#bonus points if you say 'you know what? no. fuck this and fuck you.'
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quantum1mmortality · 2 days ago
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The crew & using toys on their S/O in bed please with a cherry on top??
First time writing the whole crew kinda nervous 🤭🤭 I'm not writing Swansea tho I will NOT be writing nsfw of a married man
Tw/cw; Afab!reader, winners love winning in Anyas hcs (use of the term pillow princess), jorkinit jumpscare
Not proofread
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Curly
I'm actually not sure if he'd be into toys
I've literally only written for Curly so I'd say I'm a Curly expert, and I just don't think he'd be into toys
He'd use a vibrator on you every now and then, but he'd just use it to tease you and make you beg for him.
He'd probably use cock rings. I am a firm believer Curly would use cock rings. Not all the time, but if he's had a really stressful day at work, he's wanting an extra hard hitting orgasm.
Omg not a toy but APHRODISIACS!!! This man would go crazy for some aphrodisiacs, whether he's taking it or you are.
Now I wanna write a wedding night one shot with Curly and aphrodisiacs thanks a lot anon 😔😔😔 I've got enough shit to write already
Anya
I don't care what any of you say this woman is a pillow princess
YOU'D be using toys on HER
She'd also be a cryer but that's not the point
She'd have a drawer dedicated to sex toys. She's trying to get into med school, she's CONSTANTLY stressed, how else is she supposed to release some of that stress? Don't judge her.
She wouldn't be into straps or dildos, she'd be into shit that vibrates. Vibrators obviously, rose toys, anything that stimulates the clit honestly
I lied she is into dildos this woman is a sucker for a RABBIT!!! Like I said, if it vibrates, she wants it.
Her favorite combo is the rose toy/vibrator + pussy licking. She cums so fast, then gets embarrassed, then begs for more. Praise her a bunch and she'll be able to go a few more rounds
BONUS CONTENT!!; she has a Christina and Princess Albertina, no further comments
Daisuke
Oh yeah, he's using toys.
He has a tongue piercing and sometimes he'll swap it out for a bar that vibrates but y'all aren't ready for that convo
He's gonna use the basic toys, nothing we haven't gone over yet. Vibrators, rose toys, cock rings, ect. He's just trying to figure out what he likes for right now, and he likes all of them
In missionary, he'd hold either a vibrator or rose up to your clit while he fucks you. Kind of uncomfortable as a position, but if it gets you off, it's worth it to him.
Not sure if this is considered a toy but he'd be interested in sounding. He's definitely had you try it on him once or twice, and he never lasts for more than a minute 😭 poor boy
He's just trying new things out. He's new to having a committed relationship, so anything you'd be into, he'd be willing to try. He'd let you peg him if you wanted, but don't ask me to write that.
My pegging days are over
Jonathan
The kinkiest cunt that ever cursed this god forsaken ship
Toys are a must have for him. On you, not him. He only likes using them on you, because it gives him a sense of power over you.
He'd be one of those assholes that would put a bluetooth vibrator in your panties and wait till you're in public to turn it on the highest setting. Like an asshole
Jizzdaddy would have a lot of toys. He'd have one of those robotic dildo setups that like.. idk does the thrusting how the fuck do I explain this????
You guys get what I mean if you've ever been on a porn site you've seen one
Anyway, he'd have one of those setups and watch it fuck you. Ass up, head down, grasping at whatever you could since HIS sadistic ass turned it up to the highest speed.
Eventually hed get pissed off and fuck you himself, claiming that you love the toy more than you love him 😔 the allegations are true but he doesn't have to know that
He'd also use plugs on you. In public, too. He doesn't care. If you humiliate yourself, that's your fault, not his.
vibrators are used during sex, nothing new. But it's the same situation as before. Claiming you love the toy more than him, so he stops using it.
Sometimes he'll just give in though and decide he doesn't care, and wants to tease you more than anything. Highest speed it can go, or the slowest. No in-between. He'll have you begging one way or another.
Chat I hate writing rough characters someone request ooc soft Joshua hcs so I can write him like I do Curly 🙏🙏🙏
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A/N; Anya makes me wanna kiss girls
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darlingdaisyfarm · 2 days ago
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im so sorry, i don’t even know how to explain myself at this point, consider this my apology for all the filthy nonsense i post here
so, this is a lil bonus to this post
nsfw (not really, but mentions of sex)
Ford is dead. Not literally (you check his pulse just to be sure), but emotionally and physically, this man has perished. Such a beautiful ruined mess underneath you, he’s sprawled out like a crime scene chalk outline, drenched in sweat, staring blankly at the ceiling as if questioning all his life choices.
But you’re not doing much better. Your legs shaking so much you can barely sit up, whole body feels like jelly and your brain isn’t working either. Somehow, you manage to flop next to Ford, throwing a limp arm over his scarred chest.
“Bravo, folks!” Bill exclaims. “what a show! Truly the pinnacle of human endurance and stamina! Sixer, gotta say, i missed seeing you like this, ah, the good old days!”
Ford groans faintly. “I hate you. . .”
“You’re so mean,” you mutter at Bill, glaring up at him with half-lidded eyes. “why’d you even join in? That’s not what we agreed on.”
The moment these words leave your mouth, you know you’ve fucked up. Ford’s body stiffens under your arm as his exhausted brain cells rapidly recalculating everything.
“What— what did you just say?” although his voice is hoarse from all sounds he made earlier, you still catch a note of seriousness in it. His head turns toward you in slow motion, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What do you mean. . . agreed on?”
You panic. “Wait, I mean, uh—”
“Oh, let me tell him!” Bill interrupts. “she’s talking about the little deal we made! you know, where I said, ‘hey, doll, wanna fuck your dusty old man to death?’ and she said, ‘of course, Bill, but no creepy tendrils, okay?’”
Ford looks like he’s been hit by a bus. “WHAT?”
You swear you feel yourself sweat from panic and embarrassment as you look at Bill in pure fear. “I thought you’d just watch! Not—”
Demon cuts you off with a laugh. “Oh, sure, you thought! And by the way, Sixer? these pathetic, desperate little whimpers, ugh, they’ll echo in my mind for eternity! I’ve waited so long to see you like that. A helpless, sloppy mess, both of you, my little huma—”
Ford's face flushes with either shame or anger, and you think he’s going to explode. But no. He pushes himself up, pushes himself up, the madman, and throws the sheet off in anger.
But Bill keeps. “I mean, you came so hard I’m surprised you didn’t pass out after the first round, old ma—”
Ford looks at that demonic creature. “That’s it. That’s it, Cipher, you’ve gone too far this time.”
You barely manage a “Ford, wait—” as he pulls on his boxers with surprising speed for a man who five seconds ago looked like he was on the brink of death.
“I’ll make you pay for this,” Ford declares dramatically. “Mark my words, Cipher, I’ll find a way to make you regret ever stepping into my house again.”
Both you and Bill fall silent, watching Ford’s boxers riding low on his hips as he marches out of the bedroom.
You watch your Ford walk away, eyes wide with panic, realising what just happened, but then your gaze goes lower. At that tattoo.
Flirty Gal.
Bill floats beside you, narrowing his single eye slyly. “I know what you’re looking at, doll.”
You glare at him, exhausted and annoyed. “I hate you.”
Cipher’s gaze flicks to the doorway Ford just walked through. “hate me all you want, but you've got good taste. Sixer's got a hell of an ass for an old man.”
“STOP TALKING.”
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redsrooftopprincess · 2 days ago
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SOBBINF I LOVE YOUR DISABILITY HEADCANONS SO MUCH,, MIKEY'S IS A STRAIGHT PUNCH TO THE GUT <33
May I possibly request reader x Mikey where they find out how he copes and helps make him feel more comfortable? Maybe they find him stoned and snuggles are just exactly what he needs at the moment? Possibly even attempting to help him through his unhealthier coping mechanisms? Bonus points if reader has depression as well!
Of course, no rush and you totally don't gotta do this if you don't want!! Headcanons or one-shot would be rad either way, if you are interested in this req!
Your writing is just so real and I love it so much oml. You are doing AMAZING (in general- as a fanfic writer as well I understand the effort that goes into this stuff and maintaining a regular life ontop of it) and thank you for all your hard work!!
I hope this is okay! 😅
Crushed
Warnings: Drugs/Alcohol, Inebriation
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"That's what this is, isn't it? A drive by?" he says, standing, and putting his clothes back on. 
You're on the couch in the club's green room, after the best sex of your life. The party ended hours ago, and in your E induced haze, you'd taken his hand and dragged him down here. 
"What? No! Why would you-?" You swing your legs over the side of the couch and walk over to him a little unsteadily, "Mike, no..." He doesn't look up at you. "I mean... is that what you want it to be?" You ask, hesitantly.
"That's what it is," he says simply.
You swallow and inhale, tears threatening.
He finishes putting on his belt and looks up at you, he tries to ignore the tears in your eyes. Regret, that's all it is, that you ever let him touch you. It didn't matter, it was almost sunrise, "That's what it is," he repeats, "That's always what it is."
You hear it, the bitterness, the acceptance in his voice. He just doesn't have it in him to hide it tonight. It breaks your heart. "Michaelangelo, please..." 
"Look, it's almost morning. I gotta get back underground. I'll see you Wednesday," he said, not really sounding like he was looking forward to the next party. He leaves before you can protest further. 
He knows what you're going to say. He's a great guy, but he's not exactly normal, you know? He's not exactly someone you can bring home to meet the folks. And he really doesn't need to hear it. He gets it. He does. And he feels like shit would be a lot easier if he didn't. If he didn't know *exactly* how unwanted he is. Only good for a good trip, and a decent fuck, if you're feeling adventurous. He snatches a bottle off the empty bar as he makes his way out into the alley. 
It had to be you tonight. He already hadn't been in the best place when the party started, so there was no resistance when you took his hand. On a good day, you could lead him into hell, and he'd follow with a smile on his face. On a night like tonight, he'd thank you. You're friends, but in these circles the line between friend and lover blurs easily. You've slept together a number of times and he always leaves right after. You mean everything to him, so he'd let you do anything to him. Use him however you like. As long as he doesn't have to hear you let him down easy.
You dress quickly. You know what's happening. It keeps happening. He's shutting down. Shutting you out. He assumes you got what you wanted, end of transaction, and honestly the sex was great, it's *always* great, but what you want is him. Not sex. And your not letting him run away. Not this time.
You follow him down into the sewers, and find him sitting against the wall of one of the tunnels, knees curled up to his chest and tears staining the fabric beneath his eyes. You startle him and he tries to get up to face whatever might be attacking him, but stumbles, drunk. 
He sits back down once he realizes it's you. Now everything is so much worse. He never wanted you to see him like this. He didn't need you to feel bad for him. You ask him what's wrong and he doesn't want to talk about it. You say that's okay, and move the bottle out of reach, sitting next to him. 
You sit together in silence for a few minutes. You're terrified that saying the wrong thing will send him running from you faster. 
"Mike-" 
"I don't wanna talk about it, okay?" He gets up to leave, taking the bottle with him, and has to catch himself on the wall when he sways. 
You sigh and stand, but don't move to follow him, "Why not?"
"Because there's no point." 
"Why not?"
"Because you..." He looks at you and his heart clenches, he sighs, "forget it." He stumbles a few steps away and stops with a heavy sigh, "I can pretend all I want, and so can the rest of you, like I'm normal... I'm not," he turns around to look at you, his face a mask of escalating pain and injustice as his fists clench tight, "I'm not. I'm not normal. I'll never be normal..." he shakes his head with a sickening smirk, "It's just a game. Everyone gets dressed up to be freaks for a night and we dance and drink and trip and fuck, and at the end of the night, everyone else gets to stop playing and go home because they can. But I can't take the costume off," he says, grabbing his plastron where it meets his chest, "This isn't fucking make up. I can't even walk around in the FUCKING DAYLIGHT!!!" He roars, hurling the bottle he's holding against the wall of the tunnel, a shard of glass ricochets back and cuts his cheek. "I'm not a person. I'm the fucking party mascot." He spits, venomously,
You take a step forward, "Mike, you know that's not true." 
Bitter laughter echoes in the enclosed space. "Funny. That's... That's funny. Really. Because I've been coming to these parties, meeting people, for seven years now. I've watched *seventeen* people end up just like Sarah and Ben." Your friends had been celebrating their engagement tonight, Michaelangelo had introduced them at a party three years ago. 
"I don't get to have that... I'll *never* get to have that," he chokes, "even as a joke. Honestly, at this point I'd take a joke. I'm already pretending to be a person, wouldn't be that hard of a jump to pretend to be loved, too. I'd just have to find someone willing to lie to me..."
He trails off and the silence that hangs in the air once the echoes of his voice fades is heavy and oppressive. 
"Like I said, there's no fucking point..." He turns around and starts walking down the tunnel towards home, one hand on the wall for support. "Don't worry, I'll be back to all smiles by Wednesday. We can pretend like this never happened. This doesn't have to be a thing and you don't have to pretend whether or not it matters if I'm okay." He hears you take a step toward him, "Go home, Y/N," he calls back without turning around. 
Fine. If he's going to leave anyway, you have nothing to lose. "No." 
"Okay, fine," he sighs continuing down the tunnel, "do whatever you want." 
"Okay," you say, simply, as you begin to follow him. 
He stops, shoulders tight, face toward the ceiling, and sighs heavily, "What are you doing?"
"Whatever I want?" you reply, closing the distance. 
He turns to face you, tired and hurting. If you want to go another round, he isn't exactly in a place where he can say no. At the very least, he could use the dopamine. He used to imagine it would be different with you. He should have known better. Jaw tight, he sighs before reaching for his belt.
Your eyes widen as you realize what he thinks you're implying, your heart shattering all over again. You bring your hand up to rest gently on his, stilling his movements. His eyes meet yours. Hesitant. Guarded. Unsure of what you're playing at. Your hand tightens gently around his as you step forward, and he tenses as if he might run. 
You reach up, and pull him down into your arms. He stiffens for a moment, he's already hanging on by a thread, but he can't help it, it's you. Instinct takes over, wrapping his arms around you and buying his face in your hair. 
You feel his grip tighten as the dam breaks, and despite his best efforts at keeping his shit under control, a ragged sob rips through him. 
You hold him as he cries, moving the two of you back to sitting against the tunnel wall. Eventually, the tears dry up, and he pulls himself away. He quiet for a long time, and looks down at his hands in his lap. He can't even look at you, ashamed and embarrassed. You didn't deserve that. To feel obligated to take care of him. You have better shit to do than this.
You reach up and twist one of the tails off his mask around your fingers, tugging once, gently. It draws his attention, and he meets your eyes, begrudgingly. You reach up and wipe the blood from his cheek, meeting his eyes again. "I'm sorry," he whispers, "I'm sorry, I..."
You hush him gently and sit up on your knees. Taking his face in your hands, you bring him down to you, kissing his forehead. 
He doesn't get it. Why are you being so nice to him. You got what you wanted, why did you follow him? Why are you comforting him? Why do you even care? He looks at you in bewilderment. 
"Tell you what," you say, "I'm not super comfortable with the idea of leaving you alone right now, and it's going to rain, and I don't want to get flooded out down here, so... What do you say we head back to my place. I can order us a pizza, and we can watch a movie, and you can head home once you're feeling a bit more sober stable..." You smile, you hope persuasively. 
"Yeah... Okay..." He says, as you help him to his feet. You aren't wrong. It is going to rain, and as fucked up as he is, traversing this set of tunnels in particular will be a little iffy if the storm drains start to flood. 
You bring him home. You do exactly as you say. Pizza. Movie. Ice cream for good measure. He's not sure what to do. He's usually the one doing the entertaining, and now here you are making sure he was happy and comfortable. 
It takes time, but by the end of the movie, Mikey's mostly sobered up, both physically and emotionally. You even get a genuine smile out of him as sunrise looms and he begins to make his way out. 
"So... thanks... for this," he says, looking at you softly. It was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him.
You smile, walking him to the window. "Anytime," you say, taking his hand and turning to face him as you come to the window, "and I mean that. Next time you get into that headspace will you do me a favor and try to reach for a phone instead of a bottle?" 
He smirks, nodding, "no promises, but I'll try."
"Thank you," you say as he reaches for the window. You touch his arm, gently "hey, one last thing," he steps back from the window to face you, and you stand up on your tiptoes and kiss him softly. It's simple, sweet, honest, "there's no reason you can't have what Sarah and Ben have," you whisper, before pulling away. 
He freezes. He's misunderstood. There's no way you're saying what it sounds like your saying, because it's what he wants you to be saying, so there's no *way* it could actually be what you're saying... Right?
You watch the torrent of emotions play out in his eyes, and you reach up to tug n on his mask. "Sunrise, Sunshine." You say. 
"Sunrise..." He repeats before he blinks, shaking his head, "Right. Yeah. Sunrise. I, uh, I'll see you -
"Wednesday."
"Tomorrow."
You say at the same time, before you laugh nervously under his gaze, "If, you know, you're not busy." You don't want to have to wait until Wednesday.
Hope flickers in his eyes. It's tiny and buried under so much hurt and insecurity, but it's definitely there, "I, uh, yeah... I mean, I gotta work, but I'll be wrapping up around two... so, if you're still up..."
"I'll be up," you say quickly, and he can't help but smile as both of your faces grow warm and you laugh gently. 
"Okay... I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then," he says quietly, almost in disbelief. Is this... What? What is this? He doesn't know, but it feels... better. Warm. Comforting. The things you said, the things you did for him tonight, this... He wants more of this. He'll do whatever he has to to have more of this. 
You can't help the grin that brightens your face. "Until tomorrow, then," you say, and kiss him one last time before he slips out into the desaturated predawn light, and is gone. 
.....
Tag list
@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @milykins
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bullet-prooflove · 1 day ago
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Hey bbz, for the "three words prompt"
Interruption, bed, pillow talk with Velasco
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(I miss his floofy hair 😭)
Tagging: @kmc1989 @plaidbooks @witches-unruly-heart @storiesofsvu @rosaliedepp
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You’re in the throes of passion when Joe’s phone rings. Your nails are raking down his back because he has you right there on the precipice of pleasure, when he picks the damn thing up.
“Velasco.” He mumbles, stilling his hips as he keeps himself buried deep in your cunt.
You whine at the lack of motion and he places two fingers over your lips to silence you as he listens to the voice on the other end of the line. You bite the tips of his fingers in response and Joe’s eyes almost roll back into his head as you suck them into your mouth before grinding down against his cock.
“I’ll be right down.” He mutters into the phone before he tosses it back down onto the nightstand and looks at you apologetically. “I have to go.”
“Right now?” You ask and Joe sighs, pulling out because he’s already starting to soften due to the change of mood.
“I don’t mean to leave you hanging.” He tells you earnestly. “But there’s been a break in the case and Bruno’s downstairs waiting for me. If we don’t get this guy now…”
“Sure, yea I get it.” You say collapsing back onto the pillows and staring up at the ceiling.
He can tell you’re frustrated, he is too. It’s been a couple of weeks since you’ve had the night off together, it was supposed to be a chance for the two of you to reconnect and now he has to leave too track down some asshole in another borough.
“You can stay…” he begins but you’re already shaking your head as you slip out of his sheets on the opposite side of the bed.
“No point if there no one to make pillow talk with.” You tell him, your voice tight as you tug your jeans up over your ass.
“Alright.” Joe concedes, pulling on his t-shirt before he reaches for his underwear. “I can stop by in the morning…”
“I’m on the early shift.” You remind him despondly as you gather up your own badge, gun and phone from the nightstand.
“Look, I’ll call you when I…”
The door slams and Joe knows you’re already hurtling down the stairs to get away from him. This is what happens when you get hurt or overwhelmed, you bolt and Joe he doesn’t have the time right now to go after you, to make things right.
“Fuck.” He mutters as Bruno’s ring tone cuts through the air, summoning him once more.
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willowed-wisp · 7 hours ago
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NSFW ALPHABET [ johnny ‘soap’ mactavish]
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
THE AFTERCARE KING!
He was raised to treat his partner like a goddess and you took him so well for so long… he’s waiting on you hand and foot, whatever you need. Bath being drawn? Food? More sex? He’s more than willing.
Even after a quickie, he’s checking you’re alright. Praising you for being so perfect, and more often than not it will lead to more sex because those eyes draw you back in.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
ON HIMSELF: He knows how much you love his eyes, probably the reason you even gave him a chance. Also they’re the reason he can watch your curves and how your lips widen when he slips into you… his eyes have a lot to do with his job and his life.
ON YOU: Johnny CANNOT pin down what he loves about you more. Your thighs when they tighten around his hips? Your lips that give him a run for his money no matter what they’re being used for?
He just loves YOU in general, he’s more of a personality guy but it’s an added bonus that you’ve got so many benefits.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Breeding kink is written all over this man. Inside all day long, he knows you don’t like having to clean up the mess on your body and the image of you carrying a little one of him… it’s too tempting for him.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Still hasn’t told Ghost that he fucked you over the arm of his couch when you were staying over at his.
Simon definitely knows, he could smell the unmistakeable scent of fresh sex as he came through to the living room. And the scrape marks on the wooden boards- the sofa had moved a few inches to the right.
Not to mention the scratches up Johnny’s arms, and the abrasions along your collarbone.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Johnny was so dead set on going into the military that girls may not have had his full focus.
He’s definitely experienced, have you seen that face ✨irresistible✨ and he’s an impossible flirt. Not a manwhore by any means but DEFINITELY knows how to pleasure you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
STANDING: He’s got muscles and what’s the point in having them not to use them on the person he cherishes most. He’s fucking into you while you’re suspended in the air- only thing stopping your descent to the ground; his arms hooked under your bent knees and hands clutching your ass.
DOGGYSTYLE: He can get so rough and bothered with you on all fours, watching your fingers clutch into the soft sheets of his bed. Your pretty voice filling the void between the flesh slapping and mattress creaking. Johnny doesn’t care if he doesn’t last as long as usual, he can’t help loving how your ass jiggles against his spread thighs.
IN HIS LAP: Sitting up with you in his lap wrapped so perfectly around him. Christ, he’d die a happy man if he got to see that every day. Your moans so loud like that, him buried so deep. Your body shivers and nails clutch deeper into his tattooed shoulder blade.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s gonna laugh if you guys fall off the bed. Doesn’t mean he’s gonna stop fucking you. It’s a unique image seeing this buff guy, covered in a range of scars and tattoos have such an angelic smile while defiling you. A weird dichotomy but you see it in your fucking dreams.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Johnny’s a clean shaven guy down there. The guy even styles his facial hair and even his mohawk. He’s definitely got a handle of the hair down there.
There’s still a dark brown shadow down there but no hair in sight.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s so intimate.
When he comes home from deployment, he enjoys being cuddled up to something soft and breathing instead of crawling around in the dirt.
He’s so lively with his hands, cannot keep them off you. That’s how you end up under his heat, or how you end up spread with your beau on his knees eating you like he’s been a starved man.
Takes you out on little dates, nothing too fancy- he’s a down-to-earth guy. Normally in his local pub, you don’t mind as long as you’re with your man.
He’s so protective, and anybody would be stupid to cross this stocky built man with an SAS emblem on his forearm.
Johnny doesn’t even look at other women, as far as he’s concerned you are the only woman on the planet.
J = Jack off (masturbation head-canon)
Before you definitely jacked off once a day maybe more but after meeting you, you became the main focus and after you were ready to go all the way, you two have sex everyday. He just has an unquenchable need to be inside of you and feel that buzz.
During deployment, he doesn’t have the time or the drive to keep that amount up. But when he finds the time, the memories of you are his only assistance.
He’s definitely glad to get back to you, his safe place. His home.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
BREEDING: You’re the only person he’s wanted to knock up. Before he didn’t even know if he COULD be a father… he’d be gone for too many days for him to bear the guilt. He didn’t want to be an absent dad but knowing you were there to take care of the kids… he melts at the thought of two boys and you pregnant with a girl.
The reason he makes sure to come out alive, a family waiting for him.
BONDAGE: He gets way too excited being at your completed mercy. Hands behind his back, tied with a pair of your tights, on a dining chair. His blue gaze entranced watching you work your magic all over his tensed body. Until he breaks out of his restraints… you have one hell of storm coming…
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Doesn’t really care where you have sex just as long as it’s comfortable. The bed is a classic place.
CAR: Not too keen on places that are too open. He drives either a Ford Ranger or a relatively modern BMW, hop in the front seat. Or if he’s feeling more handsy and in control- back seat, hands on ass type of doggy style. It’s like candy to him
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You. You’re just the whole motivation for this man. You’re the reason he HAS to come home.
Rubbing his hair is a kind of turn on for him, any type of sensual touch. Caressing his tattoos and running your finger along his scars. He’s like a puppy dog turned to a wolf.
Wearing his clothes. He can’t help it, he wants everyone to know your his- maybe he bought you a shirt that said ‘MacTavish’ on the back just to fuck you in. Got matching hoodies as well. Even if you’re not married, they say ‘Mr and Mrs MacTavish’. They don’t stay on for long, most likely stripped with his bare hands.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Anything that would harm you. You’re too precious and delicate taking him so good.
No degrading you- he will never call you a ‘whore’, ‘slut’ or anything of that sort. You’re his lady, he’ll treat you like a goddess till the day he dies.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Doesn’t really care about blowjobs, prefers you taking him in other ways.
As for oral, he could eat you up for days and you’d gladly let him. He’s great at running his mouth and eating you up.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Truly is your decision or how long he’s been away from you.
If you’re begging him with those pretty eyes for him to jackhammer you- he will and lose himself in it.
But when he’s gentle and deep, it’s almost as affective because eye contact is involved… losing yourself in their waves.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves a good quickie, for him it’s like a warmup to actually worshipping you. It helps get that darker side out of him, he’s almost animalistic during quickies so he can pay attention to your own needs.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Johnny is open to trying new things except the no nos. He loves learning new positions and strives to keep you satisfied when you’re just happy with him.
He definitely takes risks- gets his blood pumping and he’s not the shy type. If someone does catch you in the act- he’ll just carry on… they shouldn’t have walked in. While you’re there mortified.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He could last all night and day if you wanted him to. His stamina is diabolical, but he’ll take care of you after the ten rounds he’s capable of managing through a 24-hour-span.
That normally happens when he gets back on leave. The neighbours definitely know when that is.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He’s definitely open to try anything new. But he’ll always protest after it that you were louder with just him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Have you met this man? He’s the poster-boy for teasing in whatever degree.
Will get so far with foreplay and get distracted… but fluttering your eyelashes has never worked so well. He always concedes.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Definitely is shouting praises at you under his breath. About how good it feels inside of you and how he could stay there forever.
He gets louder with each round, it’s raw and rugged hearing his accent really come through so you can barely understand it.
That doesn’t mean you’re any less riled up by them.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Would maybe play with the idea of a threesome with Ghost… it’s slipped across his mind more than he’d like to admit.
You and Simon seem to get on great, and as protective as Johnny may be, it turns him on thinking about you being fucked by himself while choking on LT.
He knows it would never happen but it’s a weird fantasy he contemplates. And it’s only an idea, jealousy runs writhe in his veins at the thought of another person touching you like or at all.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s confident for a reason- about 7 inches but very thick.
You’ve never been so split in half before.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Craves you every minute of every day. He’s a fiend for your body… even without the sex, your company is his own drug.
On a scale of 0-10, he’s an 11.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
If he’s been going at it, he’ll wait to see if you needed anything before slipping into bed beside you and his chest being used as your personal pillow. He sleeps so soundly since he met you.
————
masterlist
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mysecretlittlelibrary · 23 hours ago
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Hello! I don't know if you're still taking requests, but if you do, could I please request an imagine where the reader and eddie are best friends and the reader gets really injured when Venom is in a fight, bonus points if eddie has to do cpr to revive her. Thank you so so much!
~Hazard of Our Friendship~
Pairing: Eddie Brock x Reader
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: drowning mention, knives, graphic depictions of violence
Genre: fluffy angst
Summary: Your best friend has a symbiotic alien sharing his body which means sometimes he gets attacked while you're just trying to discuss a movie.
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A/N: Oh darling my asks are always open~! xo hope you like it!
***
You scoff as you listen to Eddie talk. You can't believe what he's saying.
"You're crazy! You seriously think that was better than the second one?" You ask incredulously.
"I think each movie gets better than the last." Eddie says.
"What're you smoking and how do I get some because you are clearly on something." You snort.
"I liked it I don't see the problem." He shrugs.
"That's not the question though! I liked it too but it's NOT better than the second one was!" You shake your head.
"You do this every time we see one of these movies." Eddie chuckles.
"Because the second was the best! It's in a league of its own they're never gonna do better than that." You say.
"Okay fine ye of little faith and quick judgment- what could they do to make the next movie better than the second movie?" Eddie rolls his eyes playfully.
"The second movie was just iconic! When they realize and manage to replicate the intensity with which that movie hit emotionally, they'll have another masterpiece. It's not about duplicating though, they shouldn't repeat the plot, they just need to figure out how to create a similar pull. That's what I'm looking for I need a pull and the newer movies just haven't been pulling me."
"You're insane you know that?"
"I think you need to rewatch the second movie. Clearly you aren't properly remembering the absolute magic of the second movie dude." You shake your head.
"Clearly." He snorts. A moment passes and notice something change abruptly in your friend's demeanor.
"What?" You frown at him.
"What?" He snaps his head towards you.
"Your energy shifted, something changed. Why? What's going on?"
"Nothing." He says quickly.
"You're on edge. I can see it so don't lie to me. Especially because you're starting to stress me out." You tell him.
"Venom's a little- freaked. He thinks we've got company." Eddie admits.
"Not the good kind I'm guessing. Based on your... disposition."
"Just- stay close, it'll be fine." Eddie says gently resting his hand on your arm. He's clearly on high alert, eyes scanning every darkened alley you walk by. You catch movement off to one side and grab Eddie's attention.
"E- could those be our visitors?" You ask. Eddie follows your eye.
"Fuck me- it's fine, just stay behind me." Eddie steps forward and uses his arm to nudge you behind him.
"Come on Eddie, they're just some guys. This should be easy." You say.
"Unfortunately if they've come for me it's never just some guys." Eddie sighs. "Look guys- I'm sure you don't want any trouble, whatever you think you're gonna gain from this, you'll lose a lot more- trust me." Eddie tells the group. There's maybe 5 of them it seems, but you can't be sure others aren't lurking nearby.
"Yeah- that's the bastard." One of the guys grumbles and Eddie's eyebrow furrows.
"Wait sorry- do you know me or something?" Eddie asks, tilting his head.
"You fucking jackass-" The guy is clearly appalled by Eddie's perceived audacity and starts towards you and Eddie.
"Venom." Eddie calls.
"COPY." Venom replies before overtaking Eddie. You step back a bit to accommodate the size change. Also to give him room, Venom's fighting style is- messy from what you know.
You've never actually seen them fight, although Eddie didn't try to hide Venom from you, he was very intentional about limiting your exposure to him. You're not totally sure why, but it doesn't stop you from making nice with him. Eddie swears the relationship between them is mostly symbiotically beneficial, which means he'll probably be around for a while. Which means he'll be around you for a while, and you want that to be a net positive. So you always ask about him and include him in your relationship with Eddie, and bring him chocolate any time you hang out with them. Eddie swears you spoil him so you hope that means he likes you.
Venom seems to be handling the fight pretty well, I mean he can grow appendages at will, no matter how many of them there are, they can't outmatch him.
"You're coming with me." A gruff voice says wrapping a hand around your wrist.
You snap your head around quickly.
"Fuck off. Don't touch me." You take your index and middle finger and jam them into the inner corners of his eyes.
He screams as you dig your digits in deeper.
"You're ruining movie night." You drag him forward by his eye sockets and bash his head into your knee knocking him out. "Asshole." You huff.
"Eulgch gross now my hand is covered in eye juice." You frown. You bend over and wipe your hand on his shirt.
"That's better I guess." You say stepping over the guy to wear Venom has dragged the fight, near the pier.
"Not so fast." A voice grits out behind you as arms encircle your body, trapping you.
"Hey let go of me you bastard." You grunt squirming against his hold.
Your movements stop abruptly with a sharp gasp when you feel cool metal against your throat. A knife.
"Really? An 8 foot monster is stomping out your little pals and you go for the one who isn't doing shit? Coward." You scoff.
"Shut up." He spits through clenched teeth.
"Eddie!" You call out. "No rush but when you get a second some help would be nice! VENOM!" You shout, the blade digging ever so slightly into your skin.
Venom snaps his head towards you and immediately changes his focus, heading towards you and the person holding you hostage.
Your captor walks you backwards as Venom closes in but as he reaches an appendage towards you one of the others pulls out a flamethrower. Where did he get a fucking flamethrower?!
"Venom look out!" You shout but you're not quick enough.
The fire hits him. He lets out a roar of a sound. And then retreats into Eddie, who falls to his knees.
"Eddie?!" You call frantically.
"I'm fine! Just- gotta give Venom time to recover." Eddie grunts.
"If you're fine get up and turn around you dumbass!" You shout. The guy with the flamethrower is closing in on Eddie, luckily he's dropped the thing. Not really a smart move in your opinion but it makes Eddie's chances of beating him without Venom higher.
Eddie spins on his heel just in time to dodge a wild swing from mister flamethrower.
"Woah. Shit." Eddie says. He punches the guy directly in the face and the two start a proper fist fight.
"Hang on y/n I'll be right there!" He tells you between throwing and dodging punches.
"Yeah, I wasn't planning on going anywhere!" You say.
"Could do without the sass at this moment dude!" He says.
"I've got a knife to my throat I'll do whatever I want to cope with it!" You shoot back.
"Sorry about all this!"
"Hazard of our friendship! I know how this goes!" You say.
Eddie finally takes down his opponent and turns to you. He runs in your direction, Venom at some point taking over and freaking out your captor. For a guy holding a knife to your throat he's moving incredibly reckless, stumbling backwards and dragging you with him. Right over the edge of the pier. You scream as you fall back, at least you've been released it seems. Your assailant, in trying to save himself has freed you from his grasp.
The water is a bit chilly, it's not as bad as it could be, but it is only August so it'd be weird if it was ice cold. Water fills your mouth as you sink below the surface. You try to swim up, but the other guy wraps his hand around your leg. You can't swim super well as is, the extra weight hindering your movement pretty much renders your attempt to save yourself futile. Still you flail and desperately kick at your attacker's hand, hoping that you can get him to let you go before your lungs give out. They're already starting to seriously burn.
You hate open water. Besides the fact that you're nowhere near a strong enough swimmer based on the dangers of open water like this, you can't see anything and not knowing what lurks nearby stresses you out even more.
You're starting to panic. The longer you're down here, the more undersea monsters you seem to be able to imagine. You're going to die down here and some random swimming creatures will start eating your decaying flesh and your family won't even have a body to bury when they have your funeral. Or if they manage to find you, you'll be so destroyed by critters they'll have to keep the casket closed. Honestly at this point you hope they cremate you.
The panicking isn't helping. You know it's not, and yet it's all you can do as your vision is starting to blacken around the edges. You still can't get this guy to let go of your fucking leg, and dammit you're getting too weak to keep fighting him. How is he still holding on? You feel your body go limp as you lose consciousness.
Eddie's heart drops as he watches you go over the edge of the pier. You can barely swim, you hate the open water, he has to get you out of there and fast. The only problem is it feels like these goons keep multiplying and if they have to keep fighting he'll never reach you in time.
"We have to get to y/n." Eddie says.
"WE WILL." Venom says ready to fight the next guy.
"No, now V! Fuck the fighting I don't care eat them if you have to. Just get to her!"
"GREAT PLAN." Venom's smile is enough to freak out the person standing between them and where you're currently drowning.
Eddie's counting the seconds as Venom traipses towards the water, biting off heads on the way. There's not even enough movement near the surface for Eddie to tell if you're still alive down there. It's taking you two long to come up.
"YOUR STRESS IS MAKING THIS MORE DIFFICULT EDDIE."
"I'll stop stressing when we get y/n out of the fucking water!" Eddie snaps.
"FINE!" Venom dives into the water and manages to find you surprisingly quickly, dragging your lifeless body out of the water.
"Put her down we have to do something." Eddie says.
"WHAT DO WE DO?" Venom asks.
"You watch my back while I try to remember my high school CPR class." Eddie tells him, kneeling beside you.
Pressure.
There's a pressure against your chest.
It's rhythmic, consistent, and just a couple of pascals short of risking a broken rib.
Your nose is pinched and something touches your lips. Air flows into your mouth in bursts and then again with the pressure.
Suddenly you feel water coming up and you lurch forward to expell it, coughing painfully as your body tries to get rid of the water forced into your lungs when you nearly drowned.
"God drowning sucks." You choke out, your voice coming out very raspy and it honestly hurts to say even that short sentence.
"Thank fuck." Eddie sighs, his shoulders dropping in relief.
"YOU'RE ALIVE! EDDIE WE SAVED HER." Venom pokes his head around over Eddie's shoulder.
"I thought I was going to lose you." Eddie whispers, cupping your cheek gently.
"I'm almost offended you thought I'd go out that easily." You joke, coughing again.
"Stop talking! You'll hurt yourself." Eddie says.
"Oh would you relax. I'm not dead, talking won't do me in." You roll your eyes.
"YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE IN PAIN." Venom says.
"Thanks V." You snort.
"Venom she just almost drowned dude." Eddie shakes his head.
"I AM TRYING TO CHECK ON HER. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM!?"
"Nothing's wrong. Don't you two start. Just- can you take me home?" You groan forcing yourself up. Eddie scrambles to his feet, helping you up until eventually Venom simply takes over and lifts you into his arms.
"Venom I'm pretty sure I can still walk ya know." You say, admittedly a bit nervous in his hold. Not that you think he'll drop you, you've just never interacted with him so directly.
"YOU SHOULDN'T STRAIN YOURSELF. AND WE ARE TAKING YOU TO OUR APARTMENT."
"What? Why?"
"SO WE CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU WHILE YOU GET BETTER."
"Get better? All I need to do is shower and go to sleep, I'll be fine." You scoff.
"EDDIE WANTS TO SEE THAT FOR HIMSELF."
"You're very lucky I don't have any more energy to argue about all this." You mutter.
Eddie counts his blessings when he hears that. Of course it would take you nearly drowning to finally allow him to look after you. Little victories he supposes. Granted saving your life is definitely way more than a little victory. You are the single most important person in his life. If he wasn't sure of that before this he's absolutely sure of it now.
***
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urban-fleabag · 1 day ago
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Hi... So... You responded to my post about my shift a little while ago and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be more in touch with my theriotypes. I have a good idea on how to let myself be a cat, but I was wanting to know about my (Also recently discovered) wolf theriotype. Being a cat is easy, I've been doing it my whole life without realizing it and just need to be more open to it, but the wolf is a problem. I know that you're a coyote, and was wondering if you could give me tips about being a wild canine or if you have any other sites, communities, or other advice for me to figure it out myself. I've been researching wolf behavior, so I think that'll help.
You're definitely on the right path researching wolf behavior! That'll point you in the direction of what sorts of things will make you feel more like you and give you ideas on what to try out. For me, personally, vocalizations are pretty huge- that's a very Coyote Thing, but can apply to wolves too, howling is like, one of their Key Features.
I also highly recommend making your room your den and establishing a local territory- either just your back yard, or some local places you hang out. I find it helps a lot for me to think of home and work as parts of my territory, it helps me feel secure. Some people even go out and "claim" parts of local parks with howling/vocals and hanging out, but I haven't gotten the chance to do that yet.
If you're a gamer, I HIGHLY recommend Wolf Quest on the PC- one of my partners is a wolf and they're legitimately obsessed with the game and have been following its development for years. You play as a wolf in Yellowstone and you have a pack and raise pups, and I've heard really great things.
I also personally find that adding extra meat to your diet if you're so inclined can help you feel more at home. I need the extra protein anyways, so it was a major bonus for me, but really anything you can tear up with your teeth should be good. Make sure you're still attending to your human form's needs, but feel free to indulge. I also find oranges are a good treat to rip and gnaw on if you're not a fan of meats.
Some good media that might help you feel at home is a movie called Wolfwalkers (highly recommend even to a non therian tbh it's great), and Autumn J on YouTube makes a lot of alterhuman music including one specifically about wolves if you wanna give a listen! It always makes me feel shifty in a good way.
Unfortunately, I don't have a ton of sites or community based links, so I'll crowsource this one- I hope you don't mind me answering publicly. I will say, avoid the fuck out of TikTok. It's full of misinformation and gatekeeping, and generally just kind of a warped view of what therianthropy is. Feel free to check it out for gear and quads I guess, I've heard good things about quads but I can't do them due to my carpal tunnel and they're a newer thing afaik. Just don't rely on TikTok for informative stuff- it skews super young and overall isn't helpful for education, which is fine because it's an entertainment app.
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emulation-0 · 3 months ago
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people who also have the word 'fandom' anywhere in their bios especially if theyre in their 30s also tells me all i need to know about you
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soarrenbluejay · 8 months ago
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Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.
The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.
Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!
Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!
See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!
So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!
She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.
(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)
This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.
Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.
Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.
So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.
The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!
The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.
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whollyjoly · 2 months ago
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okay so i saw this on my dash and although i wasnt tagged i just!! really wanted to do the thing!!
shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs:
Julia by Mt. Joy
Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier
Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan
Moody Orange by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan
Wonderful Nothing by Glass Animals
Hide by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
South London Forever by Florence + The Machine
Lips by The xx
Painkillers by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
tagging some people cause fuck yeah!! music is great!!
@thetangycheesemanwithaplan @kyellin @theredrenard @alost-traveler @the-cinnamontography-is-amazing @gourdita @1waveshortofashipwreck
and anyone else who sees this and is inspired like i was!!
happy listening loves 🥰
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tenderjock · 3 months ago
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What more do you want?
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wormshirt · 10 months ago
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The Doctor needs one of those classes they give to expecting/hopeful parents but for humans. Get their ass enrolled in a parenting course. And everytime they get a new companion he has to retake the course.
#doctor who#dw#the doctor#inspired by the deleted scene of her just pushing amy out of the tardis doors into space#while amy was having an anxiety attack. YOU CANNOT DO THAT!#they have access to all of time and space the doctor has to be able to find a human parenting/caretaker course#bonus points if he ends up taking one for human children.#imgine youre travelling with the doctor and he leaves and comes back one day and says they enrolled themself in a human management course#and youre like 'oh thank god finally'#and then she just starts bubble wrapping the entire tardis and locking off entire rooms and giving you coloring sheets and stim toys#when you get bored#and starts taking you to like. fucking parks to play with other humans.#and starts carrying like fucking snacks like lunchables and shit everywhere and giving them to you at regular intervals#and you're like 'hey what the fuck.'#and you ask them what the hell they're doing and you find out they were learning to care for human TODDLERS.#and you're like. jesus fucking christ. explains so much. mildly disconcerting how much stayed the same though.#and so obviously you ask 'do you see me as a child?' and the doctor is like. ah. interesting question.#you know what else is interesting. OOOOOOO TELETUBBIES LETS LOOK AT THE TELETUBBIES OOOOOO EDUCATIONAL GAMES OOOO!!!!#LOOK AT THE SMALL HUMAN ON THE SCREEN WHICH PAIR OF SHOES MATCHES THE DRESS??? CHOOSE FAST!!!!!!#this could also open the door for an amazing bit though#where you start doing all of the same things back to the doctor and it works even better on them than it did you.#turn their ass into an ipad kid. they start arguing too much put his ass on minecraft pocket edition.#she just sits there for 1-3 hours. dead silence. you walk over like. 'hey. um. you good.'#no answer. you look ove rher shoulder. she has recreated ancient rome in minecraft in exact replica and is the reigning emperor.#they are roleplaying the roman senate with sheep and villagers. okay. can you please save the world now. please.#this is not to infantilize the doctor. he is old as shit. they are an adult. but by god can they be easily entertained.#not to mention that a key factor of the doctor IS their eternal childishness.#but they ARE a fully grown adult. beyond that even. ancient 'were you alive to see the dinosaurs grandpa?' ass motherfucker.#they are just also a masive loser. who would love minecraft pocket edition and lunchables. probably. who doesn't though.#bangers
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heytheredeann · 10 months ago
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#prev I see your aro Napoleon#consider: Napoleon rating Gabllya’s kissing based on a review scale only he knows#bonus points for judgemental side eyes
@yallwildinrn posting this here to avoid derailing the post too much, but YES YES YES
He carries around cards with numbers and cards with + and - signs to deliver his judgement. He ALWAYS fucking has them, because he doesn't understand romance so he is never 100% sure that ANY situation is going to be kiss-free
At first Illya and Gaby figure that he's rating their kisses based on sexyness, which like would track when it comes to Napoleon's alloaro ass, right? Except one time he rates the most unsexy, sticky, quick peck on the lips with a 9 and they are extremely confused
He rates a full-blown make-out session a 3 one time and a 7 another time (in their defense, He Was Not Supposed To Be There), and they don't understand what the difference was
Plus, sometimes he rates the kiss high but still gives them the WORST side-eye, they have no idea what is going on in his head but they are so happy to have him there regardless
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lesbianpegbar · 1 year ago
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reset the counter it has been 0 days since cheng xiaoshi has experienced a horrific trauma
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eats-the-stars · 2 months ago
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everybody who went to a private catholic school name the craziest personal belief an instructor lectured the class on.
i'll go first: mentally disabled people are free of original sin, just like animals, so they get a free pass to heaven
#bonus points if the lecture was not-so-subtly referencing you specifically#ye i was the only super obviously autistic kid in my class since we did not have special ed classes or accommodations of any kind#and yes this teacher did seem to believe that i fell into the category of 'mentally disabled people who are like animals'#oddly enough this kind of made me her favorite student#she was really big on infantilizing ppl who were a certain level of mentally disabled#and yeah i guess dehumanizing too#except like how people says 'all doggos are good boys'#and even if a dog bites someone you can't like claim that dogs know the difference between good or evil#so it's not like...a fucking sin or something#so yeah she did openly express this stuff in class#i can't remember her explanation for mentally disabled ppl being free of original sin#but it was like tied in with the whole 'tree of knowledge' thing#and how not having that knowledge/sin is what makes us like innocent and dumb#got compared to a dog and also a lamb. not directly. like she did not call me out by name#but the entire class was super uncomfy because it was really obvious she was indirectly talking about me#at the time i was also like 'huh that explains some of her behavior around me'#and also thought it was hilarious that i got a free pass to heaven in her mind#also thought it was funny that she thought i was mentally disabled#because at this point i just thought i was a deeply weird person being mistaken for a mentally disabled person#but uh nope. i was like. really autistic. like lots of classic negative shit too like biting other kids and self-harmful stims and stuff
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pyro-madder · 3 months ago
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Micolaurence and damicolash I think? + Micorom, if you want xD (micolash is everywhere)
someone needs to stop this man and his inexplicable fish-eyed-living-corpse rizz
/laurence
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"i ship them for canon" is for their thematic opposition of blood/beast and insight/madman, i'm always here for dichotomies. this grid doesn't really cover my view of them because to me they're really just this post :
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/damian
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ough i think it's my favorite ship for mico ! it was originally tied with micoed but the latter is getting more attention as far as i've seen (which isn't a bad thing) so i ended up leaning slightly further into damico X) mea culpa though, i myself haven't drawn them properly (yet) !!
oh yeah and again as far as i've seen, i'm the only asshole who interpreted damian being summonable against rom as a desperate attempt to reach micolash, rather than an act of opposition... (though it ends up being one as collateral) 👁️👄👁️
/rom
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i still need a better grasp at my rom to imagine their development during the early church days, but i adore the item they'd make in byrgenwerth already :} i've started writing a post about them since a few of you seemed interested... coming soon............. 👀
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