loose, not really fists at all, who had taught Virgil to fight?–he dropped them like hot coals, stuffing them in his pockets. 

“Fuck, Roman, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” Virgil said, and Roman knew he shouldn’t be focusing on this–but Virgil had said his name again, and his heart was singing.

“My dearest apologies,” Roman bowed, and, going by the weirded out look on Virgil’s face, that was not of norm between them. He supposed they had never been quite civil with each other–even at the beginning. “I wanted to show my brother the library and you weren’t at the front desk, so we just came in.”

“I’ve been at the front desk this whole time,” Virgil said, not defensive, but confused. Well, at least Virgil wasn’t in a bad mood.

“Funny. We didn’t see you.”

“Wait wait wait,” Virgil said, backing up a second. “You said brother?”

Shit.

Looked like Roman would have to explain that sooner than he’d thought. Or, really, at all. Wanting to tell Virgil and telling him had been on two separate lists entirely. Roman wasn’t actually supposed to be talking to Virgil at all. 

“Okay, so-” Roman went to start, but he was caught off by a twin set of gasps, one shortly after the other. The first had come from behind him, so that’s where he looked.

“It is you,” Remus said. Roman’s eyes widened, finally catching on to what his brother had been trying to tell him.

“Wait, do you know each other?”

“Remus?” Virgil’s reply answered that question well enough. Roman turned back to him, eyes darting between the two. Virgil sputtered, “What- How-”

“It’s too late,” Remus mumbled. It sounded a bit more like he had over the past year–less like himself, but his eyes were present; he looked to be considering something–something he didn’t seem to favor. “It was a trap.”

“A trap?” Roman asked. “What do you mean? A trap for who? Who’s trapping?”

“Remus, what the fuck? How are you here? How did you get away?” Virgil asked, walking closer, but not too close, like there was still a part of him that couldn’t believe what was in front of him. 

“Get away?” Roman said, pieces further slipping into place. He didn’t like where this was going.

“What about Dee?”

“Dee…” Roman mumbled, the name familiar in his ears. I miss Dee, Remus had said. I miss Dee I miss Dee I miss Dee…

“It’s too late,” Remus repeated. “Of course it was you.”

Then, the room erupted into chaos.

-/-

Books flew, shelves rocked, windows clattered. From the corners of his eyes, Roman could see flashes of purple and green. Past the wind in his ears, he heard vague shouts from Virgil and a round of fuckfuckfuckfuckfucks from Remus. He couldn’t recall if he was saying anything himself, but he knew what he was feeling. Scared.

Roman had no idea what was happening, but, from the flashes of light, he deduced it must have been magic. This made him turn toward his brother, suddenly scared that all of this had gotten to him. Being outside the castle, some place unfamiliar, not to mention Remus had always been kind of a loose cannon with his magic–it could have caused Remus to panic.

But one look at him and Roman knew his brother wasn’t the one doing it. He turned to Virgil, remembering what he’d been saying, how he’d known Remus, how he’d raised his hands in a stance that made no sense in traditional fighting–but, with magic?

Purple sparks flew across Virgil’s skin, like they were doing on Remus too, but his eyes weren’t aglow. He wasn’t doing it either.

What was happening?

Then, abruptly, it stopped.

Shelves balanced back to their places and books dropped to the floor, lifeless. It was all they could do to just stand there before movement caught Roman’s eye at the top of one of the shelves.

Someone sat there, legs folded elegantly over one another where they balanced precariously. Roman recognized the one glowing eye peering down at them, the scaly hands, the knowing smirk.

“What a lovely reunion,” she purred. Roman was stricken, fear clenching his gut. Instinctively, however, he stepped forward in front of Remus and Virgil. He watched as her eyes traveled over each of them, finally landing behind Roman’s left shoulder, lips curling further into her face. “I was hoping it would be you.”

“How- How did you-” Virgil stuttered, but his voice died out. Roman narrowed his eyes, something protective overpowering his fear.

“You should not be here,” Roman stated. 

“But, my prince,” she said, “We made a deal.”

“A deal that hasn’t come to fruition,” he said. 

“I see someone’s still in denial,” the woman leered. “A witch’s curse knows all, though. You can’t scam the Dragon Witch of her hoard, my prince.” The way she said ‘my prince’ infuriated him, but nothing like Virgil’s had. The Dragon Witch said it like it was nothing, like it was delectable and sweet and hers to keep. 

“What is she talking about?” Virgil asked, and Roman turned. Instead of scared, he now looked confused. He was watching the two of them, apprehensive, but ready to fight. His hands were up again in those loose fists, purple sparking off of them. Magic. Virgil had magic. “You made a deal with the witch?”

“Not that he had much choice.” The witch shrugged. It seemed casual, despite the manic glee in her eyes. “I was going to kill him and keep Remus. But he wanted his brother, and he got to be prince of a kingdom! Fair trade, if you ask me.”

“It’s not fair,” Remus said, and the witch seemed to remember he was there. “You can’t take him-”

“Shut up, Remus,” she said offhandedly and Remus flinched. Rage filled Roman, and he stomped further toward the witch.

“Don’t you dare-”

“Don’t I dare what, sweetie?” she asked, folding her legs up onto the bookshelf with her, where Roman couldn’t reach. He was ready to topple the whole shelf when her words caught him. “I’m only here for what I’m due. I was hoping you’d choose Virgil.”

“What?” he asked, and his voice echoed. He turned around and saw Virgil’s ghostly face, mouth open, having spoken at the same time.

“There’s so many possibilities, you know,” she said and sighed like she was bored. “There’s some realities where you fall for the architects, but there were quite a few where we’d end up here and that was certainly a risk I was willing to take. So glad it paid off.”

“But I’m not-” Roman protested, and when he was cut off again he felt ready to pull his sword. It would do nothing against her magic–something he knew well–but she was really getting to him.

“Not in love? Please,” the Dragon Witch scoffed. “It’s not my problem you haven’t realized it yet.”

“Wait!” a voice suddenly tore through their conversation, and Roman looked back at Virgil, something tightening his gut. Virgil looked simultaneously angry and afraid and lost. “Hold on for a second. What the fuck is going on?”

With a grace that shouldn’t have belonged to someone so wicked, the witch floated down from the bookshelf, jumping right over Roman and landing in front of Virgil. Virgil seemed to have masked everything in those few seconds, standing defiant and tall before the woman. It mystified Roman. It was nothing he had ever seen before–nothing like Virgil’s comfortable confidence in the library. Virgil lowered his hands, appearing defenseless and unafraid under her manic gaze. 

“Long story,” she said, tossing her head side to side. “But I’ll tell you the ending if you want. My little happily ever after… minus dear Remus over there. I’d rather have all three of you but Remus turned weak. This. This was the outcome I was betting on.”

She leaned in, centimeters from Virgil’s face and anyone else might have missed the minute flinch in the man’s body, but Roman saw–tuned into it. Virgil’s eyes were hard. He said nothing.

Even as he was sentenced to his doom–to a doom brought to him because of Roman–because of a heart he couldn’t control–because Roman had signed away another’s life–a life that wasn’t Roman’s to give–a life Roman hadn’t yet met–that he was destined to love and hate and damn forever.

And it’d been a trap.

“Virgil, my long lost terror, you belong to me again. The End.”

[pluviophile-bookworm]

For the book ask: 5, 23 & 26 💜

Thanks for the ask Jessi!

5. Is there a book you own but aren't planning on reading?

Ok I'm going to be honest but don't @ me about it: 1984 by George Orwell. I was supposed to read it for my Modernist lit module back in first year of uni and so I bought a copy, but before I could get to it I happened to get intel on its contents (because I rarely read/ watch anything without spoiling it for myself to some degree - don't @ me about this either, I'm easily triggered by a whole bunch of stuff) and so I decided that the course wasn't worth the trauma and I just never picked the book back up. I don't think I ever will.

23. Do you prefer borrowing books from friends, borrowing books from a library, or buying them?

Now that's an easy question - definitely buying them. I like to own the books I read for several reasons: first, I can tab and annotate them all I want; second, when I read a book, a piece of it remains in my soul and a piece of my soul remains in it (I never mean for this to sound like horcruxes and it always does lol), and how would you feel about having to let go of that piece of your soul? So yeah, I never borrow from friends (literally never have), and I used to borrow from the library but never really liked the returning part, so I just don't use libraries anymore.

26. What’s your favourite book?

Now this changes every time I read a book, so however many times I am asked this question, I'll probably give different answers every time. I can't actually think of one right now, so let me have a look at the books I've read this year so far...

I guess I'll go with Britt Marie Was Here by Fredrik Backman. I actually read this quite a while ago, but I remember being just so shaken up by it. And isn't that exactly the purpose of a good book - to take you out of your own reality, shake you to the core and then leave you a slightly different person? Idk, Mr Backman seems to always do that to me. I'm so fascinated by how he can write such completely different protagonists in every book and write them in a way that makes you believe he's been in each of their shoes. Sometimes his subject matters trigger me, but not in a way that makes me want to never touch his books again; on the contrary, his writing is so authentic, so human that it makes me want to read on... Ok, I went off on a slight tangent there. Guess I did answer the question, so it's time to stop spouting off now.

All that being said, I'm still not quite out of my reading slump, so please send some more book asks! (Not you, Jessi, you've done quite enough - unless, of course, you want to send more asks, in which case you know what to do <33)

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Today’s my birthday and I was wondering how the ros would celebrate mcs birthday! (Sorry if you’ve already answered this question, I didn’t see it while looking through your blog lol)

Happy Birthday! I hope this makes the day a little more special haha. Let’s see...

E: They jump out in surprise when you flick on the lights out your room. They’re wearing their Sunday best, and you notice your small desk has been moves to the center of the room with two chairs on either side. Candles flicker in the center, while your favorite food has been prepared. E gives you a slightly abashed smile, “Happy birthday! Hurry and close the door.”

R: You find them leaning on your desk, running a small piece of fine sandpaper over a rock in their hand. They throw you a wry smile, “It’s been a while since I actually practiced this, so don’t give too harsh a critique.” They offer you a small, smooth stone shaped in the form of a detailed boat. “Happy Birthday, Captain.”

L: They stand idly in the center of your room, muttering to themselves before you inevitably enter, at while they snap into attention and give you a stiff, nervous bow, “H-Happy birthday! Please pardon the intrusion, your sibling told me this is the most appropriate style of celebration in Triaina...Oh! Yes! The gift! I...” They look around for a small moment before finding a small wrapped package, “I-It’s fairly old. I had them send it from my personal library...” You open it to find a book, the cover worn and faded, yet still delicately maintained.

V: They stand in the center of your room with their hands behind their back in a perfunctory stance. Their gray eyes stare into yours with a solid intensity as they pull a thin chain out of their jacket. Two thin dog tags are attached, clacking together from V's revealing motion. The front tag holds a single black decal with a star beside it, while the tag behind it has small, scratchy text etched into the metal. "Vestia holds a national ranking assignment once a year. I entered for you." They step forward and place the necklace in your hand, keeping their hand in contact with yours for several seconds before halting the exchange. "Commander, this is important. Keep this safe."

P: You received the call to come to Exul's dorm early on in the morning. When you open the door, a sweet smell immediately greets you. You discover a small cake sitting on the lobby room table, while P taps their foot in annoyance. "What took you so long, dumbass? There's ten steps between our dorms." They cross their arms and nod their head towards the cake, "Whatever. E told me it was your birthday, and well, I didn't have anything better to do so…" They clear their throat as a subtle redness begins appearing in their face, "Don't just stand there. It took me all ni— I mean, it didn't really take me that long."

M: You stand outside M's room, having followed the directions they sent to you by text. Knocking, you hear a faint voice calling for you to come in. The room is barren, with not a soul in sight. A side door to the bathroom opens where M steps out, thin streaks of water running down the bare body they showcase casually as their lips part in small amusement, "I…forgot to take…my clothes…" Running a hand through their wet hair to move the bangs out of their salaciously shining eyes, they saunter closer with no regard to the trail of water they leave on the floor. "Or…you can…give me yours…"

Ra: You open the door to your room, finding the decor completely changed. White tapestries flutter over your windows while your desk and bed have been moved to make way for a makeshift stage and red carpet trailing from it to the door you stand at. Raven throws a handful of deep crimson petals into the air between you as they wear an ecstatic smile and enthusiastically announce, "Let's get mar—" You shut the door hastily. This might be a bit too soon. Haha.

S: They sit on top of your desk, using your chair as a makeshift footrest that they tip idly with their heel. When you enter, they quickly hop down and approach you. They seem particularly cleaned up today, without a mark of oil on them as they begin talking idly, "Ya got a birthday today, yeah? I hope ya like surprises! Check this out!" They move over to your light switch, where you notice there's now a secondary switch that wasn't there before. Flicking it, they wear a considerably large smile on their face as your glass desk launches itself out of your window with explosive force, creating a splintering display of shattered transparency reminiscent of reflective snow. Their smile immediately fades. "That…uh…ain't supposed to happen…"

F: You find them lounging on your desk chair, idly rotating a wine glass in their hand. Their voice is particularly delicate as they prepare another glass and offer it to you. "I suppose there are special occasions to provide exceptions. Drink well, as the aging process makes this a particularly rare variation. You happened to luck out that I should choose to open it today." They take a small sip, allowing the smooth liquid to pass listless lips as they stare off. An enjoyable silence passes between you, although they never explain why they were in your room to begin with and when they make their exit they leave the expensive bottle of wine behind.

Thank ya for the ask. Hope ya enjoy! :)

[quicksilverlightning]

Number One In Our Hearts

It starts innocuously enough, with All Might being invited to run the yearly Quirkless course on Quirk Warrior.

“It’s been a rough course this year folks – only six runners have made it all the way through, but we’ve got one last contestant to go.”

“That’s right, Ken, and it’s the one you’ve all been waiting for. This year’s Quirkless Run has pulled out all the stops – the jump hang is longer, the wall is higher, and it’s all for this one last runner. Ladies and gentlemen, the one, the only, the legend, All Might!”

___________________________________________

 cinnadust

My favorite thing about All Might running the QLC is that he doesn’t run at all. He strolls through like he’s fucking bored.

 Staples083

his wingspan is enormous

 pipe-fingers

Petition for All Might to run the Quirk course #NumberOneInOurHearts

 GangOrg4n

look at him wave at the audience he’s not even tring lol Absolute Legend

 Red-Phone-Wire

please someone make these announcers losing their shit into a meme

___________________________________________

All Might’s appearance rockets the ratings to unseen heights; the full video goes viral and has over a million views before the weekend is over. It isn’t long before the agency is fielding phone calls from the usual suspects – reporters, journalists, talk shows – but also from some more unusual places.

Toshinori lights up when PR brings him the first batch of requests and immediately agrees to do them all. The second flurry of requests comes before the cooking show segment is finished airing and the floodgates open. Every reality show and competition is clamoring for All Might to guest star.

___________________________________________

Quirky Kitchen makes it an hour-long special. The first half is dedicated to some old American favorites; he chats with the host and audience while slicing tomatoes with charming ease. The audience delights in his culinary prowess, gained over long years of bachelordom, and laughs at his silly anecdotes. Which makes the second half all the more surprising.

With the burden of secrecy lifted, Yagi Toshinori can finally see his way forward. All Might can no longer be a pillar, but, perhaps, Yagi Toshinori can be a support beam. While the live audience munches on potato chips hot from the fryer, Toshinori pulls a simple hardback chair from the set, seats himself, and opens up.

___________________________________________

“Cooking… it’s a lot like my Quirk – my strength is gone, but the reflexes, the training, all of that is still there. I can’t eat what I’m making anymore, but I still know how to make it. And I can still share it with all of you.”

___________________________________________

 explendative

holy shit

 out-of-batt

damn, look at him flipping burgers @9:32 this man is perfect??

 h0m3b0dyJJ

Okay, guys, my dad had a gastrectomy a few years before he died and it’s seriously no joke. My dad lost 63 pounds just a few months after his; it’s hard to keep anything down and you have to eat little meals all the time and there’s just so. much. food. that you can’t have anymore. He was taking like a billion supplements and vitamins just to manage everyday challenges. I can’t even imagine going through that on top of being an active Pro.

 its-ibuki

we must protect All Might at all costs

___________________________________________

He laughs when his students gather round, babbling about the dance show. He ruffles Ashido’s hair fondly.

“You don’t get to Number One without some fancy footwork! Take that to heart, my young students,” he nods sagely, managing to extract himself before he’s late to the staff meeting. He heads down the hall, but not before tossing one last piece of advice over his shoulder.

“And learn at least one social dance!”

___________________________________________

Honestly? I don’t like the hero rankings. I’d prefer they didn’t exist at all. How do you rank acts of heroism? Why is saving one life worth less than saving a hundred? You can’t quantify someone’s worth down to a data point. What’s a hundred lives to a parent that’s lost their only child?

- All Might discusses the ranking system on Hero Discourse

 12,086 notes

 LoreleiFae

another day, another reason to love All Might

 FlipFlapItsATrap

you know, I never really got the hype around All Might. Like, I understood he was number one and super strong and all that, but I never got all the fervor around him. I started to get it after Kamino, but it’s really little moments like these that make me understand why he was number one. why he’s still number one, no matter what the ranking says. #NumberOneInOurHearts

 07ohseven

@FlipFlapItsATrap: I’ve met All Might twice, both before and after Kamino (humblebrag, lol), and he really is just the nicest guy. He never treated anyone like they weren’t worth his time, from teenagers hunting autographs to little kids that wanted a hug. I ran into him again a few months ago at the Mustafu Library – he’d tucked himself away into a corner with a few books and we talked a little about what he was reading (a biography and a fantasy novel, if you were wondering). He asked me to call him Toshi and gave me some movie recommendations.

 07ohseven

@FlipFlapItsATrap: I got off topic there, but what I wanted to say was that you’re right – All Might wasn’t number one because he was a good hero. He was number one because he’s a good person. All Might made me feel safe, but Toshi made me feel comfortable, like talking to an old friend. I hope I get to meet him again one day. #NumberOneInOurHearts

  ___________________________________________

Kizumi Takada @0Window0Knight0

@AllMightOfficial how many people have you kissed?

All Might @AllMightOfficial

@0Window0Knight0 None.

All Might @AllMightOfficial

@0Window0Knight0 But, many, many people have kissed me.

  ___________________________________________

 Peony-crowned

Next time on Hero Theory – is All Might asexual?

 Superxxchar04

@peony-crowned: OTP – All Might X Justice

 Hkoin

@superxxchar04: All Might X A healthy mind body and soul in a long life filled with joy and laughter FTFY

___________________________________________

He’s carrying a stack of grading in one hand and nearly throws the entire pile in the air when Present Mic grabs him in the hallway, begging him to be on his show. After a few moments spent calming him down, Toshinori manages to gather that his guest for the night has had a last minute cancellation. He offers an easy smile and agrees to fill in.

He wasn’t expecting Hizashi to open the phone lines up for questions, but what kind of hero would he be if he couldn’t roll with the punches?

___________________________________________

 Am I on the air?

 That’s right, listener! You are live and you’ve got a question for us?

 Yeah! Well, for All Might. Big fan by the way, you’re the greatest.

 Thank you kindly, young man!

 Right, so I was wondering – do you make more from your hero work, or from merchandising rights? I’ll hang up and listen, if that’s okay?

 Perfectly fine, listener!

 I don’t – didn’t – make any money at all from my hero work. Any bounties have gone to victims or to charity, and I’ve never sent anyone a bill for helping at a natural disaster. Merchandising rights more than cover the agency overhead – I’m not even the highest paid individual at my own company.

___________________________________________

 TexasSmashMe

I’m sorry to inform the hero fandom that Stain was 100% correct – there is only one real hero, and his name is Yagi Toshinori.

___________________________________________

 drrdrrdrrdrr reblogged from nessalee

 [gif set]

 [First image description]

 A young All Might flies through the air, cape billowing like a banner

 [Second image description]

 Silver Age All Might holds up a collapsing bridge pillar with one arm while the other gives a thumbs up.

 [Third image description]

 Golden Age All Might overlooks the city from a skyscraper, bangs ruffling in the wind

 [Fourth image description]

 All Might stands tall, battered and bloody, a single fist raised into the air

 [Fifth image description]

 Yagi Toshinori bounces at the front of the course, posture relaxed, waiting for the starting bell

 [Sixth image description]

 A toddler yanks on Yagi Toshinori's bangs as he smiles indulgently

 [Seventh image description]

 Yagi Toshinori sitting in the bleachers at Yuuei, beaming proudly at the field where his students compete

 [Eighth image description]

 Yagi Toshinori stands, battered and bloody, face turned away, pointing into the distance

 A Hero for Eternity

All Might / Yagi Toshinori

36,875 notes

 CoraBakes

get u a man that can do both

 la-la-lo-li

The one with the kid is so cute <3 Yagi-san would be a great dad

 kainnn9056

pft look at him casually holding up a bridge with one arm hes so extra i love it.

___________________________________________

He's just leaving the school when PR messages him with the request from Hero Monthly magazine. It's usually the kind of thing he would sign off on without a second thought, but his eye lingers on a single word - photoshoot. This wouldn't be like answering questions about his gastrectomy online, or explaining his injury on a talk show - this would be actively showing off the wound that nearly killed him.

Toshinori never expected to retire; hell, he'd never expected to survive. He assumed he would die as he lived - being a hero - and take all his secrets with him. But now...

Now he thinks of young Midoriya with his scarred hand; of his friend Todoroki, who couldn't hide his burn if he wanted to. He thinks of Iida's older brother, learning to walk again. He remembers Best Jeanist may lose his own stomach in the near future and the scar under Aizawa's eye. He remembers hospital wards full of children with amputated body parts and prosthetic limbs and dreams of heroism. He remembers being twelve and Quirkless and thinks again of young Midoriya, to whom Quirkless may as well have been a synonym for disabled.

___________________________________________

 [Image set]

 [Cover image description]

 Yagi Toshinori sits in a crisp white button-up on an angled couch, legs stretched over the cushions, looking at the camera over his shoulder.

 [First image description]

 Yagi Toshinori adjusts a cuff-link, grinning wildly at something off camera, suit jacket flared in the wind.

 [Second image description]

 Yagi Toshinori sits on the edge of a bed, hands together between his open knees. His white shirt is unbuttoned, revealing a  skinny chest and hints of spiderwebbing red.

 [Third image description]

 Yagi Toshinori looks away from the camera shyly, one hand rubbing the back of his head. His scar is viciously red, stretching the full length of his torso before disappearing below the hem of the dark slacks clinging to his skinny hips.

108,792 notes

 vedran-oligarch

All Might looks like someone punched a hole through him and I'm still lusting over his fine ass hot DAMN

 i-am-a-blank-page

@vedran-oligarch: it's the eyes - they're always the same and they're always so intense

 vedran-oligarch

@i-am-a-blank-page: point, but those beautiful hipbones aren't hurting my lady-boner

 IrisEvergarden

I really, really love the last picture. His expression is so sweet and unsure and humanizing - the whole set is, but that one really does it for me <3

 paperclipped-wildflowers

his hair looks so soft

 IrisEvergarden

I just want to give this man a hug, he's so good and pure and brave

 ExpectingDelay

okay, but how how no one mentioned the interview part?!

 If I saved one person when I lost my stomach, it was worth it. If I brought one child home to their parents when I crushed my lungs, it was worth it. If my words have helped someone through a rough patch, if I inspired someone to do better, be better, it was all worth it. There are a great many regrets in my life, but helping others has never been one of them. There is nothing I wouldn’t break; no sacrifice that would make me hesitate.

 That's what heroism is - it's taking these hits so that no one else has to.

this man is incredible.

 flowwithit54

@ExpectingDelay: I'm fucking crying rn we don't deserve All Might OR Yagi Toshinori

___________________________________________

It's almost nine when Ishiyama finds him lazing on the teacher's lounge couch, idly scrolling through his own tag online. In the past few minutes alone, he's found post after post from individuals finding strength from last week's magazine shoot. A teenager with an arm mangled in a villain attack; an office worker embarrassed by needing a wheelchair; a boy with an annoying twitch thanks to an accident with his electricity Quirk. Thousands of messages of love and support, admiration and inspiration. It's almost enough to make him wonder why he'd been so worried about the inevitable. Ishiyama hands him a cup of tea.

"You look happy today, Yagi."

He closes the phone and takes the offered tea with a smile.

"Yeah. I guess I am."

[smallcowplant]

[ P A R T  T W O ]

my favorite thing is monsters (book one) by emil ferris 🧟‍♀️🔍🧛‍♀️

quick synopsis: adult (coming-of-age story from the perspective of a young girl, but definitely targeted at an older audience)/graphic novel. set in late 60′s chicago, the fictional graphic diary of ten year old karen reyes recounts her experiences as she tries to solve the murder of her beautiful and enigmatic upstairs neighbor, a holocaust survivor.

page count: 416

rating:★★★ (this is a hard rating for me...think 3.7-3.9....oscillating to a 4....4.2....I don’t know, man)

review: I keep doing this fun and cool thing where I buy a book without realizing it’s the first in an (unfinished) series, and then end up being cast woefully adrift by reality. that’s what I did with this one. purely based on the artwork alone, I can tell you that this book is a treat for the eyes. a lot is going on here, and there’s something so engrossing about being swept up into the chaotic pen strokes and colors. the story is an interesting one, and not entirely what you expect. the characters are all distinct and layered---really riveting people who feel near-painfully real. as the first book in a two (?) book series, it leaves off with the central (and now additional) mysteries unsolved---which leaves the reading experience feeling unfinished and kind of disjointed. I’m stuck in a bit of a confusing mid-zone with this one, where I truly....well, I can't say I enjoyed it, since this story is so much more than that? I was...fascinated? enveloped? I’ll be reading the next one, definitely.

one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus 🥜🚓📱

quick synopsis: young adult/contemporary mystery/suspense. five students walk into detention. only four make it out alive. who did it...and who is lying?

page count: 361

rating:★★★ (firm 3.7)

review: the breakfast club....but with murder? if you’re down for that, you’ll enjoy this book! it certainly kept my attention. and MAN was this a suspenseful and super stressful read. (if you need a book that’ll make you go “wow, I’m glad I’m not in high school anymore”, this is it lol!) there’s a bunch of really interesting character studies going on in this one, and it definitely lends to a tense and involving read. the only reason the rating isn’t any higher is just that certain elements of it didn’t work...entirely...for me. that doesn’t mean that they were bad...just not what I...wanted? there’s two more books in this series, and while I’m not anxious to get my hands on them, I’m fairly sure I would read them!

murder at morrington hall: a stella and lyndy mystery by clara mckenna 🐎🍵💏

quick synopsis: adult/historical mystery. 1905. stella kendrick, a lively and confident american heiress, is tricked into an arranged marriage by her coldly ambitious father. her groom-to-be is viscount “lyndy” lyndhurst, who is both roughish and financially strapped. despite this rough beginning, they find themselves oddly drawn to each other. could they actually be a good match? however, all courtship is set aside when the pair discover the vicar who was  to marry them----dead in the library. now they must work together to solve the crime and find the culprit.

page count: 304

rating: ★★

review: ugh, it pains me to say, as I thought I was signing myself up for a fun turn-of-the-century murder mystery/romance...but this was just...meh. a meh story. I feel like it had potential to be an enjoyable, soapy romp with a dash of sensuality...but it was none of those things? (basically, I wanted a self-indulgent and delicious slice of chocolate cake...but I ended up with a week-old raisin muffin.) it didn't help that I had some issues with certain things the writer included. in particular, I REALLY didn’t like the equating of fat = mean/ugly and the repeated use of the word “bulbous” to describe certain characters noses----I had to do a quick google search to see what the hell the author was talking about. still not sure if she was trying to imply that the characters had rhinophyma/rosacea or just that they had bigger, “ugly” noses, but neither is good lmao. whenever you put a “plain/regular-degular person” with a big nose up against your array of stock White People™ characters with thin noses and angular faces, AND make those “plain” characters play the “wow, I’m so ugly but these characters are so pretty oh woe is me” bullshit in their inner monologue, I’m dipping. I’ve collected my paycheck, clocked out, left the building. (your story is already about a bunch of rich, straight, white people in 1905...I’m already skeptical, don’t test me. jk, but also not.) I’m fairly sure this would have caused a decent amount of people to DNF this book, but I’m a stubborn little bitch, and if I paid actual money for the hardcover copy at goddamn Barnes and Noble, I’m reading it. this is all to say that....if I’m being thrown out of enjoying your soapy historical murder mystery to gripe about random shit, there’s a problem. other than that? carpet was described a lot, the twist was decent, the romance was okay (no smut---or anything even vaguely close to romantic/sexual tension---and the kisses were not described at all, so I have no clue if either of them do more than press their lips together while admiring each others pale necks, but whatever), and the setting was the most interesting thing about this book (a crumbling english estate in the countryside?? sign me tf up). I won’t be reading anything more in this series, but that cover is pretty cool isn’t it? (I don’t know that the vase had anything to do with the story I read, but it does look really neat.) sidenote: hate to be a smarmy asshole, as I know full well how much work goes into writing, and I’m in no way trying to shame the author...this book just didn’t do it for me.

wilder girls by rory power 🌳🦷🥀

quick synopsis: young adult/horror/mystery. on an isolated island off the coast of maine, raxter school for girls is under quarantine. a mysterious disease has wracked the island, leaving teachers dead, students twisted and changed, and the woods that surround it dangerous and wild. while the disease consumes the island, the girls wait---for help, for the cure that was promised to them. but when hetty’s best friend disappears, she must venture out of the safety of the school, past the gate that separates them from the woods---and what she finds will change everything.

page count: 363

rating: ★★★★★

review: powerful, blistering, and utterly terrifying. that’s what immediately comes to mind when thinking about this book. I read it in a breakneck pace, devouring the whole thing in a feverish five? hour haze. once it was over, I sat bleary-eyed, the air around me feeling different than before, my hands tense and my stomach jumping. “you were a good one.” I said softly, kissing the spine. so yeah, it’s good. it’s very good. heartbreaking and awful and shockingly beautiful. this one hurts. I felt this one in my bones, in my soul. read it.

lovely war by julie berry 🌷💥💞

quick synopsis: young adult (but the youngest character is 18...so I think this could comfortably slot into adult)/historical (with a touch of fantasy). the intersecting stories of hazel, james, aubrey, and colette: a classical pianist from london, a british would-be-architect-turned-soldier, a harlem-born ragtime genius in the u.s. army, and a belgian orphan with a gorgeous voice and a devastating past----told by the goddess aphrodite, who must spin the tale or face judgment on mount olympus.

page count: 468

rating: ★★★★★

review: do you know how many times I CRIED while reading this book? because I certainly don’t! I lost track, as there are simply too many painful and beautiful things contained in this book. heart-wrenching, sumptuous and intoxicating, vivid in the best and worst ways, sharp and soft at the same time. I met my boyfriend while he was still active-duty military, so the wartime/seperation themes hit me very personally....but even without that, this book is excellent. expertly weaving together mythology and history in one gripping piece of art, it left me with a wistful smile on my face and a faint ache in my heart. it’s good. very good.

we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson 🏡💀🐱

quick synopsis: young adult? adult? who knows!/mystery/horror. mary katherine blackwood is eighteen years old and lives with her sister constance. she has often thought that with any luck at all she would have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both of her hands are the same length, but she has had to be content with what she has. she dislikes washing herself, and dogs, and noise. she likes her sister constance, and richard plantagenet, and amanita phalloides, the death-cup mushroom. everyone else in her family is dead.

page count: 146

rating: ★★★★ (4.5/4.6!)

review: delightfully creepy and utterly odd, with a full cast of extremely unlikable characters and one of the strangest protagonists I’ve ever read. at NO TIME did I have any idea where the story was going, which lead to an completely bizarre (but fun!) reading experience. twilight-zonian/gothic...but better. very eager to read more of shirley jackson’s catalogue, because that lady sure knew how to weave a tale. very glad I read this one.

sadie by courtney summers 📻👥🎙

quick synopsis: young adult (mc is nineteen, and imo I feel like this slides into adult tbh)/contemporary/true crime. told from the alternating perspectives of nineteen-year-old sadie, who runs away from home to find her younger sister’s killer, and a true crime podcast exploring sadie’s disappearance.

page count: 308

rating: ★★★ 

review: sad, awful, raw. that’s this book, simultaneously bright red and angry and deep blue, sadness upon sadness. this book reminds me of every true crime documentary I’ve ever watched---how it wraps itself up in a depressingly soft way, all the emptiness left behind and everything forever-changed. gives me the same icky voyeuristic feeling consuming any true crime content always leaves with me---this peculiar feeling of peering in to others heartbreak, of their horrors. this is a hard book. it’s difficult and not easy to stomach---and it never lets up. know that before you go in. what you may expect/want is NOT what you’ll get. and that’s the trueness of this book. I have my own personal feelings regarding the story, thus the three star rating, but that’s on ME. this book is incredibly well-written and insanely gripping. I finished it the same night I started reading it. if you want a gritty, intense read set in the very bleak reality of our world, this is your book.

FEBRUARY

BOOKS READ: 14

PAGES READ: 4225

# OF 2020 BOOKS READ SO FAR: 17/50

in reflection: my goal for this month was to read ten books, and I did that ...plus four more! so I’m pretty proud of myself, lol! there were a lot of stellar reads this month, and I had so much fun discovering them all! definitely a TON of new favorites to add to my bookshelf! :^)

disclaimer: all fourteen of the books I read this month include/focus on potentially triggering content, although they do fluctuate on the scale of intensity and subject matter. my wrap-up reviews do not contain spoilers/a comprehensive list of potential triggers. I urge everyone to do their own research regarding the content of these books if you’re interested in reading them, and I’m always available for questions. my reviews are just that, reviews, and books that work for me may not work for you (and vice versa).

[mdwatchestv]

Everything I’m Going to Watch In May: AKA Time To Put On A New Shirt

Here we are again. Hope everyone is well. Are we making good food choices? Washing our clothes? Staying active?  Watching our quick bites? Lol I’m jk, you don’t need to be doing any of that. All you have to do is get through each day, in whatever way you see fit. Perhaps for you this includes binge-watching television. If so, welcome, you are among friends.

Even though it may appear to you all that I am perfect, I sadly must admit I am not. Two shows that I missed telling you about and have been hyped up to me:

Unorthodox (Netflix) - An ultra-Orthodox Jewish woman runs away from her arranged marriage, complications arise. Only four episodes! My mom is really pushing this one hard.

Normal People (Hulu) - Based on the Sally Rooney books that I guess I didn’t read. Secret romance! Only 30 minute eps! Don’t watch it with your mom!

Also PSA HBO MAX is launching this month! Here’s the run down:

- It’s all Warner Brothers properties (HBO, TBS, TNT, Cartoon Network, WB produced CW shows, etc) 

-Lord of the Rings, Friends, original content, etc

-If you already have HBO Now, you will be migrated over. 

- No, this is not necessary, but yes, it is happening.

Now here are some premieres: 

Friday, May 1st

Hollywood (Netflix) 

Ryan Murphy’s first miniseries for Netflix after his bajillion dollar deal with them about...you guessed it...the Golden Age of Hollywood. Yes this feels like a classic Ryan Murphy Trap, but who amongst us isn’t desperate for a distraction. What happens to be diverting for me personally is Darren Criss in that trim little vest. We are all just trying to cope. 

Into the Night (Netflix)

What if THE SUN started killing people?!? A timely reminder that it could always be worse: you could have to fly ceaselessly into the night on an airplane to escape a Death Sun. The Belgians made it so its only 6 episodes!

Friday, May 8th

Dead to Me Season 2 (Netflix)

A lot of people recommended this to me, did I watch it? No. But I trust them enough to pass that recommendation along. The circle of life.

Tuesday, May 12th

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy Vs The Reverend (Netflix)

Bringing back Kimmy Schmidt for an ~*~*~ interactive ~*~*~ special ala Black Mirror: Bandersnatch. If you interacted with that show then you will know it was totally fine! But it did take up a nice solid block of time! Also you can choose to make out with Daniel Radcliffe in this one soooo (still, just trying to cope).

Friday, May 15th

The Great (Hulu)

Another show in the ‘quirky history’ trend, this time starring Elle Fanning as baby Catherine the Great (before she was Great). A satirical period piece with vague girl power themes? That sounds like maybe I’m making fun of it, but seriously sign me up. This is genuinely all things I want.

White Lines (Netflix)

The new show from the Money Heist creator, except instead of robbing a bank we are doing my other favorite activity: solving a cold case murder! If it even has half the flash (the victim is a DJ) and twists and turns of Money Heist (there is a group of likely suspects)  it will still be time well spent.

Sunday, May 17th

Snowpiercer (9pm on TNT)

Y’all, I truly never thought we’d see the day. To say the Snowpiercer TV series (based on the Bong Joon-ho movie) has been ‘embattled’ is the understatement of the frozen television landscape. This show was announced five years ago, has had two different showrunners, a total pilot redo, and was supposed to be on TNT, then TBS, now TNT again. No idea if this will be good, or even anything at all, but it’s become such an object of curiosity how could you not want to take a peek. Also it’s already been picked up for a season 2! Absolutely wild. Thrilled to be on the journey. 

Wednesday, May 27th- HBO Max Day!

Along with that library of WB content, HBO has some original series dropping today that I will now briefly preview for you:

Craftopia - Pre-teen crafting competition.

Legendary -  The voguing competition that began the great Jameela Jamil Battle of Twitter.

Looney Tunes - Self explanatory!

Love Life-  A rom com anthology from Paul Feig. Spend a season watching Anna Kendrick search for love- or don’t! Whatever you’re into.

The Not Too Late Show With Elmo - Elmo hosts a talk show! 

I will say this for HBO Max: their offerings are clear and concise. 

Friday, May 29th 

Space Force (Netflix)

Remember like two years ago when it was announced we would have a Space Force?  Well this Greg Daniel’s workplace comedy series (wonder if he’s any good at those) starring Steve Carrell will commemorate those simpler times. 

Central Park (Apple +)

An animated musical comedy from the makers of Bob’s Burgers about the battle for the soul of Central Park. Looks fun, zany, etc. Boy, I would really like to go to a park...

Okay out of an energy now. Feel free to tell me what I missed and if it’s something turns out to be good I’ll humble myself with a correction next month (pending continuation of civilization). Now get out of here, scram, back to the couch with ya.

(JK love you)

XO

MD

[mychemicalficrecs]

Any non canon universe fics that are longer in length and have bottom Gerard in it? I can't find many that I haven't already read yet lol😅 Ty!

What counts as ‘longer’ depends a lot on who you ask. A few of these are pretty long though :'D

Longer Frank/Bottom!Gerard AUs

Your Heart The Only Place That I Call Home by dear_monday, 30k, Explicit. When Frank and his crew of morally ambiguous ethernauts (pirates, as Imperial law would have it, but that's such an ugly word) fetch up on the doorstep of the fabled Sanctuary, they aren't expecting to find much - least of all a long-lost brother, a garden in a box and the key to an ancient riddle.

Should You Choose To Remember by dear_monday, 30k, Explicit. Normality is a funny thing. Gerard-the-awkward-kid-who-works-in-a-store had more of it than he knew what to do with. Gerard-the-equally-awkward-kid-who-needs-his-life-saving-on-a-regular-basis has none at all anymore and would quite like it back, thank you very much. He doesn't know what happened to his life, but he's positive that Frank had something to do with it. What's only making things worse is that he's equally positive he knows Frank from somewhere – if he could only remember where from.

Take the Pieces and Build Them Skywards by quarterturn, 45k, Explicit. Gerard's not happy with his life, but that doesn't mean he's particularly thrilled when he wakes up dead. To add insult to injury, he finds out that instead of crossing over, he's been chosen to join the ranks of the grim reapers. Things get more complicated when he falls for one of the living, a waiter named Frank Iero. And just when everything finally seems to be falling into place, Frank's name shows up on the list of souls to be reaped. Loosely based on the TV show Dead Like Me.

The World Famous Extraterrestial Diner by Andromedas_Void, 9k, Explicit. Sure the menu had a picture of literally everything in it, causing the menu itself to be ten pages in total, but that was for the foreign visitors. And not just the ones from other countries, according to the owners. Gerard worked at a diner located directly on the famous ‘extraterrestrial highway’. The pictures were more for if any actual aliens ever came by Earth for a good meal and couldn’t speak English. They had the pictures to see exactly what was on offer. Even the beverages had their own separate pictures. Not that they had had any extraterrestial visitors since, like, ever.

Dirty Verse by happilyappled, 66k, Explicit. Gerard can't be sure what he likes the most: cars, or his boyfriend Frank. [High School AU, Explicit Content, Fluff, Emotional]

Coffee Flavored Kisses by three_cheers_for_sweet_frerard, 8k, Explicit. Frank knows this boy. Okay, so ‘knows’ is too strong - he goes to the same coffee shop as this boy, and maybe Frank stares at him just a little too much. A lot. Frank stares at this boy a lot.

Frerard-ternity, For Eternity, Fraternity, Same Thing by romanticizingchemicals, 23k, Explicit. What do you think of when you hear the word college? Staying up until midnight, partying and getting drunk like you see in those comedies? Or perhaps you picture a more realistic take, which includes the littered desk and over usage of coffee mugs due to the chronic consumption of the beverage. Maybe, just maybe, you think of joining some great clubs. That's always a great idea, right? To get involved in your school? Sure, but not if it's against your super hot roommate. Gerard and Frank end up in the same dorm room together, and fall helplessly in love. The only thing blocking their relationship is the brutal rivalry between their fraternities, which happen to be exact opposites. How bad could it be?

You Won't Be Alone Tonight by lukesdaydreams, 11k, Explicit. Frank and Gerard were in love, right? Gerard was scared though. Scared that Frank wouldn't want him anymore. So he decided to do something about it.

How Many Letters Are In Goodbye? by geeisajacketslut, romanticizingchemicals, 49k, Mature. Schedules were something crucial to Gerard. He liked following a schedule at home, at work, and even his schedule for his weekly library trips. He knew that if he had a game plan, nothing could get messed up. Basically, Gerard is a schedule whore and Frank has a lip ring and Mikey wants to marry someone after dating that person for a week. ~ "I found your number in a library book" AU

eyes like glowing embers by bellachanmustdie, 9k, Explicit. The young alpha swore not to find his omega. It turns out it is harder to keep his promise not when his destined omega is working inside the company that he owns…

Somebody to love by Hangmans_Radio, 18k, Explicit. High school frerard where Gerard is an idiot and Frank is adorable. OR The one where Gerard gets over himself with a little help from his friends. Frank is great in bed, Gerard is crap with feelings, and together they make prom night a night to remember.

You Sparkle Like My 6 Gun by jet6black6feeling6, 7k, Explicit. Gerard does drag at a prohibition era night club that mafia boss Frank owns. Duh.

These Violent Delights by wrhl, 101k, Explicit. Book One of The Violent Delights Series. Frank is your normal guy living in a city. Single, gay and a serial killer. When Gerard moves in and is anything but Frank's definition of normal (which is far fetched to begin with) only the most horrible of delights can ensue.

Doll Parts by vampirexchild, 107k, Explicit. Gerard was both adored and hated by all. An androgynous model plastered onto magazines worldwide, that glamorous smile and doll-like face could charm anyone - and he dug his claws into anyone and anything he wanted. Even Frank Iero, his brand new assistant who is not who he says he is.

Wasteland, Baby! by findingsaturn, 7k, Explicit. It's Gerard's turn to take care of his angel now.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Family Fights - Chapter three

Summary:  Even the strongest bond, the most loving family, can be broken by nightmares, and the librarian is soon to learn this. As she learns sinister things about a person who she had thought was lost forever, she realizes she will need the help of another witch to get her family back.

Notes: I really need to write this fic real quick before season two comes around and smashes all my headcanons lol

(chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3)

Both Hilda and Johanna gasped as Maven pushed one of bookshelves aside with great effort to reveal a passage to another room. The library was still closed, so there were no other patrons around to behold the sight of the librarian stepping into the grim hidden chamber.

There was a click as she pressed a light switch and the room was cast in light. It was still darker than the rest of the library, but now at least they could properly see where they were going. After tree steps down the stairs, Maven looked back and gestured for the two of them to follow her inside.

“I’m not allowed to show this room to patrons, so I’d appreciate your discretion.” The librarian asked as she hopped down the last steps and headed for the writing desk that sat at the base of the staircase, a dark wooden piece of furniture with a lamp sitting on top of it and a red armchair by its side. There were scrolls of parchment laying on it, remnants of the research she’d done few days before, that hadn’t been put away because she had planned to come back to it when she had the time. But now she had something more important to focus on.

She had time to put the desk to sorts as Hilda and her mother descended the stair very slowly, taking in every bit of the room with slacked jaws. Hilda looked outright delighted, while Maven could tell Johanna was a bit apprehensive of the whole situation.

“What is this place?” Johanna asked, taking in the walls covered from top to bottom with books and ancient tapestries with symbols and creatures she didn’t recognize.

“Why is it a secret?” Hilda added with her voice filled with awe.

“This is where we keep all books on witchcraft and magic.” Maven looked around. She’d never get tired of admiring this place. “Witches have been in Trollberg ever since it was founded, you know? The first librarian was one of us. He arranged this room for our kind to be able to store our knowledge in a safe place. Since then, the magical families in town have been passing the information about this place down the generations. It was also very common that witches would become the librarians, in order to protect this place.”

There was a beat of silence before Hilda asked, this time much closer to Maven who was running her eyes through the books in one of the shelves. She looked like she knew exactly what she was looking for. “Is this why you chose this job?”

She chuckled, though she still looked serious. “No, it was just because I’m a bookworm. Though this place is very important to me as well.”

“There are other magical families in Trollberg?” Johanna asked with her arms crossed. She didn’t think the librarian would have lied to her when she said there were no other witches in town, but she had to be sure.

Maven shrugged, looking sad as she ran her finger down the spine of a book with dark blue leather binding. “There used to be. Few, but enough that there were also other places where we used to gather. But they’re gone. Some families died out. Others reached a point where the youngest generation didn’t have a gift for magic, or decided it was too much trouble and not fit for the modern world. A few even moved out of town.”

She took the book she had been caressing out of the shelf, its name written in golden letters at the cover. “My family was the last one. But now there’s only me.”

She took her eyes from the book to her guests, cringing when she saw the look of pity on their faces. “Sorry about that. Why don’t you come here, Hilda?”

Hilda looked at her mother, who nodded her permission, and sat down on the armchair as Maven had indicated. The librarian moved around to lean against the backrest, and placed the book on Hilda’s lap. “Page one hundred and thirty nine.”

The girl opened the book on the place she had been told to. It had been written by hand, she realized. The page was the beginning of a chapter, and on the top of it ‘Becoming a Marra’ had been written in bold letters.

“This is the most complete book on the Marra we have”, the librarian said above her. Hilda skimmed through the chapter, finding herself confused as another chapter began and she still hadn’t found the ritual that the librarian had mentioned when she asked for her help.

“There’s a lot of stuff here… but nothing about turning them back.” She pointed out, raising her eyes to the librarian.

Maven brought one hand down to the book, finding the page she had been looking for with no trouble after spending so much time studying the tome as she had. There was a small envelope glued to it, and she opened it and carefully took out the old, wrinkly piece of parchment inside. “There is no specific spell for this purpose. But one of the researchers who added information to this book after the original author died believed that an already existing ritual would work.”

Hilda squinted at the note. It had very few details, but it at least informed where said ritual could be found. “The Manipulation of Mind, Soul and Body?” She asked. “Do you have this book here?”

The librarian nodded and walked to the opposite wall, looking for the book to show Hilda. This time, she took a little while longer; this wasn’t a book she needed as often as the other one. When she did find it though, she came back to Hilda’s side and found Johanna kneeling in front of her child to read the book as well.

Maven opened the book in her hands and searched the glossary for the chapter she needed, turning the pages carefully due to their age; she wasn’t certain about this particular copy, but the book itself was older than their town.

“Here.” She gave the book to the girl, who closed the blue one and returned it to the librarian. Maven kept the book on the Marra in her hands. As soon as the two of them left, she’d put it on one of the drawers on the circulation desk to remember to take it home with her that night.

“Awesome!” Hilda whispered excitedly as she read about the ritual, while Johanna frowned at the yellow ink stained paper.

“Would Hilda be able to do this? Is it even possible?” She asked with a concern that Maven couldn’t begrudge her.

“The point of this spell is to gather and manipulate energy until the witches can, through their intent, craft a new soul. The possible dangers in the process come mainly from how much energy is needed, and how much control it takes to make all that energy submit to you. This first problem is easy to take care of. If we pick a proper day and use the right components, it shouldn’t bother us.”

“Components?” Hilda interrupted her, making the librarian turn her gaze to the little girl who was her only hope.

“Yes. In this case, it would mostly be crystals and a proper wand, though candles will also help.”

She looked back at Johanna, who was beginning to look genuinely interested in what she had to say. “As for the other matter, that’s what the training is for. She’d learn how to control energy as well as the theory parts of witchcraft.”

Johanna locked her eyes with the ground, a wary look still on her face, and Maven reached out a hand to touch her shoulder. Their gazes met.

“I know we still don’t know each other well, but I need you to trust that I would only allow Hilda to help me once I was sure she was ready. I would never risk your family to try to save mine.”

“I want to help her, mum!” Hilda said, making Johanna tear her eyes away from Maven, and the librarian let her hand drop to her side.

“You have to be sure.” Maven told her as she turned to her once more. “Once your magic is unlocked, it can’t be hidden away again”

Hilda seemed to think for a few moments before she asked. “Why would I want to hide it?”

Maven sighed in a tired manner and moved to look for yet another book. “I’m afraid that is the first lesson.”

Not a minute later, Maven dropped a book with black covering and silver letters on her lap, and sighed again. “To put it shortly, most humans hate witches because they have magic. Most magical creatures hate witches because they’re humans. You’ll forever be in a limbo you can’t escape”

“The History of Witchcraft.” Hilda whispered as she read the book’s title.

“I have to open the library soon, but feel free to ask anything now and take it home, should you wish it.”

She opened it and immediately coughed because of the dust inside the tome. “This looks like it hasn’t been opened in years!”

There’s only so much reading that a person can do by herself, Maven though.

“Can you tell me something?” She asked, sensing that she would have a hard time reading such a long, heavy book. “When did witches come to Trollberg?”

“We were always here”, Maven said as she sat down on the stair. “We helped build the town. Everyone thinks that it was a bunch of men with beards and their violence that helped keep the trolls out. But it has always be us who had knowledge about nature and how to deal with it. We already lived in this place when there came group of people who wanted to build a haven safe of danger, safe of magic.”

Safe of anything interesting, Hilda mused.

“The witches helped them, but when the walls were up, it soon became clear that they were included in this group of creatures too dangerous to be around the good people of Trollberg. Luckily, the people in power were way to grateful for their help to be able to send them away.” She shrugged. “They were probably also afraid of being cursed, but that’s not the point. Witches were allowed to stay as long as we were discreet and practiced our craft in secret.”

“Have you ever seen the book with the drawing or picture of every librarian the town’s had?” They shook their heads in a negative gesture. “You’d have noticed that many of them had unusual hair colors, though normal enough not to awake suspicion. A red a little too fiery, a blond a little too bright, dark strands that shone silver with light…”

“Does your sister have hair like us?” Hilda asked suddenly, making Maven startle with the unexpected question.

“Yes… she used to have the most beautiful lavender hair. She’d keep only one strand with its true colour and die the rest black like me.” She answered even as she fought back waves of sadness and anger and bitterness.

Knowing her daughter as she did, Johanna knew that she’d probably begin asking more about Maven’s sister now that she’d gotten started, and Johanna sensed that the librarian really didn’t have the energy for that at the moment. So she made a show of looking her watch and gasping.

“Oh, I think we should go now! The library will really have to open soon.”

Maven smiled at her, thankful for the interruption. “Yes, I’m afraid so. Which days do you have available for our lessons?”

Hilda looked up in a pensive manner. “Saturday, obviously. And Wednesdays. They are okay too.”

The librarian nodded and got up, gesturing for them to climb up the stairs before her. “In this case, I’ll see you next Wednesday.”

_#_#_#_

Not for the first time in two years, Maven felt too sick in her own room to sleep there.

She didn’t need to bring anything with her. She still kept her parent’s room tidy, the bed made for any occasions like this. Today was just one of these days when she couldn’t stand to look at Myra’s empty bed, at the clothes still in her side of the wardrobe, at the picture of their family she’d torn on her last day with them.

It was too painful to remember it all over again.

But as she walked to her parent’s old room that night, already clad in her purple and grey pajamas with her dear catowl perched on her shoulder, she couldn’t help but remember.

Myra has been so upset that night. Both Maven and Amaris were already home and getting dinner started when she stormed into the house, crying and shaking from the rain outside, her clothes dirty with mud. She let herself fall in front of the fireplace, which they had lit because of the cold night, and both her sister and her mother ran to her and began asking her questions.

When she controlled her sobs and looked up, there was no sadness in her gaze. There was only anger. Maven had few to no memories of the teenage drama she’d been trough in her own teenage years, much less of Myra’s, so even though she could describe every second of what had happened that night at their house, she had to admit she probably couldn’t do the same with her sister’s story. She could remember that the same group of mean people that had been bothering Myra for a while had been the cause of her anger and also the state of her clothes. She could remember that her sister’s humiliation had been heightened by the fact that she’d been with a new girl who she was trying to befriend when the incident happened. But looking back, she could see that that had not been the day Myra had snapped; that had happened long before. That had only been the day she had made a decision. A terrible decision.

Maven sat down on the edge of her parents’ bed, letting Freya leave her shoulder in favor of her lap. She caressed the soft fur-like plumes in its head and ears, moving down to gently run her fingers through the dark feathers or her wings. Freya’s tail tried to curl around her legs in a gesture of affection, and the librarian smiled despite her inner turmoil.

She remembered how she had tried to hug her sister, only to have the girl tense up like she was being approached by a snake. When Maven drew back, Myra met her eyes.

“Do something.” She said, and then turned to their mother. “Why don’t you ever do anything? Why do you just let this happen to me?”

Amaris and Maven shared a look. They had had that conversation before, many times. They knew what she was talking about, but they pretended not to.

“We have already talked to the headmaster, Myra. Many times.”

“And with the teachers too.” Maven added. “But I’m sure they’ll do something now, sweetie. We have proof of physical assault.”

As Maven gestured to her sister’s clothes, the girl’s eyes darkened and her voice became a whisper. “You know what I’m talking about, and I know you can use your magic to help me.”

“As we have said before, we can.” Their mother explained with all the patience she had, bless her soul. “We can put a glamour on you so that you’ll go unnoticed by them. Or try a charm to make them sweeter people.”

“We could make you an amulet with enchantments for protection.” Maven suggested, gently grasping Myra’s coat and trying to take it off of her so she wouldn’t be wearing wet clothes, but failing when Myra didn’t move a muscle.

“This is not what I want!” She insisted, shrugging her sister away from her. “I know you can hex them! Then they’d leave me alone. You just don’t want to!”

This made Amaris sigh, and rest her hands in her knees. “My dear, you know why we can’t do that. Do what ye will, harm ye none, remember?”

“But they are harming me!”

“And it will come back to them, eventually!” Her sister assured her. “And it’s not like we’re not doing anything, Myra! We’ve already talked to the school and their parents. We’ll talk to the headmaster once more, and if it still doesn’t work…”

Maven spread her hands in front of herself, not really knowing what to say.

“Then we can have you change schools, if that’s what you want.” Their mother suggested, but it seemed to be the wrong answer, as Myra screeched in frustration and got up.

“I don’t want to change schools!” She shouted. “I want them to feel like I feel! I want to make them scared! I want them to know what it is like to feel cornered!”

“And we don’t blame you for that.” Maven got up and crossed her arms, upset with her sister’s outburst. “But we will not use our craft for revenge purposes!”

“We will do whatever we can to help you, but witches are guardians of the earth, my dear.” Amaris said in a peaceful tone of voice. “We are not punishers.”

Myra stomped her foot on the floor. “I hate this!”

Her shout made both mother and sister take a step back. “I hate this useless power that we can’t use to help us! I hate all the rules and guidelines, and I hate that you two value your precious craft more than you value me!”

They gasped. Amaris was quick to put a reassuring hand on Myra’s shoulder, but it was shrugged off as soon as it reached her. “Darling, that’s not…”

“Shut up!” She screamed, and stomped off to their room. “I hate all of you.”

She locked the door behind her, but Maven followed her and knocked hard on it. “How dare you speak to our mother this way? Apologize to her now, Myra!”

There was no reply from inside, so the librarian huffed in annoyance and turned to her mother, who was clearly beginning to cry.

“Have we truly neglected her, Maven?” She whispered into her older daughter’s neck, her frail frame shaking slightly in the librarian’s arms.

“I- I don’t think so, mother.” Maven answered though she didn’t sound sure at all. Ever since their father died, Myra’s rages against their culture had been a somewhat common occurrence that they had to deal with. But it was never this bad. She never said such cruel things about them, which made Maven wonder if maybe they truly were putting their craft above their family.

With those disturbing thoughts, they went back to their cooking. Maven set out the table really slowly, trying to postpone the inevitable, but eventually there was nothing else left to do but call her sister to come eat dinner.

She knocked on the room’s door, gently this time.

“Sweetie, come eat. You can grab your plate and come back to your room, if you want.”

There was no answer.

“Myra, please. Open the door.”

She tried opening it but it was still locked. “It’s just dinner. You don’t even need to look at our faces if you don’t want to.”

Maven tried opening it a few more times, and then began getting nervous. “Myra? Myra, please!”

Hearing her daughter’s distress, Amaris went to the room the two of them shared as well.

“It’s locked.” Maven said when she arrived. “And it won’t open. She’s not replying either.”

Amaris leaned the side of her head against the door, straining to hear anything at all, but no sound came from the inside. “Myra, were coming in.”

With a simple enchantment, Amaris unlocked the door and Maven ran inside, her heart nearly beating out of her body when she found no one in the room. Their mother ran to check the adjoining bathroom, but one look at Myra’s bedside table and Maven knew it was hopeless.

Her sister kept a photo of the tree of them on a frame. The picture was now ripped to shreds, and surrounding it, there was a circle of vivid green smoke.

Maven’s knees gave out under her, bringing her to the ground. She closed her mouth with her hand to stop a desperate sob from coming forth, but she couldn’t stop the tears forming in her eyes. When she came into the bedroom again, their mother noticed it too. She rummaged through the room, looking for any sign that her daughter was still there, hiding at some corner, while chanting “no, no, no.”

Eventually she too had to admit defeat. She knew just as well as her daughter that this left over magic was a tell tale sign of the Marra. She dropped to the ground near Maven and they cried for hours, until they found strength to get up and look for any information about the Marra they could get their hands on.

On multiple occasions, they had tried to summon the Marra for one of them to lead them back to Myra; but it never worked. The Marra very rarely scared adults, as it was much harder to truly frighten them. They had tried every trick and every spell they could think of to retrieve their Myra, but it had always been fruitless.

And of course it had been fruitless, Maven now thought bitterly as she tucked herself into what used to be her mother’s side of the bed. They had thought that the poor girl must have been captured when the Marra sensed she was weak, and an easy target. It had been known to happen. It wouldn’t be the first time the Nightmare Spirits would have captured an innocent person to experiment and train their scaring on, letting them go when they had no use for said person anymore.

Being under the Marta’s thumb usually had life long consequences; those victims were known to never come back to who they were before after such traumatizing experiences. Maven had had more than one nightmare about her little sister, the one she had sworn to protect, wandering around the woods, her eyes bloodshot and her body weak, rambling about monsters and devils and jumping at the slightest of sounds.

But they had been wrong. Their love for Myra had made them blind to the fact that the girl had apparently knowingly, willingly joined them. So of course it hadn’t worked.

And what was agonizing Maven the most was, it probably wouldn’t work now either. She could train a thousand witches, could make them the most powerful spell casters the world had ever seen, and it still would be pointless if she couldn’t convince her sister to accept the help she was offering.

She lied on her side and looked at the night sky outside; she was used to letting the curtains open when she went to sleep, so as to wake up with the sun. She wondered where her sister was, at that moment. If she was scaring someone, if she was around that freaky campfire. Unfortunately, the only place Maven knew Myra was not was at the room in the end of the corridor.

“Oh, Myra.” She whispered tiredly as Freya settled herself by her feet. “What have you done?”

[the-potter-analyst]

Chapter 11 - The Dueling Club

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text word of the day: Excellence

Something I didn’t think about that was brought up in the podcast was how, like complaining, excellence is a neutral thing that can be used for either good or bad. Hermione for example excels in a lot from magic to retaining information and uses those skills for good, while someone like Lockhart, who excels at memory charms, chooses to use his skills for selfish reasons. Instead of working for the ministry or smth, he wipes the memories of witches and wizards and takes credit for their successes. Ironically enough, Lockhart says “excellent” a lot when he himself isn’t excellent. 

Snape might be a dick, but he’s still really good at what he does. He’s an excellent potions master, dueling master, and spy. This doesn’t really redeem him as a person in my eyes though, cause he’s never actively trying to be a better person. I have to wonder whether his response to Goyle’s cauldron exploding was due to him fulfilling his roll as a caring teacher or if it was because it happened to a Slytherin and/or it affected so many students he had no choice but to give them antidotes. I’m wondering this because something similar happened in the past, but it was Neville’s potion that went wrong and Snape immediately yelled at him and then blamed it on Harry. I know that Goyle’s potion was sabotaged, but I have a feeling that if it exploded bc of something Goyle did, Snape would’ve had a very different reaction than he did with Neville. 

Speaking of Neville, as much as I talked about him last book, he has barely appeared so far. Poor thing is so freaked out about the chamber monster even when he’s a pure-blood, citing that he’s “almost a squib” so he might still be in danger. Honestly I think a lot of Neville’s mishaps with magic are because he doesn’t believe in himself. His growth is in such small steps and as he is now, he doesn’t acknowledge himself as someone of worth. But he still has things he excels at! Like herbology! And he’s still a brave person! And cares about his friends! Like the hosts said, you can’t really quantify excelling at kindness and the like, but that doesn’t make them any less valid of skills.

The discussion on the podcast about being forced to use your talents or having talents forced upon you was interesting. With Harry, he’s naturally fluent in parseltongue (due to Voldemort’s horcrux) but he has no way to control it, versus his talent for flying but he chooses to use it for Quidditch. I mentioned this part of Harry that he can’t control in chapter 9 and he still doesn’t know what to do with it (though at the moment he thinks they’re separate causes). Interestingly, he panics more from being accused of being the heir due to his gift rather than the gift itself. To Harry, it’s just this thing he can do, it’s not inherently bad like any other skill, yet it has a history of people using it for harm so now society associates it with dark wizards. And Harry hasn’t been socialized with this.

I wonder why Snape didn’t immediately get rid of the snake when it was going for Justin. Maybe Harry reacted before he could? And it’s amazing how fear skews memory. Because like Harry said, anyone who thinks about what truly happened would realize that the chain events went a) snake is angry and moves towards Justin, and then b) Harry tells the snake something and it stops. But to everyone freaked out by the Chamber of Secrets and the Heir of Slytherin believes those actions are flipped. Fear also skews logic, as seen with the Hufflepuffs when Ernie jumped to conclusions. I think this is an example of how all the houses have good and bad qualities to them, it’s not all black and white. Here, Ernie is being loyal to his friend who’s in danger, but he directs his anger at an easy target rather than logically looking at the situation. He goes so far as to assume Voldemort attacked a baby bc the baby had dark magic. Does he even stop to think about how crazy that accusation is?? God bless Hannah though, she’s the true Hufflepuff here.

I can’t believe Ginny’s only line in the book so far was that one time in Flourish & Blotts. Give my girl actual screen time pls and ty. I mentioned in a post that all of the info about Ginny that we get are just told to us and I suggested that she might be avoiding interacting with Harry. But it might also be that what’s happening to Ginny is just in Harry’s periphery, they’re just small details that he doesn’t think too much about. And it’s meant to throw first-time readers off since they seem like trivial facts. Which is extremely sad when something serious is happening to her. She’s not just distraught about Collin bc he sat next to her in Charms. She’s not just having random nightmares. So I want everyone to pay more attention to the people around you, even if they seem fine, they may not be and are too afraid or don’t know how to call for help. And for those who are in dark places, I pray that you will have the strength to ask for help.

Small things:

Good for Harry for saving Hermione from Millicent when the teachers were too full of themselves to do anything

He also has such strong ethics, like instead of leaving the petrified bodies since he’s being accused of being the heir, he think I can’t just leave them here

Harry is so savage sometimes lmao

Lockhart: Just do what I did!

Harry: Drop my wand??

And again we have an instance of the movie script writers giving Ron’s lines to Hermione :/

Ah yes, the nasty little voice in Harry’s head. From that description it sounds like the piece of Voldemort’s soul in Harry

Harry hid himself in the Invisibility section of the library lol

Previous: Chapter 10 - The Rogue Bludger

Next: Chapter 12 - The Polyjuice Potion

[gilbirda]

Just realized I didn’t finish porting this to tumblr lol

<<Previous Chapter / Next Chapter >>

Chapter 4: Secrets

She looked back up to him, her eyes watery as if she were about to cry but holding it behind an angry scowl. “He didn’t love me, and I see it now, because back then he only wanted me for what I had more than for who I was. He just wanted me to be a pretty face attached to his fucktoy.”

Bog gulped. This was bad. Worse than bad. Marianne must have been fifteen when all of this happened. She was a just child!

“But it didn’t stop there,” she kept talking, the first tears going down her cheeks, but he didn’t make any comment about it. “People started talking and spreading more and more rumours about what really happened between us. They said that I was incapable of satisfying any man, that I was a frigid, frozen Empress. Everything you can think of, they said about me.”

“But you were fifteen! How could they expect you to do that?” Marianne snorted, unamused.

“You tell me! Every girl in school was more than ready to drop her panties for him, I was the defective one!” her voice broke. The girl rubbed her eyes with her long sleeved black t-shirt, trying to stop the stream of tears going down her face. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not usually a crier. That’s my sister’s job.”

“Don’t worry,” Bog thought about putting a hand on her shoulder, but he talked himself out of doing it. Maybe it would do worse than good in that moment.

“I had to…,” she continued, “I had to endure this, you know? My sister only knows what everyone else does, and she can’t know the truth.”

“Why not? Why didn’t you tell an adult then? Or the Director?”

“You don’t understand. Roland is the big promise, the poster child of this school. No one would believe me,” she sniffed, the tears finally stopping as she looked at him in the eyes. “And the Director is my father. He adores Roland like the son he never had.”

Bog blinked once, twice. The plot thickens, he thought.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, “for having to suffer that alone.”

“I guess so. But at least now someone knows,” she smiled softly and then sighed again. “I’m a mess.” Marianne looked down to the smudges of makeup on her sleeves.

“Nah, it’s just paint. Here,” he offered her a handkerchief to clean her face.

“I’m sorry,” the girl murmured, her voice muffled by the cloth, “I’m ruining your stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have tons. My mother usually gives me those for Christmas.” He breathed when she finally smiled, feeling a weird clench on his heart.

They settled into a comfortable silence as the sun started to set somewhere on the horizon, the light coming through the windows going more orange by the minute. Marianne finished cleaning her face of the make-up but didn’t immediately give back the handkerchief to its proper owner. As she thought of cleaning it on her house and return it the next day, she dwelled on the fact that she had just told her deepest secrets to a person she barely knew; a secret that she didn’t dare to tell anyone. Maybe that’s why she felt comfortable sharing her suffering - he was a complete stranger to the situation, after all. He didn’t know Roland so he didn’t idolize him, and he didn’t know her before the whole incident so he wasn’t taken aback by the sudden transformation of her personality. She felt like she could be herself around this not-quite-stranger-anymore.

“The worst part is,” she continued after clearing her throat, her eyes looking down to the piece of cloth on her hands, “I really liked him. He was so good looking, you know?” Marianne let out a dry laugh. “How stupid of me.”

“You were young. Don’t beat yourself up because of that,” the teenager looked up to the man still standing a few steps in front of her, the fading light of the sun bouncing on his angular face making shadows that made difficult the task of reading his expression. For a moment she thought that he sounded a bit sad.

“Not that young,” she sighed in defeat.

Another moment of silence fell on the Library, but this time there was a certain kind of tension radiating from Bog. She knew that there was something that he wanted to say and wondered what it would be about. He had tried to comfort her, but what was his real opinion about this? Was he going to treat her differently from now on? She hoped that he didn’t.

“It’s getting late,” he finally said, but something told her that it wasn’t what he had in mind. Marianne blinked as she realized that the light was almost completely gone and she couldn’t see what was in front of her.

“Yeah, I should be going home or Dawn is going to get worried.”

“I could give you a ride home,” Bog offered quickly, and if she could see his face she knew he would be slightly blushing. He wasn’t the type to initiate a socializing situation. “If you want to.” He added like in an afterthought.

“That… that would be great. Thanks.”

They both managed their way out of the Library and the forgotten books to be catalogued tomorrow. She waited in silence as he closed the door with his keys and followed him into the parking in equal silence. He still looked like he was thinking about something serious, and she could almost see the thoughts going back and forth behind his blue eyes framed by his small glasses. Curiosity burned the tip of her tongue, but she knew she was in no place to demand anything. She had opened her soul today but that didn’t mean that he had to do the same and share every thought and secret with her.

It was indeed a childish thought, so she did her best to shove it way back into her mind and focus on her reflection on the car window as she waited for him to unlock the car doors. Man, her face was a puffy red mess. She didn’t know how she was going to hide this from Dawn once she got home.

“Where to?” Bog asked once she seated beside him on shotgun and had fastened her seatbelt.

“It’s not far from here. Take me to Willow’s Park and I can walk.”

“I’m not going to make you walk alone at night,” he frowned without looking at her.

“Well…,” Marianne tried not to dwell on that fact that he wouldn’t look at her, “if you insist…”

She told him her address and he finally started the car, leaving the almost empty parking behind.

The ride wasn’t as quiet as the Library was, the soft murmur of the car engine and low music coming from the old stereo filling in for the conversation that wasn’t happening. Bog still looked like he wanted to tell her something, but so far no luck. She sighed when the familiar buildings of her street surrounded them.

“I…,” his voice startled her. Bog turned his eyes in her direction (finally!) and then looked back to the road even if they were going so slow that a man walking his dog was faster than them. “I…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, Bog,” Marianne dropped her nickname. “Really.”

He sighed.

“I know. But still you deserve a bit of sincerity. I guess?” it was almost cute seeing a grown man as nervous as Dawn the day of the Spring Ball.

“I appreciate the thought,” the car stopped in front of her house and the librarian killed the engine before leaning back on his seat and sighing deeply.

“I want to tell you before you find out by other people,” she smirked when he gave her an apologetic smile. Marianne shuffled on her seat and turned her body in his direction, silently telling him that she was listening. “I was told that I was too hideous to love. By a girl I loved. On my last year of high school.”

Marianne blinked in surprise at the, well, normal secret. She didn’t know what she was expecting but it wasn’t definitely this. A heartbreak? She could deal with that. But it was clear that this went further than that for him.

“What?” she deadpanned. “Tell me you didn’t believe her.”

“Well…. She didn’t actually had to say the words. I kind of understood it by the context.” he started to fidget with his fingers, not really looking at her.

Marianne snorted.

“Then maybe you should have stayed to hear what she really wanted to say. You are not hideous, Bog.”

It was his time to snort.

“Tell that to my “dear” classmates back in high school,” he grumbled and fixed his eyes in some point outside of the car. Marianne sighed. This was just the tip of the iceberg, she was sure of it. This man oozed low self-esteem and image issues. But she couldn’t do more than hear him when he needed someone to talk to.

“Teenagers are cruel and stupid and full of crap. Believe me, I’m one of those,” she put her left hand on his right one, which was now clenched in a fist on his leg. “Don’t believe any word they say because they usually are driven by a strong need to belong, like sheeps in a herd. If someone decided to target you, everyone would follow even if they don’t agree with it.”

“Suddenly I feel like you are the adult in this car,” Bog snickered.

“Nah, I just had to suffer herd mentality the last few years. Rationalizing it helps me when I don’t want to go to school.”

“Aren’t you a brave little thing?” he smiled when she blushed at his comment.

“I’m not going to comfort you anymore, idiot,” she huffed and looked elsewhere, provoking a laugh on the man by her side. She finally caved in and joined him in the laughing, the mood between them finally easing into something more of the usual.

A car honking brought them out of their little bubble, making them realize that she should really go home and he should move the car before someone called the police for blocking the road. At this hour there weren’t many cars but better safe than sorry.

It was then when both realized that Marianne still had one hand on him. The girl blinked and withdrew it so fast that it became a blur, her heart going at full speed. She hoped that he wouldn’t think anything bad about her, like she was some kind of creep. Marianne didn’t risk it and turned to open the door as fast as she could, blurting out a goodbye and a thanks before rushing to the door of her house, disappearing behind it when she managed to open it.

If she had turned and looked inside the car she would have seen a blushing Bog looking at his right hand, his bony cheeks painted a soft shade of pink.

***

That night, sleep evaded the librarian. He kept thinking back to the events of the day, from discovering the general opinion of the girl he was working with, to the impromptu heart to heart and the way that they easily swung back into their happy routine.

Bog couldn’t believe that he had told Marianne about what happened so many years ago. He hadn’t told anyone, not even his mother. But with Marianne, trusting her and confiding in her came easily. She was that kind of person, he guessed, people that radiated charisma and were reliable and capable of guarding a secret.

He wondered how she was like before all the stuff that happened to her. She didn’t seem to like her old self much and by what other teachers told him, she was a completely different person back then. Bog was sure that a experience like that changed anyone, no matter how strong you were.

He turned in his bed, restless as his thoughts went to darker places. He couldn’t imagine what she would have felt like when she discovered that the person she loved only wanted her body, and openly went to other women in places where people could see them. And then have all the whole school ganging up on her on a daily basis.

He scoffed. Marianne was right, teenagers were mindless sheep fighting for approval, eager to agree with the general opinion no matter how absurd it was. He was bullied for being too ugly, Marianne for being too pretty. Because they couldn’t pick on her appearance they made up stories about her, but that was the only difference to his situation.

None of them deserved her, he was sure of that. She was so brave and strong, capable of enduring all the rumours and the sideway glances with determination; she was passionate about the things she loved, like her sister and her music, and she was not scared to admit it out loud; she didn’t hesitate to make her opinion known even if it made anyone angry with her.

Bog looked once again at his hand, feeling the ghost of her touch where her fingers laid against his skin. Marianne didn’t hesitate today when she touched him or when she told him that it was stupid to think that he was too hideous to love. Even if it was a white lie, her golden eyes shone with the usual determination and stubbornness that drove her, and he appreciated it.

But still, he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her.

[davetheshady]

may I politely request ⭐dealer's choice director's commentary⭐for pretty much any part of Love is All You Need to Destroy Your Enemies?

Did you mean: infodump about Chapter 5?

We start off in medias res during Pteranodon Attack-Gate from Episode 4: PTA Meeting. Since most of the fic runs parallel to WTNV’s storyline for the first ~two years, the way I narrowed down which events to feature was to read through the transcripts and take note of which ones had Carlos, which ones featured science/magic/time travel-related elements, which ones had weird discrepancies or unsolved details that could be explained by Carlos/science/magic/time travel/all of the above, and which ones I just liked a lot. 

Incidentally, Cecil issues a correction that the winged reptiles in question were actually pterodactyls, not pteranodons, which was then promptly forgotten by the showrunners lol.

"—And then Kelly pulled her hamstring while they were doing the Fixing of a Nail position. I'm trying to convince her that she and Joe should do yoga together, I think it would really cut back on minor injuries and also they both look great in yoga pants. Anything new with you, Carlos?"

"Nothing that compares to... hamstring injuries," says Carlos, from his position on top of the Sciencemobile.

"All right," says Kate, adjusting an enormous pair of mirrored aviator shades. "Then describe the Barstow formation."

Since literal character doubling was such an important part of the plot, I had a lot of fun with thematic character doubling, too. Carlos and Kate (and the other grad students) are actually pretty close in age, and here we see her willing to put herself into danger to get the job done while casually chatting with her colleagues. Also, there’s a nice dose of karma for the books in Carlos having to deal with someone else oversharing details about their relationships, compounded by the fact that unlike his all of Kate’s are actually true. (In nicer doubling news: Kate is the one who gets her degree in science, has functional romantic relationships, AND continues to work in Night Vale, which are all eventually Carlos’ hashtag life goals.) 

"Maybe it was future you," asks Julie, who does not sound appropriately concerned for the potentially diverted course of the Currents of Time. Or for the potentially diverted course of the already unlinear life of Carlos.

This is the first conversation where she’s ‘Julie’ in his mental narration. I enjoyed having her be hilariously unsympathetic to his concerns here, because her priorities are still very different, but it also sets up a baseline. She doesn’t bother worrying about hypotheticals from the weird shit, but actual hard data (like, Carlos not sleeping and having minor breakdowns in her lab) is what prompts her to share reactions besides SCIENCE! and snark.

His stomach roils at the thought of more time travel. "Some kind of illusion is more likely," he says: some person or creature temporarily assuming his form, probably for sinister purposes. He reluctantly adds those weird doubles from the sandstorm to his list of possible suspects, though his dissolved right in front of him in the middle of next March and there haven't been any sandstorms recently.

oh hey haha what’s that

One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction is when allegedly intelligent characters ignore obvious plot points so the writer can railroad the story in their chosen direction. On the other hand, it is genuinely difficult to avoid spoiling your plot twists if your main character is actively trying to figure them out. I leaned heavily on “the character has all the basic details… along with so much other information they can’t realistically narrow it down”, combined with some red herrings: an obvious one (illusion magic) and hopefully a more convincing one (time travel as the only relevant plot: it's DEFINITELY involved, but its presence is obscuring another facet of the plot altogether).

There's always a risk that astute readers will figure it out, but, like… so? That just means instead of shocking plot twist reveal, they get an “I KNEW IT!” reveal, which is equally satisfying in a different way. As long as the characters have convincing reasons for not figuring it out, it's hopefully still enjoyable to follow along with them as they wander around in the dark. 

(And just for clarification: that was Doppel-Carlos crashing the town hall meeting when he and Dr. Raith were testing out time vortices.) 

Andre hands him a copy of the Night Vale Daily Journal. “’Look your best to face the void. Smooth-chinned souls are most enjoyed’,” reads Carlos. “‘Burma-Shave.’”

"No, below the ads," says Andre.

1) ‘character reads wrong piece of information in paper’ is a classic goof (“There’s a sale at Penney’s!”) and I found it very amusing to repeatedly attribute it to Carlos, since he’s genuinely trying to locate the important information. Unfortunately for him, he lives in Night Vale and no longer has a filter for “useless nonsense”, because even the nonsense has proven relevant and/or kinda murdery before.

2) Burma-Shave! This was passed down to me as part of our Great American Roadtrip Family Lore (I come from a long line of roadtrippers) and it’s definitely the kind of kitschy 50s detail that fits so well in Night Vale.

"Oh!" says Cecil. "What were you studying?"

"Bioremediation for contaminated pit lakes via sulfur-reducing bacteria," says Carlos truthfully.

Why? Because I edited one of my friends’ papers on it, that’s why. (Birds kept landing on it and dying, which is also a very Night Vale detail.)

When he returns, he finds Cecil standing by the record player with his back against the wall, staring fixedly at Carlos’ vinyl copy of Ixnay on the Hombre.

One of the DF books (I think White Night) had a hilariously high number of characters showing up wearing band t-shirts, and Carlos’ was for The Offspring. (The original file name for this fic was Original Prankster, back when I thought it would be three chapters long.)

“It’s about a wizard stranded in a strange, uncharted desert territory,” [Cactus Judy] says serenely.

Cactus Jane! I decided to make her a recurring character because 1) she’s in a time travel episode (Episode 18: The Traveler), 2) both she and TMITJ had the detail where no one can remember their real name, which seemed significant, and 3) WTNV itself did not have very many recurring female characters at that point. She’s into Shakespeare because I personally knew a lot of relevant Shakespeare quotes, but also as a hint that’s she’s a lot older (and thus a lot more supernatural) than she seems: Shakespeare was a HUGE part of pop culture in the 19th century, particularly in the southwest. Theater companies used to make more money going on tour through states with precious metal mines than they did during their whole season in the big coastal cities, probably because jaded city folks never threw gold nuggets on stage to show their appreciation.

If life is a contest between good and evil, Cecil would be one of the people handing out stickers just for participating.

This is one of my favorite lines.

My plan is fool-proof! It's sheer elegance in its simplicity!

Look, if you enjoyed this fic, WTNV, and/or The Dresden Files, you should probably go watch The Middleman. Yes, I know it’s not streaming, do it anyway. Load up on antivenom and go rent it from your local library.

“Could you [create a time vortex]?""Oh, for sure," says Carlos. "All I'd need would be a couple years to do nothing but work on a highly illegal spell and figure out a way to steal an entire ley-line's worth of power and excise my sense of morality and self-preservation.”

And WHAT are the odds of THAT

It's not that Carlos doesn't like him. It just wouldn't be fair to lead him on when Carlos wouldn't actually—

Well, Carlos wouldn’t mind asking but he doesn’t normally go for—

Okay, Carlos could definitely make an exception for Cecil and—

And—

oh NO he accidentally used logic to make himself admit he has FEELINGS

One of the reasons I love this pairing is that you have Cecil, who is incredibly emotionally open (all the time, on public radio) as a distinct contrast to Carlos, who is so used to putting up a very specific facade that he even does it to himself and then struggles when he doesn't have it to rely on. It creates conflict, but it also means they have very different perspective they can share with each other. 

"Did the earth move for you, too?" says Cecil.

"Bwuh?" replies Carlos.

"At the monitoring station," says Cecil, because right, they're talking about science and not about how Carlos may or may not have accidentally developed a tiny, tiny crush on Cecil, who is standing right in front of him and looking extremely interested in what he's saying and will commit his words to memory and lovingly repeat them for all the world, or at least all of Night Vale and anyone else who received the same odd death curse as Carlos, to hear.

"Oh. Hmm – unh," replies Carlos, then shakes his head. Not talking, that's the way to go. That way he won't accidentally say something he doesn't mean, or worse, something he does mean but probably shouldn't say. Cecil can ask him science questions and he can shake his head yes or no, and maybe refer him wordlessly to supplementary materials, and it will all be very professional and—

"Where did you get your shirt?" asks Cecil. "It fits you so well."

"I'll look at my notes and computer models and see if I can figure out what's going on," Carlos blurts out, and practically runs from the room.

One of the reasons I started writing this fic (SEPTEMBER 2013, BABY god I feel old) was because we all knew Carlos was immensely important to Cecil, but had relatively little information about him, and ALL of it was filtered through our unreliable narrator. So… I just kind of ran with that. 

But on top of the obvious unreliability of “didn't notice Carlos was a wizard from a different series”, I wanted to do it on the smaller scale, too, and put a different spin on the touchstones of their growing relationship that everyone was already familiar with. So this interaction is now a crisis for both of them, and for dramatically/hilariously different reasons. 

“If you’re worried about going native, I’ve got bad news for you, buddy, because you do more chanting than anyone I’ve met.”

Another one of my favorite lines.

“I’ve had to hunt down people I know before, and trust me, it’s not a fun date night!”

Between Molly and fanon interpretations of Cecil, Carlos’ type is apparently 1) weird tattoos, 2) unusually-colored hair, and 3) can kill him

There's a brief hiss from the TV's speakers, and then Cecil says, in a small, forlorn voice, “I don't know if he listens to me, sometimes.”

Carlos puts his head down and laughs bitterly.

I LOVE IRONY 

But even though I wanted to subvert the surface meaning, Cecil DOES still have a point. He got a good look at Carlos’ soul when they first met and still fell in love instantly, but Carlos has a difficult time hearing that because at this point he fundamentally does not believe he’s worthy of that kind of love. In order to truly believe Cecil, he also has to start learning to love and accept himself. (It’s very much a work in progress, but nobody’s perfect.) The title isn’t just meant to refer to romantic love – self-love, friendship, familial love, and unconditional love for the humanity of his trash fire town are equally important, because they all support each other.

hmu for more dvd commentary!